Fullmetal Shinobi
by Kenchi618
Summary: On a night where his dream is put in jeopardy, Naruto must show how exceptional of a ninja he is by bringing an entirely new facet to the world of shinobi. Eventual NaruXOC OCxFemHaku. Will be EPIC in length. *Warning: First Story Written*
1. Introduction to a New Direction

**Fullmetal Shinobi**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did Naruto would have way cooler dialogue,and I sure as hell wouldn't be in college because I'd be stacking back rubber band bank right now… Seriously, Kishimoto is freaking caking right now, slide some of that my way… Loans ain't cheap peeps!

Normal speech: "what"

Thoughts/Speech taken out of context: 'what'

Demon/Summon speech: **"what"**

Demon/Summon thoughts: **'what'**

Jutsu: Shadow Clone Jutsu

**Chapter One: Introduction to a New Direction**

October 10, a day of meaning for every citizen of Konohagakure, the day the Yondaime Hokage defeated the seemingly invincible Kyuubi no Kitsune. As important as this day is, its importance varies for different people.

For most it is a day of mourning those lost during the great battle to subdue the all-powerful creature and to celebrate the costly victory; however for quite a few of the villagers it is a day for 'vengeance' as quite a few of them would put it, and their idea of proper vengeance is hunting down a young child known as the reincarnation of the 'damn demon-fox' and tormenting this poor soul to the extent their own twisted satisfaction.

'Damn it… Enough of this crap, how long do have to live like this.' These were the thoughts of 6-year old Naruto Uzumaki as he ducked through Konoha's backstreets and crowded corridors in an attempt to escape the drunken, bloodthirsty throng of villagers after his blood.

Repeatedly cut off and running out of options the child ran into the woods, collapsing to the forest floor Naruto came to a horrifying conclusion.

He was utterly surrounded.

As the mob inched ever closer with cries of, 'remember the Yondaime,' or 'your time has come demon' Naruto despite his fear of the ever impending doom resigned himself to his fate

'Heh, well… at least I'll have some peace in death,' thought Naruto. Morbidly resigning himself to try and get a few licks in before his inevitable demise Naruto rose to his feet one last show of bravado, "Come and get your asses kicked, Naruto Uzumaki fears no mortal man!"

Brave last words for a dead man walking.

XxX

A wagon loaded with metal working supplies was being dragged through the city by a boy no older than 9-years old. A gray haired red-eyed youth was straggling through the crowded streets, people clearing the way for him, as the look on his face showed that he was thin on patience and that those willing to test it would see just how much strength it takes to carry such a load.

"Damn that old bat, how the hell can she expect a little kid to drag all of this bullcrap across the damn city, let alone the whole damn country?" Were the strained groans of young Jushiro Moyomoto as he proceeded along the late night city streets towards the hotel of his current employer.

10 minutes later an exhausted Jushiro collapsed at the foot of the hotel storage facility stirring only at the quaint speech of a very familiar voice.

"Hmm, very good child you really are coming along when it comes to your eye for detail." Jushiro turned his head to be greeted with the vision of a short grey-haired lady with her hair in a bun, bifocals, a pipe, and a midwesten dress. "You may be worth the money I pay you after all."

"Ugh, kiss my ass you old goat, how the hell am I gonna do this all the way across the country?" Jushiro asked with ire in his tone, "I'll be dead before we even get half- way to Resembool… Kami."

"Oh! Well if this little burden is too much then I guess you can never expect to be a blacksmith, a real smithy is used to carrying twice this much daily for wares, a weakling like you should just give up if this pittance is too much." The old lady sneered.

Jushiro rolled on his back to glare at the woman, shouting, "KISS MY ASS PINAKO YOU OLD GNOME!" Narrowing his eyes at the old lady he continued, "I'm a friggin kid, I think it's damn impressive I got this all the way here…" *snort* "…Don't see why you didn't just hire a shinobi team to do this anyway, we are in a hidden village after all." He finished in a mumble.

Slamming a heel on the child's sternum she said, "Bah, lazy-good-for-nothing, kids like you need more drive, more focus." Grinding the foot in his chest she continued, "And if I say you need more seasoning, you need more seasoning; or my name isn't Pinako Rockbell, auto-mail enigineer extraordinaire! Not some runt like you that just wants to be a blacksmith."

"Obaasan, Jushiro, be quiet, it's late, and we all need to get up tomorrow for the trip home. Both of you get to bed" a 9-year old blond girl says walking up to the embattled pair. "Jushiro, you really should know that we don't have the money to afford a squad of shinobi for such a thing, stop antagonizing obaasan, and obaasan let Jushiro up, he is kind of right, carrying all of this stuff is gonna hurt him."

"Gomen Winry-chan," Jushiro said sheepishly, "I guess I'm cranky, but seriously… that is a crapload of supplies." The boy said as he stood up.

"What can I say kids," Pinako said smiling slightly, "I like being prepared."

XxX

As the dull thwacking noise of fists and feet smacking flesh along with the cheers of people echoed through the night Naruto found himself slipping in and out of consciousness, pain eventually replaced with a numb feeling of warmth, a tell-tale sign that the end was near.

'Kuso… I'm at the end of my rope… If this doesn't stop soon, I'm a goner, believe it.' Naruto thought just as his world went black.

"**Power." **

'Huh'

"**Do you desire more power kit?" **A dark, low, growling voice ebbed out, echoing in the dark.** "The power to save yourself, to rid your being of these bothersome fools?**

'Y-yes, yes I must get up, I don't want to die here,' Naruto thought weakly. 'There's too much left to do, I need to become Hokage, I vowed to, I can't die here.'

"**Here kit, as fun as it would be to just take control and slay these fools, I find it far more appealing to see how you would handle my power…" **The voice chuckled, **"Defend yourself child, I expect quite a show from you… Hahahahaha."**

The horrid beating continued as the tiny body began to stir. Naruto's rage at the continued efforts of the people took effect quickly. Grabbing a crowding man's foot he launched a punch at the man's kneecap, shattering it on impact. "Ahhhhhh, damn it, damn it to hell, get that demon, don't look at me, he's too dangerous to be left alive, finish him!"

A low growl diverted attention, Naruto, clothes cut to ribbons, blond hair dyed red with blood had risen to his feet with a look of absolute hatred in his eyes, canines bared, whisker marks deepened, people could swear that his aura was glowing in the night.

"**You know, I feel pretty good right now,"** He snarled with a smirk ** "So how's about you all see what kind of 'demon' I really am neh?" **And at that he ran into the crowd damaging anyone he could reach, punching, kicking, biting, grabbing, doing anything, everything he possibly could to cause physical harm to his enemies.

By now people were running in droves, resolve broken, terrified of their prey turned predator. Shouting encouragement to escape, screaming and shouting the forest quickly cleared of any and all assailants, leaving Naruto alone. The now exhausted blond slumped to the ground against a tree, rehashing the current events in his head. When the surge of power came, despite an overwhelming urge to kill, to maim, to rip the people apart, Naruto had made a considerable effort to keep himself from doing just that, because if he had, he would just be proving them all right. It would have proven he was a monster, a demon, that he was less than human, and he wouldn't give those hypocrites the satisfaction

XxX

The three travelers were settled into their hotel rooms for the night, Winry and Pinako in one room, Jushiro in the other. The two female travelers were fast asleep, however Jushiro was wide awake reading a small orange book. While the contents of said book were by admittance quite odd, Jushiro defended his habit of reading such strange literature by saying that the things he read could be used in the future when he got the opportunity to put the books findings into practice.

A terrifying feeling of dread set over the red-eyed youth as he sensed a tightly wound power coming from the outskirts of town. It was a think dreadful, unnatural force stirring the aspiring blacksmith from his reading

Wanting to satisfy his curiosity he snatched a hunting knife from his pack and ran downstairs and outside towards the power, "Old-lady Pinako and Winry-chan won't miss me much, hell I'll be back by sunrise."

XxX

Adrenaline settling and power ebbing, the child never sensed the sneak attack. A kick to the head coming from the middle of nowhere violently jerked the boy from his reprieve and sent him flying into another tree.

Jerking his head up to see his new enemy, shaking not with fear but now with anger he shouted to the skies, to his foe, to anyone or anything with the ability to hear. "WHY, WHY, WHY-WHY-WHY-WHY-WHY!" He screamed now with tears in his eyes, "WHAT THE HELL IS IT ALL FOR? WHAT DID I DO? WHO DID I HURT? ANSWER ME GODDAMN IT!"

A rather plain looking man with a chunin vest unsheathed a katana and a smug, self-satisfying grin on his face as he strolled to the defiant boy and kneed him in the head, " I don't need to answer you demon," The man said, "You're easy pickings now, you used all of your damn-dirty demon power on those civilians, well now you've got a true shinobi to deal with, time to die demon." Raising the blade above his head to finish the blonde maverick, time seemed to slow down for the boy.

'No, no more, these people want me dead, they damn sure better know… I. WILL. NOT. DIE.' The child darted to the right, arm seemingly serving as a makeshift catapult attempting to dodge the cold steel.

Attempting to follow up on his first slash he lunged toward the boy determined to fini…

He never followed up. At this moment Jushiro, trying to investigate the mysterious power, saw the man swing at a child leaping to get away, in a flash of horror and anger Jushiro ran in and thrusted his knife at the man's neck, piercing his adam's apple.

The chunin had a look of horror and confusion on his face, choking on blood and steel while Jushiro's emotionless ruby eyes showed no remorse. Choking and twitching for a few seconds, in a pool of blood the man went still and silent.

Averting his attention to the small, crawling blonde bundle a few yards away he said, "Hey kid, you can stop now, the guy is dead, very dead, he can't hurt you anymore, it's okay."

As if hearing his savior's words, the boy stopped moving, Jushiro walked towards the boy, all the while noticing things about the situation. Such as the tattered clothes, the raggedy footwear, the awkward angle that he came to rest at, the blood pooling around him. All these things were taken into account and upon reaching the child Jushiro turned around and saw a sight that brought bile to the top of his throat…

The mangled remains of a tiny arm, recently cut from a human body.

**Review or not… I'd appreciate it, but hey… What the hell. I just needed an outlet.**

**I'm not merging all major aspects of both stories, it's still a Naruto fic, however expect many, many, MANY, references and a few cameos from Fullmetal Alchemist. Questions are welcome as are comments on any ideas you might have. **


	2. What Was Lost

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did Naruto would be blowing up cities by now, seriously, even after beating Pein he still seems as weak a kitten in comparison to EVERY OTHER MAIN ANTAGONIST STILL ALIVE… except Kabuto, and that ain't much… I'm just sayin'.

**Chapter 2: What Was Lost**

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Sandaime Hokage, the 'god of ninja,' 'the professor' was overlooking the land of his domain on the morning of October 11 thinking only one thing. "I am too old for shit," He sighed while exhaling his pipe. Usually he'd be in a hospital waiting on Naruto to awaken after October 10, however the traditional summoning to the hospital by ANBU never happened as it usually did. At this revelation he did not know quite what to think, did Naruto actually prevent harm from coming to himself, or did the worst finally come to pass.

His answer finally came as he felt the familiar whipping of wind and spray of leaves common of shunshin, as he turned he was greeted by the sight of the familiar dog mask and gravity defiant gray hair, "Sandaime-sama, I have grave news."

"Is that so Kakashi, does it have to do with Naruto by chance?" The old man stated knowingly while taking another puff from his pipe.

"Hai Sandaime –sama, he's in the hospital E.R." Kakashi stated looking down, "It's… It's not good sir the kid is in rough shape."

The old man had a grim look on his face, 'Minato… what would you say now... seeing how they treat your legacy?' Turning to Kakashi, "Thank you Kakashi you are dismissed, go rest."

"Hai Hokage-sama, I just hope he somehow survives this one, I can't even begin to tell you, you have to see it yourself." The dog masked ANBU then proceeded to shunshin away.

The grizzled leader of men proceeded to exit his office, "Naruto, what can I do to protect you, when will you know peace my boy."

XxX

Naruto found himself suddenly standing in a field of white. White, white, white, however right in front of him there stood a massive gate covered in writing that slowly began to open.

Naruto heard wonderful voices, sounds of joyous laughter, cheering and people, all beckoning for him to enter. Without hesitation he proceeded within. Entering the dark he heard the gate begin to close and the child couldn't have cared less, "At least no one can hurt me here…" He morbidly thought.

Resigning to the dark the gate stopped closing, when Naruto heard a familiar voice, the voice beckoning him to fight back against the villagers. **Oh no you don't, it's not over yet, you can't have him yet damn it, he just got interesting"**

Turning around to face the familiar voice he saw a wave of red flowing toward him, as it surrounded him the voice spoke once more, **"Come along kit, you can't die yet, you and I are going to have such fun,"**

Now being dragged from the gate he heard one more thing before succumbing to overwhelming fatigue, **Now rest kit, you have a tall task ahead of you, make sure you are prepared and kit… I'll see you again very soon I assure you."**

XxX

Cobalt-blue eyes opened to blinding white, 'Woo-freakin'-hoo more white light… Ugh I feel like crap, okay, check your surroundings,' Naruto began checking his immediate surroundings, "Okay, smells like ammonia, rubbing alcohol, piss, and nasty food, obviously it's a hospital… duh."

He sat up and began to move about when he realized something, he could not feel his right arm, at all. Looking down his eyes widened with horror as he saw the nothingness spanning from his shoulder. Tears formed in his eyes, as a scream choked in his throat.

Touching the area of nothing he cried freely, wailing in anguish for his lost limb his door was quickly thrust open. Seeing that he currently had company he dammed up his tears and put on his emotional mask. "Wh-wh-who are you?" He said gazing at the arrivals. Three people he had never met before had entered his room. Leading the way was an elderly woman with gray hair up in a bun, bifocal glasses, and a frontier-reminiscent dress, she was almost as short as himself, however she carried herself as if she was not a frail old woman, with an air of confidence. Following her was a younger blond girl, a few years old than Naruto himself with blue eyes almost like himself, wearing a light blue sundress. The final boy walking in had long white hair, red eyes and and a tanner complexion than Naruto was used to. The boy had on an open olive vest with a grey shirt underneath and black pants. The thing about this person that interested Naruto was that despite being just a few years older was his body build, the muscular definition was evident even through all of the clothes, to Naruto the boy was huge.

"Well little one it seems you're finally awake, that's good, they said you wouldn't awaken for quite a while, you certainly are a tough little boy aren't you?" Said the elderly lady in the room.

"Yeah kid you had me all shaken up when I found you, thought you were a goner for sure, lucky bastard." The smiling white haired youth said while ruffling Naruto's hair. "Oh, by the way, this is Pinako Rockbell, her granddaughter Winry, and I am your personal hero, Jushiro Moyomoto!"

"Well hi guys, umm howdy," Naruto replied sheepishly, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm handicapped… at your service." He finished while looking down at his injury.

The four people in the room were left in awkward silence until the door opened revealing the Sandaime Hokage, "Hey there old man, what's up?"

Moving closer towards the bed Sarutobi realized the very important piece of missing flesh and bone. He stood in silence for a moment, not really trusting his voice before he finally spoke "Naruto-kun, I'm so glad you're alive, what happened, who did this to you, tell me everything."

As Naruto got situated he began to tell the events of the previous night to all in attendance, he saw the old kage begin to fume in quiet rage, Pinako was thoroughly disgusted and flinched noticeably when Naruto recalled the more graphic points. While Jushiro's eyes showed bitter indifference his mind was screaming more questions, 'who was this kid?' 'Why was he attacked, and what the hell is this guy doing about it?'

Winry was driven to tears and by the time he was done she had glomped him, crying into his still existent left arm. "Oh kami, how could anyone do anything like this to a little kid?" she cried.

"Naruto I-I…" Sarutobi seemed to be at a loss for words, "I'm so sorry, there could've been something I…

"Old man it's not your fault, there's only so much you can do, you've already done so much, I know you can't help every time anything happens to me, Hokage or not you're just one man." Grabbing the phantom limb where his arm used to be Naruto felt the tears rise once more, "I guess I need to find a new dream now… since I don't know any one-armed ninja at all, let alone a one-armed Hokage."

'Naruto… I WILL find a way to help you now, I swear it.' Sarutobi looked around the room and took notice of the three foreign faces in surrounding the bed. "If I could speak to you all in my office about this, we should let Naruto here get some rest"

All bidding Naruto a good-bye, Pinako, Winry, and Jushiro followed the Sandaime to his office.

XxX

"I would like to thank you all for helping Naruto last night, Kami knows he needs all he can get," he began as he sat behind his desk while his guests took the couches around front. "I would like to get your viewpoints from what happened"

And so all three told their side of the tale, while Pinako and Winry had the part of ensuring the boy did not die on the way to the hospital, Jushiro had told the largest chunk of the events, reciting his part of finding Naruto, killing his attacker, and rushing to the hotel and then to the hospital with the boy in hand.

"I see, I must thank you Pinako-san and you Winry-chan for prolonging Naruto's life, I can only imagine what that took" Sarutobi said with a look of admiration on his face.

"It was not an issue Sandaime-sama, what were we to do, allow the child to die?" Pinako said, following the old man's example she took out her own pipe and began to smoke.

"Yeah, I mean he's barely older than us, who could just do something like that, what a monster." Winry stated, beginning to feel enraged. "Nothing he could have possibly done would make attacking him justifiable."

Jushiro shifted uncomfortably in his seat, fearing repercussions from his defense of Naruto. Sensing this, Sarutobi began to address the red-eyed boy. "And you, Jushiro," His tone forcing Jushiro to squelch further in his chair as if he would melt under the old man's firm gaze. "Thank you my boy, had you not showed up when you did, Naruto would have lost far more than an arm." Seeing Jushiro loosen up he continued, "I'm impressed with you, a child your age taking down a chunin level ninja is a very big deal."

Jushiro's face echoed the confusion he felt, "Nani? You aren't like totally pissed off that I killed one of your ninja?" Seeing the look on Sarutobi's face, Jushiro only had one thought which he readily voiced, "Well hot-damn then."

Sarutobi began to elaborate, "Scum such as the man you disposed of last night isn't worth such an emotion Jushiro-kun, if anything I should thank you for it," A small smirk appeared on his face, "If you hadn't done what you had, I assure you he would have felt far worse in the coming days, a coward such as him did not deserve such a quick, clean death." He growled out.

'Quick… maybe, clean… not so much.' Jushiro thought as he smirked in grim satisfaction, however he relented as reality hit. "Ne, what are we going to do about Naruto though… His arm, it's gone." His dread resurfaced.

"Yes, his ambition of being a ninja of this village is all but gone," He said while looking out among his town, more specifically the Hokage Monument. "A boy with one arm cannot do much as a shinobi." He took another long exhale from his pipe.

Winry popped up, inspired and shot her grandmother a pleading look, Pinako sensing her granddaughter's intentions grew a small smirk and spoke up, "Well who says he'll only have one arm?" Noting the speed at which the Hokage turned around and Jushiro perked up she knew she had planted the seeds of Naruto's salvation.

"Y-you can actually do something about his arm?" Sarutobi said with an incredulous look on his face, "What can you do for him?"

"You obviously don't know of me so allow me to introduce myself; Pinako Rockbell, chief auto-mail engineer at your service." Pinako stated with a grin.

Sarutobi however was still confused. "Auto-mail?"

"Auto-mail is an advanced prosthetic," Winry cut in, speaking in a matter-of-factly way, "instead of a regular prosthetic limb he'll be able to have all the things he had with his real arm, and it's tougher too, I imagine that if he wants to be one of your ninja that will come in handy."

Unnoticeable to the people in the room, Sarutobi's mood lightened considerably after full comprehending what was going on, "Very well, I imagine that such a procedure is not cheap, send me a price and I will see that it is bought and paid for."

Pinako cut in, "Oh nonsense, a child such as him that has been through such a hell of a life has earned a fair shake at his dream, no charge."

At that the group left to return to the hospital to give Naruto the news.

XxX

Upon their return to Naruto's room they found that he had seemingly not moved an inch, having your dreams crushed will do that to you.

Leading the way, Sarutobi was the first to speak, "Naruto-kun, we have good news for you my boy, there is a way for you to actually get a functioning arm to replace the one you lost."

Naruto had seen regular prosthetics before, he lives in a village inhabited by ninja, people who go fight and die all the time, lost limbs were not rare. He had seen what others had as prosthetics, and while more functional than nothing, he still knew that life as a shinobi would still be non-existant, he needed an actual arm. Needless to say he was still very dejected

"Thanks Ojii-san, but a prosthetic wouldn't be enough to be a ninja, I might as well have nothing."

"What is with you people?" Winry spoke up to a surprised Naruto, who had only heard a few words of condolence from the girl earlier that day. "Auto-mail isn't some useless hunk of plastic or something, it's just as good as your real arm, if not better."

At this point Pinako and Winry sat down to explain to Naruto the concept of auto-mail, what made it special, how it worked and that it would aid him in his pursuit of being a ninja. By this time Naruto's interest had been piqued and despite the explanation of agonizing pain during the attachment process he was dead-set on the required surgery.

"… And that's pretty much it, just like your old one… well except for the metal part."

Naruto was ecstatic, "Hell yeah, sign me up!" He jumped up surprising everyone not personally acquainted with him, bounding in place from toe to toe. "This is gonna be so cool, I'll have my arm back!"

"Naruto are you sure you want this?" The Sandaime Hokage was slightly skeptical, especially after they drove home the 'agonizing pain' part.

"I already said it Ojii-san, fuck the pain."

XxX

"Fuck, the pain…" Naruto spoke in a low hoarse voice. His voice was out because for the past couple of hours Naruto had been screaming every single curse word his six-year old brain had memorized at the top of his lungs from the exact second the metal couplings were attached to his flesh.

No matter how used to it they were, Jushiro and Winry still couldn't stand listening to the screams of those undergoing surgery, no painkiller had enough power to ebb the pain. The fact that the surgery was being done to the loudest kid in the entire village didn't help lower the sound decibels any.

"What part of 'it's gonna hurt' didn't you understand kid?" Jushiro smirked at the exhausted boy. "I thought you were tougher than that, haha, 'owww, noooo, damn you guys, fuck this, owww' you sounded like a total loser kid."

"Fuck you… you evil… sadistic… dark-magic ass… ugh"

"Oooh, good comeback kid, if you fight as well as you throw insults then you won't even be able to be a genin."

"Kiss my ass Jushiro…"

"Yeah… you actually are tough though, that auto-mail attachment surgery is pure torture, you don't need to feel bad at all for yelling, I've seen grown men cry from that shit Naruto, it's no joke."

Feeling a little physically better he sat up, prepared to ask a few questions. "Ano, Jushiro, why did you save me the other night…" looking down he continued, "Most people ignore me or try to hurt me, you don't even know me, none of you do, so… I just wanted to know why you all helped me."

Jushiro looked at the child in near disbelief, "Kid… you're a kid, people shouldn't do stuff like that to kids, hell they shouldn't do it to anyone." Sadness began to build in the red-eyed youth as he looked upon his younger counterpart. 'No one should ever have to just rely on themselves, but he thinks he can only count on himself.'

Planting a hand on Naruto's shoulder he gave him a big grin, "Aww hell with it little buddy, you're welcome, it's no big deal, I'd have felt bad not helping you." As Naruto gave him a genuine smile back he turned to leave.

"Alright you little squirt, get some rest, hopefully when I come back you'll be able to form coherent sentences." Jushiro said as he left the room.

'Don't worry Naruto, I have a plan, you won't be all alone anymore after this, I promise.'

XxX

Hiruzen Sarutobi had never lost a battle; the Sandaime Hokage had defeated every enemy he had ever faced in his entire career. He had survived encounters with every enemy imaginable, however the only foe he could not defeat was the same foe he was obligated to see for the rest of his tenure as Hokage. That damn paperwork, the scourge of every powerful man in world history. He would take a reprieve from this torture anyway he could get it.

"Old man I've got some business with you!"

Was his only warning before his office door was kicked wide open by Jushiro, strolling in all his glory right up to the front of his desk. Eye contact followed by a lengthy silence followed soon thereafter. However Sarutobi smirked, as he already had a good idea about what this was about.

"Why sure Jushiro-kun, have a seat, we have much to discuss." The sour look on Jushiro's face he had upon entering had dissipated after seeing the knowing look on Sarutobi's face. Needless to say, Jushiro, eager to get business done took the old man's advice and sat down.

"Okay old man… You have my undivided attention, let's chit-chat, and sugar coat nothing, I need to know whatever you can tell me." Jushiro said.

Sarutobi's smirk grew to a full-blow grin at this point, "Why Jushiro-kun, whatever do you mean?"

Jushiro sighed, eyes narrowing, "You know what I mean, tell me about Naruto."

XxX

The next few days were Naruto staying with the Rockbells and Jushiro in their hotel rooms getting his new arm situated, learning how keep maintenance, getting some clothes to replace his old clothes, just trying to keep the kid comfortable and make him feel normal. One of these days while sitting with Winry and Naruto, Jushiro took the time to actually get to know the little blonde boy better. "So, Naruto… Tell me… Why do you want to be a ninja, I mean you're a tough little punk and everything, but that path is no joke, you need to be serious."

Naruto looked at the older boy, eyebrow raised, "Hey Jushiro, I can be serious, but what fun is that." He began smirking, "Yeah, it's gonna be tough, I'll need to get serious, so what's wrong with having fun now while I can?" Shifting topics he continued, "Hey Jushiro, why are you so strong, I mean you told me what you did that night and it's kind of hard to believe, you're barely older than me?"

Jushiro pondered for a moment before answering, "Well, I have to carry tons of heavy crap for old lady Pinako and Winry-chan, in other words I'm pack-mule status… So naturally I got faster and stronger doing that bullshit all damn day every day." Winry proceeded to crack Jushiro in the head, "Language Jushiro! Naruto-kun doesn't need to pick your nasty cursing habit!"

"Dammit Winry, what the hell?" He said while rubbing his head and sitting back up. "I think I have a right to speak as I choose, if the kid is smart he won't start but if he does, who cares? The world needs more people willing to speak up."

Before Winry could respond to Jushiro's retort, their attention was diverted by Naruto, howling with laughter on the bed, "Damn Jushiro, I can't believe you let Winry wail on you like that, she's just a girl man." Before continuing to laugh.

"Naruto-kun," Winry said in a deceptively sweet voice, "What do you mean by all of that?"

Naruto, unaware of the danger he had unintentionally placed himself in eloquently elaborated, "Oh, I meant it's funny, 'cause your just a girl, and look at Shiro over there, he's ripped, he's basically a brick-shit-house."

WHAP!

Winry once again spoke in a sweet tone of voice, "Naruto-kun please don't use language like that, I can take that arm of yours back after all, you don't want that do you?" Forcing Naruto to perk up out of fear of the young blond girl, 'oh Kami, I need to apologize to Jushiro, Winry-chan is scary when she's upset,' "G-g-gomen, sorry Winry-chan, it won't happen again."

Her mood instantly perked up, "That's okay Naruto-kun, you're just a little kid," Her mood then darkened, switching her ire to Jushiro, "Unlike Jushiro over here, he actually knows better than to speak like that and he still does it anyway." Mood swinging again she switched topics, "Okay I've had enough of this room, I'm going outside, see you guys."

Waiting until they knew Winry was a good distance away from the room both boys let go of their breaths, Naruto spoke first, "Kami, I'm sorry Jushiro, getting beat up by Winry is no joke, gomen Jushiro." Jushiro's ever-present smirk returned in response, "Yeah kid, don't mess around with girls that are that violent, a hair-trigger response time to stupidity means you need to walk around on eggshells my man, especially if you have a problem watching your words like myself."

"Hey Shiro," Naruto asked. "Yeah kid?" Jushiro responded, "I just felt like I had to say… Thanks, for saving me… For everything."

"No problem Naruto, happy to help" He said while smiling. "A real man of honor like myself has got to protect those in need, it's a part of my code of conduct." This forced a puzzled look from Naruto, "Code of conduct?" Grinning wildly now, Jushiro threw Naruto a scroll before reclining back and took out his familiar orange book, waiting on Naruto's reaction.

The paper read:

_Jushiro Moyomoto's Code of Greatness_

_Protect those around you: Strength and power is useless unless it is used to help those that cannot help themselves, bullies are scum, grow strong not for yourself, but for those you care for, and never stop reaching out to those around you ,even if they are your enemy, remember an enemy is just a friend you don't know that well._

_Regret nothing, fear less: Regrets and fears are worthless, regretting what has already happened is a waste of time and emotions, as long as you are still alive you can move forward, looking back in anger or sadness is a good way to miss the future. Fear is even more useless; every single thing the gods have ever created has been mortal, or had a weakness; in battle you must never fear your foe, if it can bleed, feel pain, hell, if you can make it fear you instead then it isn't worth your own, after all, even if you do actually lose, death is only the beginning._

_Crash course in Douchebags: There is no set definition for a douchebag, however general qualifications are: shitty attitude, ever present sneer or scowl, air of superiority, and the worst possible trait; a popped collar. If you ever come across one of these narcissistic assholes then all you can do is stay away and try not to be infected with his douchebagocity. Do not try to outdo a douchebag for even if you are victorious he will only make excuses, whine, or try to escalate your conflict to staggering levels, on the flip side, losing in ANYTHING to a d-bag will result in him never letting you hear the end of it which for some is a fate worse than death, a flee-on-sight recommendation is the preferred method for dealing with them, it's a lose-lose situation across the board… SERIOUSLY!_

_Introduce yourself: Whenever introductions are made the first impression forms the most lasting opinion a person can have of you, whatever you want people to think of you, act like it, however, if you are not a bitch-ass excuse for a neutered man you should just act like yourself. If a person doesn't like you for you then fuck them, a billion damn people in the world, not everyone has to like you, however respect is a different story altogether. _

_Respect is earned: Respect is truly earned, not given, not inherited. If someone has not given you a reason to respect them then you really don't have to, even if they are of high status, seriously, what are they going to do kill you… well even if they do don't fear, remember: we are all going to die and very little of what we do really actually matters. To get respect, stick to your morals, be kind, courteous, yet stern at times and don't take anyone's bullshit, even if it doesn't get you the desired effect right of the bat keep at it, it could take a time-span of weeks to fucking years but stick to your guns and you will get what you've earned._

_Nicknames: Do not hesitate to nickname anyone you meet, anyone at all. If you are like me, then you are borderline retarded when it comes to names and faces, placing a face with a name of your own creation based on slight observation of the people around you is the greatest way to keep important people in your head, endear yourself to the nicer ones, and utterly goad the not so nice ones into acting the ass in front of people, remember, be brutally honest but not overly so, no one likes taking an asswhooping in public._

_No mercy for the merciless: Being benevolent in victory is just fine, it's great; you kick a little ass, show off a bit, and you and your opponent can all go home and maybe get a few chuckles off of it later. But there is a distinct discrepancy between mercy in combat and just flat out being a pussy, if the guy you just laid out like a nasty-ass rug was just five-seconds ago trying to separate your head from your shoulders then fuck that guy, he better hope that hell has a pool because that motherfucker is too dangerous to be left alive. If he doesn't take you out in the future then he'll be more than willing to harm someone close to you just for shits and giggles; When a situation such as that truly comes into perspective then fuck 'em, they're expendable._

_Never let 'em see you sweat: People are the ultimate unknown, they can show you the sweetest side you'll ever want to see, or they can be the arch-bastard of arch-bastards; people delight in seeing others down and out, and they are sure as hell not above kicking a guy when he's down. If you want to believe that people can truly change then be my guest, but my advice would be to keep one eye open, just like respect, trust is earned not given. Oh you CAN trust a total stranger, but more or likely that shit will get you blindsided by some fucked up shit that you never saw coming. To remedy this, never show pain, never show fear, never show sadness, anger, fatigue, dopey, grumpy, hell all of Snow White's damn dwarves, don't do it. If a guy punches you dead in the jaw or cuts you, don't reach for the wound, that just says, "Hey, that hurt, you got me good, better come on in while I'm still hurt." That is a requiem for an ass-kicking, show nothing; get up, dust yourself off and give that loser a look that says, "What that's all you got, fucking pussy." A good poker face can save you a lot of anguish, physical or otherwise. _

_Chivalry is not dead: Show members of the opposite sex your utmost respect, the reason that this isn't higher is probably because it is so damn basic. Not only will having respect for the females that you will choose to surround yourself with eventually see you more than likely winding up in an actual relationship with one of them, it will also help you when the time comes to block some kind of bullshit rumor, or maybe that it might just make you look cooler, if those don't work for you then how about you just do it because having a lack of chivalry will send you down the bunny hill leading to the slippery slope of douchebaggery, need I continue? Didn't think so._

_Don't be a robot: Just because someone says something does not necessarily make it true. Hell I could say aliens exist and have been living among us for years, crazy? Hell yes, but whether or not it is an opinion, nothing more nothing less, you are entitled to them as is everyone else, some of the things I say may not make sense to you, some of the things I say may not apply to you, take it how you will. The important thing to remember is to march to the beat of your own drum; different, weird, odd, strange, all of these things don't mean better or worse, they just mean different. So do your own thing, don't follow blindly, if anything you lead, because people only remember number one, two is not a winner, and three nobody remembers._

Upon finishing the scroll he looked back at Jushiro who was still reading his book. Jushiro hadn't stirred, he hadn't spoken, looked up, hell he hadn't sneezed. "Hey Jushiro, is this for real?" Looking up from his book he answered the young man, "Every word, it's truly my code, I follow it to the letter, ever wonder why I'm so kind to Winry-chan and Pinako?" Naruto shook his head 'no.' "I've pretty much been the Rockbell family pack-mule for years now kid, I don't do it for the money, the extra metal to work with, hell I don't do it because they let me stay with them, I do it because it's the right thing to do." Naruto nodded in understanding, "When I started helping them I was just wandering through the countryside when I came to their town and saw Winry-chan having some trouble with some supplies one day, I helped her, and one thing led to another as I ended up as their assistant for going on two years now, they gave me a place to stay eventually out of gratitude, and far be it from me to turn down a warm bed. One night turned to one week turned to a month, I just didn't leave."

Naruto nodded again in understanding before asking a question, "Hey Shiro you said something about metal, why would you need metal?" Jushiro gave a big grin prior to answering the question, "Well little buddy you are looking at the future 'Greatest Blacksmith of All Time,' Pinako let me use some of the scraps she had left over from designing her auto-mail, I make everything we use, from the tools they keep to the knife in my boot; I have to say, I'm not one for tooting my own horn but I have to say that I think I'm pretty damn good, a regular bonafide prodigy at this crazy trade-o-mine." He said in the humblest way possible, which meant it was a brash statement.

"Um… Okay, sure… Let's go with that then, 'cause now you my friend are looking at the future 'Greatest Hokage of All Time,'" Naruto started, now standing, "yes siree, even with a false auto-mail arm I will still take Jiji's damn hat one day." Naruto stated proudly "Hell, with this upgraded bad boy right here who knows how easy it will be."

Jushiro and Naruto stared at one another for a few moments before breaking into raucous laughter, "Ah hah, kid with that attitude, I have no doubt you'll run this place one day." Jushiro stated with a firm smile on his face, not a smirk, not a brash grin, a genuine smile. "You too Jushiro, hey, maybe you'll end up being my blacksmith, I'd better get a discount on my wares." Naruto said before they both broke into laughter once more. The two boys continued to talk into the night, as Jushiro told Naruto how he lived before meeting the Rockbells, Naruto told him about how he had spent his life in Konoha. By the end of the night both boys had found a kindred spirit in the other, comparing stories, trials and tribulations, likes and dislikes and they had found that they had truly enjoyed the other's company.

XxX

Days went by and eventually they had to leave the city, they had prolonged their departure in an effort to keep the young blond company as long as he could until finally the day had come where they had to exit the city gates to return to Resembool. And so Pinako and Winry were sitting by the front gate waiting not only on Naruto and the Sandaime Hokage to say goodbye, but on the third member of their party, young Jushiro.

Waiting for as long as she could remember, Winry let out a sigh, "Where in the name of Kami is Jushiro?" She asked her grandmother, "We can't really wait all day, we need to get going while there is still enough light to reach the next town."

Pinako took a toke from her pipe, "I'm sure what he's doing is important, calm down girl he'll be here soon." Winry sighed again, "I hope so Grandma, because any longer and I'm gonna…"

"HEY! WINRY-CHAN! PINAKO-BAA-SAN!" Turning towards the offending noise they saw Naruto running towards the gate. His appearance changed since the night of his attack, He now wore a long sleeve orange shirt with a spiral on the front, he also wore blue shorts, and to go along with it he had his right arm wrapped up in order to hide his new auto-mail, still feeling shame over the loss of his arm. Eventually the blonde ball of energy came to a stop in front of his new friends. "So you guys are leaving today?" He said in a saddened tone, "I'm gonna miss you guys, but you have your own lives to live and get back to, just… keep in touch okay?"

Winry knelt down to the boy with a soft look on her face, "Of course Naruto-kun, don't you worry, I'll write all the time, and we'll come visit you." She stopped to ruffle his hair and then continued, "And you better take care of your auto-mail, it's very expensive you know."

Naruto quickly put a grin on his whiskered features in order to respond to the girl, "You know it Winry-chan, I would never let this awesome present get destroyed, and I'll write you guys when I need upgrades, maybe next time I'll have money to pay you with." This got a laugh out of Winry and a chuckle out of Pinako.

"Well it looks like everyone is here." At the turn of their heads they saw Sarutobi with Jushiro in tow with smiles on their faces. "Pinako, I hope you have everything you need for your journey back to your village." Pinako moved forward to speak, yes we are just about ready to go now. Sarutobi made a motion as if to stop them from further loading the wagon before stating his intent, "There's no need for you to continue this yourselves, I have commissioned a genin team to help you with your wares and to escort you back to Resembool.

Pinako put a smirk on her features, "What? Jushiro been complaining again about dragging the cart home, for shame my boy, a blacksmith must have more salt than that." By now Winry had joined in on poking fun at the white haired youth.

Jushiro had a sheepish look on his face while taking his lambasting from Pinako, "Well you see… About that old lady… I won't be returning home with you guys, hehe." Winry had a stunned look on her face, Pinako was so shocked she dropped her pipe, sensing the confusion in the air Jushiro tried to press the silence by continuing his reasoning, "I just thought that someone here had to take some initiative and try to take care of the brat, and since we can't take him with us I decided that I should stay with him, it's totally cool though, the old Kage here thought it was a great idea and with a few concessions for both Naruto and myself, boom, bam, I am now a full fledged citizen of Konohagakure, hold your applause please."

Pinako looked at the boy with a look of appeal, she also thought that Naruto needed someone to keep him alive; however she was too old to defend him and when the chips were down she knew Winry could not keep him safe for long; Jushiro was young, and had proven that not only could he easily dispatch bandits, he rather liked this as it was his only break from dragging carts while on their trips, he also swiftly put an end to the life of a chunin-level shinobi on the night of Naruto's attack showing that he could hold off decently powerful foes if given a chance. "Well Jushiro, I guess you finally got yourself out of pack-mule duty once and for all huh?" Jushiro just shrugged at the jab. Winry was getting misty-eyed when she chose to speak up herself, "Heh, you always said you'd get out of Resembool and do something cool, I can't think of anything cooler than taking care of Naruto, are you sure you two will be okay?" Jushiro walked up to Winry, "Ha I don't see anything cool about this, it's just against my code to leave him alone, helping him is in my nature, and about taking care of him, I took care of myself, Naruto's been taking care of himself, I'm pretty damn sure that he and I will be a-ok, so don't fret Winry-chan, but you still better visit us ok?" Winry nodded, not quite trusting her voice and gave Jushiro a big hug, "Take care of yourself you dummy and keep Naruto-kun safe ok?"

The two groups said their goodbyes with Naruto and Winry getting teary although this heartwarming scene soon degenerated as Jushiro thought it to be a good idea to make fun of the two blondes while they were saying goodbye. Needless to say Jushiro showed that even in the face of an emotional departure he could still goad a girl into giving him a tremendous beat-down much to the amusement of all in attendance.

After seeing the Rockbells and their escorts off the Hokage and Jushiro had one more surprise for Naruto, "Well now that goodbyes are done I must be on my way boys, Jushiro take Naruto home to get yourself situated." Naruto, not exactly the sharpest knife in any drawer by any means, was confused by this statement, "Nani? Jiji what are you talking about?" He said while shaking his head between the two, "Jushiro isn't going to live in the orphanage is he?" Then he started to panic, "Oh no! They kicked me out! They kicked me out! I won't be with Jushiro-nii-san!"

Jushiro and the old man began to chuckle before Jushiro spoke up, "Runt I'm not going to that damn place, and neither are you… did you just call me nii-san?"

Naruto gave him a straight look, "Well yeah Shiro-nii-san, you're the only person to really be this nice to me… ever… why wouldn't I?" Jushiro just smiled at his little brother before he responded, "Well don't you worry about that one bit, because the old man sprung for an apartment for the both of us, pretty boss huh?" Naruto nodded his head quickly before smiling at the old man, "Thanks Jiji, really." Sarutobi just smiled before body flickering off to do Hokage stuff.

Smiling down at his new sibling, Jushiro said the words that would forever be stuck in Naruto's head, a warm reminder that no matter how the village treated him, no matter how downtrodden life made him, he always had at least one person who would always be there for him, "Come on, let's go home… otouto."

**Well, the auto-mail is in, so I handled that, there were probably hundreds of different ways to set that up, but I was kind of high while writing chapter 1 so I just took the good ole' 'let Naruto get his ass kicked half to death' approach to get there. Alchemy will come into play sooner rather than later, and while I will throw a few fight scenes in between now and when the canon actually starts, which shouldn't take too long (I need to set up the story dammit), it will be sparse in comparison to when the story actually gets rolling. Like I said earlier it's not really a NarutoxFull Metal Alchemist crossover, it'll just have some FMA elements involved, hell I might just have Naruto end up dressing like Ed just for the hell of it, DO SOMETHIN'!**

**Just kiddin' (Seriously though if you can find me you can try to fight me, I've been so pissed off lately I would actually welcome a scrap)**

**Jushiro's code is actually my code, I hate douchebags with a fiery passion, so prepare to see this word often used to describe Naruto characters who have displayed many of these traits, you can guess that one guy will get f'n blasted when he finally gets introduced as he displayes every last trait of douchebaggery I listed, hell he even fits the description of what they do in the situations I described. (Guess who it is so I can get my 7 chuckles off of that)**

**As always read up my children, questions or comments welcome, review… or not… I don't really G.A.F., do what ya feel and feel what ya do, until next time true believers and spidey fans alike!**

**P.S. I used a shit load of pop culture references in certain spots in this chapter. Might be subtle, might not, either way I'm gonna keep doing it cuz I find it fucking hilarious.**


	3. A Thin Line Between Insanity & Brillianc

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did then you'd be seeing some f'n cars driving around the Elemental Countries, because that's how I roll… literally. Also if I did do you really think I'd be writing on this site? No… I'd be ripping off good ass ideas to use in the manga, I mean who are they gonna believe, you or the motherfucker writing for a multimillion-dollar corporation, because we all know the name of the game my friends, it's not what you know it's who you know… The system's a bitch!

**Chapter 3. A Thin Line Between Insanity and Brilliance**

About four months after Naruto's attack that cost him his arm, life in Konohagakure had gotten a tiny bit better for the blonde demon-carrier. Oh he still got the sour looks and nasty treatment he got prior to Jushiro living with him, but at least now the attacks ceased… for the most part. The reason for this was that Jushiro, upon his first week had taken a page out of the book of 'prison law.' In an effort to immediately divert attacks from Naruto he and Naruto walked through the city every day while he had his new little brother point out the most common offender to his peace so that Jushiro could dispose of him quickly.

_Flashback (2 weeks after Naruto's attack, 3months ago)_

"_Umm, that's him nii-san," Naruto pointed to rather portly middle age man with brown hair and beady black eyes. "This mug is the ring-leader of the people beating you otouto?" Jushiro looked on, just wondering what he was going to do to embarrass this man. _

"_Yeah Shiro that's him." Now usually Naruto really never cared to remember the faces of his attackers, seeing as how nothing ever got done about the beatings and more pressing issues usually ran through his head during those times, namely surviving. Except in this instance Naruto remembered this man as this was the man who's knee had been injured when Naruto began defending himself that night, however the man could not take a hint and was more dedicated to ridding his village of the 'demon' following that night than he had been before._

_Jushiro's eyes narrowed as he began walking towards the man, "Stay back Naruto, don't need you getting hurt while this goes down ok?" Naruto nodded and lagged behind, heart fluttering as his nerves began to show. Jushiro had decided to take the subtle approach to beginning a conflict, walking through a crowded street, making his way towards the man, as he moved to pass him he left his leg out while man walked past, resulting in a horrible fall._

"_Gah! What the hell is wrong with you brat!" The man shouted out. Jushiro turned around with his signature smirk in place, "Oh yeah, I guess I'm not really used to these big city streets yet, but hey, you're fine, I'm fine, it's all copacetic!" The man stood back up to get in Jushiro's face to intimidate him, "Oh really, well maybe I need to teach the little hick over here some city etiquette, around here we apologize, what? People don't have courtesy for others in Jackfuck-istan or wherever the hell you're from?" Jushiro's features became hardened a this point, "No, I just don't have any for guys like you, beating up little kids." The man looked incredibly offended and angry, "What the hell are spouting now punk? What kid?"_

"_NARUTO UZUMAKI YOU PIECE OF SHIT, YOU AND 30 OTHERS LIKE YOU TOOK SOMETHING PRECIOUS FROM HIM!" Jushiro finally exploded before calming down slightly and continuing, "And now if you want to mess with him, you have to deal with me… That's it, no more words, no more talk, I'm gonna make an example out of you right now." The man snapped at this point, 'Why is this brat defending that damn demon? Fine, if this little hick has a death wish the n I guess I'll just teach him a lesson.' "You demon lover I'll kill you myself!" At this the man charged Jushiro whom had at this point turned his smirk into a full cheshire grin before taking a stance._

_His stance consisted of a high muay thai stance, left knee bobbing, fists set out ahead. Now Jushiro's mirth was not because he was about to fight, though that was a plus, no it was because this guy thought it to be a good idea to charge him head-on. Jushiro may be nine-years old, but having been dragging heavy carts and lifting and hauling heavy metals for the better part of at least two years he was not by anyone's standards a weak person. When the man got in Jushiro's range he first delivered a jumping knee strike to the man's head sending him stumbling backwards, rushing in, Jushiro pressed his opening by jabbing up the head and body of his assailant until he had regained his bearings. The man chose to grab the white-haired boy and throw him against the wall before a straight kick to the sternum stopped his momentum with a grunt, signifying air leaving his body. The end came when Jushiro clinched his hands around the man's neck, forcing his head into a pocket, with a series of simple twists and jerks the man's body was at his will as he battered his face and skull with vicious rising knees until his legs gave out from under him._

_After K.O.'ing the man, Jushiro simply walked back to Naruto, took his hand, and walked him through the crowd and past the fallen man, showing the people if you mess with Naruto then you'll have a real issue to take care of. Naruto was floored by the efficient brutality of his nii-san, it wasn't extremely flashy but damn if it didn't get the job done. 'If I could fight like that then I'd have a serious advantage over a lot of people.' "Nii-san! That was awesome! You've got to teach me how to do that, it was amazing, that guy was like twice your size!" Patting Naruto on his head he chuckled, "Kid that was just a civilian, he had no skill in combat, an academy student could've beaten him up, but you have a point though, I have to train you, someone does after all."_

(Flashback End)

And so Jushiro decide to teach Naruto the basics of muay thai kickboxing, nothing too advanced, Naruto wasn't nearly strong enough for the clinching techniques yet. He did however learn the eight points of contact theory, taught him good form, and gave him technique and a few combinations. The reason for the crash course on the basics was because he learned that Naruto had absolutely no talent in hand-to-hand combat.

After their first session in the back of their apartment Jushiro palmed his own forehead in disbelief, "Naruto I thought that you got attacked all the time."

Naruto, bruised up from his particularly brutal spar with his new brother looked up from the ground at him, "I did nii-san, it happened all the time!"

Jushiro sweat-dropped at this discovery, 'How in the world has he survived so long fighting as poorly as he does, kuso… this is going to be a pain.' "Alright kid I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for you… you suck… you really, really suck, you take more shots than you give and that's a bad thing no matter what."

Jushiro had restrained himself while sparring with Naruto, even when he took to swinging his auto-mail arm, his trump in a fist-fight, the punches and kicks were so telegraphed that Jushiro had to hold back from throwing out a kill-shot counter. Naruto was confused by this however, "Huh? What do you mean nii-san, I put all my power in my attacks."

Jushiro walked over sat next to his brother, "That's one of your problems, power in your shots are good and all, but right now you should be focusing on making contact and hitting fast, you can't knock someone like me out at your level so you should focus on technique right now. You're a natural hothead, so getting the technique down should help you keep focus, not just during a fight but in other parts of life too." Naruto was about to retort when Jushiro cut him off, "Stop… Right there, you were just about to talk shit weren't you? You see, you're a hothead! You can't even take constructive criticism."

"Gomen, I just hate being looked down on Shiro-nii-san… But you're the one teaching me, so whatever you say."

Standing up to walk away Jushiro turned to speak, "That's another thing, when we train don't think of me as your brother, I'm your sensei, don't call me nii-san out here, call me big boss, you do that until you can beat me alright?"

Jumping up to salute him Naruto answered, "Hai Big Boss!"

Smiling as he walked away Jushiro waved back at his brother, 'Alright that was hilarious, now what does the old man want now, hope I'm not busted for something.'

XxX

Jushiro had been summoned to the Hokage tower earlier that day, however being how he was a civilian he really didn't care about punctuality. Strolling up to the door again he smiled and gave a two-fingered salute to the secretary he strolled past the first time he appeared in the tower, she simply smiled back and let him enter. Kicking the door open once more he simply ignored the look on Sarutobi's face as he took a seat. "What's up old man, you called for me?"

"Yes, I did… Six hours ago…" Sarutobi said while glaring at Jushiro.

He simply shrugged saying, "Well, I thought I'd switch it up a bit, keep those brittle old bones of yours on your toes, make sure you don't get complacent." A sheepish grin found its way upon his face after that statement.

Sarutobi gave him a dry look, "Quite… well the reason I asked you here today is so that we can get to the bottom of a few things."

Now Jushiro has a very good poker face, his skill to bluff by keeping a straight face even in uncomfortable situations is an impressive trait, even so, he had been fearing the repercussions of his foot-to-ass reprimanding of the middle-age man for weeks now, "Well, let's get to it then sir." 'Damn it! I knew that fight was a bad idea, these old geezers stick together, oh I'm gonna be playing bass in hell!'

Sensing his compliancy, Sarutobi continued, "Well we know next to nothing about you except that you can fight and that Naruto likes you, as fine and good as that is we need to know more about you if we can let you stay here."

Jushiro's features by this point had finally shown his nerves at the situation in front of him, "Well, alright… I guess that's fair, I mean I could be a spy, I understand; well sit back and get comfortable because this could take a while." Taking the look on the old man's face and the pace at which he was smoking as a sign to proceed he began. "Well I was born quite a-ways away from this place, I used to live outside of the capitol of the Land of Fire, my dad was one of the elite guards of the daimyo so he had a good little bit of property outside of the city; he and my mom lived there until…" He trailed off, not really trusting himself to keep speaking.

"Jushiro it is quite alright, you don't really have to continue." Sarutobi tried to reason.

"No, no, it's alright… I haven't told anyone what really happened, no one knows this stuff, it feels… good to tell someone about it." He took a deep breath before resuming the story. "Well… One day I was outside while my mom was gardening, we weren't doing anything, she just liked being outside." He smiled for a second before his features hardened over. "I saw my dad run out to meet my mother, they were too far away, so I couldn't hear them, but the look on their faces, it was like someone had drained them of their blood. They took me inside, and we didn't leave for days." He shifted before continuing, "None of us went outside, but my dad, he was always at his desk in the basement, just reading, writing, he barely ate, slept… just worked. They were so paranoid, they were so scared and I didn't know why until it was too late.

Sarutobi moved from behind his desk, his curiosity was piqued, "Then what Jushiro, please continue."

Jushiro nodded, "A strange man showed up on day, my mom just hurried me into my room and told me to stay there. I thought it was a joke, I didn't know so I left while they were speaking, and listened in. It was some small talk until the man said something that upset my dad, and then it all went to hell."

"Jushiro-kun what did he say?" By now he had suspicions on just who exactly it was but he needed to hear the rest.

"I couldn't make out the conversation, it was a lot of big words that I didn't understand, but I did understand one thing he said, right before the shit hit the fan…"

"Immortality"

Now if Sarutobi had his suspicions beforehand then he had the answer screaming in his head and he beckoned Jushiro to keep going. "My dad pulled his sword out, started swinging, but the guy just kept slipping right out of the path. He just laughed and kicked my dad, he kicked him so hard he flew out the front door and the guy just kept coming at him. My mom ran to the basement and started gathering up all of dad's stuff and sealed it. She picked me up and ran outside to see my dad just getting beaten down by him, it was terrible, but my dad just yelled, 'get Jushiro out of here, go now!' And we just ran, ran and ran, and then mom stopped. She scribbled out a note and said to open it much later, she told me to stay safe and just hide… That she'd be right back, and then she just started running back to the house."

A tear slipped from Jushiro's eye as he picked up, "I hid, I hid so long that I fell asleep. I got so sick of waiting, I went home, I just wanted to see my parents, go inside, to just be there. But when I made it back I-I-I saw my house, or should I say the foundation, it was totally destroyed, I didn't see my parents, I didn't see anything. So I just ran, ran again, I just kept moving, I ran, walked, swam, just tried to get as far away as I could, eventually I ended up in Resembool, and I ended up staying with the Rockbells for two years, then we took that trip here and bam."

Sarutobi had a few more questions for the boy, "Jushiro… who was it that did this, do you remember what he looks like?"

Jushiro gave the Sandaime a hard look, "I'll give you one better old man, his name is Orochimaru."

Sarutobi was shocked, "Jushiro do you know who that is? That's..."

"Yeah I know who he is, I knew he had to be pretty damn strong to kick my dad's ass like that but I learned his name from my mom's note, one of the things it said was 'beware Orochimaru,' among other things."

Sarutobi had to ask, "How do you know who he is?"

Jushiro snorted, "You kidding? My dad was a bodyguard of the daimyo, it would have negligence if he didn't know a dangerous motherfucker like that. My mom knew too, and it was all in her note."

Sarutobi blinked, "Jushiro-kun you never said what was in the note."

He smirked lightly, "Oh yeah I didn't did I? Well it was pretty much a goodbye note, but it had quite a few instructions for me, like instructions for me, an idea of what was going on, and an explanation of what was in my dad's notes that she sealed."

Sarutobi took on a look as he took a puff of his pipe, "Yes, but what did your father have that was so important?"

Jushiro stood up, "Well my dad was an elite guard, but what made him really top-notch wasn't actually his fighting, you see he specialized in science."

"Science?" Sarutobi said in a disbelieving fashion.

Jushiro sighed, he hated explaining this to people, "Not just some old garden variety stuff like physics or something, this was huge. Have you ever heard of alchemy?"

"What?" Sarutobi said before choking, "Alchemy *cough cough*, the old science of making gold?"

Jushiro got a little chuckle off of that, "Close old man, alchemy is breaking down the matter of things to their base elements and rebuilding them, usually in a different form, I learned it all from my dad's notes, mom sealed everything, from his first notes to theory he was working on before he died."

'Hmm, I assume that was why Orochimaru killed him' "Well Jushiro-kun, could you tell me about that theory, and prove that this 'alchemy' you speak of is real?"

Again Jushiro chuckled as he walked over to the desk, placing his hand behind a clock on the table, "Whoops..." He said before knocking it to the floor and stomping on it, shattering it. Noting Sarutobi's increasingly angered look he decided to get on with it. "Calm down, calm down, check it out…" He drew what looked to Sarutobi like a seal however it was far more intricate, and then set all pieces of the clock in the circle. "Check it out old man, you're gonna crap your pants after this." Placing his hands on the edge of the circle, light began generating and flashing until it settled; the seal was gone and the clock was fixed.

Sarutobi stood with his mouth wide open staring in disbelief. Jushiro just placed the clock back on the desk and walked back to the couch. "I'm still working on new ways to set up my transmutation circles because as you can imagine drawing these bitches is a pain in the ass, and sorry I really can't tell you what my dad's notes say." Before Sarutobi could open his mouth to respond Jushiro continued, "I'm sorry, yes you are the Hokage but this is out of your jurisdiction, being in this village I've seen all of those clan families and I'm pretty damn sure that they all have secrets so I guess I'll have mine too. I just don't trust you enough to let you know about this stuff."

Sighing in defeat, Sarutobi smirked as he remembered the real reason he had summoned Jushiro to his office this day. "Well, now that that business is handled I guess I have to let you in on the first of my terms for you and Naruto." Jushiro looked at him inquisitively as Sarutobi continued, "Remember how I said both you and Naruto were going to get an education?"

Jushiro's eyes narrowed "I don't think I like the way that sounds too much."

Sarutobi waved off Jushiro's suspicion, "Nonsense Jushiro, this is what Naruto will have to do if he wants to start being a ninja, and you… well while you are a little old for a beginners class I don't think you really need the classes like that, I think I'll just put you in the class for kids your age."

"Dammit Sarutobi you'd better be kidding, I don't want to be a friggin ninja and I sure as hell don't want to go to school, let the brat go." Jushiro fumed.

The old man took a puff from his pipe, "No Jushiro-kun, I believe you might enjoy it, and besides you need to meet some children like you and Naruto."

Jushiro gave him a hard look, "I don't think we'll ever meet any kids like Naruto and myself, if he wants to do it he can but I'd rather do other things, you know like be a damn blacksmith, I need to find one around here so that I can work for him…"

Sarutobi continued to reason with him, "Jushiro I can find ways for you to get your experience in a smithy, I would really like you to become a Konoha shinobi, I believe you can be an asset, and with you helping Naruto out then that will give him a better chance of succeeding in the end, what do you say?"

"Fine! Damn! I'll be a fucking academy student, but I'm not taking any bullcrap, and he's not jumping in until next semester... I need to make sure he doesn't get screwed over by his lack of basic knowledge, I'll tutor him my damn self until next semester with the stuff I learn in class myself." Sarutobi quickly agreed knowing things about Naruto that Jushiro and Naruto himself didn't know, namely a gigantic demon fox sealed in his stomach.

"Right on, I'll get cracking on that tomorrow! See you old man!" Jushiro said while walking out of his office.

'Good luck Jushiro, I hope you and Naruto are ready for this.'

XxX

After returning to the apartment and grabbing Naruto they left to get dinner, and this is where we find our two protagonists now. Jushiro often let Naruto pick, and over the last few months he learned that the young blonde was utterly obsessed with ramen, a fixation that neither Jushiro could understand nor could Naruto explain, when asked soon after they began living together Naruto's response was, 'I don't know… it's just good.'

"Kid we can't eat this every damn night, it cannot be good for you." Jushiro said as Naruto had just finished another bowl. "Aww come on nii-san it's so good"

"Dammit kid seriously this is too much, come on you guys you've got to help me out here, talk to the brat here." Jushiro said gesturing to Teuchi and Ayame.

"I don't know Jushiro-kun, if this is what Naruto-kun wants to eat you should let him." Ayame said.

"Pfft, yeah sure I mean it's not like he's eating at your stand or anything right?" That earned him a glare from Ayame and Teuchi as he continued, "For Kami's sake you guys if this is all he has then his height won't top out over 5'6."

This got Naruto's attention, "No way Shiro, ramen is so good, I'll eat it every day I can!"

Jushiro just stared before speaking to the Ichirakus, "What the hell did you guys do to him when he first came here? Did you slip some heroin in the broth or something, because I swear that this cannot be natural!"

After the meal Jushiro chose to speak about his meeting with the Sandaime Hokage that day, "You know you're going to school next semester right?"

Naruto snapped to attention on his stool, "Nani? Me? Really?"

Jushiro picked his teeth while speaking, "Yeah, but I've got to make sure you actually know something about anything before you start because, and I'm sure these guys will agree, you're a dumbass."

Teuchi and Ayame were nodding at Jushiro's accurate statement while Naruto was just too happy to care, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna be a ninja. Yeah, hot damn!"

XxX

Jushiro was pissed, very pissed. His day at the academy was nothing short of a mind numbing experience. He went expecting to learn infiltration, and better combat skills than he had, this was not what had occurred. The majority of the day was spent inside, and when he had asked an instructor exactly what students of every year would be learning he came to a realization; he had a year of in-class learning before he ever really got to use practical skills, and poor Naruto had 5 years of almost no practical application, all the things Jushiro would teach him and he would have almost no outlet.

Kicking the door of the apartment open after school he was greeted by Naruto, "Hi nii-san! How is school, what's it like, is it fun, how many people do you get to beat up?"

Jushiro not wanting to break his brother's heart before he ever even started simply stooped down gave him a hug and walked to his room leaving a confused Naruto in the living room before a yell broke his stupor. "Naruto! Go get ready, someone's got to teach you something useful damn it!"

A few minutes later Naruto had met his brother out behind the apartments once again when he beckoned him to follow deep into the forest until they reached a grassy clearing. "Alright you little bastard, from now on when we train we will be meeting here, understood?" Jushiro barked.

"Hai Big Boss, understood!" Was the response from Naruto.

Jushiro walked around Naruto a few times before speaking, "Yesterday was NOT a training exercise, it was meant to show me exactly what I have to teach you and how good you are, and with the knowledge of our session I have learned one thing and one thing only from you… YOU SUCK!" He paused for a moment for added effect.

"For the next five years you are my bitch; I say pushups you don't even get to ask how many, you simply get down and belly up until I say stop; I say run, you don't say how far, you fucking run until I personally stop you." He said to a now frightened Naruto. "I will make you do terrible things, I am going to scar your psyche, I am going to break you down to build you back up, by the time I'm done you will never complain about any conditions on any missions you may have."

Stopping in front of Naruto he continued his rant, "Every morning before school we will be coming out here working on your technique in many different areas and when I believe you are seasoned enough at something I do not want mistakes, for every mistake you will pay; if you miss a kata or a transition, you run a mile, if your kunai and shuriken miss your target from a pathetic range, you run a mile, if you break or lose my stuff when I teach you how to use weapons, I'll break my foot off in your ass… and then you'll run _two_ miles." He finished to a now shell-shocked Naruto.

"Any questions Naruto?"

"No Big Boss!"

"Good, now Naruto… How would you like to learn something no one else can do?"

"Yeah, I'd love to Big Boss."

"Well then, let me begin teaching you something about alchemy."

XxX

And so this was how it would go:

5 a.m. Naruto and Jushiro would wake up, eat, and go train; Jushiro's training for the morning consisted of working on hand-to-hand combat forms, brutal strength and conditioning training which would vary from running laps around the village, squats with fallen logs, pushups, and running laps with a cart full of chopped wood around the village. They would finish up the morning with a sparring session in which Jushiro would proceed to beat the crap out of Naruto.

7 a.m. Jushiro would leave and go to school, Naruto would read the notes and study theories on alchemy. The reason he studied at home was because Jushiro was a firm believer in pop quizzes and if he found that Naruto wasn't trying to learn the secret skill he had tried to teach him then he would proceed to torment Naruto relentlessly when he came home, therefore Naruto was forced to apply himself to learning… or suffer.

10 a.m. Naruto would complete the daily task set about for Naruto; these would range from more laps and physical training, to checking around for a blacksmith looking to apprentice Jushiro, to returning his overdue books and videos, to just cleaning the house. Naruto believed he was just using him for menial labor but Jushiro insisted there was a reason for it all. When these tasks were complete he would just get lunch or go home and crash out for a few hours.

3 p.m. Jushiro would come home, go over Naruto's day, review his progress and handle his own afterschool training, usually alone. He did it alone because after one particularly stressful day in school Naruto wanted to tag along because he still had energy, Jushiro, being in a nasty mood that day took it as an excuse to run Naruto into the ground with difficult tasks no six-year old should ever do. Needless to say Naruto was not very eager to get into that stuff until he had to.

7 p.m. Dinner; Jushiro had taken it upon himself to wean Naruto off of ramen… which was not as successful as he had hoped. At first Naruto would pout when something else was served, he'd even physically fight if Jushiro had tried to serve vegetables. However, eventually Naruto started showing up at dinner with instant ramen cups. When Jushiro took them from him it touched off a conflict between the two brothers, Naruto and Jushiro ended up waging guerilla warfare against one another; Naruto would find places to stash his cups and Jushiro would find them and lock them up, he started hiding them in his room, under his bed or in his drawers or closets, but the longer they lived together the more complex the hiding places ended up being, at one point a hiding place consisted of him actually hiding a few _at_ Ichiraku Ramen, the last place he thought he would ever look.

Despite the clashing of personalities the two did enjoy living together. Taking care of Naruto was not nearly as hard as Jushiro thought it would be and he had a blast messing with the kid. Naruto took Jushiro's chop-busting in stride, even getting in his own digs at his big brother which set the stage for his future pranking habits. Even so he was immensely enjoying Jushiro's company and attention that he had wanted just a few months prior.

XxX

Eventually the day had finally come where Naruto had to enter the academy. The clothes Naruto wore had changed, he no longer wore shorts, Jushiro had gone out and purchased him an orange hoodie that Naruto liked for the long sleeves because it covered his auto-mail arm that he still felt sensitive about, he covered his hand by wrapping it up so that no trace of it was seen. Along with that he wore blue cargo pants that he liked for the pockets,

Naruto had a habit of carrying things such as steel marbles in place of shuriken, ink bombs and other things. The reason for this being that even after Jushiro's run-in with the village man months before people still tried to harm Naruto, just not in the presence of his brother. His training now allowed him to properly escape and defend himself, using the things in his pockets as replacements for true ninja tools he was able to get in a little training as well.

"Hey, little buddy you ready for today?" Jushiro asked his younger brother.

Naruto looked up with a grin, "Yeah you bet nii-san, I'll graduate in no time!"

Jushiro chuckled 'Oh no you won't, trust me.' "That's good, but I need you to make me a promise ok Naruto?" Naruto nodded, "I need you to keep from using any alchemy while you're at school, it would be way to much of an issue if someone started snooping around us because you did something like that, so I need you to swear that you won't do it no matter what."

Naruto looked hurt for a moment but accepted, "Okay nii-san if you really want me to then I won't, I guess I'll just kick everyone's ass without alchemy so here." He handed over the portable transmutation circles that he and Jushiro had invented.

With the help of Naruto, Jushiro had found a way to transmutate on the fly, it was a small scale piece of paper with a hand-written circle on it, the effects however were very small, in order for a large reaction he still had to draw out the circle himself, but it was still a step in the right direction. Jushiro considered Naruto an equal when it came to alchemy because he didn't really teach much, he just gave him the notes and a few pointers, Naruto had studied and run his own practices; the fact was that Naruto had shown Jushiro almost as much as Jushiro had shown him, they were both crawling through the dark, they had no teacher, just themselves and a few notes to go off of. To be fair he himself didn't even use alchemy in school, he saw the jutsu they were required to learn as well as a few of the student's family techniques and kekkai genkai and he figured that playing his hand close the vest was best for now so he told Naruto to do the same.

"Alright then, if you're ready then, let's move out" Jushiro said opening the door to leave the apartment, Naruto ran behind him with a huge smile on his face, "Yosh, let's go nii-san, this is gonna be awesome."

**Chapter 3, I think it's pretty weak, I need to step it up, almost dying in a fiery car wreck 3 times in a snowstorm is no excuse for half-assedness. Next chapter as you can probably tell if you aren't retarded is the academy years, I think I have a few good twists in store for it but hey, I can't judge it, after all after I put out a chapter more people than me can read it. No snappy rant to go on in this chapter, but don't fear fans of sarcasm and cursing you'll get it next time.**

**As I always say, feel free to leave thoughts, ideas, constructive opinions, well wishes, death threats, or nothing, because I don't care, I got a story in mind and I'll be damned if I'm writing it cuz I want to waste laptop space, later days my peepulation.**


	4. Trials and Tribulations

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did I sure as hell would not be living in Southwest Virginia, I'd be living somewhere where something cool actually happens. Also there would be a character with guns in that mix with all those ninja… actually that still might happen.

**Chapter 4: Trials and Tribulations**

Jushiro had to keep a close eye and a decent grip on Naruto at all times on the walk to the academy, several different times on the way over Naruto had gotten overexcited and tried to go on a full-out sprint to the school only to be caught repeatedly. In an effort to calm his little brother down and make sure he didn't pull any dumbass mistakes on his first day he drilled instructions into Naruto's head. "Alright spaz calm down, now tell me everything that I told you earlier."

This seemingly calmed him down, sighing before answering, he slowed down to Jushiro's pace, "Come on Shiro, I know, I know."

Planting a hand on his brother's head Jushiro smirked, "Well then tell me, list everything I told your dumbass this morning before we left the house."

"Dammit, fine; you said no alchemy no matter what. You said keep the arm wrapped, but I was gonna do that anyway. Don't beat up the kids too bad in spars, don't skip class… without clearing it with you first. Watch my language, kind of weird coming from you. When I want to take the grad exam early I have to clear it with you and Hokage-Jiji first. Don't start fights… just finish them," Naruto said while counting off on his fingers, "and if I lose then you're gonna kick my ass, *sniff* would be easier if you'd let me use alchemy though."

Smirking, Jushiro pulled out the confiscated transmutation papers, "Maybe… but sorry about your damn luck, you're not done, you still have one left."

Thinking hard Naruto's face lit up, "Oh yeah… don't take any bullshit."

"Good boy." Jushiro said, "You're ready." 'I hope…'

Coming in sight of the school Jushiro took note of some of the kids Naruto's age, or more accurately, their parents. Quite a few he had noted, were smiling until they saw Naruto come up, he was pretty sure the only thing that stopped at least one from coming up and trying to chase Naruto away was the fact that the ones he thought would were civilians, and by now every civilian was well aware of the smack that was laid down upon a man known for attacking him by the white-haired red-eyed alchemist; therefore, as long as the young blonde was in Jushiro's direct presence, no normal person was dumb enough to pick a fight. This was enough of a reason for him to keep Naruto back with him, because he was very sure that a few clan families didn't have any qualms about starting a fight with him. Before he could start wasting time any further with Naruto while waiting for the doors to open, he was broken from his train of action.

"HEY, JUSHIRO OVER HERE!"

In response to the shout, Naruto and Jushiro turned their heads to see a brunette girl with her hair down and a few bangs in front with brown eyes running towards them, she had on a white long sleeved short cut to expose her shoulders and a yellow skirt. Jushiro smiled as the girl came closer, "Hello Eiko, how are you today?"

The girl, Eiko, beamed a smile in response to Jushiro, "I'm fine Jushiro-kun, are you ready for this semester?"

Jushiro's face took on a grimace, "Yeah, I'm so ready to sit in a dingy room for four more months learning stupid facts and ninja theories, Kami, I swear I did cooler stuff back in Resembool than here."

Eiko slapped him lightly on the shoulder, "Come on Jushiro-kun, only three more semesters and we can finally be ninja." Finally taking notice of the child behind Jushiro, Eiko spoke up. "Hey Jushiro-kun, who is this?"

Moving aside to expose Naruto, Jushiro spoke up, "This is my little brother; you know, the one I've been telling you and Blank about for the last few months, he's finally starting here."

Naruto took a moment before speaking, "Um… Hi there, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, Shiro's little brother, nice to meet you."

Eiko gave Naruto an appraising look, "You're the brother he's been talking about?" Naruto nodded, "Jushiro-kun he doesn't look like you, how can he be your otouto?"

Jushiro chuckled and ruffled his little brother's hair, "Well he damn sure might as well be, he's my brother in everything else but blood."

Naruto felt empowered by his brother's words and got some braggadocio back, "Yeah, this is my nii-san, I don't care what anybody says, and anyway who are you, I've never seen you before, how do you know Big Boss?"

Jushiro and Eiko smirked at the nickname Naruto had given Jushiro before responding, "Well I'm one of your brother's friends, Eiko Tanahashi," She paused to shake Naruto's hand before proceeding, "I know your brother because I'm in his class, I'm one of his only friends."

Naruto looked confused, "Why? What's wrong, why don't people like Big Boss?"

Jushiro palmed his forehead while Eiko smirked when another voice came out of nowhere, "It's because of what happened last semester when he just showed up out of the blue." Into their frame of vision they saw a kid with dark red hair standing a foot above his head, on his head he wore a visor; he had on a black tank-top and blue jean shorts.

Eiko and Jushiro looked happy to see him, "Blank, took you long enough to get here, you could have been late." Eiko said,

"Sorry you guys, you know I don't believe in alarm clocks, they're evil." Blank said while walking over, upon seeing Naruto he introduced himself, "Hey kid, I assume your Jushiro's little brother Naruto, well I am Blank Nogami, one of Jushiro's friends as well as the girl over there. And the reason is a very long story, that we don't have time to tell, time to go."

As he said that, the doors to the academy were opened for students to enter. "Well I hope I see you later Naruto-kun, Jushiro don't be late, come on Blank let's go." Eiko said while dragging Blank away to class.

Jushiro motioned for Naruto to follow him inside, "Come on brat, we better find your classroom."

Naruto was slightly upset, "But Big Boss, I didn't meet anybody my own age…"

Jushiro flicked his ear making Naruto recoil, "What do you think you'll be doing when you first get to class, come on kid, common sense, develop some."

Naruto growled, "Fuck you Jushiro, I'm actually smart… well I'm kind of smart… okay, but I'm not totally dumb; I do know alchemy after all ne?"

Jushiro just shook his head "Yeah otouto I guess that's true, here we are, room 210, good luck you little bastard, and remember…"

Naruto growled as he walked into the classroom, "Yeah, ok, I know, no alchemy, you only told me like a billion times!"

Jushiro just stood at the door smiling, "I know, but pissing you off is fun, ja ne little buddy!"

Naruto took in the aesthetics of the room, it was fairly large, with desks in rows, one row rising behind the one ahead to the back wall, he was somehow the first one in the room so he simply took a seat in the very middle. He took notice of the ones entering; the first was a young man with a high ponytail and a scar across his face, he assumed this man to be their teacher. The man had a look on his face, Naruto had seen this face a lot, not the look of hatred, but the look of apathy, he didn't seem to care about Naruto, it showed he was willing to tolerate him, but not much more than that, Naruto had no idea how to handle things. In trying to get a read on the man, Naruto hadn't noticed the class begin to fill up until one boy, bigger than Naruto walked up to where he was sitting, he could sense an incident about to happen,

"Hey, kid, this is my seat so go ahead and get up."

Naruto raised his head with a challenging look on his face, "Really? Because I don't really see any labels around here so I think I'll stay put, my butt has the chair all warm and everything too, so yeah, I think I'll stay."

The larger boy was angry, "Don't you know who I am? I'm the number two student in here, you just showed up."

Naruto, still yet to move put a smirk on his features, "I don't care, a classroom and a fight are two entirely different places to label yourself, you've probably never even been in one before." Naruto stood up to stare into the boy's eyes, "And I can take a guess that you've never taken a real punch before, hell, the only saving grace from your little rant I can tell you about is that you didn't call yourself 'second strongest' instead of just 'second best.'"

Naruto opened his mouth to continue before he was interrupted, "ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!"

Suddenly all students in the room sat down with the exception of Naruto and his new enemy, the boy looked like a deer caught in the headlight, meanwhile Naruto looked at the teacher with a look of amusement on his face, having never seen Big-Head no Jutsu before, he found it slightly funny. "Takada! Take a seat!" The boy quickly snagged the seat recently vacated by Naruto, "And you, the new arrival, take a different seat elsewhere!"

Naruto looked back with a sheepish grin, "Yeah, sorry about that, I just hate bullies and these seats aren't labeled mister…."

He trailed off giving the man a chance to give his name, "You can call me Iruka-sensei."

Naruto looked back while walking to an empty seat in the back, "Okay, understood, you know you could have told me about that when you came in, it might have prevented a scene, but I hope this doesn't lower my standing any."

A random boy shouted out, "What standing? You're the bottom of the bottom in here!" Which introduced a cacophony of laughter which Iruka once again had to quell. After it was over he began calling role, Naruto took this opportunity to take notice of people he thought would be interesting. People of note in the room he thought were worth paying attention to were: Shino Aburame, he sat at the same level as Naruto however he sat in the middle whereas Naruto sat in the corner, he seemed kind of weird, but as Jushiro's code had taught Naruto; weird doesn't mean better or worse, just different. Chouji Akimichi, he was a chubby kid, and he seemed to always be eating, but he seemed like a nice enough guy to Naruto. Chouji sat next to Shikamaru Nara, he couldn't really tell much about him, he seemed kind of lazy. Sakura Haruno sat down around the middle of the classroom, she seemed cute to Naruto, but he was reserving judgment until they had actually spoken. Ino Yamanaka sat right next to Sakura, apparently the two were quite close, that was a good thing for him, if he could get close to one of them then he could be friends with both. Kiba Inuzuka seemed kind of smug and brash, after hearing him talk a bit Naruto decided to place him in the 'potential douchebag' category.

When the name 'Hinata Hyuuga' came up Naruto barely heard the response, while he did think she was a little too timid, he had admitted that he thought her eyes were pretty cool. He was quickly snapped from his contemplation when the next name was called, Sasuke Uchiha. The majority of the girls in the class just started fawning over him, but Naruto noticed something else. Upon closer inspection Naruto came to a horrifying conclusion; this kid had every single tell-tale warning sign of a douchebag that Jushiro's code had warned him about. From the attitude, to the perpetually sour and dreary look on his face, to his holier-than-thou aura surrounding him, however the thing that showed him how close to full-on douchebag young Sasuke was had to have been the popped collar. His shirt would have been considered a damn turtleneck sweater if the area around the neck had been tight, but he had to take his appearance as it was, being that it was loose it was a popped collar by Naruto's standards, and to him that was fucking frightening. 'Okay, first douchebag of the year, this might suck a little bit.'

XxX

The morning was not very kind to Naruto, all they had done was village history, and ninja theories and Naruto was anxious and confused, 'Come on already, why do I need to know this crap? I mean who cares if old guy number one fought old guy number two at random place A? That crap won't save me in a fight!' His face clearly showing disdain for the current setting. Ninja theory had gone almost as bad, at least Naruto had some kind of knowledge of strategy and tactics, even if he had no knowledge; Jushiro had told him that planning was not his forte, that much like himself, Naruto would probably be a direct combat type, and refrained from teaching Naruto strategy. This was fine with Naruto, because he thought that would help turn him into a 'brick-shit-house' like Jushiro, however the future for his grades did not look too bright.

Lunch came around and as all of the students headed outside to eat Naruto decided to use this time to actually find some of the kids he had taken notice of. Easiest to Shikamaru and Chouji, but before he could get within speaking range of the two he was cut off. The boy form earlier, now identified as Takada had blocked his was flanked by two other random boys. "So you thought it was over after Iruka-sensei saved you huh?"

Naruto, no stranger to a three-on-one situation, readied himself for anything, "For a second there, yeah, yeah I actually did."

The boys decided to close in on Naruto as Takada continued, "Yeah well no one's here for you now, no sensei, no crazy brother of yours, you're all alone."

Naruto took up his stance out of necessity, "A mistake… you thinking that I need anyone to protect me… come then, I'm still hungry and you've wasted my entire lunch with your bullshit."

Now having been a victim of mob assaults early on in his life, Naruto knew the quickest way to disperse an unruly crowd, take out the leader and the followers will falter, 'Gotta take him out quick, or else.' Takada's muscles tensed as he leapt forward for his charge, "I'm gonna show you yo- huuurg!" Naruto had closed the distance quickly and hit a quick sweeping elbow to the body and a flat swinging hook to the face of the boy. As he stumbled back, reminiscent of how his brother followed up on his openings he landed a flying knee to Takada's head sending him flying back into a table.

Naruto looked up and smirked as the crowd quickly vanished, 'Ha ha, take the head out and the bitches break off.'

Checking the clock he was pleased to see that he still had fifteen more minutes so he continued walking towards Shikamaru and Chouji who had seen the whole thing. Arriving to a stand-still a few feet away he stopped and spoke. "Wow, I wonder if this is how everybody treats new kids."

Shikamaru answered, "That guy was troublesome anyway, you were right this morning, he'd never fought anyone before you and I don't think he will after this either." Chouji simply nodded his head in agreement before continuing to eat.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head smiling, "Like I said, I hate bullies, I'm Naruto how it going?"

Shikamaru took the effort to reach out and shake his hand, "I'm Shikamaru, and this guy over here is Chouj, nice to meet you." Shortly after introductions the bell rang to re-enter class, as he was about retake his corner seat Naruto saw Chouji and Shikamaru summon him over to their area.

'Huh, maybe being stuck in class won't be so bad… I'd still rather fight than read a book though.'

XxX

(4 years later)

"Another day of horrifying horror in school," Naruto said as he took his seat, "I'm so sick of this place, Big Boss hasn't been here for two years now, I just want to graduate already so I can start kicking some ass!"

"Hey, calm down Naruto, it'll be over soon, then we'll have to go on troublesome missions all the time, man my dad tells me all the time about the things he has to do." Shikamaru said with his head down on the desk. "Besides, just yelling about things never solved anything for you has it?"

"Yeah I guess, but seriously damn it I'm so bored in here all day, Big Boss's tough-ass training is more fun than this, and that shit is torture!" Naruto said while rocking back in his chair, "I mean, at least your dad tells you stuff, Big Boss won't tell me anything about his missions, he just smiles and laughs when I ask, I really just want to graduate so I can at least see all the kick-ass things my nii-san goes through!"

"Shut up Naruto-baka! The way things are going for you you'll never graduate!" Sakura said who was then seconded by Ino, "Yeah Naruto, I mean you can't even make a bunshin, how could someone like you ever graduate!"

Naruto not fazed by their insults simply stayed seated, "So because I can't make a bunshin, you all are counting me out of the running… As far as I'm concerned Sakura-_chan_, for all of your book-smarts if either of you ever had to fight me, you'd lose… because you can't fight, and I'm a killer in orange clothing." Naruto had now taken to wearing an orange vest almost like his brother's olive one, except underneath it he had a long blue shirt with his auto-mail arm still wrapped in combat wrap. Suspicion was drawn to his arm when during sparring sessions whenever he wanted to end a fight he'd drop an arm technique with the right arm, he called it his 'miracle right.' His cover story for keeping it wrapped was that it was an old nagging injury that had to be covered at all times, no one questioned it because the only people that really knew of his attack when he was six were the Sandaime Hokage, the Rockbells, the few doctors who had kept him from dying and were sworn to secrecy, and Jushiro himself.

"Just be quiet dobe, it's not just your bunshin, your kawarimi and henge aren't too hot either, I'd be shocked myself if you actually graduated." These words directed the attention of 92% of the female population in the classroom straight to Sasuke Uchiha, sighs of 'you're so cool Sasuke' or 'I love you Sasuke,' could be heard as the Uchiha spoke to Naruto, "You're the dead-last for a reason you know, all of the academy jutsu are too much for you."

"Huh? Oh hey Sasuke what's up? I wasn't really listening to you, I was thinking of exactly how I'm gonna bribe Big Boss into letting me have ramen tonight." Ignoring the distressed and angry cries of Sasuke's rabid fan-girls, Naruto knew he did have a point, his entire time in school he had problems using chakra. It wasn't until recently that the answer to his problem was discovered by Jushiro.

Most ninja used two hands to form hand signs and mould chakra for jutsu, however a lack of a chakra network in Naruto's auto-mail arm hindered his ability to do so. In reality, the entire time he had been learning jutsu he had been doing so one handed, this would continue to get worse as he would try to learn more difficult techniques. However the problem was recently solved by Winry, who when told of Naruto's problem, worked on an arm of an entirely different model, in place of some of the metal's density and durability she had somehow formed an artificial chakra network for Naruto's use. The expenses had been paid by Jushiro, who had been a genin for almost 3 years at that point.

After his new arm was attached, he found kawarimi and henge much easier than he had prior to the replacement, however he still had problems with his bunshin, not even his brother could help with his problem. 'The final exam is in one week, I have to graduate, Big Boss will kick my ass if I fail.' Due to his lack of chakra control and apathy towards bookwork, Naruto was the dead-last in class, a major reason he had gotten so far to this point was because of his ability when it came to practical application. His routine brutal spars with Jushiro gave him a big leg up over students who had been coddled by the instructors but the fact was that without Jushiro, Naruto would never spar, after the first few sparring sessions he almost never got to fight other students; Iruka, who had ignored Naruto at first had been the only teacher who gave the boy any help, but having a class full of students kept him from helping too much. His stealth was fantastic due to intense tests against Jushiro and his friends Eiko and Blank, but in school these things were covered sparsely so he couldn't show off very much. His accuracy with throwing weapons were pretty good, however at school his shuriken would bounce off of his targets, his terrible practice equipment always handed out by other instructors was never up to snuff. Regardless, he never told anyone about his treatment, as far as he was concerned he could handle his own problems, that and Jushiro would overreact and maybe blow up the school out of spite.

Nevertheless he had to figure out a way to get the clone jutsu down, 'maybe Big Boss can give me some help, he always knew what to do before when I had trouble with my jutsu.' He resolved to ask about it when he got home that day.'

XxX

_Dear Naruto_

_What's up runt, I'm sorry but I'm not going to be in town for a couple of weeks, my team finally got another C-ranked mission so we're going to be gone for a while. I'm sorry little guy, but I'm probably going to miss your graduation exam, but it's okay, I know you'll give 'em hell kid, so I'll be sure to grill you about the details when we get back; Eiko says to keep your ass out of trouble, and to communicate better but I don't really know what she said because I wasn't paying attention._

_I've left you quite a bit of money to eat, I don't want you eating at Ichiraku's every damn day, but I can't stop you now so have at it. Keep yourself safe and don't take any shit like I always tell you to, and adhere to the code, later Naruto, I'll see you soon._

_Sincerely, Jushiro Moyomoto_

_P.S. If you do actually fail, I'm gonna kick your ass, then I'm gonna bust your balls for 6 months, ja ne. _

"Damn it Jushiro… what the hell am I going to do now, I'm screwed." Naruto grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator before heading to their training spot, "It's crunch time and I'm out of options" As he was turning around in the kitchen he found a scroll on the table; the note attached said, 'to my dumbass little brother, here's a new jutsu for your punk-ass, enjoy and thank me later.' Opening the scroll he found the jutsu; Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough). "Wow, okay Boss, I guess there's nothing I can do now, all I can do is try learning something.

After going out back and going over the motions he figured it was time to make an attempt, "Okay, here we go, let's give it a shot, Fuuton: Daitoppa!" The jutsu let out a monstrous gust of wind prior to destroying a fairly large plot of trees, "Wow… huh, I guess I better watch how I use that one… well hot damn then!" Naruto refrained from practicing further due to the destruction he reaped with his first attempt. "Well, fun's over, now let's get that damn bunshin down pat."

XxX

"Fuck my luck…" Naruto's week attempting to get a decent clone together had not yielded fruitful results. No matter how many times he tried, all he could get were sickly, dead looking replicas. Iruka drummed him right out even with Mizuki's attempts to pass the boy. Naruto now sat outside on the swing in front of the academy, subjected to listening to all the praise given to children who had actually graduated and hearing the veiled shots taken at him from a distance he barely noticed Mizuki's arrival behind him.

"Mizuki-sensei, what do you need from me." He said to the silver-haired man standing behind him.

"Naruto, I think I have something that is of great interest and importance to you, I think you should come with me." Mizuki gestured towards him.

Naruto, not really having much to lose at this point, followed him.

XxX

"Kami, that was so easy!" Naruto thought as he fled deep into the woods, "That was a graduation exam? I'd much rather have done that than make a freaking clone!" Stopping at a shrine, he considered that far enough away to begin his task, 'Alright then let's see, Mizuki said I need to learn at least one jutsu from this scroll now let's see what we've got here… damn it! A lot of these are different clone jutsu, of course they are… Nothing is ever fucking easy is it?' Finding the two he decided to attempt he steeled his temper, "Alright, time to nut up or shut up, let's get that damn hitae-ate!"

Three hours later Naruto sat exhausted on the forest floor, scroll splayed across his lap, "Kami, what a workout, those jutsu are drainers." But a smile of satisfaction found its way onto his lips, "Now nobody can hold me back anymore, and Shiro won't beat my ass ragged."

"Ha, I finally found you NARUTO!" Naruto looked back to see Iruka Umino with a perturbed look on his face. "What do you think you're doing Naruto?"

Naruto looked up from the ground at his sensei, "Wow sensei, you're good, I only had enough time to learn two jutsu from the scroll," Iruka looked at him in astonishment as he leapt to his feet, "But everything is alright now, because you can pass me now,"

Iruka still looked stunned, "Naruto what are you…"

Naruto cut him off, "That's how it works isn't it Iruka-sensei? If you learn a jutsu from the scroll then you automatically graduate."

His face turned from a look of shock to a look of suspicion, "Naruto, who was it who told you that?"

Suddenly a barrage of kunai and shuriken came at both Iruka and Naruto who dodged them, "Very good Naruto, now give me the scroll."

Iruka was finally able to put 2 and 2 together, "Don't do it Naruto! Mizuki is deceiving you!"

Mizuki just started cackling, "Ha, I've been deceiving you? Naruto have you ever wondered why people treat you so terribly, why they ignore you in the streets, or worse, attack you?"

Naruto flashed back to the night he lost his arm and began shaking until Iruka yelled, "MIZUKI NO! IT'S FORBIDDEN!"

Ignoring Iruka's pleas Mizuki followed up, "Naruto… YOU are the Nine-Tailed Fox."

Naruto was shocked, how could he not have been, he was just told that he was the reincarnation of the demon that almost destroyed the village. Suddenly his entire life began making sense, the glares, the attacks, the nasty names such as 'demon' and 'monster' that he had always been subjected to, 'It all makes sense, even down to why I survived that night my arm was cut off, was that what pulled me from behind the gate? I can only imagine…' Naruto, floored by the new events presented to him, never heard what came next.

"Die Naruto!" Mizuki threw a fuuma shuriken towards Naruto, looking to end his life.

Still stunned, Naruto's legs could not move from his place as he fell to the ground trying to escape. His death never came, as Iruka saw fit to block Naruto's body with his own, "Iruka-sensei… Why?"

Iruka had tears in his eyes as he spoke, "I never hated you Naruto, at first I saw you as the demon, but as I came to know you, you reminded me of myself, I know what it feels like to be alone, I never should have allowed something like that to happen."

Mizuki still stood on his tree-branch laughing, "Don't believe that trash Naruto, Mizuki hated you like all the rest, his parents were killed by the Kyuubi, how could he care about you?"

Iruka snapped, "That's a lie Mizuki!" Iruka threw the fuuma shuriken back out of rage, but as he turned he saw Naruto running into the forest. "Naruto!" He yelled as he and Mizuki gave chase into the woods after the blonde.

XxX

'Everything he said, about caring, about how he believed in me… it was a lie?' Naruto thought to himself as he fled, 'Iruka thinks I'm a demon, what about Big Boss, does he know… what would he say?' thinking on this, he stopped running as he heard familiar voices.

"How do you know what he would do Mizuki?"

Mizuki grinned insanely, "Because he's like me, Naruto will take the power of the hidden scroll and use it to burn Konoha to the ground, he will take vengeance on every single person who wronged him, because that's what demon's do."

Iruka smirked, "You're right Mizuki… that is what demons do…"

Naruto felt his heart sink at hearing those words, 'So that really is how he feels after all." Naruto thought as he stood up to flee further before more words halted him, "But he's not a demon, he's Naruto Uzumaki, a ninja of Konoha; he works hard, and never gives up, sure he messes up, and people jump all over him but he is strong, and he has more character than that."

Naruto was almost brought to tears, 'He really does believe in me after all.' He was broken from his musings by the sight of Mizuki rushing in to finish off Iruka.

Naruto leapt from his hiding place to hit Mizuki with a flying knee, sending him flying backwards. "If you ever lay a hand on my sensei… I'LL KILL YOU!"

Mizuki stood up enraged, "You think you can beat me? I'll destroy you in one move!"

Naruto stood in a challenging posture, "Take your best shot you pussy, I'll send it back to you a thousand-fold!"

Mizuki set himself in a battle stance, "Show me what you've got then Kyuubi!"

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

The forest filled with copies of the young alchemist, all smirking in anticipation of the coming attack, Mizuki stood stunned as a few of the clones spoke up, "Hey Mizuki-teme, didn't you saw you'd destroy us in one shot?" "Well if you aren't coming to us, we're coming to you!" Mizuki let out an anguished scream as hundreds of metal fists decided to take their shots on the silver-haired chuunin. Standing in a now vacant field with a broken and beaten Mizuki, Naruto rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish look on his face, "I guess I went a little overboard huh?"

Iruka had a proud look on his face, "Naruto, come here for a second and close your eyes for me." Doing as he was told he felt something wrap around his head tightly, "Okay, now open your eyes." Naruto opened his eyes to reveal Iruka sans hitai-ate, feeling it on his own head. "Congratulations Naruto! You pass!" Naruto waited for a moment taking in the feeling before mobbing Iruka with a hug, "Oh thank you Iruka-sensei! Thank you so much" Naruto had felt that the first step towards becoming Hokage had just been taken.

XxX

Jushiro, Eiko,and Blank were sitting by a river during a night-time stop on their way back to Konoha when Jushiro felt a strange swelling of pride in a weird combination he'd never felt before. "Huh, that's weird…" Blank took quick notice of his teammate's strange state, "Shiro what's up? Something the matter?"

Shaking his head while clutching his chest, Jushiro said, "No, nothing bad, I just got the feeling that someone close to me just kicked someone's ass… It feels good you know?"

"Maybe Naruto-kun did something cool Jushiro-kun?" Eiko chimed in while dipping her feet in the river, "You know he wasn't going to stay out of trouble the entire time right?" Eiko said while elbowing Jushiro in the hip.

"Yeah, maybe… But didn't I tell him to stay out of trouble?" Jushiro mused.

Blank shrugged, "Yeah, but since when does he listen to you anyway?" He said while shaking his head.

Eiko cut back in, "Yeah, I swear you two have to be some kind of retarded… you both have the listening skills of a block of sharp cheddar cheese."

Jushiro looked confused, "Huh? Did you two say something, I'm sorry I was just thinking about how much of my money that brat blew on the Ichiraku Ramen stand, that little punk is buying his own shit from now on, I ain't a fucking philanthropist."

Eiko palmed her forehead and splashed Jushiro, "And there's my point… Kami, you two really are brothers huh?"

"Whatever Eiko, I just wish that I was there to warn him about the teams… if what he's been telling me is any hint, I think he's gonna be downright miserable. Poor little bastard."

Blank and Eiko looked confused, "What do you mean Jushiro-kun?"

Jushiro stood up to walk back to camp, "What I mean is that he's the dead-last, and they 'balance out' the teams, if you pay attention to when we go pick him up, you can guess what I mean."

Watching their red-eyed teammate walk away the two confused kids' took on a look as if their understanding just dawned, "Oh man, that poor kid, he's gonna be miserable on his team." Blank said.

Eiko nodded in agreement, "All that Naruto-kun can hope for is that he gets promoted to chuunin quickly, Kami forbid he end up a genin as long as us, at least we like each other… I think he might end up killing his team."

The two shrugged carelessly before Blank spoke, "Oh well, the worst thing that can happen would be that he DOES actually kick their asses, I just hope I'm there to see it. Come on Eiko, let's go to bed."

**Chapter 4 up! Damn I'm fast with this, being snowed in has a few advantages huh? Well he's graduated, now the pace is gonna actually pick up. More fights, and I'm throwing in alchemy now. To answer a question asked earlier by an attentive reader, yes, Jushiro's appearance is based on the appearance of Ishbalans from Fullmetal Alchemist. He isn't actually supposed to be Ishbalan, I just thought that they looked cool so I decided to make him look like them. I don't know if I'll even try to incorporate that yet, maybe later if I'm feeling ballsy, maybe not. Jushiro's team will get more spotlight later, and I need to come up with a jounin sensei for them too, I need to make sure he doesn't end up too generic. **

**I've got to drive back to campus through a blizzard-shitstorm tomorrow so that's gonna suck… I hate winter…**

**Review, comment, shoot some ideas or opinions, go for it. Till next time people, be easy.**


	5. My Own Worst Enemy

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, because if I did I would not be writing for this website, I'd be in rehab trying to kick the nasty cocaine habit I picked up trying to spend my massive monstrous bank account. BLING BLING!

**Chapter 5: My Own Worst Enemy**

"Congratulations Naruto-kun, I knew you could do it!"

"Yeah kid I have to say, that story of yours is insane, an academy kid beating up a chuunin like that… incredible." These were a few of the words that came from Ayame and Teuchi Ichiraku respectively as he sat down to eat two days after his fight with Mizuki and his subsequent graduation. Being that Jushiro was still absent and that even if he was there he would probably only get sparse praise from him, Naruto was getting his admiration from elsewhere. Getting a bowl of ramen or twelve was just a bonus.

"I'm sure your brother would be proud of you if he knew how you did it, it's an amazing story Naruto-kun." Ayame said while standing behind the counter in front of him, "You just need to have more faith in Jushiro, he just acts like he's a tough-guy, if he didn't care then he'd never live with you in the first place."

Naruto finished up his bowl of ramen before looking up to respond, "Meh, maybe, but enough about that, I'm a ninja now, how cool is that?" Naruto began waving him arms in an excited fashion, "Now I'm gonna get to go on kick-ass missions just like Big Boss does, he's on one now, I can't wait ha ha!

"Well just make sure you keep coming around here kid, you're my best customer, I might be able to retire off of you one of these days." Teuchi joked while returning Naruto's change.

Taking it, Naruto stood up to leave, "You bet old man, I'll see you guys later, I have to go back to the school today for my placement, bye old man, bye Ayame-neechan. Naruto took off for the academy as he was instructed by Iruka.

XxX

Naruto stepped into the classroom he had spent 5 years of his life prior to today, he wasn't full of dread as he normally was because he knew that not only would he never step foot in that room again, it was the start of his ninja career. Shikamaru noticed him first, always the smart-ass he had to make a remark. "Hey Naruto, what are you doing here? This isn't a place for dropouts."

Naruto had a dead-pan look on his face as he walked closer to Shikamaru, "Kiss my ass Shikamaru, if your lazy ass would tilt your neck slightly higher, you'd see my damn hitae-ate, I earned this thing, so I don't really need to hear any bullcrap today."

Shikamaru just turned his attention back ahead, "Troublesome, whatever Naruto."

"Hah, I beat you here Ino-pig!"

"Whatever Forehead-girl I beat you by a mile."

Naruto grimaced to himself, "And here we go, get ready for the next installment of the catfight chronicles," Naruto started, taking a seat by Sasuke, "The prize for victory apparently is the moody, dark, always unpleasant king of all teme… Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke seemed unfazed by all of this so Naruto decided to continue, "Sasuke, the center of the universe, the catalyst for busted eardrums around the class room for going on five years now, how do you feel about this happening?"

"Hmn"

"I see, so do you have any commentary for the ongoing action we are seeing in front of us?" Naruto said, pointing towards the girls; what had started as Ino and Sakura arguing had turned into a full-blown battle royal of shouting, screeching and yelling. "This is a tremendous occasion, I haven't seen a blow up this large since the winter of the third year, tell me Sasuke how does this stack up to that particular conflict?"

"Hmn"

"Very well put, such an intellectual answer my collar-popping colleague, WHOA! It's heating up now!" At this point the shouting and shoving became a name-calling and hair-pulling contest centered aroud the two who had intiated contact, Ino and Sakura. "Sasuke it's seems that the pecking order is once again being determined around here, maybe for the last time, any thoughts, predictions, or closing thoughts you'd like to leave the listeners with?"

"Hmn"

"There you have it loyal listeners, vague words from an emotionless man." Turning his attention back to the scuffle he took note of a dark blue haired girl sitting at the top near the door, Naruto had eventually identified her as Hinata. Not done poking fun at the fan-girl rumble he made his way back to her. "Hello my dear, you don't seem to be wanting to participate in the festivities down the stairs, being that you are a neutral party in all of this perhaps you'd like to comment on the ongoing struggle?"

Hinata, taking note of exactly who was sitting next to her, found herself incredibly tongue-tied, "N-n-naruto I-I-I, W-w-what are you…"

Naruto cut her off, placing a hand on her shoulder he continued the announcer schtick, "Come come now Hinata, you're a smart girl, you've been seeing this for years just as myself, what say you on today's proceedings?" Hinata's response was to pass out.

"Ahh, holy crap what happened?" Naruto was freaking out, "Dude, what do I do? This is weird, how do I handle this?" Now years of having to watch your back for fear of not making it home due to a random attack had left Naruto with a very good early warning system for attack in his head, this allowed him to sense even the faintest amount of killing intent from those around him. In this case however, there was no need for any kind of senses, even the densest person could feel the anger in the room directed at one Naruto Uzumaki. Naruto knew he was dead, the only control over the situation he had was the speed at which he could turn around to face his doom which he chose to squander by turning quickly.

The girls now crowding him had violence in mind, 'Fucking fantastic…' Naruto thought, 'I just had to go piss off a room full of crazy killer kung-fu ninja bitches.'

Sakura spoke up, "Na-ru-to, what did you do to Hinata?"

Naruto, being unable to explain, because he seriously didn't know, did the only thing he could to save his ass, "Okay, okay, you each get one shot each… and not in the face"

Five minutes later it was quite evident that his bargain had fallen on deaf ears as the lumps and bruises all over his face would testify to, Naruto now sat between Sasuke and the main perpetrator of his physical anguish, Sakura. By now all the seats had been taken and Iruka had entered the room, with the events of the last few days Naruto was amazed that he wasn't even walking with a limp, he looked just fine. "Okay everyone, it's time for team placements."

A few of the new genin were surprised however Naruto was not, 'Big Boss has teammates, Eiko and Blank, at least they were close anyway… who the hell am I going to end up with?'

"Team 7: Naruto Uzumaki…" At this the blonde's head sat up off of the desk, "Sakura Haruno,"

The sound of Sakura's shouts of defeat were starting to get to him, 'I don't suck that bad…'

"And Sasuke Uchiha."

"YEAH! Take that Ino-pig, I'm with Sasuke-kun!" 'TRUE LOVE CONQUERORS ALL, SHANNARO!'

THUMP!

THUMP!

THUMP!

THUMP!

The attention of the classroom was now directed to Naruto, who had taken to bouncing his head off of the desk repeatedly in an effort to cope with his predicament. Iruka looked on, concerned about Naruto's condition, "Umm Naruto, is there a problem?"

Naruto planted his head against the desk once more before turning his head to glare at Iruka, "Yeah there is Iruka, I thought you said you DIDN'T hate me?"

Iruka raised an eyebrow, "I don't hate you Naruto, what are you talking about?"

Naruto finally sat up again, "You know what I'm talking about, some team I'm on, you've got the number-one emo kid over here in all of his brooding asshole glory and then you've got his number one fan who's probably loading up her right to swing on me as we speak." He said, stopping Sakura from actually hitting him as he called out exactly what she was going to do.

"Just don't get in my way dobe." Were the words that came from Sasuke. Naruto was about to retort, but upon seeing who was on his right he simply let it slide. He simply sat and daydreamed as Iruka called the remaining teams. As Iruka finished calling the remaining teams Naruto had been thinking about the earlier event with Hinata, he didn't know quite what had happened, but he was sure that it was his fault, he felt he had to come up with a way to apologize. He was broken from that train of thought when Iruka called for lunch, Naruto did see this as a good chance to start off a decent team dynamic so he set out to get an opportunity to eat with them.

Believing that Sasuke would be more level-headed to approach first, he asked him in the hallway, "Hey Sasuke, since we're on a team now and all, what do you say we just start over and try to act like a team? What do you say, we can start right here by eating lunch; you, me, Sakura, how about it."

Sasuke simply gave him a look, "I don't need a team, as far as I'm concerned you're in the way, why would I want to be on a team with a dobe like you?"

Sakura quickly followed with her sparkling input, "Yeah, Sasuke-kun's right, I don't even know how you graduated, you'll just be in the way."

Naruto slapped his hand to head and turned to leave, "I'm gonna kill Iruka… I'm gonna kill him."

Heading back into the classroom he had just left he not only saw Iruka, but came across Hinata, Kiba, and Shino, Team 8. Giving a two-fingered salute to the team in their desks he stomped over to Iruka with a scowl on his face. "Iruka, this is not good."

Iruka looked up from his own desk at a very displeased Naruto, "Naruto, what do you need, what's wrong?"

He took a seat on Iruka's desk to elaborate, "My 'team' is the Sasuke Uchiha show with Sakura tailing right behind, they can't stand me, they won't listen, and this team may end up giving me stomach ulcers; there has to be something you can do about it, why am I on this team anyway?"

Iruka gave him an apologetic look, "Sorry Naruto, the teams are set and they were balanced out for an equal distribution of skill."

Naruto took on a darkened look, "So what you're telling me, is that someone wanted the rookie of the year and the top kunoichi in class, but they needed someone else from the list to make it seem like he didn't have an overpowered team." He said getting closer and closer to Iruka, "So hey! Why not throw the dead-last into that mix, he won't live long, why not? Train one or two and let the dobe die am I right!"

He was yelling at Iruka now who tried calming him down, "Naruto settle down, it's okay, that's not true."

Naruto put his hands up to stop Iruka from speaking, he took a few moments to take a few breaths and calm down, "You're right Iruka-sensei, it is okay, I mean nothing has been easy for me this far, hell nothing has even been conventional or fair so why did I think I'd get a fair shake now?" He said with a straight face. "It's okay though, I've dealt with this bullshit before, it's nothing new… but mark my words, I'm gonna be the ninja that I always knew that I would be… because there's no one… no one who can stop me." He left it at that as he walked up the stairs to sit near Team 8.

Kiba spoke first, "Naruto, what the hell was that?"

Naruto sat down a row beneath them and sighed, "Pent-up rage Kiba, pent-up rage, all it was."

Shino and Kiba looked at one another before Shino spoke up this time, "Naruto, what exactly is the problem?"

Naruto tilted his head back to see Team 8 upside down before answering, "I guess you guys really weren't eavesdropping, at least until I started shouting."

That got a grin out of Kiba and a small smile from Hinata. Naruto continued, "My team is shit, they're gonna get me killed because we've got a douchebag and his head cheerleader, and then we've got myself; I might just be the sanest person on my team and that's a bad fucking thing if you haven't noticed."

Hinata tried to console the boy, "A-ano, N-naruto-kun, your s-sensei w-w-wouldn't let anything bad happen r-right?"

Naruto smiled at the girl in thanks, forcing her to blush, leaning further back in his seat he explained his reasoning, "I'm not so sure you guys, they put me on an overloaded team, that's not balance; this person is just banking on the fact that I suck so much that anyone who looks closely at our team can't say he has a super-strong squad." No one on Team 8 knew quite how to react so Naruto spoke again while standing to move to his actual seat, "The way I see it I'm cannon fodder for an enemy in battle, the first guy in and the last guy out; the advanced infantry. But because we aren't at war then I assume that I am meant to be a weak rival for Sasuke to gauge his growth by, and that this person saw my marks in the academy and assumed that the 'dead-last' would be perfect for it; but I've always said that your grades in school mean nothing on the battlefield, I'll make them all see that." Naruto took his seat just as the class began to refill.

XxX

After the class had refilled, most of the teams had been quickly picked up by their jounin squad leaders. Team 8 had been picked up by Kurenai Yuhi an attractive dark-haired lady with red eyes that reminded Naruto vaguely of Jushiro, Team 10 had been grabbed by a man with a beard who smelled of cigarettes, his face seemed familiar to Naruto and he had to smile in understanding after he revealed his name to be Asuma Sarutobi, the son of Naruto's favorite old man.

However all of these things happened over three hours ago, and so here sat Team 7, Naruto had long since moved to the corner once populated by Team 8 and was stewing in his own frustration, 'This guy really isn't giving me any good reasons not to put him on my shit list, it's been three fucking hours, my ass is asleep." Looking around the room he saw Sasuke still sitting, elbow against the desk, mouth covered by his hands. Sakura was seated right next to him, again trying to pull a date from Sasuke. Upon listening, Naruto had actually heard a few lines from their stimulating conversation:

"Sasuke-kun, it's so great that we're on a team together isn't it?"

"Hmn"

"So who do you think our sensei will be? Do you know what he'll have us do?"

"Hmn"

"Hey Sasuke-kun, after this what do you say we go out to eat? I know of this place with great sushi, what do you say?"

"Hmn"

Riveting dialogue no?

Naruto had long since had enough of the monotony and decided to spice things up a bit, grabbing an eraser he wedged it between the door and the doorframe, so that the next person to open the door would have it fall on them. "What do you think you're doing you baka?" Sakura yelled down the stairs, "You shouldn't do things like that Naruto."

Naruto looked back with a sour expression on his face, "We've been sitting here for three-and-a-half god damned hours, I am ridiculously bored and this is the least this guy deserves for this crap."

Naruto walked back towards his seat when Sasuke spoke, "Dobe this is a jounin, he'd never fall for a childish prank like that."

Sakura nodded in agreement, "Sasuke-kun's right Naruto, you'll just get into trouble."

Naruto just shrugged, "Whatever happens happens, I'm not afraid of any mortal man, woman, or beast." Sasuke scoffed, "Whatever dobe."

Naruto finally took offense to this and walked over to where Sasuke and Sakura were seated, "Tell me Sasuke-_teme_," Sakura was about to yell at him but he lifted his hand, telling her to be quiet, "How close to death have you ever come?" Sakura and Sasuke looked at him in disbelief as he continued, "Because the way I see it, after you almost die, then anything less than the threat of guaranteed death will be enough to rattle you ever again." Staring directly into Sasuke's eyes he paralyzed him with cobalt blues of his own, "Until you've been so close to death that you actually see the gate… you see it open, you go inside and envelop yourself in the darkness… Until you go so far inside that the only damn thing that saves you is the fact that the gate just won't close… you can't tell me what I do, and do not fear." Ignoring the looks from his two teammates he closed his eyes before finishing his rant, "And what I fear is nothing tangible, nothing that I can see, can feel, can fight back against. I fear the things that are out of my control, I fear the things that I will never know, I fear the unknown-unknowns of our world."

Sakura stared at him before gaining the resolve to question him, "Naruto what are you talking about, unknown-unknowns?" She said in confusion, "What are you saying?" Sasuke simply kept listening, he actually wanted to hear what Naruto really knew about life.

"Let me tell you then, if you don't understand." He said shifting in his chair to look at both, "In this world there are known-knowns, things we know we know, and there are known-unknowns, things we know we don't know." He started, pausing to gauge their understanding, "These things can usually be learned and understood by simply going through life, looking for the answers, studying, just living." Flipping his hand he went on, "On the flip-side of that there are unknown-unknowns, things we don't know we don't know, these are confusing because we never think about them, to think about them would make them a known-unknown, and would put you on the watch for them, unknown-unknowns can be anything… anything in the universe that you don't know, that you don't think about, that you won't ever find or figure out." Seeing that his words had gotten them thinking he kept pushing, "The ultimate category are unknown-knowns, things that we don't know why we know them; There are many of these, I used to have a bunch of them until one day I figured out why I know so many things I shouldn't… It was because I had gone through the 'gate of truth.'"

Eyebrows raised between his two teammates, he took this as a sign that they had no clue what he was saying, "The gate of truth is the gate that all things must pass through during the transcendence of life to death, when I went inside I was standing in darkness, it was nothing and yet… it was everything."

"Everything?" Sakura asked, Sasuke's eye twitched at the concept being described to him.

"Yes Sakura, everything… Everything that you could ever possibly imagine learning, all in that place, you could learn anything, anything at all, it's simple… All you have to do… is die."

*cough, cough*

The three genin turned their attention to the doorway where a silver-spike-haired masked man stood while holding an eraser. "I was going to say that after the little prank I walked into a few moments ago, my first impression of you all… was that I hated you guys." Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura sweat-dropped at this until he continued, "But after the last part of that conversation I just heard I have to say, I think I like you guys now."

"Meet me on the roof in five minutes."

XxX

Naruto sat on the rooftop next to Sasuke and Sakura, he was very grateful that this time the jounin had the good sense to actually adhere to his own five minute time span. The masked man saw with his one exposed eye that his entire team had assembled so he began, "Alright, why don't you all introduce yourselves."

The trio looked confused, "What are we supposed to say?" Sakura asked, confused by such a vague request.

Kakashi gestured lazily, "You know; your name, things you like, things you dislike, dreams for the future, hobbies, things like that."

She still didn't get it, by now Naruto had to ask, "Well, how about you go first to show us how to do it?" Kakashi obliged his request, "Me, well I'm Kakashi Hatake, I like many things, and I dislike quite a few things as well, my dreams for the future… I don't quite feel like telling you all that, as for hobbies… I have many hobbies." All three thought the same thing, "That was pretty useless, all we really learned was his name…"

"Alright you, blonde kid, you're first, go ahead and tell us about yourself" Kakashi gestured to Naruto.

"Alright, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, I like instant ramen in a cup, and I really like the ramen from Ichiraku Ramen, I also enjoy training, and fighting Big Boss. I hate the three minutes you have to wait after putting the water into the ramen before you can eat it, and I also hate being underestimated and people who dislike others before they get to know them. My hobbies are fighting Big Boss, testing different flavors of ramen, and learning about Big Boss's 'science.'" He then stood up, "My dream for the future is to be the greatest Hokage, then I'll finally get some damn respect around this place."

'Well, he's grown up in an interesting way…' "Alright, next on down the line." He said, pointing at Sakura.

"Right… I'm Sakura Haruno, what I like, or the person I like is…" she blushed while looking at Sasuke. "My hobbies are…" As she blushed at Sasuke again, "My dreams for the future…" Repeat previous process with a squeal for added effect, Kakashi cut in at this point, "And what do you dislike?" She glared ahead, "Naruto!"

Naruto didn't really seem too fazed, "Join the club… seriously there's a club, they meet every Tuesday and Thursday down at the recreation center… I'm dead-ass serious isn't that weird?" He questioned to those around him.

Kakashi just continued, "Okay you, the dark one, you're the last."

Sasuke spoke through his hands, "My name is Sasuke Uchiha, I hate a lot of things and I don't really like anything, I don't have any hobbies and my dream for the future isn't so much of a dream as it is an ambition, I am going to restore my clan… and I am going to kill a certain man." At this point three different thoughts ran through the other's heads.

Naruto thought along the lines of, 'Hmm, okay that's not creepy at all… crazy emo motherfucker.'

Sakura thought, 'Sasuke is so hot.'

Kakashi thought, 'Just as I thought, he's still obsessed with killing his brother.' "Okay well that's good, you each have your own ideas and you're all unique. We will have our first team meeting tomorrow morning."

Naruto was excited, "Well what kick-ass mission are we going to be going on Kakashi?"

Kakashi looked at the boy, "You mean Kakashi-sensei?"

Naruto shrugged, "No I meant Kakashi, you haven't done anything to get my respect, as a matter-of-fact you're lucky I didn't nickname you yet."

Staring for a few seconds at the blonde he answered his question, "A task the four of us will do together, a survival exercise."

This surprised the three genin, "What? An exercise, are you serious?" Naruto said.

Sakura seconded him, "But, didn't we already go through this stuff in the academy? That's how we got here isn't it?"

Kakashi responded, "Yes, but this isn't like your regular average training."

Naruto stood again, "Why, What exactly is it?" Kakashi just began laughing, pissing Naruto off, "What in the blue hell is so funny?"

Kakashi stopped laughing to answer, "I could tell you, but you're not going to like it."

"Out of the 27 graduates who have just left the academy only 9 will actually be accepted as genin, the remaining 18 will be sent back to academy, in other words this is a make it or break it, pass or fail test… and the chance that you will fail is at least 66%."

The genin now had expressions reflecting their respective shock and discomfort over the situation until Naruto snapped, "I call bullshit on you Kakashi, Big Boss never told me any bullshit about a second test, and he damn sure never told me about having to go back to the academy! We worked hard to get here, so much shit has gone down since we started: Sasuke lost his family, Sakura fell in love, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named 'Cocknocker!' What the hell is the reason for a graduation exam anyway?"

That was just to select candidates who might be genin or not. This is how it is, I decide whether or not you go back to the academy, be at the designated spot tomorrow at 5 a.m. and bring your ninja gear.

'Fucking Kakashi, you better hope I do fail, because your ass is mine later.' Naruto thought.

'I can't be separated from Sasuke, this is a trial of love.' Thought Sakura.

"All right, that's it; you're dismissed, oh one more thing, don't eat breakfast tomorrow, or you'll puke." Ignoring the looks on his student's faces he shunshined away.

Naruto broke the respective silence between the team, "Well, that sucks… Anyone want to try and figure out what's going on." Seeing Sakura still focusing on trying to get a date with Sasuke and seeing Sasuke just not care forced Naruto to sigh, "Didn't think so…" He said before heading back down the stairs to head home. "Kakashi won't know what hit him tomorrow, time to cut loose."

XxX

Naruto arrived at the training ground around 5 a.m. to see Sasuke and Sakura already waiting, being cordial he greeted his to-be allies, "Sakura-chan, Sasuke, good morning."

"Hmn"

"*yawn* Good morning Naruto." After standing in silence for a second Sakura decided to engage in conversation, "So what do you think Kakashi-sensei's test will be, I hope it's not too hard."

"Hmn"

"I don't really care, as long as I get to make some boot-to-ass contact with Kakashi's conniving ass I'm good."

"I was talking to Sasuke-kun Naruto!" Naruto raised his own voice, "Kami, bi-polar much? And he answered you, he said 'hmn,' take that as you will right Sasuke?"

"Hmn"

"You're a well of communication tactics teme, don't go changing… Damn this is boring."

Four Hours Later

"Hello everyone, how are you this morning?" Kakashi waved while eye-smiling, not paying attention to the three killing intents forcing themselves on him.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura and Naruto shouted, "Kakashi you'd better have a damn good reason for being four fucking hours late!" Kakashi just shrugged, "Sorry… I got lost on the road of life." Naruto glared at him, "Well next time bring a damn map."

"Alright kids gather around," as the kids walked closer he went on, "Today's test will be to take these two bells from me; you have until noon to each get a bell or else you will be tied to that stump and forced to watch the rest of us eat our lunch." He heard two stomachs growl and turned towards Naruto, "Naruto, I thought I said not to eat breakfast this morning?"

Naruto smiled sheepishly while Sasuke and Sakura glared at him, "Yeah about that… I forgot, my bad guys, but what were you saying Kakashi?"

Kakashi continued explaining the test, "Anyway, you can use any means you deem fit to obtain a bell, remember to come at me with the intent to kill."

Sakura was concerned by this, "Are you sure about that Kakashi-sensei? We don't want to hurt you."

Naruto snorted in disagreement, "You don't want to hurt him, but I do, Making me wait for a combined seven-plus hours over the last two days, do you know how much shit I could've done with seven hours? A lot of stuff."

Kakashi seemed unconcerned, "Big-talkers are usually the weakest ones; class-clowns, dead-lasts, failures."

Naruto picked his ear waiting for Kakashi to finish, "You done? Because I've heard the same shit for years let's fight!"

Sakura took notice of something, "But sensei, there are only two bells, that means that one person won't get one." Kakashi eye-smiled at the girl, "Very good Sakura, yes this test is designed so that at least one of you are guaranteed to fail and go back to the academy. I did say after all that there was a 66% chance of failure, you have three hours to get a bell… ready?" The three young ninja had stone-hard looks on their faces, "Very well… Begin!" Kakashi shouted as the three jumped away.

After a few moments he found that he could barely sense them, "Well at least they know how to hide properly."

He heard a shout coming from none other than Naruto, "Kakashi!"

The one-eyed jounin turned his head to find Naruto standing right next to him, "You know you're a little weird compared to the others."

Naruto shrugged, "Weird doesn't mean better or worse, it just means different, so… can I have a bell?"

Kakashi's visible eyebrow raised, "Nope, but nice try though, I don't think I've ever gotten that one before."

Naruto set himself in his high muay thai stance, "Alright, but just remember, I tried to do this without all of the violence." Kakashi reached into his weapons pouch and pulled out a little orange book, confusing Naruto, "What are you doing with that book?"

Kakashi scoffed, "Isn't it obvious, I'm reading to see what happens in the story, don't worry about it, you're so weak I probably won't even need to stop reading."

This caused Naruto to smile, 'This is awesome, I love being underestimated'

Naruto ran towards Kakashi, "Lesson one: Taijutsu, the physical art" Naruto started throwing wide looping punches and kick and Kakashi just dodged every attack, Naruto came close with a high jumping knee but he just got swatted away.

Continuing the fight, Naruto switched to capoeira style dancing low kicks and sweeps, none of which made contact with Kakashi. 'Damn it, he's way faster than Big Boss, I have no choice, I have to use it, I just need an opening.' Naruto threw a high looping roundhouse kick that utterly dodged by Kakashi who was now behind him.

"You shouldn't let your opponent get behind you all the time," Kakashi said in a crouch with his hands in the tiger seal.

"Naruto look out, he's going to kill you!"

"Too late, Konoha Secret Taijutsu: Sennen Goroshi (One Thousand Years of Death)!" Kakashi then shoved his fingers held in the seal into a very unpleasant place on Naruto launching him in the air, Naruto screamed and cursed at Kakashi the entire flight.

"Damn you Kakashi, damn you! You bastard!" Naruto then landed in the river separating the training fields. 'That really did nothing to remedy the respect thing I told him about yesterday,' He thought while climbing out of the water.

Naruto had stayed submerged longer than he probably should have, leading Kakashi to walk towards the water to check, Sasuke took this time to launch his barrage of weapons at the white-haired man who used kawarimi and began to engage Sasuke in battle. As Naruto climbed back to his feet he saw Sasuke and Kakashi engaging in taijutsu, with Kakashi dominating thoroughly, as evidenced by his planting of a fist into Sasuke's stomach. Eventually Kakashi tired of fighting him sometime after the Uchiha launched a fireball at him. Pulling him underground up to his head, Kakashi turned to presumably hunt for Sakura.

Naruto took this as a sign to jump back into the fight, "Forget about me you masked child molester?"

That brash statement made Kakashi recoil quite a bit, 'Child molester? Who am I Orochimaru?'

That small opening was all Naruto needed to gather the nerve to test his new theory, 'Okay here we go, I'm either gonna look like a stud, or totally dumb right here.' Clapping his hands together, he slammed them on the ground causing a small flash of light, Kakashi never saw it coming. The ground jutted out right in front of Kakashi slamming into the man, unable to make a substitution he had no choice but to be thrown twenty-five feet backwards.

Naruto was beaming, "Yeah, surprised? Me too." Sasuke just looked at him in amazement as he continued talking, "Nice! I did not think that would work! Who needs doton jutsu when I can do that shit?"

Sasuke was still down when he snapped out of his trance to the sight of Naruto walking over to him, "Dobe how did you do that?"

Naruto walked up next to him, "It's a secret, Big Boss would kick my ass if I revealed too much, all you need to know is that it's called alchemy and only two people in this village can do it." Naruto looked over to where Kakashi had fallen only to see nothing, "Damn it, nothing is ever easy…"

He looked down and had an idea, "Hey Sasuke, how about we team up and fight him?"

Sasuke looked offended, "I don't need your help, I can beat him without you."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Yeah because you've done such a bang-up job so far, listen up," He crouched down closer to Sasuke's level, "Either I get you out now and we go look for Sakura and kick Kakashi's ass 3-on-1, or I leave you here, and keep fighting solo because without you I'll never be able to convince her to team up with me, so how about it?"

Sasuke thought about it for a moment, "What will we do when we get the bells?"

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know, I guess we can all fight over them later, but if we don't team up we'll never get them."

Sasuke finally relented, "Okay fine, let's go, dig me out."

Naruto chuckled, "Dig? Didn't you just see what I did a minute ago?" He clapped his hands together for another transmutation and placed them on the ground, shifting earth out of the way, freeing Sasuke. "Let's go find Sakura, we don't have much time left."

The duo found Sakura a minute or two later unconscious on the ground, shaking her awake, she was surprised to find the two together. "Sasuke-kun you're okay! But what are you doing here with Naruto?"

Naruto nudged Sasuke to speak, knowing he'd get through to her, "Sakura, Naruto has a plan to beat Kakashi but we'll need your help, just the two of us won't work."

Sakura looked on in disbelief, "Naruto? Bottom of the class Naruto came up with a plan?"

Naruto took offense to that, "Yes Sakura yes, I hate schoolwork but I am damn good at battlefield tactics, so are you in?" She thought about it before Sasuke spoke up, "You could always go fight Kakashi alone if you aren't."

Sakura grimaced, "Okay, I'm in, now what do we do?"

Kakashi had been waiting by the posts ever since he had caught Sakura in Narakumi no Jutsu (Hell Viewing Technique), chuckling at the memory, "I thought she was a genjutsu type, oh well." All of a sudden shuriken flew from the forest to his right, as he dodged it he saw it coming from the back, dodging again he realized it was coming from all around him, rushing in the direction of a barrage he found Naruto hidden in the foliage, as he tried to retreat Kakashi grabbed him by the front of his shirt, bringing him to eye-level, "That was a decent trap you set Naruto, unfortunately I dodged all of your attacks." Kakashi eye-smiled at the boy who in turn had a smile of his own.

"You'd think so wouldn't you?" Just as Kakashi was about to ask what he meant he heard Naruto say one word that made his eye widen, "Boom."

Kakashi barely escaped the explosion with a kawarimi, 'What's with this kid? He can manipulate earth without hand signs and he can make kage bunshin… exploding kage bunshin!'

With that the forests seemingly emptied out, Naruto's bunshin filled the field with devilish smirks on their faces, as one cried, "ATTACK!" And that's when all hell broke loose. Clones charged Kakashi at all angles, after destroying a few and escaping the resulting explosions he remembered that they were exploding bunshin, and tried to retreat to the woods and regroup, as he neared the tree-line a tripwire sent a barrage of kunai at him.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Style: Great Fireball Release)!"

Leaping to the left he saw that he had jumped into the path of Sasuke's fireball, making another quick kawarimi he stumbled over another trap, launching more kunai and shuriken at him, 'Kami what have I gotten myself into, these kids might actually end up killing me!' Grabbing two of Naruto's clones he threw them at Sasuke, before they reached him however he heard a clap followed by the land surrounding Sasuke to rise, forming a protective wall around him from the explosions. Sakura had finally moved from the background and began bombarding Kakashi with weapons from afar while Naruto, Sasuke, and Naruto's remaining kage bunshin engaged Kakashi close range. Kakashi was beginning to just contemplate surrender, as he had no clue how much longer he could fight like this against these kids without hurting them too badly.

RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!

"Oh, well it looks like time is up and you all failed to obtain a bell in the allotted time-slot." Kakashi eye-smiled to the genin.

Sasuke looked angered, Sakura looked dejected, while Naruto was grinding his teeth together after dispelling his remaining clones, "Damn it, damn it, damn it! So close, just a few more minutes, he couldn't have possibly kept up with that pace for much longer!"

The three genin walked towards the posts when Naruto spoke again, "Damn it, I'm sorry you guys, maybe if I had more clones we could've gotten him."

He punched the ground in frustration, Sakura walked up and put her hand on the crouching boy's shoulder, "No Naruto, it wasn't your fault, I had all of the weapons, I could've set some more traps before engaging in the battle." She said taking the blame for the failed plan.

Sasuke then walked over, "No, I could've used way more fireballs against him, I was your support, I was on the attack far less frequently than you, I wasn't as much of a factor as I should have been."

Kakashi saw the three teammates taking the blame for one another, but he still had one test left to give them, "Actually you all did so well that I will allow two of you to pass… Now the only issue is which two should it be?"

He watched the genin look at one another nervously before once again Naruto was the first to speak, "Let Sasuke and Sakura pass, it was my shoddy plan that led to all of us using so much time to set up the traps and get into position, we could have done something that took less time, and besides I'm used to adversity like this, it's just a setback; I've been screwed over by life far worse than this." He said while clutching his right arm.

"No, Naruto," Sakura blurted out, "I should go back, you were the one who actually came up with a plan, and you and Sasuke were the ones handling all of the heavy fighting, I was just your long-range support; I didn't really carry my weight… let me go back to the academy…" She finished while lowering her head.

"Hmn," Sasuke said, "You two can't be serious…" He continued, getting Sakura and Naruto's attention, "Sakura if you hadn't set your traps and backed us up it would have been near impossible to catch Kakashi off-guard in a straight fight, you took the wind out of his sails a few times with those trip-wires." She brightened up, "Naruto, if you hadn't tried to pull us all together back there we would have just kept fighting him one-on-on and we wouldn't have gotten a bell anyway, not to mention that weird power of yours caught Kakashi slipping a few times, besides, I'm an Uchiha, one more semester in the academy wouldn't hurt me too bad."

All three genin smiled at each other when Kakashi spoke up, "None of that will be necessary, because you all pass."

"WHAT!"

The kids all yelled at Kakashi before he explained, "Yes, this entire scenario was a test of teamwork, how well you could work with one another under less than desirable conditions, such as an enemy pitting you against one another and I have to say, after the rocky start you all pulled together magnificently." His praise gave all of the genin smiles, "I mean, that plan was brutal, a few more minutes of that and I think would've just quit to save my own skin." Naruto rubbed his nose in modesty.

"Come here, I need to show you this stone." It was then that the kids noticed the large marble slab in close proximity to the posts.

Naruto decided to comment, "Wow, that was here the entire time? I'm glad we didn't blow it up during the fight."

Kakashi smiled at the boy, "I am too Naruto," He said before turning serious, "This stone has the names of countless Konoha shinobi inscribed upon it, they are heroes of this village."

Naruto cut in again, "Wow really, I want to be on this rock one day, that's cool."

Kakashi shook his head, "No Naruto, I don't think you want to be on this stone, the names on this stone are the names of those who have died in the service of our village." Naruto gulped before Kakashi concluded his speech, "Remember, in the ninja world those who abandon their mission are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are lower than trash."

Eye-smiling once more at his new students he spoke again, "You all pass, as of now Team 7 will begin missions tomorrow." In response to this Naruto and Sakura cheered while Sasuke gave a satisfied smirk. As the team walked back into town together Naruto took this moment of spiritual team bonding to sucker-punch Kakashi in the stomach with his auto-mail arm.

In a strained voice Kakashi asked, "*groan* Naruto… what was that for?"

Naruto gave a smug grin while standing above his fallen sensei, "That? That was for shoving your fingers up my ass during our fight, you had to know I was going to get your ass back for that bullshit right? 'A Thousand Years of Death' not so funny now huh?"

"(Groan)"

"That's what I thought, see you tomorrow Kakashi-_sensei_…" Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura continued their walk while Kakashi remained on the ground for twenty more minutes.

**Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am, chapter 5 is in the motherfucking books, I'm kind of shaky when it comes to my feelings on how I interpreted the bell test, but if I tried to rewrite it I'd just fuck it up worse. I hope my fight scene descriptions are up to snuff, I think I did well but who knows…**

**As always my now loyal (I assume) readers; leave your reviews, constructive thoughts, questions and what-may-have-you… or not, I'm still writing and posting this bitch regardless, feedback and comments are just bonus.**

**To my supporters, thank you for the support, I will keep putting 100% into this story, unless I get injured or high, if so it'll be roughly 86% as chapter one is evidence to.**

**To my detractors… For the last time, no I don't have your motherfucking money fool, get a job, and no my car is not for sale damn it!**


	6. Crazy is Relative

Disclaimer, I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did then Naruto would smoke weed because that motherfucker needs to take the edge off in his life. Seriously dude, who the fuck deals with heavy shit like that when you're 16? You have to save the entire continent, kill your 'best friend,' keep a homicidal demon in your belly, AND you don't get laid; someone is on the eternal shit list I see.

**Chapter 6: Crazy is Relative**

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

CRASH!

Naruto had just disposed of his alarm clock by pitching it across the room, "Piece of shit… I need a clock radio…" Another day in the life of Naruto, "Blank is fucking right, alarm clocks are evil, damn it Big Boss didn't wake up." Rising to his feet in his sleepwear, a simple pair of pajama bottoms and a sleeve for his right arm, he left his bedroom and crossed the hall to Jushiro's room to find his white-haired brother asleep, 'Big Boss…' Moving beside his head, Naruto began slapping Jushiro awake, "Wake up Big Boss, Eiko and Blank are going to kick your ass if you make them late."

Jushiro shoved Naruto away and rolled over, "Ugh, fuck off brat, being late is my business not yours… go beat off." Raising his fist to start an early morning brawl with Jushiro, Naruto was broken from his train of action by a knock at the door.

Moving to the living room to open the door he was greeted by his brother's teammates, Blank and Eiko, "Hello guys, what's up?" He asked while standing in the doorway.

Eiko smiled and ruffled Naruto's hair, "We need Jushiro-kun, Mikhail-sensei sent us to get him today because he's always late, could you get him for us Naruto-kun?"

Naruto looked at the two teens in the doorway before turning to go get Jushiro "Lazy asshole," He said under his breath, "Yeah Eiko-chan I can get him."

Heading back into Jushiro's room he found him still asleep, 'Time for the big guns,' Shutting the door, he got right next to Jushiro, cupping his hands around his mouth he whispered, "Oh Kami Big Boss! Eiko-chan said she's taking a shower in our bathroom!"

Jushiro shoot up with a drop of blood coming from his nose, "Eiko's what now!" He said while looking around stupidly.

Naruto's attention was elsewhere, "Big Boss what the fuck! Were you having a wet dream about Eiko-chan!" He shouted accusingly.

Jushiro looked down in confusion to see a wet spot on his boxers, "What? No kid! I don't dig Eiko like that! And stop shouting that shit, we live in an apartment you know!" he said pulling Naruto into a headlock.

Naruto, straining to speak was still accusing, "I call bullshit on you Big Boss, how could you think about Eiko-chan like that? She's so nice to us."

Jushiro added pressure while ramming Naruto's head into the closet door, "Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Ramming his head with each word, "I wasn't dreaming about Eiko, and even if I was, so what? She's hot!"

"I'm glad you approve of me Jushiro-kun," The brothers turned to see a very displeased Eiko standing in the doorway with a mirthful Blank in tow, Jushiro tried opening his mouth to defend himself but was cut off, "I don't want to hear it Jushiro-kun, just wash up and get dressed so we can leave already."

She then returned to the living room, Blank then spoke, holding back the laughter, "Oh man, if every morning is gonna be like this then I think I'll be fine with picking your ass up every day, well done guys, that was fucking classic."

Jushiro slapped Naruto in the back of the head, "Oww Big Boss, what was that for?"

"That was for not telling me my team was here," After a moment of thought he slapped him again, "And that was for shouting that I was having a wet dream about Eiko, are you trying to get my ass whipped?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head while Jushiro grabbed a change of clothes and went to the bathroom. Naruto sighed, "Today's gonna suck…"

XxX

And suck it did; after Team Jushiro had left the apartment after a very awkward span of waiting on Jushiro, Naruto had tried to get ready for his day with a shower only to find that Jushiro had used all of the hot water. After an unpleasant cold shower, Naruto attempted to look for breakfast only to find that the brothers desperately needed to go grocery shopping. Debating on going to Ichiraku for a quick bowl or eight, Naruto saw that he was running close to being late for his team meeting that morning, but he should have known better than to actually show up on time, because Kakashi sure as hell didn't. Sitting hungry for three hours is bad enough, doing it while being belittled by your teammates is an entirely different slice of hell. Naruto thought that after the bell test he would get a little respect from his team, however after the high of success had died down it was like the academy days all over again; now weeks into their careers, Sasuke would brood and shoot Naruto down with insults and belittling his skill, along with Sakura, who would fawn over her superhero in the flesh and wallop Naruto whenever he would voice his displeasure. Due to the perpetually late Kakashi Hatake the only mission they could get was catching Tora, the bastard cat, the bane of Naruto's existence.

"Leader to team, do you copy?"

"Sasuke here, in range of target, over."

"Sakura here, in view of target, over."

"Naruto here, ready to move on target, over."

"Alright team move on target at my mark… Go!"

After a short six minute chase Team 7 had caught the cat after it had been cornered and decided to use Naruto as its makeshift scratching post. After returning the target to Ninja HQ the team came to understand exactly why Tora ran away so often. Team responses ranged from pity to outright humor from Naruto as he felt the cat was getting what it deserved.

"Alright Team 7, for your next mission you can either: Help weed an old man's garden, pick up trash, or-"

"No, no, no, hell no!" Naruto shouted at the Hokage, "Jiji enough with the bullshit missions; picking up trash, babysitting, what the hell man? What about all the kick-ass missions Big Boss told me he goes on? Fighting bandits, protecting people, sign me up for that stuff!" Despite the embarrassed look on Kakashi's face, Sasuke and Sakura pledged silent support to their loud, blonde teammate as they too were sick of the bonafide chores they were forced to run.

Iruka yelled at him, "Naruto! You're just a rookie genin barely into your career as a ninja, you have to do D-ranked missions until you build enough experience to go higher on the ranking chart."

Naruto scoffed, "Yeah, because picking up dog shit in the park is such an experience building assignment. Come on, just give us a shot at a higher ranked mission, we can pull it off."

Naruto began to pout as Sarutobi began to chuckle, "Okay Naruto-kun I can see you feel stringly over this; Kakashi, this is your squad, it is your final decision."

Kakashi looked at his students before answering, "I believe Team 7 is adequately prepared for a C-ranked mission."

Naruto and Sakura smiled while Sasuke began smirking, 'Finally, a real chance to test my power, I guess I should thank the dobe.'

"I guess you should meet your client, you may come in now!" A side door opened revealing a relatively large man with white hair and a goatee, it was quite obvious he was loaded off of drink. "What? These are the brats that are supposed to be protecting me? They look like a bunch of babyface brats, especially the stupid-looking short one in the middle."

"Ha, I wonder who he's talking about?" Naruto asked as his teammates moved in to show that he was actually the shortest, "Kiss my ass you old drunk, you're probably seeing double or something."

Everyone in the room looked mortified hearing Naruto insult a client like that until they heard the booming laughter from the man, "Ha ha, I like that, a little spunk in the kid eh? I'm Tazuna, super bridge-builder, I expect super-protection on this trip."

Kakashi stepped forward, "You have nothing to fear, my students are very good despite their age, and even if that isn't enough, I am a jonin, an elite ninja, we should be more than enough to protect you on your journey."

Tazuna spoke again, "Very well then, let's leave as soon as possible."

Naruto raised his hand and stepped forward, "Actually, I think we should wait until tomorrow morning."

The Sandaime Hokage looked intrigued, "And why is that Naruto-kun?"

"Easy Jiji, due to Kakashi being ridiculously f'n late as usual we didn't really get this mission until late afternoon, by the time we get moving it'll already be dusk, that's not really a good start time for a protection detail, besides, Tazuna here is hammered, and a sober target is easier to protect than a drunk target." A stunned silence filled the room at the amazement of the orange-vested shinobi's logic, "What? Big Boss's been doing these for two years, he told me about a few of them, and bitched about more than a couple."

Kakashi broke the silence, "Okay then, Team 7 will commence the mission tomorrow morning, everyone get your things together and be at the main gate by 9 o'clock tomorrow morning."

XxX

After the team had been dismissed with the order to meet up the next day for the mission Naruto had been wandering around town, he already had his gear packed so there was no need for that, and he wasn't hungry yet so there was no reason to go to Ichiraku's. Walking alone among the streets Naruto was lost in his thoughts, the Kyuubi hadn't really been on his mind since the night he had graduated, it wasn't really something he wanted to think about. He realized that if he had to tell anyone he had to tell Jushiro, he lived in the same place as him after all, but he was worried, how would he take it; would he hate Naruto too? Would he fear him? Would he up and leave? Just as his thought began slipping he felt a presence with him.

He simply shouted, "You know you might as well come out now, you can mask your signature really well, but I've been sensing people like you since I was a kid!"

Who he saw was not exactly who he was expecting to see, dark blue hair came from behind a corner, "G-gomen N-naruto-kun I-I-I didn't mean to…"

She trailed off. Naruto was slightly surprised, "Huh, Hinata? Nani? What are you doing here?"

He said walking to close the distance between them, as she spoke again, "I-I was just c-coming from the training field Naruto-kun when I saw you."

His face brightened up, "Well why didn't you just call out for me or something? I could've really used some company right about now."

She began blushing and apologizing, "G-gomen N-naruto-kun, I-I-I…"

Naruto began waving his hands wildly in front of himself, "No, no, no, I'm not upset, I just thought you would like some company walking, especially around here, It's not exactly the safest part of town."

Taking note of Naruto's gentle smile, Hinata was beside herself, 'Is Naruto-kun asking to walk with me? What's going on?'

Not sure how to take her silence, Naruto stood for a moment until his stomach broke the silence with a growl, "Uh I'm sorry," He said rubbing his stomach, "I haven't eaten all day today, it's starting to catch up with me I guess." Suddenly an idea hit him, "Hey if you don't have to rush home or anything, how would you like to come with me to eat?"

Hinata wasn't sure if this was real or not, 'Naruto wants me to eat with him? Like a DATE? Don't pass out, don't pass out, don't pass out…' Not trusting her voice at the moment she just nodded her head vigorously. Naruto took her hand, ignoring the bright red blush, and took her where? Where else? Ichiraku Ramen.

Walking in through the curtain, Hinata in tow, Naruto gave his usual spirited greeting, "Yo, old man, three bowls miso ramen to get started!"

Teuchi poked his head from behind his curtain, "Ah, Naruto, was wondering when you'd show back up, who is this?"

Naruto pulled Hinata front and center and introduced her, "This is Hinata Hyuuga, she was in the same class as me in the academy and I saw her today so I thought it would be a good idea to ask her to eat with me."

Hinata found her voice after Naruto introduced her, "Ano, hello sir, n-nice to meet you."

Teuchi smiled at the two before yelling Naruto's order to Ayame who promptly came out front to see the pair, "Oh, so Naruto brought a friend with him? What will you have today sweetheart?"

Hinata answered, "Um, I'll have a chicken ramen please." As the orders were taken and being made the two began talking, by which I mean Naruto would talk and Hinata would listen and chime in every once and a while. The two talked about how things had been going for themselves since graduating, Naruto talked about his team, the bell test, embellished immensely of course, and the training he'd been doing. Hinata just made comparisons between what Naruto had done and what her team had done, keeping her roles in their endeavors out of the conversation.

Eventually after Hinata had finisher her bowl and Naruto had finished his sixth it was time for him to leave, "Well I'm sorry Hinata but I have to go, do you need me to walk you home?"

Once again, Hiinata's perpetual blush began acting up, 'Naruto-kun wants to walk me home? This can't be a dream can it?' "H-hai N-naruto-kun." Smiling at her he began leading her to the upscale part of Konoha.

The two genin walked in silence, Naruto because he had run out of things to talk about, Hinata because she was enjoying the moment and trying to distinguish if it was a dream or not. Eventually they ended up near the Hyuuga compound, "Well Hinata, I had a good time talking to you tonight, you're really good company. We should do it again sometime, I'll see you later alright!" He turned to return to his apartment, leaving Hinata in a stupor by her front gate, 'He actually wants to do this again!' Walking inside the compound she somehow managed to avoid any single Hyuuga on the way to her room, upon arrival she promptly passed out on her bed.

XxX

Arriving back at his apartment he found his brother on the couch watching television, an old kung-fu movie set in black and white on their shitty TV. Suddenly his thoughts of earlier that day came raging back and Naruto decided to explore that avenue before he had lost his nerve, "Hey Big Boss?"

Jushiro turned his head to pay attention to his newly arriving brother, "Ah runt, what's up? Need something?"

Naruto walked in and shut the door, "Actually yeah, I need your advice about something." J

ushiro nodded sagely about something before motioning Naruto to sit down next him on the couch, "I assume it's around that time that you'd be asking your big brother about stuff, so shoot, what you got for me little buddy?"

Taking a seat Naruto began speaking, "Big Boss, what if you had a secret to tell someone close to you, something big, not just a secret like 'I did steal your t-shirt and wipe up spilled milk with it,' or something like that?"

Jushiro thought for a second, "I knew you fucking took my shirt you little ba-"

"Focus Boss, focus!"

Jushiro calmed down and spoke again, "Well you have to ask yourself: how important is it really that this person know your secret?" Naruto nodded as Jushiro continued, "I mean you told me big secrets, like how you can transmutate without a circle, that was fucking surprising, scared the shit out of me."

Naruto chuckled, "It scared Kakashi too."

The two laughed a bit before continuing, "But yeah, if it's bigger than that then you have to say, 'is telling this secret really a priority?'"

Naruto casted his gaze downward, as Jushiro wrapped an arm around him, "It's pretty clear to me that whatever you have to tell, you have to tell it to me or else you wouldn't be so skittish right now," Naruto looked up in surprise, "It's okay, you don't have to tell me now, I'm still keeping some secrets from you, so you can keep this from me if you think it's so big; just remember Naruto, I'm your brother, I care about you, if I didn't then I wouldn't have saved you, I wouldn't have trained you, and I wouldn't be living with you now okay?"

Jushiro patted Naruto on his shoulder and went to stand before Naruto stopped him, "Wait… I think all I needed was to hear something like that from you, I want to tell you, and I have to…it wouldn't be right if you didn't know this…" Jushiro sat back down and set his full attention on Naruto, "Okay… so you know how in the academy they told us about the Yondaime Hokage battling the Kyuubi 11 years ago and killing it?" Jushiro nodded, not speaking, he was allowing Naruto to tell his story, "Well he couldn't really kill it, not completely, I got the real story from Hokage-Jiji; the Kyuubi is a being made of pure demonic chakra, killing it was impossible so he did the only thing he could, he sealed it…" Jushiro nodded, eyes widening, "He sealed it in a newborn baby, but only one was born that night." Naruto was still reluctant to tell him so he made him guess.

"Big Boss when is my birthday?"

"October 10th."

"What night did you save me from dying?"

"October 10th."

"What day did the Kyuubi attack?"

"Octo…"

Naruto cringed when he realized Jushiro understood, the two waited in silence for a few minutes before Jushiro spoke, "Huh, well that makes sense I guess, I did always wonder what that fucking tattoo on your belly was…" Naruto looked at him incredulously, "Yeah kid it does, I always wondered why those people tried to kill you, now I understand, I don't agree but I understand."

Naruto looked on, "Boss, aren't you scared, mad, something?"

Jushiro shook his head, "No, why should I be? I didn't fight the Kyuubi so I don't care how scary it is, I didn't live here until 4 years ago so I don't care that he destroyed this city, and he didn't kill anyone I know so why would I even give a fuck; as far as I'm concerned it's actually a good thing you have it."

"What? How?" Naruto asked, "Because it's obviously the thing that saved your ass 4 years ago, and as long as you hold it then you're saving everyone's ass, so it's good."

Naruto looked like he wanted to cry out of joy, "Big Boss…"

Jushiro panicked, "Aww hell, no fucking tears okay? I told you I'm your brother, you can tell me anything; in all reality while it doesn't surprise me that much, I expected you to ask me something else."

Naruto was confused again, "Something else, what did you think I was going to ask you Big Boss?"

Jushiro rubbed his nose, "Well after the shit you pulled this morning with Eiko and the fact that when I went to Ichiraku to look for you a few minutes before you got here Ayame was so excited to tell me that you were eating with a girl, I thought you were gonna start asking me lady questions."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "What! Big Boss she was just a friend, and what are you saying? I'll never ask you anything like that!"

Jushiro smirked at his brother, "It's perfectly natural Naruto, from what Ayame told me she was quite cute… good choice little buddy, you got a girl without my help, *sniff* I've never been more proud of you…"

Naruto was almost foaming at the mouth, "I was not! She's just a really nice person, she was good company! I don't have a thing for Hinata like you have for Eiko!"

His veiled attempt at trying to turn the tables on his big brother failed, "I already told you, I'm not into Eiko like that, she a hottie but she's too high-maintenance for me; and why aren't you? She's cute, and she loaded, she's from the Hyuuga clan."

Naruto looked ready to pouce, "Seriously Big Boss, I'll kick your ass right here and now, shut up!"

Jushiro gave him another smirk and patted his brother on the head, "It's okay Naruto I'll stop, you should get to bed now, you have to get up early for your C-ranked mission right? And I left you something on your bed that you might find useful for your current issue." Jushiro then turned the TV back on and shooed Naruto away.

As Naruto entered his room and turned the light on he found an orange book on his bed. He noticed it was the same orange book that he often saw Jushiro and Kakashi with in their spare time. "Huh… I always did wonder what was in this thing…" Flipping the book open to a random page he read down a few lines.

"WHAT THE HELL BIG BOSS! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Jushiro was rolling on the couch with laughter, "Oh man! Ha ha, I love that fucking kid… so easy to mess with. Aww man… There's only one Naruto."

**Short chapter, yes I know, I needed a buffer before I started the Wave arc and this was it. It is cold as fuck outside right now, walking to my classes is a bitch; I'd fucking skip if I didn't have to show up for attendance, I don't even study… History and Psychology is retarded easy. No heat in the fucking dorms, what is this Auschwitz? I'm sneezing like hell but I'm still here for your reading pleasure. Yes, yes, your Paragon of Light, your port in the storm, your Superhero of Sexy, your Ayatollah of Awesome… I could do this for hours so I think I'll stop there.**

**As always, read on, the next few chapters should kick ass, leave your thoughts, concerns, comments, questions, flu remedies, whatever on the comments. Fuck Winter.**


	7. Do You Know The Enemy?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did I would have lawsuits up the ass right now because me, in my infinite wisdom, would attempt to strike while the iron was hot when it came to marketing and franchising Naruto. This would include making scale-working replicas of the ninja tools seen in everyone's favorite manga and anime. This would lead to countless injury and wrongful death lawsuits due to dumbass kids throwing knives and ninja stars at each other while jumping around in their backyards, trust me Kishimoto, I wouldn't have stopped at simply making those stupid headbands that sell like crack rocks.

**Chapter 7: Do You Know The Enemy?**

As the sun rose, Naruto had gotten dressed and grabbed his gear in order to meet his team and Tazuna by the gate. The mission had been postponed by Naruto in order for Tazuna to sober up the previous day, he doubted that would change anything however. In all actuality Naruto was glad that the Hokage had allowed the mission to be left for the next day, his much needed talk with his brother the previous night had put him at ease; at least if no one else would accept him for his burden, he was glad his brother would. This also left him to think about his late meal with Hinata yesterday evening as well; he hadn't lied to Jushiro, he really did enjoy her company, and he had to admit she was kind of cute… maybe if he could get her to stop blushing around him he'd look more into it, until then he would have to reserve judgement. But he had to wonder how she would react if he had told her about his tenant, he hadn't spent enough time around her to get a good estimation, and even then as the code states, hope for the best but expect the worst.

He resolved to leave all of these thoughts for later as the main gate came into sight. He took notice of Sasuke sitting under a tree in the patch of grass off to the side, Sakura also nearby, surprisingly she wasn't bothering to get Sasuke's attention today, but that could be attributed to the time of day, the sun had just risen, give her a few hours, she'd be herself in a while. Tazuna, much to Naruto's surprise looked pretty normal, he didn't seem to be boozed out of his gourd this morning.

Walking up to the old bridge-builder he was greeted, "Hey kid, how are you feeling today?"

Naruto smiled at the old man, "Oh you know, it's just one of those days, the kind of day where you wake up and ask yourself, 'do I feel like being great today?'"

The early morning joke got a deep laugh out of the old man, "Well I'm ready to go, let's get this show on the road."

Naruto picked his ear, "Yeah, but we've got to wait for Kakashi-sensei before we can leave, he is the squad leader after all."

Once again Kakashi was not punctual, by the time he had finally shown himself Sakura and Sasuke were fully awakened, with the former being energized enough to begin conversing with the other. Again, according to Naruto's ears, the gist of the conversation went as follows:

"Sasuke-kun this is so exciting, we finally get to leave the village isn't it great?"

"Hmn"

"We'll be in an entirely different land, exotic, scenic, isn't it romantic?"

"Hmn"

"I wonder how long we'll be gone for, who knows what could change by the time we return? *giggles*"

"Hmn"

Fucking master orators of their generation no?

Naruto had taken to trying to bond a bit with Tazuna, he started telling Tazuna about his life in Konoha and a few of his more entertaining experiences, leaving out the darker stuff. Tazuna found the blonde to be entertaining in his own right, full of stories and a ridiculous amount of pent up energy. Around the time Naruto began telling jokes Kakashi had decided to make himself known, "Hello everyone, good morning." He eye-smiled, getting four glares in return.

"You're late!" Naruto and Sakura shouted at the man, "Well, I was half-way here when I realized that I forgot to flush my toilet this morning so I turned back to flush it, I don't want to leave a ring in my toilet."

Naruto sweat-dropped, "Kakashi that's gross, I can't tell if you're lying or not, I kind of wish you were because I really didn't need to know that shit…"

Sakura wasn't as low-key, "Sensei that's disgusting! I'm with Naruto on this one, we really didn't care about that!"

Sasuke seemed indifferent, "Whatever, can we just get going, we've been ready for hours."

"Of course Sasuke, Tazuna-san, are we all ready to leave?" Tazuna looked towards the masked man, "Yes we're all set here, let's get moving."

XxX

The next couple of hours were quite boring, Sakura had continued to pester Sasuke, Naruto had tried to strike up some form of conversation with his teammates but was rebuked at all attempts, while Kakashi just walked along reading the orange book that Naruto had come to despise after Jushiro's heinous actions the previous night, "Kakashi?" Naruto asked moving alongside him.

Kakashi's eyes never left the page, "Yes Naruto, what do you need?"

Naruto fixed him with a hard stare, "You and my brother both read that crap."

Kakashi raised his gaze over his book to look at the boy, "Really? Your brother has good taste then."

Naruto exploded, "Good taste? It's porn! How can you read that smut with a straight face? You and Big Boss can look at that damn thing for hours!"

Sasuke and Sakura had moved closer to the other two ninja out of curiosity to Naruto's yelling, "What are you two yelling about?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto pointed at Kakashi accusingly, "Kakashi over here gets his rocks off by reading nasty books!"

Sakura shot him a distasteful look, "Sensei is he serious? Is that really what's inside that book you read?"

Kakashi tried defending himself, "Well it has a pretty good story."

Naruto cut back in, "Yeah, in between all of the heavy petting and couples doing the do!" The remaining two genin simply floated to the back of the pack silently.

A few more hours had passed Sakura was now talking with Tazuna trying to find out about the Land of Waves, the destination of the escort. Naruto had once again become bored so he began to sing a chorus that he knew very well,

"You're nobody  
till somebody  
kills you…."

"You're nobody  
till somebody  
kills you…"

This got him a few concerned glances from those around him, "What?" No one spoke up as they kept walking. A while later the group came across a puddle in the road, Naruto took a glance at it and contemplate splashing in it, but figured it was too childish for this situation. After walking a good distance from the puddle it exploded as two masked figures launched out at Kakashi, surrounding his body with a spiked chain"

"One down"

The two men pulled on the chain, splitting Kakashi into bloody chunks. Sakura screamed in horror at the sight of their sensei being eviscerated within seconds, Tazuna turned so pale, it looked as if he would faint.

"Three to g-"

Naruto had cut off the man's morbid gloating with a hard right to the body, said punch had sent the man flying which in turn took the man attached to him careening with him. As the two came to a stop near a tree Sasuke now sprang into action, throwing a shuriken through their chain which embedded itself in the tree he threw at kunai at the shuriken to force it in deeper. "Damn brats…" The men said in stereo as they broke off their connection and charged at the boys dividing up the battle among them.

Sasuke dodged the man's clawed glove swipes, finally leaping back to create some space; as the man leapt at Sasuke to re-close the distance he leapt to the side and kicked him in the side of the head. "Grr… You little bastards think you can fight."

Sasuke smirked at the man's agitation towards being handled by a kid, this time he took the offensive and rushed in; intentionally missing with a kunai toss, forcing the ninja to dodge, he used the opening to catch the man flat-footed with a side-kick to the sternum. Upon hearing the air rush from his body, Sasuke leapt in the air with his leg still extended cocking it upwards during a frontflip, he brought it down upon the man's collarbone, effectively separating it. Leaping back once more while hearing the man swear in pain he finished him off with a jumping roundhouse kick to the side of the head, knocking him unconscious.

"Hmn, that wasn't too tough…" 'How did the dobe do in his fight?' As Sasuke turned his head he got his answer, Naruto had mounted his opponent, he was sitting on the chest of his attacker bouncing his head off of the dirt path trying to extract some answers from him. "Dobe…"

Naruto looked over to Sasuke, "Yeah?"

Was it as easy for you as it was for me?"

Naruto gave him a foxy smirk.

_(Flashback (5 Minutes Ago)_

_Naruto's attacker rushed in for a quick kill, Naruto side-stepped his attack and threw a low sweeping kick to the leg, tripping him up and sending him off-balance falling to the ground, however the man rolled through back to his feet. Naruto hopped around on his toes shaking his shoulders out waiting for the mystery ninja to attack. He was obliged as the man resumed his assault, again Naruto dodged every stroke of his clawed hand, staying in front of him the entire time; the reason for this was that for every swing the man took Naruto would pop him with a counter jab to the face._

_Showing his frustration at his failed assault, after a failed looping swing he reached to the ground and threw dirt in Naruto's eyes, "You cheating fuck!" As Naruto rubbed at his eyes the ninja took a stab at Naruto's body. At the last second Naruto dropped his right arm to block the stab._

"_Too bad you little fuck, you may have stopped a vital attack but even this stab to your arm will be fatal, my claws are coated in poison!" _

_Naruto smiled at the man while holding his block, "Huh, well that's good to know." _

_The man raised an eyebrow in confusion, a sudden movement from Naruto snapped the man's claws as he recoiled in disbelief, "What! How could, why aren't you dead?" _

_Naruto ran in and punched him dead in the face with the right hand, "I could tell you… but I don't think you'd believe me anyway." _

_The man attempted to return to his feet until Naruto stomped on his gloved arm and crouched down to meet him face to face, "Now let's have a little chit-chat shall we?"_

(End Flashback)

"Pretty much…"

Sasuke took note of what Naruto was doing, "What are you doing dobe,"

Naruto went back to his previous action, "I'm trying to interrogate this motherfucker but I don't have anything to do it with." Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Okay, I have one idea… but it's way too painful." Sasuke huffed, "Fine teme, I'll do it, tie this asshole up while I get the stuff." Sasuke did as he was asked just as Naruto came out of the forest. He dragged the ninja to a stump back in the woods and placed two acorns on it.

"Okay, now pretend that these are your itty-bitty-kitty punk-ass balls," Naruto pointed to the acorns, "This is my fist…" He raised his right hand above his head and hammerfisted the acorns on the stump, putting a good sized hole in the stump, needless to say the acorns were destroyed. Naruto smirked devilishly at the man, "Get the picture…?" The man had a terrified expression on the visible portion of his face.

Three minutes later Naruto returned to his teammates, Sasuke was talking to Tazuna who was leaning against a tree trying to get a hold of himself, Sakura was pacing, still in disbelief over the situation. Naruto walked over to her and grabbed her shoulders to look into her eyes, "Sakura-chan please calm down, the fight is over, I'm alright, Sasuke's alright, you're alright."

She stopped pacing but she had tears in her eyes, "But Naruto… Kakashi-sensei!"

"Yo."

All four heads turned to see Kakashi waving at them from down the road. "Hi everyone," He eye-smiled at the group, "I see you handled everything here, you didn't need any help after all."

Sakura looked as if she had seen a ghost, "B-but y-y-you, you died, you were cut to pieces!"

Sasuke and Naruto deadpanned, "Kawarimi and henge…"

Kakashi smiled again, "Correct, boys you two did an exceptional job of handling the situation, you both dispatched your opponents quickly and decisively, good work, better than I expected." He walked up to Sakura, "Sakura, good job protecting Tazuna, but remember… look underneath the underneath." He pointed to a pile of splintered wood, she dried her tears and nodded.

"Now then Tazuna-san…" Kakashi said while narrowing his vision on the bridge-builder, "Do you know why these two attacked you?"

Tazuna began to sweat until Naruto raised his hand, "Uh Kakashi I think I can answer that."

Kakashi asked, "How do you know that Naruto?"

Naruto picked his ear while answering, "Well while you were pulling your big disappearing act I was plugging douchebag number one for information in the woods; their names are Gozu and Meizu, the Demon Brothers of the Mist, they works for a business tycoon named Gato, their jobs were to kill old man Tazuna over here." Naruto saw the expression on Tazuna's face but he had to keep talking, "He also said that he and his brother, the guy Sasuke beat up, are underlings for Zabuza Momochi."

Kakashi thought it over, 'Zabuza Momochi… this mission is way out of the league of a genin squad…' "Tazuna-san, I cannot in good judgment allow this mission to continue, but my team has shown that they can handle themselves so I'll leave it up to them."

Looking at the genin, Naruto spoke first, "Let's keep going, we do actually know what's coming ahead so we'll be ready for it now, nobody can beat us Kakashi, believe it."

Sasuke spoke next, "What the dobe said, this was too easy, we're still fresh, we don't have a real reason to quit."

Sakura just nodded, this was all Kakashi needed to hear, "Okay then, let's keep going."

XxX

Gato walked into a darkened room, coming face to face with a man with dark hair and bandages wrapping his face. "The Demon Brothers failed, I'm starting to think hiring you was a mistake Zabuza…"

Zabuza just sat, "So… Kakashi was able to defeat them huh?

Gato shook his head, "No… apparently the kids he had with him defeated them, Kakashi didn't lift a finger. If I knew that this is all that hiring ninjas would bring me I would never have shelled out the cash to you in the first place, what a waste."

Zabuza lifted Kubikiri Hocho up to Gato, "We'll just see how Kakashi handles the 'Demon of the Hidden Mist.'"

XxX

After reaching a pier, the group took a boat from the mainland to reach the Land of Waves. During the boat ride Tazuna told them why Gato wanted to kill him; the bridge he was building to the mainland would cripple Gato's economic control over the island. He further guilt-tripped Team 7 into continuing the mission when he mentioned his daughter and grandson's reactions to his death.

Now the group was walking along the path to Tazuna's house, Naruto broke the monotony, "Man I miss the sun, it's dreary as hell out here, fucking mist…"

Sasuke responded, "Quiet down dobe, you said that there is still another guy around somewhere trying to kill us so keep your eyes open."

Naruto glared at Sasuke, "I am keeping my eyes open teme, but they won't be for much longer if we don't get to his house soon, I'm bored as hell."

Naruto could not shake the feeling that something was around them, his sixth sense towards sensing a sneak attack was blaring but he couldn't pinpoint from where. He felt a presence in the bushes nearby, trying to get the drop on whomever it was he threw a kunai. "Naruto what are you doing?" Sakura asked.

Naruto looked around, "I swear I felt something in there just now." They looked and saw a rabbit next to a kunai in a tree,

Sakura walked over and scooped up the spooked bunny, "Naruto calm down! You could've killed that poor little rabbit!"

Naruto took offense to this, "That goddamned thing scared the shit out of me, it's lucky I don't fry it up and make rabbit stir-fry."

"GET DOWN!"

A huge sword cleaved over their heads and implanted itself into the tree nearby, a tall shirtless figure in bandages appeared on the handle of the weapon, "Well, well… these are the brats who took down Gozu and Meizu huh?"

Naruto stood up to face their new foe, "Yeah, who the fuck are you?"

Kakashi shouted, "Naruto! This isn't a regular opponent… This is Zabuza Momochi."

Zabuza overlooked the scene and looked at Kakashi, "Well, if it isn't 'Copy-Ninja Kakashi.'"

Kakashi looked up, "Glad to see I'm so well known."

Naruto looked at his teacher, "Kakashi, you're famous?"

Zabuza elaborated for the boy, "Kakashi Hatake: also known as 'Copy-Ninja Kakashi,' the man who has seen and copied over a thousand jutsu."

Kakashi had had enough of the posturing, "Enough small-talk Zabuza, what are you here for?"

Zabuza grabbed his sword and hopped to the ground, "I'm here for the bridge-builder, hand him over and I'll let you and your brats live."

Kakashi shouted, "Protect Tazuna, I'll take care of this."

The three genin took up a defensive position around Tazuna to guard against attack. Zabuza laughed, "Ooh, a defensive formation, these brats can't stop me Kakashi, he did a few hand-signs, "Kiri Gakure no Jutsu (Hidden Mist Jutsu)." The mist in the area grew far thicker as vision dropped for all combatants, "Do you think a simple stance like this can stop a jounin? …Liver, lungs, heart, jugular…what should I go after?"

Naruto nudged Sasuke who nodded as they made eye contact, suddenly Zabuza appeared between the genin and Tazuna, crouched to attack. In response, Sasuke grabbed Sakura and leapt away as Naruto shoved Tazuna away and threw a kick at Zabuza that missed, Zabuza jumped back a few feet to regroup, "Not bad, your brats aren't completely useless, at least the two boys aren't. How did you know where I would be?"

Naruto set himself back into a defense around Tazuna, "Because I've dealt with cocky assholes like you my entire life," He started, shooting a short glance at Sasuke, "When guys like you brag about getting past my guard I can only assume that you're going to actually try the same shit you just said you'd do, it was easy, I just had to anticipate you."

"Hmm, this one looks pretty interesting Kakashi…" Zabuza said in a voice of clear amusement.

Kakashi stands in front of Sasuke and Sakura, "Naruto don't get cocky, this guy is a real monster."

Naruto raised his eyebrow, "What do you mean Kakashi?" Kakashi tensed up as he explained, "The graduation exam for academy students in Kirigakure used to be two students selected to fight one another to the death for the right to be ninja, but one year one boy wandered into the exam and slaughtered all of the participants, he wasn't even an academy student, this boy became known as the 'Demon of the Mist' Zabuza Momochi."

Zabuza straightened up in satisfaction, "Yes, can you imagine killing the person you lived with, trained with, ate with,"

Naruto began to freak out, 'No… no way, this guy, he isn't human. What do I do?'

"It felt so… Good!" Zabuza said rushing past Kakashi to kick Sasuke in the head, Kakashi began to engage Zabuza while Sakura got Sasuke over to where Naruto and Tazuna were standing to watch the fight. Kakashi pulled out a kunai to duel against Zabuza's Kubikiri Hocho, the two traded slashes and dodged one another's attacks. Watching the battle, Sasuke felt overwhelmed by the killing intent in the air, 'This is too much… the feeling of two high powered fighters with the intent to kill… It's too much…. I can't take it!' He raised his kunai to his own throat.

Naruto growled at him, "Teme, don't bitch out on me and kill yourself, what happened to that brash bastard who helped me beat up those two chunin?"

Sasuke looked towards Naruto who had a stone gaze on his face as he watched the battle, "Dobe how can you take this? These two are on a different level than those chunin, you aren't even flinching."

Naruto took a quick glance at Sasuke before focusing on the fight, "It's because when you get a steady dose of KI from the majority of the people around you for 11 years you kind of get used to it, only a truly monstrous amount can faze me now." Sakura just looked between the two boys before also watching the fight proceed.

"You're good Kakashi…" Zabuza said as he and Kakashi were clashing with their respective blades, neither able to get a decisive advantage, "Come on now, let me see that famous Sharingan of yours…"

Kakashi jumped back to lift his hitae-ate to oblige, "You want to see my Sharingan? You've got it."

Sasuke looked on in disbelief while Naruto said, "Sharingan? What is that?"

Sasuke answered, "Sharingan is a doujutsu kekkei genkai that allows one to copy the jutsu of one's opponent just by sight, it allows heightened sight that allows one to seemingly slow down the sight of opponent's attacks."

Naruto blinked, "Wow, I had no idea Kakashi was such a powerful ninja."

Kakashi was slowly taking the edge over Zabuza, his slashes with his sword were being easily telegraphed by Kakashi's Sharingan. Zabuza was slowly being pushed back to the lake nearby until he came up with a plan to throw him off. "You're strong Kakashi, I wonder how strong those brats of yours are, Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu (Water Clone Jutsu)!" A clone of Zabuza formed from the water and ran at the three genin, Kakashi broke off to intercept the clone. After cutting the clone down he saw Zabuza appear right in his path, he threw a kick that sent Kakashi flying into the water, "These brats will be the death of you Kakashi! Suiro no Jutsu (Water Prison Jutsu)!" Kakashi found himself trapped in a sphere of water.

"Kakashi-sensei!" The three genin shouted as they saw their leader trapped in a ball of water.

As Zabuza made another water clone Kakashi yelled out to his students, "Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto get out of here! This battle ended the second I was captured."

Zabuza laughed, "They can run if they want to Kakashi, I'll just finish you off and hunt them down afterwards, they can't get away!" The water clone charged and kicked Naruto straight back and out of the way, Sasuke pushed Sakura and Tazuna out of the way as Zabuza picked him up and kicked him to the ground.

Sasuke screamed in agony as Zabuza grinded his heel against his sternum. Kakashi could do nothing but watch, "No! Zabuza stop, they're just kids!"

The clone grinded his heel further as the real Zabuza spoke, "Wrong Kakashi, they're not just kids, the second they put on their hitae-ate they became shinobi, and they are in a world where people will kill them just because of where they're from. This is the life that they chose to live! That was their choice! To kill or be killed!"

"He's right Kakashi…" Naruto stood up, dusting himself off, with a blank look on his face, "This is what we chose to do, to live a life of kill or be killed, he's 100% right." Zabuza and Kakashi looked at the boy who continued to speak, "Well I didn't have a choice but Sasuke and Sakura did… I would've had people trying to kill regardless, but at least now… I have the power to defend myself and those that need my help!" Eveyone looked on in astonishment, "You say that this fight was over the second you got caught? Do you really think so little of us sensei? Remember, those who break the rules are trash… but those who abandon their comrades are lower than trash." He smiled while tightening his hitae-ate, "Now get ready you metro-sexual eyebrowless freakshow… It's time to fucking cut loose!"

Naruto ran towards the water clone to free Sasuke first, the clone swung his sword at Naruto before Naruto jumped over it and charged from behind, the clone threw a backfist that Naruto caught in his right hand, "Hey Zabuza, do you know all of the elements that make up water?" Zabuza raised his eyebrow at that, "Yeah you see they always said I was a lost cause in school, I was the dead-last of my class… But that's just because they never taught me or tested me on anything I was really interested in. You see I know all about the 118 elements of the periodic table… I know the things that are made up of them, and I know how to take them apart!"

Naruto threw the water clone's arm aside as he clapped his hands together and placed them on the water clone's body, "One part hydrogen, two parts oxygen, you can't beat me like this Zabuza! Don't underestimate me!" The resulting transmutation turned Zabuza's water clone into nothing but vapors.

Zabuza looked on in shock, 'What was that? He took my clone apart without making it take any damage… or did he? What was that technique?'

As if he could read minds, as he picked up Sasuke and took him over to Tazuna and Sakura he answered Zabuza's question, "That, Zabuza, is called alchemy, it is not a jutsu, a person like you can't possibly learn it, the only source of the knowledge keeps it with him at all times up here," He pointed to his head, "It's not me, but the one who it is really isn't into teaching, and I'm not much of a teacher myself."

Zabuza began gathering chakra for more Mizu Bunshin until Naruto spoke again, "You can make as many Bunshin as you wish Zabuza, the results will just repeat themselves, twenty fold!" He made the sign for the ram as a dozen Kage Bunshin filled the dirt path. "Time to pay Zabuza…" Each clone grabbed another Naruto and threw a Naruto at Zabuza and Kakashi, "Dodge this asshole! Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!"

Multiple concentrated gusts of wind shot towards Zabuza, who was forced to dodge and release Kakashi or pay dearly for it. Landing on the water and rushing for the nearest Naruto still swimming in the lake he shouted, "Damn you, you miserable brat! Die!"

As he took a swing with Kubikiri Hocho, Kakashi blocked the attack with the back of his glove, "Zabuza… Don't you lay a finger on my student!" Kakashi shot a glare of death at Zabuza, Sharingan spinning wildly.

As he said this the Naruto being accosted grabbed a hold of Zabuza around the waist and spoke, "Kakashi… you're gonna want to move…"

Kakashi knew what was coming and leapt back on-shore as Zabuza looked down, "What are you doing brat?"

'Naruto' smiled up at Zabuza, "Boom." The resulting explosion shook the surface of the water. As the water ceased to fall, a bloodied cut-up Zabuza stared back at Kakashi and the real Naruto standing back on shore.

Kakashi patted Naruto on the head, "Good job Naruto, thank you for freeing me from the water prison, now let me finish this." Kakashi rushed back onto the surface of the lake to engage Zabuza once more, as the two clashed they jumped back and began going through hand-signs with Kakashi moving slightly faster, "Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!"

"Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!" Kakashi called out the same jutsu at the same time, the two water dragons crashed into one another. Zabuza was beside himself, 'How could he be copying my movements so quickly? He's just a chimp, it's monkey-see-monkey-do with him!' Zabuza immediately went through a different series of hand-signs only to see Kakashi not only keeping up with him, but going faster, 'What is this? It can't be… Could he be-'

"Reading the future?" Kakashi finished for him just as he finished the jutsu, "Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu (Water Release: Giant Vortex Jutsu)!"

Zabuza was swept up in a giant blast of water, "No! Damn it, How the hell? Damn you Kakashi! Damn you and your blonde brat to hell!" Zabuza was carried by the water until he slammed into a tree, cracking quite a few of his ribs.

As he tried to move he found himself pinned to the tree by his limbs with kunai. "I can see the future Zabuza, and your future is death!" Just as Kakashi was about to move in to finish Zabuza a series of senbon stuck themselves in Zabuza's neck.

"It seems you were right, his future was death." A person in a hunter-nin mask jumped down between Kakashi and Zabuza, "I have to thank you for allowing me to bring this one down, I've been after him for a long time."

Kakashi began to relax, "It's no problem Hunter-san."

Naruto walked over followed by the remainder of their party, "Kami, you sure as hell took your sweet ass time getting here huh?"

The hunter-nin bowed, "My apologies, I was looking for my opening, thanks to all of you I finally got my chance."

Naruto felt suspicious, "Why did you even bother showing up? Kakashi was going to kill him himself."

The hunter-nin explained, "I desired the bounty for myself."

Naruto narrowed his vision as he got closer, "That's funny, because if you were a hunter-nin I figured you would smell at least vaguely of blood, you don't, you smell too pure, too clean, like herbs and mint, _hunter-san_."

Realizing that the cover was blown the ninja grabbed Zabuza and shunshined away. Naruto planned to give chase until he saw Kakashi collapse, "Kakashi! What's wrong?"

Kakashi was out on the ground, "Ugh, I over-used my Sharingan… it took too much chakra…"

Naruto was crouched next to him placing his hitae-ate back over his eye as Sakura and Sasuke ran over, "Sensei what do we do?" Kakashi moved his head to look at them, "We need to get to Tazuna's house, if I could I would send a summon to call for backup, but I have nothing to spare for the summoning."

Naruto stood up, "Don't worry Kakashi, I can handle that,"

Naruto reached into his vest pocket to pull out a long-range communicator, "Big Boss made this thing so that I could call him in situations like this, should I call him?"

"Yes Naruto, go ahead." Kakashi said. Naruto nodded before hitting a button and putting the receiver to his mouth.

"Yo, Naruto, what's wrong are you okay?"

"Yeah Big Boss I'm fine, my team just got attacked, Kakashi got hurt and we're gonna need your backup."

"You didn't fucking lose did you, because if you did and I see you I'm gonna beat the-"

"NO Big Boss I didn't lose, we kicked his ass, but he got away; go ask Jiji about my mission, tell him what's going on, tell him we've got ninja the level of Zabuza Momochi as our opponents. Mobilize your team and get here quickly, we don't really know when it'll start up again so don't fuck around ok?"

"Alright Naruto, stay alive, and keep your team safe, we'll be there as soon as we can."

Naruto pocketed his communicator, "Okay let's go, Tazuna can you carry Kakashi for us?"

He nodded, "Yes, it's the least I can do for getting you all involved in this." As he picked Kakashi up they proceeded to Tazuna's house.

XxX

After arriving in Tazuna's house and placing Kakashi in a futon to recover, Sasuke and Naruto fell out on the floor in exhaustion, "Ugh, Sasuke, you good?" Naruto said while laid out on the floor spread eagle.

"Yeah…dobe… just need to catch my breath, what about you? Zabuza beat you up too badly?" Sasuke said, not in much better condition than Naruto.

Naruto glared weakly, "Oh no, no, and look who's talking, after Zabuza left his footprint on your ribs you didn't get back into the fight; I should be the one saying you got beat up."

Sasuke scoffed weakly, "Whatever, dobe."

Naruto coughed weakly, "Kiss my ass… teme."

"Oh will both of you shut up?" Sakura said as she and Tsunami dragged two more futons into the room, "Seriously, you both don't have enough energy to stand but you can still argue, Sasuke-kun you got hurt pretty bad during the fight, Naruto you took your fair share of hits too, and all of those things you did had to take it out of you." As she pulled Sasuke into a futon and Tsunami pulled Naruto into one Sakura had to ask, "Naruto, what was that thing you did to Zabuza's clone back there, you said it wasn't a jutsu so what was it?"

Naruto looked at the pink-haired girl and took a deep breath, 'Well she's supposed to the genin with the most booksmarts, maybe she'll actually understand it,' "Okay Sakura, What I did was called alchemy, it requires one to have an immense understanding of all elements, of what makes all tangible materials tick, right down to knowing how to break a material down to its basest elements. Alchemy requires 3 steps: recognizing the base elements, breaking the material down to its basest elements, and reforming the material to your own will."

Sakura nodded in understanding while everyone else in the room looked lost before Sakura spoke to him again, "But Naruto wait, how would that be effective in a fight, I mean the way you say it doesn't make it seem like a tool for combat."

Naruto nodded, "Exactly, alchemy isn't supposed to be used to fight, it was meant as a way to try and transform common heavy metals into gold, but that didn't work, it could only change the base elements, the best that such a process could do was pyrite."

Sakura again nodded in understanding, "Fool's gold…"

"Yep, eventually alchemy was scrapped as a failed attempt to make precious minerals, but eventually Big Boss found a way to use it to fight; like what you saw with Zabuza's water clone, I broke it down to its base elements: hydrogen and oxygen, and it dissipated into the air. Imagine doing that, only to a human body." Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi's eyes widened in realization, "Yeah, since I actually understand what makes a human body tick right down its base elements I could do some pretty nasty shit to a person if I ever felt sadistic in a fight. Only I can fight like that though, me and Big Boss are the only alchemists we know of, and Big Boss can't just go up to somebody and do that."

Sakura looked confused, "Why not? Wasn't he the one who taught you everything you know?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Well yes and no… Yes in that he taught me the basics of alchemy like equivalent exchange, drilled the understanding of elements into my head and taught me about transmutation circles, and no as in the fact that when he taught me that stuff he didn't quite know what he was doing either so we were both just pretty much stumbling through the dark bumping into shit almost by accident. For example, I can transmutate without a circle, I didn't know I could do that until the bell test with Kakashi, that's my own thing. Jushiro has his own style of using alchemy in a fight but it isn't like mine, I think I can say that my style is more versatile, but I can't tell you too much about his style because if he knew that you knew how he fought, he'd figure out in a hurry that I was the one who told you how he fought, and then he'd kick my ass."

Kakashi spoke up next, "Why are you the only two that know of alchemy, if the Hokage knew you two could do this then-"

Naruto cut him off, "Jiji tried to get Big Boss to give him the notes on alchemy way back when he first came to Konoha, Big Boss didn't back down and told him to consider alchemy the equivalent of a clan secret technique, it's almost legally a kekkei genkai now. Personally I'm glad Jiji didn't get the notes, if he had the notes he would've made it an advanced technique, any yahoo that was considered an elite ninja could end up learning it. They wouldn't try to understand the science behind it, they wouldn't care about what destruction and chaos they could sow, they'd just consider it a high-class jutsu and abuse it. It could have ended up being given away in a treaty or an appeasement package and then it would pop up everywhere. Ninja of multiple villages using alchemy in battle… I can only imagine, can you possibly imagine a ninja like Zabuza using alchemy, or worse?"

The color of everyone's face drained, imaging such a ninja being able to do things like that was a mortifying thought, "Exactly, effects could range from increased casualties in battle to flat-out widespread genocide. Don't worry about that though, after Big Boss and I memorized all of the notes down to the letter, he destroyed them so that at least we won't be responsible for alchemic knowledge leaking out; the only way anyone will learn it now is if one of us decides to teach it… And that ain't happening."

Sakura had one more question that had popped up during his explanation, "Wait. Didn't you say that you had to have some kind of circle thingy set up to do alchemy?" Naruto nodded, "Well you just contradicted yourself Naruto, because you said that you don't use any circles to do it."

Naruto sat up to look at everyone, he was now surrounded by everyone in the room, they were listening intently to what he had to say, "Remember the day we were assigned to teams? How I went off on Sasuke about what he did and didn't know?" Sakura and Sasuke nodded, "Well if you remember what I said about the Gate, There was infinite knowledge within, one of the things I learned was how to transmutate without a circle. The knowledge I obtained was totally random, I still don't know exactly everything I learned that day, it's an unknown-known... And that's all I'm going to say about that, I'm fucking exhausted."

With that Naruto rolled over and went to sleep.

XxX

While Naruto was asleep Kakashi let the team in on the fact that Zabuza wasn't dead, he didn't wait for Naruto because he already knew this beforehand. Kakashi let them know that as soon as he could walk he would be training them for the rematch with Zabuza. Naruto had woken up in time for dinner, as he sat at the table and ate he noticed a little kid staring at him, when Naruto stared back he got up and left the kitchen, needless to say Naruto was confused.

After dinner a knock came at the front door. As Sakura got up to meet them she was greeted by a group of people led by a white-haired red eyed boy a few years older than herself, "Hello can I help you?"

The boy smiled back at her, "Why yes you can my dear, someone ordered a bushel full of awesome and I'm here to deliver."

Sakura tilted her head and asked, "What's a bushel full of awesome?"

The boy smirked and jumped back, making a circular motion with his hand encompassing himself and his companions, "I'm Jushiro Moyomoto, at your service, and this is my team… Now where's my punk-ass little brother?"

**Chapter 7 is in the books, and before I even get comments on it, yes I ripped the chapter title off from Green Day, it felt appropriate for what was going on; I also jacked the chapter title 'My Own Worst Enemy' from Lit. I'm really feeling the love from all of the positive comments I'm getting; it's the best drug in the world… besides weed… or project glue. It is about to go down like Nino Brown next chapter, Jushiro is finally gonna fight, and I still have to come up with a trademark alchemy style for him, Naruto is basically like Ed, he doesn't really specialize, Jushiro won't have the luxury of not having to use some form of a circle to fight, he needs a signature style.**

**Next chapter I hope won't be too predictable, I contemplated just killing off Zabuza here and now, but what's the fun in that, I still don't know if I'll kill him yet, the jury's still out on that. If you couldn't tell yet, I'm flying by the seat of my fucking pants, I have a few main plot points that I am definitely going to use, but right now the story structure is kind of like a skeleton, I will try to throw some curveballs out in future chapters as I am sure that a lot of what I have done has been predictable, I just hope my penchant for random swerves doesn't piss too many people off, I have enough enemies…**

**Review, comment, leave some ideas, questions, or pledge your eternal love and devotion to me… or not. Keep your gens tight, Kenchi out!**


	8. The Armory Alchemist

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist… I don't really know how else to say it… Isn't it enough torture that I actually acknowledge it? You heartless bastards!

**Chapter 7: The Armory Alchemist**

Sakura looked at the new arrivals without a clue how to handle the situation, "Umm, just a sec…"

Jushiro and his genin counterparts just smiled as Sakura ran inside. Blank spoke while they waited, "Well she's kind of cute."

Eiko decided to use that as a chance to take shots at Blank, "Wow Blank, if I knew you liked young girls I would have introduced you to my sister; she needs a man that can take care of her."

Blank sputtered, "Wh-what? Your sister is eight!"

Eiko gave him a smile, "I know."

Blank tried to cover his primary folly, "I meant that as giving her room for future growth! What is she eleven? twelve? She's three years younger than me, I'm fourteen! Fuck you Eiko!"

Eiko giggled while Jushiro tried to make peace maker, "Hey guys, you should chill out a bit, Mikhail-sensei is getting upset."

The trio turned around to see a large, built, pale bald man with black eyes dressed in a dark-red muscle shirt and black pants, instead of sandals he wore heavy combat boots and his hitae-ate was attached to his belt, he was turned to the side looking out along the coast. Eiko and Blank looked at Jushiro with disbelieving expressions on their faces, "Uh Jushiro-kun, how can you tell when Mikhail-sensei is upset?"

Jushiro smirked at the two, "I don't know, I just wanted you two to shut up."

"Alright who the fuck is here?" Naruto was heard by the team before he was seen, "I swear to Kami if bill collectors found me all the way out here I'll-… Big Boss! Wow, I didn't think you guys would show up so quickly!"

Jushiro smirked smugly "Of course, when I said my otouto was in trouble my team mobilized at the snap of my fingers."

Blank contradicted him, "You mean you ran all over town searching for us all and then pushed us all half-way here until you finally collapsed by the ferry?"

Eiko laughed as she put her hand on Naruto's shoulder, "Yeah Naruto-kun, Jushiro-kun burned the rubber off of his sandals getting us here, I've never seen Mikhail-sensei move so fast before!"

Naruto walked up to Jushiro, "Really Big Boss? You were really worried about me?"

Jushiro smiled at Naruto before slapping him in the back of the head, "Of course I was worried you idiot! You fought with a fucking jounin, you're a damn rookie genin! I'm actually surprised that you can even still walk straight right now."

Naruto rubbed his head, "When I said I was fine I meant I'm fine, and even if I had gotten my ass kicked I'd be over it by now."

"Child… can you take us inside now… It's dark outside, I'd rather not stay out here for long."

Naruto had to stare at the strange large man for a moment, "Yeah, of course mister…" He started warily, trying to feel out his name.

Blank answered for him, "This is Mikhail-sensei Naruto, and don't mind him too much, he doesn't really like talking very much."

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, come on in you guys." Naruto lead the team inside the house and took them to Tazuna, "Here's our backup old man." Naruto said, gesturing to the people behind him.

Jushiro stepped forward, "Hello sir, I am Jushiro Moyomoto; this is Eiko Tanahashi, Blank Nogami, and our jounin sensei Mikhail Florian, at your service."

Tazuna gave the four new arrivals an appraising look, "Well you certainly all look capable, but you have a lot to live up to when it comes to this old man. That blonde kid and their jounin were invaluable."

The entire team, with the exception of Mikhail smirked at the comparison before Eiko spoke, "Sir, if they were impressive then I hope you get to see us fight because we'll blow those kids away, we have way more experience than they do."

Sasuke scoffed at the table when Naruto remembered something, "Oh yeah, Mikhail, Kakashi is upstairs, I figure you're gonna want to talk to him to get an idea of the situation."

Mikhail nodded and went upstairs. Sasuke looked at the new team of genin in the room and spoke up, "You're our backup? And you think you're stronger than me? I'm an Uchiha, you all have no blood of worth."

Jushiro stepped up to him, "You're obviously Sasuke, the runt bitches about you all the time but now after meeting you I think I owe him an apology, how he hasn't lost all control and killed you yet I'll never guess."

Sasuke smirked, "What makes you think the dobe can hurt me?"

Jushiro raised his brow in irritation, "Brat did you use alchemy around him already?" Naruto nodded, "So you saw him actually fight for real and you still think you're better than him? Let me tell you something boy," Jushiro poked Sasuke in the chest, "As far as I'm concerned Uchiha is just a name, it means nothing to me… and until you actually get your Sharingan little boy you're less than nothing to me."

Sasuke tightened his grip to form fists and Sakura was about to step in and berate Jushiro when Eiko grabbed her arm, "Let me go, he can't say things like that about Sasuke-kun!"

Eiko shook her head and looked into her eyes, "You can't help him now, if he's stupid enough to fight Jushiro-kun he deserves what he gets."

Jushiro raised his eyebrows in amusement as Sasuke continued to shake in anger, "Are you really stupid enough to fight me here? I'm fresh, you just fought a jounin today!"

Sasuke's eyes darkened, "Shut up… You dare insult the name Uchiha? I should make you pay, I will make you pay!"

Naruto shook his head, "Sasuke… You really don't want to fight Big Boss, especially not now, he's right you aren't even fresh."

"SHUT UP DOBE!" Sasuke roared at Naruto.

Jushiro grabbed Sasuke by the throat and threw him out of the front door, sending him rolling into the front yard. As Sasuke tried to get to his feet Jushiro kicked him in his ribs, as Sasuke screamed in pain Jushiro gloated over him, "Aww… What's wrong Uchiha? The little boo-boo around your tummy too much?" Sasuke growled as he launched himself towards Jushiro, as Sasuke launched his punch Jushiro tilted his head to dodge the punch and shot a knee into Sasuke's body. Ignoring another cry of pain from the Uchiha he grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against a tree.

Ruby-red eyes met coal-black as Jushiro stared Sasuke down while choking the life out of him, "Alright listen up crotch-stain because I hate repeating myself, you may have gotten away with that big-willy bullshit against Naruto, but I am NOT NARUTO, that's his name; NARUTO, not DEAD-LAST, not DOBE… NARUTO! I'm not my brother, you act the ass around me and I will break you, Naruto didn't do it because he doesn't hurt comrades, well I'm not your fucking comrade, and I ain't such a fucking soft touch when it comes to douchebags like you." Sasuke's eyes burned with rage as Jushiro saw it, "Aww… Now the useless Uchiha is mad at me… Your little pre-school KI can't affect me. Naruto has stronger killing intent than you. You probably want to snitch to your sensei that I roughed you up, well let me help you with that, let's go bitch!"

With that he dragged Sasuke through the front yard, up the front steps, into the house and up the stairs while Sakura, Tazuna, and Tsunami looked on flabbergasted, Sakura looked to target Naruto for this, "Naruto your stupid brother hurt my Sasuke-kun!"

She yelled as she ran to take a swing at him, as she let her punch fly Eiko caught it at the wrist, "So this is how you both treat a teammate? One belittles him and calls him a dobe while the other is just a cheerleader for the first and tries to hurt their other teammate."

Sakura snapped at the older girl, "What do you know? Naruto's such a baka, we just put him in his place!"

Eiko narrowed her eyes dangerously, "And just where is his 'place?' Below you two? As far as I can see he's definitely above you in the pecking order, from what I can see you don't have a mark on you, you didn't even fight did you? At least the other kid has a few marks on him that shows that he fought, you're useless."

Sakura screeched back at Eiko, "What do you know, he's the dead-last of our class! He's lucky to be on a team with someone like Sasuke-kun to help carry his weight, he was probably lucky when he tricked Zabuza into freeing Kakashi-sensei!"

Eiko grabbed Sakura by her collar and brought her to eye-level, "Really? Well your dead-last went head-to-head with a jounin and saved your worthless lives while you two were cowering with your tails between your legs so what does that say about your stupid grading scale? And as for what I know? What I KNOW is that Naruto-kun is a sweetheart, and very strong, I've never seen anyone so small fight Jushiro-kun so evenly full-scale before, you should see them spar and see if you still think he's weak, hell maybe if you're lucky this time when he saves your worthless life you'll actually see him fight."

Sakura was still not swayed, "Why are you telling me this? Why are you defending that loser!"

Eiko slapped Sakura to the ground, "Because I've known him since he was six, he grew up fast and he grew up hard, harder than any of you and that made him strong… I've known him for so long I think of him as my otouto, as long as I've known him and Jushiro-kun he might as well be… To me and Blank, he's our family too, and that's why we won't let anyone talk down to him." Eiko walked towards Naruto and Blank.

Blank put his arm around Naruto as Eiko came over and ruffled his hair, "Come on kid let's go back into the house and calm your brother down before he wrecks the joint." Blank said.

Eiko took his hand and took him inside, "Yeah come on Naruto-kun, tell us all about the fight with Zabuza, I want to hear it." Looking at Tazuna and Tsunami, Eiko smiled sheepishly, "Gomen, we're really sorry about the door, we'll get Jushiro-kun to fix it right away!"

As the trio retreated into the house the two civilians took into account all that they had seen today, "Umm Tsunami?"

"Yes dad?"

"Don't ever let me hire a team of ninjas again okay?"

"Uh huh…"

XxX

Looking out the windoww of Kakashi's room Mikhail shook his head. Kakashi however was still bedridden, "What's going on out there Mikhail? What's wrong?"

Mikhail looked at Kakashi, "from what I've just seen, I'm surprised that that Naruto kid hasn't killed your other genin yet."

Kakashi looked confused, "Are you talking about the Kyuubi? Naruto hasn't had any episodes ever, you can trust him."

Mikhail shook his head again, "No not that, I know I can trust that boy, He's the only one on your team I actually do trust as a matter of fact."

Kakashi was still confused, "What? Why?"

Mikhail stared at Kakashi, "you'll find out in 5, 4, 3, 2-"

Jushiro kicked the door open, Sasuke still in tow, "Hey Kakashi! Is this your shit!" He threw Sasuke into the room at Kakashi's feet and left. Sasuke picked himself up quickly and left the room with a dark look on his face.

Kakashi looked up at Mikhail, "Do I want to know?"

Mikhail shook his head, "The reason I trust your student Naruto over the other two is very simple, he earned my team's trust, and he earned Jushiro's respect… And don't even want to know what he did to do that."

Kakashi gave Mikhail a serious look, "Jushiro Moyomoto… Is your student really that strong Mikhail?"

Mikhail looked out the window, "Allow me to put it this way, if Jushiro truly wanted something to happen, even I would be hard-pressed to stop him."

Kakashi looked at the ceiling, 'Naruto… Jushiro… What are you two really capable of?' "So we begin training them tomorrow right?"

Mikhail nodded, "Yes, they all need to be prepared, I do not think this is anywhere close to being finished. Get some rest Kakashi, you train your team, teach the Uchiha and the girl about actual teamwork, by any means necessary, I won't let your lack of a team dynamic get my squad killed."

Kakashi nodded, "And what about Naruto?"

"That child hangs around my team so much I'd be surprised if he didn't have any skill at working in a team, he fought alongside you against Zabuza did he not?"

Kakashi nodded, "That he did."

Mikhail walked towards the door, "Get some rest Kakashi and heal up quick, we're going to need you soon."

XxX

The fake hunter-nin sat next to a bed-ridden Zabuza, "You shouldn't have pulled all of those needles out like that Zabuza-sama, one of those might actually kill you for real next time."

Zabuza grumbled, "Whatever Haku, Kami you're brutal, I know you love seeing me in pain. And take that mask off we don't need it anymore, your cover was blown by that stupid blonde kid."

Haku removed the mask to reveal the face of a young girl, "I like this mask, it gives me good memories, and I believe the boy's name was Naruto."

"Whatever his name is he's a wild card. If I fight Kakashi again with him around who knows what he would pull next time. I need him taken out… Where is Raiga?"

Haku frowned at that name, "Raiga-san is outside in the common area, he's been pretty angry since he found out that you left to fight Kakashi alone, I wouldn't approach him right now, in your condition you'll be bed-ridden for at least five days."

"Then in five days we attack Kakashi and the bridge-builder all together, however I still need the blonde brat taken out before then." As Zabuza said that the door flew open.

Gato entered with his two bodyguards. "So this is the powerful 'Demon of the Mist?' More like 'Defenseless Kitten of the Mist.' I'm paying you good money Zabuza, you'd better-"

As he reached for Zabuza, Haku grabbed his arm, "Don't you lay a hand on Zabuza-sama."

Haku began putting pressure on the arm forcing Gato to shout, "AAGGHH! Stop! You're gonna break it!"

As his two bodyguards moved to attack a voice stopped them, "Oh, what's this Zabuza? Someone here wants to play with swords? I want to play, or maybe… these guys want a funeral?"

Gato's bodyguards turned to see Raiga entering the room, "Gato, good to see you, are you finally taking me up on that offer for a funeral? I'd love to perform the service for you."

Haku let go of Gato's arm as he fled back to his bodyguards and scrambled out of the room, "You have one week to finish the bridge-builder Zabuza! One week!"

Raiga turned to Zabuza and Haku, "What was that all about Zabuza? He seemed scared or something."

Zabuza shook his head, "Never mind it Raiga I have a job for you that you might enjoy, I need you to head towards Tazuna's house and find a blonde boy named Naruto, kill him for me would you, he might prove to be entertaining for you. You can kill anyone who gets in your way, but the blonde is your main objective, after you kill him you can leave, but he must die."

Raiga nodded his head, "Alright Zabuza, the only reason I do these missions for you is because doing them allows me to perform so many funerals, but rest assured Zabuza, I hate you just like all of the other 'Seven Swordsmen of The Mist' and one day I will kill you just like I'll kill the rest of them." Raiga then left the room.

Haku turned to Zabuza, "Zabuza-sama, I don't think it is really wise to keep Raiga-san around us, he might actually kill you one day."

Zabuza shook his head, "As long as I can keep giving him the chance to kill people, Raiga is as docile as a lamb, and besides, the day I get rid of him is the day we have to fight, with his techniques you and I would be at a disadvantage in that battle."

"To top it off he may just be the most insane man I've ever met, I almost feel sorry for the blonde brat… He's going to have to go up against Raiga Kurosuki of 'The Seven Swordsmen of The Mist.'"

XxX

"ACHOO!"

"Man, someone is talking some serious shit about me." Naruto said as Team 7 began walking through the woods with Team Jushiro.

Eiko moved behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Hmm, are you sure you don't have a cold or something Naruto-kun? You did say you fell in the water during the fight with Zabuza."

Naruto shook his head as Eiko let go, "No, I'm sure, I feel fine, I don't really get sick Eiko-chan."

The remainder of last night had been pretty much uneventful, Sasuke simply glared at Jushiro from a distance without approaching, as Sakura just stared at Naruto, who had been surrounded by Team Jushiro for the remainder of the night just laughing, talking and telling stories. Jushiro had eventually put Tazuna's front door up after throwing Sasuke through it and had joined the small party of his brother and friends. Even Tazuna and Tsunami became drawn towards the mirth being generated by the older genin and the blonde alchemist.

Team 7 still had a pretty tense atmosphere later that night so instead of breaking off into separate team rooms as most expected to do Jushiro grabbed Naruto and asked Mikhail if he could switch rooms with Naruto until things settle down, as he thought leaving Naruto with his abusive teammates for the night would do more harm than good. The stoic jounin agreed and bunked in Team 7's room for the night leaving Naruto to sleep with his brother's team.

After eating breakfast the next morning the two teams and their jounin sensei headed out to the woods to train for Zabuza's return. Mikhail broke his respective genin off from Kakashi as they already knew what Kakashi was going to teach his team today. "Alright team, today I will be training you on improving your chakra control. We will be climbing this tree."

Sakura raised her hand, "But sensei, we already know how to climb trees."

Kakashi eye-smiled, "Yes but can you do it without hands." He stood by a tree for a second and then began walking straight up a tree and stopped upside down on a branch, "This is a chakra control exercise, focus your chakra to your feet and use it to stick to the base of the tree and climb upwards, it'll be difficult at first so get a running start and use a kunai to mark your progress."

Naruto then raised his hand high, "Uh Kakashi, I already know how to do this, Big Boss taught me when I was still in the academy."

Kakashi raised his eyebrow, "Really Naruto, well can you show me then?"

Naruto nodded and walked over to a tree while making a hand-sign, he began non-chalantly walking up a tree to roughly the same height as Kakashi, "See, Big Boss taught me this because I had trouble with chakra control back before I graduated, I could barely pull a henge or kawarimi, hell I still can't make a regular bunshin; he taught me how to do this to help, that wasn't the real problem however…"

Kakashi had walked down from his tree, "Well do you mind telling me what the problem was then?"

Naruto jumped down, "No, I'd rather not, I still don't trust you all enough with that information yet and it's kind of personal, it's not what you think it is Kakashi. Oh and before you ask me to, yes I can walk on water too."

Sasuke had heard enough, "Damn it dobe stop lying to me, you can't walk on water or you would have during the fight with Zabuza on the lake!"

Naruto just shook his head, "I can walk on water teme, and I did do it during the fight with Zabuza, you just didn't see me; after I freed Kakashi I ran back to shore to hide while I had my clones swim back to lure him to one, Kakashi may have postponed my plan with blocking Zabuza's attack meant for the clone but my plan was to attach at least one clone to him and make it explode the entire time."

Sasuke stepped towards him, fists clinched, "Teach me your techniques: your clones, your alchemy, I deserve that power more than you! I need it more than you!"

Kakashi grabbed Sasuke to stop him, "Naruto doesn't have to give you any of his techniques, he worked hard to learn them and you cannot just demand that he teach them."

Naruto shook his head with a frown, "You'll never learn my moves, even if you had Sharingan… My Kage Bunshin takes up too much chakra for just anyone to learn, it would likely split your chakra too much for you to effectively use in a fight if it doesn't kill you, and yesterday I told you why no one will ever learn alchemy, it's not a jutsu, and I ain't teaching."

Sasuke seethed in anger, while Naruto felt confused, Sakura hadn't hit him yet, looking around for her he turned up and smiled. He saw her sitting in a tree watching the ongoing action with a look of worry on her face, he smiled at her. Kakashi had by now turned his head to see his pink-haired student in a tree as well, "Well it looks as if Sakura gets the idea, before you think of learning any other jutsu Sasuke I suggest you learn this first, even Sakura is better than you." Keeping a hold of the Uchiha he saw his anger building.

Turning to look at Naruto, Kakashi spoke again, "Naruto you can go train with Mikhail and his team or you can train alone. I'll stay here and make sure Sasuke and Sakura can perform the exercise adequately, then I'll come find you; there's something I want to teach you, and something I want to know."

Naruto nodded and gave a two-fingered salute to Team 7 before walking out of the clearing. Sasuke's mind was burning in anger, 'Why are you so strong dobe? You're the dead-last, you aren't from any clan and yet you and that brother of yours both have so much strength it's frustrating. I will surpass you dobe, it will be the first step I need to take to kill Itachi!'

"Sasuke!" Kakashi gave the boy a stone gaze, "I believe you and I need to have a little discussion."

Sakura wasn't listening to Kakashi begin to chew Sasuke out, she was too busy contemplating her thoughts of Naruto. After her verbal and physical lashing from Eiko and seeing how well Naruto got along with Team Jushiro and how the others seemed to love him and want to keep him safe she felt that she had to rethink her opinion on the boy. 'He was the dead-last wasn't he? He always did so poorly in school…'

Sakura began to think back to their academy days, right back to the near beginning, he may have done poorly on his written work, but he always seemed bored and uninterested, like he knew those things would be useless to him later. She on the other hand had always done very well on her book work, the best in class. His jutsu were always very poor, it took him years to pull a proper henge or kawarimi, so long in fact that to this day if he wanted to hide he would do so by pure stealth, and if he had to escape he would just dodge. She thought about all of his fights up until that point. He had never lost a fight in school, whether it was a spar or a bully who needed to be shown some humility, even if the enemy was bigger, or older Naruto would win. During the bell test with Kakashi he hadn't really lost, due to Naruto's plan they had fought Kakashi to a stand-still, and even now during the mission to Wave, he had defeated his chunin opponent and successfully extracted information from him, he had fought one-on-one with Zabuza Momochi and had held him off long enough to free Kakashi; he never showed himself to be weak or an idiot in battle, when the fight stared he always kept a level head, came up with a decent game-plan, and never believed that he would lose.

Lookinng down at Kakashi who continued lambasting Sasuke on his personality faults she had to think, 'Those other genin that showed up… That white-haired boy Jushiro was so strong, that brown-haired kunoichi Eiko was strong, they actually see Naruto as a peer, as an equal… Naruto, were we really that wrong about you? Are you really far stronger than you let on?'

XxX

Naruto walked through the woods until he found another clearing. He saw Jushiro and Mikhail standing alone, Jushiro was stretching while Mikhail was off about to oversee. Naruto ran up to them smiling, "Hey Big Boss, what are you guys about to do?"

Jushiro turned and smiled at his little brother, "Well Blank and Eiko went off back towards the house to train themselves and look after Tazuna's family, they didn't really want to be my test dummies for my new moves… go figure."

Mikhail walked towards the two brothers, "Naruto, why are you here? Weren't you supposed to be training with Kakashi?"

Naruto shrugged, "Kakashi is teaching them tree-climbing, I can do that already so he said I could train alone or with you guys."

Mikhail nodded, "Well if you are here then Jushiro no longer requires my presence, I will head into town and protect Tazuna at the bridge, good day." The boys nodded as the large bald man walked into the woods.

Jushiro rubbed his hands together, "Alright then runt, now that that is settled how about you show me your alchemy without a circle?"

Naruto frowned, "Big Boss, I've been showing you this every day since I knew I could do it, I haven't seen any of your tricks, show me, show me!"

Jushiro took on a stone expression, "Alright come on out, I can smell you from here, you reek of blood…"

Raiga chuckled as he entered the clearing, "I guess getting the drop on the two of you is out of the question. Hey! It's you, the blonde kid, and you have company… It'll be fun to kill you both."

Naruto and Jushiro looked at one another and back at Raiga, "Who the hell are you, what do you want with my otouto?"

Raiga smiled, "I am Raiga Kurosuki, one of the former 'Seven Swordsmen of The Mist,' I've been sent here to kill a little blonde kid named Naruto."

Naruto narrowed his sight, "Why do you have to kill me? Who sent you?"

Raiga cackled before answering, "I was sent by Zabuza himself, he's not quite 100% at this point in time so he sent me to kill you so that the next time he fights Kakashi you won't interfere."

Naruto and Jushiro smirked, "Wow brat, I guess you did kick his ass huh? He's actually sent an assassin to kill you, didn't see that coming."

Naruto looked up to his brother, "Well I guess this will be our training for the day huh? Another of the 'Seven Swordsmen' came out to play… Should be a blast."

Jushiro stretched and cracked his fingers, "Yeah, let's finish him quick, I'm not feeling like dealing with this right now."

Raiga cackled once more as he pulled out his lighning rod looking swords, Jushiro and Naruto set themselves in a ready stance, "Well, he's a dual kenjutsu user, that ain't good."

Raiga began to charge at the two, swinging his swords wildly at both, "This should be fun, if Zabuza thinks that you're trouble… And I get two for the price of one today!"

The boys jumped out of his range as Naruto spoke, "I swear to Kami, are all of you Seven Swordsmen crazy as hell? You're worse than Zabuza."

Raiga laughed, setting into his stance again, "You have no idea blondie." He ran directly at Naruto but diverted at the last second and hit Jushiro with a jumping kick, Naruto attempted to retaliate but was forced to dodge a slash at the last second.

Raiga then began focusing on Naruto, he ran at the boy and kept trying to slash at the boy, Naruto didn't know how long he could keep up that pace of dodging, Raiga had more experience, eventually he would catch him off guard and get him with a slash. Raiga was caught off guard as Jushiro decided to re-enter the fray by throwing a few kunai at Raiga, Raiga used his swords to deflect the knives leaving Naruto with an opening. Naruto sent the swordsman flying with a shot from his auto-mail arm, he then followed up with a transmutation, using the ground to form a hand to hammer Raiga into the ground.

Jushiro took his position by his brother's side, "You still keep that thing wrapped? They're your team you know, they are going to find out about your arm eventually."

Naruto shot a deadpan look at Jushiro, "Do you really blame me?"

Jushiro shrugged, "I guess not."

Clouds began gathering over the forest as lightning struck the rock that was covering Raiga, he stood up looking no worse for wear despite the scratched and scuffs, "That was actually a decent little attack, Zabuza probably underestimated you didn't he blondie? He gave you openings, thinking you were weak and you made him pay for it right?"

Naruto and Jushiro spread out around Raiga, "Maybe, but then again so are you!" As Naruto clapped and put his hands to the ground for a transmutation Jushiro put down a few pieces of paper with handwritten transmutation circles on them. Blasts of earth flew from the respective brothers towards Raiga and collided at high speeds, turning the colliding rock into rubble.

"Damn it he moved! Where is he?" Jushiro asked, his answer came quickly as Raiga appeared running towards Naruto; feinting a low slash he caught Naruto flat-footed and got him with a decent slash to the body.

As Naruto yelled out in pain Jushiro noticed that the blood flying in the air was electrified, 'What? His swords generate lightning to attack and add to his slashes and stabs… that's really nasty." Raiga kicked Naruto to the side and turned his attention back towards Jushiro, again resuming his tactics of wild slashes and stabs, only this time there was a small change, 'Damn it all… he seems faster now, what is it? He couldn't just get so much quicker after taking a punch could he?'

Raiga threw a sword at Jushiro who dodged and felt a shocking sensation immediately that forced him to his knees, 'Gaah! What was that? I dodged his attack, he didn't make contact.' Raiga grinned as he pointed behind Jushiro, an immobilized Jushiro tried turning around to see what it was to find Raiga's sword, the one he threw, sticking out of the ground coursing with electricity. "That… that's what-"

"Yes boy, I call that my static special, after my sword leaves my grasp as long as I hold the other I can generate electricity between them, and anyone standing between them."

Jushiro looked up at Raiga trying to stall to get feeling back to his body, "Why? Why are you guys working for that scum Gato? He's destroying this country, hurting these people, why are you and Zabuza working for that scum?" 'Damn it, this isn't good, if I can't move and Naruto is down then we're screwed, this storm is so loud that I don't think anyone can hear this fight, we have to get out of this.'

Raiga laughed again as he walked to his sword and pulled it out of the ground, "I don't care about this country, I don't care about what Gato pays," He slowly walked back towards Jushiro, "Hell I don't care about Zabuza or anyone else, the reason I'm even doing this for him is because this job lets me give a lot of funerals."

Jushiro still tried to stall further, "Funerals?"

"Yes, funerals, I do love funerals… People are so ugly all the time, fighting, killing, saying nasty things to one another, such deceitful hateful creatures humans are; the only time in a person's miserable existence they are truly pleasant is when they are among death." Jushiro was beginning to regain the feeling in his body but dared not move, he wasn't well enough to continue fighting yet, "Have you ever been to a funeral, the people are docile, quiet, respectful to the one who is no longer with them… No matter how terrible the person in question is, at their funeral the people think of their good qualities and choose to remember that person for them, even if they go right back to being hateful vile creatures afterward it doesn't matter, for that moment they are all decent people" Raiga stood next to Jushiro and raised his sword overhead, as he did this, lightning struck it, "And now for your funeral, there won't be a trace of you to mourn, but don't fear… I'll remember you."

Naruto ran back into the scene and pulled Jushiro out of the way before he was struck, "Damn it Big Boss, cutting it close there huh?"

Jushiro was settled back onto his feet, "Look who's talking brat, I could barely move, by the time I got my feeling back he was about to finish me, you know damn well you healed up way before me! Why didn't you get my ass out sooner?"

Naruto got in Jushiro's face, "Because I was looking for an opening and trying to give you time to heal, if I saved you then I would have to protect you and fight Raiga at the same time, besides it did take a while even for me to heal from it! That was worse than Eiko's Kanashibari!"

Jushiro and Naruto turned to see Raiga clapping, "Very good boys, I think I will enjoy your funerals more than I have in a long time."

Jushiro and Naruto set back into their stances, "Hey Naruto, I have an idea-"

Naruto cut in, "I already set it up Big Boss, just needs you to make the finishing touches."

He looked at Naruto, "What? When did-? Oh yeah, when he was spouting about funerals?" Naruto nodded his head so Jushiro spoke again, "Okay I guess it's time to finish this, I gotta pull out the big guns now, you got any new tricks to keep him busy?"

Naruto shrugged, "I have an idea I came up with when I fought Zabuza, but I never really got to put it into actual practice because I never got the chance to be alone."

Jushiro looked at him, "How certain are you that it will work?"

Naruto gave him a foxy smirk, "Not very, but it's time to nut up or shut up."

Jushiro smirked and looked back at Raiga, "Go on then, I've got your back, just don't make me miss." Naruto ran towards Raiga to attack.

Raiga saw this and laughed, "You're going to attack head on? You're dumber than I thought, I gave you too much credit!" As he ran forward Naruto ripped the combat tape off of his right arm revealing the metal of his auto-mail, as Raiga's eyes widened Naruto clapped and dragged his left hand across his right, forming a blade over his fist to continue his charge. Raiga was almost caught off-guard as he pulled his swords down to duel with Naruto's new blade-arm, "What are you some kind of freak? What is your arm made of?"

Naruto smirked during the test of strength, "The best stuff on Earth, BIG BOSS DO IT NOW!"

"Got it Naruto…" Jushiro pulled a necklace from beneath his shirt, a chain with a symbol of a transmutation circle, from around his neck, ripping it off. As he began to swing it the chain grew in size and length exponentially as did the circle, leaping in the air he threw his circle out towards the ground as it cut towards Raiga's direction, ripping up earth as it went. Raiga disengaged with Naruto just in time to dodge as the circle cut between them.

Following his miss, Jushiro pulled it back towards himself and smirked, "How do like my special chakram? Being that it's in the shape of a transmutation circle if I focus I can force a transmutation through it, I usually just try to get it to stop around step 2, breaking a material down, it's easier and makes it spin faster. Do you like it?"

Raiga sneered, "A cheap trick, what manner of jutsu is that? It doesn't matter, it's not a true weapon like my sword."

Jushiro took offense to that, "You're right asshole, it's not a jutsu, I didn't really care too much for learning them, I know a few, but I'd rather find ways to fight with alchemy, I'm not gonna waste time telling you what that is because you are going to die here, the kid gloves are off douchebag."

Naruto rushed back in to attack Raiga and sent him into defense. After a few rushes, Naruto began making kage bunshin to begin overwhelming Raiga.

Raiga didn't falter in the face of Naruto's assault, jumping back to get some breathing room he heard the sound of ground being cut through, to see that Jushiro had launched his transmutation chakram back at Raiga. Raiga dodged the attack again only to be met by more clones, as was falling back he attempted to blast away as many as he could, "Damn it, what the hell is this! They just keep coming! And that other one… Who are these brats!"

The clones swarmed Raiga, stabbing, cutting, swinging, tearing into Raiga's flesh creating horrid wounds and spilling his blood. Between the hordes of clones and Jushiro's long range attack Raiga was faltering. The boys were just genin and yet they were cutting a pace that he couldn't keep up with, for every clone that was destroyed Naruto seemed to create two in its place, if he got some room between the clones and himself Jushiro would launch his high-speed long-range chakram at him, forcing him to dodge or lose a leg, sometimes if Raiga spent too long fighting clones without falling back Jushiro would launch his attack anyway, clones be damned and Naruto would just replace them.

Eventually Raiga stood surrounded by Naruto's clones in the middle of a scarred landscape, waiting for the attack, "Well? What are you waiting for? Attack me! Let's go!"

The clones just smirked, the real Naruto began to chuckle far outside the scarred clearing alongside Jushiro, looking up at Jushiro he smiled, "Well Big Boss it's ready."

Raiga was confused, "What's ready? What the hell are you suckling brats talking about?"

Jushiro gave a triumphant smirk, "You know how I said I use alchemy? And how I said I can cause transmutations with my weapon?"

Raiga recalled what was said and what he saw Jushiro's chakram do, "So what? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Do you really think that I was aiming at you the entire time we were fighting? That my throws were just random misses? I wanted to miss. I had Naruto keep you busy by keeping pressure on you and forcing you into certain positions that would help me draw something without you getting too suspicious, it also helped to keep you from fucking up my lines with your stupid big lightning jutsu."

Raiga raised an eyebrow, "What were you drawing?"

Naruto and Jushiro smiled at one another before Jushiro pulled his chakram up for Raiga to see, Raiga's eyes widened in realization and horror.

When he flinched to run all of Naruto's clones sacked him and held him in place, "NO! NO! GET OFF ME YOU FUCKING BRATS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Jushiro features took on a hard look, "You said something about loving funerals… I hope you'll enjoy your own, you tried to kill me and my little brother and you failed miserably." Jushiro stepped closer to the edge of the circle that spanned the entire clearing ignoring Raiga's screaming and swearing, "I will tell you the names of the men who will one day grace the pages of every bingo book from Konoha to Iwa… Naruto Uzumaki, the future Hokage of Konohagakure and myself, Jushiro Moyomoto… the Armory Alchemist… Goodbye Raiga Kurosuki… You should never have come here."

Jushiro kneeled and placed his hands on the circle causing a great flash signifying a transmutation, "Ultimate Technique: Jushiro's Final Technique: Big Fucking Transmutation!" The ground around the field shook violently as the area consisting of the circumference of the circle shot out high above the heads of the two boys curving inwards to form a dome around Raiga and the clones. Naruto walked over to the dome seeing Jushiro hit the dome a few times to test how solid it was before clapping and setting his hand on a ring on his right hand. Pulling it away Naruto saw the ring cover his entire right hand in a huge shining cestus. (for those that do not know, a cestus is an archaic battle glove sometimes used by pankration competitors in ancient Rome; it is a thick glove that starts halfway down the forearm and goes just over the knuckles, it is usually studded with metal, spikes, or iron plates… thank you Wikipedia.)

Jushiro backed off from the dome as Naruto did the same and sprung forward, punching the massive dome with his cestus; in reaction the dome imploded and formed a massive crater where the dome once stood. Naruto and Jushiro stood in silence looking down at the crater before after a few moments Naruto finally spoke, "Well… So much for training today huh?"

Jushiro smirked at his brother as his glove returned to ring form and he put his necklace back on, "Oh I don't know I wouldn't say that. I mean you know you can turn your arm into a blade, and I know that all my tools work in a fight, that and I know that B.F.T. is a total success."

Naruto looked at Jushiro, "B.F.T.?"

"Big Fucking Transmutation."

Naruto nodded, "Oh, okay I get it."

Jushiro patted Naruto on the head, "Put your wraps back on, we need to go back to the house, I'm fucking beat."

Naruto put his auto-mail back to regular arm form as he did what he was told. "I hear you Big Boss, I'm so hungry right now… Do you think they have ramen in this village?"

Jushiro began walking back through the forest, "I don't know, maybe?"

XxX

A few minutes later the two brothers walked through Tazuna's front door, greeted by Tazuna, Tsunami, the remainder of both teams and their jounin sensei. Naruto and Jushiro walked past them all and sat in the kitchen, dropping their heads on the table.

As the group stood surrounding them Naruto turned his head to face the inquisitive stares of the genin, "The fuck ya'll looking at?"

Blank spoke, "Kami, what the fuck happened to you guys? You guys look like shit."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at Blank when Eiko began checking the boys over, "He's right you two, goodness, what the hell did you two do out there? Fight a den of wolves?"

Jushiro smiled painfully, "I wish, maybe then I wouldn't feel so stiff, adrenaline is a bitch… speaking of which, Eiko, you do Kanashibari no Jutsu, do you know how to reverse temporary paralysis?" She nodded, "Good, because me and Naruto both need it."

Sakura now looked concerned, "Naruto what happened? What did you do after you left me, Sasuke, and Kakashi-sensei at the trees? Why are you both so beat up?"

The brothers exchanged a look when Jushiro nodded, signifying Naruto to tell them, "Alright, get in here, you all need to hear this." After the jounin and Tsunami and Tazuna got in the kitchen Naruto began, "Okay, so after I left tree-climbing, by the way good job Sakura on your first try, it took me days to get the hang of it," Sakura smiled and blushed from the praise, "I went to look for Mikhail-sensei and his team, I found Mikhail-sensei and Big Boss in a clearing, after a minute or two he left me and Big Boss to train alone because someone had to watch over Tazuna. After we talked and stretched, which took a few minutes, Big Boss sensed some guy watching us in the woods. He called himself Raiga Kurosuki."

Kakashi cut in, "Raiga Kurosuki? One of the 'Seven Swordsmen of The Mist?"

Naruto nodded, "That's the guy, anyway, me and Big Boss started fighting him and we were kicking his ass until he charged himself up with lightning, in the most random wind and lightning storm I've ever seen I must say! But anyway after he did that he got way faster and cut me across my chest." Naruto said showing off the wound on his body, "He had lightning-chakra in his sword and the slash paralyzed me for a bit. While I was down he got Big Boss with some static thing that paralyzed him too. When we were down he started gloating and telling us stuff, apparently he worked with Zabuza for the chance to kill people, I don't know he was crazy as bat-shit. Anyway at some point we got the feeling back in our bodies and continued fighting, eventually our mixed concoction of awesome was just too powerful for him to take and Big Boss killed him with… the craziest damn finish I thought we'd ever get out of that battle, I didn't know what it was gonna actually look like." He grinned at Jushiro who smirked back, "I could try to describe to you what exactly he did, but you wouldn't believe me or understand, I just get the theory because he taught me how to set it up, I don't think I could ever learn how to do that."

Eiko spoke, "So you guys fought one of Zabuza's partners alone? Are you two crazy? He could have killed you!"

Naruto frowned, "Yeah but he didn't, we knew we could win, and besides, he was after me anyway, I could've ran, but he would have just targeted me wherever I went and killed anyone who tried to help."

Jushiro backed his brother up, "The runt is right, we could've left but who knows how big the situation could have gotten if we had? He might have ended up hurting or killing one of you, or Tazuna's family, maybe even Tazuna himself!"

Sakura spoke next, "Wait Naruto, he said he was after you, why?"

Naruto sat up rubbing his neck, "He said that after our fight with Zabuza at the lake we hurt him… He said Zabuza thinks I'm too troublesome to be kept alive so he sent Raiga to kill me off, he also said Zabuza's coming back."

Kakashi cut in now, "Well that means that you were really right Naruto, the hunter-nin was definitely fake, which means that it was one of Zabuza's allies."

Sasuke shook in anticipation, 'Finally, I can prove that I'm more powerful than the dobe… I will prove my strength.'

Kakashi looked towards the brothers, "Okay Naruto, you just proved from your story that you are adequately prepared for the next fight with Zabuza, you and your brother both. You will both rest up for at least a day at which time you will join Sakura who will be on guard detail for Tazuna tomorrow seeing as how she has mastered tree-climbing herself." Looking towards Sasuke he continued, "Sasuke you will continue tree-climbing until you have obtained mastery over it." Ignoring Sasuke's disgruntled look he turned towards Blank, Eiko, and Mikhail, "You two will train with Mikhail for a few days, then you will alternate guard duty with Sakura, Naruto, and Jushiro, at that time Mikhail and myself will come up with a battle plan and possible conditions we will face, understood?" Eiko and Blank nodded. "Good, now… I am tired myself and I know the boys are," Naruto and Jushiro grunted in agreement, "So let's cool down for the day."

XxX

Haku knelt down at Zabuza's bed, "Zabuza-sama, apparently Raiga-san was killed, would you like me to infiltrate and destroy the one responsible?"

Zabuza shifted to sit up on his bed, "No Haku, do not engage these people alone, do you know who actually did it?"

Haku shook her head, "No Zabuza-sama I don't, there wasn't a trace of Raiga left, not even his swords were around, just a shallow, wide crater."

"Very well Haku, don't worry about it, in a few days time we will put an end to this once and for all, get prepared for the final battle."

Haku bowed to Zabuza, "Hai Zabuza-sama, I will, stay in bed for at least two more days, it will take that long to recover from your wounds."

**Chapter 8, piping hot and fresh for your reading enjoyment, about Jushiro, being that I'm not exactly sure if I'll throw more alchemists in I didn't want to go for powers that were already well-known, I was going more for something that might be original, as far as the end of the battle I like that as an overwhelmingly strong move, it won't be used very often because if you can imagine the setup for something of that magnitude if your opponent isn't a total dumbass there is no way that would work without any hitches, I didn't make Jushiro really fight too hard on purpose, I wanted to save all of the stuff I really have in store for him for his own battle against someone.**

**Despite that I think the battle with Raiga was well-done, I killed him off so quickly because he's useless… really… I mean I don't think anyone cares about him other than the fact that he was fodder for Jushiro's B.F.T. He's a character from a filler arc of the anime, fuck him.**

**Voice your thoughts, concerns, ideas, and whatnot… I'm not going to say 'or not' because I've done it for the last 7 chapters and honestly I like feeling the love, a few comments seriously made my fucking day when I read them, so classic.**

**Have a funderful day!**


	9. The Final Encounter

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did I would have been killed seven times over by angry fans of the series because I would've had Naruto kill Sasuke at the Valley of the End, just one man's opinion, it would have opened up a whole new branch of potential storyline, he still would have the time-skip and I wouldn't have to suffer through his emo relapses everytime he thinks about Sasuke. It would have made the series darker, but no less kick-ass… This was not a spoiler for my story, just an opinion of how the true storyline should have gone.

**Chapter 9: The Final Encounter**

"Oh Kami Eiko-chan! That feels awesome!"

"*giggles* You're welcome Naruto-kun, wow… you are really tense."

"Eiko, I'm still tense too, come back over here and do me again."

"No Jushiro-kun, I just finished you off, you're good for a while, I can't do anything so soon between times."

Sakura had her ear to the door of Team Jushiro, Sasuke and Kakashi had left to continue his tree climbing training while Blank was up and downstairs with Mikhail waiting on Eiko. As she had asked where the two remaining genin, Naruto and Jushiro, had been that morning she was told by Blank that they were still upstairs being 'worked on' by Eiko. Now listening to the sounds coming from the room she had had enough speculation.

"What the hell is going on in here!" Sakura kicked the door in to find Jushiro off to the side with a look of longing on his face. Looking across the room she saw Naruto laying stomach first on his futon with a smile on his face. Eiko was sitting on her knees on Naruto's back pulling him up by arms, stretching him out.

Naruto took note of Sakura first, "What's up Sakura-chan? Are you okay?"

Everyone in the room looked at Sakura with a confused look as she looked embarrassed, "But you… but I heard… but it sounded like…"

Eiko cocked her eye-brow before explaining herself, "Naruto-kun and Jushiro-kun were still pretty much paralyzed when we all woke up this morning, I know Kanashibari no Jutsu (Temporary Paralysis no Jutsu), and what happened to them was just a more severe version of its effects, I know how to counter its effects too so I was just stretching them out where the pressure was the worst, poor Naruto-kun here is more worse for wear though."

Naruto smiled at the girl as she got off of his back, "Aww I'm okay Eiko-chan, you fixed me right up, I have to say it one more time because it warrants saying… that was awesome!"

Eiko winked at him as she left, "Anytime Naruto-kun, I better go though, Blank and Mikhail-sensei have been waiting for a while now. See you guys later."

Sakura stepped into the room as Eiko left, "So you guys are okay now right?"

Naruto stood up, "Yep, I'm still a little stiff but nowhere near as bad as yesterday, Eiko-chan stretched all the kinks out, I can actually go with you to protect Tazuna today."

Naruto walked over to Jushiro who was still laying down, "Come on Big Boss, get up, you're fine, let's go get Tazuna and go."

Jushiro shut his eyes, "Nah, don't feel like it, you go. You should be enough."

Naruto fumed, "Big Boss, stop being a lazy fuck and get your ass up, you have a job to do!"

Jushiro sighed with his eyes closed, "No Random Hero that's where you're wrong, my mission isn't to protect Tazuna that's all you, my mission is to back your ass up in a fight, I did that, as far as I'm concerned anything else would be overachieving. Besides Kakashi gave us the parameters to rest today, I'm taking full advantage of that, it's not my fault you have the attention span of a mongoose on speed and would probably be bouncing off the walls all day." Sakura giggled and Naruto growled as Jushiro continued, "You and Pinky go watch out for Tazuna, and don't worry… *sigh* I'll relax enough for the both of us."

"Fine Big Boss, whatever, I hope you get bedsores on your ass you lazy pervert."

With that Sakura and Naruto went downstairs to grab Tazuna, before turning to follow Sakura down the stairs he caught another sight of the little boy in overalls. As they reached the first floor Tazuna was putting on his work shoes for the day, "Ah there you are Sakura, and Naruto, shouldn't you still be in bed?"

Naruto shrugged, "Meh, bed rest is overrated, I find a good walk can clear your body as well as your mind. Naruto and Tazuna both put on big grins and began to laugh.

As the trio walked through the village to reach the bridge Naruto felt the need to comment on the state of the village, "Man, Tazuna, when you told me what Gato was doing to this place I didn't think it would be this bad… this is terrible. How can anyone knowingly do this to someone."

Tazuna looked back at the boy, "Naruto, men like Gato who only live for themselves don't care what happens to those around him, as long as he can line his wallet with gold the ends justify the means with him."

Sakura spoke while walking between them, "I don't consider Gato or people like him men, they're monsters, this is terrible."

Tazuna nodded, "Now you all see why we need this bridge to be completed, to free this land of Gato's chokehold."

Naruto clinched his hands into fists, "Tazuna… I swear to you, you will see this bridge completed, even if I have to build it my damn self. That is my vow to you and to this country."

Tazuna nodded fearing the emotion in his voice, Sakura just looked at the boy in awe, 'Naruto… How wrong could we have been about you?'

As they reached the bridge Tazuna saw his workers look quite disenfranchised, "Hey, hey, hey, what's the matter, the bridge will be complete within a few days, a week at most, it's right on schedule, what's the matter?"

One of the workers walked up, "Tazuna it's Gato, he sent his men to our houses to threaten our families again he said they'll come for us if we don't quit building the bridge."

Tazuna grinned at the workers, "I've got a surprise for you all then. I've hired ninja to protect us while we build the bridge. One of the ones I hired has gone head-to-head against two of the ninja Gato hired."

A worker yelled out, "What happened?"

Tazuna smirked and looked at Naruto, "The first one he gravely injured and forced to retreat, the second one wasn't so lucky, he's dead now after tangling with him yesterday, and he's standing right here."

Naruto rubbed his nose and grinned, "Aw Tazuna it wasn't that big of a deal."

The workers were stunned, "This little kid killed one of Gato's ninja?"

Naruto looked at them, "You do know that even though we're kids we've been trained to do this kind of thing for years right? As long as we're here you won't have to worry about Gato's thugs, I promise."

Tazuna began breaking the crowd up, "Alright you heard the boy, let's get started! You all know what to do, get to work!"

Sakura looked at Naruto, "Naruto what should we do? Should we help them?" Naruto shook his head, "No Sakura-chan, they should do this themselves, it's their home that their doing this for, we can't let them rely on us, relying on others is what started this, we're just here to make sure they pull it off. We're on guard detail which means we're playing the waiting game."

Sakura looked on as Naruto went to sit on a railing alongside the bridge, 'Naruto, when did you change? Were you always like this?' She walked over and sat next to him on the rail, she saw him just staring at his bandaged right arm, Sakura's curiosity was piqued so she tapped Naruto to get his attention, "Naruto I have a question, well actually I have a few questions…"

Naruto broke his gaze from his arm to smile at the girl, "Sure thing Sakura-chan, shoot."

She smiled sadly back at him, "Naruto, why do you call me Sakura-chan, you've called me that ever since we were in the academy, I don't really treat you that well, why do you call me that?"

Naruto looked out among the workers before answering, "It's because of how I saw you when I first entered the academy when we were young, I saw you talking and laughing, you looked so nice, you are a nice person… even if you don't act that way towards me. I call you Sakura-chan because I keep hoping that one day you'll actually consider me a friend, even now I'm sure you don't."

Sakura looked down and Naruto continued, "Like for instance I bet the second we see someone from home; be it Sasuke, hell if you were nice to me the entire way home and then we got back and you saw someone like for example: Ino, what would you do?" Sakura wanted to say she wouldn't turn on him like that, that she would really consider him as close, but in all honesty she knew she would. Naruto sensed this, "You would probably hit me or tell me to get lost, because I'm not one of the cool kids, I'm orphan boy Naruto, the dead-last, the bottom of the social ladder, but it's okay, if you can't like me for me then I won't force it on you and I won't change."

Sakura looked at him sadly, 'Naruto…' "So um… about my second question… what happened to your right arm? It's been wrapped up for as long as I've known you, I know you said it was an old injury, but I'd like to know exactly what happened, and what's wrong with it."

Naruto smiled as he subconsciously grabbed his right arm, "I'm sorry Sakura-chan, but that's just not something I'm ready to share with you yet, maybe if you can get my trust I can find a way to tell you, but my trust isn't given, it's earned, you're going to have to do something pretty big to get my trust after five years of mistreatment, you… and everybody else."

The two sat in silence while the workers were busy with their tasks until Sakura spoke again, "Naruto, Jushiro, the one you call Big Boss… Is he really your brother? It's just everyone says that you're an orphan, that you don't have any family, you don't know any of them so why does he call you his otouto sometimes?"

Naruto chuckled, "Wow you sure are interested in me all of a sudden huh?" Sakura looked down again, "It's okay Sakura-chan I'm glad you are, better late than never. No he's not my brother, you're right I don't have any real family at all, but as far as that goes, he's damn close to the real thing I'd assume, he's always been there for me since I was six, he's done things for me that I can never repay him for, he gave me the tools to protect myself, gave me a stable home, he gave me set of rules to live my life by, he gave me something as close to a family as I'm ever gonna get." He paused to look up, "Eiko-chan and Blank are just like a brother and sister should be I think. Blank treats me just like Jushiro, almost to the letter; and Eiko-chan, she so nice to me, I don't think Eiko-chan has ever yelled at me or hit me or anything, and all three of them stick up for me, even when it becomes physical. Yesterday is a good example, Big Boss could've left me to fight Raiga alone, I was the target after all, he could've ran. But he stayed and fought with me, he was almost killed alongside me, it's always been that way… and that's why I'm so loyal to Big Boss, because he's loyal to me, he's precious to me, he's the only person who ever gave a damn… and he's the only person, the ONLY person that truly has my respect."

Sakura spoke, "The only one?"

Naruto nodded, "Hokage-Jiji and Kakashi are the two that are the closest, but they aren't even close to Big Boss, especially Kakashi, if anything he's slipping in my eyes. But enough about that."

XxX

The two genin patrolled the bridge looking for any sign of trouble or danger for the better part of four hours until Tazuna called for a lunch break. Tazuna took off with the majority of his men as Naruto and Sakura stayed on the bridge, it didn't take very long for them to finish their bento boxes which left them with nothing to do for the better part of 45 minutes, "Lazy fucking Big Boss, I'm bored as hell Sakura, I can't even train or I'll end up destroying part of the bridge, and I can't take patrolling this bitch one more time."

Sakura wasn't really much better off, "Calm down Naruto, and watch your language. The next time we have guard duty we'll just bring cards."

Naruto was suddenly inspired, "Hey Sakura, how about we spar? Would you be up for that?"

Sakura thought about it for a moment before remembering Eiko's words from the other day, she also remembered the fact that he had gone up against two jounin-level shinobi and come out on top, "Um no thanks Naruto, I think you're way above my level."

Naruto smiled at her, "Well I have an idea on how to fix that, let's go, follow me."

Naruto took her to the shore underneath the bridge to spend the remainder of the time teaching her water-walking. Sakura, a quick study, picked the technique up very quickly. At the end of the lunch break Sakura was beaming as she returned to the worksite with Naruto, "You see Sakura-chan you have way better control than me, you picked it up in like 15 minutes, it took me hours."

Sakura nodded, "Thank you Naruto, but why did you teach water-walking to me? Why not teach me and Sasuke?"

Naruto yawned, "Because you didn't order me to teach you anything, that teme on the other hand demanded that I teach him my best skills, I feel like over the course of the morning you changed a bit, you haven't yelled or hit me all day. I just thought that I should show you that I appreciate it, besides that, Sasuke can't even tree-walk yet, it would've been like trying to teach a crawling baby how to run."

As the team returned to the bridge they saw all of the workers waiting outside of the gate. The kids heard Tazuna speak, "You can take your cronies back to Gato and leave our worksite, we have a job to do damn it and it's going to get done!"

Naruto and Sakura pushed to the front of the crowd to see Tazuna shouting at two men. Both men had swords, one had white hair, and a stocking cap, the other had an eyepatch and weird ponytails, he was shirtless which made him show off his scars, "Well Waraji, the old man says we should leave, what do you think?"

The scarred man laughed, "I think we should make an example out of him just like we did to his son-in-law Zori." As the two men moved towards Tazuna a clap was heard followed by the concrete of the bridge shooting out from in front of them forming a fist punching the two thugs backwards into their backup. "What the fuck!"

The men looked on as the hand turned over and gave them the finger, "You idiots want to beat up on an old man? Maybe beating up kids will be more your speed!"

Naruto and Sakura ran forward and stood in front of Tazuna, "Tazuna-san, move back behind the line, Naruto and I can handle this." Tazuna nodded and walked back towards the other workers.

The thugs smirked as the ringleaders stood up, Waraji palmed his hilt, "That was a nice trick you little brats, you won't get lucky twice though."

Naruto snickered, "That wasn't luck you punk-ass, that wasn't even my best shot."

The thugs growled in anger, "I'll cut you to slabs and your pink-haired bitch too!"

All of the thugs followed in as Naruto and Sakura simply jumped over them, as they heard a clap they turned around and saw a huge pipe coming out of the bridge pointing at them, "You tell your fucking boss Gato that he better bring more than a few pussies like you with dull swords to fight Naruto Uzumaki." With that he clapped and placed his hands on the pipe, forcing gallons of water to blast from the pipe with crushing pressure, drilling the thugs and pushing them far back over the workplace line, "Tell that bitch I'm coming, and he won't know where and he won't know when, the only warning he'll get is my heel on his throat!"

As the thugs got up and ran the workers cheered the two ninja, Tazuna ran up to them, "Kids that was incredible, you beat them without breaking a sweat!"

Sakura looked joyous, however Naruto had a serious look, "Tazuna that guy said something about your son-in-law and 'making an example out of him,' what was he talking about?" Tazuna flinched and told the genin about the story of his son-in-law, Kaiza, and how he was killed by Gato. By the story's conclusion Sakura was near tears while Naruto's gaze stayed firm, "I see, thank you for telling us that Tazuna… Sakura you stay here and escort Tazuna home, I'll see you both there." Naruto began walking back to Tazuna's house at a slow pace.

XxX

Haku came into Zabuza's room with a middle-range communicator, "Zabuza-sama, an important message for you from Gato himself, he says it's urgent."

Zabuza grumbled while standing up from his bed, "What the hell does that miserable dwarf want now?"

Haku shrugged, "He refused to tell me."

Zabuza cursed as he took the receiver from Haku, "What do you want Gato, you said I have a week to kill the bridge-builder, it's only been two days."

Gato sounded panicked on the other end, "Zabuza get to my headquarters immediately! My men were easily crushed by one of those ninja you fought, he said he's coming for me! His name is Naruto Uzumaki! You need to get here and protect me now! Tazuna's death isn't more important than my life!"

Zabuza sighed, "Fine, I'll be there by tonight, you get the rest of your men ready, and I'm in charge once I arrive, no compromises, we do this my way."

Gato sounded attentive, "Yes, yes whatever you need to stop them you've got it!"

Zabuza smiled under his bandages, "Good, I'll be there shortly." Zabuza chuckled as he turned his communicator off, "Haku, this will end very soon, it's almost over"

Haku smiled, "Yes Zabuza-sama, we can stop running soon."

XxX

Naruto marched into the house with a purpose, sparing a short greeting to Tsunami he marched upstairs where he knew Kakashi would still be. Opening the door to his room he found Kakashi and Mikhail. The two jounin gave Naruto a strange look as he entered, Kakashi spoke quickly, "Naruto aren't you supposed to be with Sakura watching Tazuna?"

Naruto nodded, "Yes but I'm here for a good reason, the bridge was almost taken over by Gato's thugs today while the workers were at lunch."

Kakashi asked another question, "What happened?"

Naruto continued, "Sakura and I scared them away but this won't end anytime soon, they won't stop, not as long as Gato is paying them, even if we are training for Zabuza, after the battle ends Gato will just come in and pick up the scraps like a vulture, he'll kill whoever wins us or Zabuza."

Mikhail spoke up now, "How do you know that Naruto?"

Naruto sat down to speak, "Because Gato is scum, and scum like Gato wouldn't pay someone like Zabuza even for a job well done, he'll kill him once he kills us and Tazuna, no matter how well he does it."

Kakashi nodded, "Yes perhaps, but what do we do about it?"

Naruto punched his palm, "We just take out the source of all the trouble and end it all in one move, nip it in the bud."

Kakashi and Mikhail exchanged a look, "Naruto this is a huge gamble… fortunately for you one of the plans we made up involved sacking Gato's headquarters and killing him to end all of this."

Mikhail walked up to the boy, "I sent Blank and Eiko out to find Gato's HQ, they've been gone for a few hours now but they should be back soon."

Kakashi walked towards Naruto, "I'll go get Sasuke and tell him to rest up for this evening, we'll tell Sakura and Tazuna when they return, she shouldn't be too tired, did she fight on the bridge?"

Naruto shook his head, "Not really, I took them out with one move, she didn't fight."

Kakashi eye-smiled at him, "Very good Naruto, now you get some rest, we'll need you for tonight." Kakashi left to head downstairs, Mikhail gave the boy a nod before he left the room. As he took in the information he had just received he noticed the sight of the little boy again. He stopped in the doorway and gave Naruto a glare before running away. Naruto sighed in frustration, that kid was beginning to piss him off.

XxX

As the remainder of the rag-tag squad returned home Kakashi let Sakura and Tazuna in on what would be happening that night. The knowledge of the attack got a worried reaction from Sakura, she wasn't so sure how she would do in a real-life combat scenario, up until that point the boys and Kakashi had done all of the fighting. Tazuna was overwhelmed with emotion, the man who had been raping the Wave economy for years would finally be dealt with. Sasuke had been excited at the prospect of another fight, he resolved to prove his superiority over the alchemy using brothers.

Blank and Eiko began explaining what they had discovered about Gato's fortress, it was a converted factory 20 kilometers southeast outside of Tazuna's fortress. It was surrounded by makeshift batteries used for early defense but seeing as how Blank and Eiko easily slipped past them in the daylight it would be child's play at night for ninja to infiltrate such a shoddily protected facility.

Kakashi set the plans out, "Okay, this should be simple, I will break us into three groups, one to handle any thugs attempting to enter the facility when the fireworks begin, another to break off in case Zabuza is somehow there, the last group will continue forward to Gato themselves. The group that will remain outside to mop up the foot soldiers will be Blank, Eiko, Sakura, and Sasuke, a few genin should be more than a match for a few dozen bandits. The group that will stall Zabuza will be myself and Mikhail, the final group that will press on in such an event will be Jushiro and Naruto; any questions?"

Sasuke raised his hand, "Why am I the one that has to stay outside while the dobe goes in, I am an Uchiha, I've been training for the last two days, I should be the one going inside."

Blank and Eiko shook their heads, even Sakura had a look on her face, Jushiro was about to grab Sasuke and smash him again until he was interrupted by Kakashi, "Naruto is going in because unlike you he has shown that he is fully capable of exceptional teamwork with his partners, I know this from personal experience. From his fights with Raiga and Zabuza he has shown that he can go up against a superior opponent and is capable of winning, add that to the fact that he and his brother have been training together for years and from what Mikhail says Jushiro is far stronger than you I don't see how I could possibly pick Naruto over you and be considered sane."

Sasuke fumed in silent anger when Mikhail spoke up, "We depart at midnight. Relax, set up your team dynamics, check your gear and be ready for battle by then, you have four hours."

As he finished Inari came out of nowhere, "Why are you all doing this? Do you really believe you can beat Gato? He's too strong, he'll kill you all!" He shouted with tears in his eyes, "You should never have come here!" As he finished Jushiro and Naruto began to laugh, angering Inari, "What are you laughing at? What's funny?"

Jushiro stopped laughing, "That's what I said to someone the other day right before Naruto and I killed him… he screamed like a little bitch… just like you."

Inari had tears in his eyes, "What do you know about this country? You have no idea what I've lost, you all laugh and joke and argue… my life is serious! You all know nothing about how hard life can be!"

Naruto snorted and walked forward, "Let me play a fucking song for you on the world's smallest violin, I know nothing? You know nothing, you're just a pussy, when I was your age life was shit, shitty house, shitty clothes, shitty food, shitty treatment by those around me, I had no one for the longest time, and when I was your age," Naruto knelt down to his ear to whisper, "I had my fucking arm cut off by a man from my own village." Naruto pulled the tape off of his finger for only Inari to see the metal appendage. Inari recoiled in shock as Naruto fixed his wrapping and ran upstairs. Naruto looked at everyone else, "Sorry Tazuna… Tsunami… I went too far I think, I just…" He trailed off, walking out of the front door.

Sakura asked, "What was that?"

Jushiro shook his head, "You want to know? You have to ask him, I'm not in any position to tell you his stuff. But I doubt he'll tell any of you, you haven't earned his trust yet." Jushiro walked upstairs leaving the others in silence. "I'm going to go get his head right, it wouldn't do to have him fly off the handle during the battle."

XxX

Midnight came and this saw the two teams lead by Kakashi and Mikhail sprinting to the forest, along the way the teams assigned to their jobs broke off into their groups while staying in the pack. As the factory came into sight Kakashi called for a halt, "Okay, listen up diversion team, you stay hidden out here until the fireworks begin for us inside, when the guards begin rushing towards the building they will come in force, remember just because they're not ninjas does not mean they aren't dangerous, they are grown men that are not adverse to killing you. They will make up for their quality in quantity, move quickly, dispatch your enemies with haste and watch each other's backs. Just because you have not worked together before does not mean you can't work together, keep as many as you can from entering the stronghold, in the need of a quick escape you are our way out. Got it?" He got four nods in affirmation, "Now for the plan for my group; Mikhail, myself, Naruto, and Jushiro will infiltrate the stronghold, we will go for as long as we can without setting any alerts, however if we do we are counting on the team outside to keep the plan from going straight to hell, in the event that we encounter Zabuza, Mikhail and myself are to engage, Naruto and Jushiro, you two will continue on to Gato's quarters and finish him off, when you do report back to us and we will escape."

Jushiro patted Naruto on the shoulder as Naruto spoke, "No problem Kakashi, I've been waiting for this for days."

As Blank, Eiko, Sasuke, and Sakura remained hidden in the trees the group of Kakashi, Mikhail, Jushiro, and Naruto ran up to the front of the building. As they opened the front door and ran inside Naruto made a comment, "There's only one way in and one way out, how stupid is he? Why don't we just burn this place to the ground or blow it to smithereens?"

Kakashi answered his blonde student, "Because if we are discovered then at least we can fight our way through to Gato if push comes to shove, if we try to burn the building down and are discovered then not only will we not get an opportunity at Gato, who knows how he'll retaliate? He could take his men and try to raze the village to the ground. At least if we're caught here we're already close enough to push towards him."

The group ran ahead as they realized something, they had yet to see a guard, a sentry, or even a random drunken thug, no one was in sight. Eventually as the group made it to a large open room, probably used for machinery when the factory was active, déjà vu set in, a haze set itself in the room, sensing the same feeling he felt at the lake before Naruto decided to expose his theory, "Zabuza?"

A deep laughing was heard throughout the facility, "Well, well, it looks like I was right about your blonde brat Kakashi, he really is more trouble than I first thought, being able to kill Raiga like that is no small thing, but he's in a whole 'nother ballpark now."

Kakashi immediately lifted his hitae-ate to reveal his Sharingan just as Mikhail set himself in a stance to fight, "Jushiro! Naruto! Go, head on up and find Gato!" The boys nodded as they took off through the misty room, leaving the jounin to battle Zabuza alone. "Mikhail, keep your senses sharp, he's a master of the silent killing technique." Mikhail nodded and scanned the room for their enemy. Kakashi was confused however, "Zabuza, when the boys ran off through the mist, why didn't you try to stop them, you just let them on through."

Zabuza's voice echoed through the room, "I don't quite know Kakashi, maybe it's because I hate Gato, maybe I want the kids to kill him. Or maybe it's because I finally understand what I was what I was doing wrong."

Kakashi spun around rapidly looking for a sign of Zabuza, "What do you mean Zabuza, going about what wrong?"

Zabuza spoke again, "I was going about getting rid of that blonde kid the wrong way, Raiga and myself fought the kid like berserkers, we were not surgical whatsoever in our assault on him. He didn't falter or show any signs of fear once, from what I could see he was completely reserved the entire time."

Kakashi thought back to Naruto's words in the classroom on team assignment day, 'I fear no mortal man, woman, or beast…' Zabuza continued, "I figured that in a straightforward fight against the boy one-on-one would be far too much of a hassle, add in the fact that he had effective backup and you have a case of two regiments of foot soldiers clashing, only one side had artillery support. I decided that I had to take a different approach."

XxX

"Big Boss, this place did not look so fucking big from the outside, where is Gato!"

Jushiro and Naruto kept sprinting through the corridors of the building heading higher and higher until reaching a huge set of doors, "Well runt, this has got to be it, let's hurry up and finish this cockroach so we can get Kakashi and Mikhail-sensei and get the hell out of here."

Naruto smirked evilly, "With pleasure…" He punched his palm and kicked the doors in, "Gato… come on out… it's time to pay for your bullshit." They walked into the office, "You might have gotten away with this IF I wasn't assigned this mission to protect Tazuna, but let me be clear, whenever I found out about this shit, be it a few weeks, months, or years after the fact, I'd have shown up to beat the fuck out of you anyway."

"That's very interesting," A voice called out, "If Gato were in here I'm sure he'd be trying to bribe you with whatever he could to get away right now, unfortunately he isn't here right now." Naruto and Jushiro tried to look for the voice, only to find it was coming from the speakers on the walls, "He's in a panic room built on the roof of this factory. You should both leave here, I would hate to have to kill you two."

Naruto rose his eyebrow, "Well that's a refreshing change of pace, usually our enemies brag about how they're gonna kill us."

Jushiro nodded, "Yep, I have to say, it's nice not having to fight someone so bloodthirsty for once, but… Gato must die tonight."

Naruto clapped and placed his palms to the floor, forcing a pillar to shoot up and blast through the ceiling, the brothers then leapt through the hole to the rooftop to find the masked hunter-nin from the first battle with Zabuza, Naruto spoke casually "Hello hunter-ninja, it's been a while, you're looking well… from what I can tell."

Jushiro walked forward, "Okay since it is quite obvious to all in attendance that you are not a damn hunter-nin could you show us what you actually look like, if we're gonna fight I'd like to see your face at least once."

After a nod the mask was removed, "As you wish, you are correct, I am not a hunter ninja, my name is Haku." The boys took over the features of the girl in question; long black hair, brown eyes and and a kimono.

Naruto chose to break the observation period, "I fucking knew it! I fucking knew you were a girl, you didn't smell like a killer, you owe me your mission payment Big Boss!"

Jushiro grumbled as he reached into his pocket and handed Naruto an I.O.U., "Fucking attentive brat, you didn't tell me you were close enough to smell her when we made the bet on the gender asshole!"

Haku sweat-dropped as the two continued to fight, "You didn't fucking ask me, you just asked what she looked like with the mask on… and you made the bet! You thought that all hunter-nin had to be dudes and that was your mistake!"

Jushiro went nose to nose with Naruto, "I was thinking chivalrously you little punk!"

Naruto rebuked him, "No, you weren't. You were being sexist! Misogyny and chivalry aren't the same, don't mix them up!"

Haku cleared her throat to get the brothers' attention, "If you are done arguing about my gender I believe we should begin our battle."

Naruto and Jushiro blushed and set themselves into their fighting stances, Jushiro was noticeably flustered, "Sorry Haku-chan, we didn't mean to imply that you're weak, or that you carry yourself like a guy, you're actually very pretty, I'm just used to guys wearing masks like that, you shouldn't hide such a pretty face from the world like that."

Haku gave them a smile when Naruto spoke in a hissing whisper, "Big Boss, stop flirting with our opponent and think! How the hell are we going to fight her? We'll break the code if we go all out! We might even kill her."

Jushiro smirked and whispered back, "Hey don't fret, she can't possibly take the both of us, we'll just play it by ear, don't try to kill her or hurt her, just incapacitate her ok."

The brothers still spoke too loudly as Haku chimed in, "I'm glad you two won't be trying to kill me, but you should still go all out… because I will be." She put her mask back on and disappeared from their view with blinding speed.

XxX

Outside the factory the rest of the team were sitting on their hands, Blank, Eiko, and Sakura sat still in the trees waiting for anything that would alert Gato's men, however Sasuke was pacing along the forest floor impatiently, "Just how long will we have to wait to fight?"

Blank looked down at the boy, "Hopefully we won't have to fight at all, as long as it's quiet then it's all going according to plan, if we have to fight then it means that the guys inside fucked up, it's all quiet which means I have a better chance of sleeping in a bed tomorrow instead of the ground dead."

Sasuke continued to pace and grumble, Eiko looked at Sakura, "What the hell do you see in him? That's the guy that's better than Naruto? He's a grumpy asshole, I swear you younger girls have weird taste in guys." Sakura sweat-dropped and continued to scan for enemies.

XxX

Kakashi and Mikhail didn't have to wait long for Zabuza's attack, he came in for multiple attacks from all sides of the two jounin who were standing back to back to defend and pinpoint his location, without much luck. Kakashi again scanned the room, hoping to find Zabuza before he got too close, his Sharingan did not help him see through the thick mist in the room, it only really served to help him with his last-second dodging and parrying attempts when Zabuza came into sight. Mikhail on the other hand was not moving, not looking around, he simply reacted to Zabuza's movement, when he came in to attack him Mikhail would attempt to grab him by him wrists and begin his close range mauling, however Zabuza was far stronger than his lanky build let on, he had to be, he swung his big-ass sword like a ribbon. Needless to say, Mikhail's counter grapples were broken whenever he made a motion to grab the swordsman.

"Mikhail, I can't see or hear a trace of him, can you pick anything up?" Mikhail grunted in response, "That's what I thought…" Zabuza had picked a much better venue to engage them in this time around than the lake. The fact that the floor was concrete made hearing Zabuza's footsteps more difficult than if they were outside, the other aspect of being indoors meant that the wind couldn't shift Zabuza's mist jutsu around. When they fought by the lake the wind blowing had been an advantage, it allowed the mist to dissipate over time, improving visibility, as long as they were inside the mist was stagnant, a wall of haze.

'Damn it, I should've put either Naruto or Jushiro with me to fight Zabuza, at least I could get him to use his alchemy to shift the concrete around… That's it!' Kakashi turned to Mikhail, "Mikhail, start manipulating the concrete!" Mikhail smirked and nodded as he slammed both fists into the ground, crushing the floor and causing a tremor, it left the floor with a jagged shockwave crater around the Konoha jounin. "Well it's a start… now let's get serious." Kakashi dashed off to hunt for Zabuza in the mist, the only sign of battle Mikhail could tell of was the sound of Kubikiri Hochi and a kunai swiping and clashing in the distance. Mikhail closed his eyes ad focused his ears, he heard footsteps running at him as well as metal dragging across the concrete. Apparently Zabuza was done with stealth and was reverting back to hacking away at targets.

As Mikhail heard Zabuza charging in from a mile away he shot his shoulder out, knocking Zabuza off balance before trying to follow through with a rolling back elbow, this however was missed as Zabuza hopped back. Kakashi re-appeared next to Mikhail as Zabuza chuckled, "That was very good, that shoulder counter of yours dislocated my shoulder," Zabuza snapped his limp right arm out to the sound of an audible crack before shaking it out. Kakashi ran back in to engage, as Zabuza pulled his sword out front to block the kunai slash, another tremor was felt as Mikhail punched the ground again forcing Zabuza to stumble, Kakashi stayed upright as he had channeled chakra to his feet and landed an uppercut to Zabuza.

Zabuza grabbed his chin, 'Well this sucks, what the hell was I thinking? Thinking that this would work against two jounin, Copy Ninja Kakashi and the Bear-Nin of Konoha… I must be retarded…"

XxX

"Big Boss where did she go?" Naruto scratched his head while standing in his stance.

Jushiro's eyes were scanning the rooftop, "Hell if I know stumpy? Just stay frosty alright?"

Haku's voice was heard, "That's the best non-intentional pun I've ever heard, Sensatsu Suisho (Thousand Flying Water Needles of Death)!" Multiple needles formed from the atmosphere and rained down on Naruto and Jushiro. The brothers dodged with wide-eyes as the needles of ice crashed into the rooftop.

The boys looked at each other then looked at Haku before speaking simultaneously, "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GOING TO KILL US!"

Haku responded, "I assumed you would dodge and I was right." Her mask obscured her face but the boys could tell she was smiling underneath it.

"Alright then… Come on brat, game on!" The brothers ran criss-cross towards Haku, she threw senbon at Jushiro forcing him to dodge, Naruto kept running as Haku pulled out a senbon to stab him with.

Naruto lifted his concealed arm and blocked her stab, "So sorry Haku-chan, but you can't hurt this arm, you've gotta do better than that to beat us."

Haku lifter her free arm, "Okay, how about this then Naruto-kun?" She began making one-handed hand signs, "Sensatsu Suisho!"

Naruto looked up and saw familiar needles hanging overhead, letting out a girlish shriek he was saved from an icy, needly death by Jushiro tackling him out of harm's way, "Whoa runt! She can make one-handed hand signs? Didn't see that coming."

Naruto fumed from the ground, "I think I noticed Big Boss! Or did the spiky-ass needles over my head not tip me off?"

Jushiro pulled Naruto back to his feet as both brothers looked at Haku, "Alright Haku-chan, that was really close, you almost turned Random Hero over there in to a connect four set, I can see you're serious about stopping us."

Naruto clapped his hands and began to drag his left across his right until his brother stopped him, "What? Why'd you stop me Big Boss?"

Jushiro put his hand down, "We made her a promise not to kill her didn't we? I don't think blade-arm would be a very safe weapon to use would it?" Naruto lowered his head, "Besides runt, she doesn't need to see your arm, if she lives it won't make things easier later."

"Alright Boss." Naruto clapped and forced the concrete on the ceiling to shoot out at Haku, she dodged right into a kick to her body by Jushiro that sent her flying across the roof. Naruto ran towards her again, leaping and trying to drop a punch, Haku rolled and jumped backwards right into another attack from Jushiro that sent her to the other side of the roof. The brothers were using her like a ping-pong ball.

As she stood, slightly dazed between the boys, she saw them both rushing her in a pincer attack, Naruto slid at her with a low dropkick, as she jumped over it she took a flying knee to the back from Jushiro. After picking herself up off the ground once more Haku had decided that enough was enough, she resolved to put an end to their battle as quickly as she could, "Makyou Hyoushou (Demonic Ice Mirrors)!" Using the atmosphere around them, Haku formed a dome of mirrors around the boys made of ice.

Naruto looked lost, "What in the hell? Big Boss, what is this, she can make ice?"

Jushiro looked equally befuddled, "I don't know little guy, all I know is that it is cold as hell in here!"

Haku slipped into one of her mirrors, her reflection showing in them all, "This is a technique born from my kekkai genkai, Hyouton, I can form and manipulate ice, kind of how Naruto-kun does with rock."

Naruto rubbed his head, "Um actually Haku-chan, that's not a kekkai genkai, it's not even a jutsu, but um… what are you going to do now?"

She picked up senbon in her hands, "From here I can move between all of these mirrors at will. You two work well together, Naruto-kun you are slower than your brother so you use that to set up tandem attacks by distracting the enemy and letting him attack. Your brother is very fast himself, but in here Naruto-kun your lack of speed will be your downfall, because now I'll show you what speed really means.

Haku began pelting the duo in needles, Jushiro was dodging easily, Naruto was having more trouble but was picking up the slack by blocking the unavoidable ones with his auto-mail arm. 'Damn it Haku-chan, I'm just glad I learned how to fight with this thing.'

Jushiro had had enough of defending, "Naruto, smash these mirrors now!" Naruto clapped and placed his palms to the roof, shooting concrete at Haku's mirrors, upon making contact the mirror cracked but quickly regenerated,

"Damn it, it didn't work Big Boss!" Naruto shouted as he dodged the incoming needles.

A vein bulged on Jushiro's forehead, "Duh Naruto I'm not blind!"

Naruto ran to the mirror and tried to punch through it with his arm, not only did it not even crack, but Haku appeared and pelted the boy with needles. "The ice is formed and reinforced by my chakra, you can't break it like that."

Naruto rose to his feet, "I think I noticed Haku-chan…"

Jushiro transformed his ring to his cestus, "Try this then!" He ran at another mirror with a punch, Haku seeing his belief in the punch stopped him with a wave of needles before he reached one.

Haku peppered Jushiro with needles and kicked him back to the center of the dome, Jushiro slowly rose to his feet, "Damn Haku-chan you don't play around do you… those needles smart."

Haku's reflection appeared in all of the mirrors once more, "Please surrender, I really don't like hurting you both, I'd prefer it if we could both walk away from this but I cannot allow you to pass, Zabuza-sama cannot fail this mission."

The brothers stood back to back with defiant looks on their faces, "Sorry Haku-chan, but we can't lose here either, the people of this country need Gato gone, if we could we wouldn't fight you either, you seem like a genuinely good person, my kind of girl too… Fast, strong, kick-ass powers, and you're a hottie. I'm sorry but we have to break through." Jushiro smirked as Naruto steeled himself.

Haku picked up more senbon, "It seems that we must come to blows once and for all it seems, I would like to know your name seeing as how I already know Naruto-kun's."

Jushiro smiled, "Jushiro Moyomoto, at your service…"

"I see, I'm sorry Jushiro-kun, Naruto-kun, I cannot let you leave here alive." Senbon flew from all angles at the pair, despite blocking their fair share.

Both had ended up taking well over a dozen each, "Damn, hey runt… I'm starting to get sluggish movement, I hope you have a plan to get us out of this because I've got nothing."

Naruto pulled a few needles out, "I've got one move left, I just hope Zabuza didn't tell her about me or else this shit won't come close, it might actually kill us."

Jushiro pulled out a few himself, "Hell just do it, she's gonna kill us anyway so we might as well take a shot."

Naruto shrugged, "You better be ready with my cover, here goes, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

The dome filled with clones of Naruto that immediately rushed the walls of the dome, as Haku threw her senbon to stop them Jushiro's transmutation chakram circled the dome taking out a good chunk of her needles. A bulk of Naruto's clones reached the walls and with a simultaneous cry of "BOOM!" blew the ice dome to bits sending Haku flying towards the panic room of Gato.

"Fuck yeah! That was fucking crazy, I swear to Kami Big Boss that was not supposed to work, I just took a shot in the dark! Man I wished we had thought of that from the start, maybe then there wouldn't be stuck with needles in my ass." Naruto said while pulling senbon from said body part.

"Kid I only think that worked because you waited so long to do it, she seemed considerably slower than normal, and her mirrors shattered way too easily." Jushiro and Naruto walked over to Haku who was slumped against the side of the panic room, "Are we done Haku-chan?"

She looked up sadly, "Yes, I cannot defeat you two, keeping the mirrors up and repairing them from your attacks took lots of chakra, eventually you would have overwhelmed me regardless."

Jushiro smiled at her, "Yeah about that, for future reference, don't fight this kid in a battle of attrition, you can't win. Now that that's over, let's go get Gato's bitch-ass so I can get Eiko to give me a massage, Kami I'm sore."

"Wait!" The boys turned their attention back to Haku, "I only exist as a tool for Zabuza-sama, I have been defeated by you two, he has failed in his mission, there is no more need for a broken tool like me, please finish me off."

Naruto looked on in shock, Jushiro fixed her with a hard gaze before heading to the door, "No, I won't do that. You may not see it but there are many things you are meant to do, being a slave for your life is not one of them." Haku looked down sadly, knowing her pleading would not help, Jushiro tried the metal door to see it was stuck fast, "Otouto a little help here?" Naruto jogged over to the door, clapped his hands and placed them on the door, making an entrance. After hearing a cowardly cry the boys walked inside, "Gato… come on out and we won't fucking kill you. We'll just throw you in prison."

Naruto shook his head, "Big Boss that might be worse, you know what they'll make him do in prison? Toss the salad, shit I'd rather die than that."

Jushiro nodded and cringed as they heard an unfamiliar click, at a turn of their heads they saw Gato holding a weird metal increment pointing at them, "Hands up you ninja scum, don't know what this is do you? This, my backwater friends, is a pistol. It's all the rage far out west, expensive too, but I always knew I'd need it."

Jushiro gave him an admonishing look, "You don't want to do that… Say you actually do shoot one of us, you don't seem to be so good with that thing, whoever you don't shoot will fuck… you…up…, before you ready it again."

Gato shook in his boots, before calming and smiling, "Well let's just say I'm calling your bluff, NOW!"

POW!

Naruto and Jushiro were set to rush forward after finding out who was shot until a blur rushed in front of Naruto just as Gato pulled the trigger. Looking up Naruto saw a familiar kimono with long black hair in a bun at the top. "H-Haku-chan?"

She turned around with blood at her lips and a smile on her face, "If I couldn't serve Zabuza-sama effectively any longer I resolved to protect those pure of heart like you Naruto-kun, you… and your brother Jushiro-kun."

Jushiro looked on in shock as Haku collapsed to the floor, "Haku-chan no!"

The boys dropped to her side forgetting Gato was in the room, he took this time to slip away. Jushiro opened Haku's kimono to see blood seeping through her wrappings, "Shit, shit, shit! How the fuck do I fix this I need Eiko, I fucking need Eiko!"

Naruto sat in shocked silence watching his older brother do anything to help this pure-soul of a girl survive. 'Haku-chan… She took the hit for me… she… I… It was supposed to be me, it was supposed to be me…' "IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME!"

Jushiro felt the pressure in the room increase as he saw a faint red glow around Naruto, instead of fearing it he felt inspiration. "Naruto, Naruto… Look at me Naruto!" His otouto's sharp gaze shot to him, Jushiro immediately noticed the slit, blood red pupils, "Listen well, go get Eiko, fuck the plan, fuck her position and job for the mission, you go get her and bring her here as fast as you fucking can you got me, GO!" Naruto rushed out of the room onto the roof with his red aura whipping around him. He ran over the edge and down the side of the factory with a speed he never knew he had.

XxX

'Of all the bullshit situations…'

As the battle with Haku on the rooftop was climaxing, back inside Zabuza had found himself in a very compromising situation. After his stealth advantage had been neutralized by the massive strength of Mikhail Florian he found himself slowly losing ground in the fight. Mikhail had eventually punched a hole in the wall to suck out the mist, leaving him exposed against two jounin, he fought on for an extended length of time, but all involved in the fight knew that nothing short of catastrophic meltdown would keep the numbers game from taking effect.

Zabuza thought he had turned the tables when he cut Mikhail across the body, but this was just a part of their final checkmate, Kakashi secretly summoned his dogs to the scent of Mikhail's blood as they dug through the rubbled concrete, softened earlier by Mikhail's hammerfists to the ground, upon discovering Zabuza they bit down on his limbs, pinning him in place in a general wtf moment as this was almost exactly the position he was in during the first battle, kunai being substituted by dogs in this case.

"I can't believe I thought this shit would actually work… a two-on-one fight against jounin… Wow Zabuza what a gem of an idea…" Zabuza said to himself as the dog's jaws set in deeper.

Kakashi went through a few hand signs as he spoke, "Yeah… not really the smartest idea Zabuza… especially since our two genin probably killed Gato by now."

Zabuza, seemingly unfazed by the crackling death in Kakashi's hand continued making small talk, "Meh, maybe… I mean if those two were the ones who beat Raiga then Haku never had a chance, I just hope they left her alive… she wouldn't have killed them even if they had tried to kill her."

Kakashi eye smiled, Raikiri still in grasp, "Don't worry about that Zabuza, those two wouldn't kill her, but you won't ever find out if you don't surrender now."

Zabuza tried to shrug, but with a big-ass dog taking a bite out of your shoulder it's kind of hard. "Fine, fine it's over… Get your damn dogs off of me already, this is awkward."

Dispelling the dogs Kakashi and Mikhail walked over to Zabuza to collect Kubikiri Hochi, Zabuza, whose arms were utterly useless anyway, did not object. "Alright now let's go get our kids before they kill each other."

The crushing pressure of a chakra very familiar to Kakashi and Mikhail filled the room, Kakashi and Mikhail looked at one another in worry, "Let's hurry Zabuza, I don't want to find out how close to the truth I am."

XxX

"What in the hell is that?" Blank said as Eiko and Sakura jumped to his branch overlooking the factory

"What is it?" Sakura and Eiko said together.

Blank shrugged, "I… don't know." Blank allowed the girls to see what he saw. It started as a red flash atop the factory, it began moving down the wall and ran towards their location, before anyone could even gasp Naruto landed on their branch.

"**Eiko-chan, come with me now! We need your help!**" Hearing Naruto's crackly roaring voice only allowed Eiko to nod dumbly as he picked her up and took off back towards the factory roof.

Sakura and Blank sat in silence until Sasuke who had felt the presence landed on the branch, "What the hell was that?"

Sakura and Blank looked at him and spoke, "Naruto."

XxX

Jushiro was almost hysterically trying to stanch Haku's bleeding but was unable, "What the fuck! Why won't it stop bleeding?" Just as he was about to scream Eiko and Naruto appeared right next to him, Eiko looked to be shell-shocked but Jushiro pulled her by the wrist to the ground, "Eiko, this girl needs your help badly, can you stop her bleeding?"

Eiko snapped out of it, "Um maybe, what happened to her?"

"Gato pulled a gun on us, he was going to shoot Naruto, but Haku jumped in the way."

Eiko recoiled, "A gun? Where did he get a fucking gun?" She shook her head as she reached into her satchel and pulled out tweezers, "I need to pull the bullet out before anything. Give me some room."

Jushiro stood and grabbed Naruto, "Naruto, go fucking kill Gato, he'll just do this to someone else, take his ass down NOW!"

Naruto growled as he took a whiff of the air before tearing from the room, Gato's scent fresh in the air. Before diving off of the rooftop to the ground below he was seen by Kakashi, Mikhail, and Zabuza. Mikhail could only say one thing, "Naruto?" Kakashi shook his head looking for the others before seeing Jushiro through the open panic room door, "Jushiro what happened here?"

Jushiro stopped pacing and motioned for them to come over. As they got closer Zabuza's eyes widened, "HAKU!"

Kakashi began grilling Jushiro, "Jushiro what happened, why is Eiko here, what happened to this girl?"

Jushiro gave Zabuza a sympathetic look, "Don't worry Zabuza, we didn't do this, Kakashi I got Naruto to go get Eiko to help Haku-chan."

Zabuza was enraged, "What happened here!"

"Gato pulled a gun on us when we cornered him, a fucking gun! He was going to shoot Naruto when Haku took the shot for him. I sent him to go get Eiko to help save her life."

Kakashi still had one more important question but Zabuza seemed to want to know the answer more, "WHERE IS GATO!"

Jushiro smirked darkly in response to Zabuza's rage, "Don't you worry about that, I don't think anything you'll do to him will be close to what Naruto will do."

Kakashi and Mikhail exchanged another look, nether wanting to be the one to find Gato's body.

XxX

Gato had been running through the forest for minutes now, he knew what to do, he had avenues of escape all over the place, his closest was at the pier near the factory, as long as he could escape he would make Wave pay for hiring those damn ninja that had come so close to taking everything from him. He saw the water in the distance, he was so close, damn it why was he so out of shape. The sound of leaves crunching and twigs snapping seemed to be out of rhythm with his own hurried steps, but he was too close to safety to worry about that.

Breaking from the dark of the woods he turned to run towards the pier, his private yacht in sight, he would make a clean getaway after all. As his foot first touched the wooden dock he was smashed from behind by a powerful force, sending his dragging face first across the wood putting splinters in his face and cutting him up. He whimpered pitifully as he began to crawl forward, he dared not look back to see the eyes of his predator. A stomp to his achilles tendon that shattered the wood under it forced him to howl out in pain as he turned to grab the useless foot.

He looked up to see the face of the boy he had tried to shoot in the factory, the child had a bloodthirsty look in his eyes, as Gato fumbled for his revolver in fear he was slashed across the face and neck until the boy gripped the hand holding the gun. Jerking the short man to his feet by his arm he straightened his arm out and punched his elbow, bending the obviously broken limb at a ninety degree angle.

Gato screamed in horror and anguish as he fell again, begging off, hoping beyond all hope that this monster was intelligent, "No! Wait please stop! You don't want to do this! I'm rich, I'm powerful! I can get you anything you want in the world just name it! Money? As long as I'm here you'll never run out! Women? With my money and status and your strength the women will be spreading their legs all for you! You want land, status? WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!"

Naruto grabbed Gato by the neck, his choking gasps were music to his ears as his fingers dug into his neck. Tears formed in Gato's beady black eyes as they met Naruto's slit red ones. Naruto scratched his whisker-marks, "**What do I want…? Hmm… Oh! I Know, how about this… I want you to scream bitch…**" Naruto wrapped both hands around Gato's neck, squeezing it like a tube of toothpaste, for twenty long seconds before Naruto's blood-soaked hand dropped Gato's headless body he smirked… He had gotten his wish.

**Wow… looks like I finally earned that M rating huh? Next chapter should be pretty fucking interesting. I will be writing pissed because I have a fucking psychology test on the morrow and I have not been to that fucking class once, I'm a dumbass. Shit has gone down, Gato is now a fucking stain on the landscape and Naruto must cope with the brutal murder in cold blood. **

**I'm too legit to fucking quit, I've had people tell me I'm updating too fast, that's just because I've had the main points of this story lined up in my head for months, every line I write feels fantastic, like I'm taking a pent-up mental piss that was long overdue… Sorry for the graphic description but I'm sure you get my point.**

**Stay easy my peepulation, Kenchi out… again.**

**P.S. This was a fucking long chapter, I need some damn icy-hot.**


	10. My Own Personal Demon

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did I would be fucking astonished that no one thought of doing this yet. I mean I've seen stories that have Naruto with a Bleach twist, or Naruto with a One Piece twist, hell I've even seen Naruto with a Ranma twist, What. The. Fuck? It is mind boggling that as far as I've seen I'm the first guy to pull out a story like this. I could be wrong, there may already be a story like this, but for the purpose of my rant there isn't. If there is, please don't burst my bubble, I've got like 99 problems and I don't need self-esteem issues on top of that.

**Chapter 10: My Own Personal Demon**

After the final attack on Gato's stronghold the feeling in Wave was increasing with momentum. After knowledge of Gato's death reached the ears of the villagers they got together immediately and ran the remainder of Gato's cronies out of their town. Sasuke was slightly placated as he and the genin on the team that did not fight, minus Eiko, ended up helping the villagers dispose of the thugs. The village had rallied around the ninja who had come to help them in their time of need and after finding out that Naruto was the one who had dealt death to their tyrant he was elevated to god-like status among the people of Wave.

Being that with Gato gone there was no longer any threat against Tazuna and the bridge the ninja were allowed a reprieve for the time being. As they went out around town all any villager would ask about was things involving Naruto; what he looked like, what he was like, what he liked to do, all of these things and more. The only thing was that Naruto was not exactly around to be able to enjoy his newfound popularity in a foreign country. After the night of the attack Naruto would walk through the forest every morning and sit by the lake, just staring out at nothing. He would just sit for hours.

Kakashi couldn't budge him, even after giving him the obligatory 'killing is a part of ninja life' speech. Eiko, joined by Sakura after she came around to seeing Naruto for who he was, both tried to console him by telling him that they didn't think he was evil for how he killed Gato; it still did nothing, the most it got out of him was a nod and a small smile. Blank would sometimes just sit and stare with him for a few hours not saying a word, Blank wanted Naruto to initiate conversation, he didn't want to try and force it on the boy. Even Zabuza stopped by to say he would have done the same thing if he had been the one to catch Gato himself

Jushiro had not gone to see Naruto since the night in question. He had spent the majority of the time inside the house trying to take care of Haku. He felt 100 percent responsible for Haku's gunshot wound to her chest, if he and Naruto had not been messing around and underestimated him he would never have gotten the jump on them in the first place, they could have simply incapacitated him when they entered the room. He was also eternally grateful to her for the fact that she had put her life on the line for his otouto, she didn't have to take the gunshot for him, she chose to because she thought it was right. He could never repay her for that, he was just glad that Naruto had killed Gato so quickly. From what Kakashi had told him Naruto put the troll through the ringer before popping him like a pimple; gruesome, yes, totally deserved, you got it.

He had just walked back into the room housing Haku to find her awake. "Well, well sleepyhead it's good to see you back among the living."

He sat down next to her futon and waited for her to speak, "Zabuza-sama, is he okay?"

Jushiro nodded, "Yeah our jounin had him incapacitated and they allowed him to surrender before you got… well you know."

Haku reached to her chest where she still felt the pain, "How did I survive?"

Jushiro smirked, "Naruto got his ass into second-gear and ran to get Eiko for you, she might not actually be a full-on medical ninja but she's way better than the rest of us at that shit, I could hardly stop your bleeding long enough for her to get there…" Jushiro clinched his fists as he looked down to the floor, "I'm sorry Haku-chan… It's because of me and Naruto goofing around that you got hurt." He grabbed her hand, "If we had just looked for him the second we got inside instead of cracking jokes to psyche him out then that entire scenario would have never happened, because of us… because of me you got hurt, you almost died, I'm so sorry."

Haku raised his head with her hand, "I'm not mad at you, either of you. I could've stayed down outside, but I chose to stop the attack for you two instead of letting you die. I don't regret it because not only did I save you, you saved me, so I think we're even."

Haku winked at Jushiro and they laughed, "No Haku-chan I still owe you, you saved my little brother, I can't thank you enough for that. Without you I think today would be a whole lot worse right now."

Haku tilted her head slightly, "Um… how long was I out for Jushiro-kun?"

Jushiro paused to count on his fingers, "Umm… like for four days now."

Haku's eyes widened, "Really… wow." Jushiro nodded, "So has Zabuza-sama come to see me since?"

"Haku I've been here every damn hour for the last four days," Zabuza walked into the room with his arms crossed over his chest, "The only one that's been here more than me is your red-eyed romeo over there." Jushiro dead-panned a look and flipped Zabuza the bird while Haku giggled. Zabuza walked towards the two as he kneeled in front of Haku, "Haku, are you well? You were pretty bad back there."

Haku smiled and nodded, "Yes Zabuza-sama I'm fine Jushiro-kun and his teammate saved me."

Zabuza sighed, "Haku you don't have to call me Zabuza-sama anymore, you don't work for me any longer." Haku looked as if she would cry, "You don't follow my orders any longer after today, we've been captured by the Konoha ninja, they will be taking us with them when we leave this place, I don't know what will happen to me. I'm a missing ninja of Kirigakure, but you should be fine though, you aren't actually a ninja, in addition to that you are a child with a kekkai genkai." Haku recoiled at the mention of her bloodline, "Haku this isn't Kiri, in Konoha they actually embrace kekkai genkai."

Jushiro snorted in amusement, "Embrace? More like kiss their asses, you've seen Sasuke right, those villagers are his bitches." Zabuza raised a brow, "The Uchiha without a Sharingan? They embrace him? Your kid brother is twice the ninja he is."

Jushiro sighed, "I know, but it took three months to convince his team that; Kakashi didn't give a fuck until the first fight with you where Naruto saved his ass, his pink-haired teammate didn't care until Eiko grabbed her and slapped the bitch out of her last week, and the Uchiha kid still treats him like shit, although since Naruto made Gato look like a fucked up piñata I haven't heard a peep from him… It's actually been kind of nice around here lately, the Sakura girl is actually pretty nice when she isn't screeching."

Haku was now curious, "Jushiro-kun, what happened to Gato after he shot me?"

Jushiro looked at Zabuza who stared back, "What are you looking at me for kid, you saw the body too. She asked you not me. Tell her what she asked for."

Jushiro shrugged as he looked at Haku, "Alright then Haku-chan listen up because it ain't pretty, the runt fucked him up."

Haku raised her eyebrow, "How bad was it? What did he do?"

Jushiro shifted on the floor, "Well when I saw him he had his entire right foot crushed, his arm was totally shattered at the elbow, he had deep slashes on his face too… it sucked having to fish that thing out of the water."

Haku's eyes widened, "Fished? You fished his body out of the water."

Jushiro shook his head no, "No Haku-chan… I mean just his head, his body was still on the dock."

Haku almost fell back onto her pillow, "Naruto-kun cut his head off?"

Jushiro shook his head again, "Wrong again beautiful, Naruto didn't cut his head off so much as he ripped his head off, it was not clean, it was not even, it fucking looked like he pulled it from his neck like fucking taffy, like a goddamned broken pez dispenser." Haku's color had drained from her face, Jushiro noticed her discomfort and tried to cover Naruto's ass, "When you went down Haku-chan, Naruto took it hard, really hard. I think if he had started trying to keep you alive and I was off to the side like he was I think I would have butchered Gato worse than he did."

Zabuza nodded then spoke to Jushiro, "Speaking of the little brat he's been at the lake ever since the fight, I think he's in shock from his first kill."

Jushiro sighed, "No, it's not that, I made sure he was always ready for his first kill, and it being a guy like Gato… I don't think he could've popped his cherry on anyone better. No, I know what it is, sorry Haku-chan I've got to go save the kid from himself." He waved back as he left the room.

Zabuza spoke up, "Those are some weird-ass kids…"

Haku nodded, "Yeah, but they are the most interesting ninjas I've ever met."

XxX

Jushiro came out of the woods to see Sakura standing behind Naruto who was sitting on a rock looking out over the lake. Walking over he caught the attention of Sakura who ran up to him, "Jushiro, Naruto has been sitting out on that rock for days, I don't think I've seen him eat or sleep since that night, what happened to him?"

Jushiro looked at her, "You mean you didn't see Naruto or Gato's body after the fact?"

She shook her head, "No, I just know that he killed him, why is he so upset? Gato was scum, what he did to Haku… what he tried to do to you both, he shouldn't be so down."

Jushiro put his hands on her shoulders, "Get back to the house, relax, tell Kakashi I'm handling it, I'll be out here as long as he is so don't worry."

She looked up with worried eyes, "Are you sure, I want him to know I don't think he's a monster, that it's okay."

Jushiro furrowed his mouth, 'Somehow I don't think anyone's opinion will help right now…' "Trust me, this is a dude thing, if you're here he'll feel uncomfortable and then you'll hear some stuff that I'm sure you really don't want to hear, understand? " 'Well I didn't really lie to her.'

Sakura frowned but nodded and walked back to the house. After making sure she was gone he walked up to Naruto and slapped him on the back of his neck. Naruto turned while rubbing his neck, "Kami Big Boss, took you long enough to get out here. Do you know how close I was to cracking? I almost fucking told Sakura just now."

Jushiro flicked his ear and sat sown next to him, "Shut up, you're fine, you wouldn't have told her. Haku-chan just woke up like an hour ago, you know I stayed with her the entire time."

Naruto smirked, "I knew it, you're crushing on Haku-chan so hard…"

Jushiro narrowed his eyes, "Whatever kid, now come on I'm not here to fill you in on the daily scoop, go ahead and tell me why you're out here, I already know… but I want to hear it from you."

Naruto took a deep sigh, "You know about how I killed Gato right?"

Jushiro nodded, "Yeah, you beat the piss out of him and ripped his head off."

Naruto shook his head, "No I tortured him and then I squeezed his head off."

Jushiro went wide-eyed, "You squeezed it off, until it popped? Like a fucking champagne cork? …Well hot damn then."

Naruto's head was down while he nodded, "Yeah, and the scary thing was that I enjoyed every second of it, the chase, the beating, his screams… I think I almost jizzed in my pants when he started bribing me. It… was like I wasn't myself."

Jushiro nodded sagely, "It was the fox right?"

Naruto drooped further, "Uh huh, I think it just takes over whenever I'm overly stressed."

Jushiro looked confused, "But you've been upset before, you've been scared before, hell you've almost died before, you almost died the night I met you."

Naruto's head snapped up, "Umm actually Big Boss, now that I think about it I have had it happen before…"

Jushiro looked over, "What? When?"

Naruto smiled nervously, "The night we met, before I lost my arm. I was attacked by a mob of people, when I lost consciousness from their beating a voice said that it could give me power. I just wanted to live so I took it. Ever since then I've always had this little voice in my head, telling me to hurt people who mistreat me, to get my revenge on them. The level of the voice depends, like when Sasuke calls me dobe or Sakura calls me baka or something like that the voice will be faint, I can comprehend it but it's easy to ignore. The worst it ever was… was when Haku-chan was shot. I was so mad, it should've been me and I kept blaming Gato… The voice was so strong, so loud, I couldn't block it out and I gave in to it."

Naruto looked at his hands, "The power, it felt so good, I felt so much relief, like I was blocked up for so long and it just released. But I knew it was wrong, I knew it was wrong when you yelled at me to go get Eiko-chan, because all I could think about was getting her so I could go hunt Gato down and hurt him. And when I finally caught him, the feeling of crushing his body with my bare hands was…" Naruto shuddered, "I mean, even when I was popping his head off I was choking back my own bile, I felt disgusting, dirty, but it felt good Big Boss, and I'm afraid… what if next I have a hair-trigger temper and snap on someone close to me, if I maim them… or worse, I'd never forgive myself."

The two brothers sat in contemplative silence for a few minutes before Jushiro spoke, "So… just kick its ass."

Naruto gave him a look, "What the hell are you talking about you fucking dope fiend? Have you been eating Haku-chan's pain pills? What are you talking about, 'kick its ass' how the hell am I going to do that? It's inside me!"

Jushiro gave him an obvious look, "Yeah… exactly… it's inside you, it's not like you gotta go look for it or something."

Naruto started pulling his hair, "Big Boss, I have been awake for four days, I'm fucking tired, and you're babbling, give me a straight answer already!"

Jushiro grunted as he slapped Naruto across the face and started asking his shoulders, "The goddamn Kyuubi is sealed inside of you, you dumbass. If it can fuck with your mind then it's in your mind!"

Naruto half-understood, "I guess that makes sense, but how am I supposed to get to it? I think about it all the time and I can't reach it with thoughts."

Jushiro rubbed his chin, "So just meditate…"

Naruto gave him an odd look, "Meditate huh? That could work… But you said kick its ass, how the hell am I gonna kick its ass? It's the Kyuubi! You know the strongest demon in existence? Or did you fall asleep during that part of class, 'cause I sure as hell didn't."

Jushiro palmed his own head in frustration, "Kami it's like talking to a five year-old… Naruto! Yes the Kyuubi is the strongest demon in endiness, but it's your mind!" Naruto still looked lost, "Listen up, when you go into your head remember, the Kyuubi is only as strong as it was when it was outside roaming the Earth." Naruto was about to interrupt until Jushiro stopped him, "BUT… you aren't that limited, while the Kyuubi has a limit on exactly what it can do, no matter how strong it is, YOU DON'T. Think back to any kick-ass dream you ever had, EVER! Like the time you said you were swimming in an infinite bowl of miso ramen, that's fucking retarded kid! But do you know why it worked? Because it was in your mind… anything that you ever want to do, to create, to be… poof… if you can think it you can do it." Naruto looked terrified, "Just remember when you're facing that fucker down… infinite ramen. You go in there and make that furball your bitch, and you better win too, or else you won't be able to spend my mission pay when we go home."

Naruto slowly calmed down, though he still looked tense, "Okay Big Boss, I'm trusting you with this… You never let me down before, so I'll have to take your advice on this one."

Jushiro nodded, "So you ready to face him?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah I guess, but I suck at meditating… it'll take me forever to get into my head."

Jushiro gave him a big grin, "What are you thinking about right now?"

Naruto took up a thoughtful pose, "Hmm, well I guess I'm thinking about the fox… how big it's supposed to be, how strong it's supposed to be… it's supposed to be fucking huge Big Bo-"

Jushiro slammed his knee into the back of Naruto's head, knocking him out. Jushiro chuckled as he set Naruto down alongside the bank of the lake, "Sorry about the excessive force there brat… But I haven't knocked you out in years so I didn't know what it would take to put you down on the first shot." He turned back to the house, "Hmm, should be near dinner time… Don't worry, I'll just tell them you need some manly quiet time and to save you a plate for when you get back. Good luck runt… give 'em hell kid."

XxX

The next thing that Naruto knew he found himself laying in water, as he awoke and stood he found himself in a dreary, dark, water-logged corridor, "Damn you Big Boss, why am I here, who throws people in sewers anyway?" Naruto heard a deep rumbling as he decided to move forward through the water down the passage. Upon coming along a turn in the path he felt a heat and pressure that seemed familiar to him. 'Oh man… this is my mind, Big Boss put me here, and this has to be…'

Naruto steeled himself as best he could as he traversed his mind, the pressure growing more and more as he moved forward. Eventually he came upon a large chamber at the end of the hall. Inside of the chamber lay a cage far too large for Naruto to comprehend, however he could not see inside. As he got closer and closer to peer within he was forced to jump back swiftly as massive claws pushed themselves through the bars. **"It would be so easy just to eat you now and be done with it."** Came a deep crushing voice from within the cage. Naruto looked on as the Kyuubi loomed into full view, **"If only it weren't for this damn seal."**

Naruto looked towards the center of the cage to find a slip of paper with the kanji for 'seal' on it, "This is it… this is the only thing holding you back from destroying everything?"

The Kyuubi bared its fangs in what Naruto assumed was a smile, "**Yes, now be a good kit and remove that pesky seal would you?**"

Naruto shook his head fervently, "No way, if I do that then everyone I know is dead."

The Kyuubi's deep laughter boomed through the room, "**Yes perhaps you're right, but would that really be such a bad thing? No one respects you, no one cares, I can see your life through your eyes kit, there is only one person that I would bother to spare, one person who actually gave a damn about you, if you remove that seal consider it your revenge against the foul bastards who took your arm and your innocence. Rest assured that the one you call 'Big Boss' would be utterly safe from my wrath.**"

Naruto didn't even consider it, "No… I have people who care about me, I hav-"

The Kyuubi yelled at him filling the room with the strongest KI Naruto had ever felt, "**WHO! Who do you have besides him? Your pink-haired banshee of a teammate beat you regularly until last week, your Uchiha one will never give a damn about you. Your own teacher didn't care until you saved his life! And your brother's team? How long do you think they will stay loyal to you once they find out that I exist within you? They were alive and aware during my attack, the moment they learn the truth they will be just like the rest!**"

Naruto nodded his head, "Yes I know, but I made a choice about people a long time ago. Expect the worst, but hope for the best. I am fully aware that the second they all find out about it I'll be kicked off to the side just like I used to be. But that's my choice, I know that they aren't ready yet, but I hope that one day they will be… that's why you won't touch them."

The Kyuubi chuckled again, "**Well if you aren't here for that… I guess I know why you really came here to me.**"

Naruto felt slightly bolder, "Yeah, what the hell do you want from me? Why do you keep telling me to kill everyone?"

The Kyuubi laughed loudly this time, "**Because I can kit, because I wanted to, and because one day I knew you would give in fully to your rage. I have to say kit bravo for what you did to that Gato. That was more than I expected from you, you have much room for improvement, but then again you never ripped apart a person before… You'll get better in time. I haven't had so much fun in 5 years.**"

Naruto began shaking, "I knew it… I knew the second I found out about you that you were the one that did that that night. Stop telling me to kill people! I don't need you!"

The Kyuubi boomed, "**I couldn't care less if you think you need me you runt, I've saved your pathetic life more than you could ever know; all the beatings, poisonings, attempted murders… I kept you alive, if you die then I go with you and that will not happen!**" The Kyuubi calmed and smirked, "**However since you are here, I guess that that doesn't matter anymore… You can't block me out if you're standing right before me can you, you are forced to acknowledge my presence.**"

Red chakra began seeping from behind the bars and surrounded Naruto, "Wh-what are you doing, what's happening?"

The chakra kicked up a maelstrom around Naruto as the Kyuubi laughed, "**Before this I was simply implanting my will in your psyche, influencing your thoughts and trying to take over in times of extreme stress. But since you dumped yourself in my lap I'm going to go ahead and bypass that, speed it up if you will. You will be my vessel, feel honored knowing that your body will be the possession of the Kyuubi no Kitsune.**"

Naruto was in horrible pain as the red chakra began slipping into his body, he could feel it moving about in his system, 'No! I can't let this happen! The Kyuubi can't get out and I'll be damned if it's getting through me!' "NO!"

In an outward explosion Naruto threw the whipping cloak of chakra from his body. Panting heavily as he got to his feet he heard the sounds of laughing from the Kyuubi, "**So I see… You are far stronger than I give you credit for… No matter, you cannot handle another burst like that. I will have your mind very soon.**"

As Naruto looked up at the cage he was stressed, 'Damn it, the fucking fox is gonna take my mind… wait, my mind! Big Boss…' Naruto looked down at his hand and focused, a bowl of pork ramen formed in his grip.

A wide-eyed Naruto looked at the Kyuubi, "**So I see you want to enjoy a last meal before I devour you, very well, it does not matter.**"

Naruto placed the bowl near his nose, and inhaled, it looked like ramen, smelled like ramen, and as he sipped the hot broth he smacked his lips, it tasted like ramen. A smirk grew upon Naruto's lips as he walked towards the cage, "You know… I came in here to bargain with you, I came in here to strike a deal; you help me out by giving me chakra and staying out of my mind and I help you by granting you a few concessions. You ruined my life. It's because of you that a bastard felt the need to sever my arm from my body when I was six. You try to take my mind for your own, and while you have saved my life… you only did it for your own interest, if I knew what you had wanted I probably would have asked you to let the gate have me because I would never allow it."

Naruto finished as the Kyuubi laughed, "**That's very funny kit. You came to bargain? You won't allow me? Enough games, come here brat.**" The Kyuubi slmmed its massive claws through the cage to grab and drag Naruto within, Naruto caught the claw in his right hand and punched it with his left, breaking it.

As the Kyuubi recoiled in shock and pain Naruto kept walking forward, "You know… I really need to trust Big Boss more often, he was fucking right, he said that as strong as you are, you're in my head, whatever happens here happens because I allow it, if I desire your cage to shrink… poof."

As he said this, the size of the Kyuubi's cage began to retract and become far smaller, squeezing the frame of its huge body. "**What do you think you're doing boy?**"

Naruto smirked, "Whatever I want, I was asking you for this… Now I'm demanding it you furry pain in my ass. I will torment your ass for as long as I see fit until you concede defeat to me."

"**NEVER!**"

The Kyuubi let of a blast of scalding chakra, but Naruto stood in place and grinned, "What did I just say? In here you may be the Kyuubi… BUT I'M GOD!" Naruto put his hands out as a crackle was heard from his fingers, "Taste my lightning fucker!"

A savage blast of electricity coursed from Naruto's fingers as the Kyuubi howled in anguish. After minutes of that treatment he let it die down as he spoke again, "So are you ready to listen? Because that was more or less a test of what I could do. This is just the tip of this iceberg, trust me."

The Kyuubi's KI was at full blast, but Naruto knew that the Kyuubi's worst KI couldn't match the things Naruto had in mind, "**You ignorant insect! I am the Kyuubi! You will not own me, I will not bow to you!**"

Naruto shrugged, "I don't want to own you, I just want to be partners, but if you insist on acting like an ass then I guess I'll treat you like one." A giant whip appeared in Naruto's hand as he began lashing at the Kyuubi with strokes. As the Kyuubi howled in agony once more it found that it couldn't heal itself, "You won't be healing yourself now… I won't allow it." The beating continued for almost 30 minutes, the Kyuubi was cut to ribbons by the conclusion of the torture. "Are we done Kyuubi? Because I can do this all night if we have to, even longer, I'm not leaving until we come to a deal, and that was just my second idea." The Kyuubi layed on its side gazing weakly but defiantly at Naruto, "Okay, I keep telling you but since you won't give it up… Konoha Secret Taijutsu: Sennen Goroshi (A Thousand Years of Death)!"

The Kyuubi immediately snapped to attention, "**No, no, no, no, okay, okay enough you win… I quit… you are my master now…**"

Naruto walked into the cage and snapped his fingers, the Kyuubi's wounds and pain instantly vanished, "**What? How, I was-**"

Naruto sat in front of the Kyuubi cross-legged, "I told you, this is my mind, I can do anything I want in here. I can ride my bike with no handlebars in here."

The Kyuubi raised a brow, "**No handlebars?**"

Naruto grinned, "No handlebars. I can ride my bike with no handlebars, that should say it all."

"**Well boy, you have my attention, what do you need from me.**"

Naruto put his hand under his chin, "Well you see, I didn't think that far ahead before I came in here, I almost didn't think I'd get this far." Naruto grinned and rubbed the back of his head as the Kyuubi laid down, "Well, how about I ask you a few questions and you answer to start, this is a big deal, three hours ago I thought I'd be dead right now and I'm not ready to leave right now."

The Kyuubi swished its tails, "**Well I guess we could, but this place is so dreary, your mind really is a gutter kit.**"

Naruto stroked his chin, "Well this worked for everything else so why the hell not, where do you want to go?"

"**What do you mean?**"

Naruto smirked, "I hope this works or I'm gonna look stupid right now."

Gone was the chamber within the sewer, Naruto and a gigantic Kyuubi found themselves on the training grounds of Team 7. "Well hot damn then… I'm awesome. Huh, I thought you'd be bigger outside the cage."

The Kyuubi whipped its head around in confusion, "**What! Where are we kit? What happened to the cell?**"

Naruto shook his head, "I thought I already told you like five times already, this is my mind, I can do whatever the hell I want. And as for where we are, I thought you could see my life from my eyes, this is my team's training ground, I thought I would try to go somewhere familiar for the first try."

"**Ugh, thank you kit, I actually appreciate the change in scenery, looking at a sewer for 11 years gets very tiresome, I can finally stretch.**" Naruto watched as a blinding swirl of chakra surrounded the Kyuubi. As it dissipated Naruto's eyes almost popped out of his head. In place of a gigantic demon fox stood a lady with long red hair going down to her back and slitted red eyes. She had on a blood red kimono exposing quite a bit of her cleavage, on which there was a kanji for 'seal'. As he took a closer look he noticed she was barefoot with claws instead of nails on her hands and feet, she still had the nine tails swishing behind her, and instead of regular human ears she had fox ears. "**Aww, I'm disappointed kit, I expected more of a reaction from you than that.**"

Naruto snapped out of his less than honorable thoughts, "Honestly, the only reason I didn't pass out is because I'm technically already unconscious, if I was awake that would've put me out." Kyuubi giggled as she walked back towards the boy and sat down in the grass, "Well, I guess you answered my first question… I wanted to know if you were a boy or a girl because you kept being described as it."

Kyuubi smiled, "**Well now you know. Feel free to spread the word.**"

Naruto still looked confused, "Umm you can reach out and bonafide touch me now, why are you so docile? I thought you would be trying to kill me again when I took the bars down."

Kyuubi plucked some grass before answering, "**Because you already proved that I can't come close to harming you in here, now that you are fully aware of your mind-scape and that you control everything I'm more like a figment of it now. You don't really control me, but as long as you are aware that you control everything else I can't hurt you… that and I am not taking ****Sennen Goroshi**** from you, so what do you need?**"

"I've gotta know, why did you attack Konoha that night. If you hadn't you'd still be free, and I'd still have my arm."

Kyuubi sighed before motioning Naruto to sit next to her, "**Kit this is a story that no one will believe, do not tell them unless you are absolutely sure they have to know. Well I was summoned to attack your village by a mysterious force that I still don't comprehend, I saw a man with a Sharingan, I don't remember what exactly he looked like but he had one Sharingan eye, when I looked at it everything went dark, when I woke up I was inside of you.**"

"Huh, so you don't remember the attack itself, just the before and after?"

Kyuubi nodded, "**Exactly, I've got nothing.**"

Naruto stood up, "Well then, how about this… I'll let you change my mind-scape to whatever you want, but I still get final say whenever I enter it. Not only that but I'll find the person who hypnotized you to attack Konoha; I would throw in some way to give you a way to temporarily go outside my body seeing as how you aren't trying to rip my head off any longer, but I think that would equal a soul transmutation and according to what I know that would end up with nasty results for the both of us.

Kyuubi nodded, "**Those sound nice… much better than waiting in a cage for all time. But what do you need from myself?**"

Naruto stood over her, "I would like it if you could lend me your chakra to me without all of the feral side-effects, if you could think of some way to regulate it without making me lose my inhibitions that would be awesome. Also I think we should be able to speak when we need to, you could help with that because I can't meditate to save my life."

Kyuubi stood up as well, "**Alright kit, I guess since I can't fight you or take control then things will be pretty boring if I don't help you… and I don't think anything will be killing you for awhile even if I didn't help you, so you've got a deal.**"

Naruto put his hand out as Kyuubi shook it, "I will be back soon, count on seeing me a lot, do what you want with the place, I don't care… um how do I get out of here?"

Kyuubi smirked at Naruto as she moved behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "**Hmm, what do you think everyone is doing back at that house right now?**"

Naruto closed his eyes and grasped his chin, "Well… I guess they ate dinner already, Jushiro is probably with Haku-chan, Sasuke's training or brooding, Sakura's near him, Kaka-"

XxX

Naruto awoke to the sight of the moon in the sky, sitting up rubbing his head he cursed, "Damn it Big Boss, knocking me out like that. Damn it Kyuubi, knocking me out like that! Kami I feel like crap." He got to his feet and slogged through the woods back to Tazuna's house.

Upon reaching the front door he opened the door to find Team Jushiro plus Sakura playing cards, getting the notice of all in the living room he shot a half-hearted salute and dragged himself to the kitchen to find what leftovers there were. Ignoring the concerned looks of the women he sat on the couch with Sakura and Jushiro and sighed. Sakura looked him over, "Um Naruto? Are you okay now, do you still feel as bad as you did earlier."

His eyes darted onto hers making her look down as he smiled, "No Sakura-chan it's all good now. Thanks for the concern, I'm all right in my mind now though."

Looking at a smiling Jushiro he smirked, "Thanks Big Boss, I should listen to you more, your idea saved my ass… by the way," He hit Jushiro across the forehead with the back of his auto-mail hand, knocking him to the floor.

Ignoring Blank and Eiko, both howling with laughter, he stood up and went nose-to-nose with Naruto, "You fucking brat what was that for?"

Naruto didn't back down, "You knocked me the fuck out back at the lake asshole, you knew you weren't getting last licks."

Jushiro pushed his nose against Naruto's "I'm the older brother, I'm supposed to get last licks you runt!"

"Hey, hey, what's all the racket?" Kakashi said as he came downstairs and saw Naruto, "Ah Naruto, I'm glad you're back, did you get your head sorted out?" Kakashi eye-smiled at Naruto who nodded as Kakashi continued, "Remember how I said we needed to talk? Well let's do that right now."

Jushiro tried to move forward but Naruto sat him down as he himself stood up, "Alright Kakashi, let's go."

They walked outside to where the tree-climbing exercise had taken place as Kakashi began to speak, "Naruto… I know you have the Kyuubi in you. And I don't really care one way or the other; I meant to have this conversation with you back before the attack on Gato, but the few times I had contact with you after that the time wasn't appropriate, even now it really isn't, but I can't wait until we get back to Konoha to talk about this." Naruto nodded, "Naruto, when you attacked Gato I know you were under the influence of the Kyuubi's chakra."

Naruto spoke then, "Yeah I was, that's why I was out here for so long, it wasn't because I killed Gato, fuck Gato, I'd kill him again if I could. It wasn't that I killed Gato, it was how I killed Gato that shook me up. I tore him apart and popped his head off like a bottle cap. You saw the body." Kakashin nodded, "For four days I've been stewing and worrying until today when I faced off with the Kyuubi."

Kakashi's eye widened, "You faced off with it?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, I went into my mind to get some stuff straight, we ended up having a little scrap and she's cool now, no more vicious violent killings."

Kakashi's knees almost buckled, "You beat the Kyuubi? It's a she!"

Naruto was rolling on the ground at Kakashi's reaction, "Yeah Kakashi, I guess that was the reaction she wanted out of me when she showed me, and about me beating her; Big Boss gave me really good advice, that it was my mind, why would I not run my own mind?"

Naruto stood up and began walking back, "Now that everything is all copacetic and I told you all that you need to know I'm going back to the house, I'm tired."

He left Kakashi in the woods, "Wow, I can't believe he got this strong so quickly… who the hell sets the curriculum in the academy? If this kid is the dead-last I wouldn't trade him off for two more Sasukes."

XxX

That night had been very relaxing for Naruto, after staying downstairs with Team Jushiro and Sakura for the remainder of the night he fell asleep on the couch, getting his first sleep in almost a week. Even though he fell on Eiko, no one tried to move him because he was absolutely exhausted, Eiko thought it was more cute than anything else and simply curled up with the blonde kid in question on the couch, falling asleep with him.

After waking up rested and embarrassed the next morning he had his first challenge of the day, to pry himself from Eiko's sleepy death grip without waking her. After 10 minutes of worming his way out of her grasp to go do some light exercises he was found by Sakura who had informed him to meet at the bridge with everyone else. Challenge number two for the day was working his way through the village to get to the bridge in the first place.

His job would have been far easier had he chose to leave with Sakura, however being that he waited to leave instead of going immediately he was forced to wade through the throng of his new admirers. For the first 20 minutes of being stuck in place he had enjoyed it; not being used to such praise he loved moments where he was recognized for doing the right thing and helping people. After 45 minutes of fighting through the crowd he was thoroughly sick of it, he could see why Sasuke didn't acknowledge his hanger-ons in Konoha.

Roughly two hours after his excursion to the bridge began he finally arrived at a now complete bridge to find nine very upset shinobi waiting for him alongside Tazuna and his family. "Naruto are you gonna start being late like your sensei?" Blank said echoing the thoughts of every ninja there, "Sorry you guys, I got mugged by admirers and got held up way too long," He walked over to Sasuke and put his hand on his shoulder, "Sasuke I understand." Sasuke smiled at Naruto and nodded, 'Finally, someone who understands… he feels my pain, maybe the dobe isn't so bad after all.' The two were broken from their moment of mutual understanding by Tazuna's voice.

"For years we have been under the thumb of a corrupt power hungry tyrant. Never given a chance to live freely, to make better lives for ourselves, to carve out our own paths in life!" The crowd remained silent, "We were finally given the chance to free ourselves with this bridge, and these brave people were here to ensure our success! They fought Gato's thugs, they even battled against Gato's own hired ninja!" That statement forced Zabuza and Haku to shift uncomfortably while Kakashi chuckled, "Thanks to the efforts of these brave people who went to Gato's own stronghold and overthrew the monster, and we all know the one to finish the monster himself!" Jushiro shoved Naruto forward, before he could turn around to retaliate the people let out a raucous cheer for him, as Naruto blushed Tazuna continued, "These brave people gave us our second chance and I say, with the opening of this bridge we take it!" More cheers erupted as the people began to chant for their country.

After the ceremony the group of ninja said their goodbyes as Tazuna began to talk to Naruto, "So… kid. You know they're gonna name the bridge after you right?"

Naruto looked surprised, "No… no don't… Okay go ahead do it if that's what you want." Naruto said with a grin. Tazuna grinned back at the boy and patted him on the back as he turned to leave. As the group of ninja began to walk away Naruto shouted back at the villagers, "Hey! Don't go and get yourselves taken over by some asshole again! If you do then I'll come back and kick all of your asses!" Naruto walked away amid the cheers and farewells of the people.

"Damn dobe you really hammed it up back there huh?" A smirking Sasuke said.

Jushiro ignored it and slid up to Naruto's side, "So, you know they're gonna name that damn bridge after you right?" Naruto had a strange feeling of déjà vu, "We need to come up with a kickass nickname or title for you." Naruto gave him a 'what the fuck' look, "Think about it; Copy-Ninja Kakashi, the Bear-ninja Mikhail Florian, I could go on. Hell I call myself the Armory Alchemist. We gotta get you a catchy kick-ass title."

Naruto smirked, "Maybe… as long as it's better than 'the Armory Alchemist.'" Naruto got a decent chuckle out of the group and a grunt from Jushiro after that one. 'Hmm… A good nickname… I'll have to get to work on that."

**Posting this may help me blow off some steam, I more than likely failed my Psychology exam today… It probably doesn't help that I only went to class once since the semester started but hey, they don't take attendance and it's my only class on Tuesdays and Thursdays what would you do? This was kind of a cool-down chapter after the climax of the Wave arc. The ass-kickery will begin again shortly, hopefully I have a few entertaining swerves in store for the chunin exam arc. But it really is only set for one moment of awesome kick-ass kick ass-ness… You'll know it when you read it, trust me, I've been mulling the scene in question around in my head more than any other I've thought of for later.**

**The reason I post so quickly is because my college is in a small mountain town, not a damn thing happens around here… nothing. The cable is totally shitty, nothing good to watch** **on tv. And it is too goddamn cold to go outside and try to find something to do, plus my car is stuck by the wheels in ice and I have no shovel, how fun is that? I can't even go work out because I'm still healing from a hyper-extended elbow so I got that going on too.**

**Hell, by the time you read this the next chapter will probably be halfway done, but just remember: It's not dedication or responsibility, it's crushing boredom. Till the next, Kenchi out. **


	11. Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemists… I shouldn't have to write disclaimers that just serve to taunt me for that fact, why is life so cruel?

**Chapter 11: Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?**

The trip back to Konoha had been without incident, no random missing ninja attacks, no giant sword trying to cleave their heads off, nothing. The only problem was with Haku, she had been distracted by the festive atmosphere in Wave following the fall of Gato but now that she was on the road to Konoha as a glorified prisoner she had to face the thought of what awaited her and Zabuza once they had arrived in Konoha. Zabuza had told her that she would be alright but hadn't elaborated much on what he expected for himself afterward. She had stuck close to Jushiro who could sense her stress, acting oblivious however he was trying to lighten her mood and despite the half-hearted smiles she sent in return he knew he wasn't helping.

The trip had Naruto mostly thinking about all that had gone on over the last couple of weeks; he had fought a chunin alone and utterly destroyed him, he had fought two jounin and defeated them both, killing one, he had inspired a country to stand and fight for themselves, and killed the tyrant destroying the country single-handedly, not to mention the things he had done involving the Kyuubi, who had yet to have any breakthroughs on any of Naruto's requests. He had done all of these things, and yet he knew when he got back that no one would listen to a word he would say, and even if they did they wouldn't believe him anyway.

He thought about his time in Wave, the people treated him with some kind of respect, he didn't really dig the whole fan-worship thing but the fact was, when it was compared with the whole 'hating your guts for stuff you didn't do' thing he had to pick the lesser of two evils. Part of him wished he could stay in Wave instead of have to go home. Part of the reason he had no problems with staying in Konoha was because he had nowhere to compare it with, now that he had been somewhere where the people not only tolerated him, they loved him, he wasn't so sure if he could handle life in Konohagakure again.

"Hey isn't this where Sasuke-kun and Naruto fought those two chunin?"

Naruto was broken from thought by Sakura's recollection of a previous landmark of their trip. Naruto was dreading the return for another reason as well, what he had said about Sakura returning to old habits upon return to the village was looking more and more accurate the closer they were getting. She had seemed to turn a corner in Wave, but she was back trailing Sasuke when they had left, she hadn't said a full sentence to him since they began walking. Kakashi had been no different, Naruto had thought that with Kakashi taking him into the direct assault on Gato and talking with him afterwards that he had finally began to take an interest in more than just Sasuke, this train of thought was derailed as soon as the group got a decent distance from Wave, as Kakashi pulled Sasuke in and told him that they'd begin training to awaken his Sharingan after they got back home. That meant focused, specialized, personal training, this only meant that the only training that would be done with him involved would be sparring, he had been interested in learning Kanashibari from Eiko, but he didn't want to seem like a hanger-on to his brother's team.

Naruto eventually decided to see just how accurate his estimation of his team was, "Yeah, hey Sakura, what do you remember about it?"

Sakura tapped her chin, "I remember Sasuke-kun knocking his opponent out, but I don't remember what you did with yours Naruto."

Naruto sighed, 'Well at least she mentioned me in the story at all, and she didn't call me baka. Oh well, we still have the rest of the day for her to regress fully.'

Kakashi cut in, "Naruto did well against his opponent as well, now Sasuke after we report to the Hokage I'll go with you to your compound to begin your training."

Sakura cut in now, "But Kakashi-sensei… I thought we could get dinner together to celebrate our mission's success."

Kakashi eye-smiled, "Well Sakura we can get a team meal some other time. And Naruto's still open."

Sakura pouted, "I meant alone with Sasuke –kun."

Naruto rolled his eyes, 'Of course you did…'

Zabuza just mentally slapped himself while watching the scene unfold, 'Kami, what does the kid need to do to get some respect from these people, kill a sannin?'

Haku frowned as most of Team Jushiro shook their heads as Jushiro himself had his jaw dropped, 'How the hell can they STILL blow the kid off? He's half the fucking reason they aren't dead… man I need a cold beer and a burger, well at least if these idiots end up giving me gray hairs nobody will notice.' Haku just continued to frown as they trekked on.

XxX

"Halt, state your business in Konoha."

Kakashi sweat-dropped, "Kotetsu it's me… what do you think I'm doing here."

Kotetsu chuckled uncomfortably, "Sorry Kakashi, you know the drill, everyone who comes and goes has to check in." Kakashi sighed in annoyance, "Kakashi Hatake and Mikhail Florian returning with our genin students along with two prisoners that are to be escorted by us to Hokage-sama's office. Are we done?"

"Yeah Kakashi, go on ahead, rules are rules."

As the large group walked through Konoha's streets the looks they were getting made everyone but Naruto uncomfortable, him being used to the stares. Haku had by now almost stressed herself out to the point of tears thinking about all of the things that could happen. Her heart was pounding as they came to the largest building in the village, as the group ascended the stairs the large doors of the office of the Hokage came into view as Kakashi checked in with the secretary. Upon entering the office the Sandaime Hokage was busy speaking with his son Asuma Sarutobi. "Ah Kakashi, I see your team is well, Mikhail made it in time to provide adequate backup I assume."

Kakashi bowed, "Yes Hokage-sama, Upon leaving the village we were soon attacked by two chunin level ninja, Sasuke and Naruto went to engage as Sakura stayed back to protect Tazuna-san."

The Hokage took a puff of his pipe, "How did they do?"

Kakashi eye-smiled, "They both handled their opponents with relative ease, Naruto managed to extract information from them before we proceeded which proved valuable as we obtained knowledge of what we were really in for, apparently the two had been hired by Gato."

Asuma cut in, "Gato of the Gato Corporation?"

Kakashi nodded, "Yes, that Gato, apparently he was making a power-play to take control of the Land of Waves, Tazuna-san's bridge would have ruined his economic stranglehold on the country as was why he hired ninja to kill him. Among the ninja hired is the man standing behind me, Zabuza Momochi."

Zabuza stepped forward for presentation, "So… you run this village huh? Nice place."

The old man smirked as he motioned for Kakashi to continue the debriefing, "Zabuza first engaged us upon our arrival in Wave, he began with fighting me. Eventually he trapped me, this called my genin into action, or more accurately, Naruto."

Asuma was stunned, "Naruto? Really? That kid? The one who graduated last from the academy, what did he do?"

Naruto was about to flip when Zabuza snorted in his defense, "What didn't the brat do? He did things I have never seen before, he fought a way I never wish to see again, I would hate to fight that damn kid again… The brat almost killed me three times."

Kakashi picked up where he left off, "Yes, Naruto coordinated an assault on Zabuza that forced him to choose between keeping me trapped and taking a rather destructive jutsu head-on."

Hiruzen Sarutobi had not see this coming, even so he was proud of the blonde demon-carrier. "What else went on?"

Kakashi continued, "Before we could finish Zabuza off another person appeared and looked to have killed Zabuza themselves."

The old man looked puzzled, "Who?"

Haku nervously raised her hand with a sheepish smile, "Um, I did… it was me."

Sarutobi hid his surprise, "Carry on."

Kakashi obeyed, "After the battle Naruto had exposed her as a fake hunter ninja forcing her to flee, we continued on to Tazuna-san's home after Naruto had contacted Jushiro for our back-up and I had collapsed from over-using Sharingan. Upon arriving at the house we all rested until dusk when Mikhail arrived with his team for our back-up. The next day I had planned to train my team for another encounter with Zabuza and possibly Haku. I sent Naruto off to train with Mikhail and his team after he proved he had already known the technique I was teaching. I think I should let Jushiro tell the story from this point."

Naruto was put off by this, "Kakashi! Why can't I tell it?"

Kakashi didn't flinch, "Because while you were there Jushiro is the elder genin, also I think you'll embellish the story more than him."

Naruto dead-panned, "You really don't know us at all do you."

Jushiro smirked as he stepped forward slapping Naruto on the back, "Now, now runty, it's okay, I can tell it."

Asuma was getting bored, "Well one of you tell it, my ass is falling asleep."

Jushiro looked at the two Sarutobi, "You're a class-act Asuma. Okay so after the brat showed up Mikhail-sensei left to go watch Tazuna. When he left a storm started to kick up; you know wind howling, clouds a-rumbling, the works. Then we sensed some guy watching us and called him out. His name was Reina, or Rasta, or Ragu… Oh yeah it was Raiga!"

The two Sarutobi looked incredulously at each other before Hiruzen spoke, "Raiga Kurosuki? Of the 'Seven Swordsmen of The Mist?" Jushiro nodded.

Asuma looked at Naruto, "You fought two of the 'Seven Swordsmen' and lived, not only lived but won?"

Naruto tapped his foot in annoyance, "Yes, yes, for fuck's sake yes! If the bandage king over here told you it's true, Big Boss is telling you it's true, and I'm not fucking dead yet why the hell do you think it's a lie?"

Jushiro got angry, "Hey! Everybody shut the fuck up! I'm telling a goddamn story her, Kami, you rude bastards. Okay so he stepped out and was all like, 'I'm here for the blonde kid, I'll love giving you a funeral, blah blah blah.' So me and the runt started whipping his ass right? And when we think we killed him he gets fucking struck by lightning, no bullshit, I swear to Kami he stands up like a damn zombie and now he's faster than he was at first. So at some point he cuts down Random Hero over there and focuses on me and he strikes me with some static-y electric shit and paralyzes me for like 5 minutes. The runt gets up, and he's kind of paralyzed too at this point, and we start putting our big plan into place, eventually Naruto has him cornered, and he distracted him long enough for me to activate my final attack which put his bitch-ass six feet deep… literally."

Asuma still didn't believe the story, "How are you sure you killed him."

Naruto answered, "Oh trust me Asuma he's dead, he's totally fucking dead… if he survived that shit I will swear off ramen for life. If you had seen it for yourself… any of you… you would've crapped your fucking pants, no bullshit. The only reason I didn't is because I had a rough idea of what he was going to do, and with as long as it took to set up I knew it'd be something huge, as big as it was I'm surprised no one saw it."

"Quite." Hiruzen took another puff, "Okay Kakashi, continue."

The masked jounin picked up where he left off, "After that point Mikhail and myself begin thinking up potential ways to end the confict, due to a push from Naruto we ended up infiltrating Gato's HQ. Mikhail, myself, Jushiro, and Naruto went inside while the rest were our back-up outside. Not long after we entered we engaged Zabuza for a second time as he let the boys escape."

Hiruzen looked at Zabuza curiously, "I said I didn't want to fight that damn kid again and after hearing that the kid he was with helped him kill Raiga I'm glad I didn't."

Kakashi continued, "We fought Zabuza again, however this time Mikhail and myself quickly neutralized his advantages and subdued him. I'd tell you about Jushiro and Naruto's fight with Haku but we don't have time, long story short, they defeated her. Following that we went onto the roof to find that Gato had wounded Haku grievously with a firearm and fled, we saw Naruto run past us beginning to pursue Gato. Eventually Naruto caught and killed him when he resisted."

Once again the Sarutobi's were stunned silent, Asuma spoke, "Naruto, you already killed someone? You're only two months out of the academy."

Naruto picked his ear and flicked it, "Oh don't read too much into it, this wasn't my first kill by the way."

Kakashi was stunned now, "Naruto, you killed someone before Gato?"

Naruto sighed, "Yes Kakashi I did, it was some guy who had a problem with you know what, he got a wild hair up his ass one dreary October tenth after I met Big Boss, I was trained by then so I fucking killed him in retaliation, Jiji already knew about it."

"Well now then, tell me what we are to do with our guests?" The old Hokage asked.

Haku tensed up at hearing this as Naruto started to talk, "Well I mean this wasn't really as big a deal as the story makes it seem. Zabuza didn't really hurt us either time, I mean he tried, but hey, if I hated everybody that tried to kill me then I wouldn't talk to anyone would I? I would be super psyched if they could stay."

Kakashi agreed, "Yes, he did try to kill us but during our fight at Gato's headquarters but it was two-on-one, he couldn't really win. His apprentice didn't try to kill Naruto or Jushiro, and she actually saved their lives."

Jushiro cut in, "Yeah old man, Haku-chan's a good girl, I trust her with my own life." Haku smiled at Jushiro who smirked in return.

Hiruzen stood up looking over Haku and Zabuza, "Zabuza you tried to assassinate the leader of your first village, how could I trust you not to do the same to me?"

Zabuza scoffed, "Because the Mizukage was an asshole who was exterminating bloodlines, after he found out about Haku he tried to force me to hand her over to be killed, I don't think you'll try to force my hand like that though will you?"

The old man smiled, "Asuma, what do you think?"

Asuma sparked up a cigarette and took a drag, "I really don't know. After hearing that story I need to get my team in gear, I think if I had them fight Kakashi's team then Naruto would crush them alone, not even factoring in his team. I say go for it, what's the worst that can happen."

Sarutobi nodded, "Well we need to go through a short process before we can accept you as citizen and we need to give you an aptitude test if you still want to be shinobi. Now we just need to find you a place to live."

Naruto waved his hands in an excited fashion, "Oh we can handle that, the apartments next to ours aren't being used, but we can just move our extra stuff out of them, we were using them as storage."

Hiruzen smirked in satisfaction, "Okay then, I have to take these two for a short interrogation session before we can really let them stay, the rest of you are dismissed."

Jushiro saw Haku slightly panic at the mention of interrogation, "Um hey I think I should stay with Zabuza and Haku to make sure that they can get to our apartment afterward." Hiruzen nodded and smirked at Jushiro.

As the group left the tower Naruto and Jushiro lagged back, "Big Boss I knew you were into Haku-chan."

Jushiro grabbed him in a headlock, "Shut the fuck up brat!"

Naruto grinned through the choke, "I guess you didn't like Eiko-chan like that after all, hey if you marry Haku-chan will she be my sister?"

Jushiro squeezed tighter, 'Just a little more… you can get away with it, only the old man would search for him.' "Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You're being a spaz!"

"Hey, white-haired brat and blonde-brat, we'd like to get this over with so we can see where we'll be living already." Jushiro was broken from his murderous musings by a perturbed Zabuza and an amused Haku.

Kakashi chimed in, "Zabuza's right, you can fight later, you have responsibilities right now to him and Haku."

Naruto, still in Jushiro's headlock, disagreed, "No Kakashi, WE didn't agree to anything, I'm tired and hungry, Big Boss volunteered to go with them because he wants to be Haku's- *gasping*"

Jushiro started squeezing again, "Die, die, die, die… just go to sleep, go to sleep…"

Haku started pouting, "Can we just get going, I really don't feel like watching you choke Naruto-kun all night Jushiro-kun."

Naruto choked out, "Listen to the lady Big Boss; calm down, just calm down. Calm down, just calm down." Jushiro dropped Naruto and left with Zabuza and Haku, the remainder of the group had left when Jushiro began strangling Naruto the second time. Now all alone, Naruto headed back to his apartment.

XxX

Naruto was walking home from his daily D-ranked missions of torture, it seems that even his glorified hero status to an entire country was not enough to get him a better mission, "Man, what was the point of even going on the mission to Wave if I'm stuck doing this shit again." Naruto's ambush senses came into play as he turned around to see a cardboard box painted like a rock following him, "Konohamaru you better get out of that box and beat it or I'll smush you like a grape."

"Good Boss, I expect nothing less from my rival." The box exploded in a smoke of multiple colors, "I told you guys we used too much gunpowder." The smoke revealed three young academy students.

Naruto dead-panned a look, "What the hell do you guys want?" They broke into their introduction, the boy and girl with Konohamaru were named Udon and Moegi. Again Naruto dead-panned, "I know… you've only introduced yourselves to me like 7 times since I met the rest of you. Again, what the hell do you want, I'm beat."

The three kids got into begging position, "Boss you said you'd play ninja with us today."

Naruto gave a 'what the fuck' look at them, "When did I say something so stupid?"

Konohamaru answered, "You said that after we found you on the ground outside your apartment the other day."

Naruto shook his head at the memory, "Yeah… you see I just got through training, you shouldn't take anything I say after training with Big Boss seriously, I was probably concussed." The kids continued to beg while Moegi gave him puppy-dog eyes, "Ahh no! Puppy-dog eyes, my Achilles heel! Fine, fine, I'll play ninja with you just turn it off!" The three kids grinned in appeasement.

"Ugh a ninja playing ninja, that's just wrong."

Naruto and the kids turned to see Sakura walking towards them with a sour look on her face, 'Great… Sasuke must have turned her down again, here we go.'

Konohamaru looked confused, "Who's this Boss? Is this your girlfriend?"

Naruto had a look of horror on his face, "Konohamaru no! Don't-" Naruto was clipped with a heavy punch from Sakura, sending him into a fence.

The children ran up to him, "Boss are you ok!"

Naruto sat up grabbing his left jaw, "Ugh I'm fine, she's not my girlfriend Konohamaru, I don't even think she considers us friends…"

This made Sakura look down in guilt until Konohamaru spoke again, "Well you can do way better than her anyways Boss, I mean she's mean, her pink hair is kind of weird, and did you see her forehead? It's huge!"

Naruto looked over to see Sakura leaking killing intent from fifteen feet away, "Konohamaru how fast can you run?"

He perked up, "I'm fast Boss! Why?"

Naruto grabbed his head and turned it towards Sakura, "Because you might want to get moving or else you'll be playing ninja in the afterlife tonight." Sakura began running towards the kids and Naruto as they all got up to run.

"Boss why are you running?"

Naruto looked over to his small companion, "Because she already hit me once for some shit that you said, what do you think she'll do now?"

Konohamaru rounded a rather sharp corner only to crash into a black-clad ninja with face-paint and a hat that looked like cat ears, "That hurt you little punk, you should watch where you're going." He grabbed him by the collar and jerked him into the air, "Maybe I need to teach you how to watch where you're going."

The girl behind him walked up, "Kankuro, just drop him, we need to go before he shows up."

Naruto was grinding his teeth in rage, "Oh it's too late for that, because he is already here!"

Kankuro scoffed at him, "Temari check this kid out, this runt thinks he's the one we're talking about, please, as if a loser like you could intimidate us." Temari and Kankuro both smirked at the thought.

Naruto put on a dark grin, "You have no idea what I'm capable of, I'm a nightmare… for assholes like you, now put him down and I won't make you cry like a bitch."

The two foreign ninja began to laugh, angering Konohamaru, "Shut up you idiots! You don't know anything about Boss, he's the strongest man I know!"

Kankuro sneered, "I'm sick of you kid." He pulled him into a punch only to see a puff of smoke as his fist made contact, the next thing he saw was a wrapped fist make contact with his face and then nothing.

Temari looked on in pseudo-horror as the blonde boy they had written off had sent her brother flying with one punch. "Kankuro! What did you do!"

Naruto pulled his arm back and rubbed the bump on his head, "I just showed your douchebag ally there what exactly Kawarimi can do. He's lucky that he has a glass jaw, because if he had stayed awake I would've made good on my threat, but it's too much trouble now to wake him up and beat him if he's that easy to knock out."

Temari kneeled over Kankuro and shot a glare at Naruto's back, he then whipped around hitting her full blast with KI, "You better tell him to watch his fucking manners around here since you obviously aren't from around here, this is my fucking village, and I've got a douchebag body count that just keeps stacking every day… see that I don't have to add you two to my fucking shit list too, because what I just did doesn't even qualify as a stretch in my book."

As he turned to grab his group and leave he felt a prescence behind him, "Your name, I need to know your name, who are you?" Naruto turned to come face to face with a boy his age. He had red hair, rings around his eyes and a kanji for 'love' on his head.

Naruto went face-to –face with him, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, I guess that the make-up wearing piece of crap with the glass jaw belongs to you, you should teach your mutt some obedience skills."

The boy's face showed no change, "I am Sabaku no Gaara, and make no mistake, I will kill you Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto put on a phantom smirk, "If I had 100 ryo for every time I've heard that over the last seven years…" Naruto walked away, motioning his friends to follow.

Sakura was stunned, even after knowing somewhat of what Naruto could do she had still never seen him fight in person before, "Naruto what did you do?"

Naruto looked back as he kept walking, "I switched out with Konohamaru using Kawarimi when the guy with make-up threw the punch, and then I hit him with the 'miracle right'… glass jaw loser." Sakura hadn't really paid much attention to Naruto at all since they returned, she hadn't seen him fight at all during the mission, and despite what she had heard from all who had actually seen him she and Sasuke still didn't believe in his ability. Watching Naruto shoo off the kids to keep them out of trouble she once again wondered exactly what they had missed about him in school.

"Alright Sakura-chan I'm going home to get some rest, I've been run ragged trying to help Haku and Zabuza get settled in, now that it's done I need to crash." He threw a two-fingered salute over his shoulder as he walked away. She gave a half-hearted wave as she turned to return to her home as well.

XxX

Naruto returned to his top floor apartment, as he was standing outside the door he looked at the two apartments surrounding his own. To the left of his door was Zabuza's apartment, to the right of his door was Haku's apartment; being that she was a girl they had figured that it might be weird to have her live with Zabuza so they had given her an apartment of her own. When Naruto had mentioned being run ragged trying to get them settled in he mostly meant Haku had run him ragged. Zabuza had a rather Spartan-style set-up, just the basics; bed, stove, microwave, tables, couches, the most lavish thing he owned was a TV. Haku on the other hand had tried to get as much stuff as she could for her living space.

Jushiro had seen her eyes light up as she walked into what was to be her apartment and promptly high-tailed it after he and Naruto had set up her bed. Naruto had not possessed such foresight and asked her if he could do or get her anything else, being that he had gotten not only his pay, but due to the bet on Haku's gender, he had gotten Jushiro's pay for an A-ranked mission he figured that the least he could do for her after saving his life was to make sure she had all that she needed for her new life. His chivalry came back to bite him as for the better part of two weeks he was Haku's pack mule/ mobile wallet, she took him all over the city getting him to show her where to go for what she needed, a lot of which was certainly not necessary for anyone to have. After coming back from missions he would go get stuff for Haku and drag it back to the top floor apartment. In addition to this, after she had filled her apartment with what she wanted she could not be satisfied with where it was, she had Naruto pick up and move things around her house as she tried to figure where to put things. He had never been so glad to have icy-hot in his bathroom until now, this actually took the place of his training seeing as how it tired him out so much.

As he shook off the thoughts of his physical anguish he began to open his door to enter his apartment to find Haku sitting on the couch with Jushiro, a devilish grin appeared on his face, however Jushiro turned to look at the door and upon seeing Naruto's face gave him a 'don't even fuck with me right now' death glare. Naruto nodded and went to sit on an empty couch. Haku noticed him and spoke to the boy, "Oh hello Naruto-kun, how was your day?"

Naruto smiled at her before frowning, "Fantastic Haku-chan, I once again had a day filled full of action packed D-rank missions that tested my skills as a ninja, you should've seen me pick up that dog shit in the park, I was in the zone, or when I had to pull weeds, I showed that bastard flower bed who was boss."

Haku giggled as Jushiro openly laughed at his brother, "Ah sorry runt but I didn't quite share your day of doing chores for minimum wage, Mikhail-sensei let us enter the chunin exams and gave us the rest of the week off to prepare or rest, guess what I chose?"

Naruto lit up in understanding, "Oh so that's what those assholes were doing here."

Haku was curious, "What happened Naruto-kun?" He threw his legs over the side of the couch, "Well after we got through with the missions some asshole in make-up tried to hurt Konohamaru, before he could I got him first."

Haku looked shocked, "You got into a fight today Naruto-kun?"

Naruto smirked, "Well if you call one punch a fight then yes I did."

Jushiro laughed out loud, "You hit him with the right didn't you?" Upon seeing Naruto nod he laughed more, "I fucking love that arm man! It's hilarious to pick out the guys with chins like drywall when you hit 'em."

Haku still didn't know about Naruto's arm, no one other than Jushiro did for a matter of fact, for years he had done a very good job of keeping it secret. "Naruto-kun what's wrong with your arm, is it hurt?"

Naruto shook his head, "No Haku-chan, there's just a reason I need to keep it covered all the time, it's always covered, the only person who has ever seen it is Big Boss."

Jushiro shook his head, "No, Raiga saw it remember, but I guess that still counts, I mean who could he tell when he's dead?"

Haku was still curious, "Is it a kekkai genkai? I guess that would explain why it has to be covered."

Naruto and Jushiro chuckled and Haku pouted, "No Haku-chan it isn't a kekkai genkai either, I wish it was, maybe I'd get some damn respect around here if it was."

Jushiro looked into her eyes as he spoke seriously, "Haku-chan, Naruto's arm is a deep, dark secret. If anyone knew about it, its origin, what is actually wrong with it, nobody would ever look at him the same again; it could be for better or worse, but as we say: hope for the best and prepare for the worst." Haku looked hurt, "We want to trust you," Jushiro motioned to a nodding Naruto, "But the thing is that our circle is very small, the next time you go out with Naruto alone look around at the people, you might understand a lot about our situation."

Haku nodded sadly as she stood up, "Well I think I've been here for long enough, I need to rest up for my aptitude test tomorrow, good night Naruto-kun, Jushiro-kun."

Jushiro jumped to his feet, "Let me see you out Haku-chan, it's the right thing to do after all."

Naruto sat smirking in the couch, "Damn Big Boss she lives two feet away! If you like her that much I'll just knock down the wall in your bedrooms, would you both like that?" Jushiro leapt over the coffee table to lunge at Naruto, only he didn't get Naruto.

Naruto had clocked his brother's reaction to his observation on his 'chivalrous' behavior from a mile away. Naruto was intentionally 'poking the bear' as a way to get back at Jushiro for busting his balls about Hinata the night before he left for the Land of Waves. Naruto holds long grudges… Naruto had seen the attack coming from a mile away and had pulled a prepared Kawarimi to escape his brother's wrath. The object that he substituted for himself was proof that he really was damn good at the jutsu.

As Jushiro opened his eyes he felt himself wrapped around the torso of one Haku Momochi. Slowly lifting his head to the soundtrack of Naruto's raucous laughter he came face to face with a blushing Haku. "Finally… My revenge is complete, I fucking got you Big Boss! It took almost two months to set you up for something like this but I finally got you back for your bullshit!"

Jushiro sprung to his feet shooting a murderous look at Naruto, he didn't attack though, he didn't feel like a repeat performance, "You little bastard! I'm going to kill you motherfucker! I don't know how, and I don't know when, but I will get your little ass back for this do you hear me? You started something you can't finish. I'm comin' for you cornbread, I'm comin'!"

Naruto stood up, "Oh calm down Big Boss you know you liked it, and from the looks of things I would say that Haku-chan liked it too."

Naruto pointed at an intensely blushing Haku who stood up and passed the boys to leave, before shutting the door she gave a small smile to Jushiro. Jushiro sighed and lifted Naruto by his collar, "No physical punishment will do for this, I'm gonna make you suffer."

With that he left the apartment and shut the door. Naruto chuckled to himself before standing up and walking to Jushiro's bedroom. As he reached the wall that Jushiro's bed sat against he started knocking, "Hey Big Boss knock it off, Haku-chan has to rest for tomorrow, don't wear her out!" He heard fumbling and rapid footsteps as he hightailed it to his room and locked the door.

Laughing uncontrollably at the fact that he screwed Jushiro over once more for good measure he fell on his bed, 'That'll teach Big Boss to fuck with me.' He then heard a flash of light and looked at his door, eyes wide in horror.

His eyes rested on Jushiro standing in an open doorway with a look of death on his face. "Way to cock-block you little pain in my ass. You know what I said about bodily harm?" Naruto nodded dumbly, "I changed my mind…"

Haku sat on her bed paralyzed in embarrassment, 'How? He really knew that?' She had been mortified as Naruto had beaten on the wall joining their apartments just as she had began kissing Jushiro in her bed. She didn't budge for hours, as the only thing she heard for hours was the sound of Naruto learning the price one's younger sibling pays for breaking their big brother's attempt at making it.

XxX

Team 7 was sitting on the bridge that they usually populated while waiting on Kakashi. Sakura and Sasuke were currently sizing up the bruises, marks, scrapes, and band-aids resting on Naruto's face as he had his eyes closed. Sasuke's curiosity got the best of him, "Dobe what the hell happened to you? You look like you got jumped."

Sakura began panicking, "Oh no, Naruto those people from yesterday didn't come after you did they?"

Naruto opened his blackened blue eyes, "No Sakura those losers we saw yesterday didn't do this, Big Boss did it."

Sakura looked disgusted, "Your own brother did this to you? Why didn't you fight back?"

Naruto looked at her like she was crazy, "He's Big fucking Boss! He's the guy that trained me! Everything I know about fighting I learned from him! And I did fight back, I fought back and he beat my ass worse than he would've if I had just taken my licks. He said I deserved it and in hindsight… what I did was seriously fucked up."

Sasuke's eye-brow raised, "What in the name of Kami did you do to piss him off that badly?"

Naruto sighed, "Last night he and Haku-chan were probably going to do it, and I knocked on the wall and yelled at him not to wear her out."

Sasuke recoiled, "And he left you in one piece? You probably have marks everywhere on you just like those if not worse. You shouldn't even be able to stand right now."

Sakura hesitated, "Um Naruto, when you say 'doing it' do you mean-"

Naruto cut in, "Yes Sakura-chan, Big Boss and Haku were going to fuck."

Sasuke got in his face, "How are you able to walk? If it were me I would've crippled you!"

Naruto shivered, "I think he tried to, I kept blacking out but when I was awake I heard something that sounded like, 'Stop fucking healing,' I think he couldn't give me a clean break."

The kids were broken by their conversation when Kakashi shunshin-ed into view, "Hello, sorry I'm late I got-" Kakashi stopped his excuse for the day as he looked at Naruto, "What in Kami's name happened to you?"

Naruto sighed at having to repeat himself, "I cock-blocked Big Boss from Haku-chan last night."

Kakashi looked shocked, "And you can still walk? I would have crippled you."

Naruto shrugged, "I think he tried to."

Kakashi came over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, "Naruto that's not cool, you can't just block a man's cock like that. In the Land of Fire if you block someone's cock they are legally entitled to kill you. You should apologize for that."

Naruto sighed, "I'm sorry for blocking Big Boss's cock..."

Kakashi shook his head, "You shouldn't tell me, you have to tell him, I just hope you learned your lesson." Naruto nodded.

"Well I was going to make up an excuse as to why I was late, but I don't feel like it anymore, so here, this is the reason." The genin took forms from Kakashi

"What are these for Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked curiously.

Kakashi smiled, "These are forms for the chunin exam, I'm allowing you all to enter for the chance to be promoted." Naruto cheered as Sasuke smiled, Sakura looked slightly concerned, "You will all show up tomorrow at room 310 for the exam at 10 am. Make sure you have all you think you'll need for a mission." The kids nodded as they walked in their separate directions.

Naruto walked home through town as he saw someone familiar, "Hey Hinata!"

He ran towards the blue haired girl coming to a stop in front of her, "Oh h-hello Naruto-kun."

He smiled at her, "Well at least you cut down on stuttering in front of me, you don't have to feel so nervous around me, I won't bite… anywhere that will show." Hinata blushed as red as a tomato at the hidden statement while Naruto laughed, "I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, your face is priceless right now; I didn't mean to embarrass you so badly."

She repressed her blush to a faint one along her cheeks, "Naruto-kun it's alright."

Naruto began walking with her as they headed back to the Hyuuga compound, "So Hinata, I'm going to be in the chunin exams tomorrow, what about you?"

She turned her eyes to the ground, "I don't know if I'll take part, Kiba and Shino are far stronger than me. I don't think I'll do very well."

Naruto grabbed her shoulders, "So? I might not do so hot myself, I'm still gonna go, even if I do fail that's not the point, if I ran away every time something got tough or dangerous I'd never have made it this far, I might even be dead. Just don't question yourself, if you quit you'll never grow stronger."

She looked at him and nodded rapidly, "Good, now we're here, get some rest… I need to heal. I'll see you later, maybe even in the exams."

He ran off before she could answer, 'Maybe Naruto-kun is right, this could be the thing I need to change.' She walked past the guards and entered the compound.

XxX

The next day Naruto met his team outside of the academy building, "Well looks like we're all here. So let's go get promoted!" Sasuke smirked and nodded, Sakura smiled.

As they came up a set of stairs they saw a group of people standing outside of room 310, the way was being blocked by two ninja, "If you weaklings can't get past us you'll never be chunin."

As they got closer they saw a green-clad boy on the ground as a girl with buns and a pink chinese shirt kneeled next to him, "We just want to get through to take the chunin exams." Sasuke hit Naruto's arm and told him to grab Sakura, he did as instructed and left the hallway.

In a huge empty stairwell they spoke, "What's up Sasuke, what's going on?"

Sasuke looked around, "That room sign had a genjutsu on it, we're on the second floor."

"So someone else did know?" Team 7 turned to see the team held back at the door being led by a white-eyed boy that reminded Naruto of Hinata. The groups moved together, "That genjutsu was meant to hold the weaker teams back from entering. You… what's your name."

Naruto figured he was talking to him, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

The boy scoffed, "Not you loser, you, the Uchiha."

Naruto sucked his teeth, Sasuke smirked, "You should give your own name before asking for someone else's." The boy narrowed his eyes as Sasuke spoke again, "Sakura, Naruto, let's go." As they looked back while leaving they noticed different things; Naruto obviously knew that the white-eyed kid was related to Hinata, yet he was nothing like her, he found that weird. Sasuke noticed that there were some interesting people at this thing, he felt excited at the first chance to prove his skill. Sakura noticed the wink and thumbs up from the kid in the green spandex which gave her a shiver.

As they climbed the stairs Naruto heaved a big sigh, "Why do I get the feeling that this entire exam is going to be one big freak-show?"

Sasuke smirked, "I don't know, It seems like it'll be pretty interesting to me."

As they reached room 310 they found Kakashi waiting, "Well it looks like you all showed up, now I guess I can let you all take the exam." Upon seeing their confused faces he elaborated, "If one of you had failed to show up I couldn't have let you in, a complete team of genin is required to take the chunin exams."

Naruto spoke up, "Why didn't you just tell us that?"

Kakashi looked at the three, "Because if I had told you then Sakura would have felt pressured to compete, she wouldn't have wanted to disappoint you by failing to show." The two nodded, "Well I guess it doesn't matter since you did all show up. Go on ahead." The genin opened the door to enter room 310.

**Another filler chapter to get through, I might combine test one and two for next chapter, it depends on the length of both. Not much to rant on except that the test I was bitching about failing after the last chapter… I passed that shit boy! Sure, I got a 60, the lowest passing grade available but when you don't ever show up I consider it a smashing success. I feel like shit but my weekend is full up, game on.**

**I'm not planning on getting smashed this weekend, I like retaining control of my motor skills. I needs my motors skills to do write good like. **

**Kenchi out.**


	12. Fighting Dirty is Fighting To Win

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did then you can bet that I would run those things into the ground. I have a need to please myself with what I want to write, if I wrote for them then they would be more vulgar, less formal, and the main character would actually get laid; the way both stories are going neither Naruto or Ed are going to get any before they die their untimely deaths… I want you to quote this and blast the creators's asses when it happens.

**Chapter 12: Fighting Dirty is Fighting to Win**

Team 7 walked into the room brimming with confidence, until they saw the look on every other team's faces. Sasuke remained excited as he stared right back, Sakura felt her confidence just drop to the floor, Naruto's eyes began scanning the room, he saw familiar faces as he scanned around. He saw the team he had met out on the stairs, he also found the team of ninja he had threatened yesterday, upon making eye contact with them he gave an evil grin, this did three things; Kankuro, who had a nasty bruise and swelling around his mouth from Naruto's 5-finger gift, stopped his glare and looked absently around the room, Temari glared slightly and followed suit, Gaara just stared at him. Naruto was broken from his long-distance pissing contest with the red-head by the sounds of squealing.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Naruto turned to see Sakura glaring daggers at Ino as she was glomping onto Sasuke, "Ino-pig get off of Sasuke-kun!" Ino pulled down her eye-lid in response.

Naruto then saw Shikamaru come up, "Troublesome, you guys are in this thing too?"

Naruto walked up, "Shikamaru if it's so 'troublesome' then why did you even bother showing up?"

Shikamaru placed his hands into his pockets, "Because Ino would never have shut up about it if I hadn't." Naruto nodded sagely.

"Well check it out! It's the nine rookies!" Kiba said loudly strolling onto the scene. Naruto gave a two-fingered salute to Kiba and Shino who acknowledged him.

He saw Hinata and smiled before walking up to her, "What are you doing back here Hinata? I see you decided to come after all, I'm glad to see you." She started blushing as another voice stopped his conversation,

"You guys are way too loud, are you trying to draw attention to yourselves?"

All of the rookies looked up to see a boy in glasses with white-hair walking towards them, Kiba turned on him, "What do you know? Who are you anyway?"

The boy adjusted his glasses before speaking, "I'm Kabuto Yakushi, this will be my 8th time taking these exams."

Kiba smirked, "Wow, you must really suck huh?"

Kabuto chuckled, "Maybe the exams are just that hard? But anyway I have collected info on all the villages and genin competing in this exam. Just ask me about anybody competing in this exam and I can give you the low-down on them."

Sasuke walked up, "Let me see Sabaku no Gaara, Jushiro Moyomoto, and Naruto Uzumaki."

Kabuto shuffled through his card, "Aw that's no fun, you already know their names."

As Kabuto went through the cards Naruto raised an eyebrow, "You met Gaara too?"

Sasuke nodded, "Yeah, he showed up at my compound while I was training, he said something about me being interesting and left, I never felt him approach."

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, I beat up his teammate yesterday and he showed up and said he's definitely going to kill me, weird guy."

Kabuto pulled out his cards, "Alright here we go; Sabaku no Gaara, says here he's a genin of Sunagakure, teammates are Sabaku no Temari and Sabaku no Kankuro, no actual skills on record, the guy's a mystery; age: 12, He's been on 15 C-ranked, 3 B-ranked, and whoa, 10 A-ranked missions, says here he never even took any damage."

Naruto raised his brows in intrigue, 'Hmm, well he has a glass jaw then, good to know.'

Kabuto continued, "Next up: Jushiro Moyomoto, genin of Konohagakure, formerly of Capitol City in the Land of Fire; Known relatives, deceased, his teammates are Eiko Tanahashi and Blank Nogami, known ninja skills unrecorded; age: 14, He's had 78 D-ranked missions, 31 C-ranked missions, 0 B-ranked missions, and 3 A-ranked missions; a side note says he is the surrogate brother and guardian of Naruto Uzumaki. Known in some circles as the Armory Alchemist."

Naruto snorted, "People actually call him that stupid name? Hilarious."

Ino butted in, "I didn't know you had a brother Naruto, how long has he lived with you?"

Naruto gave her a disbelieving look, "Are you kidding me? He's lived with me since I was six. He took me to the academy every day. We had to beat up kids that would fuck with us at lunch all the damn time."

Ino defended herself, "I didn't pay attention to that stuff."

Naruto scoffed, "You mean you didn't give a damn."

Ino again tried defending herself, "You never told us you had a brother!"

Naruto turned back to Kabuto, "You never asked."

Kabuto pulled out one more card, "Okay last up: Naruto Uzumaki, a genin of Konohagakure, says he has no known living relatives, his teammates are Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha, known ninja skills; average taijutsu, high stealth and tactics, high ninjutsu, and almost non-existent genjutsu, age: 11, He's had 31 D-ranked missions, 1 C-ranked mission, 0 B-ranked missions, and 1 A-ranked mission; a side note says he is the surrogate brother of Jushiro Moyomoto, wow it says he holds the bounties for the Demon Brothers of the Mist and Raiga Kurosuki though he shares this with his brother."

Kiba asked, "Who is Raiga Kurosuki?"

Kabuto adjusted his glasses, "Raiga Kurosuki is-… Was one of the 'Seven Swordsmen of the Mist,' He fell off of every village's grid about two months ago in the Land of Waves."

All of the rookie 9 minus Team 7 were shocked at this, except Naruto who was slightly pissed, "Kabuto your cards suck, you probably got all of your info on me from right after I graduated and moved on, average taijutsu means that I was adequate at academy taijutsu which is bullshit because I never got to fight because I used to wreck kids with one or two punches so they stopped letting me spar during my second year. I don't use that horrible academy crap."

Chouji resumed eating after a second, "What do you use then Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head and closed his eyes, "I don't think I should actually tell you, I mean this is actually a blessing, none of you know a thing about how I fight except maybe my teammates, but they've only seen me fight for real once against our sensei, and I don't think they were paying attention." Seeing the look on everyone's face he turned to see all of the older genin glaring at him. Naruto jumped on his desk showing his canines, "Alright you dirty bastards, this here is my house! If you all want to keep up that fucking glaring I'm gonna have to take that as a challenge, if so would all of those that are wanting to get their asses curb stomped by Naruto Uzumaki please form an orderly single file line on the stairs and politely bite the top step? I'll be with you momentarily!" As the genin moved from their spots to accept his challenge a blast was heard from the front of the class.

"Alright all of you shut the hell up!" A scarred man in a bandana and trench coat began pouring out massive KI affecting everyone in the room except Naruto and Jushiro because they just didn't care. "I am your first proctor, Ibiki Morino! All of you are now taking the chunin exams! There will be no fighting without my permission from here on out, understood!"

Two distinct voices sounded off deep in the room, "You got it Scarface!" Ibiki whipped his head around the room to see a white-haired red-eyed boy and a blonde-haired blue-eyed boy grinning madly until they made eye contact.

Jushiro grinned widely and cupped his hands to his mouth, "Runt! You're here too? What's up?"

Naruto yelled back, "I told you I'd be in the chunin exams Big Boss, weren't you listening last night!"

Jushiro shrugged, "Not really no, I thought you were just full of shit so I tuned you out!"

Naruto snapped at him, "Fuck you Big Boss! Hey, where's Eiko-chan!"

Jushiro pulled up a waving Eiko who smiled nervously, "Right Here, Why!"

Naruto grinned, "Hey Eiko-chan! Big Boss was telling the truth, he doesn't dig you like that! He actually wants Haku-chan!"

"I'll kill you! You little motherfucker! Let me go Blank he has to die!"

"SHUT UP! All of you come here and get your assigned seats!" Jushiro continued to flip out, "For the safety of the other test takers you better hope you didn't put me next to Naruto, I'm gonna fuck him up when he gets within arm's reach, chunin exams be damned!"

As the rookie 9 went down to grab their numbers Ino got close to Naruto, "That's your brother?"

He nodded, "Why?"

Ino spoke, "Why do you pick with him like that?"

Naruto smiled at her, "Because it's a fucking blast Ino."

The genin had all taken their seats, Naruto couldn't find his team anywhere in the room, as he was handed a sheet of paper he continued to scan. Ibiki cleared his throat loudly to break Naruto from his search, "Alright, now the first exam will consist of a written test."

"FUCK!"

Once again two familiar voices echoed throughout the room. Ibiki ignored them and continued, "You will each have 10 points to start, for each question you miss or leave blank you will lose a point, if you are caught cheating you will lose 2 points every time you are caught and if you are caught three times you and your team will fail, you will also be scored as a team."

"FUCK!"

Ibiki smirked at hearing the brothers once again, "The teams must amass a combined score of at least 6 points to pass, and if a team member fails to answer a single question your team will fail."

"FUCK!" "

You have 3 hours to answer the first 9 questions, at the end of that time the 10th question will be handed out. Begin!"

XxX

'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What the hell am I gonna do?' Naruto was freaking out in his chair as he looked over the questions, 'I can't answer this bull-shit! What am I a fucking scientific calculator? Give me a question about what the formula is inside a smoke bomb, or name all of the metals that comprise a retail kunai? No… you've got to give me these bullshit theory question, who can answer this crap!' Naruto heard a sneeze that sounded as if it came from Sakura. He began jerking his head around to get a feel for his surroundings when he saw a very familiar face among the proctors, 'Haku-chan?' Haku felt his eyes on her, she looked up and smiled at him, this eased him for a moment as he smiled back until he looked back at his paper and frowned.

Naruto was at the end of his rope by an hour and ten minutes into the test. 'Fuck, I've gotta cheat! I've gotta cheat, it's my only shot.'

He heard a hiss to his side, turning to his right he saw Hinata, as she put her paper out she began whispering, "Naruto-kun… You can look on my paper for the answers… I don't mind."

Naruto's face lit up, 'Holy shit no way, I'm not that lucky! Not only does she have all of the answers she wants me to cheat off of her!'

She shifted in her seat, "I just don't want you to fail and have to go away…" Naruto was about to take her up on her offer until a kunai thudded directly behind him.

"Number 54… FAIL!"

As Naruto saw the boy be forcibly removed from the exam he looked down, "No Hinata it's alright, put your paper up, I don't want you to put yourself in trouble just to help me… I may be as slow as quick-dry cement, but I'm a survivor, I'll pass this somehow… don't you worry." He gave her a confident smile that put her at ease. 'Yeah right, what the fuck, cheating is my only shot, but if I do get an answer I'll just end up losing two points for it… That's it! I just need to get more than two answers in one try! How the hell am I gonna do that?'

Naruto looked from his peripheral vision to the left, a boy sat there with his head tilted back and eyes closed. When Naruto looked down he saw this guy had stuff on his paper, a lot of stuff, in fact he could swear his paper was complete. Naruto had a flash of brilliance and cunning before weighing his options, 'Okay, doing this will screw this guy over but my only other option is Hinata, enough said… Okay, it's me or him… fuck this guy'

Naruto tapped the boy on his shoulder, the lazy genin looked over at him, "What the hell do you want?"

Naruto grinned brightly before placing his left hand on the boy's shoulder and pulling him into a vicious haymaker that sent the boy flying into a proctor across the room. A still grinning Naruto picked up the unconscious boy's paper, erased his name and put his own on before looking around at all of the shocked faces in the room, "The fuck are ya'll looking at!"

Ibiki recovered from shock before everyone else as he began grilling Naruto, "Number 32, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Naruto grinned at the scarred man, "Getting my answers, you didn't say we couldn't cheat, you just said you'd take away points if we did, I now have all my points so take away two, I don't care."

Ibiki's lips twitched, "What makes you think I won't fail you?"

Naruto threw his feet on his desk, "Because your test is totally asinine and I beat the system, you set it up so that we have to cheat without getting caught, how the fuck are people without a jutsu or kekkai genkai tailored for such a thing supposed to do that? It's a fucked up system of favoritism for people with the birth-right, guys like me and Big Boss are as stealthy as all get out, but when you tie our hands like this there's not much subtlety we can do to get the job done. If I was gonna get caught cheating ANYWAY! Then I might as well take that motherfucker for everything in one shot, all you can do is deduct the points for cheating once so tally 'em up Scarface I still got eight."

A thud against a desk across the room could be heard as Jushiro shouted, "FUCK! That's brilliant! Why the fuck didn't I think of that!"

Ibiki had to admit, he had his excuse together, "I said that you couldn't fight without my permission…"

Naruto grinned wider, "Oh yeah… well if you call one punch a fight. So… can I fight?"

Ibiki grinned back at the blonde demon carrier, "Fine, I'll allow it, but if anyone else tries it you will be kicked out of the exam!"

An uproar broke out when Kankuro stood up, "Then why the hell can he get away with it?"

Ibiki snapped at them, "Because he did it first, and I don't think the same thing will work twice now that everyone will be on their guard. And he did ask, even if it was after the fact."

With the crowd placated Naruto turned to look at Hinata who was smiling with a blush at him, he nodded and winked at her as she turned her sight to the desk and turned red. Naruto then looked up at Haku who was smiling brightly and shaking her head, Naruto smiled back and shrugged as he kicked back and shut his eyes to wait for the tenth question.

XxX

"WHAT!"

A cry of outrage could be heard from many of the genin taking the first exam, Ibiki just stood motionless waiting for the noise to pass, "You heard me, you can choose to take the tenth question or not; if you decline the question then you and your team are eliminated from the exam, but if you take the question and answer incorrectly you will forever remain genin, unable to take the advancement test."

Kiba stood up, "That's bull! There are tons of people here that have taken the exam before!"

Ibiki chuckled, "Well I guess you are just unlucky that I happened to be the proctor for your first exam then." Seeing that no argument was going to change his mind the genin began weighing their options. Naruto was not one of them, after hearing Ibiki's initial proclamation of the final question he just tilted his head back and waited for him to actually ask it.

Shortly into the silence a few participants lost their nerve and began dropping out as the teams filed out he turned his attention to a Naruto that was resting his eyes, "Number 32, what about you? Are you willing to risk staying at genin for the rest of your career?"

Naruto opened his eyes and looked at Ibiki, "Well yeah, so?"

This threw Ibiki off slightly, "Why are you not even hesitating?"

Naruto stood up and slammed his hands on the desk staring at Ibiki with a blank look, "I'm not really afraid of bullshit ultimatums, I should have died 5 years ago so I see every day that I wake up today as a gift. If you are afraid of failure then you will never succeed, only if you risk failing will you ever be given the opportunity to succeed." Stepping a foot on his desk he continued, "I'm a failure, sometimes half of life's fun is failing… getting up, dusting yourself off, waking up the next day and saying, 'Okay… here I am again, a little smarter, a little hungrier, and really not looking forward to getting my ass kicked like I did yesterday… so I'm just a little bit more dangerous."

Ibiki gave him an appraising look, "And this is how you feel?"

Naruto stared right back, "I don't go back on my word… that's my ninja way. Time to nut up or shut up."

Ibiki looked around for a minute or two, 'Well I guess everyone that was going to leave just got stopped by that little outburst… looks like some decent candidates this time.' "Very well, for those of you that are remaining… You all pass."

4 dozen sweat-drops and face-faults were seen and heard around the room. "The final question was not meant as a test of your knowledge, it was meant as a way to see if you had the drive to carry out missions that could have a life or death ultimatum; a situation that puts you in a life or death scenario."

Temari shouted out, "But what about the first part of the test?"

Ibiki chuckled, "I thought that we went over that when number 32 put on his little show." Naruto turned and bowed to the crowd, "It was meant to see how you gather info, although now I guess I have to re-evaluate the exam because, even if you could have put it differently you were right." Naruto gave Ibiki a two-fingered salute, "Nevertheless, gathering information is an important part of work as an elite ninja." He paused to remove his bandana to show off his scars, burns, and slashes, "Information is vital to a village's success, people are tortured and killed over it every day, of course for you to cheat you needed people who already had the answers."

Random test takers stood and waved, "Number 32, that boy who you knocked out and took his test… he was one too."

Naruto grinned, "Sweet… can I get a bonus for the next part then?" Dead silence filled the room until a very scary thing happened, Ibiki Morino began laughing at the statement made by Naruto. As everyone else looked on in horror Naruto joined in, "Ha ha, damn, well it was worth a shot right?"

As the two continued to laugh A banner came crashing through the window, "Alright you maggots listen up! I am your proctor for the next exam! Anko Mitarashi!"

Every guy in the room almost passed out as a woman with purple-hair and a body to die for came flying through the window in a mesh body-suit with a mini-skirt, she had on a tan trench-coat and a smirk on her face, "Damn it Ibiki you must be slipping there are still 27 teams here."

Ibiki regained his composure, "Damn it Anko, you're early again, and maybe there are just some exceptional recruits this time around."

Anko scoffed, "Yeah whatever, I'll handle them, by the end of the next exam their numbers will be cut in at least half."

Naruto cleared his mind of his manly thoughts, "This is getting ridiculous now! First there was pervert Kakashi, then brick wall Mikhail, then there was 'I like mentally breaking kids' Ibiki. Now there's this lady, isn't there a normal jounin that doesn't suffer from some kind of mental deficiencies around here!" Anko threw a kunai at Naruto who ducked, "That didn't really help me change my mind you know?"

She ignored him, "Alright you brats, follow me to training ground #44 for the second part of the exam!"

As the genin filed out of the building, Naruto walked up to his team, "One. Big. Freakshow…"

XxX

Anko and the massive group of genin arrived at a monstrous gated in forest, "Welcome to training ground #44, better known as the Forest of Death."

As all of the genin looked at the site of their second exam Naruto walked up to Jushiro, "Big Boss, isn't this the forest you threw me into 3 years ago and left me in for three days?"

Jushiro looked at Naruto, "Yeah, guess it is huh?"

Naruto took a swing at him as Jushiro dodged, "You fucking knocked me out and left me in a place called the Forest of Death!"

Ignoring the looks of all of the amassed genin he smirked, "Yeah I guess I did huh? Calm down, you lived didn't you?"

Naruto took another swing at him, "I was fucking 8 years old!"

"Eiko-shield!" Jushiro dodged and hid behind Eiko, "Well at least you know the terrain right, you should be thanking me."

Naruto was broken from his charge by a kunai passing by his face, cutting his cheek, "You know, loud kids like you usually leave their blood all over this forest." Anko hovered behind him holding a kunai and licked his cut,

"Well then I guess it wouldn't be the first time would it? And as you can taste, my blood must be good, so the forest will like it." Naruto dead-panned to her, "Now let go of me before I switch your stomach with your colon."

Naruto's hands were glowing for a transmutation down by Anko's belly. Anko's attention was diverted by an androgenous Kusa ninja from behind. Anko held the kunai in her hand to the ninja's long tongue, "You shouldn't sneak up on me, it's a good way to get yourself killed…"

The ninja spoke, "Sorry, your kunai cut some of my hair and I just got a little over excited, here's your knife."

Naruto was getting uncomfortable, "Will both of you get off of me before I do something that'll get me thrown in prison?" As everyone settled back to their previous positions Naruto gave a dead-pan look once more to Team 7, "Big. Ass. Freakshow…"

Anko began explaining the rules, "You will be given a scroll and sent off into the forest for 5 days."

Chouji barked out in shock, "5 days! What will we do for food?"

Anko sighed, "You were told by your jounin to pack as if you would be going on a mission. If you do run out of supplies there are plenty of edible things in the forest."

Naruto cut in, "I fucking know!" He shot a glare at Jushiro who remained behind Eiko with a sheepish grin.

Anko continued her explanation, "You will be given either a Heaven or Earth Scroll and must obtain one of each before heading towards the tower in the forest."

Sasuke spoke lowly, "So we'll have to fight a team to get their scroll somehow."

Another genin shouted a question, "Are we allowed to kill?"

Anko smirked, "Yes, if it comes to it you are allowed to kill your opponents, I'll have to hand out waivers releasing Konohagakure from responsibility if you brats can't hack it."

Naruto looked at his right arm, 'This could be it…'

Anko continued, "You must arrive at the tower in 5 days with both scrolls and all of your team in one piece to pass, if you are killed your team automatically fails." The waivers began making their way through the genin ranks, "I have one piece of advice for all of you… Don't die!"

Jushiro walked over to Naruto, "Hey Naruto do you still have your communicator on you?"

Naruto reached into his vest pocket and pulled it out, "Yeah Big Boss right here."

Jushiro pulled out his own, "Listen up, there might be some real serious nutjobs in here, if you find yourself in some trouble that you aren't sure you can handle then just contact me and I'll find you."

Naruto nodded, "You too Big Boss, tell Blank and Eiko-chan I said good luck." Jushiro nodded and returned to his team.

Sakura came up to Naruto, "What was that all about?"

He looked into the forest, "Just wishing each other luck."

Anko yelled out, "Team 7, you're at gate 13." As the group made its way to their gate they passed through a hut and were handed their scroll. The team waited in silence for their gate to open; as Naruto looked at his team he saw Sasuke almost fidgeting to get in there, turning his vision to Sakura he frowned as he saw how wound up she was. Before he could speak the gate opened and the trio ran through the woods.

The trio jumped along the branches for an hour before they decided to stop to talk. Sasuke looked at his teammates before speaking, "Naruto, you said you've been in here before?"

Naruto shivered and nodded, "Yes, Big Boss tossed me in here one night 3 years ago… asshole."

Sakura noticed his shiver, "Naruto what's in here, I thought you didn't fear any mortal thing?"

Naruto looked at her, "I didn't back then, I only started living that after I got out of here and fought the stuff I found in here… so retarded."

Sasuke tapped him, "What exactly is in here anyway?"

Naruto scrunched his face in deep thought, "Giant bugs ranging from big-ass spiders and monster centipedes to huge leeches."

Sakura felt her skin crawl, "The flora isn't much better, I ate tons of poison shit on my first day in here, I was sick all day and still starving, the next day I had to go out to look for a big-ass centipede to kill just to eat, those things are hard to bring down!"

Sakura's stomach turned at the thought of eating a bug, "Naruto that's gross. How could you do that?"

He shrugged, "Because it was that or starve for who knows how long, but there are other animals too. Yeah there are little squirrels and rabbits, but my attention was mostly on the wolves and tigers and bears and big-ass snakes."

Sasuke was not pleased, "So in addition to the teams of genin on our tails we have to fight the whole damn forest too?"

Naruto nodded, "And if you're looking to use me as a guide I can't help you there, I was scared out of my gourd the entire time I was here, I didn't pay attention to anything."

Sasuke groaned, "Well I guess we should just keep moving, eventually we'll come across a team to fight, agreed?" Sakura nodded, Naruto couldn't think of anything useful so he agreed.

As the team kept moving nature called for Naruto, Um guys, I have to go to the bathroom."

Sasuke sighed, "Hurry up…"

Naruto turned and began messing with his button, Sakura punched him in the back of the head, "Naruto you baka, go over there!"

Naruto walked through some shrubs rubbing his head, "Fine, Kami woman, all over the back of my head…" Naruto walked through and began unzipping his pants, "You guys are bunch of fucking freaks, seriously who messes with a guy taking a piss?"

Three Amegakure ninja with breathing masks came from the trees, "You're all alone I wouldn't sound so brash if I were you. We don't even need our jutsu to beat you."

Naruto continued taking a leak, "Maybe, but then again, maybe not, you see you idiots don't realize one thing."

Naruto began shaking himself out as an Ame genin spoke, "And what exactly is that?"

Naruto zipped himself up, "I'm never alone…"

As Naruto said that a horde of kage bunshin jumped from the foliage in the trees and plowed the Ame genin into the ground headfirst. As his clones dispelled he turned around with a smile only to frown, "You've got to be kidding me, I shook myself off for like 20 seconds and I still got piss in my pants?" He sighed as he searched the boys and took their weapons and money, "Consider this compensation for my pee dribbled boxers." As he continued searching he smiled as he found an Earth Scroll.

Naruto came stumbling back through the bushes, "Damn this place is wildery."

Sasuke walked up to him, "What took so long dobe?"

Naruto pulled out the Earth Scroll, "I got jumped while I was taking a piss."

Sakura looked at the scroll, "Well that was easy."

Naruto pocketed the scroll, "Let's get out of here, I forgot how much this place sucks. Maybe if we show up early they have food, I haven't eaten all day."

Sasuke smirked, "Well if you're hungry you can always catch a centipede."

Naruto dead-panned, "Centipede doesn't taste that bad." The team leapt off and resumed running through the trees.

They rushed to the ground three hours after they obtained their Earth Scroll, "Damn where is this place, underground?"

Sakura put her hand to her chin, "It's probably at the center of the forest, did you see a tower in here Naruto?"

He sighed, "No Sakura-chan I didn't, I wouldn't be surprised if I was running in circles when I was here."

Sasuke stood up, "Alright let's go." As the rest stood to leave Naruto's ambush sense went off.

"Get down!" As his teammates ducked Naruto clapped and touched the ground to form a wall just as a powerful gust of wind hit the elevated earth.

"My, my, that was very impressive…" Naruto forced the rock back into the ground as he saw the Kusa ninja from earlier walking up. "Hmm… That's strange."

Naruto got into his muay thai stance, "What's strange?"

The ninja smirked, "You don't seem to be trembling in fear like your friends."

Naruto turned to see Sasuke and Sakura on the ground wide-eyed. "What did you do to them?"

The ninja laughed, "This!" At that Naruto saw visions of the ninja brutally killing him, he almost felt his own death rattle.

Naruto was left breathless for a second before regaining his composure, "Wow, I can see why they're out of it."

The ninja grinned wider, "Interesting indeed! How was it that it didn't affect you?"

Naruto smirked, "After almost dying for real, nothing short of the real thing will suffice. A sudden death feeling won't hurt me, and after my brother got through with me I can take any mental torture, you crazy asshole."

"Well come then, the Uchiha won't be going anywhere and if you want to save your friends then you have to destroy me."

Naruto's smirk deepened as he reached into his vest and sent out the distress signal, "You say that like I wouldn't kill you."

XxX

Team Jushiro were sitting and resting following obtaining their scroll, Jushiro was tossing the scroll in his hands, "Man those guys were total pussies!"

Blank nodded, "I'm kind of upset, we didn't get to fight, I haven't had a good scrap in a while."

Eiko was searching the woods for anything hostile, "Shouldn't we get going? The longer we stay out here the more chance of getting injured we have."

Jushiro wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "Eiko… We won't get hurt, remember the only reason we didn't all get promoted last time was because we all got screwed over, these kids can't touch us."

Eiko smiled and bounded over to Blank, "Maybe this time we won't have to fight in the finals huh?"

Blank closed his eyes, "Yeah, that sucked, no one else had to fight their teammate in the opening round."

Blank looked over to Jushiro, "But we can't really complain though, Jushiro won the whole thing and he still didn't get promoted."

Jushiro smiled sadly, "It's okay, I know I'm good; the old man even said that I got screwed over when he took me to his office after the tournament. I'll just stomp ass even harder this time!"

Eiko smiled at him, "I want to see you fight Naruto for real, maybe you'll face off in the finals."

Jushiro chuckled, "No, you don't want to see that. You think you've seen us fight full-scale but we've never fought for real, not even against Raiga, we've never fought a fight we thought we could lose so we haven't ever fought for real."

The grin left his face as he felt his communicator vibrate, "Hey you guys, I still want to explore a bit, why don't you head somewhere close to the tower and I'll find you when I'm done."

Eiko and Blank looked at each other, "Okay Jushiro-kun, don't take too long."

As his teammates jumped off towards the tower Jushiro turned his tracker on, "Damn it brat you'd better still be in one piece!"

XxX

"Damn it Sasuke snap out of it! You're fine!" Naruto was busy trying to snap his team out of the Kusa-nin's genjutsu while dodging a giant snake. "Where in the hell did this fucking thing come from?" Naruto dodged another snap of the serpent's jaws. Luring the snake to a tree he dodged it, forcing it to crash into the tree trunk, after his dodge he sprung back in and cracked the snake in the side of the head with a punch.

The serpent hissed in anger as it raged at Naruto once again, "My snake seems to be enjoying the chase you are giving it Naruto-kun."

Naruto took to running up a tree, snake hot on his heels, "Shut up! Don't call me Naruto-kun I'm gonna kill you here!" Thinking he was high enough he leapt directly back and waited for the snake to pass, as it did he grabbed it by its top jaw and fell back down to the ground; rolling through the fall, Naruto placed the snake in a position to break his fall and allowed it to crash head-first to the ground. The snake hissed and writhed for a moment before ceasing to move.

Naruto walked over to Sasuke and Sakura and slapped them across their faces, "Get your shit together! I need your help!" S

asuke's eyes regained their color first, "Dobe what did you hit us for?"

Sakura held her cheek as Naruto explained, "This asshole is out for blood, get up and help me fight! It's this freak or us, no fear, remember, no fear!"

Naruto turned to see the ninja walk back into view, "Ah Naruto-kun well done, not only did you defeat my pet, you also got your team back into fighting condition, too bad it won't matter in the end."

Naruto turned back to Sasuke, "Hey Sasuke, this dirtbag is calling you out, if you have anything you'd like to show the class now is the time."

Sasuke looked down and spoke, "Let's show the power of Team 7!"

As he looked back up he saw Sasuke's red eyes, "I never thought I'd be so happy Kakashi's been blowing me off lately to train you. You finally have your Sharingan!"

Sasuke smirked, "If this guy/girl wants a fight let's not disappoint eh Naruto?"

Naruto smirked, "I like the sound of that."

The two boys ran at the ninja in a straight line, as they got close Sasuke cut to the right to allow Naruto to fly forward with a flying roundhouse kick. As the ninja ducked Sasuke threw a sweep that tripped the ninja up. Naruto tried to land in a double stomp but the ninja dodged, Sasuke once again ran forward and began engaging the ninja in a taijutsu duel. Sasuke found the ninja's movements to be jerky and almost unpredictable, he was certain that without the Sharingan's predictability capabilities he would be overwhelmed by now. As he heard a clap he knowingly dodged as Naruto forced a jagged mass of ground up to attack. The ninja pulled a Kawarimi before contact, "Damn it!" Naruto and Sasuke came back together back to back.

"Where is Sakura?" Sasuke asked as Naruto jerked his head to show her, back to a tree, kunai out, scanning the forest just as the boys were. "Should we call her over here?"

Naruto shook his head, "I think we should move towards her, if she comes to us she could get attacked, at least if it's us we know we can fight." Sasuke nodded as they ran towards the girl. "Sakura-chan are you okay."

She smiled and nodded as the boys stopped in front of her, "Yes I'm fine, and thanks for snapping me out of that genjutsu Naruto. Where is that snake freak?"

The boys scanned the entire forest, "Why the hell does everything I do have to be so complicated? I can't get a normal C-ranked mission, I have to end up saving a country. I can't take a regular exam and fight some regular genin, I have to fight a freak of nature that calls big ass snakes, how fun."

"I think so too kids…" The strange ninja again came in sight, this time from the ground, "I find you two to be quite skilled, however Naruto-kun, I'm here for Sasuke-kun, you can move aside."

Naruto shifted in his stance, "What do you want with my teme of a teammate?"

The ninja licked the edge of the kunai they were holding, "His Uchiha blood is perfect for what I want, but if you aren't willing to step aside willingly…" In a massive puff of smoke the ninja appeared atop another giant snake, "I guess my pet will have a feast on children tonight."

Sasuke looked at the snake and at his team, "Sakura, stay with Naruto, he'll keep you safe, this guy wants Uchiha blood, we'll see how much he can take."

Sakura looked concerned, "But Sasuke-kun, Naruto can help you fight him, just go and take him into the fight!"

Naruto gritted his teeth, "Sakura-chan when Sasuke leaves to take this jerk on that snake is going to lunge at us, we trust you in a fight… against a human, against a giant snake I think only one of us could bring it down, we're not leaving you alone over this guy, we can kill the snake and then join Sasuke."

She nodded reluctantly and gulped, "Please be careful Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke nodded, Naruto clapped his shoulder, "Don't worry about ours or his/her scroll, this is a deathmatch, no surrender will suffice."

"Got it."

As Sasuke leapt to one side Naruto picked up Sakura and began dodging the snake, "Sorry Sakura-chan, but I'm way faster than you and I'm not gonna risk you getting bitten just so it won't get me." Sakura blushed slightly as Naruto dodged one more time and set her down on a branch. He cracked his neck as he looked at the snake coil around the tree, hissing at them, "Sakura-chan, take all of your explosive tags and wrap them around your kunai, we're gonna need some firepower." She nodded and did as she was told. Naruto started shaking his shoulders out, "Only throw them at its head and only if you have a good opening, don't worry if I'm in the way, I'll be fine."

When her task was complete she spoke, "I'm ready Naruto, I have 10 shots."

Naruto sighed and looked back, "This is gonna suck Sakura-chan… please don't miss, I'm counting on you." With that he jumped from the branch and delivered a hard double-stomp to the snake's head bouncing off to the ground, looking back he realized he now had the snake's full and undivided attention, sighing as he contemplated and rejected unwrapping his hand he cursed out loud, "I'm too old for this shit!"

In truth Sasuke might have been thinking the same thing if he had a chance to be cynical, however the weird Kusa-nin was wearing Sasuke's ass out. Sasuke had to admit, hiding the fact he had activated his Sharingan was a great idea, the use in the first exam without anyone's knowledge was invaluable, however now, said Sharingan was the reason this person was here putting boot to ass so to speak. "Come on Sasuke-kun, the last Uchiha must have more to him to this."

As that statement was finished he kicked Sasuke 15 meters into a tree. As he made contact he coughed up blood, 'Damn it, I'm getting my ass kicked. What the hell do I do now?'

The ninja ran towards Sasuke as he jumped to dodge another kick, going through a familiar set of hand signs, "Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu(Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)!" shooting a large fireball at the ninja he looked to see any trace showing had made contact, there was none. As he landed he saw a figure running at him from the flames and the onslaught was back on.

Naruto and Sakura were having better luck… well Sakura was, in between the pink-haired girl launching salvos Naruto was whipped around the battlefield like a rag-doll by the huge snake, 'I guess the first snake gave a little warning to his buddies before I killed him.' As the snake coiled itself around Naruto he heard a dull thud as the snake hissed in pain, a sizzling sound warned Naruto to cover his head as an explosion sent pieces of snake everywhere. Naruto looked up to see Sakura smiling down, "Damn Sakura-chan I said don't worry if I'm in the way but I didn't necessarily want snake brain on myself either."

She pulled her eye-lid and shrugged, "It worked didn't it? Now come on, let's go help Sasuke-kun!"

As he followed her he had to think, 'Is it me or is she actually learning how to fight a little bit?'

Sasuke was almost out of steam, he had been getting thrashed since launching his fireball, nothing had gone his way for the entire fight and he was on his last legs. He had one move left but no time to set it up, 'What would Naruto do?' His answer came quickly, 'He'd just fucking go for it.' Sasuke leapt far enough away to whip out his weaponry, three kunai in his mouth and two fuuma shuriken in his hands,

"Oh? What on Earth could you possibly be thinking of doing with those Sasuke-kun?" He smirked as he threw them at his adversary, the enemy moved like a snake through his barrage, "That's it Sasuke-kun? Too bad."

Sasuke's smirk became a grin as the ninja realized that the weapons had been connected to wires that constricted and pulled him into a boulder as Sasuke held the strings in his mouth, "It's over you freak… Katon: Ryuka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Dragon Flame Jutsu)!" As the strings engulfed in flames the ninja screamed in anguish as the fire traveled along the rope, burning the ninja alive.

Sasuke sat down against the tree, "Kami that thing just wouldn't drop… That was my last shot, if that couldn't work I'd be done."

Sighing he shut his eyes, "Well that's good to know Sasuke-kun," Sasuke's eyes opened in shock, "I must say I'm impressed…"

Sasuke tried standing but couldn't make it to his feet, "You… no way… that should have killed you!"

The ninja chuckled as they walked into view, Sasuke saw their face had been partially melted off revealing pale white skin underneath, as he reached up to pull the rest off he spoke, "I now know that I made the right choice in selecting you for my 'gift,' I do hope you enjoy it." As he finished his neck stretched out and he bit down on Sasuke's neck. Sasuke couldn't even yell out in pain as the man retracted his neck.

"Sasuke-kun you will seek out for power, soon."

As he spoke a spear of wood almost drilled him as he had to jump back to dodge, "Hey Snake-teme… He won't have to seek you out… If it comes to that I'll let him keep your ashes after I'm through with you."

The man laughed as he looked up at Naruto who had thrown the spear, "Boy do you not have any idea who I am?"

Naruto transmutated another spear from the tree he was in, "Nope, don't care, 'cause you're dead." As he threw the second spear the man ran up the tree rapidly, before he made it too far Naruto caused an alchemic reaction in the tree, forcing it out to stab him.

As the man flipped off the tree Naruto began hearing Sasuke scream in pain, he looked down to see Sakura kneeling over him with tears in her eyes, "Naruto, he's in agony, Sasuke-kun… Something's killing him!"

Naruto glared at the man, "Who are you? What the hell did you do to Sasuke!"

The man cackled, "I am Orochimaru, and as for what I did to Sasuke-kun, you could just say I marked him."

Naruto had squeezed the spear in his hand until it broke in his grip, rage began filling his mind as he thought of the man actually killing Sasuke. "You are a dead man…"

Orochimaru smirked as he saw an aura form around Naruto, "Ah, the Yondaime's legacy. You seem to be revealing yourself to be more and more interesting by the moment Naruto-kun."

A maniacal grin appeared on Naruto's face, "Let me show you just how 'interesting' I am…" As his nails grew to claws and his canines grew Naruto felt close to the way he did in the Land of Waves, only this time he wasn't fighting for control, 'Thank you Kyuubi.'

Naruto leapt from his branch intent on tearing the Orochimaru limb from limb, Naruto hadn't registered that he hadn't tried to dodge. As Naruto collided with his foe he noticed his body melt away into mud. As he looked around he could no longer sense a foreign presence, "COME BACK AND FIGHT YOU GODDAMN COWARD!" As he screamed to the sky he thought he heard a faint cackle.

As he turned to Sakura he sensed a familiar presence, Jushiro landed right by her and Sasuke and overlooked the scene. "What in the world went on here?"

Naruto kneeled down to Sakura, "How is he?"

She turned puffy eyes to the two brothers, "He passed out, he has a strange mark on his neck, it's glowing and throbbing."

As the boys looked Jushiro began questioning, "You guys, what went on here?"

Naruto shook his head, "We can go over that later Big Boss, we have to get to the tower before our situation goes even more to hell than it already has, we have our scrolls already what about you?" J

ushiro nodded, "Yeah, we beat some Konoha team full of weirdoes; one guy had white hair like me and glasses, one guy stretched, and the other tried to suck our chakra, they were wimps though, Blank and Eiko are waiting for me, let's roll."

Naruto put a hand on Sakura's shoulder before he grabbed Sasuke and the group began following Jushiro to the tower.

XxX Omake XxX

3 years ago

"Big Boss…"

"What runt?"

Naruto pulled on his big brother's sleeve as he begged him, "Can I skip school today?"

Jushiro had just grabbed his headband as he stopped and stared at Naruto who had pleading eyes, "Why in the name of sweet Kami would I let you do that?"

Naruto dropped to his knees, "Please Big Boss? I really don't want to go!"

Jushiro tied his headband on, "No can do little guy, I just let you skip 2 days in a row, if I keep letting you do this crap then Iruka will hunt my ass down and throw me in detention."

Naruto gave him a disbelieving look, "Big Boss that's bull, you graduated, you don't go to the academy anymore."

Jushiro gave him a scared look, "I know right? It's fucked up isn't it?"

Naruto grabbed on to Jushiro's legs, "PLEASE BIG BOSS! SCHOOL IS SO BORING!"

Jushiro grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and gave him a dirty look, "Why are you so dead-set on not going to school? You in trouble or something?"

Naruto tried to free himself, "No, we never do ANYTHING! We spend all damn day inside, my lunches suck, Iruka drones on and on for hours on 'the proper technique to lay an explosive tag,' we only ever go outside once a week or month to throw shuriken or spar, and I haven't sparred with anyone in like a year."

Jushiro gave him a smirk, "So you're just bored huh?" Naruto nodded, Jushiro dropped him to the floor, "Okay then, just go to school today and I'll do something about that tomorrow." He dragged Naruto out the door and took him to school.

XxX

Naruto woke up colder than he usually did, he still had his comforter, but he felt like his bed was rough and stiff. He heard birds chirping as he usually did upon awakening but they sounded clearer and echoed more. As he opened his eyes he was not greeted by his mortal enemy the sun, he saw trees, lots and lots of trees. "Where in the blue hell am I?" As he stood to look at his surroundings he looked down and got vertigo, "HOLY SHIT!" Naruto looked down to find himself on the largest branch of the biggest tree he had ever seen. "WHERE THE FUCK AM I!"

As he ceased his shouting he felt a note stuck to his chest, "What the fuck?"

_Dear brat,_

_If you're reading this then I am certain that you are fully aware of your new surroundings, roomy huh? Well you know how you were bitching about the academy boring you to tears, I decided to fix that problem for you. Welcome to training ground #44, it has a less formal name… but it escapes me at the moment, enjoy. I'll be back to get you in a few days so don't worry, this place has water sources, shelter, and sources of food, you just have to look!_

_Oh! And don't you worry about being counted absent for school, I told Iruka that I'd be taking you on an informal training session, so you won't be around for a few days, you're welcome! I'll see you soon, hopefully in one piece._

"Hey Big Boss! What the fuck am I supposed to eat?" As he said this he looked down to see a spider twice his size pounce from one branch to another and land on a centipede of the same size. Naruto watched in horror as the spider's fangs pierced the centipede as he dragged it away.

"BIG FUCKING BOSS!"

**New chapter complete, I have a paper to write now so I may either slack on my updates or procrastinate on my paper, you can guess which if you'd like. I'm tired, it's late, and I am too out of it to try and be witty. My brain needs to recharge its awesome-ness before I stroke out and die, leaving this story incomplete before it gets kicking into high gear, that'd be a damn shame huh?**

**Kenchi out, Defeat the World!**


	13. Standard Procedure

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did then I might be able to afford groceries this week, I probably wouldn't need financial aid to pay to stay in college… FAFSA's a bitch… Stay in school kids!

**Chapter 13: Standard Procedure**

Blank and Eiko had been waiting for Jushiro to arrive for 4 hours, they had marked the trees with obscure symboling to tip him off to their location as he got closer, however the wait was still not exactly welcome, "Blank where the hell is Jushiro-kun? He left the group 4 hours ago, he wouldn't be in trouble would he?"

Blank shook his head and sat down, "No I don't think he got into a fight, if he had we'd be hearing the explosions from here probably, he said he was bored."

Eiko took a seat next to her teammate, "Maybe, but did you see his face before he left, that didn't look like the face of a person who was bored, it looked like he had a purpose before he jumped off."

Blank sighed, "Eiko stop being a mother hen, Jushiro never gets hurt too badly, especially by some punk-ass genin, I'm more worried about who he jumped off to fight than I am about him." Eiko sighed in exasperation, Blank tried changing the subject, "Hey, Naruto was awesome during the first exam wasn't he?"

Eiko's face lit up, "Oh yes, I thought my heart was gonna stop when he beat up that guy sitting next to him!"

Blank laughed, "I think if I hadn't held on to Jushiro after Naruto started talking about Haku he wouldn't have made it that far."

Eiko grinned, "Why did you hold on to him, maybe I finally would have seen them fight each other for real?"

Blank laughed at her, "Because no matter who won we would have been kicked out!"

As they laughed they sensed the presence of someone landing nearby, "Oh, I wouldn't have beat him too bad, just enough to get my point across." Blank and Eiko looked into the plants to see who it was.

"And what would your point have been? 'I like Haku-chan and I want you to know?' I already did Big Boss."

"I hate you…"

"I bask in your hate."

As the figures came stumbling through the brush Eiko and Blank relaxed considerably. Jushiro, followed close behind by Sakura and then Naruto with Sasuke under his arm unconscious.

Eiko stood and pouted, "Jushiro-kun why do you have them here? Don't tell me you gave them our scroll or something?" Blank jumped up cracking his knuckles glaring daggers at Jushiro.

Jushiro jumped behind Sakura for cover, "No, No! Pink-haired girl shield! They have their own set of scrolls, the brat and his team just needed some help getting here! His teammate got wounded in an ambush and the other two had fought him off by the time I got there, I just decided to take them with me."

Naruto shook his head, "Really chivalrous Big Boss, I'm really sure Sakura-chan appreciates being used as a shield from your team."

Sakura grabbed Jushiro from behind her and threw him forward, "Don't use me to avoid getting beat up jerk!"

As Jushiro landed in front of his team's feet he groaned, "Damn Naruto, you have a violent teammate."

Naruto mumbled under his breath, "Tell me about it…" Sakura whipped around, "I mean we need to get Sasuke to the tower, ha ha ha!"

Sakura's anger died right there as she turned back to the older genin, "Can you guys take us to the tower?" Team Jushiro nodded and jumped back off into the woods with Team 7 in tow.

XxX

The teams made it inside the tower and opened their scrolls, Team Jushiro and Team 7 were greeted by Iruka and Mikhail, "Well hey guys, glad to s-… What the hell happened to him?"

Naruto jerked Sasuke from under his arm and held him out by the collar, "Sasuke got bitten on the neck by some snake guy with a pasty-face."

The two elder ninja paled at that description. As Mikhail picked him up and took him off Iruka kept talking to the kids, "We're taking Sasuke to the infirmary to get checked out. You guys got here fast… only two other teams got here so quickly, it only took you a day."

Naruto looked around in confusion, "Are we done? What do we do now, can we go home?"

Iruka shook his head, "No Naruto, you have to wait here for the rest of the students to make it here."

Naruto snapped, "I have to wait here for four more days? What the hell am I going to do for four days?"

Jushiro ruffled Naruto's hair, "Don't worry runt, they have lodging and a mess hall so you can stay here for extended periods of time."

Naruto calmed down, "Fine, I need to shower then, I swear to Kami those snake guts are starting to harden over on my body, thanks for that Sakura." Sakura gave him a mock smile.

As the kids began moving towards the floor with the rooms Jushiro saw a very familiar face, "Haku-chan!" Haku turned and smiled as they all came up to her, "What are you doing all the way out here?"

Naruto cut in, "She's a proctor dumb-ass, didn't you see her when we took the first exam?"

Haku smiled at the two, "It's good to see you both, I've never been in the Forest of Death but everyone kept saying it was pretty nasty, I'm glad you're both okay."

Naruto glared at Jushiro, "Well Haku-chan compared to the first time this was a breeze, I mean at least this time I came ARMED!"

Jushiro hid behind Haku, "Damn it Naruto I've been saying my bad for three years, when will you just let it die?"

Naruto palmed his face, "I'll let it die when I get you back."

Jushiro noticed who he was hiding behind and turned a glare of his own to Naruto, "Get me back? What I made you do was fucking manly, how many of your damn classmates can say that they got tossed into the Forest of Death with nothing and lived for three days… that's gnarly! You on the other hand, blocked my manly flow, and I will NEVER let that go, you will never make that up to me until I make you feel my pain."

Haku blushed at the memory being mentioned, "So… these are the rooms you'll have to your disposal until the second exam ends, take your pick."

Jushiro whispered in Haku's ear, "Where's your room Haku-chan?"

Haku hissed at him in response, "Later Jushiro-kun."

Naruto's ears picked up the whispers, "Yeah Big Boss, later, Haku-chan doesn't want you right now, you're all sweaty. Besides you just spent the last 20 hours running through the woods, you probably don't have the energy for her right now anyway." The last sentence was said as Naruto ran for dear life with a smile on his face as Jushiro sprinted after him hot on his heels, "I'm just being honest Big Boss! Haku-chan doesn't want to fuck you right now!"

Jushiro snorted like a bull as the two brothers tore through the tower, "DIE, DIE, A MILLION TIMES, DIE!"

Whipping around the corner his smile died on his face as he saw the team he had run into the day before the exams began, "You guys got here quick huh?"

Their response was cut off by a certain white-haired alchemist, "Come here you little shit!" Jushiro grabbed Naruto and placed him in a full-nelson, "You're dead kid, you just don't know it yet! I swear on all that is holy I will make you pay for this!"

Naruto had tears in his eyes, "No, Kami why!"

Jushiro added pressure as he lifted him off the ground and started whipping his legs in a circle, "No don't ask Kami! I talk to Kami all the time, and she's the one who told me to come torture your ass!" Amid Naruto's yelling of vulgar protests Jushiro noticed their present company, "Hey, you guys are from Suna aren't you." Dropping Naruto and taking a better look he smirked, "You're probably the guy that the runt socked in the face the other day."

Kankuro's face turned sour as Temari blushed at the brash brothers and stepped forward, "Yes, I'm Temari and this is Kankuro, I actually am sorry about that."

Naruto jerked his eyebrow up as he sat on the ground, "It's okay, I just hate bullies."

Temari looked at the two, they seemed awfully close, "What are your names exactly?"

Naruto looked stunned, "You don't remember my name? I yelled it at you twice in two days already and then did something awesome to trigger memory response."

She thought for a second, "Oh yeah your name is Naruto right?"

He grinned and jumped to his feet, "You see Big Boss I can get girls, just not girls from around here."

Temari blushed and Kankuro seethed as Jushiro spoke, "No kid she wasn't looking at you, she can't dig you, you beat up her brother."

This didn't help Kankuro's temper, "Both of you shut up! He got me with a lucky punch!"

Naruto and Jushiro burst out in laughter, "Oh man that was good… lucky punch… there's no such thing as a lucky punch to a ninja. We don't fight fair, if you fought Naruto then 10 times out of 10 he'd beat you in five minutes, 9 out of those 10 times he probably wouldn't hit you head on, and besides, he was right in front of you, you actually hit him first and he didn't flinch, glass jaw."

Kankuro seethed in rage, but being as how the brothers jovially took to the idea of a fight and the fact that the younger one had destroyed him in 2 seconds he didn't feel like pushing his luck, Jushiro stopped laughing, "By the way my name is Jushiro Moyomoto for those that care. Now come on runt I'm hungry." He grabbed Naruto and dragged him back around the corner.

Kankuro walked next to Temari sneering, "I'm gonna kill that stupid blonde brat, one way or another."

Temari shook her head, "I don't think so, if you somehow did then his brother would kill you himself."

XxX

"Damn Big Boss I do have legs you know."

Jushiro dragged Naruto to a table and plopped him in a seat, "Shut up, I still need to beat your ass, be grateful I didn't drag you out in public and do it." Jushiro went off towards the pantry to see what was there, Naruto just decided to sit and wait to see what he came back with.

Looking around he felt on edge slightly, no one was in the room except for those two. As he got up and moved to the door he opened it and saw someone familiar. "Hinata, hey!"

Hinata turned to see Naruto standing in the doorway of the mess hall, "N-Naruto-kun, h-hello."

Naruto frowned, "Please, no need to be so nervous, so when did you get here?"

Hinata poked her fingers together, "A-a few hours ago."

Naruto lit up, "That's much better, it's easier to talk like that right? And very good, that's awesome, we just got here too." Hinata began feeling more comfortable around Naruto until she let out a yawn. "Well I guess I should let you get some rest, it is pretty late, you must be tired." She tried to argue but another yawn betrayed her argument, "There you see, I'll see you later." Hinata smiled at him and turned to continue down the hall.

As Naruto turned he saw Jushiro with their food sitting at the table watching with a smirk, "Hinata huh? It's funny, isn't that the girl you were with a few months ago?"

Naruto hesitantly walked back to the table, "Big Boss, please, no, don't start."

Jushiro shook his head, "Oh no runt you're not so lucky, after I'm through you're _going to_ wish I ripped into your ass here and now, this has been months in the making."

Naruto sat down, "Big Boss, do what you will to me, but leave Hinata out of it, she's innocent."

Jushiro rubbed his hands together, "Innocent? Haku-chan was innocent too, it didn't stop you from screwing me over did it? No, no as far as I'm concerned all bets are off, otouto you just started a war you cannot win."

Naruto stepped up to get in Jushiro's face, "Nobody beats me in the end aniki, and let me tell you something that might curb your enthusiasm to humiliate me and a close friend of mine, I was playing nice before, don't start something you can't finish."

Naruto and Jushiro stared at one another in silence and ate the rice Jushiro had found, both thinking the same thing, 'Should I wait? Or should I launch a pre-emptive strike…'

XxX

Naruto had taken to sitting on the roof of the tower, staring out at the forest, as he heard a very faint shout he snickered, "Another sucker got nailed." Naruto had been on the tower for hours, after leaving Jushiro and going their separate ways he had taken to the roof as a peaceful area for something long overdue. He looked up and estimated it to be around two in the morning, 'I'm gonna be up here all night.' Naruto had been trying to get in contact with Kyuubi since he had used her chakra in the fight with Orochimaru, he figured she must have finally found a way to get to some of his requests. 'How the hell am I going to get back to my mind.' He sighed as he knew what he had to do, 'This is gonna suck…'

Naruto clapped and drew a chunk of roof from the tower, he closed his eyes as he began thinking of Kyuubi's chakra, as he did this he threw the chunk high into the air and waited for the impact.

THUNK

XxX

"Ugh, Damn that was stupid, Naruto regained his senses in the middle of a feudal palace, "What in the hell?" As he rose to his feet he began to look around the room. There were many lavish, expensive things around which Naruto couldn't comprehend the origin of. "Man, this is weird." Searching around the mansion he finally felt a familiar aura, "Kyuubi!"

His shout got the desired response, "**Naruto in here**." He turned left to enter a large lounging area, he found Kyuubi sitting in a lounge chair watching a TV, "**Hello Naruto-kun.**"

He cocked his brow, "Naruto-_kun_?"

Kyuubi shrugged as she looked at him, "**What, it's not like I don't know you**."

Naruto moved towards another chair and sat, "Well you hated me until I tormented you for 2 hours, then you got all cuddly."

Kyuubi frowned, "**I didn't hate you, I was stuck inside of you with no contact for 11 years, you try staying civil.**" Naruto conceded to that,

"So what in the hell are you watching?"

Kyuubi perked up, "**You!**"

Naruto looked at the TV, "Me? I'm a show?"

Kyuubi giggled, "**No Naruto-kun, I'm watching your memories, a lot of these suck honestly, you were treated like shit.**"

Naruto frowned, "Gee, thanks Kyuubi… just making me feel better about being me." Kyuubi got up and walked over to Naruto and sat on his lap, "Uhm… kind of familiar here huh Kyuubi."

Kyuubi purred in his lap, "**Aww… Poor Naruto-kun doesn't know what to do?**"

Naruto felt frozen on the spot, "Honestly I could answer that with actions, but I'm pretty sure whatever I did would end with you going down for statutory."

Kyuubi got up, "**Aww… Well if you didn't come to play what did you come for?**"

Naruto shot her a look, "Play?" He smirked, 'Fuck Big Boss, I knew I could get girls that aren't from Konoha!' "Maybe later Kyuubi-chan, right now however I have to ask you some stuff."

Kyuubi sat back in her chair, "**I assumed you'd come eventually after you fought Orochimaru.**"

Naruto looked around, "So you know why I'm here."

Kyuubi looked at her nails, "**Yes, though I should say it took you longer to get here then I thought it would after our first run in.**"

Naruto grinded his teeth, "I told you I can't meditate, I had to knock myself out to get back here."

Kyuubi grinned, "**Well as fun as it sounds to make you do that every time it could be inconvenient, lucky for you I fixed a few of your requests for you.**"

Naruto got excited, "Which ones did you fix?"

Kyuubi stood up and motioned for Naruto to do the same, "**Alright, this one will help you communicate with me easily, you will be able to hear me in your head, you can also communicate back by focusing your thoughts to me, so I can't hear all of your dirty little thoughts okay?**"

Naruto nodded, "Yes got it, and not that I really hate it, but you are getting way too familiar with me."

Kyuubi shrugged, "**Kit you are the first male I've seen in 11 years, and you are way stronger than even you know. A few more years and I don't know what I could end up doing.**"

Naruto, as a red-blooded male had only one thought right now, "That's fucking awesome." Kyuubi giggled, as Naruto snapped his train of thought, "Alright kick that thought aside for now, what else can I do now?"

Kyuubi put her hand on his shoulder, "**Alright Naruto-kun, this one you may find very useful, I have painstakingly given you the ability to fly.**" Naruto freaked out.

"Really!"

"**Yes.**"

"Seriously!"

"**No.**"

Naruto frowned at her, "Don't do that, I almost freaked the fuck out just now."

Kyuubi chuckled, "**Sorry, I just had to see the look on your face… But really, you can also use my chakra now, you'll still be kind of feral if you take too much, but I wouldn't rely on it either.**"

Naruto shrugged, "Wasn't really planning on overusing it. But can I come back whenever I want now?"

Kyuubi gave him a lustful look, **"Oh Naru-kun you can come back whenever you want… Just whistle for me, and I'll pull you right in."** Naruto's nose bled as he blacked out.

XxX

Naruto woke with a start on the roof of the tower to find it was still night. As he took a sniff he realized he actually was bleeding, 'Wow, that was awesome' Naruto wiped his nose. As he stood he felt another presence on the roof with him.

As he whipped around he saw Gaara's blank stare 10 feet away, "Uzumaki… I am pleased to see you made it this far… Now I can kill you."

Naruto just stared back, "You are a very disturbed little boy you know that? And like I said a few days ago, I hear that a lot."

Gaara kept his blank stare, Naruto shifted and began to walk to the edge of the tower, "Why do you want to kill me anyway? Is it because I laid the smack down on your teammate? Or because Ime and my brother hit on the other?"

Gaara folded his arms, "No… I could care less about those fools, I will kill you to prove my existence."

Naruto turned to face him, "Well if you come at me like that then you won't have an existence left to prove, no one beats me."

Gaara put on a small smile, "Yes… Mother will enjoy your blood greatly… I can't wait Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto left the room, "Sure, whatever you say psycho."

As Naruto descended into the halls he thought, 'Hey Kyuubi-chan, what the hell is that kid's problem? I thought he was going to jump me right there on the roof.'

"**I don't know Naruto-kun, I feel something familiar in him, but I just can't put my finger on it."**

Naruto shrugged, "It doesn't matter, if we fight I'll kick his psychotic ass."

Kyuubi cheered in his head, "**Sure are confident huh?**"

Naruto smiled, "What am I supposed to say? 'I'm sure he'll kick my ass?' No, he can't beat me." Naruto walked down to the residential area of the tower and found the room labeled for Team 7.

As he walked into the room he saw Sakura asleep and no Sasuke in the room, 'Where is the teme?' Sighing he took off his vest and laid it in a chair as he rubbed his human arm, 'I need to tell Big Boss about that Gaara kid.' Leaving the room he walked down the hall until he found Team Jushiro's room.

Opening the door he found Blank asleep and Eiko reading, as she looked up she smiled, "Hello Naruto-kun, I hope you still feel okay."

Naruto jokingly flexed, "I'm a-ok Eiko-chan, I just really wanted to find Big Boss right now."

She thought for a moment, "I don't really know where he is, the last I saw of him was when he chased you off, I thought for a moment you two ran back into the forest, but then we heard you scream so I knew you were still here."

Naruto sighed, "Thanks anyway Eiko-chan, I'll see you tomorrow." She waved as he closed the door.

"Damn it Big Boss, where are you if you aren't here?" Naruto walked over to the area where the proctors and sensei were lodged and found Haku's room. Walking up he knocked on her door and heard fumbling around,

"One minute!" Naruto raised his eyebrow and stood still. Eventually he heard a lock click open and Haku in her nightgown appear from behind the door, "Good evening Naruto-kun, can I help you?"

Naruto nodded, "Yes you can Haku-chan, I was wondering if you had any idea where Big Boss is right now?"

Haku looked uncomfortable, "Why do you think I know where he is?"

Naruto dead-panned her a look, "Haku-chan, don't give me that bullcrap, you know damn well that you know exactly where he is."

Haku looked at him apologetically, "Sorry Naruto-kun I don't think I can help you."

Naruto sighed, "Okay Haku-chan, just give him a message for me, tell him to watch out for the red-haired kid from Suna, ok?"

Haku nodded, "Okay Naruto-kun, I'll tell him, good night."

Naruto smirked, "I'm sure it has been. Bye Haku-chan."

As she saw him walk back down the hall she let out a deep breath, "Okay Jushiro-kun he's gone."

A shirtless Jushiro dropped from the ceiling over the door, "I swear, even when that kid isn't trying to block he still does a damn good job at it."

Haku pulled him back over to the bed, "Well not this time… come here Jushiro-kun. He positioned himself over her and began kissing her when she stopped him, "Jushiro-kun what do you think he meant by that?"

Jushiro grunted, "Don't know, don't care, tongue, mouth, now."

As the two teens resumed their make-out session Jushiro's hands went lower and found their way under Haku's nightgown, as he grabbed her breasts he smirked in their kiss as he felt her shiver, "Didn't know you were so sensitive Haku-chan." As the two pulled away Haku smiled and began to help Jushiro take off her shirt.

"Ah how wonderful! Some youthful spirit has already taken the liberty of marking my room!" The teens froze as they heard a door open to reveal a man with a bowl cut, green spandex and a jounin vest. "Ahh what is going on here! What unyouthful practice are you two children up to!"

Haku immediately covered up as Jushiro stood in surprise, "What are we doing? What are you doing? Who the hell are you!"

The strange man gave a gleaming smile, "I am 'Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast of Battle,' Maito Gai! This room was marked as my own. You two children need not be corrupted by such unyouthful things!"

Jushiro fumed, "What! This was marked as Haku-chan's room!"

Gai waved his finger disapprovingly as he pulled a placard from the door, "No you see, this placard proves me right." Jushiro looked at the wide open door and found Haku's placard had been under the other, as Gai looked to see Haku's sign. "Oh, my apologies my comrades, this does seem to be your abode my dear." Haku nodded and blushed, "Well in that case I'll be on my way… But first I feel that I must give two shinobi as young as yourselves a youthful lesson in romantic relationships, I will teach you all about youthful love and romance!"

Haku slid deeper under her sheets as Jushiro's pure hatred blocked the man out, "You little bastard… This is truly unforgivable… Haku-chan may forgive you one day but I will not. Not until you suffer like this. You are screwed, so screwed. DO YOU HEAR ME BRAT! I WILL DESTROY YOU! I DECLARE WAR ON NARUTO UZUMAKI!"

Elsewhere in the tower a loud yelling declaration of war put a smile on the face of a certain blonde haired boy, "So. Totally. Worth it. Ha ha ha ha."

**Short chapter, I wanted a bridge between the tests. I have to write a 7 page paper on fucking "Supersize Me," damn it… Don't worry, I'll just bullshit my way through it, I'm good at that, next chapter will be the prelims. OOOOHHHHH Exciting!**

**Leave all thoughts comments, what may have you in comments, have a funderful evening my peeps.**


	14. First Round Jitters

Disclaimer: (Insert random generic disclaimer here)

**Chapter 14: First Round Jitters**

As the days carried on Naruto took note of exactly who was showing up in the tower. On the night he arrived he noticed the team that had met up with them before the first exam; the white-eyed boy, Neji Hyuuga, the girl with buns in her hair, Tenten, and the kid in green spandex, Rock Lee. Upon seeing their sensei he had a brilliant idea, after learning his name, Maito Gai, he went to Haku's room and marked it as Gai's, from the shouts of vengeance from upstairs that he heard later, it was quite obvious his prank had worked, he'd deal with the consequences later.

The next team he noticed was a team of sound ninja that he didn't know. There was a girl with long black hair put into a bow at the bottom, a kid with some kind of headgear on, and a guy that looked like a mummy, Naruto thought they looked weird, but he didn't care. The last team to show up on the final day were Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji. Upon seeing them he rushed to meet them.

"What's up you guys?" Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji turned to meet a grinning blonde, "You guys cut it close huh?"

Shikamaru wearily rubbed the back of his head, "Man that entire test was troublesome… We just got our scroll."

Ino sighed, "We stopped looking for weak teams and just waited near the tower, we got lucky to find someone that was already hurt to fight."

Chouji walked up with an uncomfortable look, "Naruto… is there a place to eat around here?" Naruto smiled and pointed in the direction of the mess hall, Chouji grinned and took off.

Ino looked at a well-rested Naruto, "Naruto when did you get here? You don't seem weakened at all."

Naruto walked with them to find a seat somewhere, "I got here on the first day." Upon seeing their faces he explained, "On the first day when I went off to take a leak a team tried to jump me, but I knew that would happen so I set some counter-measures and got them myself, it took 3 hours to get a scroll, after some situations we hooked up with Big Boss's team and we both came here and arrived by the next evening."

Team 10 looked shocked, Shikamaru spoke up, "So you've been here for four days?"

Naruto nodded, "Yep, only Team 8 and that team from Suna beat us here."

"I guess Sasuke-kun kept you and Forehead safe out there huh?" Ino looked at Naruto expectantly.

Naruto shook his head, "He fought, we all fought, but I got the scroll."

Haku walked up to Naruto to end his conversation, "Naruto-kun, good you're here, it's time to start the next part of the exam, can you follow me to the main room?" Naruto looked back at Ino and Shikamaru and motioned to follow.

XxX

The genin all met in the main room, an arena looking setup with stairs leading to balconies for viewing the events below. Naruto saw every genin he had noticed enter the tower and quite a few jounin standing in front of them. As he tried to put faces to names he saw the Sandaime Hokage walk up, part of him wanted to yell out to the old man but his tact gave him reprieve from doing so. As he took his position towards the front of the jounin he cleared his throat to gain attention. The old man went on a tangent of how the chunin exams were important for maintaining relations between nations and such, by that part of his speech Naruto had tuned him out as he had been bored out of his skull until he heard the words 'first fight.'

As he snapped out of his trance he talked to Sakura, "Sakura-chan what's going on?"

She cast a short look before pointing up, "There's an elimination preliminary round of fights between us before the final part of the exam, that screen is to show who gets a bye to the next part."

Naruto looked angry, "So someone won't have to fight? I wouldn't take it, if I didn't win my fight then I didn't deserve to be here."

Sakura looked at him strangely, "Yeah, but a lot of people are hurt and wouldn't be at 100%."

Naruto nudged her and told her to look up, "Well it isn't us so don't worry about it."

**Sasuke Uchiha advances**

"Where is the teme anyway? I haven't seen him since we got here."

Sarutobi looked at Naruto, "Sasuke has been taken to the hospital for his injuries in the Forest of Death."

Jushiro scoffed, "More of Konoha's favoritism for that clan again, me and Naruto probably never had a chance at getting it huh?"

As the board started shifting for the first bout Sarutobi spoke once more, "Jushiro-kun, you know my hands are tied in certain areas, you should pay attention though." He pointed up as the board stopped.

Looking up, Jushiro almost began to laugh, "Of course it is, how could I have thought any different."

Match 1: Jushiro Moyomoto vs. Dosu Kinuta

"Right off the bat… How did I know, ha. Alright let's do this. I want to go home already." Jushiro began rolling his wrists to loosen them as the floor began to clear.

Naruto walked past with words of encouragement, "Don't worry Big Boss, I'm sure Haku-chan wouldn't mind if you lost… Stay _youthful_… ha ha ha."

As the rest took their places in the balcony Jushiro glared at Naruto and then at Dosu, "Thanks runt… I wasn't really that pissed off going into this thing, but you better hope I vent enough on mummy-man here, because you're next."

Dosu laughed, "You weak Konoha ninja, you live in luxury, your best genin couldn't possibly touch me, you are far too soft."

Jushiro assumed his stance, "Whatever. Shut up and fight."

"I am Hayate Gekko, I will be your proctor for this part of the exams, the fights will take place until one side gives up, is incapacitated, or dies, however when I say a fight is over then it ends." The two nodded, "Very well, begin"

Jushiro crossed his arms and gave an appraising look at Dosu, "So… How are you gonna fight me?"

Dosu raised the gauntlet on his right arm, "You'll see, very soon."

Jushiro looked up at Naruto and mouthed the words, 'this is you brat.' Naruto smiled as Jushiro ran at Dosu he flicked his gauntlet, Jushiro stumbled off balance and dodged a punch from Dosu. As he landed he couldn't see, and it took all of his willpower to not throw up. As he got his bearings back he heard Dosu laughing.

"What the hell was that?" Jushiro had stopped stumbling but couldn't see straight.

Dosu stopped laughing to explain, "This is my Melody Arm, it allows me to use vibrations to attack you, in different ways."

Jushiro understood the concept, "So if I don't beat you fast you're just gonna keep doing that shit aren't you?"

Dosu nodded, "My attacks will only get worse as our battle progresses."

Jushiro nodded, "Okay, understood."

He transformed his ring into his cestus as Dosu laughed again, "You're going to pit your arm against mine, you're a fool."

Jushiro motioned for him to come, "Then spin the wheel raggedy man."

"Aw man that mummy guy fucked up… And Big Boss is still gonna be pissed when he gets up here… I hope I fight next." Naruto slinked down while holding the railing as Sakura looked at the fight,

"Naruto why are you so sure he messed up? Why do you think it's over?" Naruto sighed and pointed back to the fight, Sakura looked at him with a raised eyebrow before looking into the arena.

Dosu and Jushiro ran towards one another while cocking their hands back for a punch, "You really are a fool boy, the vibrations from my arm will shatter yours on contact!" As the two launched their punches their fists collided. For a moment there was nothing, until the gauntlet on Dosu's arm cracked and broke into pieces. As he saw this he recoiled in shock as Jushiro smirked, "What , what did you do to my Melody Arm!"

Jushiro stood straight up, "I destroyed the base materials holding it in one piece, you seemed to be so proud of it, and honestly it was a pain in my ass so it had to go."

Sakura looked at the scene in awe, "Naruto what was that?"

Naruto stood up, "It's alchemy, you've never seen Big Boss fight before I take it?" She shook her head no, "He uses alchemy like me, only his focus is different."

Sakura just looked between the two brothers, 'What did you two do to get so strong.'

Dosu screamed in frustration and charged Jushiro, leading with his right as old habits die hard. Jushiro punched the ground forcing slabs of it to rise just as Dosu reached him. After a thud Jushiro walked around and found that Dosu had knocked himself out by charging into the wall. Jushiro burst out laughing at the fallen Oto ninja as he hovered above, "You suck! What the hell were you thinking? You ran face-first into a wall! Proctor guy, call it."

"Dosu is unable to continue, the winner is Jushiro Moyomoto. *cough*" Hayate pointed at Jushiro.

"Primetime! What do you know about that?" Jushiro gloated all the way up the stairs, as he passed Naruto he ruffled his hair, "Beat that brat."

Naruto pushed his hand off, "That guy was a lightweight anyway, I could've beaten him with one hand tied behind my back."

Jushiro kept walking to his team, "Maybe… But it's not my problem."

Naruto fumed, "Big Boss got his early… They'll probably make me go last or something."

Sakura shook her head, "No Naruto, they said it was random, who knows when you'll fight?"

Naruto sucked his teeth, "Nothing like this is random Sakura-chan, a few fights might be, but when it comes to me it is always worst case scenario."

XxX

Fight 2 ended up being Chouji against Shino. Ino fired Chouji up by calling him fat, but that just ended up rolling him into a mass of Shino's insects. Needless to say he was drained rather quickly.

Fight 3 was Ino versus Sakura, it was a pretty low level fight that ended with the two girls knocking each other out.

Fight 4 was Kiba against Temari,. Kiba and Akamaru tried a blitzing buzzsaw tactic of launching Gatsuuga at her repeatedly but she kept blowing them back before catching them in a whirlwind that shredded the boy and his dog into unconsciousness.

For fight 5, the Oto kunoichi Kin fought Shikamaru. Shikamaru allowed himself to be hit by her senbon on string in order to trap her with his shadow. He forced her to knock herself out by dilling her head into the wall behind her.

Naruto was beyond pissed, "Damn it they should have let me fight first, I'm fresh, we haven't done anything in days."

By now Kakashi had shown up, "Naruto don't worry about it, you'll fight soon enough."

Naruto was getting stir-crazy, "But Sakura fought, the teme got a bye, and Big Boss beat that Oto guy's ass, I'm bored Kakashi!"

Kakashi flipped through his Icha Icha book while listening to Naruto's rant, "Calm down, the next fight is up."

Match 6: Kankuro vs. Blank Nogami

Blank stood and stretched his joints with pops and cracks, "Alright finally, my ass is numb."

Eiko gave him a hug, "Good luck Blank, you can win against this guy."

Blank gave her a confident smile, "Naruto beat this guy with one punch in the streets, I think I'm safe."

Jushiro clapped him on his shoulder, "Don't lose, I want to see you both in the finals this time." Blank nodded and walked to the stairs.

As he and Kankuro took their starting spots Blank narrowed his ryes, "Naruto's punch is still on your face? Damn I guess the kid did hit you hard."

Kankuro got angry, "That brat sucker-punched me! I'll beat you and then I'll show him what really would have happened in that fight."

Blank scratched his head, "You really don't know what you'd be getting into, but that's neither here nor there; you have to beat me first."

Kankuro smirked as he pulled his bundle off of his back, "You know, you're right."

As it hit the floor Hayate came up, "The next bout, Kankuro vs. Blank Nogami, begin!"

Blank just waited for Kankuro to move patiently. After a minute or two Blank spoke, "Dude are we going to fight or is it a staring contest now?"

Kankuro just smirked, "I've got all day… we can take as long as needed for this."

Blank shrugged, "Alright, but just because I'm bored." Blank went through his hand-signs, "Let's see how you like this." As he finished his signs a small burst of chakra came from his body.

The two continued to stand until Kankuro looked confused, "What was that? That didn't do anything."

Blank shook his head, "Maybe you'll find out what it does later."

After speaking he rushed in to attack Kankuro, quickly Kankuro's bundle unraveled to reveal a puppet that launched at Blank. Blank dodged the puppet after seeing the blades on its arms, as he got some distance he spoke up, "Wow… a puppet, never fought a puppeteer before, interesting."

Kankuro smirked, "Well seeing as how it's a new experience for you I guess I should warn you, Karasu isn't a very good opponent to remain stationary against." He sent out Karasu to attack Blank once more.

Blank smiled as he began a sequence of dodges, "I can see that, guess I have to move now, so let's go."

Blank tried to go on the offensive by rushing Kankuro after a dodge, Kankuro quickly called Karasu back to interfere with his rush. Blank got some distance and threw shuriken, however once again Karasu blocked his weaponry and attacked in retaliation. Blank was sick of the dodge-fest and spoke again, "Dammit, I'm getting tired of your damn puppet, can you at least turn that chattering noise off, it's pissing me off?"

Kankuro smiled and kept up Karasu's attack, "Nope, sorry pal but I wouldn't if I wanted to, if it's getting to you you'll start making mistakes."

Blank jumped and began running on the walls to get a different angle of attack, 'There has to be some way I can get to him now, I have to close the distance.' As he pondered his attack Kankuro ordered his puppet on a wild, flailing charge at the red-head kid. Blank let the puppet crash into the wall and grinned as he saw it break into segments. He leapt off the wall while rushing Kankuro, "I hope that thing had a warranty! You're done son!" As Blank got within 10 feet a blade passed by him and cut him across the arm, stopping his charge.

The blade looked like an arm, as he held his cut he turned to see all of Karasu's dismembered parts floating in the air. Blank looked at Kankuro who was smirking, he looked back at the weapons and sighed, "You are an asshole you know that?"

Kankuro smirked, "I've been told that from time to time." He sent the blades flying at Blank who could only begin rapidly ducking and dodging.

XxX

"Blamk is getting beat." Naruto looked over to his brother and Eiko to see their reactions and here their comments.

He walked over as Eiko sighed, "Blank is an idiot, why is he only loading up the one move?"

Jushiro shrugged as he leaned on the rail, "I don't know, maybe he just wanted a good fight today?"

Eiko huffed and pouted, "That's stupid, so he's restricting himself just for that?"

Naruto looked at the two teens, "What are you guys talking about? Blank hasn't launched an attack since the fight started."

Jushiro ruffled Naruto's hair, "All he needs is to get close, his attack is way overloaded by this point since he hasn't discharged it at all since the beginning."

A look of understanding dawned on Naruto's face, "He's really going to use that here? And he loaded it up? That Kankuro guy better keep him away."

XxX

Kankuro had been keeping Blank at bay for the entire fight, grinning at the red-haired kid he began to taunt him, "Do you even have any jutsu? All you've done is throw shuriken and kunai at me. You've got to have something better than that." Blank jumped away as Karasu was called back to Kankuro's side.

Blank huffed and flexed his arms and grinned, "It'll all be over soon, don't you worry."

Kankuro sneered, "Yeah it will be all over, right now!" He shot a pellet from Karasu's mouth as it exploded around Blank.

Blank leapt out of the purple smoke, 'Poison! Damn it I should have known better.' As he landed a safe distance Blank noticed it was getting harder to breathe, 'Damn, he actually got me, but I'm still conscious, I'm not done yet.'

Kankuro could tell that Blank was in dire straits and chuckled at his strained breaths, "You like that? You were getting too bothersome attacking from a distance, you stopped running in so I decided that I wouldn't give you the option to run." Blank felt himself begin to slow down and see his vision blur as Kankuro's chuckle turned to laughter, "You see? My poison is taking effect. If you surrender now then I might let you get the antidote."

Blank looked at Kankuro with difficulty, "Well… If that's the case then I guess I can just beat you and take it."

Kankuro laughed deeply again, "You can barely stand, how exactly can you beat me? You don't even have any jutsu."

Blank straightened up and spit, "Just because I wasn't blasting at you doesn't mean I don't have any techniques." As Blank said this he put his hand into a fist, upon opening it lightning channeled around his arm.

Kankuro tensed up as Blank spoke again, "It's a shame it took so long to charge up, I guess that means I need to train it more."

Kankuro spoke as he saw the lightning course around Blank's body, "What the hell is that?"

Kankuro was banking on his poison shutting Blank down before he could attack. Blank set into a stance and spoke, "This is my technique, Raiken, it lets me convert the kinetic energy from my motion and add chakra to add to my taijutsu, cool huh?"

Kankuro sent Karasu back out to attack, "You won't get near me!"

As the puppet got within a good range Blank threw a hard punch forward at it. A good jet of lightning shot from the fist and hit the puppet, breaking Kankuro's chakra strings, seeing his opening Blank ran in, "Oops, forgot, my technique can disrupt chakra sometimes, too bad." Kankuro was able to regain control of his puppet soon after the charge began but it was too late.

Blank rushed in too quickly and shouted, "It's over! Raiton: Shougekiha (Lightning Release: Shockwave)!" The attack forced an expanding field of electricity to come from his hands. Kankuro and his puppet were both caught in the blast and forced away from Blank. As Kankuro's body came to rest Blank walked over and went through a few handsigns, "Raiton: Gawagawa Kisoku (Lightning Release: Arc Restraint)." Blank wrapped Kankuro in a band of electricity and held it on as Hayate walked over to check.

"*cough cough* Kankuro is incapacitated, Blank Nogami is the winner."

After getting his hand raised Blank walked over to Kankuro, "Hey, um good fight… Can I have that antidote though? I kind of don't want to die."

Kankuro chuckled as Blank let him go, "Sure… you have a weird jutsu."

Kankuro reached into his pouch and handed him a vial which Blank took and drank graciously, "Yeah I'm not really from Konoha, this is my family technique." Blank reached out and helped Kankuro up.

As they went their separate ways Kankuro complained, "I can't believe I lost to a guy who didn't hit me once."

As Blank made his way back to his team he dodged an incoming Naruto's tackling hug, as Blank laughed from above Naruto he complained, "Blank why did you do that? I just was trying to congratulate you."

Blank looked at him apologetically, "Sorry Naruto, I'm still pulsing with electricity, it won't go away for a while… Watch this." Blank smirked evilly as he touched the railing surrounding the balcony. He was rewarded with music to his ears as he heard a snap of electricity followed by multiple yelps from all who were reclining on it, both genin and jonin alike. Ignoring the glares he was getting from all of the people he shocked he chuckled, "I love doing that so much."

Sakura looked around and back to Blank, "Um Blank-san, you said you weren't from here, where are you from?"

Blank smiled at the girl as he adjusted his hitae-ate, "My family is from Kumokagure, they just moved out here after the last war. They let my family keep our clan secrets so we have Raiken as our style of combat."

Sakura nodded and looked at a rising Naruto, "Naruto you know interesting people, how strong is the girl after I just saw the other two?"

Naruto watched Blank walk away, "Big Boss's whole team is strong… They should be chunin already, but certain circumstances stopped them each time."

Sakura was interested as was Kakashi. The one-eyed man lowered his book as he spoke, "Mind elaborating on that Naruto?"

Naruto sighed, "They failed the first time on the second exam, that was Big Boss's fault apparently. He got lost and they spent forever looking for him, they took so long that when they reached their checkpoint the exam was over."

Kakashi nodded, "What about the other times?"

Naruto shook his head, "The last time Big Boss took the exam they all made it to the finals. They made Eiko-chan and Blank fight each other in the first round, Blank pulled his punches and lost. Eiko-chan had to fight Big Boss next and lost, and Big Boss actually won the whole damn tournament pretty easily but didn't get promoted."

Kakashi nodded again, "I remember that from last year, Jushiro did fight well. He was far stronger than quite a few genin, I was the second examiner last year."

Naruto looked back around and stopped on Team Jushiro, "I don't really care if I pass, I mean it would be nice, but Big Boss's team deserves it, and if Boss gets promoted then we can actually have nice crap in our house." He grinned up at Kakashi as he eye-smiled back

XxX

Match 7 Eiko Tanahashi vs. Tenten

Eiko got a hug from Naruto before heading downstairs, "Go get her Eiko-neechan!"

Eiko giggled as she pried Naruto off of her, "Neechan Naruto-kun?"

He grinned sheepishly, "Why not, it's not like you aren't right?" Eiko winked at him as she descended the stairs.

Sakura looked between the two as Eiko walked away, "Why are you two so close Naruto?"

Naruto turned to Sakura, "Because she's nice to me, she was the first girl that ever was. And she was Big Boss's first friend in Konoha."

Sakura looked at Eiko down in the arena stretching and waiting on Tenten, "You two must've known each other for a long time then."

Naruto grunted in response, "Almost five years now."

XxX

Hinata looked at Naruto embrace Eiko as she walked to her fight, 'How close is Naruto-kun to that girl?'

Kurenai saw her discomfort and spoke, "She's probably his sister figure." As Hinata looked up at her she continued, "Naruto doesn't know many people in this town, very few are actually women, and even less than that are women who don't actually dislike him. She seems to be kind of motherly to her team and Naruto by extention, she probably got close to him when he was younger."

Hinata looked back out, 'Sister? I still have a chance with Naruto then…' She smiled and looked at the soon to ensue battle. Shino smirked under his collar as he looked at a smirking Kurenai.

XxX

Eiko and Tenten eyed each other, both with smiles on their faces as they sized one another up before Eiko broke the silence, "Well I can see you're just as excited as I am about this fight huh?"

Tenten nodded, "I actually get to fight now, and you seem to be pretty competent by the way you carry yourself."

Eiko scratched her cheek in embarrassment, "Well I may be a little rusty in pitched combat, I haven't fought a proper opponent in quite a while."

She cracked her knuckles as Naruto yelled at her, "Gross Neechan!" She just smiled at him and pulled out a scroll.

Tenten raised her eyebrow but kept her smile as Eiko bit her thumb and smeared blood on the scroll to summon a sword with curved blades coming from both sides of the hilt, a double-bladed sword if you will. Eiko crouched with the sword behind her, "This is my sword, Souseiji Eidan (Twin Judgment), my favorite weapon."

Tenten's smile grew bigger, "You use weapons?"

Eiko nodded, "My teammate made this for me," Jushiro smirked in acknowledgement as Eiko continued, "It's very special to me, and hard to master."

Tenten nodded, "I agree, just because it isn't a big flashy jutsu doesn't mean weapons aren't cool too."

Eiko smiled at the girl, "Well let's get ready, I really want to fight."

As Tenten took a battle stance Hayate moved between the girls, "The 7th match; Eiko Tanahashi vs. Tenten, begin!"

As he jumped out of the way of the kunoichi, Tenten began throwing shuriken and kunai at Eiko. Eiko brought her sword in front of her and began to spin it rapidly to block the opening salvo of projectiles coming her way. After her block she set her sword to her side and ran in towards her opponent. As Tenten dodged her swipes Eiko took a sweeping swing at her followed by a sweep that took Tenten's legs from beneath her.

Tenten rolled away and forced Eiko back with more shuriken to gain some space to pull out her own scroll, as Eiko's eyes widened Tenten summoned a wakizashi to fight her in close. Eiko clashed blades with Tenten as she saw the smile on the girl's face. As the two strained against one another Eiko struck up some small talk, "Why are you so excited for this?"

Tenten grunted as she tried to overpower Eiko, "Because I never fight people who actually know how to use their weapons, I'm fired up to fight someone like me." Eiko smiled again before kicking Tenten's ankle out, forcing her to stumble, as she fell forward Eiko collided a fist with her stomach. As Tenten slumped over her fist she followed up with a thrust kick to the side of her head, she saw Tenten roll a few feet and waited for her to rise.

XxX

Naruto shook his head, "Man neechan is being mean."

Sakura again looked at him in confusion, "Why? What did she do?"

Naruto sighed, "She's gonna start breaking her weapons with Souseiji Eidan really soon."

Sakura looked back down to see a rising Tenten and a smiling Eiko, "Hey Naruto, why is Eiko always smiling, I've ever really seen her with an angry look on her face once before?"

Naruto smiled fondly, "Because neechan is sweet, she never really gets mad, she only gets angry if someone tries to hurt those close to her."

Rock Lee was frantically gripping the railing as he saw Tenten go down, "Come on Tenten, your flames of youth burn brighter than hers! You can beat her!" Neji looked at Blank and Jushiro who had looks of indifference on their faces as the fight progressed.

XxX

Eiko twirled her sword absently with her smile still present as Tenten rose to her feet. As she stood and steadied herself Eiko put her hand on her hip, "Okay, now let's try this again!" Tenten pulled out a second scroll and summoned a barrage of weapons to throw at Eiko. As the wave of weapons began flying Eiko threw her sword out at Tenten. The blades spinning wildly as they cut through Tenten's would be barrage, she watched as it made its way back into Eiko's hand.

She looked down to see her weapons were either nicked, cracked, or flat out broken. Tenten huffed, "How did you do that? Those were all high grade!"

Eiko smiled further as she took a finger and ran it over the blade, "My teammate is a blacksmith in his spare time and he made me this as a gift. It's the best weapon in Konoha I can almost assure you. You won't find such a craft elsewhere, mostly because he made it from foreign metals." She knocked on the blade twice for effect.

Tenten looked at her and pulled out two more scroll, "I still have one move left for you!"

Eiko ran in while making hand-signs, sword in hand, "No you don't! Kanashibari no Jutsu (Temporary Paralysis Jutsu)!" As the jutsu took effect Tenten's movement stopped long enough for Eiko to place her sword on Tenten's neck and smile at her, "Please yield…"

Tenten sighed as she spoke, "Proctor, I surrender."

Hayate moved up, "Winner of Match 7: Eiko Tanahashi."

Naruto whooped loudly as Eiko waved to him. Eiko looked at Tenten to see her admiring Souseiji Eidan with fervor, "Hi… Can I help you?"

Tenten nodded her head furiously, "I need to get something made like this, who made it?"

Eiko pointed up at a waving Jushiro, "That would be him, he's a blacksmith. He makes all of our specialty items." As she turned to climb the stairs she saw Jushiro getting grilled by Tenten, who apparently jumped up to him.

As she laughed at the look on Jushiro's face as Tenten spoke a mile a minute about making her weapons for cash she saw Naruto walking over. Naruto and Sakura stopped in front of her, "I knew you'd win Eiko-chan, why didn't you use Kanashibari sooner?"

Eiko looked down at the boy, "I wanted to see how good she was, she's decent, but we're not regular genin."

Sakura looked at Eiko with a longing look, the fight between her and Ino had not really been very impressive. She knew it was a low intensity battle with no really impressive events of which to speak, and now looking at Eiko handily dispatch a skilled opponent with relative ease. She sighed, catching Eiko's attention, "What's the matter Sakura?"

Sakura looked at the older girl sadly, "You're so much stronger than me, you actually can help your team in a fight, I never end up doing anything useful from the sidelines."

Sakura turned to the sound of a snort from Naruto, "Really? Well I guess some other pink-haired girl kept a giant snake from devouring my sorry ass in the Forest of Death."

Sakura's attention was again shifted as Eiko put a hand on her shoulder, "If you think you're weak then get stronger, it's that simple. I was like you before… I used to think Blank and Jushiro-kun were so far ahead of me that I could never catch up, but I got sick of it." She pulled her sword back out, "I trained as hard as I could, learned things that could help the boys, and eventually I got right up there, and you can too." She began to walk past the two members of Team 7, "You just need to find your niche."

Naruto smiled as Eiko walked away. Sakura looked up at Kakashi, "Kakashi-sensei, what do you think I should learn how to do?"

Kakashi looked down at Sakura, "Well, you have excellent chakra control, and you are extremely smart so I would recommend genjutsu for you, we'll talk about it after the preliminaries." She smiled at him as the next match appeared on the screen

Match 8: Hinata Hyuuga vs. Neji Hyuuga

Naruto looked at the board as a thought hit him, 'Hyuuga… are they close?' He looked over at Neji who was smirking in Hinata's direction, 'This guy… looks way too happy to be fighting Hinata.' As he turned his gaze to Hinata she had a terrified look on her face, 'Look at her, this guy has her petrified. She's strong, I know she can beat him.' Naruto met her fearful look and gave her a genuine smile. The look on his face calmed her down considerably as she met Naruto's eyes. She steeled herself as she walked down the stairs to fight.

Kakashi spoke up, "Hyuuga vs. Hyuuga; a family feud in the flesh."

Naruto looked at his sensei, "So they are related."

As the two Hyuuga genin looked at one another from across the arena Neji broke the silence, "Hinata-sama surrender. You know that you cannot defeat me." Hinata's eyes shied towards the floor, "You have gotten this far from the merits of your team, but you are nowhere near my level in strength, give up." Hinata looked deeper into the tile on the floor, "Hinata-sama why did you even choose to enter the chunin exams?"

Hinata looked up slightly but could not look Neji in the eyes, "Ano, I wanted to enter so that I might be able to change myself."

Neji scoffed, "Hinata-sama you cannot change, a failure is a failure no matter how much you want it to change." Hinata looked to be on the verge of tears as Neji's verbal assault continued, "You want to prove that you aren't a loser, that you aren't a failure to your clan and father, but it is not your destiny to do this. You were born weaker, you were destined to never reach a level of strength, you simply must give up being a shinobi altogether." Hinata shook as she heard these words until a shout broke the room.

"No! Hinata don't listen to this douchebag! What the hell does he know?" Naruto was looking as if he would jump the railing, "Who are you to tell Hinata what she can or can't do? Look at her, why would you want to treat the sweetest girl in the goddamn world like that? Hinata you better not be listening to this, you can win, I know you can, I believe in you!"

Neji glared up at Naruto, "Trash and losers like you should stay out of the affairs of others."

Naruto sneered at Neji, "You're fucking lucky that running down there to beat your ass would get me and Hinata kicked out or you'd be tasting shoe leather right now!"

Kakashi grabbed the boy to calm him down, "Naruto cool off, you need to control yourself." Naruto settled for setting a hard gaze on the arena floor.

As Neji looked back over to Hinata he saw that her apprehension was gone, she had set her mind to fight, "Prepare yourself my brother." Neji smirked as the two Hyuuga settled into their stances.

Hayate stepped forward, "Match 8: Hinata Hyuuga vs. Neji Hyuuga, Begin!"

Neji and Hinata remained motionless until Neji spoke again, "Hinata-sama, you cannot win, my eyes can see your every weakness, give up."

Hinata lowered herself and the two rushed in to begin. Palms flew as they used their Juuken techniques to pummel one another. Naruto couldn't believe it, 'THIS is Hinata? I've never seen her look so intense… it's kind of cool.' As the fight carried on Neji slowly took control. After a flurry from both that left Hinata's arm outstretched as he pulled her sleeve down to reveal the tell-tale red marks that showed that her tenketsu were sealed off.

She looked at him in shock, "Y-you mean a-all this time?"

Neji smirked, "Yes, all this time I was aiming for them, your Juuken is useless now, you have no hope of victory." Emphasizing that point with a hard palm strike to Hinata's chest that sent her to the floor, Neji turned to Hayate, "Call the fight, she's done."

As Hayate moved to end the bout a shout rang out, "NO!"

Eyes turned to see Naruto gripping the rail hard, "Don't you stop this fight, Hinata isn't done yet!"

Sakura grabbed his arm, "Naruto, she's down, she can't fight anymore."

Naruto gave her a bitter look, "Then why is she standing up?"

Attention turned to Hinata who had made it to her feet, breathing heavily, "I won't quit, if I quit now, in front of the person I admire, I'd never forgive myself." She looked fondly at Naruto before looking back at Neji and re-activated her Byakugan.

Neji looked at her in near disgust, "Why do you continue to defy your fate? Why must you keep fighting this useless battle, you will never win? Do not go against what fate has decided for you."

She gave him a weak smile, "No Neji, I am not defying anything, but it is you, who is running from fate." Neji gave her a murderous look as he charged with intent to kill with one strike.

In the blink of an eye all of the Konoha jounin sensei were holding the boy back as he fought against them, "What is this? Protecting the main branch again I see, your damned favoritism." Gai shook his head, "Damn it Neji you said you wouldn't let this branch house thing rile you up." Hinata coughed blood as she fell to the floor. Kurenai ran over to her as Naruto, Rock Lee, and Shino dropped from the balcony to her side.

Naruto dropped to his knees at her side, "Damn, damn, damn, this is all my fault!" Naruto grabbed her hand, "Hinata, come on, you're okay right?"

Hinata looked at him weakly, "Naruto-kun?"

He snapped to attention at her voice, "I'm right here Hinata, what do you need?"

She coughed blood as she spoke, "Do you, do you think I did well."

He smiled at her, "Yeah, yeah you did Hinata… I don't think I could've done better myself."

She tried to speak again but another violent cough of blood forced Kurenai to cut in as she opened her jacket and listened to her heartbeat, "She's going into cardiac arrest! I need a medic!"

Naruto watched in shock as she was rushed off by the medic-nin who had responded. As they left the arena he heard a shout, "Hey loser." Naruto knew he was the one being spoken to as he turned to face Neji Hyuuga, "You should stop all of your stupid cheerleading, it's annoying. And remember this… A failure is a failure, you cannot change what you were destined to be."

Naruto grabbed his pants, "You can suck my failure balls."

Neji smirked arrogantly, "I see, hm."

Naruto reached down to smear some of Hinata's blood on his hands, "Neji Hyuuga… You'd better hope you never see me in the streets, if you do I cannot be held personally responsible for what I do. But I can do this, I vow on my right arm and to Hinata to defeat you."

Neji walked back up to the balcony, "Don't make vows you cannot keep."

Naruto fumed as he made his way to the stairs until Kakashi stopped him, "Naruto, you should stay down here." He pointed up to the screen.

Fight 9: Naruto Uzumaki vs. Zaku Abumi

Naruto turned and made his way back to the starting point, waiting for his opponent. As Zaku stood across from Naruto he grinned sadistically, "You really shouldn't have made that promise, you can't beat me punk. Don't worry though, I'll take that arm you offered up out of principle." As he cackled, obviously amused at his own joke, Naruto kept his eyes solely on Zaku until he finished laughing.

Naruto simply said, "I'm going to make an example out of you."

The tone of his voice as he said this was cold enough to make Gaara raise a non-existant brow out of interest.

Sakura looked at the blonde boy and spoke aloud, "I've never seen Naruto look like this before… Is he really serious?"

Jushiro looked at the boy in interest, 'I was going to make fun of the brat, but there is a difference between crossing the line and sprinting over it, if I said a word about Hinata he might try to kill me.'

Kurenai thought along the same lines, 'Does he even know how much he cares about her?'

Hayate stepped between the boys, "Match 9: Naruto Uzumaki vs. Zaku Abumi, Begin!"

As Hayate moved, Zaku moved his hands up at Naruto, "I'll blow you away in one shot, Zankuuha (Slicing Sound Wave)!"

As the chakra built up in his arms Naruto barely moved until he finally made his hand signs, "Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!" Despite the similar blasts from the two boys Naruto's attack was pure rage inspired as it somehow overpowered Zaku's attack after a few moments of struggle and sent the boy back into the wall. As Zaku collided with the concrete wall he exhaled heavily.

As he stood he looked at Naruto in anger, "What the hell? That jutsu should be one of the strongest wind attacks in existence!"

Naruto stood at attention once more, "You got those surgically implanted with those fucking tubes in your arms huh?"

Zaku smirked, "Yeah, so what? You jealous?"

A ghost of a smile appeared on Naruto's face for a moment, "Your fake-ass arms can't beat me. Your power isn't your own you loser."

Zaku screamed at Naruto, "What would you know you fucking brat, these arms make me strong, strong enough to deal with anyone who gets in my way! I'll kill you!" He ran at Naruto and once again thrusted his arms out, "Zankuuha (Slicing Sound Wave)!" Naruto dodged this time as he didn't want to use his alchemy yet. Zaku just kept blasting away at Naruto with his air tube attacks, "Hold still you little bastard! Stop moving and just die!"

XxX

Sakura looked on in worry, "Why is Naruto not attacking? He's going to get caught at some point with one of those."

Jushiro walked over, "Naruto is extremely mad right now, if he didn't get a lot of movement in then he can't vent his anger. This Zaku guy is screwed the second he hits Naruto."

Sakura snapped around on Jushiro, "But that's too risky, if he can beat him then he should just beat him!"

Rock Lee walked over to Sakura, "No Sakura-chan, he still wants to hurt Neji, but he knows he cannot do that here, he's wasting his own energy to calm himself down. Jushiro-san is right, this fight will not take too long."

Kurenai walked over to Asuma to watch the fight. Asuma noticed her and struck up a conversation, "So is Naruto really that mad right now? Because from what I've heard that kid is too goofy to feel anger like this. Look at him, his face is like stone."

Kurenai nodded, "He actually spent some time with Hinata recently, I think he sees a lot of herself in him; no one really believes in either of them, they both are underestimated and put down. He actually might kill this guy right now."

Asuma gave her a strange look, "This kid wouldn't do that would he? He can't really be that strong."

Kurenai shook her head, "I'm not really sure myself, but with what his brother is actually capable of I wouldn't be surprised… Or did you forget Jushiro Moyomoto from last year's chunin exams."

Asuma conceded his argument and looked back at the fight.

XxX

"Kid you are a coward! Stop running from me!" Zaku fired off another blast from his arms that Naruto simply dodged.

Naruto stood still at last, "Alright, this is useless, you obviously can't hit a moving target with those oversized fans so I'll give you one freebie. Better make it count." Naruto closed his eyes and turned his back to Zaku. Zaku cackled, "You are so dead! Zankuuha (Slicing Sound Wave)!"

The blast hit Naruto like a tree trunk and sent him sprawling along the ground for a few meters before he came to a stop. Zaku laughed loudly, "I showed you! You fucking runt, I told you my arms are the ultimate ninjutsu!"

XxX

The entire viewing crowd looked stunned except for Team Jushiro, Jushiro saw the looks on Sakura, Rock Lee, and Kakashi and sighed, "You guys don't even know how tough he is do you? That was a love-tap in comparison to what I do to him. He's just milking it."

Sakura shook, "He took that attack with his back turned, he was standing still. How can he survive that?"

Jushiro leaned on the rail and looked back at the fight, "Because I trained him, my team beat the crap out of him before he ever became a genin. One decent level jutsu can't beat him."

XxX

Zaku's laughter came to a stop as he heard a voice, "Well, that wasn't bad. But you need something with a little more kick to it." He looked over to see a bleeding Naruto standing up and dusting himself off, "I hope that wasn't your best shot because that won't be nearly enough to put me down."

Zaku shook in anger, "Well how about this then! Zankuu Kyokuha (Ultimat Slicing Sound Blast)!"

The resulting blast from Zaku's arms obliterated the ground in front of him and almost destroyed the statue in the room. As the destruction settled he saw the results of his attack, but no Naruto. He looked around quickly for him, "Where is he? Did I obliterate him?"

Naruto dropped from under a balcony on the side of Zaku, "Man you have decent attacks, but you cannot set your moves up to save your life."

Zaku snapped at him, "When did you move! I never saw you dodge!"

Naruto shook his head, "Well when you scream the name of your move from twenty feet away and I'm facing you it's kind of a given that I have to move right?"

Zaku thrusted his hands back out at Naruto, "Well dodge this! Zan-"

He never finished his attack as Naruto ran in to punch him dead in the face with his right hand. Zaku flew across the floor and stood slowly, "Good, good, at least you don't have a glass jaw, although yours is probably broken now." Zaku rubbed the lump on his jaw signifying its injury. He thrusted his arms out once more until Naruto ran back in and began battering him with close attacks like inside elbows and knees, "You can't fight in close can you? All you have are those arms, you one-trick pony." Zaku grunted with each attack on his person.

He tried a desperation punch but Naruto swatted it aside and grabbed the back of his head with both hands and began battering his body with knee strikes. The time in the clinch tenderized Zaku's body, he was sure he had broken ribs and he couldn't gain enough distance to gather any chakra to his arms to force him off. Zaku tried to shake himself violently to pry Naruto off but this was his final mistake. As he was jerking his head around to escape, Naruto pulled his neck down, this led to Zaku forcing his head into a push downward that had Naruto crack him directly in the face with a knee strike. After this disorienting strike he followed up with three more knees to the head before Zaku's knees gave out and he dropped. While he was down Naruto kept his head cradled and exposed as he dropped even more knees on his head.

Naruto was stopped by Hayate Gekko calling him off, "Zaku Abumi is unconscious, the winner of this match is Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto walked back up the stairs with his hand in the air as he was confronted by the remaining Konoha genin in attendance. Ino spoke first, "Naruto what was that? You could've killed that guy!"

Naruto tried to walk past but the wall was too thick to budge, "Yeah I could've but I didn't, he's fine, he'll just have a hell of a headache when he finally wakes up."

Sakura spoke next, "Naruto you knocked him out before he fell, why did you keep hitting him?"

Naruto frowned, "Because no one stopped me. If you were really fighting to the death would you give up such a huge advantage just because he wasn't standing up?"

Shikamaru looked at the place where Zaku's head was during Naruto's knee drops and nodded, "He's right, that guy tried to kill him, he's lucky that the proctor stopped the fight." The girls frowned but Naruto shook his head sadly and walked past.

As he walked he was this time stopped by Lee and Maito Gai, the older taijutsu user spoke first, "Naruto I don't think I've ever seen anyone use taijutsu like that before, I was always told that you didn't have much taijutsu skill."

Naruto shrugged, "Well I can't really drop knees on anyone's head in the academy. It's me and my brother's style, we are the only ones in this village that fight like that."

Rock Lee was taking notes and looking at Naruto in awe, "Such an efficient style, Naruto-kun you must allow me the honor of sparring with you sometime, what is it called?"

Naruto smiled at the bowl cut boy, "We call it Akuma-ken, the devil-fist style, you only saw two parts of it, the Wing-Chun and the Muay Thai parts." Rock Lee nodded and kept his notes, Naruto continued, "And yes we can spar, but not until I beat that sneer off of Neji's face, no offense Gai, but he needs a serious ass-whooping."

Gai nodded grimly and then turned his attention to Rock Lee, "Okay Lee, your bout is next! Go down there and show that Gaara the power of youth!"

Lee had a fire burning in his eyes as he hopped around, "Yes Gai-sensei I will not lose to this Suna ninja today!" Gai looked on as Lee hopped the rail to face his opponent.

XxX

Match 10: Rock Lee vs. Sabaku no Gaara

Rock Lee fought well against his mysterious opponent but Gaara was too much for the energetic genin. Even after opening three of the eight gates he was still overwhelmed in the end. Gaara ended up destroying Lee's right arm and leg with his sand, but before he could finish Lee off he was stopped by Gai.

As the preliminaries ended the Third Hokage announced that the genin had a month to prepare for the final round of the chunin exams, a tournament format of one-on-one matches. As the genin drew their numbers the matches were decided.

Match 1: Naruto Uzumaki vs Neji Hyuuga

Match 2: Sasuke Uchiha vs. Sabaku no Gaara

Match 3: Shikamaru Nara vs. Shino Aburame

Match 4: Jushiro Moyomoto vs. Sabuku no Temari

Match 5: Blank Nogami vs. Eiko Tanahashi

Match 6: Winner of match 1 vs. winner of match 2

Match 7: Winner of match 3 vs. winner of match 4 vs. winner of match 5

Match 8: Winner of match 6 vs. winner of match 7

Naruto had an evil grin on his face as he heard the match-up placements as Neji just gave him a smirk in response. Gaara had a stoic look with the exception of a twitching eye. Shikamaru and Shino looked indifferent but gave a nod of acknowledgement. Jushiro winked at Temari who blushed and glared in response. And Blank and Eiko smiled at each other.

The chunin hopefuls were dismissed as the month of training began.

**Damn college, I'm sicker than hell. I have not been sick in nearly 10 years, 6 months in college and I've got f'n strep throat. This chapter took too long because of many outside forces, but it sucks in comparison to my other chapters, I think it's my weakest yet, but it had to be written to move forward in the story. Next chapter should be up fairly quickly because all of my college shit is done for now. FAFSA's still a bitch though, for those of you not in college you might learn this fairly soon.**

**Any questions or comments of anything relevant will be answered and referred to next chapter.**

**Defeat the World, Kenchi out.**

**Oh! And stay youthful. (ha ha ha ha)**


	15. Violence is Educational

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did then I'd have had Naruto beat the shit out of Sasuke in their first encounter after the time-skip. Why? Because if that happened then Naruto would have gotten a little bit of an ego boost, seriously it's like he's becoming more and more emo by the chapter it's maddening.

**Chapter 15: Violence is Educational**

Naruto sprinted to the hospital to find Kakashi after the final stage matchups were announced. If he could ask Kakashi to train him before Sasuke could ask then he'd have to do it right? In a world where this wasn't Naruto we're talking about sure, but unfortunately it was.

"Kakashi I need your help! I have-"

Kakashi cut off the boy's frantic request, "I already know what you're going to ask me Naruto and I can't do it."

Naruto face-fell, "What! Why the hell not? You're my goddamn sensei, you ARE supposed to help me out!"

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah but Naruto, you saw Gaara fight, Sasuke needs a lot of work if he's going to go up against that, not just to win, but just to survive."

Naruto threw his hands into the air in exasperation, "Of course it's Sasuke, why would I even think I had a chance. You do know that I get the winner of that fight don't you? You aren't going to even bother with me and Sakura then huh?"

Kakashi defended himself, "Hey Naruto, Sakura asked me if I could help her out to find herself a niche to get stronger, I got her someone to help her in that department. And for you, I called in a favor for you to be trained."

This did little to soothe Naruto, "So you're saying that you got someone to train Sakura for nothing but needed to bribe a person to train me? That's great, more fucked up lessons, it can be the academy all over again!"

Kakashi was getting upset, "Now listen to me Naruto, if you lose then Neji will leave you alive, if Sasuke loses then his opponent will probably kill him. The stakes are higher, I have to give him intense training, and you can at least give your instructor a chance."

Naruto turned and walked deeper into the hospital, "No, forget it Kakashi, you can go retract your goddamn favor. I didn't need your fucking help before this and I sure as hell don't need it now. Go pamper the Uchiha some more, I'll train my goddamn self for a month and still beat his ass all over the arena. See you in a month, or not."

Kakashi watched the blonde boy disappear around the corner, "*sigh* I guess I should tell Ebisu to give him some space for today, maybe he'll cool off by tomorrow."

XxX

Naruto was incredibly angry, 'I can't believe that masked asshole, fuck him. I'm not asking him for shit ever again, I never get anything from him.'

He heard a voice in his mind, "**Calm down Naruto-kun, your KI is messing with people, you are in a hospital after all. Just calm down.**" Naruto slowed his pace and began taking deep breaths. As he continued walking he saw an open door and a familiar face.

"Oh no… Hinata." Naruto entered the room that housed Hinata. He saw her hooked up to so many machines in the room, including an assisted breathing device. He pulled up a seat close to her bed and took a deep breath, "I'm so, so sorry. This is all my fault sweetheart. *sigh* My dumb ass got you almost killed by that bastard Neji… If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be here." Naruto just studied her body and grabbed her hand softly.

A cough forced him to turn around to face Kurenai, "Well what do we have here?"

Naruto looked downtrodden, "Okay I get it, I'll get out of here don't worry, I just wanted to make sure she was at least still alive."

Naruto stood and tried to leave until he was stopped by Kurenai, "Naruto why are you leaving?"

He turned around with a dead-pan look, "Because roughly 95% of this village hates my guts and wants me dead, and I know for a fact that you know about my 'tenant' so I'm out of here before you decide to take that chair right there across my head."

Kurenai shook her head, "I don't care about that Naruto, I know that it isn't your fault."

Naruto shrugged, "Okay well then how about the fact that I got your student damn near killed by rooting her on today, I'm pretty sure that that would get me beaten by someone on your team, Shino or Kiba, and I don't feel like fighting them off when I'm already pissed so I should go."

Kurenai grabbed his shoulder to stop him again, "Sit down Naruto, I can tell you care so you can stay for a while."

Naruto gave her a small smile and sat back down. Kurenai pulled up a chair and sat next to him, "Naruto you said you were angry, what is this all about."

Naruto kept his gaze on Hinata as he answered, "Aside from watching someone so nice get beaten up so badly I also have the fact that my damn jounin sensei wants to spend even more alone time with everyone's golden boy Sasuke."

Kurenai looked at him funny as he elaborated, "He's taking Sasuke to train alone for the next month. He got Sakura someone to teach her a specialty, but then pawned me off on someone like I'm damaged goods. I don't want his damned help if that's how it is, but I can't think of anyone that would even want to help me train; Big Boss's team all have to train for the finals themselves and no one else likes me enough to help out with me."

Kurenai put a hand on his back, "Why do you say he dropped you on someone?"

Naruto chuckled, "Because he said he had to 'call in a favor,' that means that the person really didn't want to have to do this. If the guy actually teaches me then he'll be condescending and difficult the entire time, if he actually teaches me anything I'd be shocked, but if he doesn't want to do it then who needs him."

Kurenai raised her eye-brow, "Why do you think it's a he and not a she?"

Naruto chuckled again, "Because of the 5% of people who don't want me dead, I can name on one hand the ones that are girls, Ayame-chan, Eiko-chan, Hinata, maybe Sakura-chan, and I'm not sure about you because we've never spoken. But seeing as you haven't tried to stab me with a dirty syringe in the neck yet, I might have to add you to the list." As he smirked at her she smiled back.

He threw his hands behind his head, "Yeah it's definitely not you though, because I suck at genjutsu through and through."

Kurenai nodded, "Yes, but I am the one Kakashi got to train your teammate, she's a genjutsu type so I may be able to nudge her the right way."

Naruto smiled and looked at her then Hinata, "Get her strong Kurenai-san, I'll be back to see Hinata soon."

Kurenai looked confused, "You called me Kurenai-san when you don't even call your own sensei with an honorific."

Naruto smirked as he left the room, "Because Kakashi has done nothing to earn my respect, at all."

XxX

Naruto walked home and sat on his bed to send himself to his mindscape. As he came out of the darkness he found himself in a forest. He walked until he found a small clearing and sat down, 'How in the hell can I not find Kyuubi in my own mind?' "Kyuubi come out damn it!" Naruto stood up and began pacing in a circle until he heard a twig snap, "Kyuubi come out, if you freaking try to tackle me I swear to Kami I'm leaving."

"**Aww you're no fun Naruto-kun**" Naruto looked in a direction where Kyuubi came out from the foliage, tails swishing in amusement.

Naruto walked up to her and gave her a hug, "Why are you so hard to find whenever I come here?"

Kyuubi laughed and patted him on the head, "**Because it's fun to upset you kit.**"

Naruto shook his head, "Well I have a month to train for the final part of the chunin exams and to stomp a mud-hole in Neji Hyuuga's ass. I thought I could come here and maybe get you to train me, teach me a jutsu or something."

Kyuubi shook her head with an apologetic look, "**Sorry Naru-chan, I don't know any jutsu. When I had to fight all I did was use attacks that relied on my youki, even if you tapped into my chakra you couldn't use any of my attacks.**"

Naruto sighed heavily, "It's okay Kyuubi-chan, I'm still screwed I guess, I can't find anyone to train me."

She kneeled down to his level, "**It'll be okay, just keep trying. If you really can't find anyone then just go it alone, you can do it.**"

He gave her another hug, "Thank you Kyuubi-chan, I appreciate that, but I'm gonna have to face facts, a month without growing in strength is a long time, if I can't get anyone to help me then I'm gonna get my ass kicked. I'll see you later Kyuubi-chan, I have to keep searching."

With that he exited his mind.

XxX

Naruto came to his senses still seated on his bed, "DAMMIT!" As he shouted his room became occupied with Haku and Jushiro.

Both entered in a state of distress but upon seeing a peeved Naruto on his bed calmed down, "Alright brat, what is the matter with you."

Naruto huffed, "Kakashi is training Sasuke for the next month, and I can't find anyone else to train me that actually would."

Jushiro shook his head, "Well I would offer you to train with me and Haku-chan, but I'll probably end up fighting you in the final matchup so I don't think that would be smart for either of us."

Naruto nodded sadly, "Yeah I know, besides I've been messing with you two for months, I might as well chalk this one up to karma huh?"

Haku walked over and put her hands on his shoulders, "You know there is someone that might help you out."

Naruto perked up, "Who? Who is it? Will they really agree to help?"

Haku smiled at him, "Just go on next door, I'm sure Zabuza-sama can help you."

Naruto was frozen in shock, 'Why the hell didn't I think of that?'

Jushiro palmed his forehead, "Haku-chan I thought he told you not to call him –sama anymore." Haku just shrugged.

Naruto jumped out of his bed, "Do you really think Zabuza would help me out?"

Haku nodded, "Yes, it might not seem like it, but Zabuza-sama likes both of you, if you ask him he might train you."

Naruto jumped up and gave Haku a hug, "Thank you Haku-chan! I don't know what I was going to do." Naruto ran out of the room

After a moment of silence between Haku and Jushiro he finally spoke up, "So you do realize that Zabuza is going to beat the crap out of him right?"

Haku gave him a smirk, "Of course I do, like he said he has been messing with us for months. This is nothing compared to what I should do to him."

Jushiro recoiled for a second, "Haku-chan that's so devious… I knew I was into you for a reason!" Haku gave Jushiro a short kiss before they both burst out in laughter.

Meanwhile Naruto had run out of his apartment right next door to Zabuza's and began frantically knocking. After hearing some grumbling and footsteps the door opened to reveal the bandaged swordsman. "What do you want kid?"

Naruto dropped to his hands and knees, "Zabuza, I need you to train me for the finals."

Zabuza scratched his head, "Come on in brat."

Naruto entered the apartment and took a seat at Zabuza's table. Zabuza took his seat and looked at the boy, "You mind telling me what this is all about?"

Naruto gave Zabuza a mirthful grin, "Like I said, I need someone to train me for the last part of the chunin exams, so what do you say?"

Zabuza looked at Naruto and sighed, "Yeah, so why me? Why not ask Kakashi to do it?"

Naruto clenched his fists as the smile disappeared from his face, "Kakashi thought it would be more beneficial if he trained Sasuke for the entire month and left me with some random douche."

Zabuza sighed, "Damn it… Again? Has he even taught your team anything yet?"

Naruto shook his head, "No, he taught tree-climbing, which I already knew, and then he helped Sasuke awaken his Sharingan. Me and Sakura haven't done anything with him."

Zabuza stood up, "Alright brat, if you really want my help ask Haku for directions to a training area I found, be there tomorrow morning and we'll make a real ninja out of you."

Naruto jumped out of his seat and tried to hug Zabuza but was stopped by a foot to the face, "Calm down brat, I just think that training you will be pretty interesting. You aren't exactly a push-over in a fight."

Naruto rubbed his face with a smile, "Thanks Zabuza, I know I'll get stronger now, I'll kick that Hyuuga kid's teeth down his throat."

Zabuza smirked under his bandages and began to push the kid out of his apartment, "Yeah whatever kid, just get out of here."

Naruto grinned as Zabuza shut the door behind him, "Finally, someone who'll help me out, who needs Kakashi anyway?"

Somewhere in the distance a masked ninja could be heard sneezing on his book, "*achoo* Ahh! No! I can't ruin this issue yet, who knows when the next one will come out!"

XxX

Naruto woke up the next day in an excited state of mind. He hopped out of bed and fixed himself 3 cups of instant ramen before he ran to the area given to him by Haku the other day. As he arrived at the field he didn't see a tall, bandaged swordsman waiting for him as he expected. Naruto stood in the middle of the clearing and stood for a few minutes, "Where is Zabuza, he said to be here, Haku-chan wouldn't have given me an incorrect meeting place right?"

As he pondered this a familiar sound of wind whipping found its way into his ears. Déjà vu hit Naruto as he hit the deck just in time to avoid Kubikiri Hocho from implanting itself into the base of his neck. As he looked around to find the source of the attack a boot planted itself firmly in his side as he was sent flying through the air. As he righted himself and landed on his feet he saw Zabuza pulling his massive sword from the tree it was stuck in, "Pretty good kid, I think this fight might actually be a pretty good workout for me."

Naruto righted himself and looked at Zabuza in confusion and anger, "Zabuza? What the hell? Why are you trying to kill me?"

Zabuza chuckled as he held his sword at Naruto, "I'm supposed to be training you kid, how can I do that if I'm not sure what you're capable of in battle? You're going to fight me right here and now, full blast, and if you hold back I'll maim you."

Naruto set into his stance, "Alright fine, but I can't show you everything yet, no matter how you threaten me. But what I do fight with you should like."

Zabuza motioned him to come, Naruto smirked and ran to attack. As he got close he leapt to throw a flying kick but it was blocked by Zabuza's sword. He threw Naruto off by swinging it hard, after sending the boy flying he kicked him hard as a follow-up that sent him into a tree. As he tried to stand Zabuza taunted him, "That's not all you've got is it kid? You seemed tougher when we fought in Wave. What happened to that blonde kid?"

Naruto spit as he made it to his feet, "We're not fighting to the death this time."

Zabuza laughed, "So that's what it is? Fine, if I have to try and cut your head off to see what you're made of then I will. Get ready you gaki." Zabuza ran in and swung his sword at Naruto's head, he ducked at the cost of a few stray hairs on his head. As Naruto launched a counter punch in retaliation Zabuza blocked with the flat of his sword, after the block he kicked Naruto back again and taunted him, "Oh, punched the sword… That probably hurt."

Naruto flexed his right hand, "Nope, not as much as you would think."

Naruto ran back in and jumped to the side of Zabuza's slash, he clapped and placed his hands on the ground forcing a pillar of ground to smash into Zabuza, "Ha! How do you like that Zabuza, didn't see that coming?"

Zabuza stood up and grunted, "I'm gonna go ahead and guess that that was alchemy."

Naruto smirked as he crossed his arms, "Yep, like it?"

Zabuza dusted himself off, "You can do things like that on almost anything can't you?"

Naruto nodded, "If I know what makes something up then I can manipulate it."

'Just like with my mizu bunshin…' Zabuza ran in and attacked again, instead of a slash he planted his sword into the dirt and kicked at Naruto. Naruto blocked the kick with his left arm and pushed off, but in the same motion Zabuza pulled his sword out and tried to cleave Naruto from head to toe. Naruto saw this and had no other option, he lifted his right arm and allowed Zabuza to cut it.

Zabuza had a mini freak-out, 'Damn, damn, damn! I got too into it, I cut the kid's arm off! Wait why is it still attached?" Naruto pushed off and jumped back as Zabuza stopped his assault,

Naruto had a pissed off expression on his face, "Zabuza what the hell? You could have killed me!"

Zabuza was slightly in shock, "Uh gaki… What the hell are you made of? That should have cut your arm clean off."

Naruto heaved a deep sigh, "Damn it Zabuza now I have no choice…"

Zabuza cocked an eye, "No choice for what? What are you saying?"

Naruto looked around, "Are we really alone out here? I can't have this getting spread around, only me and Big Boss know about this."

Zabuza gave a quick scan of his field, "Yeah we're clear, I picked this place because no one comes here. So spill it."

Naruto rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Alright check it out…" Naruto lifted his sleeve and began ripping the bandages off of his arm. Zabuza's eyes widened when instead of flesh he saw the cold hard silver of metal.

Zabuza took a step back, "Kid what the hell is that? Is that your arm?"

Naruto nodded, "Yes Zabuza, it's an advanced prosthetic known as auto-mail, I've had it since I was 6 years old."

Zabuza went wide-eyed, "What did you get into an accident or something?"

Naruto smiled grimly, "If by 'accident' you mean some villagers got a wild hair up their asses and one of them cut my arm off, then yes."

Zabuza felt his rage boil and was about to raise when Naruto grabbed him, "No Zabuza don't worry about it, if I'm not mad about it then you shouldn't be, it's okay."

Zabuza had to take a few deep breaths before he decided to speak again, "So… What can you do with that thing?" Naruto smiled and clapped as he moved his hand over his auto-mail, transforming it to a blade. Zabuza gave it an appraising look, "Not bad. Is that all you can make?"

Naruto shook his head, "No I can do anything I want with it, check this out." Naruto put his hand on his arm and turned it into a syringe looking figure, "I call this my 'shot sniper' technique." Naruto forced an alchemic reaction to the metal in his arm and fired a metal shell from his hand that went into a tree. Zabuza looked on wide-eyed as Naruto put his hand back to normal and rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, it's pretty cool huh? But I have to replace the metal in my arm after every battle I use it in or the structural integrity of my arm will break down."

Zabuza shook himself out of his trance, "Kid why the hell didn't you do that when we fought, if you had done that instead of your wind technique to free Kakashi you might have killed me?"

Naruto rubbed his arm, "I don't really want people to find out about my arm, they already hate me and think I'm a freak, what will they do if I show them that they have a real reason to shun me?"

Zabuza hit the boy over the head, "Gaki, if a village can find a way to hate a kid that is for all intents and purposes handicapped then I sure as hell don't want to live here."

Naruto rubbed his head, 'They hate me for Kyuubi being sealed in me, if they knew that even cutting off a limb won't kill me then who knows what will happen.' He thought to himself.

Zabuza turned around and walked off of the field, "Alright kid, after hearing all of that I need some liquor in me. Training is done, pick it up tomorrow if you want to come back."

Naruto shook his head and smiled at the retreating missing-nin as he began to re-wrap his arm, 'Maybe it won't be so bad… But I still don't want to risk it.'

XxX

Naruto found himself back at the hospital after his short fight with Zabuza to visit Hinata. As he walked through the lobby he caught the glares that the receptionist and a few of the staff gave him, 'And people wonder why I hate the hospital…' As he walked to where he remembered Hinata's room was he almost turned to leave just as he walked in. Team 8 in its entirety was in the room.

As he turned on his heel to leave he was stopped, "Naruto where are you going?"

He noticed that it was the familiar voice of Kurenai, she didn't sound upset and by the fact that Kiba nor Shino were stomping him into the tile floor yet he turned around to face them all, "I was under the impression that I was public enemy number one to the other guys on the team." Kurenai smiled and looked towards the boys.

Kiba shifted in his chair, "Naruto, you just convinced her not to quit, you didn't hurt her, that bastard Neji hurt her." He stood up and Naruto shifted defensively until Kiba grabbed his hand and shook it, "As far as I'm concerned you helped her get some spine."

He gave a big grin as he sat back down. Naruto looked over at the silent Shino, "Well that's Kiba, what do you think Shino? Do you want to kick my ass?"

Shino didn't move as he spoke, "I feel roughly the same as Kiba, you simply inspired her to fight, you didn't give her these injuries, Neji Hyuuga took it upon himself to hurt her. As far as I'm concerned I have no qualms with you Naruto-san."

Naruto exhaled the breath that he didn't know he was holding, "Thank you all of you, you don't know how much it means to me that you don't hate me."

Kurenai looked at the boy with a smile, "Naruto I told you that it wasn't your fault."

Naruto nodded and looked at Hinata, "So how is she? Is she any better?"

Kurenai nodded, "Yes, they took her off of the respirator, she can breathe on her own. They said she would even be waking up soon."

Naruto put on a small smile, "Good, that's a relief. At least that's one less thing to worry about." He looked at Shino and Kiba and gave them a serious look, "I will beat Neji when we fight, I'm going to stomp him out, I swear it… He'll pay for what he's done."

The boys nodded and Kiba put a hand on his shoulder, "Kick his ass man, I'll make sure Hinata will be there to cheer you on."

Naruto nodded and smiled at the canine-ninja as he left the room, "I'll be back when she wakes up."

As he left the hospital he had conflicted emotions of anger and remorse, "I still don't care what they said, it's still my fault, and I will make Neji pay for what he did to her."

XxX

Naruto walked aimlessly around town, his mind was full of things to think about. He was stuck on the events of what had transpired during the preliminary fights, 'How could someone try to kill family like that, he took pleasure in the fact that he was hurting her… That heartless bastard, I might just kill him when we fight, I honestly am not sure I can control myself. This could be like Gato all over again if I'm not careful."

He also took Zabuza's words to thought as he considered how his arm would be received by those close to him, 'How would everyone take it? Would they pity me? I couldn't take it if they did that… Damn it why am I thinking of this?'

As he walked he found himself at the edge of town by the hot springs, "Damn I walked far…" As he contemplated how the hell he carried himself all that way he heard a giggle from the bushes by a fence. As he walked closer he saw a tall white-haired man peeking in the ladies' bath, 'That pervert, he's so dead!' Naruto clapped his hands to the ground and forced a pair of earthen hands to grab the man unexpectedly.

As he looked around in shock he saw a blonde-haired boy with his arms crossed looking pretty peeved, "What are you doing you brat? Let me go, don't you know who I am? I am the great-"

Naruto finished his sentence, "You're the great pervert of Konohagakure, and your ass is toast."

Naruto walked up to the man and stuck his finger in his face, "I don't see why you're so upset. You're peeking on the girls in there, if I was any kind of decent then I'd stop you."

The man laughed, "Boy I am the great Jiraiya the toad sage! And this is not peeping, I'm doing research for my novels."

Naruto gave him a look, "You're a writer?" At seeing his proud nod Naruto was curious, "Well what do you write?" Jiraiya motioned to his chest pocket as he couldn't move to grab it. Naruto reached in and pulled out an orange book that seemed familiar to him, "Icha Ich-…. You're the guy that writes this shit?"

Jiraiya lifted his head in a proud fashion, "So I see you are aware of my work?"

Naruto threw the book at Jiraiya's head, "Hell yes I'm aware of it! My sensei and my nii-san both read this crap religiously!"

Jiraiya laughed in proud fashion, "Your brother? Ah so my genius is appreciated even in the next generation!"

Naruto looked at him in disgust until a devilish smirk played across his face, "Well then… Let me show you just how much your 'genius' is appreciated by them."

As Jiraiya followed the direction Naruto was pointing in he saw a fence. Upon his realization a look of horror came across his face, "No kid, no no no! I'll do anything you want just don't do that!"

Naruto snorted at Jiraiya, "What do you have that I want you perverted old man?"

Jiraiya raised his voice in anger, "Hey gaki! I am one of the 'Sannin,' I'm a ninja of legendary strength. I can teach you many techniques."

Naruto contemplated this for a moment, "You're really that strong?" Upon seeing Jiraiya nod his head furiously he shrugged, "Okay, you win, I won't subject you to any righteous female fury today. Be at Ichiraku Ramen tomorrow morning for our meeting." Jiraiya sighed and nodded as Naruto released him.

XxX

Naruto's day had been very trying and it seemed to not be ending anytime soon as he was greeted upon his arrival at his abode by the weapon-throwing girl from the chunin exams, "Hey… I know you, you're that girl Tenten right?"

Tenten looked at Naruto and gave him a small smile, "Yes, you're Naruto Uzumaki right?"

He nodded and frowned, "You're that Neji kid's teammate, why would you come to my house?"

Tenten looked surprised, "I didn't know you lived here. The girl that beat me, Eiko, she told me to come here about weapons with a better make."

Naruto looked at her and sighed before unlocking his door, "Come on in I guess, I don't know when Big Boss will be back so you might as well wait inside." Tenten smiled at him as she followed him inside. As Tenten took a seat in a solo chair Naruto crashed out on the bigger couch face-first and sighed deeply into a pillow, "So what exactly do you want with Big Boss."

Tenten raised an eyebrow as she slowly deciphered his muffled speech. "Um, well if he makes all of his weapons as well as he made that girl's sword then I might be bringing quite a bit of business his way."

Naruto rolled over to look at her, "So how's my victim at the chunin exams doing today?"

Tenten frowned when she heard that, "You really think you can beat Neji don't you?" Upon seeing his nod she continued, "Neji's a genius, but you, apparently you were the dead-last in your graduating class, why do you think you can win?"

This time Naruto frowned, "Dead-last doesn't mean I'm a failure, dead-last means I just graduated lower than others."

Tenten tried to open her mouth to comment but Naruto lifted his hand to cut her off, "Nothing in the academy prepares you for a real fight, you're not a rookie so you should know that better than all of the genin in my class how little you really learn in school. Everything I really know about fighting I didn't learn in the classroom, I learned it in real-life live-fire situations. In my world if I was the failure that everyone thinks I am, I'd be dead by now."

Tenten felt as if Naruto was being cocky, what had he done or proven that let him speak to her like that? "What makes you think that anything you know is so much more useful than what we can do? What could you have possibly done to make you think that ranking doesn't matter?"

Naruto sat at full attention now, "Ranking means nothing to me. Just because people outrank me in this system of shinobi doesn't mean that I have to respect or acknowledge them as my better until they give me a reason to. Social hierarchy is bullshit, just because you have more money than me, or your family has political pull, or your great-grandfather did some obscure thing fifty years ago that made sure your family is set until the end of time does not give me a reason to line up on the streets and kiss the ground you walk on, fuck that, respect is earned personally; it's the main reason why I don't call my jounin sensei with any honorifics, because I still don't respect that motherfucker."

Tenten put her chin in her hands, "Yeah maybe, but Neji has Byakugan and the Jyuuken. You don't have any powerful moves to beat him with like that. From what we saw you have to get in close to beat him, and that would be suicide."

Naruto smiled at her, "Maybe, but all you guys saw was me beat the crap out of that Oto kid in five minutes. I was never in danger and I never felt compelled to use any of my jutsu."

Tenten blinked, "Never in trouble, but he-"

Naruto cut in, "He hit me with that stupid wind thing right? That was because I let him. When I actually didn't want to be hit I punished his ass before he knew what hit him. You guys never saw me do anything, I just beat the crap out of him because I was pissed. It wasn't a fight, it was a sacrificial slaughter all things considered."

As the door clicked open revealing Jushiro had made his return home Tenten still had arguments to make against Naruto, "Naruto, Neji is way out of your league, what are you going to do when you fight him?"

Naruto gave her a serious look, "I'm gonna squash him like a bug… I'm gonna break his spirit… I'm going to warp his entire world view, and I'm gonna do it in front of the entire village."

Tenten looked at him in near shock, "But he's so much stronger than you."

Jushiro burst out in laughter from the kitchen, as Tenten and Naruto turned to look at him he stopped his laughter, "Why is it that everyone that meets us thinks that the brat is weak until he plants his boot upside someone's head? What the hell does he have to do to get some recognition?"

Tenten looked at the older boy in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

Jushiro grabbed a drink and walked to Naruto's couch to take a seat next to him, "I mean that you're counting him out before you even get to know the first thing about him. All you know is his name, where he lives, and what other people have to say about him, you've just now held a decent conversation with him and even then you still go off of preconceived notions."

Tenten looked down when Naruto interjected, "Big Boss it's not her fault, if you hear everybody say the same thing about someone for years then that's what your first opinion on them will be shaped from. All anyone ever talks about when it comes to me are the bad things, never any good comments, and everyone kisses guys like Neji and Sasuke's asses."

Tenten spoke up, "That's because they're geniuses, the pride of their clans."

Naruto and Jushiro looked at each other before Jushiro spoke to her, "Why?"

Tenten looked stumped, "Why? Because Sasuke is the last Uchiha, one of the strongest clans around with one of the best bloodlines to have. Neji is the most promising talent in the Hyuuga clan for years."

Naruto responded to her, "Okay, but what exactly have they done to get such high praise; the last time I checked being the last of something really doesn't mean anything in the real world. And as for Neji, well let's just say promises can be broken. Until those two actually prove anything to me then I consider them my equals... And they aren't even close to that yet."

Jushiro walked up to the girl, "You know you might want to take that message to Neji when you see him again."

Tenten forgot why she had come until Jushiro got close, "Oh, I'm here because your teammate told me to come to you for a weapon like hers."

Jushiro pondered for a second, "Hmm, nope sorry, can't do it."

Tenten jumped up, "What? Why not? I am going to pay you."

Jushiro chuckled, "Duh, what you think the shit would be free? No, I don't just make weapons for anyone. I only make things for people that I personally deem as a general good person, in this village very few people fit that bill; only the brat, my team, and my sensei are worthy as of now."

Tenten objected desperately, "But I am a good person. Why can't I get a weapon? Is it because my teammate is going to fight your brother in a month?"

Jushiro shook his head, "No that would be petty, and my otouto would be pissed is that was my deciding criteria. I'm not saying you're a bad person, I'm just saying that you need to do some soul-searching."

Tenten looked confused, Naruto tried to clear her confusion, "Wait a month and come back… Tell him what you thought about for the last month, if any real progress was made in the way you see things then he'll talk to you about a weapon."

Tenten nodded and stood to leave the apartment, as she reached the door she turned to find the boys smiling at her. Tenten smiled back and shut the door. Jushiro looked at Naruto and scoffed, "Wow Naruto, way to take me out of the deliberation process, you pretty much guaranteed that she'll get it if she watches you fight Neji."

Naruto chuckled, "Yeah, but she is a good girl though, she isn't a bad person."

The boys heard a knock at the door as Haku walked in, "Hello boys, who was that who just left?"

Naruto cut off Jushiro's answer, "Big Boss's other girlfriend." Jushiro looked at a smirking Naruto with a 'what the fuck is wrong with you look.' Recovering from his shock he took a swing at the blonde boy who ran into his bedroom and locked the door laughing all the way.

Jushiro pounded on the door and was about to break it down again before Haku put a hand on his shoulder and moved him aside. He was about to ask what she was doing before she made a few hand-signs and froze the door before kicking it into pieces. As she walked in she walled up the opening with ice before Jushiro could enter. He just stood waiting outside as the sounds of Naruto begging filled his ears. Begging was followed by agonizing screaming, among the few coherent statements he heard were, 'that's fucked up Haku-chan' and 'my balls are frozen.'

Jushiro just smiled and shook his head, "I fucking love that girl…"

**Another weak chapter by my own personal standards. Again, it is a necessary step that must be taken, however arduous the pace. Almost over my vicious, agonizing, irritating and painful bout with strep throat. But with my luck I'll probably end up with herpes simplex 10 next or some shit like that (God I really hope I'm just kidding about that no joke.).**

**Another week to plow through, let's get it.**

**Kenchi out.**


	16. Dynamite Duumvirate

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did my wallet would have far more than a 20 dollar bill in it… Seriously how the hell can my ass live off of twenty bucks for a month, I'm a 6'2 185 pound MMA fighter; top ramen isn't really a nutritious meal 3 squares a day damn it… And fuck carrots.

**Chapter 16: Dynamite Duumvirate **

Jiraiya had been waiting at Ichiraku Ramen since 8am that morning, at around 9:30 his patience began to run out, "Where the hell is that kid? He was the one who told me to come here." Throughout his grumbling he finally saw an orange outline in the horizon, sauntering over slowly. Jiraiya however didn't appreciate the pace being cut by the demon container, "Hey brat hurry up and get over here, you're burning my daylight, I do have other things to do you know."

Naruto gave Jiraiya a salty look and walked into the ramen stand. As he took a seat Jiraiya noted the proverbial storm cloud over the boy's head, "Gaki what is the matter with you?"

Naruto shivered and gave a sad look at the elder man, "Ero-sennin have you ever had your groin encased in ice?"

Jiraiya took on a pondering look, "Huh… I've had my balls kicked, punched, stepped on, and other things. Nope I can't say I've ever experienced that one though."

Naruto gave Teuchi his order and turned to Jiraiya, "You don't want to… It took 3 hours to get Haku-chan's Hyoton ice off of me. By then I couldn't walk, and I had to use muscle rub on them to get some feeling back, I can still barely walk right."

Jiraiya gave the boy an odd look, "And this Haku-chan is?"

Naruto took a deep breath, "Haku-chan is my niisan's girlfriend, and I said some dumbass things last night which led to my scrote being frozen in ice." Jiraiya patted the boy on his back and gave him an understanding look. Naruto just nodded to the old man and the two sat in understanding silence for the entire meal.

After the meal the two walked to Zabuza's training ground where the swordsman was waiting, "Well look who's back. And who is this?"

Naruto looked at his temporary trainer, "Zabuza this is Jiraiya, Jiraiya this is Zabuza."

The two looked at each other for a long moment before Zabuza spoke up, "Jiraiya? As in the toad sage, one of the sannin, Jiraiya?"

Jiraiya smirked and posed, "So I see my fame reaches even Kirigakure I see. Not that I don't know of you Zabuza Momochi, 'Demon of the Hidden Mist.'"

Naruto cut in, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you both know each other's names, awesome. Now can we get something done here before my balls creep up on me again?"

Zabuza gave him a strange look, "Your balls? What the hell happened to you kid?"

Naruto frowned, "You raised a monster Zabuza, Haku-chan is cruel, I pity Big Boss if he ever makes her mad."

Jiraiya cut in at this point, "Zabuza, I heard you were a Konoha ninja now, but training kids?"

Zabuza scoffed, "Trust me, this isn't some garden variety kid, he might be the toughest kid I've ever met. Besides, his real sensei took off to train someone else that will be in the finals of the chunin exams, which this kid just so happens to be in also."

Jiraiya looked at Naruto who had his arms crossed, "He doesn't seem so tough to me."

Zabuza chuckled, "That's what I thought, then he almost killed me, then he killed my employer bare-handed."

Jiraiya appraised the boy, "You killed someone already? What are you twelve?"

Naruto sneered at him, "Let's just say there's a secret side of me you hope you'll never see."

Jiraiya nodded, "I already know about it." Ignoring Naruto's surprise he walked to Zabuza, "Alright, I'll be teaching this gaki how to use his special powers, what did you have planned?"

Zabuza scratched his head, "I was going to teach him killer instinct, but from what Haku and his brother say he already has it. I was going to teach him a jutsu or two and spar with him the rest of the time."

Jiraiya clapped his hands, "Good, well you have him for now, I'll take him after noon. I'll grab him from here, see you later."

As Jiraiya walked away Naruto yelled, "Hey Ero-sennin where are you going?"

Jiraiya grinned back at the boy, "I need to get my research in, if I'm going to be training you then I need to optimize my time."

Naruto sighed as he walked back to Zabuza, "So what's up Zabuza? What are we doing today, fighting again?"

Zabuza sat in the grass, "No kid not today, I'm pretty sure you know how to turn your killer instinct on." Naruto nodded so he continued, "Well then I'm going to teach you a jutsu or two and then later after you get those down I'll make you fight."

Naruto liked the sound of that, "Alright, so what am I going to be learning?"

Zabuza stood up, "You'll probably like this one, it's very destructive."

Upon hearing the words 'destructive' Naruto lit up in anticipation, "Don't tell me… It's-"

Zabuza cut him off, "Suiryuudan no Jutsu, the water dragon."

Naruto jumped into the air, "Yes! I'm gonna blow everyone's ass away with that one!" Zabuza motioned for Naruto to follow him to a river.

As they arrived Zabuza launched into explanation mode, "Alright brat, now you obviously know that this jutsu makes a dragon out of water that you can send to attack you opponent right?" Naruto nodded as he proceeded, "Well in order to do this technique you need to be near a body of water big enough to draw the dragon from, so if you end up in a place without water, then you can't use it."

Zabuza went through the hand-signs and called the dragon out from the water and began to make it circle around him slowly as he continued his lecture, "With the right motions of your hands and body you can control the direction that the dragon goes into, it also works as a pretty decent chakra control exercise ." Zabuza sent the dragon back into the river as he walked over to the boy, "You're going to have to do these hand-signs to activate the jutsu."

Upon memorizing the signs Naruto jumped on the water and did the signs, "Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!" The effects of the jutsu were not exactly exemplary. At first the head of the dragon surfaced from the water, however that was as far as it went, the dragon exploded in Naruto's face and sent him flying back to shore.

Naruto stood up amid Zabuza's laughter and glared at the man as his laughter subsided, "Whoops, guess I forgot to tell you that that will probably happen when you mess the jutsu up."

Naruto growled at Zabuza, "You could have told me that before I blew myself to hell with my own attack!"

Zabuza began laughing again, "I guess if nothing else you can use it as a suicide jutsu."

Naruto stood up and jumped back on the water, "Fuck you Zabuza, Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu!"

Zabuza's mirth was lost as a towering dragon began to rise out of the water, as he looked down at the blonde boy with an evil grin he heard him talk, "Suicide huh? It was 'suicide' to teach me this move and then be an asshole about it. "

Zabuza's eyes widened, "Kid stop fucking around."

Naruto shook his head and grinned deeper, "Oh no Zabuza, who's fucking around? Kiss the dragon bitch."

With that Naruto sent the dragon at Zabuza who barely dodged the attack, as he landed on the water behind Naruto he punched him in the head, "Damn it brat that move is no joke, it destroys things."

Naruto rubbed his head, "Yeah maybe, but you seem to forget that I'm crazy as hell."

Zabuza grumbled as he walked back to shore, "Whatever, now that you can form the dragon try controlling its movements."

For the next few hours Naruto tried his hand at manipulating the dragon around him with improving results. At the beginning Naruto would either force the jutsu too hard and it would dissipate or he would end up crashing the dragon into himself, Zabuza found this outcome particularly hilarious. After a while however Naruto found that control came far easier than before and even threatened Zabuza with watery violence a few times before Zabuza again cracked him in the head.

By the afternoon Naruto was soaked to the bone, but he felt he had Suiryuudan no Jutsu down to the extent to use it in combat at least. Jiraiya ended up walking up to the river at three in the afternoon. Naruto saw the old man coming as he deactivated the jutsu, "Well now Ero-sennin, what took you so long, I've been ready for a while now."

Jiraiya glared at Naruto, "Don't call me that gaki."

Zabuza saw Jiraiya coming up to the river bank, "Okay well I'm not needed here anymore, I'm gonna go get drunk."

Naruto dead-panned a look at Zabuza, "Wow Zabuza, what a great role-model you are." Zabuza walked off while flipping Naruto the bird. Naruto walked to shore as he kept taunting, "Well due to the events that led to me meeting you, I have to say that the name is appropriate."

Jiraiya grumbled, "Whatever gaki, come here so I can tell you what we're doing today."

Naruto made his way next to Jiraiya bounding on his toes in excitement, "So what are you gonna teach me? Zabuza taught me Suiryuudan no Jutsu so I can only wonder what you can teach me."

Jiraiya smirked as he began his explaining, "I'm going to teach you how to summon."

Naruto looked confused, "Summon? Summon what?"

Jiraiya bit his thumb and went through a few handsigns, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)" After the smoke cleared Naruto saw a human sized frog that opened its mouth to reveal a scroll.

Naruto suddenly had realization all over his face, "Oh summoning! Yeah like that snake asshole in the Forest of Death!"

Jiraiya dropped the scroll he picked up when he heard 'snake asshole,' "Naruto who do you mean?"

Naruto rubbed his chin, "There was this guy that called on giant snakes to fight for him. He attacked my team in the chunin exams, he bit my teammate and left."

Jiraiya stumbled with that information, 'I need to go see Sarutobi-sensei when this is over.'

Naruto took note of the scroll on the ground, "Hey what's the scroll for?"

Jiraiya snapped out of his trance to continue explaining, "Well in order to summon creatures to fight for you a contract must be signed in blood." Jiraiya opened the scroll and revealed all of the signatures.

Naruto looked as he was becoming excited, "Let's do it then Ero-sennin."

Naruto bit his own thumb and coated his fingers in blood as he wrote out his signature on the scroll. As he finished, Jiraiya showed him the hand-signs needed to make the jutsu work. "Alright check it out old man, Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

Out of the smoke popped a small frog, "**Hi there! I'm Gamakichi. Do you have any snacks?**"

Naruto sighed deeply, "No… Sorry, I've got nothing on me."

The toad shrugged as he dispelled himself. Naruto grabbed his hair, "Damn it! All I summoned was a little frog!"

Jiraiya looked at him in thought, 'He summoned one of Gamabunta's sons on his first try.' He walked over and put his hand on Naruto's shoulder, "Naruto, have you ever felt another presence in you? Like another chakra or something?"

Naruto looked up at him, "You mean Kyuubi's chakra right?"

Jiraiya held his surprise in check, "So you know what it is. Have you ever used it?"

Naruto nodded, "Yes, I used it twice already, it feels hot and burning, but that problem was mostly fixed apparently."

Jiraiya took on a pondering pose, "So Naruto, how do you feel most of the time."

Naruto didn't hesitate with his answer, "I feel like I'm always loaded, if you can understand what I'm saying. I feel like even if I use Kage Bunshin I still have too much chakra in me."

Jiraiya and Naruto remained silent for a moment before Jiraiya spoke, "Naruto I need you to call on the Kyuubi's chakra to summon a battle toad."

Naruto looked kind of anxious at first, 'So Kyuubi-chan, can I get a boost?'

Naruto heard his mind speak, "**Sure thing Naruto-kun coming right up.**"

Jiraiya had to jump back from the sudden surge of chakra from the boy, Naruto's eyes turned red and became slitted and a faint red glow surrounded his body, "This isn't as much as there was for the first two times, but it should be enough for summoning, I feel lighter already."

Jiraiya looked astonished, "Kid it doesn't seem to be difficult at all for you to activate your demonic chakra."

Naruto shrugged, "It isn't, I went to Kyuubi after the first time it happened and worked out a deal."

Jiraiya couldn't hide his surprise this time, "You talked to it?"

He nodded, "Yeah Kyuubi's cool. Just a giant misunderstanding, I mean there was a conflict, but let's just say my mind is the worst weapon I can muster."

Naruto heard grumbling in his head, "**I'm still going to get you back for that Naruto-kun.**"

Jiraiya shook his head in disbelief, "Well I was going to make you do things to allow you to call upon that chakra, but since you can use it whenever you want I guess it would be a moot point."

Naruto smiled, "So can I summon now?"

Jiraiya gave him a thumbs up, "Go for it gaki."

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

After a huge puff of smoke covered the whole river Naruto heard a booming voice, "**Who was it that summoned me?**" As the smoke cleared Naruto found himself atop a giant toad with a scar, a yakuza jacket and a pipe.

Naruto took in the massive creature and spoke, "Um, up here… It was me, I summoned you."

Gamabunta took in the small blonde boy on top of his head, "**Very funny runt, there's only one person now with the strength to summon me and you're far too small to be him.**"

Naruto took offense to this, 'Kyuubi-chan he thinks I'm joking around here.'

Naruto heard the voice in his mind again, "**Well then show him what you're made of Naruto-kun.**"

Naruto felt the burst of even more chakra in his system, as did Gamabunta. Naruto noted the change in the toad's demeanor and smirked, "Now what was that about having the strength to summon you?" Gamabunta stood silent as Naruto continued, "Some old pervert named Jiraiya gave me a scroll to sign in order to summon toads, I put a hell of a lot of chakra into summoning you so I'll be damned if you'll be doubting me."

Gamabunta began to laugh, "**You've got spirit you little runt, very well. Tell that idiot Jiraiya that I accept you as a summoner, but only after we have a drink to commemorate.**"

Naruto smiled at the toad, "You've got it Chief Toad." The massive summon chuckled and then dispelled, leaving Naruto to fall in the river. As Naruto dragged himself to shore he grumbled, "Well damn, some warning would've been nice before I fell 60 feet."

As he climbed back on land he saw Jiraiya, "Well good job kid, you summoned Gamabunta on the first day."

Naruto smiled, "Damn right I did, I called the biggest guy out because I'm a badass mother."

Jiraiya laughed, "You're a long way from that level kid, but it's a hell of a start."

Naruto smiled as he laid down, "So now what?"

Jiraiya walked away, "I don't know, I expected you to take quite a while to get this down."

Naruto sprung back to his feet, "What? You didn't have any other plans? You suck!"

Jiraiya laughed as he kept walking away, "Don't worry, if I think you need to learn anything else then I'll come find you."

Naruto groaned and laid back down, "Well at least today was productive…"

XxX

Naruto arrived home that evening to find Jushiro and Haku laying on the couch and watching TV. Naruto took a seat in the single couch and sighed as Jushiro smirked at him, "What's up little buddy? Did you thaw out yet?"

Naruto fake laughed at him, "I swear I still have permafrost on my sackie. You're sweet Haku-chan, but you're mean as hell."

Haku smiled at the boy and pulled her head off of Jushiro's shoulder to speak, "Naruto-kun Zabuza-sama told me you learned Suiryuudan no Jutsu today."

Naruto grinned, "Yes I did, and I'm grateful, that's a destructive jutsu, and Naruto likes destructive jutsu."

Jushiro cut in, "So you finally got someone to train you huh?"

Naruto nodded, "Yep, man I wish Zabuza could've ended up as my jounin sensei. I mean he's crazy as all hell and brutal as they come, but I've learned more from him in two days than I ever learned from Kakashi in over four months."

Jushiro wrapped an arm around Haku and pulled her back to him ignoring her giggles, "Well look at it this way kid, if you kick ass at the chunin exams the way you should, then you'll be promoted and won't have to work with him nearly as much anymore." Haku nodded in agreement.

Naruto shook his head, "Nah, I'd rather you get promoted Big Boss. You've been a genin for years, if you get chunin instead of me then I'll be just fine. Besides, I wouldn't feel right outranking you."

The three broke out in laughter, "Runt, I am going to be promoted this year, they can't possibly screw me over. Not only do I have a rogue jounin kill under my belt, our mission completion rank is undeniable, and after I kick that Temari girl's ass I'm gonna be made."

Naruto stood and walked to the kitchen to get a drink as he sighed, "It happened last year Big Boss."

Jushiro scoffed, "I knew how the village council sees me, even the old man Hokage couldn't get me promoted. It was my own fault though, I beat my opponents too fast. I should've made the fights better."

Jushiro gave Haku a squeeze, "I'm not making that same mistake again, game on."

Naruto grinned at Jushiro as he sat back down, "Well then I guess I'll have to suffer your fate from last year, because I'm gonna stomp Neji Hyuuga's ass into the dirt. There won't be any speculation on the conclusion of my fight."

Haku took on a pondering look, "Hey Naruto-kun, did you go see that Hyuuga girl in the hospital after the preliminaries?"

Naruto took a sip of his drink, "Yeah Haku-chan, I went to see her right after we were done and yesterday too. She's doing okay for now, but I don't want to go see her until I know she's awake."

Jushiro grinned, "Want to have a romantic reunion with your girlfriend huh? I gotcha kid."

Naruto grunted, "Damn it Big Boss, Hinata-chan doesn't dig me like that."

Haku smirked at Naruto, "I didn't hear you say you didn't like her Naruto-kun."

Naruto shifted in his seat, "I don't know you guys… I mean, she's a cool little thing. She's super shy, but I don't mind trying to break her of that. She's nice too, the nicest girl my age that I know. She's tough as nails, and I guess she's kind of cute too." Upon seeing the twin smirks of Jushiro and Haku he took a deep breath and continued, "But the way things are around here I don't know if she'd actually be into me like that, and even if she was she'd end up catching the backlash of whatever ill will I get from the villagers."

Jushiro rolled his eyes, "So… Just kick their asses."

Naruto dead-panned, "Yeah… I don't think that's gonna work this time Big Boss, it would probably make things worse. I mean I know I can and will beat their asses, But Hinata-chan is too nice to do that to civilians or comrades, so she'd just take their bullshit." Naruto looked at his drink, "I couldn't do that to her just because I'm lonely."

Jushiro threw a pillow at Naruto and hit him in the head, "Damn it brat stop being so self-sacrificial. You want her, go get her. You can't just turn her down just because you're scared of what could happen. Man up kid."

Naruto pulled the pillow off of his face, "This is nothing like your relationship with Haku-chan Big Boss. Even if there was some apprehension from the villagers about her, it all clears up the moment anyone talks to her. Hinata-chan will have to deal with all of the baggage that comes with me, everything." He unconsciously put his right arm over his stomach, "There's no way for her to beat that; trying to defend me will fall on deaf ears, and I won't always be there to protect her."

Naruto stood up and walked to his room, placing his new door in the space of his doorway. Haku looked at Jushiro in concern, "Jushiro-kun what is so bad that Naruto-kun doesn't think he can have a relationship?"

Jushiro shook his head, "Again Haku-chan it's not my place to tell you, it is a damn serious thing though. But I mean the kid should at least give it a try, if nothing else he can say he tried to be happy."

Haku nuzzled back into his shoulder, "I hope he trusts me enough to tell me one day, I trust both of you."

Jushiro rubbed her arm, "He does trust you Haku-chan, but if you knew how he lived before I met him then you'd see, he can't just sling information about himself around so freely."

XxX

In the Hokage tower two of the most powerful ninja in the village's history were in a discussion, "I'm telling you Sarutobi-sensei that kid is no normal genin. He's dedicated as hell and he's strong enough to make me flinch. When he first called on the Kyuubi's chakra at will I was shocked, but then he said it wasn't anything near what he's called on before. Then he goes and summons Gamabunta on his second try, it's unbelievable."

Hiruzen took a puff of his pipe with a smile on his face, "You do know that Naruto shares the bounty for Raiga Kurosuki don't you?"

Jiraiya's jaw dropped, "He what? He's only been a ninja for how long?"

Hiruzen chuckled, "About four months, he took him down two months ago."

Jiraiya rubbed his head, "Kakashi let that kid fight one of the 'Seven Swordsmen.'"

Hiruzen laughed loudly, "Actually he fought Zabuza too on the same mission, he just didn't end up killing Zabuza. And Kakashi isn't who he shares the bounty with."

Jiraiya looked shocked, "Who does he share it with? Is it that Uchiha kid? I heard he was pretty skilled, but that guy seems way above their level."

Hiruzen shook his head, "No not him, he shares it with Jushiro Moyomoto; Jushiro is Naruto's caretaker, a brother figure and trainer if you will."

Jiraiya sat in a chair, "That guy has got to be some kind of jounin to do that."

Hiruzen smirked, "Actually Jushiro-kun is just 3 years older than Naruto himself… And he's a genin too." Jiraiya almost fell out of his chair,

"That kid can kill a top-flight missing ninja and he's just a genin?"

Hiruzen frowned, "He shouldn't be… Last year at the chunin exams he made it to the finals, he even won the entire tournament. His fights were incredibly quick, he didn't even take much damage until the final fight and even then he barely hurt himself."

Jiraiya put his hand on his chin, "What happened? Why didn't he get promoted?"

Hiruzen took a long puff from his pipe, "The council and the village doesn't really look too fondly on young Naruto. When Jushiro first arrived he became Naruto's guardian and primary trainer, he taught the boy how to fight off threats and the basics of being a ninja, he pretty much negated the village's negative effects on his education with the help of his genin squad."

Jiraiya took this in as Hiruzen continued, "However for helping Naruto so thoroughly they were almost blacklisted by the council and their careers were almost stalled. It took Naruto telling them all to focus on themselves instead of him for once. They got more high level missions after Naruto broke off his training with them; this placated the council, but by then Naruto was talented enough to warrant the break."

Jiraiya grabbed the arms of the chair roughly, "So that boy, that can kill an extremely dangerous missing-nin with the help of a genin, was held back because he tried to help a little boy?" Hiruzen nodded grimly as Jiraiya sighed, "And people wonder why Tsunade won't return here…"

Jiraiya perked back up, "Oh yes, the gaki told me he fought Orochimaru in the Forest of Death and lived."

Hiruzen nodded, "Yes, apparently he's planning an attack on the village, he also planted his mark on the young Uchiha."

Jiraiya rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Damn it, that snake… I hope you're ready for him old man."

Hiruzen smirked, "I have a few tricks up my sleeve. After all Jiraiya, I am still the Hokage, I'm not dead yet."

**Another short chapter by my standards, still weak though. Next chapter is the start of the chunin exam finals woot woot! My ass needs to actually go to class for once, I'm so glad that my parents don't get progress reports when I'm in college, slacking is awesome. Expect the pace that I put out chapters to pick up right after this one, I have make up work from my encounter with strep throat, by the way fuck strep throat, that shit is painful.**

**Comments, thoughts, well wishes, money telegrams and all other forms of compensation for my awesomenicity are welcome as always.**

**Kenchi out**


	17. One Step Closer

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did then I would have picked a way more kick ass way to spend my time than writing for a website that shows other people warping my vision to their delight. If I did own one of them I would have a way more productive hobby, like recreating the mountain of cocaine from Scarface and getting my sniff on for 3 weeks straight, you know what I'm saying?

**Chapter 17: One Step Closer**

Naruto spent the rest of the month working with Zabuza. The spars were brutal, but Naruto's ingenuity in combat and his ability to take a beating impressed Zabuza to the extent that he taught Naruto a second jutsu so go with Suiryuudan no Jutsu. Eventually Zabuza instructed Naruto to take the last three days before the finals to rest and think about the battle at hand. Naruto had still yet to see Hinata as he was still hesitant to go to the hospital.

By the time he had gotten up the nerve to go see her he found she had already been released to return home, and Naruto really wasn't willing to try the Hyuuga clan as of now, especially considering his opponent in a matter of days.

In an attempt to relax he headed down to Ichiraku Ramen. As he arrived he found the stand fuller than it had ever been. He saw Ayame moving between customers taking in their money, however quite a few didn't have ramen with them. Being a curious demon-container he walked up to her and began to ask questions, "Hey Ayame-neechan what's going on here? I mean I know that your ramen kicks ass and everything, but this is ridiculously busy."

Ayame smiled at the boy, "Hi Naruto-kun, we're so busy because dad decided that with all of the people coming in for the chunin exams he should take bets on the matches to make some extra money. Pretty good idea huh?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah it actually is." He quickly put on a frown, "*sigh* I probably already know the answer, but what exactly are the odds on me to beat Neji Hyuuga?"

Ayame walked over to the counter, "Hey dad, Naruto-kun wants to know the odds on him in the Neji Hyuuga fight tomorrow."

Teuchi put the money down and picked up a chart, "Uh hold on… Neji Hyuuga vs. Naruto Uzumaki… Uzumaki is a 10,000 to 1 underdog to win." The old man shot an apologetic look to Naruto, "Sorry kid."

Naruto took a deep breath, "Well honestly that's better than I thought it would be." Naruto shrugged and reached into his pocket, "Fine, more money for me, put 5000 on Uzumaki to win, if people don't believe in me then I guess I'll just have to take their asses for everything."

Teuchi smiled and made markings on his chart as he took Naruto's money, "Someone's pretty confident huh?"

Naruto grinned at him, "Of course I am, I'm awesome. If you like the feeling of a full wallet then you should bet on me too."

Teuchi chuckled at that, "You know I might just do that."

Naruto smirked, "I've never lost a fight before, people just don't take that into account when they talk about me."

Ayame gave the boy a hug, "I already bet on you Naruto-kun, I know you can win."

Naruto nodded, "You know it. Neji Hyuuga doesn't stand a chance." Naruto gave her a hug back before walking away, "You should have put it all on me Ayame-chan, you'd have enough for a serious shopping spree." With that Naruto took off into the city.

XxX

Naruto found himself deep in the heart of the city after his trip to Ichiraku Ramen. He wandered aimlessly as if all of his thoughts for the past month had hit him all at once. Eventually he found himself being called to on the streets by an unknown source. Naruto recoiled as he whipped his head around looking for the source; after being attacked repeatedly Naruto began staying on his guard at all times, especially when in the heart of Konoha.

"Naruto!" Naruto found the source of the shouting from inside a BBQ shop to his right. As he turned he saw Ino waving to him to get his attention, "Hey Naruto, come over here!"

Naruto internally shrugged as he walked over to the blonde girl, "Hey Ino, what's up, you need something?" Ino dragged him inside the restaurant to a booth with her team, "I got him you guys, I knew I would."

Naruto noted the extra person in attendance on this day, "What's up Sakura-chan? You're here with these guys too?"

Sakura nodded, "Yep, Ino caught me too, so how are you Naruto?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head, "I'm one-hundred percent ready to beat Neji Hyuuga into the dirt tomorrow."

Ino tapped him on the shoulder, "You think you can beat the number one genin Neji Hyuuga?"

Naruto sighed, "Again with the 'number one' shit… I know I can beat him because anyone can beat anyone else when given the chance. I want it far more than he does, and that will make results for me come fight time."

Chouji stopped eating for a second to look at Naruto, "Naruto why do you want to beat Neji so bad?"

Naruto shook his head, "You weren't there… He hurt Hinata so bad, and the guy is a total douchebag. When I kick his ass tomorrow I'll be doing everyone he's ever met a favor."

Shikamaru groaned, "It's so troublesome… fighting in this stupid contest tomorrow, I have to fight Shino, not really looking forward to that."

Naruto chuckled, "Well as enlightening as this meeting has been, I need to go get my mind right for tomorrow."

Sakura stood to stop him, "Naruto, what have you been doing for the last month?"

Naruto turned around with a smile, "Ever since Kakashi ditched us I've been doing what I've always done, found my own way to train, and I have to say it's been going pretty good." Sakura gave him a small smile as he walked over to her, "So I guess that you took Eiko-chan's advice from before and tried to learn a specialty?"

Sakura nodded, "I've been training with Kurenai-sensei since the day after the preliminaries, she said I have an aptitude for genjutsu so I should try that."

Naruto patted her on the shoulder, "That's great Sakura-chan. Maybe the next time we fight something you can destroy its mind with a jutsu so I don't get snake brain all over myself."

As she laughed at that, Naruto walked out while waving back at the group. Ino looked at the area Naruto once stood, "Hey Sakura, is Naruto serious? Does he really think he's strong enough to fight Neji Hyuuga?"

Shikamaru answered instead, "No Ino, Naruto knows he's strong enough to beat Neji Hyuuga."

XxX

Naruto arrived home early in the evening, the festival before the final round of the chunin exams was that night but he didn't really feel like going out, bad experiences with festivals added on to the thoughts of the next day were mounting in his head. He realized that Jushiro and Haku were not around, probably out at the festival in question. Sighing as he made his way back to his room he stood in the center of his room, 'Well I might as well practice activating Kyuubi's power.'

Naruto shut his eyes, upon opening them the blue hue they normally appear to be were slitted and red, 'That's what I'm talking about.' Looking at his hands he clinched his fists, 'Neji Hyuuga is screwed tomorrow.'

XxX

Naruto awoke early and looked into Jushiro's room to find him unconscious and sprawled out across the bed, "Dumbass Big Boss…" Naruto got ready for his big day; showering, brushing his teeth, etc. But as he returned to his room to get dressed he disregarded the usual attire of a white t-shirt with orange vest and blue pants. He found himself in black pants and a black sleeveless shirt, after wrapping his arm up he looked back into his closet to find one more thing, a red cloak he was given by Eiko for his last birthday. Naruto smiled as he looked at himself in the mirror, "Well I guess it was time for a change after all."

Looking at his clock he found that he had time to burn as he set out that morning for the exam stadium. As he looked at the town as he saw people just beginning their day he smiled to himself, 'This is why I want these people to see me for myself. Just moments like this where I can see people being kind and civil, this is what I want.' Naruto walked all the way to Team 7's training ground and exhaled loudly, "Kami I hope I get promoted today so I never have to come back here again!"

As he finished his rather loud proclamation Naruto heard a small 'eep' from one of the trees around the field. Naruto smiled and shook his head, "Hinata-chan you can come out you know. I said before that I won't bite… Unless you want me to."

Naruto laughed to himself as he saw Hinata reveal herself with a blush already on her face, "Gomen Naruto-kun, I just came over and heard you yell so I came to see what was wrong."

Naruto walked up to her with a big smile on his face, "Well now. You didn't stutter that time. Does that mean you're actually getting used to me?"

Hinata blushed as he came close to her, "Kurenai-sensei said you came to see me when I was in the hospital, thank you Naruto-kun."

Naruto's smile disappeared, "I'm sorry I didn't come by too much, I just couldn't take seeing you like that, especially since it's my fault you were like that."

Hinata shook her head furiously, "No it wasn't your fault Naruto-kun. Y-you were the reason I fought in the f-first place."

Naruto looked down at the ground, "I know, that's why it was my fault… If I had shut up and not egged you on to fight then you would never have had to go to the hospital. He almost killed you Hinata-chan, and I'm the guy that sent you off to fight him."

Hinata didn't know what to say to him, he was convinced that he was the catalyst for her injuries, "Naruto-kun no. It wasn't your fault… I went into the chunin exams to see if I could change, to see if I could be m-more like you."

Naruto looked up in surprise, "More like me? Why would you want to be more like me?"

She smiled at his confusion, "Naruto, back in the academy you were so sure of yourself; you never gave up no matter how hard the lessons were for you, you always gave your best at everything. Even when you did fail, you held your head up, you were proud even in failure. I always admired that about you."

Hinata began to blush as Naruto gave her a look of disbelief before he finally broke out in a small smile, "Thank you Hinata, you have no idea how much words like that mean to me. I see what I have to do now. I'm going to win, to show these people that nothing is concrete and absolute. I'm going to win for you."

Naruto turned to run as Hinata stood in place. Naruto made it a few feet before turning around, "You know Hinata, I always thought you were kind of weird, dark, and really shy."

Hinata lowered her head, "Oh… I see."

Naruto shook his head and walked back to her and lifted her head back up with his finger on her chin, "But you know something? I think I like girls like you."

Naruto gave her a soft kiss on her lips before turning and running back away, leaving her a blushing wreck, "That was for luck today! We all know how much I need it!" Hinata just stood in place long after Naruto had gone.

Eventually Kiba came up to her, "Hey there you are Hinata, why'd you move? It's time to go watch the fights." Kiba waved a hand in front of her face, "Hello… Hinata?" Akamaru barked and Kiba raised an eyebrow, "Naruto? What did he do to her? I think she's broken."

XxX

Naruto arrived in the arena to find it full to capacity. As he took in the aesthetics of the stadium he noted a very distinct absence, "Hey, where the hell is Sasuke?"

Jushiro walked up to Naruto and ruffled his hair, "Your Uchiha teammate didn't show up yet, he's the only one not here."

Naruto chuckled, "Maybe he was afraid of me, I am awesome after all." As he laughed at his own joke Eiko and Blank walked over.

Eiko took note of Naruto's attire and squealed before giving him a hug, "Oh Naruto-kun you finally wore the cloak I gave you!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Yep I sure did, I thought it would be very fitting for me to bring something new since I'm gonna show this entire town just how great I am."

Eiko put up her fist, "Well I guess I'll just have to bring you back down to Earth in the final round then huh?"

Naruto almost objected before Blank patted him on his head, "Don't lose to that Hyuuga chump kid, or I'll kick your ass myself." Naruto swatted his hand off, "I never lose Blank, and I'm glad we're going on first, I love stealing the show." Blank shook his head before walking away.

A man with a backwards bandanna hitae-ate stood in front of the genin with a senbon in his mouth, "Alright pay attention, I'm your proctor for the finals, Genma Shiranui."

Shikamaru spoke up, "What happened to Hayate?"

Genma flinched slightly, "Don't worry about that. This will be much like the preliminary round; you fight until your opponent surrenders, is incapacitated, or dies. I reserve the right to stop any fight whenever I deem it fit to do so and my rule is final."

Pausing to let the kids hear the crowd gathered around them he smirked, "This is your show. Show these people what you've got." As the crowd roared he stepped forward, "Alright, Naruto Uzumaki and Neji Hyuuga please step forward, the rest of you go wait in the balcony until it's time for you to fight."

As the other genin filed out Blank, Eiko, and Jushiro gave Naruto gestures of encouragement. Shikamaru gave him a short smile and Shino gave him a nod, Naruto interpreted the nod as 'kick his ass ragged Naruto' and he smirked and nodded back. As he and Neji took their starting positions across from each other Naruto thought back to his fight with Hinata and gritted his teeth.

Neji saw this and smirked, "What's the matter? Are you realizing that you have no hope of defeating me here and you finally understand that it is your destiny to be beneath me?"

Naruto let out a bitter chuckle, "No… I was just wondering, how many ways I can finish you off here today, I came up with six different endings for this fight, none of them have you winning." Neji's smirk turned into a sneer as he took his stance.

XxX

The Sandaime Hokage sat in his box with the Kazekage as they watched the arena. The Kazekage turned to Hiruzen, "The Hyuuga against young Uzumaki? Surely this match will be short."

Hiruzen chuckled, "You may think so Kazekage-sama, but Naruto has a knack for surprises. I expect this to be no different today."

Ino, Chouji and Sakura sat in the stands watching the center as Neji and Naruto faced off with one another. While Chouji sat munching on a bag of chips Ino sighed, "Naruto really thinks he can win here. I'll agree that after what I saw he's not as weak as I thought, but this is Neji Hyuuga, everyone agrees that he's the best genin in the village, Naruto was at the very bottom of our class. He can't win here, Neji is on a different level."

Sakura looked at Naruto standing still with a look of focus, "I don't know anymore Ino, since the day we were assigned teams he's been… strong. He doesn't seem weak at all, and when he says he's going to win he's dead serious about it." The girls looked back into the stadium as Genma moved towards the two.

Kiba and Hinata found their seats just as Genma began walking towards the boys. As he sat he heard two men talking, "Man I put all I had on that Hyuuga kid to win this one, the other kid is such a long shot to win. He doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell."

Kiba chuckled to himself, 'I used to think that too, but now I'm not sure anymore.' He looked over at Hinata, "You ready to see Naruto kick your cousin's ass?" Hinata blushed at the mention of Naruto's name but she smiled and nodded.

XxX

As Genma got close he spoke, "Matchup 1 of the final round; Naruto Uzumaki vs. Neji Hyuuga, are you ready?"

Neji smirked again, "You cannot win, it is your fate to lose to me."

Naruto threw off his cloak and set into his own stance, "I'm going to break you."

Genma could sense the malicious intent rolling off of Naruto, "Alright, begin!" He leapt out of their way as the crowd roared.

Naruto threw a kunai at Neji as he dodged and saw Naruto rush in to attack head-on. As he got close he jumped in with a flying knee that Neji ducked and swayed away from. Naruto growled as he loaded up his right to swing. Neji saw this and shot his hand out to make contact while Naruto was loading up. Naruto saw this and dropped down to his right side to throw a low kick to mess with Neji's momentum.

As Neji jumped back to dodge the low kick he rushed back in to begin his barrage of finger jabs and palm thrusts.

XxX

Kiba stood up and shouted, "No you idiot get out of there!" Hinata took a deep breath in concern as the attack began.

XxX

Naruto heard Kiba's shout and smirked inwardly. As Neji began his assault Naruto brought up his right arm to block every attack Neji threw. As Neji finished his attack after about a dozen strikes to Naruto's arm he jumped back and smiled smugly, "I may not have hit you anywhere vital, but your right arm will no longer be an issue in this fight."

Naruto faked an injury to his arm until his smile could no longer be hidden, "Yeah you'd think so wouldn't you?"

Naruto used his 'injured' hand to wave at Neji. Neji looked astonished, "How did you do that? You shouldn't be able to move that arm." Naruto set back into a stance and motioned for Neji to continue the fight. Neji growled and the two met again to fight in the center of the stadium. Neji shot his right arm out for a palm strike, Naruto countered with a push kick to his wrist and tried a follow through right punch.

Neji again tried to disable the right arm but nothing happened as Naruto sunk his fist into Neji's body sending him sliding backwards holding his body. Neji looked up at Naruto with his Byakugan blazing, "I hit your arm in all the right places! Why can you not only move it, you can still fight with it?"

Naruto grinned, "Because my arm is tough. Made from the best stuff on Earth."

Naruto ran back in to attack as the crowd roared in approval of his counter to the Jyuuken.

XxX

Ino looked at the fight in awe, "Is that Naruto? He actually came up with a gameplan to fight back against the Hyuuga style."

Sakura nodded, "He said he was going to win, I actually think he can do it."

XxX

Naruto rushed Neji who had to make some distance to form a plan, Naruto made his favorite hand-sign and brought out six clones to help him fight. Naruto sent his clones in first to fight. Neji smirked, 'This academy level trick? He really is a dead-last.' Neji said this because he had not seen Naruto use Kage Bunshin before, Naruto had only used one jutsu during the preliminary bouts and he refrained from using alchemy, as far as everyone else was concerned he was a mystery.

As the clones closed in Neji realized his strategic error, the clones actually had their own chakra system, however it was far too late to begin his own attack as he was forced to slip the clones' own choreographed assault.

As the clones attacked they rushed in pairs, their strategy became clear just as Neji, in an effort to dodge a double attack, jumped in the air. They had been waiting for that opening, as the clones smirked the remaining four clones surrounding the fray went through their signs and took aim at Neji, "Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!" Neji found himself propelled in the air by a combination gust of wind.

As he looked down before his descent he saw the real Naruto run to his clones who then tossed him up to meet Neji in mid-air. Naruto smirked as he brandished a kunai and threw it at Neji. Neji rotated his body to prevent contact and fell toward the airborne Naruto, with a strike to the head the Naruto disappeared in smoke. As he prepared to plan his landing he felt something on his back, he turned to see Naruto grabbing his shoulders with his feet planted in his back.

As they fell Naruto pushed off of Neji's back, hard. Forcing him to the ground that much faster. Naruto landed cleanly while Neji made contact face-first with the ground as Naruto looked at the dust cloud kicked up by Neji's body he spoke, "Delta Formation"

As the crowd was shocked silent Naruto looked at the dust cloud, 'No, it's not over yet… That was way too easy.' Naruto's fears were confirmed as he heard popping within the cloud.

As the dust cleared he saw Neji Hyuuga looking at him intently, no worse for wear other than a little dirt. "That was actually an impressive attack, far more than I expected for you."

Naruto growled, "How did you get up from that? You should be out cold."

Neji dusted off his arm, "Trade secret." Naruto grinned at him. As they retook their stances Naruto made more Kage Bunshin and surrounded Neji once more. As Neji took a gaze at his assailants he grunted. Naruto made a slight motion as all of his clones jumped in to attack, all leading with their right hand. Neji simply smirked, "Thank you for getting in range, Hakke Shou Kaiten (Eight Trigrams Heavenly Spin )!"

Neji began spinning while expelling his chakra outwards in order to prevent Naruto and his clones from completing their attack. The force of the spin forced the clones to dispel and sent the real Naruto flying backwards in a heap. Naruto grunted as he tried to rise, "What the hell was that?"

As he reached his feet and looked up he saw Neji in his face once again in an odd stance, "This match is over, you are in my range, Hakke Rokujuu Yonshou (Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms)!"

Neji pounded Naruto all over his body with finger thrusts and palm strikes until he left him collapsed on the ground. Neji chuckled as he walked away, "You can call this match proctor, he won't be getting up."

Genma refrained from moving as he saw Naruto begin to pick himself up. Neji turned around to see Naruto standing again with a smile on his face, "That actually hurt quite a bit."

Neji scoffed, "Stay down failure, Kaiten!"

The rotation didn't catch Naruto by surprise but thanks to Neji's previous attack he couldn't move well. The ensuing attack forced Naruto to try and block with his only useable appendage, his right arm. The rotation tore into Naruto's battle-wrappings as they ripped from his arm. Naruto was once again sent flying, but as the crowd began to break into talk about how Naruto was done and how the battle was over a cry went out amongst the audience.

"He's getting up again!"

Neji's eyes twitched in annoyance as he saw Naruto pull himself to his feet, "Kami I'm so sick of that move."

Neji snapped at Naruto, "Why do you keep standing? All of your chakra is sealed off, you cannot fight me any longer. It was your destiny to lose to me, stay down."

Naruto spit on the ground, "Whatever, Hinata didn't quit, so why should I? What are you gonna do? Put me in the hospital too?"

Neji turned his nose up, "A failure will remain as such, fate has decreed people like you to always remain below those that are gifted."

Naruto shook his head, "Man, you're actually pretty tough in a fight, too bad when it comes to life you're such a pussy."

Neji flared his Byakugan, "What did you say?"

Naruto didn't waver, "I said you're a pussy. You have no reason to have such a morbid world view, YOU'RE RICH! Your clan is loaded! You never have to want for anything. What in the hell could have happened to a spoiled little rich kid like you to fuck you up so badly?"

Neji shook in anger before he sighed, "I'll tell you why fate is absolute." Neji took off his hitae-ate and told the story of the Hyuuga clan and the caged bird seal. He told the entire arena about Kumo's kidnapping attempt, their outrage and the sacrifice of Neji's father to satiate their demands. At the end of his story the stadium was silent, "Now do you see? Because of this seal I will never be free. You have no idea what it's like to have a curse like this, a burden that you can never rid yourself of."

Naruto chuckled loudly, his chuckles soon became loud raucous laughter. Neji again became enraged, "What is so funny!"

Naruto's laughter subsided as he took on a hard look, "Oh yeah, I actually know what that's like. To have the odds against you from the day you were born, to have a terrible curse put on your head just because you were born in the wrong place at the wrong time, yeah I understand."

He took on a bitter smirk, "But so what? Who cares?"

Neji gritted his teeth, "What are you talking about?"

Naruto looked down at his right arm, the tattered bandages were beginning to slip off, 'Damn it… I might as well…'

Naruto looked back at Neji, "You think you've had it rough? People didn't beat you or try to kill you on a regular basis for your curse. You were never left all alone and blacklisted by people you'll never know for your curse. People didn't tell children to stay away from you because of your curse. Other than you being subservient to a few members of your clan you really don't have a big case, after all… No one ever tried to dismember you."

XxX

Jushiro's eyes widened in the box as realization took over, "Oh no way… He's actually going to do it? Here? Now? In front of everybody!"

Eiko and Blank walked up to Jushiro, "Jushiro-kun what are you talking about? What's going on?"

Jushiro shook his head, "You guys ready to see some fucked up shit?"

This got the attention of everyone in the balcony

XxX

Neji recoiled for a moment before regaining his defiance, "What are you talking about? How could you ever know any of this?"

Naruto laughed bitterly, "I guess I do have to show you if you won't take my words at face value." Naruto reached up to the top of his right shoulder and began ripping his wrappings from his body. Neji's eyes went wide as he saw what he expected to be skin take on an unnatural and metallic appearance. As he finished ripping off the bandages he lifted his arm for the whole stadium to see.

Naruto eyes glazed over as he let the people take in his auto-mail, "This is the reason your Jyuuken wouldn't affect my arm. This is my reward for just staying alive." Neji was speechless, even Genma allowed the senbon to fall from his mouth as Naruto continued, "I lost my arm at the hands of vengeful and stupid people on my sixth birthday, October tenth. This, I guess, was my gift for not dying that night. A constant reminder of the burden that I have to bear, day in and day out."

XxX

Responses around the stadium were buzzing, people could not believe it. Among the villagers responses varied, some were disgusted that there were those that would go so far in their vendetta against the boy, some actually smirked at his misfortune.

Sakura was stunned silent. Her teammate, the useless Naruto Uzumaki had been operating as a functioning shinobi with a fake arm for their entire time around one another. "Naruto… Didn't have… An arm?" At first she was enraged at the fact that he had told people it was an old nagging injury for years… But then she realized that he hadn't actually lied to anyone, it was a nagging injury, his ARM was missing. This was the near death moment he had told them of, the gate he spoke of showed itself to him just as he was about to die from the loss of blood from his arm.

Ino looked as if she was going to cry. She couldn't even imagine Naruto getting him arm cut off by anyone in the village, but he had the proof hanging in the air for all to see. Suddenly his entire time in the academy made sense; he always kept it wrapped up no matter what, he always had bad chakra control right up until the end, how can you mold chakra properly with one hand? She looked at herself only to find herself shaking.

Chouji stopped eating, suddenly chips didn't seem so appetizing as the thought of Naruto losing his arm as a little boy ran through his head. Chouji never really hated Naruto at all, he found him kind of strange, but that wasn't so bad, but now he had a respect for Naruto's toughness.

Kiba looked at the people in the crowd with no small amount of hostility, how could anyone try to cut off a child's arm no matter what the reason. He saw Naruto in a more respectful light as not only did he not show open hatred to all around him, but he became a ninja to protect the same fools who tried to end his life.

Hinata actually was driven to tears. She had seen for years the way he had been treated by people of the village; she saw the glares, sneers as he passed, all of the injustices right up to his education in the academy. He mostly let it roll off of his back as if it wasn't a big deal, and kept going forward. She now knew that he was far stronger than her, he was far stronger than anyone she knew. Losing his arm and still getting up and having a bright attitude, that was why she was attracted to him.

Asuma had bitten down on his cigarette. How could anyone have let this happen? Didn't his father give Naruto ANBU Guards to keep something like that from happening? He wanted to shout to the top of his lungs, he wanted to tell off the entire village and leave again. If the citizens of this place could cut off a six year-old's arm and carry on as if nothing happened then they were lower than he ever thought they would be. Looking over at Kurenai and seeing the look in her eyes he could tell she felt the same.

Jushiro looked around the balcony at the genin among him. His team was shocked, Blank was stunned, but Eiko had tears in her eyes after hearing that. Shikamaru was frozen on his feet just staring at Naruto down below and Shino didn't move but the raise of his eyebrow showed some reflection of the situation. Temari just stared at Naruto, he couldn't distinguish what she felt, but Gaara… He could sense the excitement rolling off of him, he wanted to fight Naruto now after that story.

XxX

Naruto put his arm back down, "The only ones left alive that know of what happened are the Hokage, my niisan, and a family that lives on the border of the Land of Fire." Neji was stuck in place as Naruto rolled his right arm, "And now you'll lose to me. The game is over."

Neji snapped out of his trance, "You still can't call on chakra to fight. You will still lose to me."

Naruto chuckled, "No I don't think so." He closed his eyes as a deep pressure filled the field, as he opened his eyes they were now red and slitted, "Let's finish this." Naruto threw a handful of shuriken at Neji. He simply pulled out a kunai to deflect them. As he did this he heard a clap as his attention came back to Naruto.

Naruto dragged his left hand across his right to form his blade-arm, "Like it? This is my special skill." Neji looked on in awe, "What manner of jutsu is that?" Naruto smirked, "Not a jutsu, alchemy." He ran in at a much faster speed than before and began hacking away with the blade. Neji was barely holding him off with the kunai, 'This manner of attack is brutal! He's swinging to kill!'

Naruto kept swinging away at Neji, "Thank Zabuza Momochi for this. That crazy bastard made me fight him like this just to live for the last month." Neji tried to attempt another rotation until Naruto trapped one of his arms, "No more of that spinning crap today, I'm sick of it."

Neji grunted in effort, "Well what do you plan to do? The moment you let go I'll spin, no matter how fast you are you won't get out of my range."

Naruto pondered, 'Well, I've always wondered if this would work for me…' "Yeah, you see I thought about that…" Naruto lifted his free left hand and began making one-handed hand-signs to Neji's horror. Naruto grinned, "Fuuton: Daitoppa!" With his free hand Naruto kicked up a massive gust that sent Neji flying away from him. Naruto looked at his handiwork, "I love you Haku-chan!"

XxX

Jushiro burst out in laughter, "Where the hell did he get that from, Haku-chan? Oh man, that's the best thing I've seen all day!"

Temari was astonished, "What the hell? A one-handed hand-sign? How did he do that?"

Jushiro looked at his future opponent, "Remember his lack of an arm with flowing chakra issue for years? Well he learned how to do a few jutsus while he had one good arm, lucky for him that easy-ass move doesn't take much control, and he does it so much he knows how to mold the chakra by heart."

Sakura and Ino looked on in amazement, Ino pointed out, "Did Naruto just do that one-handed?"

Sakura nodded, "Uh huh… I guess he really meant what he said about his skill."

XxX

Neji stood up groggily to stare at the boy, as he made it to his feet he heard another clap and felt the ground shake, as a shadow formed behind him he turned to see a hammer forming from the earth. Neji jumped aside just as the hammer hit the ground only to find a wall forming in the path of his jump. Kicking off of the wall and landing on his feet he saw Naruto running forward with his hand cocked back to attack and glowing.

Neji began his rotation, "I will not lose here!"

As the two made contact and the attack exploded a voice shot out over the noise, "You already did!"

As the smoke cleared the crowd saw Neji climb out of a crater with Naruto still laying within. As he looked down he deactivated his Byakugan, "It's like I said, a failure will always be a failure." Neji heard a faint clap before a fist of rock came from the ground and punched him into the air, Naruto appeared above him and grabbed his collar to throw him back to the ground, hard. As Neji hit he felt his ribs break as Naruto landed on him with his knee, his blade at Neji's throat.

Naruto hovered over Neji breathing evenly, "You lose Hyuuga."

Genma walked up to the two and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, "Neji Hyuuga is unable to continue… The winner of match one: Naruto Uzumaki… The Fullmetal Alchemist."

**Ohhh…. Tadow tadow how you like me now? Now that that's done I need a burger and some medicine… Fucking winter… I'm going to CVS.**

**Do what you feel, I don't really care… I'm sick as fuck.**

**Kenchi out**


	18. Flexing the Rules

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, because of this fact if I actually do come up with prosthetic limbs that work as well as auto-mail I'd probably get my ass sued. I wouldn't call it auto-mail, but I would still get sued for it. Ain't that a bitch? How's anyone supposed to have any self-esteem anymore?

**Chapter 18: Flexing the Rules**

Naruto walked over and picked up his cloak, putting it back on his person when he was grabbed. As Genma raised Naruto's hand he wasn't entirely sure how people were taking his victory over Neji. It was decisive enough that no one could say anything about it, but he could tell that no one expected half of what happened here. He was also slightly miffed that when Genma grabbed him he raised his auto-mail arm.

Naruto looked around the arena as people began chattering over the fight. He was trying to pick up some of the conversation until something caught his mind. As he turned to Genma he raised an eyebrow, "Naruto Uzumaki, 'The Fullmetal Alchemist?'"

Genma shrugged, "What? It's your nickname."

Naruto's eyes went wide, "What? I'm picking my nickname. I could come up with something better than that."

Genma smirked, "Sorry kid, you don't get to pick your own nickname in this line of work. And what's wrong with Fullmetal Alchemist? You use alchemy and that thing on the right side of your body sure isn't made of plastic."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Who came up with that stupid name anyway?"

Genma smirked and pointed to the Hokage's box. Naruto looked up to see Hiruzen waving at him with a grin. Naruto gritted his teeth, "Damn it old man! That's not cool!"

Genma patted him on the shoulder, "Yep, he made it official after you won, if you ever go into the bingo books then that's the nickname you'll have." Naruto grumbled as he walked to the genin box to wait for the next round.

As he reached the box he looked around as Jushiro walked up and ruffled his hair, "Fullmetal Alchemist huh?"

Naruto swatted his hand aside, "Whatever, it's better than 'the Armory Alchemist.'" Jushiro slapped Naruto in the back of the head, "Ow, you bastard!"

Jushiro smirked, "What are you gonna do about it twerp?"

Naruto walked to the edge of the balcony, "Hey Genma!"

Genma looked up to Naruto, "What do you want kid?"

Naruto smirked, "Jushiro Moyomoto attacked a fellow shinobi competing in this competition, I move that he should be admonished or removed from the finals!" Jushiro took on a look of horror as he soundlessly worded objections to both.

Genma smirked as well, "Jushiro Moyomoto, this infraction will be taken into consideration after the exams, however one more slip up and you will be disqualified."

Jushiro exhaled his held breath as he ignored the laughter of the other competitors and glared at Naruto, "I hate you."

Naruto smiled at him, "I bask in your hate."

Eiko came over and gave Naruto a massive hug, confusing the boy, "Um… Eiko-neechan, what's the matter?"

She pulled away from him and grabbed his arm, "Why didn't you two idiots tell me this?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Well if I had told a lot of people then a lot of things would have gotten worse. For you, for everyone. I had to hide it." Eiko frowned but nodded.

Blank walked over with a massive smile, "Kid you kicked that Hyuuga kid's ass. Good work."

Naruto fake bowed, "I told you I would, now I just have to wait for Sasuke or Gaara and then it's straight to the finals." Naruto looked around and saw Gaara still in the balcony, "Why is Gaara still here? What the hell."

Shikamaru walked over, "Sasuke still hasn't shown up. They pushed his fight back to later today so that he has time to show."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "That's total bullshit! If it were me then I never would have gotten that chance!" Naruto recalled the fight order, "Wait a minute… Why are _you_ still here? You fight Shino next."

Shikamaru shut his eyes, "Fighting Shino and then two opponents would have been too troublesome, I quit before we went down."

Naruto pulled his hair, "What the hell is wrong with you people? Where's the drive?" Naruto's rant was interrupted by Genma.

"Fight number four: Temari vs. Jushiro Moyomoto. Please make your way to the arena."

Temari smirked as she jumped over the railing and glided down with her fan. Jushiro sneered, "Show-off!" He grumbled as he turned to walk the long way down.

XxX

As he entered the field he came to a smirking Temari, "What took so long?"

Jushiro fake laughed, "Well I can't just hop on my big ass fan and float down here in a jiffy can I? I can do a lot of things that qualify as fucking awesome, achieving flight is yet to be one of them." As they walked towards each other Jushiro smirked, "I hope you put up a better fight than your brother. Because he couldn't beat Blank, and I'm the strongest guy on my team."

A voice rang out, "Fuck you Jushiro!"

As Jushiro chuckled at the outburst Temari took off her fan. Genma moved in to speak, "Match 4: Temari vs. Jushiro Moyomoto. Ready, begin!"

Jushiro jumped back as Temari swung her fan at him after Genma moved. As he dodged he took note of how heavy the fan was, 'If she hits me with that fucking thing I'm done.' Temari swung her fan at Jushiro to make a strong wind. Jushiro turned his ring into his cestus as he punched the ground to lift a mass of rock to protect him. Waiting for the attack to subside, Jushiro sat and began to think, 'Well I won't be getting close anytime soon… And even if I do, that big-ass fan will clobber me if I fuck around and get hit.'

Jushiro scratched his face, "This is going to suck." As he saw Temari move to the side of his wall he stood up to run again before she could send another wind attack his way. As he turned his head he found that he had moved too slow, Temari had already swung her fan when he looked back. Jushiro found himself carried with all the more force due to him jumping in the direction her attack was sent.

As he flew across the field he saw her smirk, "Damn it woman! Stop with the wind already!"

Temari leaned on her fan, "Well all you have to do is give up and I won't toss you around the stadium anymore."

Jushiro stood up and dusted himself off, "How about… no."

Temari shrugged, "Fine then, Kamataichi no Jutsu! (Wind Scythe Jutsu)!"

Jushiro hunkered down and turned his cestus into a full-body shield to brace him against Temari's attack, "Damn it! I'm gonna have to get close to win. My chakram won't reach anywhere near her if she keeps throwing this wind, and she can blow my circle slips away before I can use them." Keeping himself low he stood and charged Temari's position.

Temari was amazed as she saw a shield stand and rush her head-on, "How can he move in this wind?" Temari noticed the shape of the shield would allow most attacks to slide off of it as he got closer, "Nice try, but it's not that easy!" Temari hefted her fan up to swing at Jushiro from behind his protection. Her fan collided with his shield to an awful metal clang sending the boy off balance.

As his shield turned back into a ring he stumbled, narrowly ducking Temari's second swing at his head. However he ducked right into Temari's kick to his face, sending him back a few feet. As he rose he saw Temari preparing for another swing of her fan, "Hold on, hold on, stop it, just wait!"

Temari stopped her swing mid-lift to blink in a confused manner, "What? Why?"

Jushiro smirked as he motioned to his foot while looking down. Temari looked down to see three transmutation slips at her feet, one on her foot. She looked back up at Jushiro, "So what? Paper? I'll blow it away."

Jushiro shook his head, "Nope. Not regular paper, they're tools I use for quick transmutations in battle." Seeing the confused look on her face he pointed at the wall Naruto had made during the first fight, "That's one of the things alchemy can do. So you should quit."

Jushiro flicked his ring as the slips glowed and forced the ground to surround her legs up to her waist, "Now you're stuck… And I still have one active." Temari looked down to see one slip in front of the mound around her legs. Jushiro pulled off his necklace, "And if that doesn't help you decide…" He turned the necklace into his giant chakram on a chain and began to swing it, "I could always just cut you in half."

He demonstrated by swinging at the tree nearby, cutting it in half and then swinging it at Temari, barely missing her. "Get the point?" Jushiro glared her down while swinging his weapon.

Temari didn't see any way out, her legs were trapped in a way that her fan couldn't free her without time, and by then he would have cut her in half. Sighing she dropped her fan, "Fine… I surrender…"

Jushiro smiled as he deactivated his chakram back to a necklace and walked over to her. He kneeled down and pulled out a piece of chalk to draw a transmutation circle on. After his transmutation freed her legs he turned and bowed to the crowd to raucous applause.

Genma smirked as he shook his head, "Winner of match 4: 'The Armory Alchemist' Jushiro Moyomoto." Jushiro accepted the hand raise and showboated back to the entrance tunnel.

XxX

As Jushiro arrived back to the balcony he saw Temari sulking, as he walked over she glared at him to no effect, "It's no big deal to lose to me, I should have been promoted the last two times I did this, I'm not a regular genin."

Temari pouted and turned away, Jushiro sighed and walked away. He saw Naruto walk over to him with a smug grin, "Damn Big Boss, my fight was cooler than that."

Jushiro growled, "Well I'm sorry if I don't like punching pretty girls in the face with rock fists runt!"

Naruto dusted Jushiro off, "Looks like she got a few good hits in huh?"

Jushiro muttered, "Where's Eiko and Blank?"

Naruto took him to the railing, "They went down after you got back, you were too busy flirting with Temari to notice, I should tell Haku-chan how you see other girls behind her back."

Jushiro grabbed him by the scruff of his collar, "Do it and die you relationship wrecking brat, you are on thin ice!"

Naruto chuckled nervously, "Um… Let's go watch Blank and Eiko-neechan's fight."

XxX

Eiko and Blank stood across from one another with smiles on their faces, not speaking. Genma moved between them, "Match 5: Blank Nogami vs. Eiko Tanahashi. Ready, begin!"

As Genma jumped away both teammates just stood still smiling. Blank threw his hands behind his head, "So Eiko… How you been for the last month?"

Eiko looked at her nails, "Oh I've been good… You?"

Blank closed his eyes, "Oh I've been great, and I know how to beat you this year, it shouldn't take long either."

Eiko summoned her double-bladed sword and grinned at Blank, "Oh really? Well come on then, I'm waiting."

Blank put his hands down, "Well I guess I can't fuck around today." As he began going through the hand-signs to activate his Raiton Gaitou (Lightning Aura/Cloak) Eiko cut him off half-way through as she pressed her own attack.

Eiko sent looping slashes at Blank that were frantically evaded. Blank rolled under one of her swipes and threw a punch at her face. Eiko used the flat of a blade to slap his hand up out of the way, "Damn it Eiko that hurt!"

Eiko smiled, "Sorry Blankie, but I'm winning again this year." Eiko kicked him in the stomach and smacked him across the face with the flat of a blade, sending him flying back.

Blank hit the ground gritting his teeth, 'Damn, she won't give me the space to activate my jutsu. I just need one shot.' Blank stood again and tried to activate his powers but again Eiko stopped him with a well-placed set of shuriken, one of which embedded itself into his right arm. Blank picked the metal weapon out of his arm as he kept up the distance from Eiko.

XxX

Naruto shook his head, "Eiko-neechan is really keeping on him huh?"

Jushiro grunted, "I don't know why he didn't just activate the Raiton Gaitou on the way down, who would have noticed? And now he's screwed, because there is no way that Eiko will give him enough time to finish his technique."

Naruto blinked, "Is Blank's technique that strong for neechan to press the attack like that?"

Jushiro nodded, "Blank isn't affected by Kanashibari no Jutsu because his chakra coils always have some kind of electrical pulse going through them, Eiko can hit him with it as much as she likes, he can actually use it as a mini Raiton Gaitou. Because she can't paralyze him she's just swinging away at him hoping to hit him dead on one good time."

XxX

Blank was getting frustrated, 'This is absurd! Why didn't I learn automatic activation?' Blank kept dodging her shuriken and staying out of Eiko's melee range. He knew without his jutsu it was a moot point to try and engage Eiko in close with her big-ass sword drawn.

Eiko took a good swipe at Blank as he ducked and faced off with her again, "Come on Blank… What's that strategy you have to beat me?"

Blank seethed, "Well I really can't use my family jutsu unless I activate Raiton Gaitou now can?"

Eiko giggled, "Well maybe you need a new plan… Or a new jutsu?"

Blank thought for a second, "Eiko can I please activate my jutsu?"

Eiko looked surprised before she pondered for a moment, "Hmm, no. That was a damn good idea though."

Blank sighed, "Well there goes that idea… Fine… I was ready for this." Eiko raised her eyebrow as Blank pulled a metal ball out of his pocket.

She eyed the ball wearily, "Blank what exactly is that?"

Blank sighed as he eyed the ball, "This… is gonna give me a chance to bea- Sucker punch!" He quickly threw the ball at Eiko, however she pulled up her sword and cut the ball in half. As the ball split it released a burst of electricity that stunned Eiko to the ground. Blank wasted no time in going through his hand-signs, "Alright it's on now! Raiton Gaitou (Lightning Aura/Cloak)!"

A small blue wisp surrounded Blank's body for a moment, before he clinched his fist to settle his electricity. Eiko had made it back to her feet, cursing to herself, "Blank what did that ball do?"

Blank smiled, "Yeah I got sick of getting cut off before I could activate Raiton Gaitou, so I made a little stun grenade with my electricity for such a situation. Congratulations Eiko… You are the first recipient of my new tool."

Eiko laughed bitterly, "Okay so now what? What's your big plan?"

Blank chuckled, "It's so simple, I'm an idiot for not realizing it before… I'm gonna zap you."

Eiko face-faulted, "That's it… You're gonna shoot lightning at me and hope it hits… You're an idiot."

Blank wagged his finger at Eiko, "No, no my dear Eiko… I'm not hoping to hit you… I am going to hit you, and I'm not going to miss either."

Eiko set back in her stance, "Well bring it on."

Blank chuckled, "I love you Eiko… But you lose."

Eiko jumped to the side in an evasive action, "Whatever, you have to hit me to beat me."

Blank channeled chakra to his hands, "You're half-right Eiko, Raikou Rakurai (Lightning Bolt)!" A bolt shot from Blank's hands. Eiko thought the shot was sloppy and well aimed until she felt the jolt of the blast.

Eiko hit her hands and knees breathing heavily, "Blank… *pant pant* What did you do? You missed!"

Blank laughed, "I wasn't really aiming for you, I was aiming at the fucking lightning rod in your hand."

Eiko looked at her sword, "What? You shot at Souseiji Eidan?"

Blank rubbed his nose, "Not really, more like shot in its general area. It's metal girl… It would pull my attack in as long as it was close." Eiko tried to stand until Blank zapped her again, "Uh uh, you are going to be good and stay down or I'll shoot until your eyes are numb."

Eiko tried to stir some movement but Blank shot her again, "Seriously… stop moving. I can do this all day, it's hilarious to hear you shriek, 'AHH!'"

Eiko growled and then sighed, "Fine I quit…"

Genma raised Blank's hand, "Winner of match 5: Blank Nogami!"

Blank soaked up the cheers before turning to Eiko, "Can you walk?"

Eiko pouted, "No… I can't even stand up yet."

Blank grinned and picked her up bridal style, "Well then I guess I'm your ride back up." Eiko protested but eventually gave in, seeing as she had no choice in the matter.

XxX

As the two team members made their way back up to the balcony they were greeted by a smirking Jushiro, "Aww, that's sweet. Carrying our female teammate over the threshold."

Eiko narrowed her eyes, "Shut up Jushiro-kun, I'm paralyzed. Blank-kun just said he'd carry me back up."

Jushiro's smirk grew bigger, "Blank-_kun_ huh? I remember that you didn't call me Jushiro-kun until I started dating you when we were in the academy."

Eiko blushed, "Shut up Jushiro-kun!" Blank shook his head and set her down on a bench by the rail and sat down.

Jushiro let the situation slide as he looked towards Naruto and Shikamaru, "Hey brat, is the Uchiha kid here yet?"

Naruto frowned and shook his head, "He's late as hell… If he doesn't hurry up then he's done and I get a fresh Gaara next round… And I really don't feel like fighting a fresh Gaara."

Shikamaru yawned, "Naruto relax, whether he shows or not you can't do anything about it so just chill out."

Naruto looked at Shikamaru, "I'm not listening to you. You quit before your fight even happened, that's not a manly thing to do, right Shino?"

Shino just adjusted his glasses. Naruto pointed at him in a convinced fashion, "You see? Shino knows what it's all about." Shikamaru grunted and Naruto scoffed, "Man I need to walk some of my pent-up energy off. I'm bored." Naruto stood to leave.

XxX

Genma was looking at his watch and grunted, "Well that's ten minutes…" He cleared his throat before shouting, "Alright, it has been 10 minutes therefore the winner by def-" He was interrupted by a whirlwind kicking up in the arena.

As the dust and wind subsided Kakashi stood with an apathetic looking Sasuke in a black combat suit, a change from his former outfit. Kakashi rubbed his head sheepishly, "Uh sorry. Are we late?"

Genma shook his head, "You guys are so lucky, a few more seconds and you would have been disqualified."

Kakashi exhaled his held breath, "You see Sasuke, we made it on time after all. It's all good right?" Sasuke looked up at Gaara wordlessly.

Genma looked up at Gaara, "Gaara, you can come down for your fight now." Gaara turned to walk down the stairs to the center of the arena.

XxX

The Kazekage chuckled, "Well, well. It seems that the main event will go on after all."

Hiruzen chuckled, "It seems so. It looks like you're excited to see the last Uchiha in action."

The Kazekage looked into the stadium, "Only the best opponent will do for our Gaara-kun. Who better than an Uchiha to fight him?"

The Sandaime Hokage gave him a cold stare, "So… Our Uchiha interests you eh Orochimaru?"

The Kazekage's eyes almost bulged out of his head, "H-how, I mean what are you talking about?"

Hiruzen smirked, "Well I didn't actually know. But your reaction kind of gave you away. Besides, if I was actually wrong then I could've chalked it up to senility and carried on."

The 'Kazekage' growled softly, "So now what do we do old man?"

Hiruzen's smirk never left, "Why watch the proceedings of course. After all, it has been such a long time since I've spent any time with you my student." He took out his pipe, smirk firmly in place, "We should take this time to… catch up."

Orochimaru had no clue on what to do at this point. He was absolutely sure that Konoha would have no idea of his attack, he racked his brain trying to come up with a reason for his failed planning. The only question left was if he should still give the signal to attack, or if he was completely compromised.

XxX

Naruto came back up the stairs after a prolonged walk around the ground area. Pulling up his zipper he was muttering to himself, "This is fucking ridiculous, I can shake myself for 15 damn minutes and I'll still dribble piss in my pants."

As he reached the top step he was seen by Shikamaru, "Naruto, Sasuke showed up, he's down there ready to fight right now."

Naruto smiled, "Well hot damn then, let's go."

As they turned to climb the rest of the stairs they saw two men confront Gaara with kunai drawn, "Our boss has lost enough money today with his betting, the Hyuuga brat couldn't beat the Uzumaki kid. We can't let you win your fight as well."

The other man walked towards Gaara, "You punks think that the chunin exams are all about you. They're actually about the men investing in you, so let's give you an idea of what you're getting into."

As the men approached Gaara his sand came sprawling out of his gourd and covered the two men. As the sand dragged them into the shadows the screams of the men were silenced by a crunching noise. Gaara simply came walking out and proceeded past Naruto and Shikamaru down the stairs.

As his footsteps vanished from sound Shikamaru shook until vomiting over the railing, Naruto just shook until he grabbed his hands to settle himself. Shikamaru stopped heaving to talk, "That… That could have been us… If we were just a few seconds sooner then he would have crushed us instead."

Naruto looked at the hallway, blood began seeping from the shadows. Naruto shook his head to snap himself out of his thoughts, "Sasuke is going to fight that guy?"

Shikamaru looked at Naruto, "Naruto… We have to stop this fight."

Naruto nodded, "Come on, if he's here then Kakashi is here too, we have to find him." The boys ran off to the stands to find Kakashi. Naruto had to ask himself a question, 'Kyuubi-chan… What was with that guy? It felt like you were freaking out when he passed us. You did the same thing that night at the tower.'

Naruto heard a growl in his head, "**Naruto, that guy… He's like you. He has something in him like you, but I can't tell what… It seems familiar though.**"

Naruto almost tripped midstride, Shikamaru looked over at him, "Naruto, you okay?"

Naruto shook it off, "Yeah Shikamaru, just fine, uneven floors that's all." 'He's like me? He has a demon in him too? Damn it, we have to find Kakashi.

After running through the top section of the stands they saw a familiar shock of white hair, "KAKASHI!" Seeing the lazy jounin turn around they began their descent down the stairs.

They stopped on his step, panting, "Ah, Naruto… New look I see… and that arm doesn't seem too normal."

Naruto looked at his arm before remembering why they came, "Kakashi that's not important right now, Sasuke is in there with a lunatic. He'll kill him."

Kakashi seemed to contemplate his words but shrugged, "No I think he'll be fine."

Naruto growled, "You don't get it Kakashi! He's like… me."

Kakashi caught the hidden meaning behind the blonde's words but shook him off anyway, "Still, he's fine. We've been training all month for this."

Naruto almost snapped, "Listen to me Kakashi, this guy is the same as me, only he embraces his darkness. If you think Sasuke can beat this guy straight up then you're as stupid as I look. You can't just stand there."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes, "You're right, so shut up and watch."

Naruto gritted his teeth but held his tongue. Sakura listened to the back and forth between her sensei and her teammate but didn't catch on to what they were mostly saying. All she really caught was Sasuke is fighting a killer, as she looked at the battle with a sense of dread. 'Oh Sasuke-kun.'

By this time Gaara had taken refuge inside his sand orb, he was stuck outside thinking of a way to get to Gaara. In the stands Naruto was fighting a war within himself, 'Damn you Kakashi you bastard, I should rip off my arm and shove it up your ass. What do I do? Sasuke's okay for now, but how long until all hell breaks loose, that crazy bastard won't keep himself sane for long, I can feel his aura shifting already inside that sand thing.'

Shikamaru saw the range of thoughts flying across Naruto's face. Before he could reach out to his friend he heard a loud chirping noise, as he turned he saw Sasuke on the wall of the stadium charging up his arm. Ino voiced the common question going around, "What is that?"

Before Kakashi could speak, Gai answered, "That's the Chidori (One-Thousand Birds)… Kakashi's one original jutsu."

Sakura looked at Kakashi, "Chidori?"

Gai again answered, "The Chidori is an assassination technique, it compresses the user's chakra into a high-powered jab that can rip into the enemy and kill. Kakashi I'm shocked that you would teach that technique to a genin."

Kakashi responded coolly, "Says the man that taught his genin how to open the Celestial Gates."

Naruto's attention went back to Kakashi, "So for the last month you've been teaching Sasuke a high-powered jutsu and you left me to fend for myself!"

Kakashi shrugged, "Again Naruto, Sasuke's opponent, as you said, could kill him. In your fight Neji beat you up, but he left you alive didn't he?"

Naruto snapped, "That's because I beat him you dumbass!" Kakashi looked at the boy in shock but Naruto pressed his advantage, "I beat his ass ragged! And now in the next round I either have to fight a crazy-ass sociopathic killer, or my teme of a teammate that has had personal one-on-one time with our sensei for the last TWO months! To top it off he has a brand spanking new 'rip-my-ass-in-two' jutsu that I know for a fact he won't hesitate to pull on me if I end up getting an advantage."

Kakashi tried to defend himself, "Naruto I told him to never use that jutsu on a comrade, it is only meant to protect."

Naruto threw his cloak down, "Yeah well rat poison isn't made for human consumption either, but that doesn't stop motherfuckers from slipping it to people does it? Go ahead and ask me how I know!"

Kakashi's attention was now on Naruto's arm, "Naruto, what is that? What's wrong with your arm?"

Naruto stuck it in his face, "Consider this proof that I know how nasty people can be when they want to be. You missed my fight so you missed my explanation. I got my fucking arm cut off when I was 6 on my birthday."

Kakashi was hit by déjà vu, He was the one who gave the Hokage the news of Naruto's attack, "Naruto… I never knew that this…"

Naruto scoffed, "Fuck it, it was six years ago… Dwelling on it won't bring my arm back." He looked as Sasuke yelled and charged Gaara's sphere of sand. As he punched his hand in the arena was clouded in a horrible yell.

"AHHH! IT'S MY BLOOOD!"

Naruto's hands tensed, "Fuck, he did it now…" Sasuke pulled his arm out to reveal a strange appendage slipping from the hole before it slinked back inside. Naruto grabbed Kakashi, "Kakashi stop the goddamn fight! I'm not fucking playing around right now!" Kakashi never got a chance to respond as Gaara's sphere exploded, revealing Gaara, half covered in his sand in a strange manner, a half-demonic figure.

Sakura shivered as she gazed upon Gaara's figure, "Wh-what is t-that?"

Naruto spoke softly, "Gaara's demon…" All of those who heard looked at Naruto who was slack-jawed at witnessing the ongoing spectacle, 'Damn it Kyuubi-chan on a scale of 1 to 10 how screwed is Sasuke right now?'

He heard the sound of thinking in his head, "**Naruto-kun I don't think your scale goes high enough…**"

Naruto chuckled bitterly out loud getting stares. As he saw the eyes on him he shrugged, "What the fuck are ya'll looking at? Fight's down there."

XxX

Sasuke was stunned, "There's no way, he took the Chidori and he's still standing…" Gaara shrieked, "Yes Sasuke Uchiha! You will be my greatest kill yet! I'll finally know what it feels like to exist!" As he lunged at Sasuke he came at a speed that caught Sasuke off-guard. Sasuke's training for much of the time had been working his speed and reflexes to prepare to learn the Chidori, however out of shock at Gaara's new speed he was caught flat-footed as he was swatted by Gaara's monstrous arm into the stadium wall.

Sasuke spit up blood as he fell from the hole he created, 'No… I can't lose to him. I need to win, I need to be stronger.' He spit as he stood and formed another Chidori.

Gaara grinned sadistically as he waited for the attack, "Come on Sasuke Uchiha!" He leapt from his point to rush Sasuke just as the Chidori charged.

Sasuke saw this and began his own rush while dragging his attack across the ground, "Chidori!"

As the two attacks met, Sasuke's jutsu cut Gaara's sand appendage off.

XxX

Sakura and Ino breathed sighs of relief. Sakura smiled, "Sasuke-kun did it… He got him."

Ino was louder in her proclamation, "I knew Sasuke-kun could do it! He's way too cool to lose like that!"

Naruto stared hard at the battle, "You're right, he won't lose like that… Because it's not over yet." The genin in attendance stared at Naruto before Sakura spoke, "Naruto what do you mean? He cut his arm off. He can't fight Sasuke anymore."

Naruto shook, "Sakura what is that arm made of?"

Sakura looked at the heap on the ground before it dissolved as she gasped her answer, "Sand…"

Naruto nodded, "And what exactly does Gaara control freely?" As the faces of the kids paled and the jounin's faces hardened he nodded, "This isn't over yet… This is just the tip of this iceberg."

XxX

Sasuke smirked as he felt Gaara's sand arm come off as he screamed in pain. His smirk disappeared as he heard the sound of insane laughter behind him. He turned to see Gaara laughing as his arm reformed, "Yes Uchiha! This is the feeling I've been waiting for! Make me feel alive!"

As he rushed in again Sasuke felt he had no more chakra to give, 'No… I can't do another Chidori, I don't have anything else that will hurt him and he's barely scratched.'

Gaara collided into Sasuke and began slamming him about the ground repeatedly.

XxX

The people in the stands cringed as Sasuke's body thudded off of the dirt. The shinobi in the crowd could actually hear the sound of Sasuke's ribs being destroyed by the beating.

Sakura and Ino were shaking at the cruel display of violence. Tears came from Sakura's eyes, "Make him stop… Make him stop before he kills him!" Naruto clinched his fists as the sound of the beating made its way to his ears.

XxX

Sasuke was barely conscious, his right arm was limp, Gaara took that one out as he was sick of the Chidori. His body was visibly smashed as he was whipped around the stadium once more. Gaara finally let Sasuke fly into the stands with a wound up throw.

XxX

Sasuke's body was thrown in the direction of Kakashi, Gai, and the amassed genin. Kakashi caught Sasuke mid-flight before he hit the stairs. As he checked Sasuke's body for signs of life he heard another scream of violence and turned to see Gaara jumping into the stands to tear at Sasuke. Before Kakashi could act a fist of concrete came from the stairs and punched Gaara back into the arena.

Genma snapped out of his reprieve of attentiveness, "The winner of match 2: Sabaku no Gaara!"

XxX

As Hiruzen shook his head at the brazen display of violence, the 'Kazekage' stayed motionless and silent, 'Thank you Gaara-kun… You couldn't have scripted this to go better for me than this. After this the boy will be knocking down my door.'

XxX

As all of the genin rushed over to look Sasuke over they were alerted by a shout, "Hey you guys!" They turned to see Jushiro, Eiko, Blank, and Shino running over. Eiko immediately kneeled by Sasuke, "Wow, he got worked over…" As the remaining genin stayed silent and looked on.

Naruto's attention was caught again by another yell, "You guys!" Naruto turned his head to see Kiba and Hinata running to the scene to observe. Kiba scratched his head, "That Gaara is insane… Sasuke looks rough." Naruto looked at Hinata fretting over the situation and smiled softly.

However the next words heard around the stadium made the blood of many run cold.

"The next bout, match number 6: Naruto Uzumaki vs. Sabaku no Gaara!"

**And that in a nutshell is chapter 18 for your literary pleasure. Finally I'm getting my strength back, I need to get back into the gym, I feel stringy and weak. My output of chapters will not slow down any time soon because I'm too legit to quit. I've got like a shitload of more ideas to warp and a few originals too. The day I stop writing it will be because I am no longer legit, therefore I must quit.**

**Give me your thoughts… seriously I say I don't care but these reviews are like crack; I like it… love it… I GOT'S TO HAVE IT!**

**Kenchi out… for now.**


	19. Demon Days

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Sorry to lead you all on like that, I apologize. Yes I'm totally f'n awesome, but I'm not that awesome. For those of you under the impression that I, a humble college freshman, owned two massive money-making manga franchises I guess I should have stanched those thoughts sooner. For those of you with comments on how bad people like me are the reason for copyright laws please direct all statements to your nearest brick wall… I assure you the response will be the same as if you were talking to me personally.  
(Dictated not read… The management)

**Chapter 19: Demon Days**

"The next bout, the first match of the semifinals… Match number 6: Naruto Uzumaki vs. Sabaku no Gaara!"

Those words shot through the arena like a bolt of lightning. Reactions ranged from amused and excited, to utterly terrified, to miffed and confused. Naruto had to fight the boy, no, creature that just physically dissected the heir of Konoha's greatest clan. Naruto's comrades gather around him looked overwhelmed by the announcement.

Naruto rubbed the area between his eyes in a circular motion, "You've got to be fucking kidding me… There is no way my luck is that bad… Although I did say I would be fighting a teme or a serial killer, I really wasn't looking forward to the second one." Naruto reached for his cloak until he stopped himself, 'What's the point? It'll just get annihilated during the fight.' Sighing he began to take steps down the stairs.

The sound of his footsteps snapped a few of his friends out of their Uchiha trance. Jushiro, Blank, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Kakashi looked up to see Naruto descending the stairs. The first four cut him off from proceeding as he looked at them incredulously, "Um… You guys mind moving?"

Kiba stepped up, "Naruto are you crazy? That guy isn't normal! We saw what he's been doing since the Forest of Death! And now he's some creature that just destroyed your teammate. It's not worth it." Naruto tried to move past before Shikamaru stopped him.

Shikamaru put a hand on his shoulder, "Naruto don't be troublesome. You're strong, yeah I know, but this guy is on a whole other level. Think about this… If you lose he'll kill you."

Naruto fake pondered, "Hmm… Thought about it, and yes I'm still going down there. Everybody said Neji was on a whole other level, that's what people have been telling me for years and I haven't lost yet, I'm kinda hoping that streak extends itself right now."

Naruto kept walking until Blank and Jushiro blocked him, "What now you guys are gonna try to stop me too?"

Blank and Jushiro smirked as Blank shook his head, "No… I just like following the crowd."

Naruto smiled as Jushiro kneeled down to him, "You know you don't have to do this kid."

Naruto shook his head, "Yes I do, look at these people."

Jushiro looked around and saw the people looking between Naruto and Gaara, making their comparisons and snide comments, Naruto continued, "I have to do this. I have to show people that guys like us aren't always bad. I'm the only one who can."

Jushiro ruffled his hair, "Whatever, just don't fuck up that arm. Winry will beat our asses if you don't keep it working." Naruto smiled as he walked past his brother.

As he kept walking another shout turned his head. He looked back up the steps to see Sakura standing at the top step, "Naruto don't go!"

Naruto frowned, "Don't tell me you still think I'm worth nothing too?"

Sakura shook her head as tears came out, "Naruto look what he did to Sasuke. He'll do it to you too! Don't go, you don't have anything to prove!"

Naruto smiled, "Yes I do… And I'll win too, just watch."

Sakura turned to Kakashi to get his support, "Kakashi-sensei Naruto is going to fight Gaara! You have to stop him he'll die!"

Kakashi looked at him walking to his battle, "Maybe, but maybe not. Naruto doesn't seem too frightened at all. I say let the boy get his shot, he knows if he's in over his head."

Sakura dropped to the ground, "But… but."

Eiko chuckled from her place checking Sasuke over, "Well maybe your sensei is starting to get it. That Naruto isn't as weak as you all want to think he is." She closed her supplies up, "I've got him stable, he still needs to go to the hospital, for now all we can do is watch Naruto fight that Gaara guy." Sakura still didn't look convinced.

XxX

As Naruto reached the edge of the stands and was about to jump down Genma jumped beside him and spoke, "You sure about this kid? You might not end up walking away from this one."

Naruto just smiled, "Hey… I am the Fullmetal Alchemist ain't I? Have a little faith, and call the match." Genma looked wearily up at the Hokage.

XxX

Hiruzen nodded grimly to proceed. Orochimaru began to chuckle, "The Kyuubi child isn't short on courage is he Sarutobi-sensei?"

Hiruzen took a puff from his pipe, "No he isn't. I would say that I wish he'd tone it down, but he wouldn't be Naruto if he did that." Hiruzen decide to pry a little more, "So Orochimaru… What exactly was your big plan for attacking our village?"

Orochimaru smirked under the veil, 'Sarutobi still doesn't know what Gaara can do. I can still pull this invasion off… As long as the Kyuubi brat can push Gaara a little more.' Orochimaru turned to him, "Oh Sarutobi, that's no longer important. Look, the battle is about to begin."

Hiruzen wanted to delve further but decided to keep to himself for now, 'Naruto-kun be careful, we still have no idea what that boy is capable of.'

XxX

Naruto stepped his foot on the railing to face down an unstable, drooling Gaara, "Come on Uzumaki! I told you I would kill you soon! Well now it's time to die!"

Naruto dead-panned a look between Gaara and Genma, "Yeah… You better make the pre-fight announcement while I'm still up here. Because there is no way in hell I'm going down there to wait for you to say go." Genma looked at Gaara and nodded

Clearing his throat he spoke up, "Semi-final bout, fight number 6: Naruto Uzumaki vs Sabaku no Gaara…" He looked at Naruto in hesitation until Naruto gestured for him to continue, "Begin!"

Naruto jumped into the pit to face off against his enemy. As he landed Gaara cackled madly, "I thought the Uchiha could make me feel my existence, but I was wrong… He was weak! But you… you better make sure you come to kill, because I'm coming to kill you!"

Naruto clapped and formed his hand-blade, "For a psychopath you sure do like to talk. I think I like subtle, crazy Gaara more than drooling, demented Gaara." Naruto set himself down into position to fight, 'Okay… he controls sand… But in that form he didn't even try to manipulate it, all he did was beat Sasuke's ass, who knows what he can do if I can handle the brute force?"

Gaara crouched down, "Well Uzumaki? Come on then."

Naruto didn't budge, "You're the one that said you want to kill me… Why would I run headfirst into that genius?" Naruto was doing more than stalling, 'Okay my alchemy kind of sucks on sand, but as long as I can tell exactly what minerals are in his then I have a fighting chance.'

Naruto narrowed his eyes to look, 'Okay it's dark, and it obviously isn't tropical in origin, probably from his own desert environment, it looks like it's used often so I'd say it's a very fine sand that is easily manipulated by him due to constant use. Alright I know it has silica… and it looks quartz based too. Okay that's all I need to fuck with him.'

Naruto smirked, "You're not getting scared now are you? You big sandy pussy." Gaara clamped his teeth before rushing at Naruto. His speed was far more than Naruto thought it would be, although he chalked it up to just pissing off the big sand demon. Naruto narrowly dodged a swipe from his sand claws, 'Okay Naruto good plan… Piss off the fast-ass strong-ass demon guy.'

Naruto heard a voice, "**Yeah that wasn't a good idea Naruto-kun.**"

Naruto grumbled while dodging another swipe, 'Thanks for the obvious statement Kyuubi-chan. I just can't find an opening, it's like his arm extends and retracts when he attacks.' Naruto said this as he transmuted a wall to protect him from another swing, however Gaara smashed right through it and collided with Naruto's body.

Naruto was sent flying and rolling across the ground until he caught his balance and landed on his feet holding his ribs, "Damn it! He's got retard strength or something, it's crazy!"

He winced as Gaara raised his head to stare him down, "Don't tell me that's the best you have Uzumaki? For your sake you'd better hope not!"

Naruto made the cross seal, "Ugh shut the hell up. Yap, yap, yap… for Kami's sake, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

Naruto created a dozen clones in a straight line in front of him, "You all know the plan… Let's go!" Naruto dropped down and began a transmutation that formed a pillar of earth to rise and shoot towards Gaara, two of his clones jumped onto the head of the pillar as it shot out. Naruto sent the pillar flying straight at Gaara, who simply punched into it to destroy it. Naruto didn't flinch as he sent off a second pillar with two more clones on it. Instead of shooting it straight as it reached Gaara he contorted the pillar to the side to divert his attention as the remaining 8 clones rushed the distracted Gaara.

As the clones began trying to flank Gaara he began to attack them and destroy them. The original Naruto sent the pillar back at the monstrous Gaara. The clones on the pillar began pulling spears out of the rock pillar and threw them at Gaara.

XxX

Kakashi's eye widened as he saw the elaborate sight of Naruto's attack, "He's attacking from all bases… He has clones fighting in close as a feint and has clones attacking with weapons from a distance…"

As Eiko continued to work on Sasuke a shadow forced her to look up as she narrowed her eyes, "What do you want here?"

She looked up at Neji Hyuuga. Neji frowned, "I just came to see Naruto fight again… And to say something." Neji walked to Hinata and looked into her eyes as she felt discomfort, "I apologize Hinata-sama."

Hinata almost felt her legs give out, "Y-you what?"

Neji bowed slightly, "I was found by your father after my loss to Uzumaki. He told me the truth… And I have to apologize to you for my misguided actions."

Hinata tried to open her mouth to speak until a crash echoed throughout the stadium.

XxX

Naruto had used his artillery clones as a diversion, as their spears hit around Gaara he diverted his attack to destroy the incoming pillar, this allowed the final 3 clones to get in close and explode on Gaara.

Naruto watched the dust from the attack whip around until stark realization hit him, "No I can't just stop now! I need to follow up!" Naruto made six more clones and sent them in on six more pillars, as the pillars vanished into the dust cloud Naruto made a hand-sign, "Boom!" Explosions rocked the arena floor.

Naruto put his hands in his favorite sign to call more clones until a screeching yell gave pause, "NARUTO UZUMAKI! I WILL KILL YOU!"

Naruto saw a figure rush through the dust panting like an animal. As it burst through and kept running he saw a raccoon made of sand charging him, the only human part of it were the legs, Gaara's legs. Naruto put his hands down to transmute a counter but he was too slow as the full monster Gaara swatted him to the side.

The swing sent him flying into the audience. As he pulled himself out of the spectators he saw Gaara inhale deeply as many mouths appeared on his body doing the same, "Suna Shuriken Jutsu!"

Naruto saw Gaara shoot multiple shuriken from his body made of his sand, he noticed a horrible fact. They weren't all aimed at him, the entire crowd was at risk. Naruto clapped and transmuted the entire protective wall higher to block the attack. As he heard the shuriken collide with the wall he put it back to regular size.

Naruto had an angry look on his face as he saw Gaara smirking at him on the field, "What the fuck is wrong with you? You could have killed all of these people!"

Gaara laughed at his statement, "Who cares? They were in my way! I will kill anyone that questions my existence." Naruto gritted his teeth as he looked at the frightened people surrounding him.

Naruto stood up and got back to the stairs when he saw a little girl in an aisle seat with tears in her eyes. Naruto frowned and walked to her, "Are you ok little girl?"

The girl looked up at Naruto and sniffled, "H-he's gonna kill us."

Naruto put a hand on her head, "I promise you that this guy won't hurt any of you. I'll stop him myself. I swear." The little girl nodded as Naruto jumped back into the fight.

Naruto didn't waste words as he went into his mind, 'Okay Kyuubi-chan… No more games, I need to beat him now.'

"**Okay Naruto-kun, how much do you want?**"

Naruto thought for a moment, 'Start me off with 3/4ths of a tail if you would.' Naruto shut his eyes, upon opening them his eyes were slitted and red, "Okay Gaara, are you ready for me."

Gaara's grin couldn't have grown any bigger as he felt the power beginning to roll off of Naruto, "Yes Naruto Uzumaki! Make me feel it! Show me your power!"

Naruto smirked at the feeling of his power, 'Okay… it doesn't burn. It actually feels good to use. And I can still think straight so I guess that's settled, yep this is definitely awesome.'

XxX

All of Naruto's friends felt the power coursing from his body as Kakashi's eye bulged, "He can use call on its chakra like that!" Kakashi then remembered their conversation in Wave, 'Well he did say he could talk to her, ugh her, it's going to take a while to get used to that.'

Sakura looked up at Kakashi with many of the other genin following suit, "Who's chakra Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi had a mini-freak out, 'Did I say that out loud? Dumbass Kakashi, okay you can bluff your way out of this.' "Um… Oh look, Naruto's attacking." As he saw the genin turn back to the fight he mentally patted himself on the back, 'Nice one Kakashi, dodged that one…'

XxX

Naruto rubbed his hands together as he crouched down, "Let's go then." Naruto took off from his spot at blinding speed, 'Wow, I wasn't this fast against Neji.'

XxX

Neji blinked, "Wow… I don't think he was that fast against me."

XxX

Naruto ran in to attack Gaara, rolling under his punch he clapped and attempted to place his hands onto Gaara's arm but before he made contact Gaara grabbed him with his other arm and began to squeeze him. Naruto grunted as Gaara tried to crush his body in his grip, Gaara laughed as he brought Naruto to his face. Naruto looked around frantically before a smirk grew on his face, "Naruto's Original Technique: Blood Mist Jutsu." Naruto bit down on his tongue and spit blood in Gaara's face, blinding the jinchuuriki and forcing him to drop him on the ground.

Naruto took advantage of this and finished his initial plan, as he clapped and placed his hands on Gaara's left arm it turned into slightly visible particles and dropped to the ground, Naruto punctuated his point by punching Gaara in the body. The force from the punch sent Gaara dragging backwards as he looked at where his left arm had been, "What did you do to my arm!"

Naruto smirked, "Well I broke it down into the minerals that made up sand, I mean you aren't Gaara of Gypsum or Gaara of Quartz so you can't regenerate that bad boy." Gaara growled at Naruto and rushed in with his one remaining arm trying to cleave at the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, however Naruto was still quicker. Naruto got sick of dodging the onslaught of Gaara and made a quick Kage Bunshin which was snatched up by Gaara, while in his grip the clone smirked as Naruto made a hand-sign, "Boom!"

The clone exploded to take out Gaara's other arm. As Gaara tried to pull his remaining arm back together Naruto made the ram seal as the arena filled with tons of his clones. Dozens of Narutos were facing Gaara in a circle. Naruto put his arm out, "Ready!" The clones transmutated themselves spears and javelins from the ground. Naruto raised his arm above him, "Aim!" The clones cocked their arms preparing to throw. "Fire!" The clones let their projectiles fly at Gaara at once.

Gaara covered himself with his one remaining arm in vain as the weapons stuck themselves throughout his body of sand. However deep the spears were stuck they were still not vital, "Is that all you've got Uzumaki!"

Naruto smirked, "That wasn't the real attack, that was just a motherfucking decoy!"

Naruto's clones surrounded the one tree in the stadium, as they all clapped they placed their hands on the tree when one clone spoke, "Sorry tree… I'll plant a new one." The tree began to glow before it started shriveling up as its fluids were extracted by the clones' alchemy.

As the water hung in the air above the arena Naruto went through his hand-signs, "Okay you desert-y bitch try this, Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!" As the liquid began to warp it took the shape of a massive dragon that roared at Gaara, Naruto smiled before sending it to attack Gaara, "Taste the rainbow bitch."

Naruto contorted his body to direct the dragon to Gaara. As the dragon hit Gaara it tore his sand away from his body and put him back to his human form as he was carried on the top of the water until hitting the wall. After the water ebbed away Gaara's ragged breathing was music to Naruto's ears.

Naruto jumped in the air, "Yes! Suck on that you loser! Call the fight!"

Genma looked out on the field in disbelief, "Um… Okay… The winner of match 6 and advancing to the finals: Naruto Uzumaki!"

The crowd was silent as they processed all they had just taken in during the battle. Suddenly the little girl Naruto had talked to stood and began to shout, "Yay! Naruto-niisan beat the raccoon guy!" Suddenly chattering broke out, and chattering turned into raucous cheering.

XxX

Sasuke had been taken to the hospital by this point so all of the genin had their attention solely on the fight. At first stunned into silence Jushiro broke their mute musing, "Hell yeah kid! Oh man I wish Haku-chan saw that! That was fucking awesome! Zabuza is gonna shit himself when we tell him this one!" Eiko stood up and began cheering and yelling for her honorary otouto as did Blank.

Kakashi just chuckled and shook his head, "I don't believe it. He handled that well. The entire battle was well-fought from start to finish."

Sakura stood up and shouted for her victorious teammate, "Yes! Naruto you did it!"

Ino stood and cheered right with her, she turned to Sakura and got her attention, "Wow, who knew he was so good? Naruto just beat two people he shouldn't have cleanly."

Sakura nodded still cheering for her teammate as Ino sighed, "Wow Sakura I'm so jealous of you. You have Sasuke-kun and Naruto on your team. With those two there's nothing you guys can't handle."

Sakura readily agreed, 'Okay Naruto, you win. I'll never doubt you again.'

Neji looked at the spectacle with a smile, "Well I'm glad he won. If he lost here even if Gaara was his enemy I'd still have felt lesser for having lost to him myself. Now there's absolutely no shame to being beaten by him." Tenten stood silent as she nodded in disbelief.

Rock Lee and Maito Gai were crying and hugging each other, "Oh Lee do you see it! Naruto-kun has truly shown that hard work and a youthful attitude can truly overcome any force!"

Lee nodded through his streaming tears, "Yes Gai-sensei, Naruto-kun is an inspiration truly! I will recover and challenge him to combat to truly show my own youthful strength!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

Even Lee and Gai's unbreakable genjutsu could not gain any attention away from the scene at hand.

Hinata grabbed her chest and slumped to the ground in relief, 'Naruto-kun I knew you could win… I'm so proud of you.'

XxX

Orochimaru remained still but couldn't hide the anger rolling off of himself, 'That damn Kyuubi-brat! How dare he? This wasn't supposed to happen like this!' Hiruzen noticed Orochimaru's KI directed at Naruto and had to take his jab, "What's the matter Orochimaru? You had a plan for that boy? Did Naruto-kun blow your big invasion plans?"

Orochimaru seethed, 'Damn, my surprise attack plan failed, and the demon brat ruined the plan for the slaughter in the arena. All I have left is my final back-up plan… This better work Kabuto.'

XxX

Naruto jumped into the crowd as they swarmed him and tried to fan all over him. Naruto had an idea he had wanted to try for years, 'I might as well take advantage of this… Who knows how long the goodwill will last for.' Naruto jumped into the crowd as the lifted him over them. "To the top please!" The crowd body-surfed the boy to the top of the stands where his friends were.

XxX

As medics arrived on the scene to tend to a barely conscious Gaara an Anbu in a crème colored cloak and a white mask appeared to stop them before reaching him. He kneeled down next to Gaara just as Kankuro, Temari and Baki arrived. All three looked worried, Gaara was the base of the invasion plan and now he was out of commission.

Baki tried to get to Gaara when the Anbu spoke, "Trust me Suna-nin, he'll be fine in no time. I'm taking him to the hospital, he should be up in no time." As he finished that statement he picked up Gaara and headed off to Konoha's hospital

As Kankuro and Temari looked at each other worriedly Baki just took a deep breath, 'This better work this time, it's our last chance.'

**A short chapter but it was 85% fighting at least so sit on it. Yeah son!**

**Gaara's done… Or is he? Was that foreboding? Or am I just crazy as hell? …Maybe a little of both honestly I don't know anymore.**

**Review and let my ass know what's up, I don't get paid for this shit so taking 10 seconds to write out your thoughts isn't like I'm FICA on your paycheck or anything**

**U.S. vs. Canada hockey gold medal game, I want it, I need it, I gots to have it because that rematch will kick ass… I'm rambling now.**

**Kenchi out…**


	20. The Three Way Dance

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did I would replace a lot of the music in the anime with kickass songs of my own enjoyment. Why? Because even if I hear a song I think kicks ass from the show, you can't really feel right trying to listen to a song with no lyrics in English or a language that I can readily comprehend… Just one man's delusions of grandeur.

**Chapter 20: The Three-Way Dance**

Naruto took the body surfing all the way to the top of the stadium seating to land by his comrades. As he dismounted off of the wave of people he took note of his friends' faces, "Um hi guys… What's up?" He chuckled nervously as the eyes refused to leave him.

Hinata walked up to the boy blushing furiously. Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Blushing? I thought I fixed that… Stop with the-"

SLAP!

Hinata slapped him across the face. Everyone's eyes widened at that, Jushiro smirked, "Damn didn't see that coming."

Naruto held his face, "What in the hell?" Hinata held him in a hug as she shook slightly, "T-that was reckless Naruto-kun. Gaara could have killed you." Naruto didn't know what to do, his own brother was no help as it seemed it was all he could to do to keep from bursting out in laughter at his otouto's expense.

Naruto did the only thing he could possibly think of in that situation, he began to rub her back to console her, "It's okay Hinata-chan. Yes he could have killed me, but he didn't. I waxed that guy off. Please calm down? For me?"

Hinata stopped shaking as she looked at Naruto with teary eyes, "D-don't do that a-again Naruto-kun."

Naruto sighed as he smiled at her, "Alright I'll try, but no promises, I am danger-prone after all."

She nodded as she backed away. Naruto looked around to see everyone smiling at him now, and Jushiro smirking and rubbing his hands together. Naruto paled at that sight as he knew Jushiro's vengeance would now begin in full. The two locked eyes in a challenge to one another until Sakura ran up to Naruto and gave him a hug. Jushiro blinked absently, "Okay I really didn't see that coming…"

Naruto froze under the pink-haired girl's grip, "Um Sakura… What the hell?"

Sakura looked up at him bright-eyed, "Naruto you did it! You beat Gaara!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Of course I did, I'm awesome. And I said I was going to win didn't I?" Sakura nodded as she let go.

Naruto got mobbed by the other genin before he lost it, "Alright calm the fuck down! …One at a time."

Shikamaru uncharacteristically sprung his question first, "Naruto what did you do to that tree?"

Naruto sighed, "Alchemy, I extracted the fluids from the tree to form Suiyuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu), thank you Zabuza, to blow his sandy ass away."

Shikamaru stepped down as Ino stepped up next, "Naruto when did you get so awesome? I didn't think you could possibly beat Neji earlier, let alone Neji and Gaara."

Naruto dead-panned, "I've been telling you all for years, just because you do well in school doesn't mean you'll do well in a fight. I've always been awesome, I just needed a platform to show it."

Tenten came up with her eyes shining, "So can I get my sword now?"

Naruto felt uncomfortable, "Um… Ask Big Boss." As she turned to Jushiro and he began to curse Naruto an announcement rang out

"Match 7 will be a special attraction. Due to an odd number of competitors in this year's competition we will be having all 3 remaining competitors fight at once for the remaining spot in the finals. Match 7 will be: Shino Aburame vs. Jushiro Moyomoto vs. Blank Nogami!"

Jushiro cut off the festivities by cracking his joints, "Huh, three-way-dance…" Shino began walking to the center of the arena. Blank and Jushiro just shrugged as they walked down themselves to their bout. Naruto sighed heavily as he sat down on the top step.

He turned to see where the bloody space that used to occupy Sasuke was, "Hey where'd the teme go?"

Kakashi answered for him, "Sasuke was taken to the hospital earlier during your fight. Are you ok though Naruto? Your fight looked rough."

Naruto waved him off, "Meh you know I'm as tough as they come Kakashi."

Kakashi looked at Naruto's arm and shook his head, 'I really did end up failing you Naruto, didn't I…'

Naruto sighed in exhaustion as he saw Kakashi's face, "Kakashi… What's the matter? You look a little down in the mouth."

Kakashi snapped to attention, "Oh it's nothing Naruto, it can wait until after the chunin exams."

XxX

As Gaara was taken to the hospital by the Anbu in the light cloak Baki caught up to him, "So now what? Gaara was the key to the plan."

The masked man walked past Baki, "Don't you worry about that. There's a new signal now to commence the operation."

This threw Baki off, "New signal? What is it, when will it go off?"

If you he could guess he'd register the Anbu smirking under his mask, "Oh trust me, you'll know when it happens. And it will happen soon, very soon."

XxX

Jushiro, Shino, and Blank faced off in a triangle as Genma set himself among them, "The seventh match, a three-way dance: Shino Aburame vs. Jushiro Moyomoto vs. Blank Nogami… Are you ready?"

The three genin didn't show any apprehension towards beginning the fight as Genma continued, "Begin!"

As he leaped out of the way of the kids not a single one moved to attack as they stared each other down. Jushiro looked intently at Shino, eventually he shrugged and began to attack Blank. To say Blank was caught off-guard was an understatement, "Dude what the hell? I'm on your team. Take the other kid out first!"

Jushiro smirked as he let loose a barrage of kicks, "Sorry, but I don't want to mess with his bugs that suck chakra right now, which means you're my enemy first. Besides, he isn't doing anything to me yet so I've got you all to myself." Blank tried to gain distance but Jushiro employed Eiko's strategy of not letting him activate his attack, "You dumbass, if you know you have to fight then activate the Raiton Gaitou before you engage!"

Jushiro and Blank began trading attacks with close range taijutsu. Blank fought hard to gain an advantage in close, however Jushiro's style was set to inflict damage in constricted space. Blank tried to shoot out a straight punch but Jushiro was already in his guard. Jushiro hit a counter forearm shiver to the jaw and followed up with a stomp kick to the inside of Blank's knee. As Blank dropped to the ground Jushiro threw a knee that was blocked and deflected by Blank's forearms.

As Blank pushed off of the kick he slid back to launch back at Jushiro with a kunai. Jushiro dodged and again tried closing the distance on his teammate. Blank shot a kick low to Jushiro's legs but the kick was checked when Jushiro crouched low to take the pressure from the attack.

As Blank saw Jushiro duck he blanched and shoved him down to retreat farther back. Jushiro was more surprised than anything, "Dude shoving? Really?" Blank just kept running away. When Jushiro turned to look he saw why his red-haired comrade had run away.

He saw a wall of kikai insects coming his way. Jushiro as a man and shinobi of Konohagakure did the manliest thing he could do in that situation… Screamed like a girl and ran towards Blank. He overtook his partner quickly enough much to his dismay, "Why the hell did you run this way dumbass? Now they're on both of us!"

Jushiro smirked, "Because from here I don't have outrun the bugs, I just have to outrun you." As Blank gave his a confused look they continued running until Jushiro began looking in the stands oddly. "Huh, that's an odd place to put a piano…" Blank looked in the direction referenced with a 'what the fuck' look until Jushiro tripped him, forcing him to stumble, fall, and roll along the ground.

Blank looked at Jushiro who was making tracks away from the scene, "You son-of-a-bitch! That was some dirty shit!"

Jushiro's voice lagged in the distance, "Every man for himself!"

Blank turned to see Shino's kikai bearing on him. Blank frantically began making his hand-signs just as the insects began to swarm him, "Damn, damn, damn, Raiton Gaitou (Lightning Cloak)!"

The insects on his body crackled and died, falling off and hitting the ground. Shino watched as his insects backed off and came back to him. He curiously studied the older genin dusting himself off and silently praying to whatever deity just saved his ass, "How did you do that just now? You got my insects off and survived their attack."

Blank looked over to the boy, "My jutsu turns my body into a living conduit of electricity, basically when your insects latched on they jumped onto a big ass bug-zapper." Shino winced almost unnoticeably at the information.

Jushiro sounded off in the distance, "That's why I convinced you to stay back!"

Blank gritted his teeth, "Shut the hell up! You just thought they'd suck me dry and you'd get away asshole! Raikou Raikurai (Lightning Bolt)!" Jushiro yelped as Blank's lightning bolt hit him.

Blank, satiated for the moment, turned back to Shino, "I hope you have more jutsu than that… Because if sticking your bugs to me is your big ploy then you might as well give up, I'll fry your whole colony without even attacking, and that asshole over there won't be coming anywhere near us for quite a while." Shino stood still as if he were considering his options.

Finally he put his hands over his head, "You're right… My clan techniques are the only attacks that I have outside of academy taijutsu and ninjutsu, and they all involve my kikai insects. I cannot defeat you I surrender."

Genma took Shino's consent of surrender, "Shino Aburame has been eliminated! Jushiro Moyomoto and Blank Nogami remain!"

Blank gave an apologetic smile to the bug-user, "Hey don't beat yourself up kid, it's the luck of the draw. If you had been fighting just Jushiro you probably would have given him a run for his money. And anyway, you're just a rookie, you weren't really supposed to win the whole tournament anyway. When you were put against me it was a lock, nothing can touch me in this form without getting a significant jolt, it's like static electricity turned up to 100 times."

Shino bowed, "I see, you were better than me Nogami-san. Good luck in the rest of the tournament."

Blank bowed back, "Thanks Shino… I'm gonna need it."

He was cut off by a shout, "Hey Blank I'm dying of old age over here let's go! …On second thought you should stay over there, seeing as how it's your only shot to beat me!"

Blank sighed as Shino walked away, 'Even if I beat Jushiro's crazy ass I have to fight his equally crazy little brother immediately after… I'm screwed.'

Blank sighed deeply before turning to face his teammate in battle.

XxX

Kiba looked stunned at what had just happened, "Shino… Gave up? Shino lost? Shino never loses."

Kakashi spoke up, "He had no way to fight Blank. For all of Shino's tactical skills his plans would have to end with swarming Blank with his insects which would be a suicide mission for them."

Kiba was about to speak up until Shino walked up to him, "He's right Kiba, no matter what I did it would have put my insects in danger which would have put me in danger, my fate was sealed in that fight the moment he activated his attack."

Kurenai walked up to Shino, "You did very well for your first chunin exam Shino. I'm proud of you, you made it very far."

Shino nodded in acknowledgement when Kiba spoke, turning to look at Naruto who was surrounded by the other genin, "Now Naruto is the only one of the rookies left, and he's going to the final battle… Who'd have seen that one coming?"

Kakashi turned to him, "Well if anyone took him seriously he had been saying it from the moment the exams started. I heard him yell before the first test."

Kiba chuckled at the memory, "Yeah we all thought he was full of shit. He showed us didn't he?"

Kakashi eye-smiled, "Yes he did Kiba, yes he did."

XxX

Baki was standing on the roof of the hospital when Kankuro and Temari arrived through the door. Temari marched over to Baki with a glare, "Baki-sensei what's going on? Gaara was the plan, without him we can't win!"

Kankuro rubbed his head, "Maybe we should cut our losses and get out of here, it's not too late you know."

Baki looked out over the village below, "*sigh* You know I actually think you're right, this may be a lost cause. But the Kazekage is still here, if we backed out where would we go? We can't go home to Suna if we desert the battle. We have to fight."

Seeing the concerned looks on his students he put hands on their shoulders, "We will attack when the signal goes up. My contact told me the signal would be far too obvious for us to miss. It should be coming soon."

Temari and Kankuro reluctantly nodded as Baki went back down into the hospital. Temari punched the gate surrounding the rooftop, "Damn it Kankuro this is so stupid!"

Kankuro treid to calm his sister, "Come on Temari it'll be fine, we're good at what we do, we'll be fine."

Temari let tears fall from her eyes, "We're not going to win Kankuro… If Gaara could be beaten by one genin, what could the rest of this village do?"

Kankuro just stayed silent trying to console his sister.

XxX

Blank made his way to Jushiro who had been tapping his foot impatiently while waiting for him to get over to him. Crossing his arms in front of his body he snickered, "Took you long enough."

Blank snapped a bolt at Jushiro that he dodged, "Fuck you Jushiro, you almost screwed me over."

Jushiro grinned, "Did I? Or did I just make the fight go that much faster for you?"

Blank dead-panned, "No… You screwed me over, and now your ass is mine." Blank let electricity crackle around his fingertips, "You better be ready man, because I'm coming hard."

Jushiro turned his ring into his cestus, "Well let's commence to throwing down then!"

Blank fired his lightning bolt at Jushiro who dodged, confusing the red-head, "Wait I should have hit your necklace. Why didn't it draw to the metal?"

Jushiro smirked, "Because my vest is leather dumbass."

Jushiro ran towards Blank who fired another bolt of lightning. Jushiro threw his fist out to make contact with the attack. The contact forced a small explosion that Jushiro ran through to continue his charge. Blank cursed as he gathered his lightning to his fists to begin his hand to hand fight with Jushiro.

Blank tried to grab Jushiro's cestus hand but he avoided the grip. Jushiro snapped out a side kick that hit Blank in the body as he flew back a few feet. Blank recovered quickly with a lightning bolt that hit Jushiro flush. Blank ran in and let loose a haymaker charged with his electricity. The hit sent Jushiro sailing for twenty yards and rolling in the dirt until he stopped moving.

After a few moments Jushiro began to twitch as he tried to rise to his feet, "Ugh… What the hell was that?" Jushiro swished his mouth around before reaching in and pulling out a tooth. He began to freak out, "Oh Kami, that was a goddamn molar! That one was all the way in the back!" He stared at his tooth before glaring at Blank, "Damn it Blank! Knocking my teeth out, really?"

Blank shrugged, "It's a fight man." Jushiro kept up his glare and Blank huffed, "Oh you're a pussy, Eiko can fix it later."

Jushiro muttered before yelling, "NARUTO!" Naruto ran to the edge of the stands when Jushiro threw him his tooth, "Take that to Eiko and get it some ice so I can get it back please." Naruto looked at it before nodding and heading back up the stairs.

Blank decided to crack on his friend, "You'd better hope you can fix that, Haku might not want a toothless bastard like you."

Jushiro growled, "I'm going to beat the piss out of you asshole." Jushiro cracked his knuckles and stared Blank down. Jushiro threw a kunai at Blank who just dodged, Jushiro took the opening to punch the ground. This brought up a line of rock leading to where Blank was going to land.

Blank saw this and kicked off of the wall, reminiscent of Neji Hyuuga, as he landed he saw Jushiro with his circle slips in hand as he tried to pin them on Blank. Blank punched the hand holding the slips forcing electricity to course through Jushiro. He felt his movements slow but he leapt back and pulled five more kunai, he wrapped his slips around the kunai and threw them at Blank.

Blank dodged as the kunai stuck themselves in the ground, Jushiro flicked his cestus forcing a reaction. The kunai burst into needles and hit Blank over much of his back, "Ah damn it Jushiro!" Jushiro smirked as he flicked his cestus again, the needles that hadn't hit Blank then burst into small, fine, more focused needles and shot into Blank's front. Blank stumbled and fell to one knee.

Blank spit up blood on the ground as he started pulling needles out of his body. Jushiro walked closer but stopped fifteen feet short of Blank and stood, "So do you quit? Because you look like shit right now."

Blank chuckled before spitting more blood, "Nah… I can't quit now. What girl would want a guy who quit his fight? That's a bad way to get a date Jushiro."

Jushiro smirked at him, "Well then I guess I have to really mess you up huh?"

Jushiro flicked his cestus as Blank cried out in pain as the needles in his body glowed, "What are you doing!"

Jushiro began frowning, "I'm making the needles change shape while still in your body, I can do this for as long as it takes. It won't kill you, but damn will it hurt."

Blank started writhing on the ground, "I noticed!"

Jushiro continued torturing Blank for several minutes until the screaming stopped. Jushiro frowned deeply and walked over to Blank as he kneeled down to check his pulse. He sighed in relief as he called Genma over to the scene, "He's not dead, he just passed out from the pain and blood loss, the fight is over."

Genma nodded and raised Jushiro's hand, "Winner of match 7 and advancing to the final round: Jushiro Moyomoto!"

Jushiro walked up the wall leading to the stands and walked through the wave of people trying to speak to him. Jushiro blew most of them off or gave one word answers until he reached the area where Naruto and all of the genin were. As he reached them he sat down and sprawled out with a groan, "Ugh… EIKO! Where's my tooth? I need it back…"

Eiko walked over with a scowl on her face, "Jushiro-kun why did you do that to Blank-kun?"

Jushiro quirked an eyebrow, "Because it was a fight? And he knocked my goddamn tooth out."

Eiko's eye twitched, "Oh you mean this tooth?" Eiko used a sickeningly sweet tone as she showed Jushiro the cup with his tooth in it. At seeing him nod she dumped the ice on the ground and stepped on the tooth, grinding it into the concrete.

Jushiro snapped to attention, "Eiko what the hell!"

Eiko slapped him in the back of the head, "You can't put a tooth back into someone's head you dumbass! You need to either get a replacement, or stop bitching about it!"

Jushiro curled up like a puppy, "Well you didn't need to say it like that…"

An announcement rang out, "We will now be having a short 45 minute intermission before the main event of the day; the final bout of the tournament, Naruto Uzumaki vs. Jushiro Moyomoto!"

Naruto stood and stretched out, "Okay, it's almost time to win the whole damn thing. All I have to do is beat Big Boss' ass… Easy." Naruto smiled at Kakashi, "Another hour and I'll for all intents and purposes be a chunin!"

Kakashi eye-smiled at Naruto, "Naruto… I'm very proud of you, I honestly didn't think you would make it this far. I thought you would lose to Neji in the first round. I'm sorry."

Naruto waved him off, "Everybody thought I was going to lose in the first round, it's no big deal."

Kakashi looked pitiful, "How did you get stronger? Ebisu told me he couldn't find you to train you?"

Naruto yawned, "I found Zabuza the first day and got him to train me. Then there was that pervert guy, that was pretty interesting."

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow, "Pervert guy?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah I found him peeking at girls at the hot springs. After that he trained me for a bit, taught me how to summon toads… That was pretty cool."

Kakashi double-taked, "Toads? Naruto who was this person?"

Naruto looked to be in thought, "He said he was a toad sage… J-something… A sannin…"

Kakashi picked Naruto up, "You mean Jiraiya!"

Naruto nodded, "Yep! That's the guy. He was pretty weird."

Kakashi dropped Naruto and backed away, 'Naruto was trained by Jiraiya… He was even allowed to sign the toad contract.'

Naruto shook his head before walking away, "Okay… I've got to piss again, I'll be back."

Sakura put her hand to her face, "Naruto we didn't need to know that."

Naruto grinned back, "Maybe, but your reaction is what I strive for."

XxX

Gaara was placed in a hospital bed, still slipping between consciousness. The Anbu who had carried him to the hospital appeared by his bedside, "Wow Gaara, Naruto-kun really did a number on you didn't he?" Gaara's ragged breaths were his only response. The Anbu pulled out a syringe, "This is just to help you… Get your mind right so to speak. It shouldn't take too long to work."

As he injected Gaara with the syringe he activated Shosenjutsu (Mystical Palm Technique) and began healing Gaara, "Don't worry Gaara, you'll be in top shape by the time we need you."

**Chapter 20 in the house. Next week is Spring Break, I will be going to the beach, not really to party, I have to corner my friend in a fight, but hey! Who says I can't chill out afterwards? Besides it is still cold as hell around here, I doubt that the beaches in Virginia will be in condition to do anything if the way things look now are any indication. **

**I need groceries… bad. All I have in my dorm are four cups of ramen, that is nothing! I'm broke as hell and I need to live off of four bowls of ramen for 6 more days. My goodness the fun things that college exposes you to… Like STARVATION!**

**Enough with my trials and tribulations, hope you all continue to enjoy my story. If the reviews are any indication I don't have any detractors so that's cool. **

**Kenchi out.**


	21. The Brothers of Destruction

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I am currently constructing a time machine and am planning to go back in time with all of my future-ass knowledge and save the world, me not owning these things will be one of the personal things I remedy… Because I need that money man.

**Chapter 21: Brothers of Destruction**

The arena was abuzz for the hour long reprieve from the tournament. The buzz was how unbelievable it was that the 'demon brat' somehow fought his way to the final round against two enemies perceived to be far beyond his abilities. Now he would be facing off with his outsider 'brother' to find a victor of the exams final stage this year.

As confident as Naruto was in his promotion Jushiro was not so sure about his own, "Oh this sucks! I'm not getting promoted this time!"

Shikamaru sighed and walked over to the currently freaking out white-haired youth, "Why don't you think you're getting promoted this year? You're in the finals."

Jushiro stomped his foot on the ground, "Because I fought like shit in both of my fights. I don't even have the underdog appeal that the brat has going into this match, I'm supposed to have made it this far! This is my last chance to prove my kick ass-ness to the entire village, and I couldn't have picked a worse opponent for it."

Shikamaru raised his eyebrow, "Why? It's Naruto, didn't you train him?"

Jushiro slouched, "Yeah… For a while, but then we kind of split off before he graduated, now I only know what he can do from seeing him fight. Not good for me, he'll pull some random move out of his ass and probably beat me with it."

Tenten walked up and tugged on his shirt. Jushiro turned to face the girl, "Yes can I help you?"

She looked at him in an excited fashion, "Yes, I learned what I needed to know can I have my weapon made by you now!"

Jushiro stepped back, "Um, okay what did you learn from today?"

Tenten took a serious look, "Speculation doesn't mean much. Your brother wasn't highly touted and no one thought he deserved to get this far, but now he's this close to winning the whole thing. I know not to just go off of what others say about people, I need to make my own thoughts on them."

Jushiro nodded, "You got it. But just for asking's sake, what do you think of my brother?"

Tenten shrugged, "I think he's an idiot… An idiot that can fight, and he isn't a bad guy, he's actually kind of cool."

Jushiro smiled, "Well then I guess I can't deny you that weapon now can I? Come by our house later and tell me what you want." Tenten smiled and nodded.

Jushiro turned and saw Neji actually talking to Hinata, 'That little bastard really can change people for the better…'

XxX

Naruto was heading back to the area all of the other genin were populating grumbling, "You'd think that if I took a piss already today I wouldn't dribble, but lo and behold…"

Naruto raised his sight to see the crowd come back into view just in time for an announcement, "Our intermission period is over, it is now time for the main event!" The crowd roared for this announcement as a smile came to Naruto's face.

"It is time for the final bout, Match 8: Naruto Uzumaki vs. Jushiro Moyomoto!"

Naruto smiled as he ran over to his friends before he went to fight, "Alright game on! I can't lose, I'm too legit to quit!"

Sakura came up to him with a smile, "I counted you out too many times before Naruto and I'm sorry. But now I believe in you, go win!"

Naruto nodded and grinned at her, "You know it Sakura-chan, I can't lose!"

Kiba, Chouji, and Shikamaru came up, Kiba clapped him on the shoulder, "You go win this one for the rookies you hear me man! You've got it in the bag!"

Naruto gave Kiba a thumbs up as he smirked at him. Shikamaru scratched his head, "As troublesome as it would be to cheer for you, I hope you win this one Naruto."

Chouji nodded in agreement as Naruto rubbed his head, "Gee I didn't know everyone was counting on me to win this thing."

Naruto was next interrupted by Rock Lee, "YOSH! Naruto-kun! Show this crowd and all of us exactly how bright your flames of youth burn!"

Naruto smiled uncomfortably and backed away, "Um… Okay Lee… I'll do my best down there to win."

Lee closed the distance between them, "YES NARUTO-KUN I KNOW YOUR YOUTHFULNESS WILL WIN OUT TODAY!"

Tenten pulled Lee off of him, "Lee leave Naruto alone, he doesn't need you scaring the hell out of him before a fight like this."

Lee lowered his head and slinked into the background. Tenten shook her head before giving Naruto a smile, "So go do it Naruto. Win or lose you've done a lot today."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Yeah you're right… This has been a long-ass day. It's like this entire day has taken like a week's worth of time to get through. Of course I'm crazy as hell so who knows?"

Tenten giggled as she waved and walked away. Naruto continued down the steps to see Jushiro holding Haku, "Haku-chan when did you get here?"

Haku looked up and smiled at Naruto, "Hi Naruto-kun, I just got here and I have to say, I'm excited, I've never seen you two fight for real before."

Jushiro gave her a squeeze to make her giggle, "Oh the runt can't take me, he's never beaten me before and he never will. Will you runty?"

Naruto gritted his teeth, "When will I get your respect Big Boss?" J

ushiro smirked, "When your pansy ass can beat me in a fight you piece of dry ejaculant."

Naruto stepped up and Jushiro let Haku go so he could get in his face, "I'm glad you decided to live in Konoha Big Boss, because I can't imagine living in a world where I can't kick your ass."

Jushiro chuckled, "Well then I guess you won't like this world either after I'm done with you."

The brothers went nose to nose, "I'm gonna kick your ass Big Boss…."

"I'm gonna beat the whiskers off of your face…"

"I'm gonna beat some color back into your hair…"

"I'm gonna stomp that stupid look off of your face…"

"I'm gonna mash your face into dough and make gorilla biscuits…"

"I'm going to hit you so hard your descendants are gonna grab the back of their heads and go 'what the hell was that?'"

"You're a douchebag."

"You're a pussy."

"You eat pu-"

Jushiro slapped his hand over Naruto's mouth, "Okay you're getting kind of personal now kid shut the hell up."

Haku sweat-dropped and walked between them, "Okay get in the ring… You two are going to kill each before the fight even starts." Naruto and Jushiro growled at each other before huffing and turning away.

Naruto was tapped on his shoulder and turned around to face a blushing Hinata, "Hinata-chan? What's up is everything all good or what?"

Hinata took a deep breath and leaned in to kiss Naruto on the lips. After a few seconds she pulled back looking almost completely red, as was Naruto. Hinata noticed her effect on Naruto and smirked, "That w-was for g-good luck… We all know how much you need it."

Naruto touched his lips and nodded dumbly, "Y-y-yeah H-Hinata-chan, o-of course."

The two stood by each other unable to make eye contact until the silence was broken. Jushiro's laughter broke through the awkward scene, "Oh man runt, finally! You've just take your first step towards actually being a man! Now all we need to do is get you laid… Maybe your new girlfriend would like to help you with that?"

Hinata fainted from the embarrassment while Naruto snarled at his brother, "You son-of–a-bitch! I'll kill you!" Jushiro chuckled until Naruto tackled him over the barrier into the battlefield.

The crowd mobbed the edge of the barrier to look at the two brothers rolling in a cloud a dirt shouting obscenities at the other. Genma tried to get them to break it up but just ended up getting sucked into the conflict himself.

XxX

Orochimaru looked at the scene below and sweat-dropped, 'That's the kid that ruined my plans? Seriously? How is this village still the strongest in the elemental countries?'

Hiruzen looked out and gave a mirthful chuckle, "Well now, you're in for a treat my wayward student. You actually stuck around to see the end of our little competition. Hopefully later you can come with me to get reacquainted with Ibiki and Anko, I just know she's dying to see you again."

Orochimaru growled, 'Laugh it up for now old man… My ambition isn't far gone yet, Kabuto will come through for me, this village will burn by the end of the day.'

XxX

Genma finally ended up separating the two, not without obtaining a few bruises, and was holding them apart, "Alright both of you calm down or I'll disqualify you both right now!"

Naruto and Jushiro stopped fidgeting and settled for glaring at each other. Genma spoke up, "Alright then. The final fight of the day, match 8: Naruto Uzumaki vs. Jushiro Moyomoto. Are you both ready?" He saw them nod, "Then begin!" He leapt out of the way.

Naruto and Jushiro stared at each other as the crowd roared. Jushiro finally spoke, "So here we go…"

Naruto didn't take his eyes off of him, "Yep… So how are we going to do this huh?"

Jushiro shrugged at him, "I don't know? Beat the fuck out of each other for an hour or two until one of us can't get back up? How about that plan?"

Naruto dead-panned, "Wow Big Boss, you're brilliant, that's a real chunin way to go about things… How did you think of that one?" Naruto sarcastically snapped at him.

Jushiro ignored him, "Ah it just came to me brat." Jushiro rubbed his nose with a smirk, "And now I'm gonna have to stomp you out like a dirty cigarette. Time for me and Haku-chan's revenge."

Naruto set into his muay thai stance, "Bring it on Big Boss, it's been a while since you've fought me. I'm not the same little punk you met six years ago, I'm powerful, and I'm finally going to kick your ass."

Jushiro laughed as he set into his own stance, "You're really going to come at me with the hand-to-hand style I taught you? You're an idiot kid. Bring it on."

Naruto ran forward to initiate contact. The fight began with Naruto summoning 5 Kage Bunshin to swarm Jushiro. As the original Naruto ran in with a thrust kick. Jushiro dodged and was assaulted by a clones' flying kick that he put up his forearms to block. 2 clones took advantage of his situation and slugged Jushiro in the body. As the air left his body he lashed out at the offending clones with a round-kick that took them both out.

As he set his foot he grabbed the foot of the clone that launched the flying kick and slammed it to the ground to dispel it. Naruto and his three clones took a triangle formation around Jushiro, one clone transmutated a wave of earth to attack Jushiro. Jushiro leapt over the attack and saw another clone jump into the air with its blade-arm set to attack. Jushiro activated his cestus and blocked the clone's attack with his fist, as he fell back to the ground he punched the clone with his other arm to dispel it.

As he landed he stared down Naruto and his final clone, "Naruto I thought you could make a shit-load of clones. You send 5 at me and expect to beat me? You are really underestimating me kid."

Naruto shook his head, "Not really, making all of those clones just so you'd break out a big ass attack to get rid of them would just waste my chakra. I know I have too much chakra to waste, but still; if you have a wallet full of money do you just throw some out just because you can?"

Jushiro shook his head, "Okay runt I'll accept that, but take this!" He ran at the original Naruto and turned the edge of the cestus into a curved blade. He charged Naruto down before leaping at him while twisting through the air, "Zureru Maku (Sliding Roll)!"

Naruto hastily created a dozen clones to block Jushiro's flying attack, but he just cut right through the makeshift wall, as he rolled back to his feet he cut the remaining clones that tried to swarm him into smoke. He taunted Naruto as he ceased to spin, "Well runt, is that all you've got for me? I'm disappointed, I expected some cool tricks. You know, some kick ass explosions, some big jutsu… I guess that huge water dragon you hit Gaara with was your one big move eh kid?"

Naruto chuckled, "Oh Big Boss, bigger isn't always better, I mean I'm sure Haku-chan told you that already I know it."

Jushiro fumed, "Goddamn you runt I'm gonna make you fucking pay for that crack!" Jushiro ran in to attack once more. "Get ready to pay!"

Naruto transmutated a halberd from the ground and set himself in a defensive stance, "Like I said already; bring it on Big Boss."

Jushiro again attempted his leaping Zureru Maki on Naruto with his bladed cestus. Naruto set his halberd in a position to block the attack, but when the attack made contact the halberd broke. Naruto tried to shift his body to the side to avoid the attack, but the speed of Jushiro's roll was too much as it cut into the side of Naruto's body.

Naruto screamed in pain as the blade ripped into his hip and carved through. Jushiro rolled through back to his feet and kept his back turned to Naruto as the blonde collapsed to the ground beginning to bleed out onto the dirt. Jushiro flicked the blood off of his blade before turning it back into the cestus, "Sorry little guy, but I can't really afford to mess around with you this time. I screwed around too much in my last two fights, this is my last real shot to wow some people so I can't go easy on you to start."

Naruto twitched and grunted on the ground, 'Damn that one really hurt, no joke.' A voice echoed in his head, "**Naruto-kun it should be alright. He didn't cut too deeply, just hold still for a moment and I'll handle it.**"

Naruto grimaced as he felt the demonic red chakra flood the area of his massive wound on his hip. Jushiro turned as he felt the surge of chakra from his brother, "So your tenant is handling the damage to the building huh?"

Naruto picked himself up off of the ground as he ignored the blood caking on his thigh and leg. Naruto gritted his teeth as he made the sign for Kage Bunshin, "This isn't over yet Big Boss!"

Naruto created twenty clones all over the field and forced a few to charge Jushiro, this batch Jushiro had a tougher time with in close. The clones seemed to slip his punches and force him to over-extend, leading to him being wide open for counters from the other clones. After one miss in particular he ended up taking two kicks, one to the back to throw him off balance and one to the face after he was propelled forward.

The kick sent him back into a few more clones, as they grabbed him he began dispelling them with back elbows and kicks. After the last clone was destroyed he saw the real Naruto running in to attack. Naruto's punch was dodged as Jushiro had clamped on to his head, placing him in the clinch, "You're still a sucker for the thai plum eh runt?"

Naruto growled as he knew what was next. Jushiro began whipping him around by the neck and thrusting his knee into the boy's head and body, alternating between levels as Naruto guarded one or the other. After a few knees to the head Naruto's nose was busted up and his lip was split from the attack, 'Oh man, what am I going to do to get out of this. Big Boss is right, I am still a sucker for the clinch."

Naruto dropped to his knees out of accumulated damage, but this only made the attack worse, Jushiro was able to hover over Naruto and jerk his head directly into his knees to attack his head. "Come on runt just give up before I knock you out. You just got a girl to kiss you, I doubt she still be so into it if I fuck your face up, I already broke your nose so just quit."

Naruto's eyes glassed over after one particularly nasty shot to the chin, 'Man it's a flash KO, I need to break this now before they stop the fight. There's only one chance left, it's dirty but I'm a ninja, we don't fight fair."

Naruto waited for Jushiro to jerk his body forward one more time, as he did Naruto used the momentum to rise to his feet and planted a headbutt with the top of his head under Jushiro's chin. The desperation move stunned his brother and Naruto placed him in his own clinch, he reared his head back as far as he could and head-butted Jushiro right in the face getting blood splatter all over his own forehead. Jushiro flew back with a fountain of blood following him, grabbing his nose and grunting, "Damn you brat! A head-butt, I should've guessed."

Naruto stumbled trying to gather his wits after being battered with knees to the head for several minutes, "Whatever Big Boss. I have to say, you almost knocked me out just now, a few more knees and I'd be taking a nap right now."

Jushiro wiped the blood from his nose and brow before more began to flow, "Heh, yeah you almost got me too with that first head-butt, and you broke my goddamn nose with the second!"

Naruto spit blood on the ground, "Alright then, enough with the recap, let's keep going." He turned his auto-mail arm into studded club

Jushiro pulled off his necklace as it turned into his chakram and chain-link, "I'm tired, I've been fighting all day. I want to go home, take a shower, and get laid. Let's finish this, no more bullshit kid."

Naruto looked off to the side to see the sun beginning to set, "We really have been here all day huh? Well let's end this before the sun sets and we end up fighting in the dark."

The brothers smiled as the crowd roared once more in approval.

XxX

Kiba yelled out loud in approval, "Oh man this is brutal! These two must have some pent-up issues or something, they're beating the hell out of each other this is awesome!"

Sakura grimaced at the looks of the brother's faces, "How long can they keep this up for? Their faces… They've been beaten to a pulp, especially Naruto." She made fist as she looked on, "How much damage can these two take and stand back up."

Neji shook his head, "And I thought I could beat Naruto down? I barely scratched him in comparison to this. It's going to be a battle of attrition from here on out." A small smile appeared on his face, "It should be a blast of a finale."

XxX

Asuma looked on after taking a drag from his cigarette, "Whoa, this is manly, they're beating the crap out of each other. If that Jushiro kid doesn't get some recognition for this then I don't know what the hell it'll take for him to get promoted. Same for Naruto, he beat two powerful genin that no one would have bet on him to defeat and now he's fighting to the finish with his own brother, I wish I had a camera."

Kurenai sighed, "So the fight is good because two macho idiots like Naruto and Jushiro decided to just stand in front of each other and take turns clubbing each other over the head until one drops? Ugh men are Neanderthals."

Asuma smirked, "You've got it Kurenai, the crowd is loving it, men and women, and you know you love it too. Face it, you want these two to fight till they drop just like everyone else here."

A ghost of a smile appeared on her face, "Maybe… I never said it was boring, I just called you and them Neanderthals."

XxX

Naruto was seeing double as he looked at Jushiro, 'Damn it I can barely see him at all. Kyuubi-chan can you fix me?'

He heard a sigh in his head, "**It won't be soon enough for you to get back into the fight Naruto-kun… You either have to gut it out or just quit, it's a concussion, really nasty one too.**"

Naruto chuckled bitterly, 'Of course it is, it hurts just to talk to you Kyuubi-chan I could've guessed it was a concussion. Fine, the next time I fade out it's going to end, one way or another.'

"**Naruto-kun we can end this if I give you some chakra, he seems kind of out of it.**"

Naruto grunted, 'No Kyuubi-chan I have to beat him myself, this is personal, I end this on my own power, mine alone.'

Jushiro looked at his opponent with red-stained view, 'Damn you Naruto… You really don't know how bad that stupid headbutt fucked me up. I told you it was bad, but you don't even know; my equilibrium is shot to hell right now, the only reason I'm not stumbling is because I found my balance quickly. I can barely see you through all of the blood and I think you gave me a concussion too. I should've known the only thing harder than you arm would be your head.'

Naruto and Jushiro came to a single conclusion, 'This fight isn't going to last the next ten minutes! One of us is getting knocked out!'

Naruto clapped and placed his palms to the ground, however nothing happened. Naruto's eyes widened in shock and realization, 'No! I'm so screwed up I can't even think straight enough to transmutate! Come on damn it go!' Naruto growled before the ground finally began to move, barely 10 feet.

Jushiro walked over and began to break out in a run at Naruto, slipping and stumbling as he advanced, 'Damn it I'm barely better off than him! Alchemy is out for us because we can't even think about what comprises our transmutations quick enough to register an attack!'

Naruto stumbled as he stood back on his feet and began a stumbling charge to meet Jushiro in a clash. Both brothers screamed as they cocked their respective special right arms back. When they both launched their attacks Jushiro opened his hand to grab Naruto's club arm. Just as he was about to smirk and taunt Naruto he ate a left handed punch from Naruto right in the face, "You little fuck! That's how it's going to be!"

Naruto answered by launching another punch that hit home again. Jushiro growled before jacking Naruto's jaw with his own punch. As the two both had their dominant arms caught in a grapple they both began hammering away with their remaining hands.

XxX

Kakashi looked on, "Wow, so it's really going to come down to this." He said in a somewhat impressed voice.

Haku looked at Kakashi as tears began to form in her eyes, "What do you mean Kakashi-san? What are they doing to each other?"

Kakashi looked at the girl, "What started out as a moderately tactical battle has just turned into your average everyday brotherly pissing contest, just turned up all the way to level eleven. Those two idiots don't care about being chunin right now, I believe it's the furthest thing from their minds as we speak, they just want to prove which one of them is the dominant personality. If they did care then they wouldn't be so close right now, if one wanted to they would break the grapple their right arms are tangled in and just keep up the regular battle."

Haku let her tears flow freely, "Why? Why are they doing this to each other? Aren't they family? How can they just pound on each other like this?"

Zabuza appeared and put a hand on her shoulder, "They don't hate each other Haku… They're just too brash to back down. Both of those morons have such abrasive, cocky personalities that they wouldn't back out of this even if this isn't how they wanted it to end."

Kakashi nodded, "They'll just stay like that, punching each other in the face until one falls out."

XxX

Naruto and Jushiro were both dripping blood from the cuts on their faces as they both took turns punching each other in the face. As one boy threw and landed one punch the other would immediately launch a shot of their own to match it.

Jushiro took a shot to the forehead and grunted, 'Damn it… a glorified stalemate… We could be at this for a while.' He shot a punch right back that battered Naruto in his already broken nose

Naruto hissed in silent pain as Jushiro ricoched a fist off of his nose, 'Fuck… Each shot I'm taking is just a little bit off from actually knocking me out, this is retarded.' Naruto gritted his teeth as he fired right back. The punch drilled Jushiro right over his left eye, widening the gash above his brow and spilling more blood.

Both boys ceased fire as the fatigue finally caught up with them as they panted, arms still caught against one another. Naruto smiled, "So, long day huh?"

Jushiro gave him a smirk right back, "Yeah, I never thought I'd say this, but forget getting laid tonight, I need some muscle rub and a good 12 hours of sleep."

Naruto chuckled, "Like Haku-chan would fuck you anytime soon anyway Big Boss, I've been beating you ugly for quite a while now, she'd definitely refrain from messing with you tonight."

Jushiro scoffed, "Like you can talk, your little Hyuuga girlfriend was kissing all over you before, she won't touch you with a ten foot pole after this is over with. Like you'd know what to do with her anyway."

Naruto sighed, "I'm way too tired and hurt to waste energy snapping on you for that stupid ass comment so I'll deal with it later. Let's finish this once and for all."

Jushiro shrugged, "Fine by me runt, goodnight."

Naruto nodded, "Goodnight Big Boss."

Both combatants cocked their heads back as far as they could, and at the apex of the roll of their necks shot them forward with the force of the last of their energy. As their heads flew forward they both had one thought, 'This is over!'

Their skulls met in a sickening crack. Whatever cuts had been healed on Naruto's head had split right back open upon contact. The two just leaned against each other, staring with glassed-over eyes for what seemed like an eternity.

The crowd sat silent waiting for any sign that either boy was alive, or even conscious and coherent at this point. Throughout the stadium, for as long as Naruto and Jushiro were frozen in place they were too.

As their blood finally dripped to the ground the two brothers spoke out in unison as grins broke out on their faces, "Well hot damn then…"

That was the last thought of the fight as both Naruto and Jushiro fell forward and slipped into unconsciousness. As their bodies made a thud off of the ground the crowd remained silent. As Genma moved in to check their vitals it was as if the entire stadium was holding its breath waiting for the result.

Genma checked both of their pulses, still alive. He checked for signs of consciousness, there were none for either. He sighed as he stood and faced the crowd, "Naruto Uzumaki and Jushiro Moyomoto can no longer continue, I rule this bout a draw by double knock-out. There is no winner!"

The crowd erupted in confusion and cheers.

XxX

Sakura looked at Kakashi, "Kakashi-sensei… Has this ever happened before? A double knock-out in the chunin exams?"

Kakashi shrugged, "Not since I can remember… It happened to you and Ino in the preliminaries, but as far as I know this is the first time a double KO has ever happened at the final stage, let alone the very final match, kind of pseudo dramatic if you ask me…"

XxX

Orochimaru, still in disguise as the Kazekage snickered, "Well I didn't think this tournament would be so entertaining after Sasuke-kun fought his match, but the whole thing was actually pretty good."

Hiruzen smirked, "You can always count on those two maniacs for a good battle, I'm glad you enjoyed it Orochimaru, it will be the last pleasurable thing you see outside of captivity."

Orochimaru coughed, "Shouldn't you save the threats until after you announce the promotions Sarutobi?"

Hiruzen looked down to the medics picking up the boys, "Perhaps, are you coming 'Lord Kazekage?'"

Orochimaru smirked under the veil, "Why after you Sarutobi-sensei."

**Chapter 21 over and done, for your reading fix of awesomeness. Next time… Who gets promoted? Who doesn't? And how the hell am I going to pull this one off? Find out next time, whenever my ass has time to post it. It is 3 in the morning and my ass is yawning. Goodnight.**

**Kenchi *yawn* out…**


	22. The Longest Day Ever

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did then I would roll around the streets in my pimped out Lamborghini, whichever model is the most recent when I come into ownership, with the theme music of either anime blasting as I roll through the backstreets of small towns, because that's what heroes do… Superman doesn't have to fly everywhere he goes, but he does, because he's fucking Superman… What is anyone gonna say to him?

**Chapter 22: The Longest Day Ever**

As the stadium was in an uproar over the climax to the chunin exams tournament's controversial finish the sun's hazy light was beginning to set over the horizon. However the uproar wasn't subsiding.

Naruto woke up in the stadium infirmary to the sight of A masked white-haired jonin reading his orange pervert book next to his pink-haired teammate. As he moved his eyes he saw his white-haired brother laying in the bed next to him bitching about the bandage on his nose.

Naruto coughed as he tried to sit up, alerting everyone around that he was awake. Sakura jumped out of her seat as Kakashi closed his book and looked up. Sakura ran over and glomped Naruto as he was gathering his senses, "Sakura-chan, ow, ow, ow! My skull is thumping sweetheart, please let go of me…"

Sakura blushed as she released the whiskered blonde and sat by his bed, "Sorry Naruto, are you alright? That fight was terrible… You two nearly killed each other."

Naruto shrugged, "It was a deathmatch Sakura-chan, whatever happens happens, besides we wouldn't have gone that far against each other, we're still brothers." Naruto groaned as he leaned back and held his head, "Stone me bloody crows. I feel like a just got hit with a crane."

Jushiro sniffed up his broken nose as he turned to Naruto, "You're not the only one runt. You really messed me up out there."

Naruto growled, "Runt? I finally knocked you out! Why won't you call me by my name?" He punched his palm, "I beat you senseless out there, where's the respect?"

Jushiro smirked painfully, "Yeah, I said I'd respect you if you won. You didn't win, we knocked each other out, it was a draw."

Naruto jumped out of his bed, "What! So no one won? Let's go right back out there and do it again I'm ready!"

Sakura cocked her hand back to hit Naruto, "Naruto you idiot you just woke up, how can you fight again!"

Just as she was about to let her punch fly Kakashi stopped her, "Sakura don't hit Naruto, he already has a concussion, he doesn't need more skull trauma to go with it right now, we all know the less brain damage he has the better."

Sakura lowered her hand and put her hands on her hips, "Naruto the fight was over an hour ago, now they're deliberating the promotions for this exam period. It's done… No more fighting."

Naruto lay in his bed calmly, "So can I get back up? I'm fine now I can see straight again. I'm not staying in this damn place all night for observation either." He crossed his arms across his chest, "I freaking hate hospitals, let alone infirmaries."

Kakashi eye-smiled, "I don't think that will be necessary Naruto, the medics fixed most of your external wounds and seeing as how you both seemingly know how to handle your concussions they said to let you both go when you wake up."

Jushiro chuckled, "Yeah we know how to handle the concussions, but I'll be damned if I'm going to do that not sleeping for 24 hours crap, I'll take my chances with not waking up again, I'd actually welcome that because I'm tired as hell." He sat up and began putting on his sandals, "My fucking head is throbbing."

Jushiro's team walked in. Eiko ran up to Jushiro's bed and began to laugh, "Wow Jushiro-kun two black eyes, a broken nose, and you have all of those bruises and cuts? Naruto-kun beat the crap out of you didn't he?" She turned to Naruto and ran up to him to give him a hug, "Aww, my Naru-kun got all beat up by his mean big brother."

Jushiro had a vein tick on his head, "Hey he beat my ass too, where's my fucking hug?"

Mikhail had a ghost of a smile as he shook his head and placed a hand on Jushiro's shoulder. Jushiro looked up at his sensei and sighed, "I know Mikhail-sensei, the girls are always going to side with the little brother over this kind of stuff."

Eiko stuck her tongue out at Jushiro, "My Naru-kun is actually sweet Jushiro-kun, unlike you. And besides, he looks so cute with the bandage on his nose and the band-aid on his cheek, he just looks like he needs a hug."

Jushiro huffed, "Yeah kid I bet your little Hyuuga girlfriend would love to see Eiko wrapped around you right now." He smirked evilly, "I wonder how that scenario would go down, you might lose your girl before you even get any."

Naruto glared at Jushiro while Eiko pulled away to look at Naruto quizzically, "You have a girlfriend Naruto-kun? Really, no joke?"

Naruto stammered, "Yes… Um no… Uh I don't know, maybe." He scratched his head, "I will reserve my right to answer at a future time when all of the facts come out."

Eiko smirked, "Aww that's so cute Naruto-kun! You have a girlfriend now, that's so good for you, it took long enough though, thought you'd never get one."

Naruto jumped out of his bed, "Okay then! Enough about me, we need to go see who got promoted so let's roll." Naruto marched out the door and walked for a few steps before coming back inside, "Um I don't know how to get back from here…"

Everyone in the room sweatdropped.

XxX

Gaara began writhing in his hospital bed as the Anbu stood and watched the results of his drugging, "Well it seems it's almost time, I think I better get a move on soon, I don't think I'll want to be around her when he actually gets going."

As he shunshined away he took one last look back, "Don't disappoint us now Gaara, the plan rests with you."

Gaara began sweating and clawing away at his own body. His gourd in the corner collapsed into sand as all of his sand began to stick itself to his body. As the overwhelming mass of sand stuck to his body he sat up and let out a bestial scream.

He jumped out of his second story window and collapsed onto the ground as sand continued to stick to his body. The sand began taking the shape of his tanuki form, only far more massive than it had been before.

XxX

Naruto stood front and center with the genin that had made it to the final stage, minus Temari, Gaara, and Sasuke. He looked over the other competitors as they stood in the straight line that they were instructed to stand in. He made one observation of the other fighters; Blank, Jushiro, and himself were worse for wear when compared to everyone else that had fought.

The Hokage stood at his box overseeing the entire stadium. As he looked out among the people he smiled at the genin below, "Congratulations to all those that made it this far in the exams. You showed your skill to get here and those that fought and showed the people your talents in combat are truly worthy of one day obtaining the title chunin. However today only a few of you have shown yourself worthy of actually obtaining the rank."

Naruto bounced on his toes as he awaited the ruiling. He knew either him or Jushiro would be obtaining their ranking today.

The old man smiled as he resumed his speech, "I present the oldest genin in the competition, Eiko Tanahashi, Blank Nogami, and Jushiro Moyomoto the rank of chunin." The three mentioned all cheered for the promotion. Eiko hugged both boys which led both of them to cringe in pain due to their injuries.

The Hokage gave his reasoning, "You three should have been promoted the last exam, you showed your skill last time but due to outside interference I could not promote you. This time there was no such travesty as I promised your sensei if you could get this far then you would all be promoted. Congratulations you've all earned it."

Jushiro shrugged off his injuries and posed for the crowd to see in a cocky manner until Eiko shoved him out of exasperation. The team soaked up the cheers of the crowd before falling back.

As the cheers settled Hiruzen cleared his throat, "Now for the next promotion. This boy was a complete dark horse candidate the entire tournament to win and he defeated opponents that no odds would give him an advantage in."

Naruto's eyes widened as he took in the man's words.

He saw Naruto's eyes widen as he chuckled to himself, "He showed the ability to find ways to win in desperate situations, he showed the aptitude to protect those close to him that were under attack, he never gave up despite the fact that he fought three enemies with very distinct advantages over him."

He smiled once more, as he opened his mouth a loud crash was heard in the distance. The crowd began to panic at the sounds of crashing and cracking. Hiruzen looked around as two Anbu landed by his side, "Report, what is happening."

The first one stood to face their leader, "Hokage-sama, a creature resembling the one that Uzumaki-san fought and defeated in the arena is downtown causing havoc and destruction."

He groaned, "You said resembling. What does that mean?"

The other Anbu stepped forward, "It models the creature in all but size sir, this one is far bigger, I would say about six stories high!"

The Hokage paled, "Evacuate the downtown area, get the civilians out, we will find a way to handle this."

As they jumped away feathers seemed to be falling in the arena. Hiruzen looked over at a smirking Orochimaru as he grabbed him and leapt onto a rooftop. Before the Hokage's bodyguards could reach him for assistance Orochimaru's personal guard set up a barrier surrounding the two keeping the Anbu out of the conflict. As one tried to break through he burst into flames.

Kakashi hopped onto the field just in time for Oto and Suna ninja to come spilling over the walls amid the panicked people. Naruto saw the panic and chaos beginning to take place, "Kakashi what's going on here!"

Kakashi threw a kunai at a few of the ninja spilling over the walls, "It's an invasion Naruto. Suna betrayed our alliance and joined with Oto to attack us." He paused to engage a ninja trying to get the drop on him, "All of the jounin are currently fighting, I have orders for all of you on the field. Naruto, you, Shikamaru, and Neji head on into town and try to assist the people as well as engage the enemy forces. Don't get in over your heads though, I'm sending you Naruto because you can make Kage Bunshin to take on many enemies at once. Shino you rendezvous with your squad and assist them."

Naruto nodded as did Shikamaru and Shino. Kakashi looked over at Team Jushiro, "You three are the oldest genin here, you all stay here and help us defeat the majority of the forces attacking." The elder genin nodded at their given orders.

Naruto spoke up, "What about everyone else though? What are they doing?"

Kakashi answered, "They have jobs such as evacuating people from the stadium and defending them from harm. You three have distinct traits that I see will let you accomplish your own mission, now go."

The Konoha ninja nodded and leapt off to begin their assignments.

XxX

Naruto and Shikamaru found Neji in the stands fighting off two Oto ninja. As they landed they saw Neji incapacitate/kill his last opponent with a palm strike to the chest. Naruto ran up to him, "Neji, we need you to come with us, we have orders to go into town and help the people there."

Neji nodded, "Okay, are you two the only ones heading in?" At seeing their nods he spoke, "Okay, let's get going."

At that the three boys jumped towards the arena's main entrance to begin scouring the city.

XxX

Team Jushiro were fighting in the stands against the Oto and Suna ninja trying to attack. The three had taken a widened triangle formation allowing them to fight their own battles but allow assistance if needed.

Blank disarmed a sand ninja attacking with a kunai and grabbed him around the throat, pumping electricity into his body until he started smoking/stopped moving, "Man this is bad, I still feel like crap, thanks a lot Jushiro." Blank saw another ninja running in with his kunai drawn. He shot the hand holding the weapon forcing him to drop it as he fired a second shot with considerably more force right to his chest. Blank smirked, "Clear."

Jushiro let his chakram and chain loose, swinging it at a ninja rushing him, cutting him clean in half, "Well my fucking bad! If I knew we'd be getting attacked by foreign ninja today I wouldn't have broken you off such a piping hot slice of asswhooping!" He paused to duck some shuriken and slice a sound ninja's arm off with his weapon, "Besides it's not like the runt left me with a full tank of gas either. My head is still pulsing."

Eiko was holding off two sand ninja's kunai until she dropped low and spun, almost cleaving them in half, but definitely killing them, "Oh shut up both of you, you can kill all of your guys from a distance, I have to get in close to do it, I have blood all over me." She turned to block a set of shuriken thrown her way.

Blank shot the man who threw shuriken at Eiko with a bolt of lightning and turned to her with a smile, "No offense Eiko, but you actually look kind of hot like that." He turned to see a group of sound ninja bearing down on a group of kids, "Damn it, Raiton: Biribiri Oshiyaru (Lightning Release: Electric Push)!" Blank shot out a shock wave of power that caught the offending ninja and sent them flying out of the way, "Go! Get the hell out of here!"

Jushiro helped the kids get out of the team's battle range, "Aww, Blank has a soft spot for the kids… And he's got a spot for the lady on the squad too."

Blank shrugged as he went back to back with Jushiro, "So? Eiko knows I dig her a bit, big deal, I was into her when you had her."

Jushiro kept his eyes scanning for danger as he kept his smirk on, "Oh really? Then tell her genius, she'd probably date you if you asked her out, she doesn't think you suck or anything."

Blank just kept trying to pick off enemies with his lightning from a distance, "No, I'm not sure she's over you yet. Besides, I kind of want to save her life in a fight before I date her so I have an in already." He looked over his and Jushiro's shoulders to see Eiko backing up towards them.

Jushiro smirked as he saw his female teammate backing up towards them splattered with blood and with her sword out in front, "Hello Eiko my dear. Having fun in the trenches?"

Eiko shot a glare back at Jushiro, "Ha ha. I'm a close range fighter, I'm supposed to get the blood on me you jerk."

Jushiro threw a kunai with an explosive note at a group of Oto ninja, forcing them to scatter, "Oh don't worry about it, Blank thinks you look hot. By the way, Blank wants to know if you want to go out with him after this is all over."

Blank whipped around with a shocked look on his face. Eiko just shrugged, keeping her back turned to the boys, "Okay sure why not? How about next Saturday at 7?"

Blank gaped like a fish causing Jushiro to grin, "Blank says that's cool with him, see you there. Want him to pick you up?"

Eiko blocked the kunai incoming at the team, "Yeah that would be fine, I'm looking forward to it." She moved as Jushiro threw his chakram back out to cut into another foe and walked up to Blank, "You could've asked me yourself you know scaredy cat?" Blank gave her a look of sheer surprise. Eiko patted his cheek as she smiled at him, "Just stay alive for now okay Blank-kun?" Blank dumbly nodded.

The team snapped to attention as Kakashi and Gai landed right by them, Kakashi walked to the trio, "Status report kids."

Jushiro spoke for the team, "Nothing but small fry mon capitan, it's been a cakewalk from the jump… Oh and Blank is going to go out with Eiko." Eiko smiled and waved at Kakashi in confirmation.

Kakashi eye-smiled at them, "Well that's good to hear, the battle seems to be going incredibly well for us considering it was an ambush."

Blank snapped out of his shocked state, "Hey where's Mikhail sensei at?"

Kakashi pointed down on the field where Mikhail and Genma were back to back against two ninja. Mikhail ran forward and grabbed the man by the head, lifting him up and slamming him into a crater through the ground, he wiped the blood off of his hand and went back to his position.

Blank's eye twitched, "Well he seems to be doing just fine."

Gai's attention was fixed to the top of a building, "Oh no… Kakashi look…"

Kakashi turned to look at the building where he saw the barrier with the Hokage inside fighting Orochimaru, "Hokage-sama!" Kakashi turned to Gai, "We have to get in there somehow."

Jushiro looked up with them, "That barrier seems pretty legit… Hey is there a basement in there, or a room right below there?"

Kakashi and Gai looked at each other, "Well… yes there is a room under there. Why?"

Jushiro grinned ferally as Kakashi's eye widened in realization. He grabbed Jushiro's arm and addressed his teammates, "You two are going to have to get by without Jushiro for a moment, we need his help since my own alchemy using student isn't here."

The kids nodded as Kakashi and Gai vanished with Jushiro in tow.

XxX

Naruto, Shikamaru, and Neji ran through the streets looking for a fight. Neji lead the way due to his Byakugan as Naruto and Shikamaru followed behind. The boys kept their eyes peeled for any enemy activity in the city. Neji eventually came to a stop on a rooftop prompting his allies to halt behind him, "Hey Neji what's the matter? What do you see?"

Neji stood frozen, "Naruto… Do you remember that monster thing you fought earlier?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, Gaara. Why what about him? I knocked his ass out."

Neji shook his head, "I think you should've hit him a little bit harder." He pointed out into the distance as they saw a giant sand raccoon-dog stomping through the city.

Shikamaru spoke up, "Um… I vote we _don't _go that way anytime soon."

Naruto shook his head, "No… Somebody has to go stop him, I have to do it myself."

Shikamaru gave him an incredulous look, "Are you insane Naruto? You may have won when he was small, but look at that thing! It'll crush you like an ant."

Neji looked at them both, "He's right Naruto, you're strong but that thing is a monster."

Naruto sighed, "He might be a monster, but he's more like me than you'll ever know. That's the reason that I have to fight him, because I'm the only one who can do it and win. You guys can head back, you don't need to be here for this."

Shikamaru groaned, "Naruto as troublesome as it would be to stay and try to fight that thing we're not letting you stay to do it yourself. We can't back down just because that thing is huge."

Naruto scratched his head, "Fine, but you two aren't fighting with me. There's a reason I'm the one to face off with him, that guy is way too much of a psychopath. He was crazy as hell before he turned into his mini-demon, I don't want to even think about his state of mind now."

Neji and Shikamaru nodded, "Fine we'll stay back and watch, don't get yourself killed out there Naruto, I need to get a rematch against you."

Naruto smirked, "I wouldn't dream of going out like this. Besides, I still have to take your fine cousin out on a date." He got near Neji's ear and whispered loudly, "I think she's into me man."

Neji smirked as Naruto jumped off to engage Gaara's Shukaku form.

XxX

Kakashi ran into the tower on which the Hokage was doing battle while Gai and Jushiro stood outside waiting for the all-clear from the inside. Jushiro decided to grill Gai while they stood watch, "So Gai, you said the old man Kage was fighting, if there's a barrier up it must be a serious opponent. Who is he fighting?"

Gai looked down on the white-haired boy, "He's fighting Orochimaru."

Jushiro was like a deer caught in the headlights, "O-Orochimaru?"

Gai nodded, "Yes Orochimaru, you know? One of the sannin, pale, looks kind of like a snake. A Very unyouthful man."

Jushiro's look slowly changed to one of anger and rage, "OROCHIMARU!"

Jushiro ran into the tower and found Kakashi on the top floor, "Ah Jushiro, just in time, building's clear so you can get started."

Jushiro hopped on the ceiling and began drawing his transmutation circle. Gai came charging into the room, "Jushiro this is highly unyouthful! Why didn't you wait for the order to go inside? Anything could have happened to you."

Jushiro glared at the spandex-clad man, "Orochimaru killed my family and ruined my life! I need to kill him for my parents to rest. That son-of-a-bitch needs to die!" Jushiro finished the circle and jumped down from the ceiling.

Kakashi tried to diffuse Jushiro's temper, "Hey now Jushiro, don't be so bloodthirsty. You just got promoted to chunin today, Orochimaru's been a top level ninja for decades now, you'd be outclassed."

Jushiro sat down, "Well if you won't let me fight him with you I won't open the way."

Kakashi and Gai paled, "You can't be serious? The Hokage needs our help, we need to get up there!"

Jushiro nodded, "I agree, he needs our help, but you won't get mine if I can't go with you to beat that snake to a pulp. The ball's in my court now and I call the shots."

Kakashi and Gai remained hesitant until Jushiro sighed, "Is it really that hard of a decision to make? Listen I told Mikhail-sensei that I wouldn't go out of my way to hunt for Orochimaru, but when life gives you lemons you paint that shit gold. Life has dropped this bastard into my lap and I'm just supposed to let this moment pass me by? No, I'm here to fight, I'm a ninja, just like you two, I'm ready to die if I have to, and if I can go out taking a swing at that piece of shit then that would just be okay."

Kakashi and Gai looked at each other and sighed, "Fine, you can come, but if it gets too hot you need to get out of there. Do you understand me?" Jushiro smiled and nodded as he stood and flicked his ring to activate the transmutation

He gestured towards the hole he made, "Let's not keep the old man waiting shall we?" All three jumped through the hole to the roof.

XxX

Naruto was running on the rooftops adjacent to Shukaku, 'This was a terrible idea! How the hell am I going to beat this thing myself! And where the hell are the other ninja!'

Naruto continued to run as he began to look up at Shukaku's head, he saw Gaara sticking out of the head of the creature. Naruto sighed as he attempted to get his attention, "Hey! Gaara! What the hell are you doing!"

The tanuki looked down to get an eyeful of Naruto, "Uzumaki! Just who I came to see! It's time for me to make good on my promise to kill you!" As he took a swipe at Naruto he jumped onto another rooftop before the hand of sand smashed the building.

Naruto looked on in anger/fear as the hand pulled out, "What the hell is wrong with you!" He screamed at Gaara, "You can't just go around killing people you psycho! I know you have a demon in you too, but you can't do this to people!"

Gaara laughed at the blonde boy below, "You obviously haven't lived the way I have Uzumaki! Tell me, how many assassination attempts have you lived through since you were six?"

Naruto actually put his hand on his chin and thought about it, "Hell I don't know… I stopped counting after they cut off my arm Gaara. I really didn't think things could go much further without them _actually_ killing me."

Gaara looked puzzled, "But you seem nothing like me. You actually care for this village when they've treated you no better than myself in my own. Why?"

Naruto gritted his teeth, "Because I found people to care for. I found people that mean something to me, I fight to protect them, because without them I would be no better than you, I might even be worse."

Gaara growled, "You cannot be powerful fighting for others! You can only be truly strong by fighting for yourself, living only for yourself is the source of true power!" Gaara took another swing at Naruto, destroying the building he was on when he leapt away.

Naruto took off along the streets as Gaara followed hot on his heels, 'Damn it I need to get him out of the city! He'll kill who knows how many people if I can't lead him away.' Naruto began running towards the only place he could think of that would allow him to fight Gaara without worrying about others, the Team 7 training field.

XxX

Hiruzen Sarutobi knew he was screwed, He was doubtful in his ability to defeat his student Orochimaru before he called out the three coffins of the past Kage, he had to stop the last one because if he hadn't then he truly would have had no chance to win. So now he was facing down the deceased Kage that had preceded him, The Shodaime and Nidaime Hokages, Hashirama and Tobirama Senju.

Orochimaru laughed as he turned the bodies into mindless golems meant to kill, "Well Sarutobi-sensei, the only thing I could think of more appealing than killing you myself was to call upon your predecessors to do it for me."

A tear fell from the grizzled old man's eye, "Orochimaru you monster, you truly are pure evil."

Orochimaru only laughed, until an explosion off to the side rocked the rooftop, "What in Kami's name is that!"

A voice came from the smoke, "Well old man, it looks like somebody ordered a bushel of awesome, and I'm here to deliver."

Orochimaru blinked in surprise, "A bushel of awesome… What, may I ask, is a bushel of awesome?"

The smoke cleared as it revealed Maito Gai and Kakashi Hatake in front of a smirking Jushiro Moyomoto. He made a circular motion with his arms, encompassing himself and the two jounin accompanying him, "Right here. Hello… Orochimaru… Do you remember me?"

**Booyah, Chapter 22 up to help start off your week right. Think of this chapter as orange juice to the week that I'm comparing to a day in the morning. And if you don't drink orange juice then that's okay neither do I… Vitamin C is far too expensive on my broke-ass college kid from the hood's budget…. What were we talking about? Oh yeah the chapter… Well… It's up.**

**Review if you'd like, I think it's nice to see reviews, because a few are fucking hilarious. But like I've said before, I'm posting this bitch regardless because this is a great outlet for twisted ideas from my head, I even thought of starting another story, but I'm going to wait until I burn myself out on this one first so I can focus on making both stories kick ass respectively. It's a pretty decent plot if I do say so myself, and I can't wait to get cracking on it, but that's neither here nor there.**

**Kenchi out, I seem to do that a lot.**


	23. Bad Ass Mother 3000

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did then would wake up every morning and fly my big-ass colorful chopper around the city in which I reside to shout through a speaker system in my chopper of the fact that I DO own one of those things and that I have more money than you, because modesty is OVERRATED!

**Chapter 23: Bad-Ass Mother 3000**

All throughout the city battle was rampant. Massive snake summons had breached Konoha's walls moments into the conflict and were driving into the city as more and more leaf shinobi began turning up to combat the giant creatures that were seconded by sound and sand shinobi.

Ibiki Morino was trying to spur the Konoha forces on towards driving back the combined enemy forces, "Come on men! This is our home, we must drive back the enemy! Take back the land that is ours!"

The hostile forces were being barely restrained by the Konoha forces, the surprise attack had put them on the defensive from the start, and many of the ninja were joining the battle late after evacuating the civilians to the mountains, the only thing that gave Konoha the drop on their enemies. With the civilians out of the way the defenders could fight full-scale and only have to worry about property damage instead of inflicting civilian casualties.

The city damage was stacking up as the snakes drove their ways until a massive cry rang out in the air, "Ninja Summoning: Food Cart Destruction!"

A massive toad summon appeared from the air and landed on the snakes as Jiraiya appeared on its back, much to the surprise of many including Ibiki. Jiraiya smirked as he noticed this and launched into his entire introduction, "All right all you baby chicks out there, open those beady little eyes of yours! When it comes to dealing with weird other-worldly freaks and monsters there's no one better than a strange toad sage!"

As the leaf ninja began to cheer at the sight of their very welcome, very powerful reinforcements Jiraiya pulled out his telescope to survey the scene. Off in the distance he saw a massive sand tanuki chasing a blur, upon closer inspection he saw the blur to be Naruto. Jiraiya groaned, "Damn, of course the brat would be the one fighting the biggest damn thing in the battle wouldn't he?"

"Ibiki!" As he sounded off Ibiki appeared by his side on the massive summon, "Ibiki what's the situation right now?"

Ibiki bowed, "Jiraiya-sama, the battle began with an ambush in the stadium to divert attention away from the walls. At the same time Suna had their Jinchuuriki transform into his demon form, however Naruto Uzumaki took to luring it away from the main battle leaving the other shinobi to battle the invaders."

Jiraiya nodded and Ibiki continued, "At the stadium Orochimaru revealed himself as he had been masquerading as the Kazekage and he took to battling Hokage-sama. A barrier had been set up, but intel says that a way inside had been found."

Jiraiya's brow furrowed as he pondered his course of action, 'Damn it. The gaki will need help to fight the Shukaku jinchuuriki, but Sarutobi-sensei needs back-up, that snake Orochimaru has a trick set for him I know it.' Jiraiya composed himself, "Alright you keep up the fight Ibiki, I'll be heading to the stadium to help out there."

Ibiki nodded as he jumped back into his own battle.

XxX

Naruto was panting as he finally hit the tree-line connecting the village to the training areas of Konoha, 'All right almost there, but how the hell am I gonna beat him when I get there? Despite all of my bravado and braze I'm just a rat in a cage.'

Gaara stomped behind Naruto trying to crush his fellow Jinchuuriki underfoot as he kept diverting him from the main part of the village. Gaara wailed wildly as he continued to chase Naruto, "Come back here Uzumaki! Come back so I can kill you!"

Naruto turned back to flip Gaara off, "Yeah because that's a great reason to turn around. I'd have to be some kind of idiot not to turn around so you can kill me." Naruto broke through the span of trees into the open field he intended to lead Gaara to, "Okay, no more running away. It's time to nut up or shut up. I've got to stop him here…"

Naruto watched the giant creature finish crashing through the woods and gulped, "Or else we're all screwed."

Gaara came to a stop in front of Naruto and began cackling as he lorded over the diminutive frame of the blonde demon carrier, "Now Uzumaki, show me your power once more! Show me the power that caused me pain so that I may destroy it!"

Naruto shrugged, "You want me? You've got me." 'Kyuubi-chan give me some juice, at least a tail's worth.'

He felt his power begin to surge, "**You've got it Naruto-kun, coming right up.**"

Naruto smirked as his chakra began leaking out to the extent that a cloak was visible for Gaara to see, "How do you like this you psychopath?"

Gaara looked on as the power continued to build, "Your power… It's, it's …. (Over 9000! Not really, I love that shit)"

Naruto put on a grin as he saw Gaara's resolve falter, "What's wrong? Weren't you going to kill me a second ago? Or did you just lose your nerve, you big sandy pussy." Naruto's fingers twitched in anticipation of Gaara's reaction.

Gaara roared, "I'll kill you Uzumaki!" Gaara allowed the sand from the transformed Shukaku form to rush at Naruto in an effort to smother and crush him. Gaara's bloodshot eyes seemingly screamed for Naruto's gore, "Die Uzumaki! Die so that I can feel my existence."

Naruto transmuted a wall to divert the sand from himself. As the sand spilled around the wall he jumped on top of it to gain some room, but this didn't keep the sand away for long. As he saw the sand beginning to pool around his feet he jumped away and made his handsigns, "Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!"

The sand was seemingly pushed back but seemed to fight its way through the jutsu to reach Naruto, blowing him backwards with heavy force. Naruto's body stopped as he rolled into a nearby river, forcing the sand to retreat. Gaara roared as Naruto sat on the river floor trying to stall for a plan, 'This is not good, he has so much sand he can force it around any defense I come up with, and he can push through my wind attacks. I'm sunk… Wait! Sunk, water, your ass is screwed Gaara because this worked once already, and I have a shitload of water this time.'

Naruto remained under water as he made handsigns, 'Yes! Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!' A water dragon formed around the boy and lifted him out of the river as he directed it towards Gaara's Tanuki head, with him in it. "Hi Gaara!"

Gaara panicked as he frantically drew his sand up to try and defend from the dragon. The dragon crashed into the makeshift wall of sand as Naruto was carried by the dragon's momentum through the wet wall of sand, now silt after the water dragon's pummeling.

Naruto had a huge smile on his face as he landed right next to Gaara on the sand creature's head, "Hi there Gaara! I was wondering, do you have a glass jaw like your brother?" His smile never left his face as he cocked his right hand back.

Gaara's eyes widened as he couldn't move from his sedentary spot on his monster's head. He put up his hands in a flimsy taijutsu defense. Naruto punched right through his guard, drilling him right in the jaw and watched Gaara's eyes roll into the back of his head. Naruto chuckled as he watched Gaara slump over, still stuck in the base of the sand, "I guess you do have a glass jaw huh? Ha! Your family is full of lightweights."

Naruto hadn't realized that the Tanuki still stood, just frozen, however he hadn't noticed that the killing intent slowly began spiking higher as he kept mouthing off, "You aren't as tough as you think you are you know that? I mean Rock Lee beat the pants off of you and all he had was taijutsu, if he knew some ninjutsu your ass wouldn't even be here you know that? You never learned how to fight up close because anyone else would have just kept launching jutsu at you from a distance because your sand scared them."

He patted Gaara on his head as the sand began to stir, but Naruto was still gloating over the boy, "**Naruto-kun you need to get out of there, Gaara-.**"

"Yeah, yeah Kyuubi-chan, later. Right now I'm getting my eight chuckles in on him while I can." He turned his attention back to Gaara, "You need to learn how to take a punch son. That was a love tap!"

Naruto was cut off as he was bucked from the top of the creature's head to the sound of a bloodcurdling yell, "**I'M FREEE!**"

Naruto slid off onto the treetops and tumbled back down to the ground where Shikamaru and Neji ran to his side, "Huh, you actually did follow me didn't you?

Neji and Shikamaru picked him up while Neji turned his Byakugan on to look at Gaara, "Naruto that entire creature is focalized around Gaara, he's the one holding it together, but his vitals say he isn't awake."

Naruto blanched, "What! I thought it was over… Again! I knocked him the fuck out… AGAIN!"

The three Konoha genin watched Shukaku thrash about the trees shouting for blood. Shikamaru groaned, "Um Naruto, I think we should just cut our losses and get out of dodge, I mean you beat him twice already and he won't stay down." Shikamaru and the others crouched low to remain hidden.

Naruto looked over at his lazy comrade, "Shikamaru haven't you ever heard 'the third time's the charm?' All I have to do is beat him one more time and we're done. Besides, I've got chakra to burn."

"You should listen to your friend you know…" The boys turned to see Temari and Kankuro crawling over to join them as Temari spoke again, "When Gaara's like that you can't stop him."

Naruto snorted, "Whatever, I already knocked his ass out once. It couldn't be that hard to do it again after I did it twice already. He's a punk, I'd say you guys need to learn how to take a punch… But for all I know it could just be the boys, your sister looks like she kicks your ass all the time."

Temari smirked as Kankuro seethed in anger, "You idiot… You don't get it. Gaara isn't himself. He's asleep because you knocked him out. Now his inner demon is loose and that is not a good thing. That fucking thing will kill us all before Gaara can wake back up." Temari's face fell as her brother's proclamation hit home.

Naruto shook his head, "You guys need some backbone. Yes he's a scary disgruntled monster, I understand that. But all he needs is to get his ass whipped and he'll be as docile as a kitten. If you guys feel so strongly then stay here with Neji and Shikamaru, I don't need your help if you're too scared to fight, you'll just get killed."

Naruto put his hand on his chin, "**Naruto-kun the Shukaku, I should have told you earlier!**"

Naruto took a short reprieve into his mind, 'What's up Kyuubi-chan? What about the Shukaku, what is a Shukaku?'

In his head he felt Kyuubi pacing around frantically as she began to explain, "**Ok, the Shukaku is one of the Biju, the strongest demons in the world, like me.**"

Naruto almost bounced his head off of the ground, 'Just like you! How the hell am I going to fight a demon just as strong as you!'

He felt a slap on his head, "**Shukaku isn't as strong as me Naruto-kun, not even close. He's just crazy as hell. He's actually the weakest of the tailed beasts, but he's still stronger than humans like you. You just need to wake Gaara up, that should get rid of Shukaku as the dominant personality. And then you can beat his head in as much as you'd like.**"

Naruto sweatdropped, 'I think I would rather just incapacitate him and be done with it Kyuubi-chan, thanks though.' Naruto felt a phantom kiss on his forehead, "**Good luck Naruto-kun.**" Naruto smiled as he snapped out of his trance.

He looked over to see Shukaku shouting, "**Come on! I didn't come here for nothing! Someone come out so I can kill them!**" He threw a temper tantrum as the genin all sweat-dropped.

Shikamaru spoke, "Well at least he doesn't look that hard to outsmart… We need to come up with a plan for you Naruto." He stopped his train of thought as Naruto raised his hand with a smile on his face.

He shook his head at the genius, "No I don't need a plan, I already know what I need to do. You guys just need to get the hell out of here, far, far from here… Because this is going to be huge."

Temari blushed as she crawled over to him, "Even though you're way younger than me, I think this is the bravest thing I've ever seen anyone do so…" She kissed him on the cheek before she turned to leave.

Kankuro shook his head, "I would beat your ass for that… But I really don't think that if you're crazy enough to do this that I could scare you or beat you so good luck." He turned to follow his sister.

Neji put a hand on his shoulder, "We'll leave it to you then Naruto, we're counting on you."

Naruto groaned, "Yeah I know you are and it sucks… I feel like I'm the Hokage already as much as you people have been putting stock into me today. Fine, you and Shikamaru follow the Suna kids, capture them, without a fight if you can. I'll finish this myself."

Shikamaru and Neji nodded and headed off as Naruto looked at his opponent and groaned as he cracked his neck, "One more time with feeling…"

XxX

Orochimaru looked over the new arrivals, Kakashi Hatake and Maito Gai. He wasn't even sizing up the glaring boy with them as he was trying to factor the two powerful jounin into his battle strategy. It wasn't until he began feeling KI rolling from the boy's direction that he even registered his presence.

He looked into the white-haired boy's glaring red eyes, "You look familiar to me boy however I'm sure I've never met you before. Who are you?"

Jushiro chuckled bitterly, "Well I'm pissed you don't remember me, but you said I look familiar so at least you remember my parents you snake-looking son-of-a-bitch."

Orochimaru wasn't mad that the boy had spoken to him so disrespectfully, "Who are you child? How do you believe you know me?"

Jushiro shook in anger, "I am Jushiro Moyomoto… And I know you because you killed my family six years ago you trash!" The older leaf ninja looked at the boy who was an angry mess.

Kakashi tried to get the boy to settle down, "Jushiro calm down. You're usually very mature, but right now you are blinded by your anger. If you fight Orochimaru while he's in your head like this you cannot win. I let you stay because you were so sure you could handle it."

Hiruzen looked at his ninja in shock, "Kakashi you allowed the boy to come here! This is far out of a newly minted chunin's league!" He couldn't believe Kakashi had been irresponsible enough to allow Jushiro to fight Orochimaru.

Kakashi looked at the old Kage sheepishly, "Yeah… Jushiro kind of wouldn't let us up here unless he took him with us to fight. Let's just say he was very persuasive…"

Hiruzen huffed as he looked at Gai who seemed to be starstruck to say the least, "Gai, are you alright?"

Gai pointed a trembling hand out at Orochimaru's 'companions,' "Hokage-sama… Those are- Those are…"

Hiruzen cut him off, "Yes Gai those are my predecessors. I'm actually glad you two are here, you can help me out…" A troubled smirk appeared on his face, "I was wondering exactly how I was going to get out of this one."

Gai steeled himself, "Yes Hokage-sama, if they are under Orochimaru's control then I cannot hold back, I will fight them full power if I must."

Hiruzen nodded and smiled at Gai, "Yes. Now both of you, prepare to break off and fight the other two, I will take Orochimaru myself, he's my responsibility."

Jushiro shouted over the order, "NO!" As the others turned to face him he continued, "You will not be fighting him alone old man. I'm fighting too. I've got my own bone to pick with that cross-dressing pedophile."

Orochimaru laughed, "A child like you believes that you are my match in battle? You must be eager to throw your life away then boy."

Jushiro smirked, "Maybe… If I can go out knowing that I somehow took you with me then maybe I would be okay with that. But you'd be wise not to underestimate me, my only word of warning to you."

Hiruzen interrupted the banter, "Enough talking. Orochimaru… You have remained in our plane of existence far longer than I should have allowed you, it ends tonight."

Orochimaru cackled, "Yes Sarutobi-sensei I agree… It will end tonight. By sunrise tomorrow you will all be dead, and Konohagakure will burn to the ground by my hand. I will see to this myself."

The men took their stances as Kakashi took off to fight the Nidaime Hokage as Gai took on the first. Jushiro stood still as he realized that only Hiruzen Sarutobi and Orochimaru were left remaining to engage one another. Jushiro began to sweat as the tension from awaiting a massive conflict began to get to him. His fingers began stirring as he began subconsciously reaching for his necklace.

The Hokage's commanding voice prevented Jushiro from launching an attack, "Jushiro! Stay your hand for now." As he saw Jushiro lower his hand he kept speaking, "I know nothing I can say will make you leave, and even by threat of punishment it would be a moot point if I were to die here. I want you to stay out of this, if you attack don't rush in, and above all else stay alive. Naruto needs you more than you know so don't go dying on him here do you understand?"

Jushiro nodded as Hiruzen smiled, "Good, now let me show you what the Hokage is capable of."

XxX

Naruto had been spreading his clones out along the woods transmuting irrigation paths around the woods from the river. As he found the area around the clearing surrounded by running water Naruto took to activating his plan. Naruto took note of his clones peeking out through the woods before he signaled, "Clone salvo one… Fire!"

An echo rang out around the forest, "Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Dragon Jutsu)!" Several water dragons came out from the trees and collided with Shukaku. Naruto got his clones back by their respective points and shouted again while Shukaku pulled himself together, "Clone second salvo… Fire!"

As the clones called up more dragons Shukaku had had enough, "**I'm sick of you pests! Die! ****Fuuton: Renkuudan (Wind Release: Drilling Air Bullet)!**" The burst of wind from Shukaku overwhelmed the dragons and even caught a few clones in the blast.

Shukaku cackled as he looked at the destruction he had caused, "**Yes! More, more! I'll kill as many as you throw at me!**"

Naruto grumbled, "I can fucking see that… Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!" As the shout rang out a massive puff of smoke appeared in the clearing. As the smoke blew away it revealed Gamabunta with Naruto on his head, "What's up chief? I need your help."

Gamabunta turned his eyes up to look at his blonde summoner, "**You? Why did you find it so important to call me?**"

Naruto deadpanned a look at Gamabunta and pointed at Shukaku, whose tail was waving in anticipation. Gamabunta shrugged as he took a puff of his pipe, "**I see… Well I don't see why I should fight then. Why would I want to fight a guy like that?**"

Naruto kept up his deadpan look, "Because if you don't fight then this guy'll squish me like a grape and you told me to call you if I need your help." Gamabunta's expression didn't change. Naruto sighed as he cupped his hands to his mouth and looked over to Shukaku, "Hey Shukaku! The toad over here said you were abastard raccoon and that he could whip your ass with one hand tied behind his back!"

Shukaku stood up, "**What? I'll kill you! **** Fuuton: Renkuudan!**"

Gamabunta dropped the pipe from his mouth in shock as Naruto smiled and patted him on the head, "There you go! Now it _is_ your problem! Have fun!"

Gamabunta jumped out of the way of the attack and drew his sword, "**I really think I'm going to hate you as my summoner gaki.**" Naruto stood on his head as he rushed in, "Blah, blah, blah, less talky more stabby."

Gamabunta ran in and lopped off Shukaku's arm, however Shukaku latched on to Gamabunta with his remaining limb and held tight. Naruto saw Shukaku sucking in air and he jumped off of Gamabunta's head onto his shoulder, "Boss I've got it, I'll get you out!"

Naruto clapped and transmuted Shukaku's arm to glass. Gamabunta picked up his sword and smashed it broadside into Shukaku's arm to shatter it. As Shukaku recoiled in shock Gamabunta jumped back, "**Aww ain't that pretty gaki?**"

Naruto chuckled with Gamabunta, "Yeah, I guess since his host has a glass jaw a glass arm would be pretty fitting."

Shukaku growled at that statement, "**Shut up! ****Fuuton: Renkuudan!**"

Gamabunta took a deep breath, "**Suiton: Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Release: Liquid Bullet)!**" The two attacks exploded against one another as Gamabunta ran through the smoke.

Naruto crouched for a jump, "Okay Boss Toad, just get me close so I can wake up our sleeping psychopath over there."

As Gamabunta collided with Shukaku Naruto leapt off and flew towards Gaara with his fist cocked back, "Wake up time you bitch!" Naruto cracked his fist off of Gaara's jaw and snapped his head back.

Gaara's eyes shot open as his cheek began to swell up, "No! I will not cease to exist!" He shot out sand appendages from the tanuki's head and grabbed onto Naruto's arms and legs.

Naruto huffed as he tried to break free before he shouted, "Ahh! You are really starting to piss me off! Let go you bastard!" Naruto cocked his head back and head-butted Gaara, busting both of them open.

The force of the headbutt vaporized the sand tanuki as they both fell to the ground. Naruto grabbed a hold of Gaara as they both fell to the earth and used him to break his fall. Gamabunta smiled as he dispelled himself, "**Not bad kid… Not bad at all.**"

As they both hit the ground Gaara twitched to escape Naruto's grip. Naruto held him down and transmuted his arm into an axe and held it high as Gaara stopped moving, "Go on… Give me a good reason."

Gaara's eyes widened as he faced the gravity of the situation, "But why? Why are you so powerful? I fought for myself for all my life and I still couldn't win against you. What gives you so much strength?"

Naruto took a deep breath and shook his head, "Whoa… A headbutt after suffering a concussion is a really bad idea. What did you say?"

Gaara repeated himself, "Why are you so strong if you don't fight for yourself? I don't understand what gives you strength."

Naruto closed his eyes, "I fight not for myself. I fight for the people around me that I consider precious to me. My friends, the people that are truly special to me are my motivation in battle."

Gaara's eyes widened at his bold proclamation, "I don't understand… Why would you do this for anyone other than yourself." Gaara listened intently to Naruto, as if his words were air.

Naruto smiled, "Because they saved me from the hell that my life used to be Gaara. I used to be like you, I lived the same way you did; always alone, always with the glares, the names, the violence. It really scared me when I found out about you, because I was damn close to ending up just like you."

Naruto took a breath, "My precious people let me see that a life full of hate and anger isn't a life worth living. That's why I will fight to protect them." Naruto locked eyes with Gaara in a fierce gaze, "If you ever try to harm my friends or my village… I'll kill you."

Naruto stood up with a groan as Gaara took in all of the information, "Yeah… You're gonna stay there for a while. I just beat the piss out of you three fucking times today and if I have to get my ass in gear to do it one more time I really will kill you. Don't fuck with me son… I'm bathed in the devil's menstrual blood." Naruto walked over to a tree and sat down against it, "Seriously… You just lay there and mull what I just said in your crazy little dome you got it?" Gaara nodded.

Naruto looked up at the sky as the sounds of the conflict steadily began dying down, 'I wonder how the battle is going elsewhere…'

XxX

Jushiro picked himself up off of the ground slowly as he spit a bloody glob on the rooftop. He had tried to engage Orochimaru upon finding an opening, however it was just a feint. As he launched his chakram and chain out at the snake sannin he dodged and twisted around the attack until he was close enough to kick Jushiro in the chest, sending him flying across the battlefield, just short of the barrier that would have ensured his death.

He stood to the fire in his chest, a sign of some internal injury, to see Gai and the Shodaime Hokage still locked in combat. Gai was stuck dodging the Mokuton attacks of the patriarch of Konohagakure, closing the distance to inflict his attack was far more difficult than he would have liked.

Kakashi wasn't doing too much better against the Nidaime Hokage, his mastery of suiton jutsu were keeping Kakashi at a distance even with his Sharingan. Jushiro could see Kakashi sweating and huffing, 'He must be running low on chakra, he's overusing his Sharingan.'

Jushiro didn't need to look back to know that Hiruzen wasn't faring as well as he'd like. As he looked around the battlefield he drew a shallow breath, 'I have to try it… It's their only chance to survive. I can't let Orochimaru do this to the rest of the world.'

Jushiro made the ram seal and spoke, "Kage Bunshin Jutsu!" As his copy appeared he mentally thanked Naruto for the crash course in the jutsu. He and the bunshin pulled out chalk and began running around the rooftop as fast as they could, taking note to stay out of sight and direct range of the battles.

Hiruzen was defending against Orochimaru's strokes with Kusanagi using Enma's staff form, "**Sarutobi I can't take too much of this for too long!**"

Hiruzen jumped back as Orochimaru swallowed his sword and laughed, "Sensei this is what age gets you. There is no doubt in my mind that if we had engaged one another fifteen years ago then I would not be in full control the way I am right now."

Hiruzen gritted his teeth as he saw a shadow and noted it to be Jushiro. Before he could motion for the boy to leave he held up a circle slip and a piece of chalk as he smiled at the old man. Before he could respond Jushiro ducked back into the foliage made by the Mokuton jutsu.

The old man looked back at Orochimaru before dropping a smoke bomb to fall back. As he hid he spoke to Enma, "Enma, this is no longer about beating Orochimaru ourselves. We can only hope to hold him back right now."

Enma raged at the old Kage, "**Sarutobi** **you can't be telling me you're going to give in to that damnable snake! You couldn't have possibly lost that much of your edge**!"

Hiruzen snapped at his faithful summon, "Hold your tongue Enma! I am not surrendering to Orochimaru nor am I admitting him as my better. I am just playing his own game. I was going to seal him alongside myself, but at this time I'm not sure how it would do against him, he is younger and his soul may possibly be stronger than my own."

Enma looked up at his summoner, "**So then what do you intend to do Sarutobi?**"

The old man smirked, "I am simply putting my faith in the younger generation old friend. We need to keep fighting for as long as we can, eventually we must find a way to get everyone out of here."

The ape summon blinked, "**Alright Sarutobi, lead on. I trust your judgement against that snake, hopefully for the last time…**"

Orochimaru came bursting into the scene narrowly missing his old sensei with a slash of his sword, "Ah Sarutobi-sensei… You wouldn't happen to be running from me would you?"

Sarutobi rapidly ran through his hand signs, "Wouldn't dream of it my wayward student, Katon: Karyuu Endan (Fire Release: Dragon Flame Bomb)!" A flamethrower-like stream of fire flew from the man's mouth, setting many of the trees ablaze, however he missed Orochimaru, instead coming into contact with an Earth Bunshin.

Hiruzen stayed on his guard as he looked around for Orochimaru, "You cannot win Ororchimaru. The battle is over. You have failed, your attack has been repelled, and you will not survive the day."

Orochimaru cackled, "Seneijashu (Striking Shadow Snakes)!"

Orochimaru appeared from behind the Hokage and fired out his snakes from his sleeves. Enma transformed and took the hit for Sarutobi before transforming into a cell, "**You aren't going anywhere you traitorous bastard!**"

Orochimaru crossed his arms, "Do you really expect a summon as decrepit as you yourself sensei to hold me here?"

Hiruzen walked up to the cage, "No not really, I don't expect Enma to keep you here for long… But then again he won't have to, the battle is won."

Orochimaru cocked his eyerbrow, "What are you babbling about you fossil?" He motioned to the cage, "This is the worst you can do?"

Sarutobi walked into the trees that had spawned on the rooftop, "Perhaps… Maybe not… But for now I need to ensure the safety of my shinobi."

As he ran off into the distance he saw Kakashi and Gai engaging the two Kage of the past. Hiruzen made two clones to divert the attention of the soulless golems as he called out to the jounin, "You two escape now! The issue is resolved, you need to get out."

Gai stammed, "But Hokage-sama-."

Hiruzen snapped at the green-clad man, "Get out of here now!"

As Kakashi and Gai leapt back to the hole Orochimaru began engaging the original Hiruzen as Gai and Kakashi escaped, "Ah are you giving up old man? Do you now realize that you cannot defeat me?"

Hiruzen frowned however internally he smiled to himself, 'I'm counting on you child.'

XxX

Kakashi and Gai exited the tower and jumped onto the roof to look inside the barrier only to find Jushiro crouched on the rooftop glaring at one of the four bodyguards forming the barrier with a smirk, "You think this barrier can keep your stupid master from getting his ass reamed? I got something that even his vermin ass can't survive."

The grey haired one with make-up chuckled, "Sure you do you Konoha trash. Go off and die somewhere, let the elites work."

Jushiro turned around to see Gai and Kakashi, "Ah, about time, check it out. The show is about to begin."

Kakashi walked up to Jushiro, "Why are we out here? The Hokage told us to leave the battlefield. And what are you talking about?"

Jushiro smirked, "You remember that attack that I used on Raiga back in Wave?" Kakashi raised his eyebrow as Jushiro chuckled, "Well if this doesn't end the fight now then I'll go back to being a genin."

He rubbed his hands together, "Alright, thanks to the first Hokage's jutsu I have plenty of life to work with here." He flicked his ring, "Ultimate Technique: Jushiro's Final Technique: Big Fucking Transmutation!"

As a massive circle within the barrier glowed he spotted Hiruzen grappling with Orochimaru, Jushiro summoned his Kage Bunshin and closed the hole he made to enter the roof. Hiruzen noted this as he moved towards the edge of the barrier, to find a smiling Jushiro making some hand signs. He ended up using kawarimi to replace Hiruzen with his clone as Ororchimaru looked on, "So you do realize how you have little chance of victory. You had your underling evacuate your elites to escape!"

Hiruzen chuckled as he patted Jushiro on the head, "Jushiro-kun isn't some mere underling Orochimaru."

Jushiro grinned darkly, "Or did you not notice that the roof is fucking glowing?"

Orochimaru looked around and panicked, "What did you do you pathetic weaklings!"

Jushiro feigned hurt, "Why I just decided to end our little reunion Orochi-teme! You want to be like an immortal god? Well I'll send you to meet one personally right now!"

As he turned around a massive gate with archaic writing appeared as the trees within the barrier vanished, "What is this!"

Jushiro closed his eyes, "Consider it to be as close to forbidden alchemy as I'm going to get. This is the Gate of Truth… You cannot escape… Prepare to die."

The Gate slowly opened as black tendrils shot out to grab the first two Kage of Konoha into the darkness as they flew out to grab Orochimaru. The snake summoner jumped away only to have the hands grab onto his arms. He screamed in pain as the powerful force began pulling his arms, trying to drag him into the Gate, "AHHHH! YOU BASTARDS! YOU MISERABLE BASTARDS! I WILL SEND YOU ALL TO MEET YOUR MAKERS!"

Jushiro shot him a hardened glare, "Not if I send you first. Please die…"

Orochimaru screamed as he finally summoned Kusanagi to sever his arms from his body to buy himself room to run. He shouted at his four bodyguards, "Drop the barrier! We must leave immediately!" Orochimaru and his charges narrowly avoided the black hands as they fled the scene.

As Orochimaru and his convoy escaped Gai and Kakashi prepared to pursue until Jushiro went pale and yelled, "Get off the roof now!"

The four ninja along with the gathered Anbu jumped off just in time for the entire tower to vanish and leave a massive crater. As they landed back in the center of the arena silence broke out among all ninja in attendance, both ally and enemy until Jushiro began to laugh, "I can't believe that actually worked! The runt was right that fucking Gate is massive!" As he continued to laugh his eyes glassed over as he collapsed and passed out.

The Hokage leapt atop the stadium and turned to all of the ninja in the village to use a voice-enhancing jutsu, "Your Kazekage is not here, and Orochimaru has taken leave from the battle. The leaf still has many shinobi left to finish you all off. Your leaders are absent and your secret weapon has been defeated in earnest. You all are recommended to surrender immediately, otherwise no quarter will be shown to the remainder of you. Upon surrender you will be treated according to the terms of the Unified Code of the Elemental Nations, no infractions will take place I swear it."

The Suna and Oto ninja shook in fear, anger, and shock. Slowly the Suna ninja dropped their weapons and surrendered to the leaf ninja. Oto took longer, but when pressed by the leaf forces they finally surrendered.

As the moon set itself above the smoldering flames and the smoke of Konohagakure the Suna-Oto Invasion came to a close.

**Took too long to update, I had tests and essays before Spring Break and I thought I would send you all off to a week of debauchery and rest with a chapter for your consideration to read. My Spring Break might as well be called hibernation because that's what the hell I'll be doing. I don't need to go to the beach to check out girls and get wasted, there's plenty of that shit at home, AND it's too fucking cold to go to the beach anyway.**

**Before the comments start, yes Jushiro's final transmutation always summoned the Gate of Truth. When he did it to Raiga he surrounded him with a giant dome remember, I just thought it would be a cool way to go for this chapter. Props to Belletiger BT for the idea. Couldn't just kill Orochimaru off though no matter how appealing it may be, I still have plans for him later.**

**Read, or review if you'd like to, I know I'd like you to. I think they are awesome, but anyway keep your gens tight during Spring Break wherever you may be. May your sticky be icky, may your beaches be warm, and may your Corona always have a lime available.**

**Kenchi out.**


	24. You're Nobody Till Everybody

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. As much as it breaks my heart to type this it is true. Thanks United States legal system… Because I had to type this disclaimer to avoid getting my balls sued to the wall I will be crying myself to sleep tonight.

**Chapter 24: You're Nobody Till Everybody-**

Naruto and Jushiro sat atop the Hokage Monument looking out along the village that they had been fighting for not a week prior to that moment. They could see the property damage being fixed up by the villagers who looked like ants from the distance the boys were at, but their spirited voices could reach their ears on the mountain.

Naruto groaned as he leaned back and looked at his older brother, "Big Boss this week has been really weird don't you think?"

Jushiro shot a glance at Naruto before looking back at the village, "Well it certainly hasn't gone the way I thought it would've, I thought everything would have gone back to normal you know?"

Naruto nodded in agreement as Jushiro looked at his chunin vest that had replaced his old one. "You know I kind of wish that the old man would have I don't know… Shut the hell up after the invasion." Naruto grimaced and nodded furiously in response.

XxX

_(Flashback- The day following the invasion)_

_The crowd was gathered at the Hokage Tower to stand for a victory announcement following the memorial service that morning. Atop the tower stood the Sandaime Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi, Jiraiya, one of the sannin, Kakashi Hatake and Maito Gai, and the two that were the most out of place, Naruto Uzumaki and Jushiro Moyomoto._

_As the older ninja sat and waited Naruto was fidgeting with his formal clothing, "Gah what the hell? Can I take this shit off now? I don't even know why I'm here in the first place. As a matter of fact why is Big Boss here?"_

_Kakashi sighed, "Calm down Naruto, the Hokage asked you both here for a reason, so just wait a moment and you'll find out." Naruto grumbled under his breath at his masked sensei._

_Jushiro sighed as he looked out over the town, "I agree with the brat… Why the hell are we here? I'd rather be down there for whatever announcement he has to make, these clothes are stuffy as all hell. I want to go home and get lai-... go home"_

_Kakashi ignored the slip of his fellow white-haired shinobi as Jiraiya came up to the two, "You brats need to just wait like Kakashi said, you might be interested in what he has to say."_

_Naruto narrowed his eyes as Jushiro rolled his. Just as they did this Hiruzen stood and made his way to the edge of the tower to address his people. As he reached the edge raucous cheering and yelling rang out from below. The old man smiled as he raised his hand to silence the crowd._

_He cleared his throat before beginning his speech, "We are victorious my people!" As he waited for the cheers to die down again he continued, "Today is a day to celebrate. We have beaten back the enemy at our gates, we have defended our village and our way of life from those seeking to destroy us, and we will continue to do so." Cheers rang out again._

_Hiruzen chuckled before looking back at his amassed ninja, "Many of our young shinobi rose to the challenge of defending our home. The feats of quite a few of our younger ninja will go down in their growing legends. I must call attention to two boys who showed exemplary skill and courage as they succeeded at key points in the battle." _

_As he motioned back at the small group the older men shoved Jushiro forward. He walked to the edge with the Hokage as he began to speak again, "This boy is Jushiro Moyomoto. After being promoted yesterday after the exams he immediately began engaging enemy forces throughout the stadium. As I was locked in battle atop the stadium he brought me aid in the form of Maito Gai and Kakashi Hatake."_

_As Jushiro blushed and rubbed his face over the praise Hiruzen continued, "Not only that but he also engaged Orochimaru on quite a few occasions himself, and he delivered the finishing blow that ended the battle and gravely wounded him by removing his arms. I present to you the Armory Alchemist, Jushiro Moyomoto." The crowd began chattering amongst themselves as Jushiro sheepishly looked around._

_He tapped Hiruzen and glared at him before hissing in a whisper, "What the hell old man? There's no way they'll believe I did that. You're gonna get my ass kicked." _

_Hiruzen silently chuckled before motioning back again, this time Naruto was picked up and thrown by Jiraiya. As Naruto turned to pick a fight with the toad sage Hiruzen grabbed him and forced him to face the throng of people._

_Naruto began to sweat as he heard mumblings of the people saying not too flattering things directed at him before Hiruzen spoke again, "This is Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto waved out at the people nervously._

_Hiruzen continued, "During yesterday's battle he went into the village and led Suna's secret weapon away from the center of the town before single-handedly engaging and defeating our enemy's trump card in the fight. If he had not done this then far more casualties would have been inflicted, and property damages would have been far greater. It is recorded by two of our own shinobi as well as two of Suna's own ninja that the opponent our young Naruto defeated was Sabaku no Gaara, the jinchuuriki of the one-tailed tanuki Shukaku."_

_As the crowd rumbled over this information Hiruzen clutched the boy's shoulder and spoke, "Due to the events of yesterday I was interrupted prior to declaring the final promotion in this year's chunin exams, however I believe that the final decision was simply reinforced by the actions that followed. I am proud to declare Naruto Uzumaki, the Fullmetal Alchemist, a chunin of Konohagakure!"_

_As he backed up to allow Naruto and Jushiro time to speak Naruto looked at Jushiro who just shrugged. Naruto looked out over the crowd and took a deep breath, "Um… Who's your hero baby?"_

_(End Flashback)_

XxX

Naruto stood up and dusted himself off, "You know I used to be jealous of those guys with the fan-girls and all that, but I have to say that it kind of sucks. I can't go anywhere or do anything without some shit happening."

Jushiro stood and patted his brother on the head, "Trouble with the ladies kid? I thought you would be with the Hyuuga girl from the exams."

Naruto swatted his hand off, "I want to make an attempt, but every time I try to get her alone I can't. It's like someone is messing with me so that I can't get some alone time with her. It's totally confusing, like life is screwing me over."

Jushiro smirked, "Yeah… Like life is screwing you over…"

Naruto and Jushiro noticed a presence unfamiliar to both boys appearing behind them. Both turned to see a man covered in bandages. One covering one of his eyes and another enveloping his entire arm. As the man came up to the boys they felt an uneasy aura around him, "I have to say… For two of Konoha's newest heroes you are quite hard to find when I desired an audience."

Naruto spoke as he came close, "Um… Who are you? How did you find us?"

The man spoke in a hard tone, "I am Danzo, one of the elder members of Konohagakure's council."

The boys narrowed their eyes at this revelation as Jushiro took on a defensive tone, "So… You're one of the stuffed shirts that have been trying to hold me and my close people down for the last six years? To what do we owe the intrusion Danzo?"

Danzo turned up his nose, "That would be Danzo-sama to you _boy_."

Jushiro and Naruto looked at each other before Jushiro spoke again, "Until you actually give me a reason to call you –sama you won't be hearing it from us. Now I'll ask you again, what do you want with us?"

Danzo turned business-like, "It has come to my attention that you two have very…_special_ attributes that would probably be best utilized under my watchful eye and guidance."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Uh-huh…"

Danzo continued as he walked past the boys to look out over the village, "I have nothing but the best interests of Konoha at heart I assure you. And I believe that you two have the potential to truly serve the village. If you both accept to come and work with me you will not only be keeping the country safe, you would be keeping everything you hold dear safe as well. Your refusal on this matter may make things more difficult for you in the future."

Jushiro's stance stiffened as he took Danzo's words to thought, 'This bastard wasn't blatant with it but I know a threat when I hear one damn it.' He looked at Naruto and by the gritting of his teeth he surmised that the blonde had come to the same conclusion as him, 'Fuck this guy… He isn't getting a damn thing from us.'

Jushiro and Naruto looked at one another and nodded before Naruto spoke, "Sorry Danzo-san, but you really aren't giving us more to go off of than that. From what we know we can't really just get into bed with you like that without knowing what we'd be getting into."

Jushiro backed Naruto up, "Yeah, and threats are never really a good idea against us. We may not be big-time, but we don't really feel like being in a faction either. And no offense, but you sound like you get up to some pretty shifty stuff."

Danzo frowned, "What I do is for the good of Konoha, to protect this village my people do anything that they can."

Naruto nodded sagely, "I understand that actually, Big Boss does too. The concept to do what you have to, we're ninja so we don't have to fight fair."

Jushiro put his hands in his pockets, "Honestly if you had brought this up even a few months ago I might have taken you up on this, but we're on people's radar right now, not exactly ideal for a paramilitary faction… That is what you wanted us for isn't it Danzo-san?"

Danzo smirked at the boys, "You two are smarter than you lead people to believe, very well then. Consider the issue dropped, but if you ever desire to actually get to actually protecting this country you two can always find me."

Danzo turned to descend the Hokage Monument, "Good day boys, I hope you continue to grow in strength, this place needs all of the strength it can muster."

As they saw the strange man descend the mountain, they had a grin on their faces when Naruto spoke, "Huh… You know when he isn't trying to bust my balls in the council he isn't really that bad."

Jushiro sat back down to overlook the city, "Yeah I guess, still… That group of his sounds like they get up to some interesting shit. Should we tell the Hokage?"

Naruto shrugged, "What do I look like, the police? That guy took a big risk coming out here and offering us a spot in an obviously frowned upon faction, I know we answer to ojii and everything but there are three factors:" Naruto held up one finger, "One: The old man has a lot of work to do; between the invasion and the shit-storm that got kicked up in the fallout he has more than enough on his plate already."

He held up another finger, "Two: That Danzo guy seems like the kind of guy that can make our shit go downhill quickly. If we did snitch about him he would probably get his people to make themselves scarce and then make our lives a living hell. The fact that we didn't flat out tell him off, but just told him that we'd consider it as an option may make him harp on us for a while, but it's better than making a new enemy with connections."

Jushiro nodded, "Okay I see… But what's the third reason?"

Naruto smirked, "Because I couldn't sense any B.S. from him. He was dead serious; he wanted us, his group operates under him and he does it for this city, and the most important part was that he was ballsy enough to flat out say it to our faces. And that was awesome."

Jushiro groaned, "Yeah, or it could have just been like every main villain in every suck-ass movie we've ever seen. He thinks he has like diplomatic immunity or some shit, or he thinks that when it comes to our word against his we can't win because we're just punk-ass orphan kids and he's a high-ranking village official with merits."

Naruto shrugged, "Maybe… But I like my explanation more. You're just being paranoid Big Boss."

Jushiro chuckled, "And you need to start thinking like a chunin off of the battlefield instead of just on the battlefield you blockhead."

"Hey Big Boss…?"

"Yeah runt?"

"Fuck you."

XxX

"And then the runt was all like 'Suiryuudan no Jutsu' and hit that Gaara kid and his demon form head on with it. I'm telling you Sarutobi-sensei, give him a few years and that kid will be great."

Hiruzen sat in his office chuckling as his student Jiraiya gave him a short rendition of Naruto's fight, "Yes, yes Jiraiya, I wondered how Naruto-kun fought that battle, but I called you here for a real reason today."

He stood up and looked out of his window, "I am too old for this job Jiraiya."

Jiraiya sighed, "I'm not taking the position as Hokage Sarutobi-sensei… I don't want it."

Hiruzen sighed, "I thought not… Well then that means that we have one more option." He turned to face Jiraiya, "Get ready to leave in a day or two Jiraiya."

Jiraiya sweat-dropped, "You want me to go and look for her don't you?" Upon seeing Hiruzen nod he put his palm to his face and groaned, "Sarutobi-sensei do you know how long that would take? And I wouldn't even be sure where to start looking…"

Hiruzen threw him a scroll, "This is the last known whereabouts and it isn't that far from here, according to this she is somewhere in Hi no Kuni. That's why I need you to leave so soon."

Jiraiya sighed before shrugging, "Fine, but you seriously owe me for this one old man, and one more thing." Seeing Hiruzen raise his eyebrow he continued, "There is no way in hell I'm going to do this alone, and no I don't need any Anbu escorts. There's only one kid entertaining enough for me to take on this trip."

Hiruzen smiled, "So you're taking him in the hopes he could get her to return eh?"

Jiraiya scratched his nose, "Whatever gave you that idea old man? Now… After he hit him with the dragon he jumped on his head and punched the kid dead in the face. I almost lost it when I saw that…"

XxX

Naruto was sitting with the rest of his team out by the bridge that they normally met at in the mornings. Naruto was simply staring across the bridge as he waited for the remainder of his team to show up, but what was making the scene uncomfortable was that the teammate currently in attendance was staring at him and trying to subconsciously burn a hole in the side of his head.

Naruto hesitantly looked out of the corner of his eye, "Um… Sasuke? Can I help you, or is the side of my face that interesting? I mean I know my whiskers are awesomely sexy and everything but still…"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "How did you beat Gaara dobe?"

Naruto scrunched his eyes, "Well… a water dragon, summoning, kage bunshin, alchemy, and a good old-fashioned punch to the face… Good old-school basics, ahhh, got to love 'em."

Sasuke shifted in place to fully face Naruto, "Teach me those attacks."

Naruto turned to Sasuke, "Teach me Chidori and Gokakyu no Jutsu."

The boys narrowed their eyes at each other before Sasuke spoke, "Chidori is my attack, and the fireball is my clan technique. I won't teach you those jutsu."

Naruto smirked and crossed his arms, "Those other moves are my attacks, and you can't use kage bunshin because you don't have the reserves. And I already told you that I won't teach anyone alchemy, call it my clan technique."

Sasuke stared at Naruto while Naruto kept a smile on his face as he stared back. This is the scene that Sakura came walking up to, "Hi you guys… What are you two doing?"

Naruto showed his canines, "Sasuke here wants me to hand over some of my high powered signature jutsu for absolutely nothing, and I'm not really feeling too charitable right now as you can tell." Sasuke just 'hmed' and turned around as Naruto sighed, "You see what I mean? And I'm confused, I'm a fucking chunin now. Why do I still have to come out here? Shouldn't I be getting higher level missions now?"

Sakura shrugged, "I don't know… Don't you like being on Team 7 though?"

Naruto gave her a smile, "Well it's getting tolerable now, at least you don't bash my head in for insignificant things. But I still have a sensei that won't teach us anything and a teammate that would rather fight me than help me."

Sakura pouted, "They're not that bad Naruto, Kakashi-sensei isn't that bad, and I'm sure Sasuke-kun isn't really like that."

Naruto chuckled, "Okay then, what's the last thing Kakashi taught you and don't say tree-climbing, don't worry I'll wait…" As she tried to think of something she finally shrugged and gave up, "Exactly, he hasn't taught us a damn thing. He tried to pawn us off during the chunin exams, but at least Kurenai-san taught you something. I had to find my own methods of training."

Sakura looked down, "Well things will get better Naruto, I mean we just have to show him we're serious about it. I realize now that I haven't been taking things seriously, Kurenai-sensei let me on to that much. She taught me some really useful things and I think I can actually be useful to you guys now."

Naruto ran his hand through his hair, "Ha, yeah. Because blowing up a snake's head wasn't useful huh?"

Sakura shoved him playfully, "You idiot, you were a distraction for it."

Naruto feined hurt, "Aw so mean Sakura-chan… I thought we were close."

Kakashi chose this moment to pop up, "Yo… Good morning all."

Sakura and Naruto snapped at him, "You're late!"

Kakashi eye-smiled, "Sorry you guys, but an old lady asked me to carry her across the street when a black cat crossed our path so we had to take the long way around to cross from the other side of town."

Sakura and Naruto snapped again, "Liar!"

Naruto spoke, "So what kind of bullcrap are we doing today Kakashi, Picking up dog-crap? We'd better not be because I'm a friggin chunin now."

Kakashi looked at Naruto, "Well Naruto, the Hokage told me to tell you to go home, you have someone waiting for you for your mission. Sasuke and Sakura will be coming with me for our missions today."

Naruto blinked, "Alright then, sweet. I'll see you guys later then." He turned to walk away, "Bye you guys."

Sakura and Kakashi waved as he walked away, Sasuke had a noticeable twitch as he watched the blonde walk home, 'What has the dobe been doing to get so powerful? I need to get that power for myself.'

XxX

Naruto walked along and found his nostrils assaulted by his favorite smell, the cooking from Ichiraku Ramen. As he drifted in the general direction of the stand he threw back the curtains and gave a big smile, "How about a few bowls of ramen for Konoha's newest chunin?"

Teuchi looked up and smiled at the blonde, "Hey Naruto. I heard about your promotion congratulations kid!"

Naruto sat down and smirked at his praise, "Yeah, I know, I'm awesome right? Where's Ayame-neechan? I need to get my gloating in as soon as I can and I need her to bear witness."

Ayame came from the back with a few ingredients, "Oh hey Naruto-kun how are you?"

Naruto beamed a smile at the girl, "I'm doing absolutely fine Ayame-neechan. I just thought I'd drop by to get a bite to eat and to gloat a little bit before I get my mission today."

Ayame put her chin in her hands as she leaned on the counter, "What mission? Do you know what you'll be doing Naruto-kun?"

Naruto shrugged as Teuchi put a bowl in front of him, "Thanks old man. No I don't know what I'm doing. Itadakimasu" He broke his chopsticks and took a few bites, "It better be something kick-ass though because I've had it with the household chores I've been doing. There is no more excuse for those missions now, I proved that I'm awesome, now I'd better be getting some cool jobs."

Ayame ruffled his hair as he ate, "Aww, you'll probably get something good. You are a chunin now so you should get higher missions."

Naruto smiled, "Oh yeah check out the vest." He lifted his cloak to show off his chunin vest, "It's so cool, I'm so ready for my mission."

"There you are gaki. I was waiting at your house for hours, where were you?"

Naruto turned to see Jiraiya entering the stand, "Oh hey there ero-sennin, what's up?"

Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose, "You're never going to stop calling me that are you? Never mind, it's time to go kid, we've got a mission."

Naruto frowned, "I just sat down to eat, and I need to go pack, we are leaving the village aren't we?" Jiraiya threw Naruto his pack that had his supplies in it, "You got into my house? How the hell, did you break in?"

Jiraiya chuckled, "No gaki the girl next door opened it up for me when I said we had a mission. Who was that anyway? She seemed to be too pretty to be one of your friends."

Naruto turned back to his food, "Kiss my ass ero-sennin, that was Haku-chan, Big Boss's girlfriend. I guess he gave her a key after they started dating. I wonder why."

Jiraiya smiled, "Your brother sounds like my kind of guy, I need to meet him sometime soon."

Naruto slurped up his ramen and drank the broth, "He probably is, he reads your stupid books and I catch him and Haku-chan trying to go at it all the time, I blame you and your books for that… He's just lucky Zabuza is gone for a while or he'd be screwed."

Jiraiya grabbed Naruto by his collar and dragged him outside, "Come on now kid we have to go, we have to get moving quickly."

Naruto ground his heels into the ground, "Wait, wait, wait. Can you make a detour really quick, we need to see somebody before we leave."

Jiraiya stared at him, "Kid we have to go. We can't screw around before leaving, this is a tight deadline."

Naruto held his ground, "It's on the way out of town anyway, just a quick stop to check something out. I asked around and I was told that you could help me out with something."

Jiraiya sighed at Naruto, "You aren't going to shut the hell up about this are you?" Naruto shook his head, "And if I don't do it you're going to bitch about it all the way down the road right?" Naruto smirked and nodded forcing Jiraiya to sigh, "Fine then, lead the way and tell me what I'm doing…"

XxX

Despite being bonafide prisoners of war the sand siblings were treated very well per the instructions of the Sandiame Hokage. They were put up in Konoha's premier hotel and were allowed to leave and walk around town… They just couldn't leave the city. They were guarded 24/7 by Anbu but that is to be expected, it's better than an interrogation cell. And so we find the three young ninja from Sunagakure sitting around the room shared by Gaara and Kankuro just sitting idle.

The three jumped at a knock on their door. Kankuro looked between his older sister, who was reading, and his younger brother, who was doing Gaara stuff. Kankuro was then trying to decide which of his siblings to push his luck with, "Uh Temari… Door."

Temari gave a short glare at Kankuro, "Why should I get it?"

Kankuro shrugged, "Two reasons. One: You're way closer to the door than me or Gaara. Two: You're in our room, so go get it."

She huffed as she stood to get the door. As she reached for the handle she heard and older voice, "Man if this is what prisoners get then maybe I should turn on this village huh?" Which was then followed by a considerably younger voice.

"Shut up ero-sennin… You say really stupid things sometimes you know that? And you wonder why I don't take you seriously."

Temari opened the door to find an older white-haired man glaring at a shorter blonde-haired boy. As she stepped out from behind the door to speak she noted the familiar boy, "Um can I help either of you?"

Naruto grinned at the girl, "Hi there Temari, I was just wondering if your brother was around?"

Her eyes narrowed, "Do you want the stupid make-up wearing one?" A small smile came to her face after a shout of 'it's not make-up it's war paint!'

Naruto chuckled, "Nope not him, I wanted the red-haired one that tried to kill me three times. Is he in there?"

Temari motioned for them to come inside. As the door closed Gaara looked over to the newly arriving duo, "Naruto Uzumaki? What are you doing here?"

Naruto walked over to him, "Well Gaara, when we fought I came to a realization… That you are bat-shit crazy. Now I don't think it's really your fault, but I think your seal sucks. I dragged the tall white-haired pervert over here along to see what he could do about it, maybe he can fix it."

Kankuro and Temari looked on nervously at the way Naruto was talking to their brother until he spoke, "So you're saying that he can fix the problems with my seal? Who is this person?"

Jiraiya broke out into a wide grin as he set himself to begin his introduction until Naruto cut him off, "This is Jiraiya, a pervert of a ninja." Jiraiya face-fell and grabbed Naruto by the neck.

He lifted Naruto off of the ground and glared at him, "Seriously kid you've got to stop doing that."

Naruto sweat-dropped, "I'll try, it's a force of habit."

After he dropped Naruto Jiraiya walked over to Gaara, "So you're Suna's jinchuuriki? Alright then let me see your seal."

Gaara lifted his shirt and began to generate chakra. Jiraiya kneeled down to look at his seal before he shook his head, "The person who did the sealing wasn't very skilled, this thing just keeps leaking the Shukaku spirit's psyche into you. You probably couldn't even sleep."

Gaara nodded as Naruto spoke, "Oh so that's why you have those rings around your eyes, I thought it was because you had traits from your demon."

Naruto heard a voice in his mind, "**Well kit they can't all get traits as sexy as the whisker markings right?**"

Naruto smirked, 'Hell no, my whisker marks are awesome Kyuubi-chan you know it!'

Gaara sent a schooled look at Naruto, "You know, I don't even remember which one made them."

Jiraiya stood up, "Well I can fix it, but it will have to wait until I come back from our mission."

Kankuro interjected, "Well can't you do it before you leave? How long could it take?"

Jiraiya shook his head at Kankuro, "Seals are a very delicate art, something like this would take time. Me and the gaki here have already fallen way behind the time-frame we needed to get out of here."

Naruto stepped up, "Well then if we're already late then why can't we take a little time to fix Gaara, an hour or two really won't matter that much would it?"

Jiraiya sighed, "I guess you're right kid… Fine, we need a secure room for this so come with me. Gaki, don't make yourself hard to find, I'll chase you down in an hour or two when I'm done with your sandy buddy here."

Naruto smiled at the others in the room, "Cool, I guess I'll head on home for a bit. I'll be there until you're done."

Naruto opened the window of the room and jumped out to leave the building.

XxX

Naruto once again found himself walking along the streets of the village until he heard a voice call out to him from behind. As he turned to look back he found Temari giving him a steely look, "Um… What's up Temari? Do you need something?"

She walked up to Naruto and looked down into his face. Naruto felt discomfort as the older girl looked into his face, 'Damn it why is everybody taller than me?'

Temari finally spoke, "Why are you helping Gaara?"

Naruto blinked a few times before he answered her question, "Because I can, and it's the right thing to do. I'm giving the guy a second chance, he deserves that at least. He's lonely, and that crazy spirit in him would never let him rest or have a normal relationship, with you and your brother, or anyone in general."

Naruto's face hardened and almost caused Temari to flinch, "Treat the guy good okay? I know he scared the crap out of you guys for years, but if you show him that you care he'll be the little brother you always wanted I promise."

Naruto gave the girl a smile and turned to walk away before Temari caught him by his shoulder. Naruto turned around to catch her seemingly in an inner debate with herself, "Yes? Do you still need me for something?"

Temari nodded and moved in to give Naruto a kiss on the cheek before turning to leave herself, "Thank you Naruto, you don't know how much you're helping our family. You're a sweet kid you know that?"

As he watched her walk away he grinned to himself, 'Hell yeah, fuck you Big Boss, I knew girls were into me!'

XxX

Naruto arrived at his house shortly and plopped down on his couch to waste time watching TV until a knock came at his door. Naruto groaned as he stood to open his door, "Alright give me a second."

Naruto opened his door to find Sakura, "Well damn I'm popular today aren't I?"

Sakura smiled, "So this is where you live huh?"

Naruto moved aside to let her in, "Yeah, yeah, you caught me right before I could get out of town. Me and ero-sennin are just about to head on out for my mission when he's done."

Sakura sat down and frowned, "You actually call someone that? You can't call that poor man something like that Naruto."

Naruto flopped back down on his couch and grabbed the remote, "If you spend a minute or two around him you'd know why I call him that Sakura-chan."

After a few minutes of the two sitting and watching TV Naruto decided to figure out why she was there, "So… Sakura-chan… What pray tell brings you to my humble home. I'm happy you decided to see me, but you really haven't ever given a thought of showing up over here before so excuse me if I find it a little random."

Sakura sighed, "Well Naruto. I have to say I'm sorry to you." She saw a confused look on his face, "I've really been giving you a hard time for as long as I can remember and as far as I can remember you've never warranted anything like what I've done, so I'm sorry."

Naruto waved it off, "It's okay, if I held a grudge against everyone that didn't like me then I would have a running gripe with two-thirds of the village. The fact that you came to apologize to me makes me really happy. Maybe now we can be friends eh?"

Sakura smiled at that, "Of course we can." As both smiled at each other Naruto's words ran through her head, "Naruto, why do so many people dislike you? I mean you used to do pranks and you did beat up a few kids in school but that was always during a spar, or they tried to jump you on the playground. I can't come up with any real reason to hate you."

Naruto chuckled bitterly, "That is a question that I just can't answer for you yet Sakura-chan. Maybe one of these days I could, but until then I would like to keep that information to myself."

She frowned but nodded, "You'll tell me one day right?"

Naruto gave her a sly grin, "Well if you keep on down this path then who knows? I may tell you sooner rather than later."

The conversation was interrupted by another knock at the door, "Damn it, I'm being run ragged today."

Naruto stood and opened the door to find two men in black cloaks with red clouds and straw hats. The one on the right chuckled, "Well, well, he has a metal arm and those marks on his face. This is the kid we're looking for isn't it Itachi?"

Naruto's eyes widened, 'Itachi Uchiha? This shit can't be happening. Why does this shit always happen to me?'

The second man tilted his head up to reveal spinning Sharingan eyes, "Hello Naruto-kun, we'd like it if you could come with us."

**Woo hoo I'm back! Okay now I've found my brain after about a week of getting faded. Chapter output will speed up very soon, I just need to get back to school and refrain from putting foreign substances into my body. Life is sweet and I'm rested baby, game on. **

**Reviewing would be awesome, any little words would help. Reviews are like crack, if you don't get any after getting a taste you go into withdrawal and start tweaking. I would go to rehab for it, but I don't have a problem right? Who said I got a problem? I'LL KILL YOU!**

**Have a good day. Kenchi loves you all… Well some of you, maybe mostly the female population. I'll just stop writing now…**


	25. Taste the Radness

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I have to put one of these up one more time I'm gonna stab somebody in the neck with a butter knife. I think you all get the point, I don't own the fucking manga! This is just rubbing salt in the wound. I'm talking to you Kishimoto… WHAT?

**Chapter 25: Taste the Radness**

Naruto simply stared at the two figures in his doorway blankly for a few moments before blinking once, "Um… One moment please?" Naruto slowly shut his door and turned around, He clapped his hands around the doorframe and caused it to cover the door. He then ran and grabbed Sakura by her arm into Jushiro's room to repeat the process.

Sakura was initially stunned by the movements but recovered once inside the room, "Naruto? What are you doing with me?"

Naruto grabbed her and took her to the far wall in the room. He transmutated a hole in the wall joining their apartment to Haku's and he pushed her through the hole, "Go and find me someone, anyone strong. Tell them Naruto is getting chased by Itachi Uchiha and hurry up please."

Before Sakura could respond they heard a smash in his living room, "Please go now. This is not bullshit."

Naruto sealed the wall back up just in time for the bedroom door to be broken open. As Itachi's companion led the way into the room he took his sword off of his back, "Kid did you really think that would stop us?" Naruto shrugged and the man chuckled, "Would it have stopped you?" Naruto frowned and shook his head.

Itachi walked past his companion and spoke in his monotone voice, "I'll ask you once more Naruto-kun, come with us. I would rather not inflict any harm on you, though I'm sure Kisame wouldn't have any problems with that."

Kisame took off his hat to reveal dark spiked hair and a shark-like appearance as he held out his odd sword, "Hey just let me cut off his legs Itachi, he looks like a runner."

Naruto stared blankly at the two men before speaking, "Let me respond to that with thi- CHANCE!" Naruto dove through the window and landed in the field surrounding his building outside, "Gah! Fucking glass!" Naruto took off running as he picked glass from his face.

Before Naruto could make his way very far Itachi appeared in front of him forcing him to stop, "How did you just do that? You were just in my apartment."

Itachi shrugged, "Why didn't you take the stairs? It's much easier."

Naruto gaped like a fish before dodging a swing of Kisame's sword from behind. As he landed a good distance away he shouted, "What the hell do you want with me? Leave me alone!"

Kisame laughed, "Sorry brat but we have orders to bring you in. It's just business, you understand."

Naruto sighed and grumbled, "Nothing can ever be normal can it… I can't have a regular day noooo. Weird shit always has to happen to me… Did I piss off Kami in a past life or something?" Naruto came to a realization, "Wait a damn minute, you're Itachi Uchiha. Why the hell are you back here?"

Itachi simply looked at the boy, "Just as Kisame said, we have orders to capture you. Nothing personal Naruto-kun, it's just business. Please don't fight."

Naruto sighed, 'Well Kyuubi-chan… Looks like it's fight or run, and they seem way faster than me so one of those seems out. But these guys seem tough, it's fucking Itachi Uchiha! Do you have any ideas?'

Naruto heard the voice in his head, "**You sent out Sakura to go get help, just try to stall for now, you really can't beat these guys even with my chakra.**"

Naruto looked over his adversaries, "So what exactly do you two want with me, you never said why you needed me to go with you."

Kisame grinned, "You sure do like to talk don't you kid? We came for the fox in your stomach."

Naruto went wide-eyed, 'They want you Kyuubi-chan? This couldn't get any worse now could it?'

Kisame crouched, "Okay kid enough with the formalities, you look like you're going to be a pest when we take you so I'll just cut off a few of your limbs to make you a bit more compliant."

Naruto scratched his face, "I'd rather you didn't…" Naruto made his favorite hand sign, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

Naruto made twenty copies and sent them all in different directions as he fled with them. Almost as quickly as they darted off they were dispelled. Naruto turned to see Kisame's odd sword moving, "Ah… Samehada liked all of that kid, you put quite a bit of chakra into those Kage Bunshin didn't you?"

Naruto gaped as he saw Itachi, almost in the blink of an eye appear in front of him and take a swing at him. Naruto narrowly ducked his punch only to get sent flying across the field with a kick. Naruto rolled to a stop and looked up only to have Kisame step on his back, "Ha! How did a kid with one real arm end up being a ninja anyway?"

Naruto smirked as his enemy stood on his back, "I never considered it to be a handicap, it's more like an opportunity. Naruto clapped and placed his hands on the ground, forcing a pillar of earth to come from the dirt and fly towards Kisame that forced him to swing his sword and destroy the attack.

As Kisame looked back down he sneered at Naruto, "That was a pretty damn good diversion you punk… If I weren't so damn good that might have gotten me, I have to pay you back for that now." He lifted his sword overhead at a smirking Naruto

The grinning Naruto unnerved Kisame and spoke only one word, "Boom."

The Naruto underfoot exploded as Kisame used kawarimi to safely escape the explosion as Itachi saw Naruto reappear in front of them, "Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion) with a Kawarimi (Substitution Jutsu) huh? That is a very high level combination Naruto-kun."

Naruto clapped and formed his arm-blade, "I'm happy you like it… Come on then Itachi… Kisame, you need me alive right? Well I'm not going out without a fight."

Kisame growled at the boy, "I was just messing around before you runt. Now I'll gut you and cut all of your limbs off!"

Naruto grunted, 'Damn it I need backup soon or I'm screwed here!'

XxX

Sakura was running through the village, but all she could find were civilians, 'No, this isn't good. I can't find a ninja around anywhere and Naruto needs my help!'

Sakura eventually ran into Sasuke who was exiting a dumpling shop. She came to a stop in front of him and grabbed his arm, "Sasuke-kun! Naruto needs help! I need to find a jounin to go help him!"

Sasuke raised a brow at the girl, "Why does the dobe need a jounin? What is he into now?"

Sakura shook her head, "I don't know he didn't say. He just told me to go get help and sealed up a wall before I heard a crash."

Kakashi suddenly appeared before the two genin, "Ah there you both are. Good thing I found you both together… Why are you both here by the way?"

Sakura's eyes lit up, "Kakashi-sensei! Thank goodness you showed up, Naruto needs your help! I think he's being attacked, he wouldn't say."

Kakashi's visible eye narrowed, "Really? Well then go on home, we're done for today, nevermind our remaining missions. I'll see you both tomorrow." Kakashi left it at that and used shunshin to vanish from sight, leaving the two kids in the street.

Sakura blinked, "Sasuke-kun… What do you think is going on today? Is Naruto really in that much trouble?"

Sasuke didn't blink, "Sakura, which way is Naruto's apartment again?"

XxX

Kakashi sprinted towards Naruto's house as he racked his mind, 'Damn it, I didn't think an attack would happen so soon after I was told…"

_(Flashback – 3 days after the end of the invasion)_

_Kakashi had been at the Hero's Memorial when he sensed a presence behind him. As he turned he was greeted with the sight of Jiraiya, "Yes Jiraiya-sama? What can I do for you today?"_

_Jiraiya smirked, "Oh come on Kakashi, can't a guy just pop in every now and then to talk to a friend." Jiraiya closed the distance between them and kept his gaze affixed on Kakashi._

_Kakashi eye-smiled, "Well you can, but you and I both know you wouldn't have been looking for me here if you didn't have a serious reason for it. Go ahead and let me in on the reason you wanted to see me."_

_Jiraiya looked down at the stone before his features hardened and he looked over at Kakashi, "Naruto's been doing a very good job keeping himself up to task these days. He was a handful before the exams from what I've been told, but now he's still getting even better."_

_Kakashi felt a pang of guilt wash over him before he squashed that thought and spoke, "Yes, I just wish that a few of the jutsu I know were more applicable to him. A lot of them don't really seem to be his cup of tea."_

_Jiraiya just looked at the man in silence for a moment, "Sure I guess." He sighed and spoke again, "Kakashi I need to begin getting Naruto ready for the future, there are storm clouds on the horizon if you know what I mean and I need to make sure he's up to snuff for the trials that lie ahead."_

_Kakashi listened on as Jiraiya got to the bottom of his statement, "I'm going to take over the training for the boy, he needs someone to refine his skills."_

_Kakashi almost paled, "Naruto is my student Jiraiya. I feel that I am more than capable of training him myself."_

_Jiraiya let out a little KI as he stared the masked man down, "Well then, what exactly have you taught the boy in the last several months since he graduated… at all?"_

_The men stood in silence until Kakashi finally looked away, "I really did blow it didn't I? I haven't taught him or Sakura a thing except tree-climbing, and he already knew how to do that." Kakashi looked at the stone and then at the mountain, "I thought that focusing on Sasuke would have been my way of thanking Obito… But I neglected sensei's legacy for it… And I wonder why the boy won't even call me sensei."_

_Jiraiya looked up and chuckled, "Yeah I won't sugar-coat it for you Kakashi, you kind of dropped the ball. Luckily the kid found ways to work around that little handicap, though from what I've heard that's been the story of his life thus far." Jiraiya decided it was time to cut to the chase, "Kakashi there is a group out there somewhere comprised of at least nine S-class nuke-nin out for jinchuuriki like Naruto."_

_Kakashi's eye widened, "What? After Naruto? How do you know about this?"_

_Jiraiya walked and leaned against a tree, "For years I had been pursuing info on Orochimaru until one day he dropped off the grid, by the time he resurfaced news about this organization began catching my attention. A group of nine high class criminals coming together for some purpose, I don't need to tell you that whatever that many high powered ninja are coming together for it can't be a good thing."_

_Kakashi gulped as he digested this information, "Well then, if I can't be directly involved in preparing Naruto for this myself, I'll have to be one of the people to defend him before it is his time. I messed up once, this is the least I can do for the kid."_

_(End Flashback)_

Kakashi sped up as he darted across town, "It's time to see if I can actually live up to my own words."

XxX

"Suiton: Suikodan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Shark Bomb Jutsu)!" Kisame shot two water sharks at Naruto seemingly out of thin air. Naruto narrowly dodged as a shark exploded in the spot he once inhabited.

Naruto yelled as Kisame fired off several more attacks that the boy narrowly avoided, "Kami, he's making those damn things seemingly out of thin air!"

Kisame laughed as he watched the boy dodge his attack, "Call it a talent of mine if you will, and I have enough chakra to keep this up until you run out of gas gaki."

Naruto stood on a boulder after dodging the last water shark, "I really doubt that, I have the Kyuubi in me you dumbass. I haven't even used any of the chakra yet so don't flatter yourself. If we had to compare stamina I'm pretty sure you'd lose your girlfriend over it." Naruto finished with a smirk that betrayed his inner thoughts, 'Damn it to hell! This is annoying, I can't fight this guy, his jutsu can keep me back, and even if I get in close I would have to deal with his big-ass sword… Fucking Kiri ninja, what's with the big-ass swords?'

Naruto gritted his teeth before a look crossed his face, "Wait, where's Itachi?"

His question was answered when Itachi appeared in front of his with his Sharingan blazing, "Right here Naruto-kun."

Naruto swore and closed his eyes, 'Fucking Sharingan, no eye contact!' Naruto took a punch to the body that doubled him over and forced him to cough blood before Itachi shot out a knee that caught him in the face and busted him open above his eye. Before Naruto could respond Itachi grabbed him by his collar and held Naruto at eye-level, who was still keeping his eyes shut.

Itachi looked at the boy straining to keep his eyes from locking with his own, "How do you expect to fight me without your sight? You should just open your eyes to get a chance at beating me."

Naruto smirked with his eyes closed, "No I don't think I will. I'd rather get punched in the face on the outside than get caught in some mind-fuck with your Sharingan, sorry Itachi."

Naruto clasped his grip around Itachi's arm and brought his legs up to wrap his left one under Itachi's arm and his right over his other shoulder, bringing them together behind his neck (See: Flying Triangle Choke) to begin choking Itachi as he remained standing.

Naruto pulled on Itachi's arm to add pressure onto the choke. Noticing that Itachi hadn't budged after half a minute when he opened his eyes he saw that Itachi's eyes hadn't even quivered since he locked it in. As the Uchiha looked at the boy he spoke in his usual tone, "Are you done?"

Naruto forgot his plan and opened his eyes to look at Itachi in disbelief, "Really? Not even close? Not even a little bit?"

Itachi's face was emotionless, "Not. Even. Close… Tsukoyomi."

Naruto cursed as he saw Itachi's Sharingan change shape as his world darkened. The next thing he knew he was tied to a cross as he looked at Itachi standing in front of him, "This is the Tsukoyomi, time and space are mine to control in this dimension. I will be torturing you for the next 72 hours."

Naruto looked around before smirking at Itachi, "Oh what are you gonna do, beat me? Stab me? Some other nasty, physically anguishing shit?" He chuckled, "I ain't scared, I say bring it on bitch."

Itachi let a ghost of a smile appear on his face before it dissipated, "I can see your thoughts Naruto-kun. Tell me, how would you like to have your auto-mail put in all over again?"

Naruto widened his eyes as he remembered the horrible pain from that day, "Oh hell…"

Naruto's right arm vanished as Naruto felt the horrible pain of his stump of an arm being shaved down further to accommodate the hardware and his nerve endings being attached to the wires of the auto-mail. He screamed in anguish at Itachi as he simply stood in place with a stone-gaze on his face. After what seemed like an eternity his arm was back on. Naruto sweated and panted but shot a defiant smirk at the prodigy Uchiha, "Is that all you got? You might as well let me go since that took so much of your damn jutsu's time."

Naruto's right arm disappeared again when Itachi spoke, "One second has passed, only 72 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds to go."

Naruto's eyes widened as he realized the ramifications of Itachi's words, 'NO… No way in hell. He's got to be lying.' Right then Naruto began to cry out as he felt his arm being reassembled to his body.

After a second or two Naruto shook and dropped from Itachi's body, eyes glazed over as he lay motionless on the ground before he began to vomit on his side. Kisame walked over with his toothy grin as Itachi spoke, "Kisame let's go, we have what we came for."

As Kisame reached for Naruto he heard a voice, "Raikiri (Lightning Blade)!"

Kisame pulled up his sword just in time for Kakashi to make contact with it, forcing Kisame away from Naruto. Kakashi came to rest by Naruto's side as he looked into the boy's shocked eyes, "Naruto, can you hear me? Can you speak to me?"

Naruto's eyes darted towards Kakashi as he tried to speak, "Kaka-Kakashi… D-d-don't look in his eyes… S-S-Sharingan, strange."

Kakashi looked up at the two nuke-nin as he pulled up his headband to reveal his own Sharingan, "I guess you two have to deal with me now. Too bad for you."

Itachi looked at the man, "Kakashi-sempai, good to see you again. All we want is Naruto, I'd rather we didn't have to fight."

Kakashi pulled out a kunai, "I won't just hand him over to you Itachi. This boy is my responsibility, you will not take him as long as I am here to stop you."

XxX

Sasuke and Sakura were running through the streets to reach Naruto's house as they turned a corner. Upon rounding the bend they almost ran directly into teams 8 and 10. Asuma and Kurenai kept the kids from crashing into everyone as Asuma spoke up, "Whoa there, what's the hurry now kids?"

Sakura couldn't hold still, "We were going to Naruto's house to see if he was okay after Kakashi-sensei went to go get him. He told me to tell any jounin I could find." Sakura paused and pursed her lips as she tried to recall Naruto's complete instructions, "He said that he was being attacked by…" Sakura turned to her teammate/crush and widened her eyes as she whispered the remainder of the sentence, "I-Itachi Uchiha."

Sasuke's eyes slowly widened as he gnashed his teeth together before taking off in a sprint to Naruto's apartment, "Damn it Itachi! He'll kill Naruto!"

Sakura shouted for him to come back as Asuma palmed his face, "That's just great… We've got Kakashi and a twelve year old kid fighting the second worst criminal in Konoha's history. Come on Kurenai we have to get over there." Asuma leapt off to find the battle.

Kurenai turned to the genin around her, "You all go home, we're going to go handle this." She gave the kids a reassuring smile before turning to leave with her face hardened for a fight.

Hinata turned to Sakura with a worried look, "Ano, Sakura-san, you said Naruto-kun was in trouble. Is it really that bad of a situation?"

Sakura looked at the girl with an equally concerned look, "There were two men after him, and one is Itachi Uchiha… I don't see how this could be a good situation."

Kiba cut in, "If Naruto needs our help then let's go get him! He's our comrade and our buddy, we have to go!" Akamaru barked in agreement to the boy's statement.

Shikamaru groaned, "Naruto's also the only chunin out of all of us and the guy that took down Gaara. If he had to go ask a jounin for help then he knows it's something over his head. What kind of chance would all of us have at helping him fight them off?"

Kiba growled, "Well we've to go do something, Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei left to go fight, we can too. We're all ninja here aren't we?"

Ino stepped between the two to lower the tension, "I think we can at least go see what's going on. I mean Shikamaru's right we can't fight someone like that, but Kiba's right too, if one of us were in trouble like that then I think Naruto would be trying to help us too."

Shikamaru gave in, "Troublesome… Fine we'll go but we are not getting involved in the fight, if the reaction our sensei's gave us was any clue then we are seriously outclassed here."

All of the genin nodded and took off towards Naruto's house with determined looks. Hinata's palms were shaking at the thought of Naruto's well being, 'Naruto-kun… Please be alright, people are coming to help you. Just be okay.'

XxX

Naruto felt himself pulled into his mindscape. As he opened his eyes he saw Kyuubi's concerned face as she held his head in her lap. As he sat up he found them in a meadow. Naruto stood up to face Kyuubi who was still sitting down, "Kyuubi-chan, what's going on? Why am I here, did I black out?"

She frowned and nodded, "**You lost consciousness as soon as Kakashi got to you. The Uchiha's blasted Sharingan gave you a blast of genjutsu that really messed with your head Naruto-kun. You're lucky you can even access your mindscape at all right now.**"

Naruto looked around, "I need to wake up, Kakashi is all alone out there fighting my battle for me. What's the use of being a chunin if I can't even fight my own battle when I need to. S-class nuke-nin or not this is still my fight."

Kyuubi stood and embraced the boy, "**Naruto-kun, I don't think you can win yet against people like this. Even if you use a tail of my chakra it still wouldn't be enough. These are elite shinobi. For all intents and purposes you are still a rookie, in the first year of your career.**"

Naruto replied to her, "Then give me two tails then. Whatever I have to do to back Kakashi up and fight these clowns off."

Kyuubi pulled him back and gave him a stern look, "**No… One tail is all your body can handle for now. If you use any more chakra than that then it will start having adverse effects on your body, it will harm you Naruto-kun.**"

Naruto held his eyes closed as he gripped his palms, "I can't just lay here like a vegetable and be a non-factor. I have to get back up and fight, people need me here."

Kyuubi huffed, "**You just have to be all stubborn and bullheaded don't you?**" She shook her head and smiled at him, "**I guess you wouldn't be nearly as interesting if you weren't so stupid huh?**"

Naruto shrugged as he faded from his mindscape and regained his senses back in reality where Kakashi was still standing over him.

Naruto noticed everyone standing still and not moving, "Kakashi, what's going on?"

Kakashi kept his vision on the two enemies ahead, "It's a standoff Naruto. The first move could decide the battle, it's a high-stakes game here."

Naruto nodded and groaned as he tried to stand while Kakashi remained in front of him, "Are you sure you can stand Naruto? You look pretty rough."

Naruto reached his feet with a stumble, "I can't just let you fight my fights for me like this all alone Kakashi. If these guys want me then they've got me. This is my problem, help is welcome, but it's still my issue. So let's finish this."

"ITACHI!"

All eyes looked towards the side to see Sasuke with his Sharingan active. Kakashi tried to stop the boy from attacking, "Sasuke no! Stand down, you can't fight him!"

Kisame smirked, "Aww, it's like one big Uchiha family reunion eh Itachi?"

Sasuke charged up his Chidori and smirked at his brother, "You told me to hate you and grow strong, well today is the day you die! Chidori!"

Sasuke broke out in a quick sprint across the field before thrusting the assassination technique at Itachi. Itachi simply caught Sasuke by the wrist as the jutsu dispersed. Sasuke looked on in anger as Itachi looked at Sasuke with indifference, "Sorry little brother, but we're not here for you today. You still aren't strong enough, foolish Sasuke, you can't kill me, not as weak as you are."

Sasuke made a move and Itachi broke his wrist. As Sasuke cried out Itachi began to pummel him as Naruto and Kakashi looked on, "Kakashi we have to do something! Itachi is beating him to a pulp." Kakashi twitched as he watched Itachi's onslaught.

Itachi eventually grabbed Sasuke by his collar and looked in his eyes, "Temper your hatred Sasuke, you are still far too weak to interest me… Tsukoyomi." Naruto heard these words but it was too late as Sasuke screamed out loud before passing out.

Naruto yelled and ran at the men until another voice rang out from a distance, "Doton: Yomi Numa (Earth Release: Underworld Swamp)!"

As the ground turned into a dark viscous fluid Itachi and Kisame jumped away in retreat as Jiraiya arrived on the scene, "Kami kid I can't leave you alone for two hours or else you'll get into something huh?"

Jiraiya canceled his jutsu and retrieved Sasuke before walking over to Kakashi and Naruto. He handed Sasuke over to Kakashi, "He looks rough, what did Itachi do to him?"

Naruto looked over his teammate, "He did the same thing he did to me, the only reason I'm in decent shape is because of 'her,' Sasuke doesn't have that luxury so I can only imagine what is wrong with him now… That attack isn't a joke."

Asuma and Kurenai landed just before the rest of the rookie 9 and looked at the scene. Asuma whistled as he and Kurenai walked over, "Damn, you guys really didn't mess around did you?"

Jiraiya looked at Sasuke's unconscious form, "Kakashi, go ahead and take Sasuke to the hospital now." Kakashi nodded before he shunshined away."

Naruto sighed as the genin all ran over to him and surrounded him. Sakura looked him over before she spoke, "Naruto what happened to Sasuke-kun? Why is he going to the hospital?"

Naruto looked at her with a sad face, "Itachi beat the crap out of him and used the strongest genjutsu I've ever seen to more or less scatter his brains."

Sakura gasped as Ino spoke next, "What? What do you mean you saw it? How strong is it?"

Naruto shook his head, "That move… It lets Itachi take you to his own world where he can torture you for three days… It's horrible, the only reason I'm in one piece is because my mind is concrete, otherwise I wouldn't be any better off than Sasuke." Naruto spit out some blood and leftover bile before he wiped his mouth.

Choji came up to him, "Are you alright? What happened? Did you guys win?"

Naruto held his head as he shook it, "No… We got our asses kicked, or should I say _I _got _my_ ass kicked. If Kakashi and Jiraiya, hell even Sasuke, didn't show up I wouldn't even be here right now. I couldn't do a thing but retreat and defend, they completely owned me." Naruto kneeled and punched the ground, "Dammit! I'm so weak I couldn't even keep Sasuke from getting hurt… What kind of chunin am I?"

Hinata walked up and kneeled down next to him before embracing the boy, "Naruto-kun you're n-not weak. T-That was Itachi Uchiha. You can't fight people like that yet no matter how good you are." She felt the tenseness of his body calm considerably, "You will get good enough to fight him one day, but not now… Don't worry about it."

Naruto smiled and returned her hug, "Thank you Hinata-chan… I'm just upset that I was so worthless in that fight. Itachi and Kisame worked me over like I was nothing, but you're right."

Naruto pulled away from her hug and gave her a smile before he stood to face Jiraiya, "So… Did it go well? Is Gaara alright now?"

Jiraiya nodded, "Yep, your Suna buddy is gonna be fine, I fixed his seal to let him keep the Shukaku's psyche out of his thoughts. That kid will be getting a good night's sleep from now on I'm sure."

Naruto nodded and looked around the area from his apartment to the path they blazed to the field, "This has been one hell of a span of two hours I swear… I need a shot and I don't even drink… yet." He looked up at Jiraiya, "Alright, we still have a job to do I guess, so let's get out of here and get to work."

Jiraiya nodded and motioned for Naruto to follow him. As he walked with Jiraiya, Naruto turned around to wave to his friends, "Alright… I really have to go now. I'll be back soon you guys."

As they eventually exited the village gates Naruto heaved a massive sigh while Jiraiya looked at him, "You alright kid? They didn't hurt you too bad did they?"

Naruto shook his head, "No they cracked me good a few times but I'm just fine, it doesn't change the fact that I got my ass handed to me just now. It sucks, no matter how good those guys are."

Jiraiya smiled as he put his hand on Naruto's shoulder, "Well then it's a good thing I decided to teach you a little something while we're out on the job huh?"

Naruto looked up at the tall man who had a large grin on, "Teach me huh? That sounds pretty cool, what are you going to show me?"

Jiraiya patted the boy on his shoulder, "What if I said that I was going to teach you a move that can go toe-to-toe with Chidori and beat it into the dirt?"

Naruto's eyes widened as a grin spread across his face. He chuckled as he shook his head, "Ero-sennin have I told you that I love you today?"

Jiraiya sweat-dropped and glared at Naruto, "Stop calling me that gaki…"

Naruto sweat-dropped, "Sorry….. I love you too Ero-sennin."

**YEAH! I've got one thing to say, you know what really grinds my gears? Kishimoto is making Naruto look like a bitch in the manga. Who the fuck tells the guy that turned on you, kicked your ass twice, is currently trying to kidnap you and pull out your soul, and shoved his hand through your chest, 'if I have to kill you Sasuke then I'll die along with you.'? That sounds like some gay shit to me. If it was me I'd have been like, 'Yeah man we had some good times didn't we? … Wait… No we fucking didn't! Oh well then.' And then you blow his damn head off and go home. He needs to bring this shit back to Konoha to end the arc so we can get some fallout from the mile-a-minute style shit he's been putting out. Hinata confessed to Naruto SIX MONTHS AGO! Six months and not hide nor hair has been mentioned about it since then. That was supposed to be some major shit and other than an 8-tail freakout from Naruto not a damn word has been uttered about it. Come on now I need some closure damn it.**

**Sasuke has been bleeding from his eyes for the last 3 months of chapters and seemingly ran out of chakra about 8 different times before confronting Sakura and Kakashi can't just kill him right quick. Sasuke just got through getting his ass whipped by Danzo and before that all the other Kage at the summit and Naruto, a fresh Naruto, who hasn't fought jack-shit in I don't know how long couldn't just knock him out right quick and drag his ass home, and he showed up IN Sage Mode. That's not a good look…**

**And I'll say it here because I'm awesome like that… Madara Uchiha/Tobi is Obito Uchiha. Because I'm Kenchi and I'm… AWESOME!**

**Good day.**


	26. Story of the Year

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. My brother currently knows this seeing as how I just stabbed him in the neck with a plastic butter knife a minute or two ago because I had to write this shit again. It could've been anyone, but he chose to walk into my room at that exact moment to ask for my car keys. He's sitting by the door crying like a little girl and bleeding on the floor, but the good news is that at least he got my keys.

**Chapter 26: Story of the Year**

Naruto and Jiraiya had been moving for the better part of three weeks or so since the attack within Konoha's gates. Naruto, while still depressed over his utter defeat by Itachi and Kisame, got over it and immersed himself into his training shortly after it was revealed to him what exactly he would be doing to get stronger.

_Flashback (Day After Akatsuki Attack)_

_Naruto and Jiraiya were back on the road after a night spent in a small town inn. Having been told the previous day about a new jutsu, Naruto was slightly restless. As they were traversing across the countryside Naruto finally took it upon himself to grill Jiraiya in his training, "Okay ero-sennin you said you'd teach me something that would help me get stronger so what do you have for me, I'm ready for anything you've got."_

_Jiraiya chuckled and looked at the boy as he was grinning in excitement, "I mean last time you taught me how to summon giant toads so I can only imagine what you've got for me now. OH! I know! You're gonna teach me to fly or something right?"_

_Jiraiya bursted out in laughter as a voice rang in Naruto's head, "__**Seriously Naruto-kun what is it with you and flying huh?**__" _

_Naruto frowned, 'Oh come on Kyuubi-chan, you know it would be cool, I'm still counting on some way to do it somehow.'_

_Jiraiya calmed down and stopped them by a tree, "No Naruto I won't be going that big with your new technique, but it's still damned useful all the same. It's a combat jutsu known as the __Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere)__."_

_Naruto looked up at the man, "Rasengan, huh? You said it was an attack jutsu? What can it do?" Jiraiya smirked as he formed a blue ball of chakra in his hand as Naruto went bug-eyed, 'Whoa! Chakra so strong you can see it moving…' _

_Jiraiya walked over to the tree and ran the attack into it, carving out a good chunk of the tree trunk. Naruto was almost salivating at the sight of the jutsu as Jiraiya went into an explanation, "This attack makes a highly compressed ball of chakra that you ram into your enemy. I like to see it as being close to __Chidori__, but I think it's a better jutsu, __Chidori__ has too many requirements and detriments; hand-signs, and the tunnel vision it causes for those without Sharingan, not to mention how fast you have to really be for it to be effective."_

_Jiraiya walked back over to Naruto and patted him on the shoulder, "No I think this jutsu will be perfect for you, all it requires is that you mold the chakra the right way to use correctly, and when you master it your Uchiha teammate can't copy it."_

_Naruto grinned widely, "Well then this will fit right with me, I wanted an attack he couldn't really copy and that looked really cool. So let's get started then!" _

_(End Flashback)_

As they walked towards the next town Jiraiya explained the concept of the jutsu and how learning it would be broken down into three steps. The first step would be to pop a water balloon, which had taken him a few days to get down, but he eventually solved it with help from an outside source.

It had taken him a week to get step for the second to go right, which was bursting a rubber ball, however he eventually got it again with a little help from an outside source, this time from Jiraiya himself.

_(Flashback- 2 weeks after leaving Konoha)_

_Naruto and Jiraiya had come to a stop by a major roadway intersection. As Naruto continued to work on the rubber ball all he could manage to do was to punch a hole in it. Frustrated by a lack of progress he walked over to Jiraiya who was seated on the ground making marks on a map._

_As he walked up to Jiraiya he sat down and pulled out another ball as he looked over to the white-haired man. He began focusing his chakra as he asked him a question, "Okay so I know we're looking for someone, I've figured that much, but I never really found out exactly who we're supposed to be looking for and why the hell they're so hard to find."_

_Jiraiya looked over at the boy focusing on the ball in his hand. He saw Naruto was slightly sweating as he worked on the step. Jiraiya reached into his pocket and began to talk, "She's a sannin like myself, she was trained by Sarutobi-sensei just like me and Orochimaru."_

_Naruto gritted his teeth as he grunted out a response, "Well if she's as old as you she's probably some old granny I bet. Finding some old woman shouldn't be so hard."_

_Jiraiya chuckled as he reached into his robe and pulled out a picture that he slid in front of Naruto's face as he was working. Naruto's eyes focused on the photo and he dropped his jaw, "What? No way is this the lady we're looking for. I call bullshit!"_

_Jiraiya laughed at Naruto's reaction, "I don't know if she'd be angry or flattered at you for that response. This is Tsunade, the woman we're out to find and bring back."_

_Naruto let the blood flow to his head before he subconsciously forced the balloon to burst. Jiraiya blinked, "Hey gaki you finally finished step two. Good going."_

_Naruto quirked an eyebrow as he grabbed another rubber ball and tried the same thing. As he forced a pressure to his head the ball exploded in his hands. As Jiraiya stood up Naruto rose with him, "Well now that that's done we can get moving, I'll tell you about step three as we walk."_

_Naruto grabbed his gear and he followed Jiraiya down the road, "Well hot damn then…"_

_(End Flashback)_

The third step ended up being trying to confine the size of the Rasengan to the size of a small balloon to combine the steps. This process had ended up eating up the remainder of their trip to the point at hand.

Naruto and Jiraiya were headed towards Tanzaku Town in order to follow up on Jiraiya's current lead on Tsunade's location. As Jiraiya looked over his student's progress he was amazed to see Naruto actually holding the shape for a second or two before the balloon inevitably exploded. Jiraiya quirked his eyebrow at this scene, 'The kid is going through this way faster than I thought he would. It's amazing to see it happen.'

Jiraiya got Naruto's attention, "Hey gaki." Naruto looked up at his master as he continued, "You got all of these steps really quickly, it took me 3 months to get this jutsu to work and it's almost done for you after a few weeks."

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know… I have been water-walking for over a year. Big Boss really got me strong before he was forced to stop working with me, I don't know what I would be like if he didn't get me trained up before graduating." Naruto pulled out a balloon and blew it up, "Not only that, but using Kyuubi-chan's chakra actually helps me get my base control down better."

Jiraiya quirked his eyebrow, "How? I thought that having so much chakra would make it nearly impossible to control."

Naruto looked up in a reflective fashion, "Well since I've been training with it I've been using my jutsu with it so that I could use them in real fights without too much trouble. She said that doing that and being able to reign in so much of her demonic chakra to properly use the jutsu I attempt so that they don't blow up in my face is actually a really good chakra control exercise. I've been doing that since the month before the chunin exams so I guess that's why I have such kick-ass control all thanks to her…"

Naruto smirked as he heard Kyuubi's voice, "**Love you too Naru-kun.**"

'Thank you Kyuubi-chan…' Naruto rubbed his head, "Still… being trained by Big Boss really did help, even back when he was a rookie genin he trained me. I really appreciate what he did, I have to repay him one day."

Jiraiya pondered over Naruto's words, 'That boy's brother got him prepared… I wonder if there is actually a limit to what I can actually teach him. The Kyuubi in him actually lets him use its chakra freely and he is a very capable fighter, able to fight a jounin and win just months out of the academy. This brat has serious potential.'

Naruto held the balloon as his jutsu coursed through it. As a smile can on Naruto's face the balloon exploded in his hand, "Damn it I was feeling it that time!"

Jiraiya put a smile on his face as he looked back out onto the road, 'This kid is definitely going to be an interesting one I bet.'

XxX

The pair arrived in Tanzaku Town by nightfall. Naruto had put up the balloons for the day as he and Jiraiya walked through the town.

Naruto huffed at the old man, "You really do give me useless information you know that?"

Jiraiya snorted in exasperation, "Kid… My advice is useful… You have fan-girls, and you're just coming into your own manhood. They are all willing to get with the town heroes so why don't you and your brother take advantage of that?"

Naruto glared at Jiraiya, "Ero-sennin… Big Boss is dating Haku-chan, even if he was a scumbag and was actually stupid enough to cheat on her she would encase his scrote in ice like she did to me, if not worse." Jiraiya cringed at that thought as Naruto unconsciously grabbed his groin area upon recalling a bad memory.

Jiraiya recovered and smirked, "Yeah well what about you?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "What about me you lecher?"

Jiraiya grinned, "What about you and your hero status? Those young ladies are wanting for you just as badly as your brother now."

Naruto snorted, "Fuck that… They didn't give a damn beforehand so why would I want any shallow bitches like that now. Back then they didn't want me, I couldn't even be far enough away from them for their tastes, and now I can see why Sasuke had his attitude for them… Poor bastard had to deal with that every day. But anyway, I want a girl that likes me for me, not just for the fact that I'm getting my props right now."

Jiraiya nodded, "Like the Hyuuga girl."

Naruto nodded, "Yeah like Hinata…- Wait what?" Jiraiya chuckled as Naruto tried to stumble back over his words, "No not like that… I mean maybe… I mean no! …I mean, if she wanted to I would… I mea- Stop confusing me ero-sennin!"

Jiraiya chuckled, "You've got it bad gaki… Good luck." Naruto fumed in silence as Jiraiya directed them off to the side, "Alright let's get a bite to eat before we turn in for the night."

As they walked into the tavern Jiraiya's eyes focused on a familiar sight in a green gambler's jacket, 'No way… This was too easy…' As they got closer however his hunch turned out to be correct, "Tsunade?"

Tsunade stood up from her booth in the tavern, "Jiraiya? What on Earth are you doing here?"

Jiraiya feigned surprise at seeing her as he took Naruto over to her booth, "Why does it have to be something suspicious? Why can't we just have been able to find you on coincidence?"

Tsunade, who to Jiraiya already seemed a little inebriated, actually allowed them to with her and her companion.

Jiraiya sat and let Naruto take the outside seat as Tsunade looked the blonde boy over, "So Jiraiya… Who's the brat."

Naruto slumped in his seat, 'Why the hell does everyone always say that crap when they meet me? It's ridiculous.'

Jiraiya smiled as he patted Naruto on the shoulder, "This is my new apprentice Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto smiled and nodded at the ladies in the booth.

The black-haired woman with Tsunade smiled at the boy, "Hello Naruto-kun I'm Shizune and this is Ton-Ton." The pig in her arms oinked in affirmation.

Tsunade downed another cup of sake, "This is your new apprentice? He sure seems like a real step down from the last one you had Jiraiya."

Jiraiya chuckled while Naruto gritted his teeth, "You might be wrong about that Tsunade. Honestly the kid just keeps surprising me. Don't count him out."

Tsunade eventually got sick of the reunion, "Alright enough with the pleasantries Jiraiya… Why the hell are you here? And don't give me any catching up bullshit that I know you'll start to spout. What do you want?"

Jiraiya grabbed a cup and poured himself some sake, "Never could get one past you could I Tsunade? Fine…" Jiraiya downed his cup and sighed before he continued, "Sarutobi-sensei wants you to come back to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage."

Naruto's shin hit the table as he spasmed in surprise, "Really? This lady is really that important that she's going to be the Hokage? You didn't tell me that when we left or even when I asked you about it!"

Tsunade snorted, "Well you can go tell him that I decline, there's no way that they'll get me to go back there. Especially for that job." Naruto looked stunned as she took another drink from her cup.

Naruto cocked an eyebrow in confusion, "What? I don't get it… Why would you not want to be Hokage? It just doesn't make any sense to me… I'd take that job in a heartbeat if I could get it. What is your deal lady?"

Tsunade smirked at Naruto as she took another sip, "I don't want it because every single Hokage has been a fool to take that job." Naruto dropped his jaw in disbelief but Tsunade just continued, "All of the previous Hokage were all killed before it was their time. And the Yondaime Hokage, he was the biggest fool of all."

Naruto suddenly felt his ears burning as she carried on, "Hokage… Hah, as far as I'm concerned that's a sucker's bet. Anyone that even wants to take that job is a damned fool." She closed her eyes smirking as she finished her rant until she felt a gust in front of her. As she opened her eyes she saw a metal fist shaking in front of her face.

Jiraiya was holding on to Naruto's right arm when he shot over the table to punch Tsunade in the face, "Damn it Naruto calm down!" Jiraiya was actually straining to hold back the metal appendage, 'Damn gaki… You're an ox aren't you?'

Tsunade stared into the glaring eyes of Naruto, "What's your problem brat? Getiing cranky staying up so late past your bedtime?"

Naruto snapped back at her, "Shut the hell up you bat!" As she reeled back from the verbal barb Naruto continued, "Every single Hokage knew what they were getting into. They knew that they couldn't put themselves above the village and died for their people gladly. And if I had to I would too, that's what being a ninja for your village is about, in case you forgot."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes, "Who do you think you're talking to you little runt? Do you know who I am?"

Naruto didn't falter, "I don't give a damn who you _think_ you are… Because all I see is an old lady that lost her spark a long time ago."

Shizune stiffened as Jiraiya sighed, "Kid you really like shooting your mouth off don't you?"

Tsunade grabbed Naruto by his collar, "You and me, outside now…"

Naruto snatched himself out of her grip, "You don't have to tell me twice old lady…"

As they stood across from each other in the middle of the street Naruto hopped on his toes to shake himself out while Tsunade just stood with her hands on her hips, "Alright brat, I say that I can beat you only using one finger."

Naruto sneered at her, "Have I ever told you how much I love being underestimated?" Naruto threw his cloak off and revealed his entire arm.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow as she watched the boy stretch out before their encounter, "Kid what kind of a gauntlet is that? It's massive…"

Naruto paid her no mind as he continued to stretch, "It's not a gauntlet lady… It's not any kind of weapon by nature, it's my arm now… It's auto-mail if you didn't know." Naruto knocked on his gauntlet causing a clanging noise, "That's the good stuff right there."

Tsunade opened her mouth to speak but Naruto cut her off, "Okay so let's get this over with, I've got places to go and people to see. Time to get an ass-whupping."

Tsunade motioned for him to come with a smirk. Naruto threw his hands in the air in a nonchalant fashion before clapping and slamming his hands into the ground to force rock from the ground up into Tsunade's face. She narrowly blocked the attack wither finger as shock came over her face. Naruto grinned widely at her, "You like that? Because I'm not even getting started yet. I'm no pushover lady!"

Naruto ran in to attack her as a smile came on Tsunade's face, 'That little idiot actually thinks he can fight me hand to hand.' Naruto shot in with a low kick to her legs that she dodged. She tried to counter using her finger to chop downward at Naruto as he pushed himself back and rolled out of harm's way. As he looked at her he found that she had made a crater with her finger.

Naruto's eyes widened as he looked at Tsunade blow on her finger while grinning at him. He pointed a shaky finger at her, "Wh-wh-what the hell was that!"

Jiraiya answered for him, "That is one of Tsunade's specialties, she loads up her chakra in a body part of her choice and releases it directly on point of contact with a target. You got lucky that you moved gaki." Tsunade gloated over Naruto's expression, "If you're that scared to keep on fighting then I guess you're just a brat that wants to play ninja."

Naruto gritted his teeth, "I'm not a genin, jiji promoted me for a reason… Because he knows that I'm good… I won't let you talk down to me just because you like living off of your past glory." Naruto lifted his fist into the air, "For those of you not in the know… I am Naruto Uzumaki, the Fullmetal Alchemist!"

Shizune widened her eyes, "You? I heard that the Fullmetal Alchemist beat the Suna's jinchuuriki single-handedly, even after his full demon transformation."

Naruto smirked, "That would be me… So I guess it's time to show you just what I can do."

Naruto made a clone and began running towards Tsunade in a criss-cross pattern. Both clones spoke as they ran forward, "Which one is the real me? Can you tell?"

Tsunade snickered at this ploy, "Bunshin? That's the best you've got to beat me with, that stupid academy technique is all you've got?"

As they drew close Tsunade hit the ground with her finger and made a fissure that forced one of the Naruto's to slip up. As the other Naruto simply ran past her Tsunade walked up to the Naruto on the ground with a smirk, "What a stupid idea. I'm a sannin you rookie, a stupid move like that won't work on me."

Naruto looked up and gave Tsunade a dark grin, "I'm sorry, the Naruto you're looking for isn't here right now, please leave a message after the BOOM!" The 'Naruto' on the ground exploded with Tsunade at ground-zero as the real Naruto watched from a decent ways away, "You really shouldn't underestimate a person like me, I've lived through half of the battles I've been in because people like you kept looking past me. Ask Zabuza Momochi, Raiga Kurosuki, Neji Hyuuga, hell ask just about any person I've ever fought who's not dead. I. DON'T. LOSE!"

A figure shot out of the smoke and rushed at Naruto, the figure, which turned out to be Tsunade had an angry look on her face as she took furious swipes at Naruto with her finger. Naruto whipped it into full retreat as he leapt back while narrowly dodging Tsunade's assault.

Naruto lifted his right arm to collide with Tsunade's finger. As a massive clang rang out Tsunade cringed but spun to deliver a backhand strike just as Naruto started gathering chakra in his left hand. The shot sent him flying and as his left hand hit the ground a swirl like marking was left on the ground.

Tsunade saw this and turned to Jiraiya, "Jiraiya, you actually taught this kid the Rasengan?"

Jiraiya shrugged, "Hey I can teach him what I want, he's my student."

Naruto stood up as Tsunade kept up her rant, "He'll never learn it! That's the Yondaime Hokage's jutsu, a kid like that will never get it."

Naruto spit dirt and gravel as he looked at Tsunade, "Screw you lady… I can learn any damn thing I want to. What do you know. I can learn the move, I swear it, and I never go back on my word, that's my nindo."

Tsunade rubbed her eyes before her attitude came back, "Gaki I bet that you can't learn that move in a week."

Naruto grinned, "Whatever… What are the stakes so I'll know if this is even worth it?"

Tsunade grabbed her necklace, "I'll give you this necklace if you win."

Naruto gave her a dead-pan look, "I'm not really enough of a fruitcake to be that coerced by jewelry."

Jiraiya slapped his face, "Gaki that necklace is worth three mountains and all of the gold you could find inside of them."

Naruto shook his head as if to say 'so what?' "I don't care… What the hell would I do with it? I wouldn't sell it, and Big Boss would bust my balls if he caught me wearing it."

Tsunade pondered for a moment, "If you win I'll also come back with you to Konoha, and I'll admit that you have what it takes to become Hokage."

Naruto raised his eyebrow, "And what if I lose? What do you get?"

Tsunade chuckled, "If you lose then you have to give me all of the money in your wallet-."

Naruto immediately cut in, "Deal."

Tsunade wasn't finished, "And you have to give up your stupid life goal of being Hokage."

Naruto put his hand on his chin in thought, "…Okay you've got a deal, one week."

Tsunade laughed as she turned to leave, "Good luck brat… You'll need it. Shizune, let's go!" As Shizune caught up with Tsunade they were both stopped by a shout.

"Hey baachan!"

Tsunade turned with a vein on her head, "What the hell did you say brat?"

Naruto put out his right hand, "Pay up please…" Naruto formed the blue sphere of chakra and grinded it into the ground, carving up a considerable chunk, "That's game baachan, I win."

Tsunade looked speechless as Jiraiya ran over to Naruto, "When the hell did you finish it kid?"

Naruto shrugged, "Honestly I was just going to show her what I had so far and tell her how long it had taken. Seriously I didn't see this coming at all."

Naruto tried to make another in his left hand and succeeded, "Hah yeah! It wasn't a fluke." He scratched his head, "I guess I work better after I get my ass kicked or something like that."

Tsunade looked on in surprise, 'I really didn't put much stock into him and then he just blows my bet out of the water…' She smiled as she looked down, 'I guess this kid will be pretty interesting in the future.' She walked over to Naruto and put the necklace around his neck, "I'm a woman of my word kid. You win…" Naruto smiled as she awarded him the victory.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek, "You really showed me I guess… I hope you actually pull it off and become Hokage."

Naruto nodded and put a hand on her shoulder, "Well you can see it happen firsthand when we all go home."

Tsunade sighed and looked a Jiraiya, "Fine… We'll stay the night and then we'll head back to Konoha."

XxX

As the group began to walk along the plains leaving Tanzaku Town, Tsunade and Shizune found it hard not to have a kind of pep in their step as they watched Naruto walk ahead of them with a sense of accomplishment.

The widespread good feelings from the group were short-lives however when a voice familiar to all made its presence clear

"Ku ku ku… Hello Jiraiya, Tsunade… My dear old teammates."

**And that is done. I am damn surprised that I ended up getting 10,000 hits. That seems like a shit-load of people reading this thing. That is very good motivation seeing as how I just started writing this thing like a month ago. I love the support, I don't think I've gotten a bad review yet, maybe some constructive ones, but no real bad ones, and that is fucking inspiring seeing as how I thought I couldn't write for shit two months ago.**

**I'm going to start another story, but I will keep up with this one at the same pace because I love writing it, it's a fucking blast to do and I still have a ton of ideas for it.**

**You keep reading it, I'll keep writing it **


	27. Snake In The Grass

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I am currently waiting at college after posting bail stemming from my arrest after stabbing my brother in the neck with a butter knife. He's fine… I'm the one really suffering here, don't they know how much not owning these things hurts my heart? Don't they?

**Chapter 27: Snake In The Grass**

"Ku ku ku… Hello Jiraiya, Tsunade… My dear old teammates."

Jiraiya and Tsunade froze in their tracks while Naruto took up a defensive stance along with Shizune at the revelation of the current threat. Tsunade took note of the empty sleeves on Orochimaru's shirt. As Naruto noticed where her attention was being placed he smirked, "Hey Orochimaru… Are you grabbing life by the horns?"

Orochimaru sneered at Naruto as a hiss came from his throat, "Damn you child… You and your bastard brother. I will kill you both!" Naruto feigned shaking in fear before flipping Orochimaru off.

Tsunade stopped the pissing contest between the blonde chunin and the arm-less sannin, "Orochimaru what happened to you? And why are you here?"

Jiraiya cut in, "I know why he's here. He wants you to see to a surgery that will give him his arms back. Isn't that right Orochimaru."

Orochimaru chuckled, "You're not the same baka you were all those years ago Jiraiya… Yes my dear Tsunade, I would like to enlist your assistance to healing my arms."

Naruto lashed out, "You can't do that baachan! This asshole deserves not having any goddamn arms! I wish the Gate would have ripped your black rotten heart out instead of your pasty flimsy arms." Naruto smirked, "Although I bet Big Boss was grinning from ear to ear when he actually called out the Gate right?"

Orochimaru slowly began seething in anger as he remembered Jushiro actually was grinning as he summoned the Gate of Truth to rip off his arms. Kabuto tried playing mediator, "Please Lady Tsunade. I myself am a decent medic-ninja myself but we require someone of your own expertise for such a delicate surgery."

Naruto squinted as he recognized the silver-haired man in purple, "Hey you're that Kabuto guy that gave all of my friends that damn info on me aren't you?"

Kabuto chuckled as he adjusted his glasses, "Ah Naruto-kun, what is a cute little genin like you doing out so far from home?"

Naruto smirked as he lifted his cloak to reveal his chunin vest, "Sorry you four-eyed traitor, but I'm not just some cute little genin. My ass got promoted for stopping your stupid invasion."

Kabuto humphed, "You're still just a pawn in the grand scheme of things. You're still just a baby ninja."

Naruto threw his cloak over his shoulder to reveal his arms as he prepared for a fight, "I won't really argue with that… But just remember that even a pawn can kill a king Kabuto. Everyone is mortal…"

Orochimaru attempted to appeal to Tsunade's weaknesses, "But Tsunade I can bring back your brother and your lover from the dead. I will do this for you if you simply heal me and give me my arms back."

Tsunade recoiled, 'Dan… Nawaki… Can he really do such a thing?'

Jiraiya growled, "You're absolutely low Orochimaru, preying on her like that… Don't you have any moral scruples at all?"

Orochimaru just chuckled, "We're ninja Jiraiya, we don't fight fair."

Naruto saw the internal debate raging on Tsunade's face as she stood in place. Naruto pointed at Orochimaru, "Don't listen to him baachan! All he'll do is use someone's body to project their souls… They'll be little less than golems. Just like what he did with the Shodaime and Nidaime Hokages during the invasion."

Tsunade's eyes flickered with life for a moment, "What did you say Naruto?"

Naruto kept his steely gaze on Orochimaru and Kabuto, "He used his own genin as sacrifices to put the souls of the first two Hokage into their bodies to fight jiji and Big Boss and my sensei."

Tsunade clinched her fists and launched herself at Orochimaru and Kabuto, narrowly missing them both with an earth-shattering punch. Orochimaru looked at her in fury, "Tsunade what are you doing!"

She cracked her knuckles as Jiraiya stood by her side, "You dare come to me after you used my grandfather and granduncle as your own personal slaves?" She leaked out a massive amount of killing intent, "I would never bastardize Nawaki and Dan's memories by allowing them to be brought back by your perverse jutsu, no matter how badly I miss them."

Jiraiya put a hand on her shoulder as he stared at Orochimaru, "Come on Tsunade-hime… We have a snake to kill."

Tsunade smiled in response, "This has been a long time coming Orochimaru. Today the sannin are no more."

Naruto chuckled in the background, "He may have been great in the past, but I just can't see anything legendary about some pasty faced pedophile with no arms."

Orochimaru had had enough of Naruto's talking, "Kabuto, handle the girl and the Kyuubi-brat while I take Jiraiya and Tsunade."

As the three veteran ninja leapt off elsewhere Naruto and Shizune stared down Kabuto who had a grin on his face, "You two think you can fight me? I can go one-on-one with Kakashi Hatake. Tsunade's servant and the Fullmetal pipsqueak, you two don't stand a chance."

Shizune growled at Kabuto while Naruto clinched his fists, "I'm gonna rip your tongue out and lick my ass with it."

This statement stunned Kabuto for a second, 'Wait, what the hell did he just say?'

Shizune sweat-dropped and stared at Naruto who caught her disbelieving gaze, "Uh sorry Shizune-neechan, it was supposed to throw him off, not you too."

He looked back at Kabuto, "But I do love the fact that you're still underestimating me… I guess you just won't get it through your head until you're laying on your back looking up at me with blood-vision. But that's just fine with me."

Naruto transmuted his blade-arm and crouched down, "Neechan how do you fight?"

Shizune looked at Naruto, "I'm something of a long-range fighter, I do my best at a distance."

Naruto nodded, "Good, because I like it up close and personal. Get my back would you? I'll try to make sure he doesn't get close."

Shizune nodded as Naruto clapped and transmuted a halberd from the ground and held it at the ready. Shizune pulled up the sleeves of her kimono to reveal her arm pieces with her poison needles. Naruto smiled at Shizune and shrugged, "Here goes nothing…"

Naruto rushed in to engage Kabuto who just sidestepped Naruto's first thrust before shooting out a backfist that Naruto parried with a resounding crack. Naruto pushed Kabuto back before he launched the naginata at Kabuto. Kabuto leapt out of the way of his throw just in time to be forced to dodge a mass of earth being shot at him by jumping over it. Kabuto landed on top of the upturned earth with a smirk.

Kabuto's other hand glowed green as he healed his left hand, "Ah that's better. You see Naruto-kun, you can't beat me by attrition, no matter how tough you are, I'm a medic. No matter what you do I can heal it."

Naruto smirked, "Well I have a great medic of my own right here, Shizune-neechan's got my back." Naruto crossed his arms, "And you still think I can't beat you right? Then I guess all I have to do is present you with a _booming_ victory." Kabuto heard a sizzling sound and looked down to find an explosive note almost fully activated.

Naruto plugged his ears as he witnessed Kabuto get caught in the explosion. Naruto kept his eyes peeled as he scanned the area around him, 'Where is he? Not anywhere I can see…' Naruto's eyes widened as he transmuted his arm to his rifle and turned around, "Shizune-neechan move now!" Shizune ducked to the side as Kabuto came from the ground to take a swing at her with his glowing hands Naruto took aim at the bespectacled ninja and fired, "Shot Sniper! Eat this you teme!"

Kabuto looked up in time to hear the bang from Naruto's auto-mail as he fired a shell of metal from his arm. Kabuto quick-drew a kunai and deflected the bullet, however it ricocheted and hit him in the thigh. Kabuto groaned as the burning hot metal set itself into his leg.

Naruto set his arm back to normal as he began to clap while Shizune landed next to him, "That was an impressive attack Naruto-kun." Naruto grinned at the praise, "Thank you neechan." He looked back at Kabuto who was clutching his leg. As he looked up at Naruto with angry eyes Naruto smiled innocently, "You shouldn't have been talking shit…"

As Kabuto placed his glowing green hands on his thigh the bullet was forced out by the repairing muscle and tissue. Kabuto stood up, "You can still leave Naruto, this battle is no place for a child."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "I just shot you in the leg, you haven't laid a single hand on me or Shizune-neechan yet, you had to heal yourself twice to keep fighting well, and you still think that I don't belong in the fight?" Naruto shook his head, "You're retarded you know that?"

He looked up at Shizune and gestured to Kabuto, "I can't get it into this guy's head, he's like a brick wall you know what I'm saying?"

Kabuto growled and ran in to attack Naruto, his hands glowing with the chakra scalpels. Shizune gasped, "Naruto, don't let him hit you with those hands, they cut as fine as scalpels inside your body."

Naruto nodded, "I'm still your diversion though neechan. Pick your shot." Naruto ran up to meet Kabuto.

Kabuto's first swing was blocked by Naruto's auto-mail arm and the second was backstepped by him. Kabuto kept lashing out with precise strikes, 'All I have to do is hit him once and he's down for the count.'

Naruto kept dodging until he allowed Kabuto to thrust his fingers straight ahead before he parried with his metal arm, breaking Kabuto's fingers. Kabuto hissed in pain as he heard a subtle whistling before he jumped away to see needles implant themselves in the ground where he stood.

Shizune stood from her place in the battle as she cursed, "Damn it… I thought that was an opening." She reloaded her arm piece and ran over to Naruto.

Naruto transmuted his arm into an axe as Shizune came up next to him, "We are kicking his ass neechan, this is awesome."

XxX

(Jiraiya and Tsunade vs. Orochimaru)

Jiraiya laughed as he saw Kabuto's attempts at an offensive stall after every attack, "It looks like your little mole can't cut it against my apprentice. Too bad for you Orochimaru, at the rate it's going this won't last much longer for him."

Orochimaru chuckled, "Why would you take on a boy like that as your apprentice? Unlike Sasuke Uchiha he doesn't have the great Uchiha blood that gives the Sharingan, he isn't a genius hailed from day one as the future. Why would you waste such effort on that child?"

Jiraiya looked down to hear a loud bang as he saw a shell fly from Naruto's arm and hit Kabuto in the leg, "All a kid like Naruto really needed was someone to pay him a little mind. Whoever his brother is really needs to be commended for whipping him into shape. You might have been right about him if he never had someone to train him growing up, but the fact is that he did. And because of that I feel that he has even more potential than your little Uchiha."

Orochimaru smirked, "What was that Jiraiya?"

Jiraiya responded, "You heard me. This boy knows how to work, he puts his all into it whenever he trains. You've seen him fight first-hand, years of proper training and hard-nosed desire to learn have put him above the pack in his age group." Jiraiya smirked, "In fact, if they gave out the title after the genin graduated I believe that he would be rookie of the year, no question about it."

Orochimaru was flustered at the thought of Naruto being better than his choice of vessel, "Enough talk, after I kill both of you your brat will be next. He's been a thorn in my side from the day I've met him, killing him now can only help me in the long run."

Tsunade set herself for battle, "You'll have to kill me to get to him. I won't allow it."

Orochimaru cackled, "I won't be killing you Tsunade, I still need you to heal my arms, Jiraiya is expendable however."

Jiraiya crossed his arms, "The feeling is mutual I assure you."

Orochimaru regurgitated a snake that held Kusanagi and held the sword in his mouth. Orochimaru lunged at Jiraiya quickly to take him out of the battle. Jiraiya dodged his initial attack as Tsunade tried to catch Orochimaru with a punch while he was distracted but he contorted around her fist and slid back off to a distance.

Jiraiya retook his place at Tsunade's side, "Even without his arms he's still going to be a problem. Let me try handling him first hime. Feel free to jump in whenever you like though."

Orochimaru sneered as he shouted out, "Kabuto! With me!"

XxX

(Kabuto vs. Shizune and Naruto)

Kabuto heard Orochimaru shout from a distance, "I'm afraid we have to cut this a little bit short."

Naruto ran in to take a swing at Kabuto before he leapt away, "I'll cut you a little bit short you bastard!"

Naruto and Shizune followed hot on his heels to rejoin the rest of the fight.

XxX

Kabuto arrived by Orochimaru's side, "Lord Orochimaru." Orochimaru turned to Kabuto as the bespectacled man nodded and bit his thumb, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Kabuto summoned a massive three headed snake as he and Orochimaru stood on the heads.

Jiraiya scoffed, "That's all you've got?" Jiraiya went through a few hand-signs, "Doton: Yomi Numa (Earth Release: Swamp of the Underworld)!" A thick brown swamp appeared under the snakes, submerging them to the bottom as Orochimaru and Kabuto jumped off.

Orochimaru growled in anger, "That's it Kabuto, summon _him_…" Kabuto shot him a disbelieving look, "Are you sure Lord Orochimaru?"

Orochimaru turned a glare on Kabuto, "Are you questioning me Kabuto?"

Kabuto shook his head before activating another summoning jutsu, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

The group of Konoha ninja jumped back as Jiraiya grunted, "Damn it he actually summoned him." Jiraiya and Tsunade drew some of their own blood before going through their own summonings.

As the smoke cleared Orochimaru and Kabuto stood on the head of a monstrous purple snake, "**What have you summoned me for Orochimaru? And where exactly are my sacrifices?**"

Orochimaru smirked, "I will reward you with one-hundred sacrifices upon the completion of the battle, and I just thought you'd like the opportunity to kill Gamabunta and Katsuyu in battle."

Manda seemed to accept this as a decent reason, "**Fine… After the battle I fully expect my sacrifices.**"

Tsunade and Shizune stood atop a massive slug summon, "**What can I do for you my lady?**"

Tsunade looked out at Manda, "We're going to require your assistance in the battle Katsuyu."

"**Whatever you need my lady.**"

Jiraiya and Naruto stood on the top of Gamabunta's head, "**Katsuyu and Manda eh?**"

Jiraiya nodded, "Yes, but Katsuyu is our ally, just worry about taking out Manda."

Gamabunta took a puff of his pipe, "**I can finally get that snakeskin wallet I always wanted.**"

Naruto patted Gamabunta on the head, "Boss Toad what the hell would you put in a big ass wallet like that anyway."

All three boss summons stood around watching one another until Katsuyu launched the first attack, shooting slime at Manda. Manda used his speed to quickly evade the corrosive liquid that could melt boulder. Manda slid up to Gamabunta who took out his sword to defend against Manda's venomous bite.

As the two massive summons locked up Naruto looked at Jiraiya who was simply watching, "Well I guess I'll have to take the initiative here." Naruto made three Kage Bunshin and sent them atop Manda's head.

Orochimaru and Kabuto smirked at this display, "You really think three pathetic Kage Bunshin will be enough so early?" The clones smirked as the lead one spoke, "Not really, but then again we aren't here for you. Boom." The clones exploded on Manda's head and sent him reeling back as Gamabunta dropped his own sword out of shock. Jiraiya looked back at Naruto who shrugged, "What? Was I not supposed to try and win the fight or something?"

Jiraiya laughed, "You are a ballsy little kid you know that?" He refocused on Manda, "Gamabunta give some oil!" As he flew through the hand signs for a fireball Gamabunta spat up a glob of oil. The two conjoined to make an absurdly large blast of fire, "Katon: Gamayu Endan (Fire Release: Toad Flame Bombs)!"

The fireball hit Manda flush and consumed his body in a torrent of flames, until the body began to flake apart. Jiraiya took notice of that, "That was too easy…" Jiraiya widened his eyes, "Kawarimi… Tsunade look out!"

Manda came up from behind Katsuyu and wrapped his body around her as he began to constrict. Katsuyu burst into many tiny versions of herself to escape and went off to reform in the distance. Orochimaru narrowed his eyes to stare over at the giant slug, "Where is Tsunade?" Orochimaru got his answer quickly as Manda was hit with a heavy punch from Tsunade.

Off on Gamabunta's head Shizune joined Naruto and Jiraiya. Naruto spoke up with a disbelieving look on his face, "This fight is awesome…"

Jiraiya grinned, "That's what happens when three sannin are opponents kid." Naruto gulped, 'So this is a Kage-level battle…'

Manda again dug underground and after a moment resurfaced behind Gamabunta, fangs poised to strike, just as his attack missed Tsunade used her strength to pick up Gamabunta's sword and drive it through Manda's mouth to pin him to the ground.

Tsunade ignored Kabuto and began to pummel the armless Orochimaru who couldn't muster a defense other than dodging and it wasn't enough. As Kabuto looked to engage Tsunade to get her off of Orochimaru he felt a grinding in his back that sent him flying.

Naruto had run over from Gamabunta to hit Kabuto with a Rasengan while he had been distracted by Tsunade. Jiraiya and Shizune just looked on from Gamabunta's head. Jiraiya sweat-dropped, "I can't believe he even got that close with that thing so easily."

Naruto stood and watched Tsunade continue pounding on Orochimaru, "Wow baachan, Orochimaru can't take much more of that kind of beating."

Tsunade finally sent Orochimaru flying off of Manda's head to the ground. Tsunade was panting heavily and she overlooked the scene, "That better be enough, that really took it out of me…"

Manda dispelled himself to get himself free of the sword, which placed Tsunade and Naruto on the ground. Naruto saw Tsunade breathing heavily and ran up to her, "Baachan are you okay?"

Tsunade nodded, "I'm fine, just a little rusty, I haven't fought like this in quite a while. Come on, let's go finish this."

As Naruto and Tsunade walked over to Orochimaru, Gamabunta and Katsuyu dispelled themselves. Orochimaru shakily made it to his feet as Kabuto limped over to his side. Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Wow… You shouldn't even be able to stand up right now. Both of you."

Orochimaru glared at Tsunade, "This isn't over, I'll be back, and I will have my arms when I do."

Orochimaru and Kabuto sunk into the ground and retreated from the scene as Jiraiya and Shizune came over. Jiraiya clapped his hands together, "Okay, after that little diversion what do you say we keep on moving towards home?"

Naruto and Shizune smiled while Tsunade nodded and the four began to resume the trek back to Konoha. Tsunade looked over at Naruto who was re-adjusting his cloak to travel, "Hey how did you end up getting that arm by the way, it was pretty useful back there."

Naruto looked up at Tsunade, "You really want to know? It's a long, long, long ass story. It might take quite a while to explain everything." Tsunade smirked, "We won't be getting home for a while, we do have plenty of time."

**Chapter up, word down. With my re-aggravated injury I have plenty of time to write fast. Just as it got decent outside too… Ain't that some shit?**

**Please direct all comments and concerns to the reviews… I have to go take painkillers now so I'll be no more good for a few hours.**

**Kenchi out.**


	28. Much Too Much

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. The glove did not fit so they had to acquit. Ok seriously the case was thrown out when the judge was late to the preceedings. And now I'm free to continue writing to my heart's content. I went and fought for my freedom like Samuel Jackson in A Time To Kill, I'm a damn hero.

They couldn't pin me to shit.  
They had to acquit.

I didn't take my brother's life.  
I stabbed him with a plastic knife.

They tried to put me in jail.  
I got out on bail.

They wanted to hang me by my neck.  
I slid my lawyer a check.

Attempted murder was the case that they gave me I'm innocent! …It was more like assault.

*I really hope you all realize that was a joke, I'm not that crazy… yet.*

**Chapter 28: Much Too Much**

Naruto and company had ambled back into Konoha just a few days after the battle on the plains with Orochimaru. As they walked through the gates Naruto let out a massive groan, "Finally I can go home! I'm completely drained…"

Naruto perked up before he turned to walk towards his house, "Oh, baachan, when you get a chance could you go to the hospital and check out Sasuke for me, well not for me, but if you could do that it would be awesome."

Tsunade shook off the baachan comment and gave him a smile, "Sure thing gaki, stop by and see me at the tower later ok?"

Naruto hit his chest and nodded, "I'll stop in later. I swear I need a nap in my own bed because I'm wiped out." Naruto sighed, 'My house is miles from here, I really don't feel like walking so far…"

Naruto smirked as he looked up at Tsunade. Naruto blocked her path before setting himself off to the side in the direction of his apartment, "You know baachan, if you feel like you're too old for the job you could always make me the Hokage. Going from jiji to you isn't much of an age leap."

Tsunade ran up to Naruto and hit him with a haymaker that sent him flying. As Naruto flew through the air a faint shout was heard, "Thank you baachaaaan!" The remaining members of the party all looked on in confusion after that action but simply shrugged it off and went on their way to the Hokage Tower.

XxX

Naruto fell from the sky and landed within close sight of his apartment building. Naruto groaned as he stood and dusted himself off. He sighed and smiled to himself, "Man that worked great, she's like a bull I swear, so easy to mess with." Naruto stumbled and began walking back to the house.

Naruto opened the door to his apartment to find Haku and Jushiro macking on the couch again, "Oh for Kami's sake, every damn time I come home I have to see you two about to procreate. It's getting old! That's what your bedroom is for!"

Haku moved away from Jushiro and blushed as she looked at the ground while Jushiro stared back at Naruto, "Kid you've been gone forever, why the hell should I have to plan for you to come back?"

Naruto grumbled as he shuffled to his room, "A little consideration would be nice, I live here too Big Boss."

Jushiro grinned and chased behind Naruto into his room, "Alright, I'll remember that when you end up with a girl runt. Just remember, you were the one that said to keep that shit out of the open, you better follow your own advice."

He watched Naruto flop on his bed face-first and sigh as he had some questions, "Where did you go? You've been gone for over a month and you didn't say shit, I had to shake down the old man Hokage to find out that you had a mission and even then he wouldn't tell me what it was."

Naruto rolled over to see Haku had also entered his room and had seated herself on the edge of the bed. He sat up and began to tell them the entire story of the trip. At the end Jushiro was grinning and stroking his chin , "Ha! Orochi-teme seems to be having a little trouble after my little gift, oh I'm so awesome."

Naruto grinned, "I have to show you my jutsu that ero-sennin taught me sometime."

The scene was interrupted by a knock at the door. Jushiro grabbed Naruto and pushed him to his feet, "You go get it."

Naruto glared at him, "Fuck you Big Boss…"

Naruto walked to the front door and opened it to see Sasuke Uchiha standing in the way with Sakura standing behind, a worried look evident on her face, "Um… Can I help you?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and clinched his fists, "Fight me dobe."

Naruto gave him a dead-pan look before his face turned to Sakura, "Did Tsunade already heal him?" Sakura nodded as Naruto scratched his head, "Damn that was fast…" Naruto turned his attention back to Sasuke, "No."

Naruto shut the door in his face as Sasuke howled from behind the wood door, "Don't ignore me you loser! Come out and fight me!"

Naruto went to his couch to watch TV, "No. Your dumbass just got out of the hospital probably not an hour ago and I don't feel like putting you back in right now, and I can't just go and fight a genin, I'm your superior, that would get me court-martialed."

Jushiro and Haku walked back into the room as Haku took a seat on an adjacent seat to watch TV with Naruto, "Naruto-kun what's with all of the yelling?"

Naruto jerked his thumb towards the door, "The teme wants to fight me right after he got out of the hospital, I said hell no."

Jushiro walked to the kitchen, "Yo I made some rice for lunch. Who wants a bowl?"

Naruto smirked, "You should have let Haku-chan cook Big Boss, your plain meals suck. Not to mention the fact you could probably burn water."

Jushiro grumbled, "Shut up brat."

Suddenly the door was kicked in by Sasuke, "Damn it dobe I won't be overlooked by-. OOF."

Sasuke was cut off by Naruto driving his right fist into Sasuke's stomach. Sasuke crumpled to the floor in Naruto's doorway, "That was really rude teme. I just got back from a mission and the last thing I wanted to happen today was you kicking my door down."

Sakura panicked over Sasuke's fallen form, "Sasuke-kun! Naruto what did you do that for! It didn't need to go that far!"

Naruto gave her a look of disbelief, "He broke into my goddamn house trying to pick a fight with me. How the fuck did you see this ending, with a big-ass tea party?"

Naruto looked over his shoulder at Jushiro, "Yo Big Boss, I'm out of here. I've got to go see baachan at the tower."

Jushiro walked to the doorway with his bowl in hand, "Who the fuck is baachan? And why are you going to the tower to see her?"

Naruto was gone before an answer was given. Jushiro sighed as he picked up Sasuke by the back of his collar and looked at Sakura, "Yeah… I don't know what to do with him. Can I throw him off the balcony or something? Because I really don't want to deal with his bullshit when he wakes up."

Sakura looked at Jushiro in shock, "No! Don't throw him anywhere!"

A voice came from the side, "I'll take him." The two turned to face Kakashi who had just appeared. Kakashi raised his eyebrow, "What exactly went on here?"

Jushiro tossed Sasuke at Kakashi, "The prima-donna over here came to fight the runt and after the runt shot him down he kicked the front-door in before he got folded up like a cheap-ass lawn chair."

Kakashi adjusted Sasuke on his shoulder, "Really? Sakura did that happen?"

Sakura looked at Sasuke's unconscious form and nodded, "After Sasuke-kun broke Naruto's door Naruto ran up and hit him in the body once."

Kakashi raised his eyebrow, 'One punch? One hit to the body was all Naruto needed to knock him out?' Kakashi sighed, "I didn't think he'd get so riled up about Naruto. I need to handle this before it gets out of hand."

Kakashi turned to the kids, "I'll deal with Sasuke, don't worry about it Sakura. Everything is going to be okay." Sakura nodded as Kakashi used a shunshin to leave the premises.

Sakura looked out over the buildings as her thoughts were flooded and her eyes started to water, 'Sasuke-kun… What is happening to our team? Aren't we supposed to be close?'

Sakura was broken from her thoughts with a groan from Jushiro as he looked over the door, "Damn Uchiha kid… *sigh* I swear… My punk-ass brother is home for two hours and he fucks up the house already. Man am I glad I decided to stock up on stuff to fix this."

He looked over to see Sakura, "Hey are you okay?" She nodded but her eyes betrayed her affirmation. Jushiro scratched his scalp, "Look, you can come in if you'd like and talk about it with me and Haku-chan, it might make you feel better."

Sakura looked at the white-haired chunin oddly, "But why would you do that for me?"

Jushiro crossed his arms, "You're my brother's teammate and you don't seem like a bad person. After what just happened you look like you might need some comfort so why not?" Sakura smiled at Jushiro and walked into the apartment, "Thank you."

Jushiro just left the door open as he went to get tools to fix the front door as Sakura sat with Haku.

XxX

Naruto sauntered into the Hokage Tower and up to the doors that lead to the office. He opened the door to find Hiruzen, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Shizune in the office. Naruto shut the door behind him as the adults turned their attention to him. Hiruzen spoke to the young blonde first, "Ah Naruto-kun I was wondering when you'd stop by."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, Tsunade-baachan told me to stop by after we got back, so what's up you guys?"

Tsunade shook her fist at being called a grandma again but stemmed her anger to speak to Naruto, "I just wanted to know about the procedure to attach your auto-mail to your body. It seems more like a medical procedure than a mechanical thing."

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, it's kind of both. Winry-chan and Pinako-baachan had to attach the wiring of the auto-mail to my nerves to make it work. It hurt like hell, it totally sucks."

Shizune commented, "That's amazing. Such a way to make handicaps basically non-existant."

Naruto grinned, "I'm glad you think it's cool because I have something to ask you guys."

Hiruzen looked over Naruto with a curious look, "You're asking for something Naruto-kun? What do you need from us?"

Naruto walked closer to the desk, "I kind of need some time off."

All of the adults gave him confused looks before Hiruzen spoke up, "Naruto you've just gotten promoted and we're still recovering from the invasion, we need all of the higher level shinobi we can get."

Naruto recoiled, "Well yeah, but I kind of need to go for a little trip outside of the village, actually it's to the edge of the country. Somewhere near the Fire Capital. I need to go see the tailors of my auto-mail to get it adjusted, I'm getting too big for my arm."

Jiraiya nodded, "Yeah he's got a point Sarutobi-sensei. Yes he's actually damn good, but if he has to account for a mal-fitting arm it could be a huge handicap."

Naruto nodded, "You see? I need to go as soon as I can before it screws me up."

Hiruzen nodded, "Alright Naruto, I understand. You can take your trip to Resembool, but I can't let you go alone, I need to send people with you."

Naruto grinned, "I know jiji, I wasn't really planning on going alone though, I'd like two people to come with me."

Tsunade cut in, "Me and Jiraiya can't come gaki, neither can Shizune or any of your genin friends and all of our jounin are out on missions. Who are you possibly going to use?" Naruto smirked, "Let me take Big Boss and Haku-chan, they'll be more than enough."

Hiruzen nodded, "Yes sure Naruto-kun, I'll have the papers written up by tonight. Come back tomorrow and we can talk more about it."

Naruto seemed satisfied with that response as he backpedaled to the door with a grin on his face, "Thanks a lot you guys, I'll see you all later." Naruto ran down the stairs of the tower before reaching the base of the tower and breaking out in a sprint, 'Alright now there's one thing really left to do, there's a certain someone I need to see.'

XxX

Sasuke was standing at the entrance of the Uchiha Compound. As he looked inside he could hear the sounds of lively chatter, of people living their lives. He could also still see the bloodstains and bodies he came home to see on the day of the massacre. He gritted his teeth as he remembered Itachi's cold eyes and his words on the day his life was ruined.

Sasuke had trained himself to reach Itachi's level as something of an obsession for years, but the attack on Konoha showed him he was still nowhere near Itachi's level. Now that he had time to think Sasuke really hadn't defeated anyone noteworthy at all since the mission to Nami no Kuni. After Zabuza showed up Naruto began to step up and fight the high level enemies, even during that fight Naruto freed Kakashi and added to Zabuza's defeat while he himself was incapacitated.

Naruto repeatedly defeated the powerful opponents that Sasuke could not, and when Itachi showed himself in Konoha he completely ignored Sasuke to attack Naruto. Sasuke tightened his fists until his palms bled, 'What is it? He seems to be getting far stronger than I am far faster than me. I can't figure it out, I have the Sharingan, I should outclass him, but he's never lost, while I always lose against tough competition.'

Sasuke sensed a familiar signature and turned to see Naruto flying across the rooftops amid the setting sun. Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he grabbed his neck, 'I must find out how far I've come. If Itachi is interested in Naruto I need to prove I'm worth his notice more.'

XxX

Naruto ran to the training ground of Team 8 as he saw the flash of the setting sun, 'Damn I hope I'm not too late to catch them, if she gets home then my chance is shot.'

Naruto landed in the clearing of Team 8 startling all that noticed. Kiba took notice of Naruto's appearance first, "Naruto what are you doing here? Where have you been?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, "I was out on a long mission, remember, I left the day you guys saw me at my apartment."

Shino came up to Naruto and Kiba with Hinata in tow, "What are you doing here though Naruto-san, it is very late in the day. We were about to head home for the evening."

Naruto nodded, "I knew that much, that's why I came out here now. I wanted to see Hinata-chan before she got home or I could kiss that opportunity goodbye."

Hinata 'eep-ed' at hearing that Naruto wanted to talk to her while Kiba stepped closer, "Why do you want to see Hinata?"

Naruto shrugged, "Because between the chunin exam, the invasion, me leaving for my mission, and all the bullshit that's about to start up I haven't had any time to see her. And I know that you both know how much shit is up in the air between us right now."

Kiba and Shino looked at each other and nodded before moving aside to let Naruto talk to Hinata. Naruto grinned as he ran up to the dark-haired girl, "Hey Hinata-chan, I just wanted to-." Naruto turned around to see Kiba and Shino looking at them both, "Um… Could we, you know, get a moment here? This is kind of private."

Kiba narrowed his eyes as Shino tilted his glasses before speaking, "Hinata-san is our teammate Naruto-."

Kiba picked up after, "Anything you can say to her you can say with us around."

Hinata shot a subtle glare at her teammates who recoiled and turned to leave. When Naruto turned to face Hinata he saw her smiling and blushing at him. Naruto put on a sly grin before sliding up to her, "Well it seems like someone is getting a little bolder I see."

Hinata giggled into her hand, "Well if I want to keep up with you Naruto-kun then I guess I have to be right?" Naruto put an arm around her, "You know you're right. But I haven't even taken you out on a date yet, and you've been patient as hell with me."

Naruto positioned himself in front of her and looked into her eyes, "No massive crazy blushing huh? I guess it was a good idea for me to go ahead and just kiss you first, it sure seems to have helped yeah?" Naruto scratched his nose, "The thing is I can't take you out right now." He took her over to a boulder and sat her sown, "I have to go get my auto-mail adjusted and I'm probably leaving tomorrow."

Hinata reached out and grabbed his metal arm and looked at it, "Naruto-kun… Why would anyone do this to you? Why would anyone do this to any six year old child?"

Naruto shook his head, "I can't tell you that right now. But don't be so down about it, I got over it years ago. I survived it and I'm so much stronger now because of it."

Naruto looked out to see that the sun had gone down completely as darkness crossed the field, "Hey do you want me to take you home Hinata-chan? You might get in a little bit of trouble if you're stuck out with me too late."

Hinata shook her head as she leaned against Naruto, "No. Not yet, I want to stay out here a little longer, especially since you're leaving again soon."

Naruto chuckled, "Whatever you want Hinata-chan."

Naruto and Hinata sat in the silence of each other's company for long enough to lose track of time. They were interrupted by a presence behind them. Naruto recognized the signature and sighed as he parted with Hinata to stand up, "Sit tight for a minute Hinata-chan, this will only take a moment." Naruto turned around to face Sasuke.

Sasuke walked up to Naruto , "You aren't getting out of this dobe. You are going to fight me."

Naruto grabbed the bridge of his nose and spoke in a hissed whisper, "You're really lucky I'm not Big Boss or you'd be dead by now for cock-blocking. Get the fuck out of here! We can settle up later, I'm busy."

Sasuke looked behind Naruto to see Hinata sitting on a boulder, "So you're out with the weak Hyuuga girl I see. It figures, a weakling ends up with a weak woman."

Naruto smirked, "Well if that's true then where's your girl? Or are you so weak you can't even get a real one?" As Sasuke fumed Naruto's smirk dropped, "Don't ever talk about Hinata-chan like that again or I'll beat the hell out of you… Believe it."

Sasuke put on a smug grin, "You really do have a soft spot for the Hyuuga whore don't you dobe? Well she isn't bad… I guess I'll take her after I break you. Don't worry, I'll show her a real man."

Naruto kicked Sasuke in the chest and sent Sasuke flying back before he looked back to Hinata, "Sorry hime… I can't really let that one slide. Go and get on out of here, I'll be fine. I'll come see you before I leave, I promise."

Hinata nodded hesitantly and slowly walked out of the clearing, "Be careful Naruto-kun…"

Naruto shot her a big grin over his shoulder, "Come on… I never lose, cut me some slack here. Now go on home." As she left his sight he turned back to Sasuke, "This is really stupid you know, I could just turn you in and get you busted by Kakashi, but I doubt he or the council would even do anything to you so I guess it's up to me."

Sasuke dropped into his taijutsu stance, "It's time I put you into your place dead-last. I'll show you what you really are compared to me."

Naruto sighed as he stood up straight, "That's funny, I was about to say the same thing to you." Naruto looked around, "Let's make this quick, I'm really sure we've already been caught by somebody and they're just waiting for the explosions to go off before they bring Anbu down on our asses so let's get this over with. I'm not going to jail tonight."

Sasuke sneered, "Take your stupid cloak off dobe! Fight me seriously!"

Naruto grinned, "I only take it off for a serious fight. This isn't life or death, it's a glorified spar."

Sasuke grunted and ran in to attack, "I'll show you how serious this is!"

Just as he jumped to deliver a flying kick to Naruto he found his vision obscured by Naruto throwing his cloak in his face. As Sasuke was stuck in the darkness he was pummeled by a quick series of strikes from Naruto's hands and elbows all over his head, from the front and the back. Naruto kicked him down by his back to send him face-first into the dirt.

Sasuke shook off the cobwebs and pulled the cloak off of his head to look at Naruto who just shrugged, "What? You said wanted the cloak off. I was just respecting your wishes."

Sasuke growled as he stomped back to his feet, "Damn it you're cheating! Fight me the right way!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "We're ninja Sasuke… We aren't really supposed to fight fair. And you want me to fight seriously, this is how I fight, opportunistically. I pick my spots, just ask Gaara." Naruto set into his muay thai stance, "Now come on, show me what you've got."

XxX

As Hinata moved through the forest she was stopped by a shout intended to catch her attention. As she looked through the area she saw Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari coming her way. Despite her fears of Gaara she still held her ground, "Ano… What are you all doing out here?"

Kankuro answered her, "Gaara sensed something interesting so we came out this way to see what was happening.

Hinata looked down, "Naruto-kun is fighting Sasuke-san farther back."

Temari noticed her worried look before looking at Gaara and Kankuro, "Let's go you guys, we need to go stop this before Naruto kills the Uchiha kid."

Gaara and Kankuro nodded before jumping off to find Naruto. Temari stayed behind for a moment to give Hinata a reassuring smile, "Don't worry. We'll make sure the knucklehead stays out of trouble." Temari jumped off into the woods to catch up with her brothers, leaving Hinata in place.

XxX

Naruto again was dodging Sasuke's rapid punch and kick combination. Sasuke leapt for an axe kick that Naruto blocked by bracing his right arm. Sasuke jumped back and grunted in frustration, "It's all that stupid arm! Everything you've ever accomplished is because your arm is better than everyone else's!"

Naruto gave him an exasperated look, "Well if you really want an arm like this I'd be glad to cut yours off. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life."

Naruto put out his arm for Sasuke to look at, "My chakra control was shot to hell, even more so than it already was for years. I'm just now getting it to a decent level. I wake myself up in the middle of the night because the damn thing and its cold ass metal touches me when I shift around. When it gets overheated in the summer it burns, when it gets freezing cold it sticks to my skin. It's a pain in the ass, but it's my pain in the ass. That's like saying the only thing that makes you a decent ninja is your Sharingan." Naruto smirked, "Of course when it comes to you though I think it might be true."

Sasuke glared out at the jinchuuriki, "What are you talking about now you dobe?"

Naruto grinned at Sasuke, "What have you really done in the year that you've been a ninja? For the so-called 'rookie of the year' you sure haven't done a damn thing worth noting." Sasuke gritted his teeth as Naruto closed his eyes and carried through, "I mean you haven't beaten anybody, and all that keeps you from being just another face in the crowd is your kekkei genkai. You're soft, that's all I can say, you're not on my level anymore, Either in rank, or literally."

Sasuke flew through a few hand-signs as he gathered lightning chakra in his hand, "I've had enough of you! Get out of my face! Chidori!" Naruto simply stood still as Sasuke charged him with his killing technique.

As Sasuke narrowed the distance between himself and Naruto he found himself being held in place by a sand cocoon around his body. Naruto turned and smiled at the new arrivals, "Gaara, what's up? Thanks for that."

Gaara walked up to Naruto with his siblings following behind, "Uzumaki, are you alright?"

Naruto scoffed, "Do I look like he hit me? But seriously I'm glad I didn't have to end this myself."

Gaara held his hand out to the side, "Should I kill him?"

Naruto rapidly shook his hands, "No Gaara! If you kill him we are all screwed do you hear me? Do not kill Sasuke Uchiha!"

Sasuke started shooting his mouth off, "You dobe! You have to get help to fight me! Drop me now so I can kick your ass! Let me go!"

Naruto and the sand siblings just stared, "Yeah, um… Don't drop him either, I'll just get some assistance."

Naruto created two Kage Bunshin and told them to climb to the top of a tree. After they made it to the top he triggered Bunshin Daibakuha to set off a massive explosion. Upon the arrival of the Anbu he launched into his explanation of the fight and allowed them to take Sasuke to the Hokage.

After the sand siblings said their goodbyes and took off back to their hotel Naruto slowly walked in the woods to return home. He stopped as he felt another familiar presence that put him on his guard, "Danzo-san… Didn't expect to see you out here."

Danzo came into Naruto's view, "Good evening Uzumaki-san." Naruto walked up to a tree and leaned against it, "So I take it you saw Sasuke try to fight me. Do you want me to try and recruit him for your group?"

Danzo visibly cringed, "No Uzumaki-san. Like I said my group works for the good of Konohagakure. Sasuke Uchiha has much potential, but his obsession with power overshadows his love for the village. I have a bad feeling about him."

Naruto sniffed, "So what do you need from me Danzo-san? I know you remember what me and Big Boss told you not too long ago, are you reconsidering?"

Danzo walked closer to the boy, "I guess that it is fair enough to want to know about my group. After all, getting grevious wounds in your own village probably tends to make you pretty untrusting."

Naruto nodded and sat down on the forest floor as Danzo followed suit, "Okay Danzo-san… I'm all ears. What do you have for me?"

Danzo smiled , "Let me tell you about my organization. It goes by the name of 'Ne.'"

**Your hero of fictional literature has returned to bestow upon you chapter 28 of everyone's favorite up and coming fanfiction, Fullmetal Shinobi. Working on two stories at the same time is way easier than I thought it would be. I'm keeping up with updating chapters, rehabbing my damn knee, knocking myself out with painkillers (which are awesome), and writing a big ass essay for my class along with traveling across the state of Virginia to train.**

**I can do all of this because I'm Kenchi, and I'm AWESOME!**

**Kenchi out.**


	29. No Rest For The Wicked

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I would like to, but then again I would also like to fly, and that shit sure isn't going to happen anytime soon is it?

**Chapter 29: No Rest For The Wicked**

Naruto was walking towards the Hokage Tower with Jushiro and Haku in tow to get the exact details of their trip outside of Konoha. Naruto was leading the way because of course Jushiro and Haku had to stop every few blocks to make out until Naruto turned to break it up, 'Kami what am I, the only adult around here? Why are all of the strong ninja crazy or something?'

Eventually the three made it inside of the tower and entered Tsunade's office via kicking the door in. Naruto entered with a beaming smile, "I love doing that!" Tsunade looked from Naruto to Hiruzen who was sitting off to the side.

Hiruzen took a puff from his pipe, "It's true, he apparently does enjoy doing that."

Naruto and company stood in front of Tsunade's desk, "What's up? You getting all settled in baachan?"

Tsunade threw a paperweight that drilled Naruto in the head. Tsunade stood with a tick on her head, "I told you to stop calling me that brat! But go ahead and keep it up, because I love doing _that_!"

Naruto stood up rubbing his head, "I can tell… So you got the trip all set for us?"

Tsunade sat back down and pulled out a few haphazard sheets and looked them over before looking back up at the trio with a smile, "Naruto Uzumaki you will take a team consisting of Jushiro Moyomoto and Haku Momochi to the town of Resembool for maintenance on your auto-mail arm."

Tsunade reached into her desk and pulled out a scroll that she threw to Jushiro. Jushiro stepped back to read, "We have a month… Tsunade-sama this won't take three weeks, we'll be back way before this."

Tsunade crossed her fingers and laid her chin on them, "You all will consider this a B-ranked mission due to time, distance, and necessity. Good luck, you may leave on your own mark."

Jushiro nodded, "Okay you guys, we leave this afternoon. Handle all of your business in town between now and then and head home by four in the evening ready to go. I'm out of here." Jushiro shot a two-fingered salute before he and Haku walked out of the office.

Naruto narrowed his eyes and snapped at his brother's retreating figure, "Who the fuck made you the boss? Answer me damn it… Fucking asshole."

Naruto turned to leave before his head snapped back around, "Oi, what happened to the teme last night after the you know?"

Hiruzen answered, "He'll be spending a few days in isolation for attacking his superior with a lethal technique. Kakashi has already been informed."

Naruto smirked, "I sense many D-ranked missions in his future with reduced pay." Naruto then sighed, "But that might just make it worse."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean Naruto?"

Naruto looked around the room, "All of that will just piss him off more, and that's even if you actually get to punish him. Baachan, me and jiji both know how the civilian council has a hard-on for the Uchiha clan. They'll probably just bitch you out until you take him off of probation, especially when you tell them that it was me he was fighting."

Tsunade looked confused, "I don't understand. I thought you were a hero after the fight with Gaara in the city during the invasion."

Naruto shook his head, "A few other ninja think I'm awesome, and a few girls think I'm awesome. Most older ninja and civilians still use me as their scapegoat, luckily I haven't had to administer an ass-beating to any of them for quite a few years now."

Tsunade tried to speak but Naruto wasn't done, "You should know this now because you need to know this, if you are going to support me like a normal ninja you are probably going to end up butting heads with quite a few of the council members seeing as how one of their favorite pastimes for the last several years has been 'screw Naruto Uzumaki over.' For a lot of what they say, just let it slide, I'm used to it. But if it affects more than just me, or it is such a major screwjob that you can't possibly let it go then you can stop it."

Tsunade nodded hesitantly after looking at Hiruzen nod solemnly. Tsunade then looked over at the massive stacks of papers she had yet to do anything about, "You know if the Hokage was the strongest ninja in the village you'd think they would let them stay sharp by not piling on so much damn paperwork." Hiruzen grunted in agreement.

Naruto nodded sagely, "You know ever since I graduated and had to keep seeing jiji glower about this crap I've had an idea." The eyes of the two kage snapped to the young boy suddenly, making Naruto start to sweat as they stared intently.

Hiruzen's eyes narrowed, "So you're saying you had a way to deal with paperwork and you didn't tell me?"

Naruto waved his hands defensively, "No, no, no! I just thought that it was so obvious that there was a code or a law saying you couldn't do it or something, I thought you knew it so every time I heard you groan about paperwork I rolled my eyes."

Hiruzen stood and ran over to Naruto grabbing him and shaking him, "Damn it Naruto I could have used this information ten years ago you know!"

Naruto spoke through the shaking, "I can tell you now, it still might be illegal, I don't know." Hiruzen stopped shaking him so Naruto could whisper into his ear, the old man's eyes widening upon hearing the revelation.

Upon pulling away from Naruto, Hiruzen growled and ran towards Tsunade's desk and surprised her by smashing his head into the desk repeatedly, "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Naruto laughed as he began to walk out of the room, "Alright I'll see you guys in a week or two, jiji don't tell her yet! I want to see how she'll look in a few weeks after knowing there's a way to do her work and not knowing what it is." Naruto shut the doors as his laughter could be heard all the way down the hall.

Tsunade recovered from seeing her old sensei bounce his head repeatedly off of her desk and saw him sitting on the floor like a three year-old almost in tears, "So many wasted years… Such a simple answer yet I never thought about it… I love that boy… I hate that boy. Damn it he had the answer for a least a few months before I retired."

Tsunade looked down, "Sarutobi-sensei, what did Naruto say? What's this big thing he told you about being Hokage." Hiruzen perked up and a massive grin appeared on his face, "Actually Tsunade, Naruto told me not to tell you, so sorry. You'll just have to get it from him yourself… in a few weeks." Hiruzen laughed to himself as he left the office, 'I'm coming back here every day until she breaks… This will be hilarious.'

XxX

Naruto walked through the streets of the village through the affluent part of town where all of the clan homes lied. Naruto came to the main entrance of the Hyuuga Compound and stopped in front of two of the branch guards, "Um hi there. Is there any way I could come in and see Hinata-chan."

The two guards looked at each other strangely before one spoke up, "We cannot let you in, however we can go and tell Hinata-sama that you are out here. Your name please?"

Naruto smiled at the guards, "Naruto Uzumaki." The two guards went wide-eyed before the first one went to relay the message.

The remaining guard looked at Naruto curiously before speaking, "You're the Fullmetal Alchemist? The boy that beat Neji-san and won the chunin exam tournament?"

Naruto nodded, "Yes, I guess that stupid name caught on after all huh? You're the third person I've met that called me by that title."

The guard looked him over, "What's so 'fullmetal' about you?"

Naruto lifted his cloak on his right side to show his arm. The Hyuuga guard's mouth formed an 'O' and he nodded. Naruto smirked, "Exactly."

The two stood for a second until the other guard came back, "Uzumaki-san, Hiashi-sama wishes to meet you."

Naruto lifted his eyebrow, "Alright then, lead the way."

As the two made their way through the compound he saw exactly how big the entire place was, 'One family lives here? Kami, I needs to get me a clan!' Naruto also had thoughts on the upcoming meeting with Hiashi, 'Okay… One of the council people that have been messing with me for years… great. I really don't see this ending well at all.'

The guard stopped in front of a paper door, "Hiashi-sama, Naruto Uzumaki has been brought as you have requested."

After a moment a voice was heard, "He may enter."

Naruto slid the door back to see Hiashi giving him a studious look as he entered. Naruto turned to see Neji sitting to his right. Naruto gave Neji a questioning look and Neji just shrugged in a confused manner.

Naruto walked up to Hiashi and remained standing in silence as he waited for the older man to speak. After a moment Hiashi motioned Naruto to sit, "Please have a seat Uzumaki."

Naruto simply lowered himself into his meditative style of sitting and kept his gaze on Hiashi who was making serious eye-contact with him. Naruto had to hold back a chuckle as he realized what Hiashi was doing, 'Is he trying to psyche me out? He really doesn't know who I am does he?'

After a minute or two of no sound or any change in either's position Hiashi finally spoke, "I have been hearing much about you these days Uzumaki."

Naruto lifted his eyebrow, "What have you heard then sir?"

Hiashi stared the boy down, "Aside from what everyone knows, basically next to nothing. You have done a very good job of keeping a low profile for all these years. Your 'tenant' puts you in the spotlight more than most and you still keep yourself out of spheres of influence."

Naruto scratched his face nervously, "Uh thanks I guess… But I know you called me here for a real reason and I'm actually pressed for time as I have to leave the village soon, could you get to the part where you do whatever it is you're going to do."

Hiashi raised his own eyebrow in confusion, "Pardon me?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, you see important people have been trying to talk to me all the time lately. By my past experiences you are either going to somehow ask me to side with you for something, threaten me, or something that I didn't think of yet."

Hiashi shook his head, "Nothing of the sort Uzumaki. You are getting closer to my daughter therefore I thought it feasible to get to speak to you soon."

Naruto sighed, "I guess so. Are you sure you're not going to threaten me, even a little?"

Hiashi kept his face impassive, "No Uzumaki, there is plenty of time for that later."

Naruto turned to hear Neji stifle a chuckle before turning his face back to unreadable, 'Did I just hear a Hyuuga try to make a joke?' Naruto smiled slightly before standing up and bowing, "Well if you have asked me all you need to know then I guess I'll go look for your daughter now." Naruto noted Hiashi's eyebrow twitch slightly, 'Okay I was pushing it with that last one, damn I'm stupid.' Naruto smiled nervously and opened the sliding door to leave.

Naruto stepped outside and shut the door as he turned to leave before almost bumping into Hinata, "Well now the person I came here to find! Hi there Hinata-chan."

Hinata smiled at the blonde boy, "Hello Naruto-kun." Her face turned slightly worried, "Sasuke-san didn't hurt you last night did he?"

Naruto waved off her concern, "The teme didn't scratch me last night, Gaara showed up and helped me subdue him before we really got serious. I'm fine I promise." Naruto and Hinata walked along the compound.

Hinata sighed, "So I guess you're leaving soon right?"

Naruto nodded, "This evening I'm heading out, I'm taking Big Boss because he was always there when I got my auto-mail adjusted I'm taking Haku-chan because Big Boss would just bitch for two weeks if I didn't ask for her to tag along."

Naruto jumped in front of her dramatically, "Rest assured though Hinata-chan, when I come back I am going to take you on the most awesome date ever! I am going to blow your pretty little mind with scenes of greatness and originality!"

Naruto looked around to find that he had been seen by many different Hyuuga clan members that had stopped to stare at the strange boy including Neji Hyuuga who was not standing very far from the pair with a small smile on his face, which in his case might as well have been a massive grin, 'This is the weirdest day ever. I'm so glad I decided to follow him out because this is damn entertaining.'

Naruto noticed the looks he was getting from the people surrounding him , "The fuck ya'll looking at?" The people went back to their own business as Neji shook his head and continued to follow the two. Naruto looked behind him to see the Hyuuga genius following behind, "Neji what is going on? Why are you following us? Some privacy would be fantastic."

Neji crossed his arms, "I am Hinata-sama's main protector, it is my job."

Hinata smiled, "Neji-niisan, Naruto-kun isn't going to hurt me."

Neji smirked as he thought to himself, 'Him _hurting_ you isn't really what I, or should I say your father is worried about.' Naruto noticed the smirk and smirked back. Neji interpreted Naruto's own look as, 'If I really wanted to there isn't a damn thing you could really do to stop me and you know it.'

Neji sweat-dropped slightly and continued walking with the pair as they exited the main gates. Naruto looked at Hinata and smiled, "Okay Hinata-chan I'll see you soon, I promise I'll be back before you know it!" Naruto looked at Neji, "And you. I hope you dropped the fate shit from before, I'll be seeing you too."

Naruto turned to leave before snapping back around, "Pop quiz!" Naruto swept Hinata into a massive kiss before leaving her to stumble on her own feet as he leapt off, cackling all the way.

The guards looked on in disbelief as the blonde boy jumped off. One guard spoke up, "Pop quiz? What is he talking about?"

THUMP

Neji sighed and shook his head, "I guess she failed…" Neji stooped down to pick Hinata up and carry her back into the compound.

After the two Hyuuga genin walked a distance inside the second guard put on a grin, "I like that kid."

The second guard chuckled, "Well it sure won't be very dull around when he comes back."

XxX

Naruto walked up the stairs to his apartment only to run into Kakashi as he was descending said stairs, "Oh Naruto, I was hoping to run into you before you left again."

Naruto chuckled, "I'm hoping not literally Kakashi?"

Kakashi shook his head and chuckled, "No I just wanted to talk to you about last night."

Naruto groaned, "Kakashi I didn't start the fight. Sasuke came looking for me trying to pick a fight and I didn't even really do anything to him when we did fight."

Kakashi stopped Naruto, "I know, I just wanted to say you did the right thing last night, really."

Naruto looked up in confusion, "Wait what? I thought I couldn't fight someone lower in rank than me."

Kakashi nodded, "You can't, but you can defend yourself. That's what you did, when you struck you struck to keep out of harm's way, you fought purely defensive."

Kakashi patted Naruto on the shoulder, "Don't be too concerned, Sasuke will be properly reprimanded." Kakashi began to continue down the stairs before turning back to Naruto with an eye-smile, "Oh and congratulations on your promotion to chunin, I'm very proud of you Naruto."

Naruto grinned at Kakashi, "Thanks Kakashi-sensei, that means a lot to me." Kakashi waved it off as he walked away. Naruto smiled as he continued to his apartment to gather his things.

Naruto was about to open the front door before he stopped and a tick mark appeared on his head, "Big Boss if I open this door and find you all on Haku-chan again I'm going to flip the fuck out."

Naruto opened the door only to find Haku laying on top of Jushiro looking at Naruto with a smile on her face, "You didn't say anything about me on him did you Naruto-kun?" Jushiro's eyebrows wagged as he looked at Naruto.

Naruto crossed and uncrossed his arms in a sweeping motion as he looked on with a blank face, "I quit… I give up. You two are going to keep fucking around and get pregnant and then-."

Naruto heard stomping from next door until he was finally hefted and turned around to face Zabuza with bloodshot eyes, "Who. Is. Pregnant…?"

Naruto shot a quick look to a gaping Haku and a pale Jushiro before turning back to Zabuza, 'Okay, am I that mean? I will have to travel with them for an extended period of time after this so is it really worth it to see ten minutes of Zabuza kicking Big Boss's ass? Could I really do this to them?'

Naruto shrugged, "Nobody Zabuza, just a few words out of context that's all."

Zabuza looked at Naruto, then at Jushiro and Haku, and then back to Naruto, "Fine gaki…" Zabuza put Naruto down and looked at everyone ready to leave, "Where are you all going?"

Haku smiled and spoke, "We're going with Naruto-kun to get his auto-mail adjusted at the edge of the country."

Zabuza shrugged and left the apartment, "Yeah whatever I'll see you guys when you get back then." He stopped at the door, "White-haired brat, you and me are going to have words when you get back." Zabuza slammed the door to the apartment.

Jushiro released the breath he had been holding and glared at Naruto, "I should kick your ass."

Naruto glared right back, "You should be _kissing_ my ass because I just saved yours. Seriously, get it together you guys… I am really going to hate waking you two up in the morning." Naruto shuffled to his bedroom to grab his pack.

Jushiro jumped up and growled, "He said he was going to 'have words with me' when we get back!"

Naruto yelled from the back, "You really think he's going to remember that crap in three weeks?"

Jushiro straightened up, "Oh okay, I guess that will work."

Naruto came from the back and patted Jushiro on the cheek before sighing and walking past, "I really need to move out of here…"

Jushiro pulled Haku to her feet and picked up his own pack, "Right… So you guys ready to go?" Haku nodded happily and Naruto walked to the door, "Let's go, now that I know my arm is jacked it feels weird."

Naruto descended the steps as he pulled a slip of paper from his pocket.

**We'll talk when you get back.**

Naruto sighed, "Sometimes I think things would be easier if people thought I was a loser… Well more people."

XxX

In Iwagakure the Tsuchikage had called a single ninja to his office for a short meeting. A cloaked figure strode into his office and stopped in front of his desk, "Ah right on time. I like that, just the professional you were made out to be."

A feminine voice spoke up from the cloaked figure, "Do I have a new mission Tsuchikage-sama?"

The small man smirked, "Yes I have something for you to do." He stood and faced the wall behind him, "Konoha has someone of great interest to me. The boy is rising quickly and apparently has enough skill to engage opponents far beyond himself and come out victorious. He's getting a little famous, you may have heard of him as he is relatively new."

The man dropped a manila folder on the desk and motioned for the female to read it. She picked it up and flipped to the first page, "The Fullmetal Alchemist? Really?"

The Tsuchikage nodded, "Yes, keep on reading for a while longer."

The girl kept reading until her eyes widened and dropped the folder while holding one picture in her fist, "This son of a bitch looks just like the-."

The Tsuchikage raised his hand, "I know. The boy has a natural aptitude for combat, that coupled with a destructive new style of combat makes him worth getting for ourselves. The fact that he looks just like the scourge of Iwa… that's just another reason for us to dispense of him. Any shot we can take at Konoha we should, without hesitation."

The hooded girl nodded, "How am I to find him sir?"

The old man smiled again, "That's the easy part. We already know where he's going to be. Konoha isn't as secure as they would have you think these days. Our mole has said he will be somewhere around the capital soon. Wait him out, track him, and capture him if at all possible. Plug the boy for information and bring him back to Iwa… Or kill him, whichever is applicable for you."

The girl smirked, "Of course Tsuchikage-sama, no need to worry about anything." She pulled her hood down to reveal a tanned face with brown hair pulled back into a ponytail leaving bangs to feature her face, "You have Iwa's number one rookie jonin on the issue, it'll be handled in no time."

XxX

Naruto, Haku, and Jushiro were sitting by the fire at their campsite for the night. Jushiro had Haku leaning against him while on the other side Naruto simply sat looking at his arm. Suddenly a random shock went up his spine. Jushiro and Haku quirked an eyebrow at the blonde boy, "What was that little buddy?"

Naruto shook his head, "I don't know… I just got the feeling that I'm going to be getting my ass kicked soon."

**Chapter 29 out and about. Expect a slight slowdown in output soon. My semester is coming down to the wire and so is my shot at passing two courses with barely a D. A lot of make up work and fucking cramming are in my future, and if I fail I need to come up with some bullshit to say in my defense later. I will still put out chapters, just not as fast as I used to, until a week or two into May at least so hang tight.**

**Kenchi out… God have mercy on my soul… err grades.**


	30. Tigerface GRR! Lemonface UWW!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did you would probably see more common U.S. slang in the writings… and minorities other than Kumogakure's few black characters… Because I'm black. (They aren't even really black really except Killer Bee, and I sure as hell don't count Killer Bee as black just because he's dark, has braids, and raps… Damn it I have to… I just died inside a little.)

**Chapter 30: Tigerface GRR; Lemonface UWW!**

Naruto sighed as his company Haku and Jushiro slogged down the trail alongside him in a decidedly more chipper mood. Naruto's eyebrow twitched as Jushiro slid his arm around Haku's shoulder and pulled her to him for the umpteenth-millionth time on this trip thus far. Naruto palmed his face and muttered to himself, "For Kami's sake I should have brought Sakura-chan and the teme, at least I wouldn't have to play camp counselor then dammit."

Jushiro looked over at his miserable brother, completely oblivious to Naruto's mindset at the moment, "Hey you okay over there little man?"

Naruto sighed and began to answer, "Well kind of, I mean you guys have been all over each other since five minutes out of the gate and I'm feeling very out of the loop right now. You know what I'm saying Big Boss? …Big Boss?"

Naruto looked to his side and sweat-dropped as he saw Jushiro speaking into Haku's ear, "You're so pretty Haku-chan, I can't wait to get you to Resembool so I can show those idiots my hot, killer girlfriend. I wonder if we could convince Naruto to not sleep in the guest room with us?"

Naruto almost flipped out as he looked at his right arm, 'I could use the arm-blade and slit his throat, no one has to know, friendly fire. I could bury him somewhere no one would ever find him.' Naruto shook his head as they passed a sign coming up on a split in the road, "Hey Big Boss, you going to Capital City while we're out here?"

Jushiro got serious and took on a contemplative look, "I shouldn't go off alone, it's further than Resembool."

Naruto waved dismissively, "Go ahead, just get back before it's time to head home and we're cool. You can even take Haku-chan with you, I'm sure she'd love to come."

Haku looked at the blonde demon-container, "Are you sure Naruto-kun? This entire mission is to get your arm fixed. If something happens you couldn't fight at full strength."

Naruto opened his mouth before Jushiro cut him off, "No I'm still going with you Naruto. Besides I haven't seen Winry-chan and the old bat in ages, I should go."

Haku looked between the brothers before voicing her thoughts, "Why would Jushiro-kun want to go to your capital?"

Naruto looked hesitant before he spoke, "Big Boss used to live in Capital City when he was a little kid with his family, and then some things happened and now he's with me…"

Jushiro sucked his teeth and turned towards the path heading to Resembool, "Come on you guys, let's go. We need to get the runt's shit together before we have to fight."

Haku and Naruto began to follow the white-haired teen as Haku slid closer to Naruto, "He never told me about his family Naruto-kun. We never talk about our families because neither brings it up. What happened to them? Why does he live in Konoha?"

Naruto shook his head, "There's a whole backstory to it Haku-chan. If you talk to him yourself he'll probably tell you himself, it's not my place. But we like you Haku-chan, he's really into you, and he trusts you. He'll share it with you, I'm sure."

Haku smiled at Naruto before moving up to walk with Jushiro. Naruto smiled when their hands linked up, "Aww…" Naruto sighed and grabbed his head, "Great, tragedy… Now I'll never get them off of each other… This is gonna be a long week."

XxX

(Back in Konohagakure)

Tsunade sighed as she watched Shizune exit the office. She shot a short look to the paperwork on her desk as she rolled her eyes, "Kami Sarutobi-sensei does it ever end?"

Hiruzen was off on the side laying on a couch reading through one of Jiraiya's Icha-Icha books, "I can't say it really does. Don't worry, you'll get used to it eventually. *sigh* It comes with the job…"

"Having trouble on the job are hime?"

The two people in the room turned their attention to the window to see Jiraiya sitting on the windowsill. Tsunade cracked her knuckles to stretch, using this intrusion as something of a break, "Jiraiya, what brings you here?"

Jiraiya jumped into the office and walked up to her desk, "Well it's about everyone's favorite blond, one-armed gaki. I need to take Naruto with me on a little excursion for a while soon."

Hiruzen looked up from his book at the toad summoner, "Jiraiya we need all of the high-level ninja we can get in the village, especially after the invasion."

Jiraiya looked at Hiruzen with a dead-pan expression, "He's one kid Sarutobi-sensei, and besides, we didn't really take _that_ much damage. We won't be gone for that long."

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow at Jiraiya, "Well how long were you planning on taking him for?"

Jiraiya looked away sheepishly as he quietly spoke, "I was thinking… Something along the lines of two or three years."

Hiruzen and Tsunade both shouted, "Two or three years!" Tsunade growled as she slinked in her chair, "What on earth could you possibly need him for that long for?"

Jiraiya sat in a chair, "I'm glad you asked. I was going to try training him some more to get him ready for his future opponents that you just know he's going to have to face."

Tsunade nodded, "I guess so. After all the Akatsuki group that you told me about were good enough to get inside of the village directly after the invasion to engage him and they did beat him pretty badly from what Sarutobi-sensei told me."

Jiraiya nodded, "Not only them, but there's also the matter of his father's enemies too. After it comes out he's going to have a target painted on his back from pretty much everyone in Iwa, hell Kumo might send an assassin or two to get the kid."

Hiruzen set his book down and sat up with a groan, "Speaking of which I've already held off on Minato's deal as it is already. I was supposed to tell him after he got promoted to chunin, I'm kind of glad that he's been kept so busy lately because I'm really not looking forward to that conversation."

Jiraiya stood and began walking to the window, "Yeah that really sucks sensei, good luck with that."

Hiruzen glared at Jiraiya, "You know you'll be there when he finds out right?" Jiraiya froze in step as Sarutobi had a sly grin on his face, "And when I tell him, more specifically your role in the grand scheme of things, he'll probably try to vent on you quite a bit I imagine."

Tsunade smirked as Jiraiya paled, "He's right you know Jiraiya, Naruto will more than likely kick your ass when we tell him you're actually his godfather."

Jiraiya groaned as he slumped in defeat, "Do I really have to be there when he finds out? Because he's going to try to kill me, and then I have to travel with the kid for years after this… It'll be miserable."

XxX

(Resembool, the edge of Hi no Kuni)

As the pattern of small homes and fields came ever closer Naruto was at the end of his wits, 'Damn it with those two getting all up on each other after their family sob stories it is really getting me lonely right now. I need some female company right now.'

Naruto smirked to himself, 'Duh I always have female company in my head… when she's not asleep. Yo, Kyuubi-chan!'

The ever present voice in his head responded, "**Yes Naruto-kun I'm here, and I resent that comment you said.**"

Naruto shook his head mid-stride, 'You can't tell me you don't spend the majority of your time sleeping. I never talk to you unless you start talking first.'

Kyuubi pouted inside his head, "**No fair Naruto-kun, I guess I'll just go back to bed then if you're going to be that way.**"

Naruto sweat-dropped on the outside, 'Oh come on Kyuubi-chan I want to talk to you. Just answer me.'

"…"

'Kyuubi-chan?'

"…"

'Damn it.'

Naruto grumbled as a two-story house at the top of a slope came into view. Naruto smiled as a figure sitting on the front porch smoking a pipe caught his sight, 'Still smoking after all these years.'

Jushiro brought a smirk to his face as he cupped his hands around his mouth to shout, "Pinako, you old bat! How are you doing!"

Pinako looked up as a smile came to her face, "Jushiro and Naruto, it's been quite a while hasn't it boys?" Pinako took note of the dark haired girl walking with them, "And you brought someone else along with you. Who is this pretty young lady you have here?"

The group walked up to Pinako as Haku stepped out to bow to her, "Hello Pinako-san, I am Haku Momochi. It is nice to meet you."

Pinako smiled, "She's beautiful boys. She's probably Naruto's girl right?" Jushiro face-fell as Haku sweat-dropped and Naruto snickered, "Jushiro, the lunkhead probably couldn't get a woman of dear Haku's caliber."

Jushiro stood and got in Pinako's face, "Damn it old woman, two years! Two years since you've seen me and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a blunted insult! Totally uncalled for I have to say!"

Jushiro pointed at Naruto, "Look at this little munchkin. He wouldn't have a single idea of how to handle a girl like Haku… little pissant has enough problems as it is, among them is that he is yet to develop any sense of game." Jushiro snaked his arm around a blushing Haku, "Only a real top flight security ninja like me could possibly get her attention, a brat fresh out of primary school like the 'Fullmetal Dwarf' over here should stick to the playgrounds."

Naruto growled at Jushiro, "Hey… Fuck you. I believe experience and history will prove that when it comes down to I laid my game down quite flat thank you. You pretty much lucked out with Haku-chan, my prank backfired. Regardless, from what I've seen from you, you don't have any game, you're just a friggin horndog."

Jushiro smirked, "Calm down runt, your big brother does indeed possess game."

Naruto got into Jushiro's face, "Game recognizes game Big Boss."

Jushiro squinted in aggravation, "Game recognizes game runt."

Naruto smirked, "Okay, name the coolest, most badass, smoothest thing you ever did to leave Haku-chan speechless that didn't involve you touching all over her in some way, shape, or form… don't worry I'll wait."

Jushiro lost his cool, "You little bastard, why just the other day I-… I…" Jushiro took on a pondering look, "Hold on a minute let me think."

Naruto counted silently on his fingers while Haku slinked into the background in embarrassment. Naruto chuckled, "Exactly, that's what the fuck I thought." Naruto turned to Haku, "Sorry Haku-chan, Big Boss needs to know when to shut the fuck up sometimes."

A random wrench came flying out of nowhere and drilled Naruto in the head, sending him to the ground, "AHH! What the fuck was that?" Upon ending his question a ratchet came from the upstairs window and nailed him in the same spot on his head.

The group looked up to see Winry with a not too pleased look on her face, "I knew letting Jushiro live with Naruto-kun would totally mess with his vocabulary…"

Naruto sat up and glared at the blonde girl in the window, "Winry-chan why? Why did you do that to me? I thought we were close, don't you love me anymore?" Naruto went puppy-eyed as tears started to form.

Winry had tears forming also, "Naruto-kun… I was just chiding you for cursing so much, I didn't mean to hurt you, I-I'm sorry."

Naruto's tears disappeared as a grin appeared on his face, "Meh I know I'm just messing with you, what's up Winry-chan?"

Winry huffed as he went back inside, her entire path through the house was heard by all four outside. Pinako turned to Naruto, "You might want to brace yourself kid, friendly warning."

Winry slammed the front door open to march over to a terrified Naruto. She stood over him for a moment soaking in hhis fear before picking him up and slamming him to her chest in a massive hug, "Oh Naruto-kun I missed you little guy! You got so big over two years how are you!"

Jushiro sweat-dropped, "Well I wasn't really expecting it to go down like that, I was expecting grievous wounds or something." All three looked at Winry smashing Naruto's spine and ribs in a hug, "Actually, she'll still probably maim him if this keeps up."

Naruto squeaked out a few coherent words, "Winry-chan… love you too… Air… please…" Winry didn't hear him as she was still raving over the teenage boy. Naruto made quick hand signs with one hand and exploded in a pile of smoke leaving a log in her arms.

Jushiro's eyebrow twitched, "Where the hell did he get the log from? There isn't a damn tree anywhere around here for miles."

Naruto walked from the side of the house cracking his back, "There's firewood in the backyard Big Boss. And why did you even bother asking that? You know that you should always remember the most important thing about Kawarimi: There is always a log… always. *crack* … That didn't sound healthy."

Winry dropped the segmented lumber and took in the appearance of the two boys, most notably the hitae-ate around their heads, "You two have your headbands. You're ninja now? That's so great!"

Naruto grinned, "Yep and ever since we've graduated all we've been doing is just kicking ass right Haku-chan? You should know." Haku glared at Naruto in response.

Winry noted the girl in the company of her two familiar friends, "Who is this girl you guys?"

Haku smiled and bowed to Winry, "Winry-san I am Haku Momochi, a ninja of Konohagakure like Jushiro-kun and Naruto-kun."

Jushiro wagged his eyebrows, "Yep Haku-chan here is a chunin like me and the runt and she is also my beautiful, dear, sweet, killer ice manipulating beau, if'n you didn't know." Jushiro sighed as he looked to the sky, "Ahh, life is sweet…"

Pinako took the pipe out of her mouth, "Well it's wonderful to see you boys again, come on inside, we shouldn't be standing outside all day."

XxX

(Konohagakure- Team 7 meeting bridge)

As Sasuke leaned against the bridge staring out into nothing Sakura looked on in thought. Ever since the chunin exams the team had been subtly drifting apart. Naruto had seemed somewhat resentful of Kakashi when he had spoken to her right before the 3rd phase of the tests. Leaving Naruto to his own devices had fractured the sensei/student relationship between them, even she had seen that. Even though Kakashi had began making some effort to make amends Naruto had held true to his own words from before, he had gotten away from Team 7.

After becoming a chunin he hadn't gone on a single mission with the team, only showing up in passing or out of respect for the meeting time. In a sense it was only a matter of time before he got himself taken off for good, or at least he would attempt to.

Kakashi hadn't taught Sasuke any new jutsu since the chunin exam. In between the invasion, Itachi's Tsukoyomi attack on Sasuke, and Sasuke attempting to fight Naruto and his subsequent attempt to use Chidori on the boy Kakashi had taken to finding some way to deal with Sasuke's attitude, something he had been neglecting somewhat in the past, before he was too far gone. Due to Sasuke's punishment for the attack against a superior rank ninja one of his conditions for probation was to be restricted to D-ranked missions until later notice, needless to say the stoic boy was not pleased.

Every day the two would ask Kakashi where Naruto had gone off to, as seemingly the blonde was always out on missions these days instead of in town, Sakura had even asked Hinata where he might have gone, but Both Hinata and Kakashi said he would be back soon and that they really couldn't say much more. No one could tell what was going on in Sasuke's head and the last of the Uchiha clan was doing a very good job keeping his inner thoughts a secret.

Sakura had eventually realized that the team had been a balance between the three kids and Kakashi. But with Naruto more or less gone from the team the dynamic had shifted significantly, not just as far as in combat seeing as how Naruto was the strongest, but in morale. The dry wit, sarcasm and all around tension-breaking one-liners and silliness of Naruto that kept Sasuke from getting too high strung and keeping Sakura from getting too low had vanished.

They were all stretched to the limit mentally. Sakura sighed looking out onto the water just as the telltale pop of Kakashi arriving and giving his obligatory half-assed excuse for being late sounded out.

She really needed to talk to Naruto soon when he got home.

XxX

"Are we done yet? I swear it didn't take half this long the last time you guys measured me for my arm."

Winry growled as she measured Naruto's left arm while Pinako looked over the right, "Shut up Naruto, this is a delicate process, can you pay for another outfitting yourself if this one screws up?"

Pinako closed the tape measure, "Well kid you're getting bigger very fast, any longer without getting over here and you would be horribly overbalanced."

Naruto grunted as Pinako detached his auto-mail arm, "Damn it." He muttered while rubbing the nothingness.

Haku looked on wide-eyed as Jushiro yawned next to her on a couch, "So what's the verdict you guys? How soon can the kid get his prosthetic back in top condition? You guys weren't busy when we showed up were you?"

Pinako shook her head, "You shouldn't be talking to me." She angled her head at Winry, "There's your technician."

Jushiro blinked, "Okay, wow working on your own already Winry? Well how long do you figure, a week?"

Winry smiled smugly at Jushiro, "Really Jushiro, you think it would take a week? I'll have it ready for you in two days."

Naruto groaned, "Don't go killing yourself over it all you gear-head, it's just an arm and it isn't going anywhere, take your time. I need a vacation anyway."

Pinako brought out a wooden substitute for him arm when Naruto backed away quickly, "Oh hell no, get that wooden piece of crap away from me, I can't use that thing!"

Haku looked confused, "Why Naruto-kun, it's a prosthetic not too much different from your arm."

Naruto shook his head rapidly, "Oh no it isn't. Compared to the real thing that misplaced puppet piece is total shite in quality. You don't go straight from steamed lobster to tuna in a can, no way is that thing even touching my coupling."

Pinako snorted, "Fine brat, go armless for a few days, I don't want to hear a single word from you about it then."

Naruto _thought_ he was waving it off, but realized he was trying to use his right arm, 'Okay, this will take some getting used to.'

Winry picked up his arm and began to head out, "Okay, two days to a week to so your arm, no sweat." Before she left the room Winry called out, "Jushiro you really should go up to Capital City while you're over here. You know you have to eventually."

Jushiro nodded as he stood to leave the room without a word. Pinako sighed, "You know which room to use, only one bed though." Jushiro waved over his shoulder as he went up the stairs.

Naruto opened the front door to head outside, "I'll probably just take the couch Pinako-baachan, let Big Boss and Haku-chan have it."

Pinako looked at the boy as he left, "Is he still not over it yet? It's been years since his family died, eventually he has to come to terms with it."

Naruto smiled slightly at the woman, "I know… Why do you think I brought him in the first place? I'll be back later, I just need some air for a bit."

XxX

Haku opened the door to Jushiro's room to see the white-haired teen sitting on the edge of the bed. Haku shut the door and sat down next to him, "Are you okay Jushiro-kun? It must be tough to be so close to where your family died."

Jushiro chuckled, "I don't know why I'm being such a bitch about it, your story was way worse than mine, and the first thing my parents would say if they knew how I was acting right now would be to cheer up. But damn it it's hard."

Haku grabbed one of his hands and began to rub the back of one to calm him down, "You know that there are people that care about you Jushiro-kun. You miss them, I know you do, I miss my family too, for all that happened."

Jushiro gave her a sad look as she continued, "I found new precious people; Zabuza-sama, your little brother Naruto-kun," Haku took Jushiro's face in her hands, "And you too Jushiro-kun."

Jushiro's eyes widened as he looked at the smile on her face, "M-Me? I'm precious to you Haku-chan, really?"

Haku nodded, "Yes you are Jushiro-kun. You've done so much for me; you let me live after defeating me in battle, you helped save my life, you gave me and Zabuza-sama a place to live and the chance to continue our careers. You let me into your life as if I was a friend, and eventually more. You've done so much for me Jushiro-kun and you've never asked for anything in return."

Jushiro smirked as Haku blushed, "Well, nothing that I didn't actually want from you in the first place. But still, Jushiro-kun, you are precious to me, and I hope that you think that I am precious to you too."

Haku took a deep breath before giving Jushiro a brilliant smile and putting her hand on his cheek, "What I'm trying to say to you is that I… I think I love you."

Jushiro looked shell-shocked, "No way? Really? You love me?" A major grin split his face, "That is so awesome!"

Jushiro grabbed Haku in a hug and fell back on the bed amid the girl's giggles. As Haku's laughter faded the two just lay down staring at the ceiling before Jushiro finally spoke, "Haku-chan you know I love you too right?" Haku nodded, "And thank you, really. I was kind of slipping for a moment there."

Jushiro planted a kiss on Haku's lips that she returned readily. Jushiro looked into her eyes as they parted and saw the look she was giving him. Jushiro's eyes never left hers, "One moment baby."

XxX

Within a few minutes time, Naruto sat out on the porch with a shit-eating grin on his face, 'Kyuubi-chan they really should have closed the window before they started that.' He had heard everything and would be rightly teasing them about finally doing the deed on the morrow.

In his head he heard a giggle, "**I don't know Naruto-kun, who knows? That could be us soon.**"

Naruto's nose began to bleed slightly before he wiped it with his left forearm, 'Possibly, nothing's set in stone in the world. Hell, maybe one day I can figure out a way to get you out without me ending up six-feet deep. Who really knows?'

Kyuubi smiled in Naruto's head, "**I would like that Naruto-kun. Now, get somewhere comfortable so that we can train, we need to use this time to get you better at using my power.**"

Naruto rolled his eyes and stood up to head back inside, 'Yes Kyuubi-sensei whatever you say. Your wish is my command.'

Kyuubi chuckled in a plotting fashion, "**We'll see if you think so in a few minutes.**"

Naruto walked back inside the house and shut the door.

XxX

As Naruto shut the door a figure emerged from the ground a safe distance from the Rockbell house. As she fully stood with a smirk on her face she walked away from the house, "So Fullmetal, you don't seem to be at 100% quite right now." She chuckled as she pulled her hood down to reveal the tanned, brown-haired Iwa girl, "Tomorrow you are mine, because no one has ever beaten Iwa's top rookie jounin, Akiza Tamagawa.

**Yo, I'm still pissed, and I'm still busy, but writing this is like crack, and so are reviews. Give me what I needs or I will start tweaking and straight flip on you, I'M CRAZY AS SHIT, THEM RIPPLES GOT ME AHHHH!**

**Whatever, playtime is over, *sigh* back to work… When will I be free?**

**The 2nd week of May, gotta love university schedules, way better than high school, muahahahahaha *Cough, Cough* shit. I will attempt to add a shitload of random hilarity and ridiculously awesome one-liners because I'm awesome like that.**

**Drop me a line, let me know what you think, what I can do better, what I'm doing great. I'm writing this for me, but knowing that people like it is a great feeling and I like to be entertaining so reviews are not only welcome, I fucking need 'em.**

**Kenchi out… Back later this week with some new shiznit so hot it'll leave your toilet bowl steaming.**


	31. Luck of the Blonde Kid

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. So what? I'll make my own manga with blackjack and hookers… In fact you know what, forget about the manga.

**Chapter 31: Luck of the… Blonde Kid**

The next three days were simply wake up, eat, bug Winry about the auto-mail, sleep, one handed exercises, fight with Jushiro… one handed and lose horribly, and watch Haku and Jushiro in their public displays of affection.

Eventually one morning Naruto was awakened on the couch with a swift kick to his side. Jumping off of the couch he found Jushiro and Haku looking at him, "Good morning brat. I thought I'd wake you up before we leave."

Naruto rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he looked at the two older chunin, "Where exactly are you two going?"

Jushiro sighed, "I'm going to my parent's old house in outside of Capital City with Haku-chan so I don't punk out and turn back before I get there."

Naruto sat back down on the couch, "So you're finally going huh?"

Jushiro nodded, "It's time I put that issue to bed once and for all."

Naruto stood up, "Well hold on damn it! I'm coming too! I'm bored as hell just sitting around here doing nothing."

Jushiro and Haku looked at each other before Jushiro turned back to Naruto, "I don't think so little buddy, this one is kind of personal. I'm taking Haku-chan because, well I told you why. I don't think you should come." Naruto's jaw dropped as Jushiro and Haku waved goodbye as they left the house.

Naruto grumbled as he stomped through the house to get dressed, "Big Boss… Leaving me here, I'm bored as hell."

"Stop cursing Naruto-kun!" A shout came from another room.

Naruto kept walking through the house and stopped in Winry's workshop, peering over her shoulder with a grin, "Hey Winry-chan… Is my arm done yet?"

Winry didn't even look back, "Naruto-kun come back later, it should be done tonight, go do something."

Naruto saluted Winry smartly, "Okay then Winry-chan, I'll be back later."

Winry waved him off not even looking up from the table she was working from. As Naruto ran to the front door Pinako's voice stopped him, "Where do you think you're going right now?"

Naruto turned with a grin, "Well I'm bored, really bored. I am going to go outside and run amok while I wait for Winry-chan to finish my arm, so don't expect me back anytime soon." Naruto ran out and shut the door behind him.

Naruto jumped off the porch and started stretching, "Alright you one-horse town let's see what you've got for Naruto Uzumaki today! I'm ready for some debauchery!" Naruto started sprinting down the dirt path.

XxX

Team 7 stood at the normal meeting bridge at the end of the day, "Alright team, good work today. Go on home and be here tomorrow at 10 am as usual." Kakashi dismissed Sasuke and Sakura for the day as he pulled out his book and turned to leave.

Sakura made a motion to try speaking with Sasuke, however Sasuke had other plans for his down time, "Kakashi I need you to train me."

Kakashi stopped in his tracks and turned to face his dark-haired student, book still shadowing his face, "No Sasuke I don't think so this time, sorry maybe some other time."

Sasuke gritted his teeth subtly at Kakashi, 'Damn it, the dobe is a chunin and he just keeps improving. He's going on long missions and I'm still stuck in this village wasting time. Why do they insist on holding me back.' Sasuke just calmed himself before speaking, "Why not Kakashi, I need to keep improving and I haven't learned anything since the chunin exams."

Kakashi didn't look up, "Well I figured since the last time I taught you anything in the jutsu department you went and tried to use it on your own comrade to kill him I shouldn't try teaching you anything."

Sasuke almost lost control of himself as he strained to speak in a controlled form, "Kakashi, Naruto got promoted, I need to catch up to him. Why are you holding me back when you've just let him excel."

Kakashi shut his book and looked at the fuming Sasuke and Sakura who was looking increasingly concerned, "Alright, as much as it really hurts to actually admit it, I've done absolutely nothing for Naruto the entire time we've been a team. I haven't taught him any jutsu, I haven't overlooked his training once outside of the team exercises, hell when I did try to teach tree-climbing he already knew it. Everything he's gotten he's done himself."

Kakashi closed the distance and stared down Sasuke, "You on the other hand, I've been focusing on you from pretty much day one. I've been trying to break you of your selfish outlook, but I guess all of the attention just exacerbated it."

Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Sasuke just wait out your probation that's all I can say. If you want training you have to train yourself for now. Until you prove to me that you can put your comrades ahead of yourself then you'll get nothing more from me."

Kakashi turned to leave, "When Naruto gets back you should find him and apologize to him. Actually you could learn something from him far more important than any ninjutsu."

Kakashi used shunshin to leave, ending the conversation. Sasuke stood shaking in anger, 'I've just about had it with this place, it's as if they don't want me to avenge my clan. My entire clan was butchered and the entire village just watched and carried on.' Sasuke turned and headed towards the Uchiha compound leaving Sakura in her place ignoring her calls.

Sasuke walked inside the compound, taking in the buildings that were once full of life and activity. The entire scene was perfectly preserved from the day of the massacre, not a thing out of place outside of Sasuke's house itself. The large area was almost reminiscent of a museum.

Sasuke entered his home and walked through the empty halls, 'I'll avenge you all I swear it, it's all I desire out of life and my solemn promise to you is that Itachi will answer for what he's done, come hell or high water.'

Sasuke barely noticed the dull throbbing on the back of his shoulder as the curse mark resurfaced.

XxX

The sun was receding over the horizon as Naruto walked on the lonesome path back to Pinako and Winry's home, "I can't believe Big Boss and Haku-chan would just leave in the middle of butt-fucking nowhere with not a damn thing to do to occupy myself all day."

Naruto kicked up dirt as he kept walking ahead, "Such a boring day. I guess all of the kids around here leave for a real place when they get old enough, poor Winry, there isn't a single teenager our age around here."

"Really, you don't say?"

Naruto turned to find a girl in a cloak shadowed by her hood with only her smirking mouth visible. Warning signs went off all throughout his head, but Naruto, being the friendly yet slightly thick headed blonde ninja he is put a smile on, "Well hello there sis. Who are you? I haven't seen you around Resembool before. Are you from around here?"

The girl chuckled slightly, "No I guess you can say I'm just here on business. And as for my name, well I guess I could tell you that much, my name is Akiza Tamagawa at your service."

Naruto smiled at the girl as he moved towards her, "That's a nice name, you seem really pretty, if only that hood wasn't in the way." Akiza grinned and pulled her hood down to look at Naruto with her striking forest green eyes.

She giggled at him, "So what do you think now Fullmetal?"

Naruto grinned widely, "You see, I knew you were pretty, keep the hood off, you look nicer that way." Something clicked in Naruto's head as the grin fell from his face, "Wait, what did you call me?"

Akiza smirked at Naruto's change in expression, "I know you Fullmetal Alchemist, although right now you don't look too full or too metal if you catch my drift."

Naruto backed up a step, "So what do you want? If you know me and called me that then you have some business with me, but how could you even know me? You're my age."

Akiza chuckled and began walking towards a retreating Naruto, "You've become quite well know in Iwagakure Fullmetal. The Tsuchikage has quite a little interest in you… and that's not a good thing as far as you or I am concerned."

Akiza made a quick motion to throw a kunai and cut Naruto across his cheek. As she threw off her cloak to reveal dark shinobi pants taped at the ankles and just her vest covering her upper body leaving the bottom half of her torso exposed, "I'm here to capture you and take you back with me to Iwa Fullmetal Alchemist, please comply. They never told me that you actually had to be in working condition."

Naruto had a bead of sweat rolling down his face, 'I swear to Kami, I am just the eternal bitch of Murphy's Law. I'm missing a damn arm and I have no back-up anywhere nearby. Calling Big Boss would do no good, he's nowhere near here, this would be all over by the time he even got in gear to come back.'

Naruto smiled bitterly as he shook his head, "So I don't think I could convince you to give me a half an hour to get back to the place I'm staying at and get my arm before we do this right?"

Akiza shook her head, "Nope, sorry Fullmetal. I'm not risking my mission record to give you time to get your things together, this is much easier." Akiza ran in to attack Naruto who put up a flimsy one-armed guard that she just walked right through to deliver a sharp hook to his face that sent him stumbling back.

Akiza laughed as Naruto caught his balance, "Give me a break Fullmetal, I'm a jounin. Even though I personally suck at taijutsu I can beat up some one-armed runt with a death wish. Just surrender and this will go so much smoother."

Naruto rubbed his face, "Sorry, can't quit Akiza. I have too much to do to just roll over and get caught by you. And I call bullshit on the jounin thing, how old are you 14? You don't look any older than me."

Akiza scoffed and ran back in to deliver a knee to his body and a spinning kick to his face. She whipped her hair back as she stood over a fallen Naruto, "It's not really so odd. Your own village had Itachi Uchiha as an Anbu by the time he was 13, and your Kakashi Hatake was a jounin when he was 13."

Naruto kicked at her legs and rolled backwards to get to his feet, "Okay I'll give you that, but why me? What the hell is Iwa's problem with me I never even met anyone from Iwa before now."

Akiza smirked as she set herself into a combat stance, "Well you seem to be progressing far too quickly for our Tsuchikage's tastes, that and you look way too much like that insufferable arch-bastard himself and you've got yourself a recipe for getting placed on our shit list."

Naruto looked at the girl blocking his path to the Rockbell's house, 'Damn it, I am not getting past her. Even if I do there's no way to lose her, no trees or any kind of cover and far too much ground to cover.'

Akiza bit her thumb and began making her hand-signs, "Let's make this quick, I'm tired of the countryside, I want to go home. Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Sekki Kiritateru, Naginata no Eimin (Summoning Jutsu: Earth Slayer, the Eternal Halberd)!"

(EXPLANATION NOTE: A naginata/halberd is a weapon that is comprised of a long wooden shaft with a moderately long blade on the end, it has a guard where the blade and shaft meet like a sword. It's a pretty nasty weapon for those that do not watch "The Deadliest Warrior" On Spike TV. That weapon kicks ass as far as I'm concerned)

Naruto went wide-eyed as he watched the girl spin her massive weapon overhead before slamming it down by her side blade facing up. Akiza laughed once more at Naruto's situation, "You can still surrender before I have to get messy. Don't make me cut your other arm off just to capture you."

Naruto scratched his head, "Um… no?"

Akiza sighed, "You made your choice I guess. You're not exactly smart, but I guess I can respect that. Ok, no mercy from me you blonde bastard."

Akiza ran in to assault Naruto who dodged her strokes rapidly, cursing himself all the while, 'Damn it! I trained too much to use the auto-mail arm to block attacks and counter accordingly while I hold my enemies back with my arm. I stopped learning how to really dodge people.'

Akiza slashed Naruto across the chest and kicked him in the chest before thrusting straight ahead with the naginata. Naruto moved to the side and batted the naginata aside with his left arm. Using his only arm to create an opening for himself he also made one for Akiza who promptly awarded him with a quick jab to his face.

Naruto stumbled back and took another slash, this time across the shoulder. Naruto fell and rolled back holding his new wound, "Damn, how good are you with that thing by the way?"

Akiza rubbed the bridge of her nose smugly, "Not that it matters Fullmetal Cripple, but I'm a fucking surgeon with this thing."

Naruto growled at the hopeless situation, "**Naruto-kun take some of my chakra, maybe you can overwhelm her with it.**"

Naruto mentally shook his head, 'No Kyuubi-chan, she's from Iwa. Most other hidden villages don't know me and I'd like to keep it that way for now. If I killed her with your chakra then Iwa would know something was up when they find her body and find the demonic chakra rolling off of her corpse.'

Naruto stood while he kept speaking to his tenant, 'They don't need to know I'm a jinchuuriki, it might make them up the quality of assassin next time.'

Naruto felt the wounds on his body slow in blood flow as he reached into his cloak, "Try this then!"

Naruto pulled out a kunai wrapped in an explosive tagchucked it at Akiza who simply batted the explosive tag aside, sending it in the air to explode harmlessly, "Is that all you have for me? Just quit, please. I'm starting to get really upset with you."

Naruto chuckled, "You? Upset? You didn't get cut across the chest and shoulder by a crazy bitch with a big ass weapon did you?"

Akiza took the jab in stride and spun her naginata as she began walking towards Naruto, "Those little paper-cuts are nothing little boy. Time to get serious."

Naruto growled at Akiza, "Damn it I'm not a little boy! I'm just as old as you!" Akiza began running at Naruto who threw caution to the wind and charged in himself yelling a battle cry.

XxX

Winry wiped her forehead as she stood from her seat smiling down at her work, "Finally, after almost 5 days it's done." Winry stretched as she yelled out, "Grandma! Where's Naruto-kun, his arm is done!"

Pinako walked into the room, "He left this morning looking for something to do today since Jushiro left with Haku." She took a puff of her pipe, "He should be back eventually, the moon is out, he should know to be getting back right now."

Suddenly an explosion ripped through the silence of the night countryside. Winry got up and ran to the front door to see a fireball dispersing in the distance in the air. Winry turned back to see Pinako carrying Naruto's arm and a belt of tools, "You'd better get going and take it to him. Who knows what that boy ended up getting into."

Winry nodded and wrapped the belt around herself, taking the arm also before taking off into the night to find Naruto.

XxX

Naruto's body slammed off of the stone wall on the side of the road as blood flew from his mouth. Akiza laughed as Naruto sat up against the wall. Naruto spat blood on the ground, "Stop laughing you crazy stone bitch."

Akiza stopped laughing and slammed her blade through Naruto's arm, pinning it against the wall. Akiza ignored Naruto's shouts of pain as she put her face close to Naruto's, grinding the blade deeper as she spoke, "Now that's not nice, I don't think I like that nickname Fullmetal. I'd rather be called Iwa's top rookie jounin. I think I've earned it." Naruto kicked futilely at her as she backed away and drove the sole of her sandal into his face as it sat against the wall.

Watching Naruto's head slump as she pulled her foot back she grinned and pulled her weapon out of his arm. She poked at his prone form and got a groan in response, "So you're still conscious? Let's fix that shall we? I don't feel like having you freak out on me when we're going home."

Akiza picked Naruto up by his collar and held him at eye level. She smirked at the sight of her prey, "You're not so tough Fullmetal. With only one arm you can't do anything can you?"

Naruto gave her a bloody smile, "Naruto Uzumaki Hidden Jutsu: Ketsuekiri no Jutsu (Blood Mist Jutsu)…" Naruto spit his blood in her face like a can of mace. Akiza dropped Naruto and began fussing with her eyes.

Naruto took the time to get up and sprint off down the path, 'Got to get away… I can't beat her like this, she's just messing with me. I can't take her even when she's barely serious.'

Naruto mentally made thirty Kage Bunshin, "Hang back and do whatever you have to do to slow her down! Buy me as much time as you can!" The one-armed clones gave him a left handed salute and turned to face the path, waiting for the Iwa nin to charge down the path looking for their creator.

Naruto kept running until he finally saw a sight for sore eyes. Naruto grinned a bloody smile as he saw Winry and what she was carrying. Naruto collapsed to his knees as Winry closed the distance between them.

Winry dropped to her knees to check Naruto over, "Are you alright? What the hell happened to you?"

Naruto smiled, "I guess I'm just a magnet for random acts of violence." Naruto's smile fell as a sensation hit him, "Winry please tell me you brought the stuff to put that damned thing on." Winry nodded and pulled out what she needed while Naruto set himself against the wall.

Naruto's thoughts were flooded with scenes of battle, namely Akiza cutting through his handicapped clones like wheat, Naruto pulled his cloak off as Winry came over and set his arm in position while Naruto kept thinking, 'I can see what my clones did before they die? Why the hell didn't I know that beforehand? She's kicking their asses though.'

Naruto turned to Winry, "Are we set?"

Winry nodded, "Whenever you're ready it can go in."

Naruto took a series of shallow breaths, "Okay go for it."

Winry cranked a series of places on his arm, attaching it back to his nerve endings. Naruto felt the searing pain of his arm and shouted loudly to the sky. Winry gave him a hug to try and soothe his pain until a voice pulled her from worrying about Naruto, "Those damnable Kage Bunshin of yours truly were a pain to kill, especially the last three."

Winry and Naruto turned to see Akiza walking down the path holding her naginata, "They gave me a creepy looking grin before they ran at me in a blind rush… one handed. Are your clones suicidal Fullmetal? Do you have something to tell me?"

Naruto began laughing madly as Winry backed away and jumped over the wall to get out of the way. Akiza raised an eyebrow, "Have you lost it Fullmetal? Did I kick your ass too hard back there and give you a concussion?"

Naruto laughed as only his left side was being shown to the girl while he stood up. His mirth subsided as he gave her an evil grin, "You have been kicking my ass right from the start of our little fight."

Akiza shrugged smugly, "It's not hard to beat up a kid with one arm you know."

Naruto nodded, "Oh I know, but now it's time to see how good you are when we're on even ground."

Akiza's eyes widened as Naruto turned to reveal his newly re-installed auto-mail, gleaming in the moonlight, "I hope you're as good as you think you are. Remember my name stone bitch, Naruto Uzumaki, the Fullmetal Alchemist!"

**Aaaand scene. Cliffhangers for everybody! Enjoy the suspense for however long I damn well feel like leaving it there. I love reading the comments for this story no matter what people have to say. It makes me feel like somebody out there actually gives a damn about the crazy half-assed ideas that come from my head, it's intoxicating.**

**But I have to get back to the outside world, I have a suddenly scheduled fight tomorrow and I feel like kicking some ass so I'm gonna get some rest and get ready to punch some guy in the face and bend one of his limbs the wrong way if my own will and body are permitting.**

**Kenchi out.**


	32. The Alchemist Strikes Back

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If anyone reading this does then screw you! What, you just read fanfiction and laugh at all the broke people with pipe dreams of owning one of the high grossing manga? Fuck you! I'm coming for you cornbread I'm coming. Don't close your eyes tonight! That's a threat!

**Chapter 32: The Alchemist Strikes Back**

(Capital City, Hi no Kuni)

Jushiro sat at the edge of his hotel room bed looking outside at the moon. Haku walked in from the bathroom with a concerned look after seeing Jushiro staring blankly outside. Haku slid up next to him and wrapped her arms around him, "What's wrong Jushiro-kun, are you okay?"

Jushiro took note of the girl holding him to her chest and smiled, "Yeah Haku-chan I'm fine, just a feeling that's all."

Haku frowned and squeezed him tightly, "Are you still upset about seeing your old house today? Because you said you were fine by the time we left."

Jushiro turned around to face her, "No Haku-chan no. I didn't lie about that. The runt was right, coming to see it now after so long really brought it all full circle. I still want Orochimaru's balls in a deep fryer, but whatever happens happens. At least they left me a gift in my alchemy that I can pass down to my family."

Haku blushed but quelled her libido, "So what's the matter then?"

Jushiro shook his head, "I can't help but think we should have taken the brat. I've got the feeling his dumb ass got caught up in some old bullshit and now he's in trouble or something."

Haku nodded, "Well there's nothing we can do here now. Even if we ran full speed back then we wouldn't get back until tomorrow afternoon anyway. Just don't worry about it."

Jushiro fell back on the bed and Haku followed, landing on his chest forcing him to exhale with an 'oomph', "I guess you're right. The kid is a scrapper, he'll be just fine I guess."

XxX

(Back in Resembool- Moonlit Road)

Akiza growled and looked at Winry who was peering over the wall, "I was too nice. I should have just killed that family you were with while you were gone all day and then fought you afterwards."

Naruto looked shocked and looked between his enemy and Winry, "You would just go and kill Winry-chan and Pinako-baachan like that?"

Akiza smirked cruelly, "They are just an obstacle to me capturing you. The girl over there got you back to fighting shape, that'll make this a lot more difficult now. Killing her before she could have installed your arm would have shortened the battle and given me less effort."

Naruto looked at Akiza enraged, "So you would just kill her only because she was a variable! She's a civilian! She isn't involved in this, it's between you and me!"

Akiza chuckled, "Fullmetal you'll find that the higher in the rankings you go, the more the lines are blurred. I'm 14 and I've already done assassinations on political figures, not ninja or samurai or any kind of warrior, just politicians." Akiza looked up at the moon, "Some people say I shouldn't have come up so fast, that I should have kept my innocence for a while longer." Her gaze snapped back down to Naruto, "But my innocence has been dead for years! I knew what I was getting into and so do you! I was a little girl once, now I'm just a soldier for Iwa."

She put her naginata in an attacking stance, "And like a good soldier I will follow my orders from my leader. Your capture is the Tsuchikage's will, and I am the tool that will ensure that his will is carried out. Prepare yourself Fullmetal, no more games!"

Naruto clapped and ran his hand across his auto-mail to form his arm-blade, "Well then like a good soldier I guess you should be ready to die, because I'll be damned if you're taking me."

Naruto took a step but was nailed in the back of the head with a wrench and fell to the ground. Akiza stood straight up and simply blinked. Naruto stood up rubbing his head. He snapped around to face Winry standing on the stone wall, "What the hell Winry? We were about to get into some serious shit!"

Winry didn't falter, "You jerk! Do you know how long it took me to get your auto-mail done? And now look at it! Put it back to the way it was you little bastard!"

Naruto yelled right back, "This is how I fight Winry! I'll put it back after the fight is over, just chill out!" Winry pouted and Naruto turned back around to face Akiza, "Now that that little issue is resolved let's pick up where we left off. Where were we? Oh yeah, your bastard spear was getting slammed into my shoulder."

Akiza chuckled, "Good memory. Your little metal arm might give you a chance now… a snowball's chance… in hell!"

Naruto shrugged, "Never know until I try right? Bring it on stone bitch."

Akiza ran in and slashed at Naruto who simply lifted his auto-mail arm to block. Akiza smirked , "Hirogeru."

The blade of her naginata extended and forced Naruto to push off and jump back before he was impaled. Naruto gazed at her weapon as the blade went back to its normal length, "What the hell was that?"

Akiza laughed, "That was one of Sekki Kiritateru's special abilities that I've discovered. It can extend its length if I infuse it with my chakra. It's one of the qualities that make Sekki Kiritateru one of Iwagakure's legendary weapons of fate. It's one reason that I'm so strong."

Naruto stared her down, "So your weapon is your main attack? It's basically what got you so far in your career?"

Akiza nodded, "This beautiful weapon is what got me through the chunin exams, none of those baby genin could stand up to my blade. After that it was straight to the top for me, and now you're the next to fall. But don't worry, I'll leave you alive so you can tell everyone how Akiza Tamagawa kicked your Yondaime looking ass up and down this country road."

Naruto grit his teeth, 'A legendary weapon… What else can it do? I've seen Zabuza's Kubikiri Hocho, Kisame Hoshigaki's Samedaha, and Orochimaru has that damn Kusanagi. Why do all of the bad guys have kick ass weapons?'

Akiza steeled her expression, "Enough gawking at my weapon Fullmetal, now fight! Hirogeru!" Naruto swatted the blade away from himself and ran in. Akiza jumped back and swung her naginata to the side. The extended blade gaffed Naruto across his side before he leapt away.

Naruto felt the cut on his side, it was deep enough to begin bleeding profusely. Naruto squinted and clapped his hands before slamming them into the ground sending up a mass of earth at Akiza. Akiza just cut through the jutting rock, "The weapon is called Earth Slayer you idiot, you've got to do better than that!"

Naruto made his cross seal, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" Twenty clones flanked Naruto at his sides and stared Akiza down. The original stepped out, "No mercy, now go!"

The clones ran at Akiza, Some making blade arms to attack in close, others hanging back to transmute weapons like wakizashis, kunai, shuriken and spears from the ground to prepare with.

Akiza had a grin as she spun through the clumsily organized attacks of the clones and cut through them with brutal efficiency, "More of your touched in the head bunshin I see. For actually having your arm back you aren't doing too much better."

Naruto scoffed, "Kami woman do you ever shut up?" Naruto snapped his finger and the clones let their projectiles fly as the other remainders rushed in with their weapons.

Akiza gracefully danced around the kunai and shuriken and again cut through the assault of the clones with minimal effort, "Is that it? You might as well have not ever run away from me."

Naruto looked around, 'I can't use the terrain, there isn't any terrain! It's pure rolling fields, no trees, no cover, *sigh* I hate Resembool.'

Akiza thrusted the naginata at Naruto from a distance and forced it to extend at the blonde boy. Naruto transmuted a wall up from the ground but the blade pieced through and stabbed him through the chest, however it just kept extending through his arm further and further.

Akiza heard the blonde yell out as the blade pierced his chest. She grinned as she retracted the blade and looked upon the blood coating her weapon, "You can't take too much more of this Fullmetal! Give up before I kill you by accident!"

Naruto dropped down behind his still existent wall and looked back at Winry. Naruto hissed out orders to the girl, "Winry-chan go home!"

Winry, who was shocked at the beating Naruto was taking snapped out of her trance, "What? And just leave you here alone! She'll hurt you, I couldn't do that!"

Naruto coughed up blood on the ground, "Listen, I fight a very destructive style that makes a lot of collateral damage. If you hang around then I can't cut loose on this bitch, and then I really will lose. You saved my ass when you brought my arm, but you can save it again by getting the hell out of dodge. When I'm done I'll head straight back home I promise."

Winry nodded and began running back to the house leaving Akiza and Naruto alone on the path. Naruto sighed in relief, "Sorry Winry-chan but you don't need to see this."

Akiza began to taunt the boy, "Some really loyal friends you have there Fullmetal, your team left you alone with a handicap and now the little mechanic girl up and left you too while you're wounded."

Akiza saw a figure dart out from behind the wall and make an attempt at flanking her, she extended her blade and cleaved it in two just in time to hear a pop and a clap before a flash signified that the wall was broken down. She immediately ducked a slash that Naruto sent that was fully intended to take off her head or sever her jugular and tried to retract her blade, but as she ducked and stayed low Naruto shot out his knee and caught her in the face.

As she popped back up from the knee Naruto grabbed her by the collar and kneed her hard in the body causing Akiza to cough up blood. Naruto took his advantage and ran her into the stone wall. Akiza again tried to send a signal to her blade to retract but Naruto cut off her mental order again with a sharp elbow to her face that cut her over her eye. Naruto kept Akiza on the wall and continued beating her to a pulp while she kept calling to her weapon only to get interrupted.

Naruto grabbed the hand holding the blade and gave her a dark grin, "You made a few very serious mistakes today when you came after me." Naruto made a sharp twist and broke her wrist. Akiza dropped the blade and Naruto threw her back out into the open and began to pummel her while she simply took his shots with no hope for a counter, "First: You took the goddamn mission in the first place!"

Naruto grabbed her in the thai plum clinch and began a barrage of unblocked knees to her body and head, "Second: You underestimated me, the entire time. Jounin, chunin or whatever I'm a dangerous motherfucker. Ask anyone that I didn't kill yet and they'll tell you not to fuck around with me!"

Naruto pulled her up to face him and hit a hard spinning backfist straight to her jaw that sent her stumbling limply backwards Naruto ran in and hit a flying knee strike to her head before he summoned his Kage Bunshin to surround her. Naruto clapped the ground and sent her flying with a mass of ground looking like a fist. The clones then sent their brethren flying as they kicked Akiza higher in the air again and again.

Akiza was fading in and out of consciousness as they floated above a grassy field. Naruto appeared under Akiza grabbing her arms and turning so that he was on her like a sled before he thrusted a kick that sent her to the ground hard face first.

Akiza still tried to move away from where she landed hard but Naruto dropped down from the sky with an axe kick straight to her spine forming a crater, "Sankakusu Kesei (Delta Formation)!" Akiza shouted in anguish before finally collapsing. Naruto stood up over her and looked at her beaten form, "Your biggest mistake: You rely on your weapon far too much… After I forced you to drop the damn thing you were pretty much useless."

Naruto turned to walk away before a weak voice made him turn, "Wait…" Naruto walked back to Akiza's crater. Akiza looked at Naruto weakly, "So just kill me already… You win."

Naruto shook his head, "No… You're going to go back to Iwa and you're going to tell the Tsuchikage to leave me the fuck alone from now on. Tell him this was his own freebie, if he sends anymore kidnappers or if he gets a wild hair up his ass and decides that sending an assassin for me or anyone I care about is a great idea you'd better make sure he has body-bags ready for how I send them back."

Naruto turned to leave Akiza in the crater. As he made it back to the main road he turned and looked towards where he left her, "And clean yourself up girl! Because you got knocked the fuck out!"

Naruto vanished in the night as Akiza laid in the crater racked with pain, 'That son-of-a-bitch! He didn't even kill me after he won! He doesn't think I'm a threat!' Akiza tried to move to stand but fell back down spitting up blood.

Akiza rolled over and looked up at the moon, "You win this round Fullmetal Alchemist… But this isn't over. Forget what my orders were, after I get back to Iwa I'll hunt you down… This isn't over, you will pay dearly for this humiliation. I will make you wish you'd never fought, I'm going to make you beg at my feet by the time I'm through with you."

XxX

(The Next Day)

"Guess who's back!"

Naruto jumped up and ran at the front door when he heard that shout. Upon sight of who had just entered the house Naruto punched Jushiro right in the stomach. Jushiro doubled over as all of the air left his body, leaving him a wheezing mess on the floor, "*wheeze* Naruto… why?"

Naruto sneered down at his older brother, "Because you left me here with nothing Big Boss. You guys suck… Do you know what the hell I just got through doing?"

Jushiro wheezed defiantly, "Being a short bitch-made pain in the ass? *wheeze*"

Naruto kicked the grounded Jushiro, "Not even close. I had to fight off a foreign jounin with one arm you bastard."

Jushiro coughed, "Well if you beat her one-handed then she wasn't that tough."

Naruto sighed, "I got lucky, first off she wasn't fighting to kill and secondly she kept playing around with me the entire time."

Jushiro stood back up, "Well then you look healthy enough, so let's get going. We need to get back home, who knows what Tsunade has for us when we return."

Jushiro, Haku, and Naruto said their goodbyes to the Rockbell family and went on their way to Konoha, one fully operational alchemist assembled.

XxX

(2 days later- Forests around the edge of Hi no Kuni)

"Dude we're totally lost aren't we Big Boss?"

"Shut the hell up runt, I don't see you reading the goddamn map!"

"Because you won't let me! At least give it to Haku-chan, I know she can read one"

"Jushiro-kun maybe Naruto-kun is right, we should have been back by now."

Naruto scoffed as the trio landed on a branch for a moment, "Big Boss's dumb ass probably took us to the opposite side of the country by now."

Jushiro growled at Naruto, "I said shut up runt, just let me think for a moment! Can I think?"

The trio sat in silence as Jushiro fumbled with the map. After about five minutes of nothing Naruto snatched the map and gave it to Haku. Haku smiled and took the map from Naruto, "Thank you Naruto-kun."

Naruto smiled and nodded while Jushiro grumbled about stupid asshole blonde kids. Haku pursed her lips before speaking up, "Well I would say we are about half a day away from Ta no Kuni."

Naruto grinned smugly at Jushiro, "You see dumbass? You almost took us right into Orochimaru's country. You almost got me caught by a damn pedophile. You know what that pasty motherfucker does! Hell no, not my ass, not tonight!"

Jushiro ignored Naruto, "So Haku-chan, how do we get back on the way to Konoha?"

Haku checked the map, "Well we could keep traipsing about the woods for Kami knows how long until things start looking familiar, or we could double back and head back from the Valley of the End where we all know how to get back."

The brothers looked at one another before speaking simultaneously, "Valley of the End."

The group of chunin took off in the general direction of the Valley of the End before sounds of struggle caught their attention. Naruto grinned and cut off from the group when he heard it. Jushiro freaked out, "Brat where the hell are you going?"

Naruto turned around with a grin, "My testosterone is tweaking and I hear a fight. Game time Big Boss! You and Haku-chan can go on ahead, I'll catch up in a minute." Naruto turned and jumped off.

Jushiro hit himself in the forehead, "I'm so glad my hair is white because I swear that kid is giving me gray hairs."

Haku looked worried, "Should we go get him Jushiro-kun?"

Jushiro pondered it for a moment, "No, no, hell no. Let junior dumbass get caught up in whatever is going down, he can handle it. I am tired and I want to go home quick, let's go home."

XxX

In a field within the forest Rock Lee had been facing off with Kimimaro Kaguya for an extended period of time when the barrel Kimimaro had been carrying began to smoke. At that moment Naruto came bursting through the foliage surrounding the clearing, "Bushy Brows what's up? You can walk right again!"

Rock Lee looked and smiled at the appearance of the blonde boy, "Ah Naruto-kun it is good to see you again, and yes, Tsunade-sama's surgery on me was a success. I am back at fighting capacity." Rock Lee shot his nice guy pose at Naruto while the barrel continued to smoke.

Suddenly the barrel ceased smoking. The three figures stood still until the top burst open and an insane laugh rang out, "Yes! This is real power! This is just what I need to take care of Itachi!"

Naruto's eyes widened as the figure stood on the tree branches at the edge of the clearing. Even with the strange markings on his face Naruto still knew who it was, "S-Sasuke?"

**Bam! Back again with another installment of my awesomeness!**

**My fights were ridiculously easy. I thought I sucked, then I fought the 'tough guys' of Virginia Tech in a mini-tournament this afternoon. If that is how their 'tough guys' fight then no regular person better ever try to get into a fight with me because I was taking it easy on them, Christ.**

**Quarterfinal round: Some kid with a decent boxing base, or so I thought. The bell rings and this kid doesn't set up any jabs or anything, when he comes in he just wings haymakers trying to take my head off. I just kept popping him in the face with quick jabs after I got his timing a minute into the first round. I eventually took him down and the kid held me in the most useless guillotine choke I have ever felt. I moved to full mount and the kid just kept holding me, but I couldn't move. Eventually I had to say that he wasn't doing a damn thing so they stood us back up. Round end. I busted that kid's grill all up, bloody nose, bloody mouth, bruises… made me feel bad**

**Round two pretty much the same as round one only I was pissed off that this guy even thought he was in my league, especially since I heard the judges say he won round one, bullshit. I owned that fucker from bell to bell so I just took him down. Two minutes in I ended up taking his back and choking him out with the rear naked choke.**

**Semifinal round: I just took the kid down, passed to side control and caught him in an arm triangle choke I had set up in half-guard, easy.**

**Final round: I don't even know how that clown had made it so far. I didn't watch the other fights because I like to be surprised, well I was surprised. This kid came out swinging like a girl. He fought kind of how I expected a chicken with arms to try and fight. I just kept dodging, blocking and countering with jabs and hooks. One of my hooks caught the kid clean and he dropped and folded up like a cheap-ass lawn chair on the porch. He waved me off and I get a KO, god I wish there was someone recording that, it was sweet. **

**Not bad for a guy that learned how to fight with a combination of Youtube and fist fighting with your 230 pound linebacker brother and 220 pound former soldier dad, and I beat their asses too. It was so pathetic I still had tons energy to burn, the kid I beat up in my first fight was so tired. It was laughable you know? I was so full of energy I drove back to Radford's campus and cranked out a chapter of Fullmetal Shinobi and my other story Naruto: Soldiers of Fortune, ah… it was a good day to be me.**

**Kenchi OUT! Let me know what's grinding your gears, story or otherwise, I'm here for you… maybe.**


	33. Dial 'D' For Delusional

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Is this like Beetlejuice? If I say I don't own them enough then some cool shit will happen? Well in that case I'll write these damn things every time. Do something!

**Chapter 33: Dial 'D' For Delusional**

Naruto stared at the figure on the branch. Even with all of the markings on his face it was clear to him who it was, "S-Sasuke"

Sasuke jumped off into the forest as Naruto turned to Rock Lee, "Lee what's going on? What the hell are you guys doing."

Lee kept his eyes focused on Kimimaro, "This is one of Orochimaru's henchmen that he sent to bring Sasuke to him. There was a team led by Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji, and Choji, however they all got caught up in their own battles on the way back. I caught up with this one here and have been fighting him until Sasuke came from that barrel."

Naruto growled as he set himself in a stance setting himself to engage Kimimaro also, "Well you look like you could use some help, you should be glad I came."

Lee shoved Naruto back, "Lee what the hell are you doing, let's handle this guy!"

Lee didn't look at him, "I will handle this. You must go ahead and return Sasuke to Konoha. I can take this guy."

Naruto scratched his head, "Fine… Just don't die Bushy Brows, I still need to kick your ass to prove I can."

Naruto ran in the direction Sasuke went, as Kimimaro moved to intercept him Lee got his attention with a kick, "Your battle is with me. Neglecting your opponent like that is terribly rude."

XxX

Jushiro and Haku had eventually made it back to Konoha after a few hours of moving and decided to head to the Hokage Tower to give their report. Jushiro opened the door to find Tsunade looking out the window.

Jushiro moved to the seats by her desk, "Tsunade-sama?" She turned suddenly with a look of concern on her face, "What's the matter Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade gave him a smile, "Just a dangerous mission I sent some people on, so assume you are here to give your report."

Jushiro nodded, "Yep, the 'mission' was a success. There were some speed-bumps that I'll throw into written report, but long story short we're all fine and Naruto has his working auto-mail arm."

Tsunade nodded, "That's good to know, where is the gaki anyway? I would have thought he would have been here for this, it was pretty much his mission anyway."

Jushiro sighed, "The little idiot sensed a fight a few miles away while we were coming back and he ran off and left us to find it. He'll be back soon"

Tsunade perked up, "Battle? Where were you all when he sensed a fight?"

Haku spoke, "We were about a few hours away from the border of Hi no Kuni and Ta no Kuni."

Tsunade paled but a burst of smoke in the office caught her attention, "Kakashi Hatake here, mission complete."

Kakashi took note of the people in the room, "Ah, Jushiro, Haku, I assume your mission was successful? Where's Naruto, I thought he'd be with you."

Tsunade stood up and slammed her hands on the desk, "Kakashi, Sasuke Uchiha has been taken from Konoha and Naruto got caught up in his extraction. He could be with the team of genin I sent to retrieve him."

Tsunade looked down in concern, "They more than likely are engaging Orochimaru's personal guard as we speak, I've sent backup in the form of the Suna team however I need you to go too."

Jushiro jumped up as Kakashi gave her an answer, "Understood, I'll leave at once Tsunade-sama."

Jushiro grabbed Kakashi's arm before he could shunshin away, "I'm coming too. If the runt got caught up in this crap then I'm going to go get him out of it."

Kakashi nodded and grabbed Jushiro before activating his shunshin and leaving the office.

Tsunade groaned as she sat back down in her chair, "How did Sarutobi-sensei do this for so long? I'm at the end of my rope already…"

XxX

Sasuke had been running, however as he reached the head of Madara Uchiha's statue at the Valley of the End he turned to find Naruto standing on Hashirama Senju's statue. Sasuke smirked darkly, "Naruto, I'm glad you came. I wanted to test this power against you before I left."

Naruto picked his ear and flicked it in a bored fashion, "Yeah whatever, so I don't think I could just verbally convince you to simply stop being a douchebag and come home, could I?"

Sasuke chuckled, "Now why would I do that? Orochimaru can give me power. More power than that pathetic village ever could."

Naruto gave him an 'are you retarded' look, "So you're saying the village that made Hiruzen Sarutobi, Hashirama and Tobirama Senju, Kakashi Hatake, your own brother Itachi Uchiha, Konoha's Kiiroi Senko Minato Namikaze, Ero-sennin Jiraiya the Toad Sage, Tsunade-baachan and ol' snake-face himself Orochimaru couldn't give you more power?"

Sasuke growled, "That's exactly what I'm saying! That weak place wouldn't give me what I needed to kill Itachi. So I'm going somewhere that will."

Naruto shook his head, "You're fucking retarded, I hope you invested in some crazy glue before you left because when you get to Orochimaru you should fill every orifice you have every night before bed, trust me. I'm going home, I'm homesick and tired and I don't feel like breaking up the landscape for your useless ass, cheers."

Naruto turned to leave as Sasuke stood stunned, "Wait! You don't care that I'm defecting? I'm leaving the country for a traitor."

Naruto didn't turn back around, "No I don't. As far as I'm concerned it's not my problem, I'm legally not on Team 7 anymore. I said that after the chunin exams when I got myself promoted I was done with you all. Sakura turned me around concerning her, I still want some kind of contact with her, hell even Kakashi had been redeeming himself lately, but you? Go jump off a cliff and see if I shed a tear or not."

Naruto crouched to gain leverage for a powerful jump away until Sasuke growled something out again, "Why! Why don't you care? I'm the last Uchiha! They sent an entire team out after me to get me back and you don't care?"

Naruto stood back up and faced Sasuke with a huff, "For a few reasons. First: It's not my mission, I'm not supposed to be here I just stumbled on the scene, once again marking me as the eternal bitch to Murphy's Law, so I don't really have a stake in this at all. Second: I didn't plan on working with you or having any kind of personal vested interest in you anyway, I washed my hands of you long ago. Third and probably most important: You're just one goddamn genin. You, bloodline or not, are not fucking worth an entire team of ninja fucking chasing you across the country. If I were on this mission I'd have been bitching and griping about it the entire time. You're. Not. Worth it!"

That comment made something snap in Sasuke as he flew through handsigns, "Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Grand Fireball Jutsu)!" Sasuke fired his attack across the statues towards Naruto who jumped over the wall at Sasuke and began battering him with his assault.

Naruto punched him dead in the face before launching a right hand to his body. Naruto grabbed Sasuke in a front headlock and began kneeing him hard in the body and face. Naruto pulled him back upright and pulled his right arm back for another punch until Sasuke caught it.

Naruto made eye contact with Sasuke to find that the strange markings from before had reappeared on his face, "What in the hell is that?" Sasuke grinned as he kicked Naruto in the stomach and threw him off the top of the statue into the water below.

Naruto surfaced and swam to shore as Sasuke cackled from above, "This power is what will allow me to kill Itachi! I feel like I can take on anyone like this!" The marks receded as Sasuke doubled over on the statue in pain.

Naruto shook himself off and threw his soaked cloak to the side, "That's a great power." Naruto spoke sarcastically, "It's not really that great, I can still beat you even with it."

Sasuke stood back up, "Then come and show me your power dobe so that I can prove who's better between us!"

Naruto grinned, "Oh Sasuke-_chan_ there was never any contest over it."

Naruto broke out in a run over the water and up the statue as Sasuke took off and ran down the statue. Naruto and Sasuke's fists clashed before Naruto grabbed his arm and threw him off of the statue to the water. Sasuke landed on the water just as Naruto crashed through the surface looking to take Sasuke out.

Sasuke didn't have to wait long for him to resurface as several copies of Naruto came up from the water and attacked Sasuke. Sasuke dropped into his Intercepting Fist stance and activated his Sharingan to engage the clones. A kick to the head of one clone dispelled him as another tried to rush the off-balance defector. Sasuke saw him coming and just swept the leg to dispel him.

The remaining clones surrounded Sasuke with similar grins on their faces. Sasuke looked confused until he heard Naruto's voice from shore, "Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu.)!"

Sasuke felt the water shifting under him and jumped out of the circle as the dragon formed from the water and destroyed the clones. After it fully emerged from the water it stared Sasuke down. Sasuke looked at Naruto who was just smirking from shore. A quick gesture of the hands sent the dragon on a collision course with Sasuke.

Sasuke's Sharingan came in handy as he was able to anticipate the trajectory of the dragon. Eventually he led it against the valley wall, allowing it to crash against it as he stuck to a higher area. Sasuke panted as he watched the water and chunks of rock fall from the wall.

"That was fairly close wasn't it?"

Sasuke looked up in time to see Naruto kick him right in the face sending him down to the ground. Sasuke stood up and spit blood on the ground as Naruto jumped and landed on the ground a good distance near him, "The key to the majority of ninja battles are misdirection and speed. You are faster than me, for now, but I am way more wily than you, I think outside of the box, and I am not afraid to take a tactical retreat when I'm getting my ass kicked."

Sasuke picked himself up and set himself in his stance, "You're just a coward, a wannabe relying on cheap tricks."

Naruto chuckled, "I'm a ninja, like I've said and said again, we don't fight fair. Let me put it like this; if you go down a mountain path and find that your way has been blocked do you do what you can to move the boulder and attempt to continue down the path?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, "Or do you whine and complain about how the boulder is holding you up?" Naruto pointed at him, "The second one is you, but then there are guys like me. Guys like me will follow the trail that the boulder made to find an entirely new path to reach the destination of our choosing."

Sasuke's Sharingan spun wildly out of anger, "What do you know! How could you possibly know what it was like to lose something important to you!" Naruto deadpanned him a look and knocked on his arm to make a clanging noise.

Naruto shrugged it off, "It doesn't matter, by the end of this little fight you will understand, or you'll forever be lost in the darkness. And that Sasuke, would truly be a shame." Sasuke made his handsigns and jumped in the air, "Katon: Housenka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Flower Jutsu)!"

Naruto simply placed his arms out, "Look ma no signs! Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!" The wind blew the fires away but Sasuke had hidden Shuriken in the jutsu. Naruto was caught off guard as the shuriken embedded themselves in his torso.

Naruto dropped to one knee and began pulling shuriken out of himself, "Okay, that was pretty decent. My fault for that one though. Naruto stood up and looked at Sasuke, "What else you go-."

Naruto stopped talking as he saw Sasuke charging up his arm with a mad grin on his face, "We're not done yet dobe, Chidori (One-Thousand Birds)!" Sasuke ran in at a far faster speed than Naruto had anticipated. As a quick dodge kept Sasuke from blowing his chest out Sasuke still caught him along the side, cutting him decently.

Naruto landed on the surface of the water and dropped to his knees watching the blood spilling from his wound and staining the water red. 'Damn that one was good. Why wasn't I taking this seriously? He just rattled off two attacks that did some pretty significant damage.'

Sasuke stood on the water looking over the kneeling Naruto, "Naruto I have to say, that you are my best friend." Naruto's eyes widened as Sasuke kept speaking, "That is why killing you here will be so meaningful, when you die by my hand I will obtain my greatest power yet, the power of Mangekyo Sharingan. Only by killing your closest friend can you gain the power."

Naruto began laughing as he stood up holding his side, "That is the greatest thing I've ever heard. You should tell jokes more often Sasuke you have a knack for it. That's just rich, I'm your best friend?" Naruto was laughing but was actually stalling for time, letting Kyuubi heal the majority of his serious damage, "And the thing you said about killing me… that is classic. You killing me… you really are funny teme."

Sasuke activated the first stage of his cursed seal out of anger. Naruto saw this and called on Kyuubi for a bit of her chakra, "No more bullshit. It's time to get down to business."

XxX

Kakashi and Jushiro, led by Pakkun were rushing back through the forest to catch up to Sasuke and Naruto. Jushiro looked over at Kakashi who was focused straight ahead, "Hey Kakashi, do you think those kids will be alright."

Kakashi didn't look at him, "I don't know Jushiro, they did great beating all of Orochimaru's men though, they are all strong, far stronger than their ranks signify."

Jushiro nodded as Kakashi kept speaking, "I just hope we can get there in time to keep Naruto and Sasuke from killing each other." Jushiro rubbed his nose, "Well I can't say anything about Sasuke, but for someone to kill the brat you have to damn near cut his head off. Let's get going."

Kakashi nodded, "Pakkun, we need to pick up the pace!"

XxX

Sasuke was dodging for his life at this point in time. Why you ask? Well Naruto wasn't really lying about how Sasuke was faster for the moment. When Naruto took some of Kyuubi's chakra to combat Sasuke's level one cursed form his speed got a major jump, even higher than Sasuke's.

Sasuke dodged a furious series of punches only to take a kick that sent him rolling for his troubles, 'What the hell? He's gotten so much more faster! Has he really been holding back all this time?' Sasuke looked around for his enemy who had seemingly vanished in thin air, "Where are you Naruto!"

"Right here."

Sasuke ducked a looping kick intended for his head and lashed out with a punch to counter, however before he could make contact Naruto vanished again. Sasuke growled as he strained to see Naruto even with the Sharingan activated. The demon fueled chunin kept dashing circles around Sasuke and battering him with random attacks.

Slowly Sasuke gained the ability to see his adversary's rush, first just the slipstream he would leave behind, then the afterimage, and finally he saw the entire figure, finally allowing him to fight back. The third tomoe of the Sharingan had been unlocked.

'I can see him now!' Sasuke ducked a punch from his back and delivered an elbow into Naruto's chest. Not to be deterred Naruto rushed back at Sasuke, but seeing that Sasuke was working on a counter Naruto sidestepped him and used his momentum to run up the wall of the valley. Naruto jumped off of the wall into the air to get a higher view of the battlefield.

"You're not really so fast when I can see you Naruto."

Naruto looked up to see Sasuke over him, or more appropriately, Sasuke's boot as it collided with his jaw and sent him back down to the ground. Sasuke then wrapped himself around Naruto's body and proceeded to piledrive him headfirst into the rocks surrounding the river. Naruto's body rolled into the water and floated down stream as Sasuke dropped to his knees panting in exhaustion.

Sasuke went to the water and looked at his own reflection, 'Where is the Mangekyo Sharingan? There's no way he survived that.'

"**That was mean teme… I thought we were 'friends' haha.**"

Sasuke turned to see Naruto standing on the water with a cloak of chakra surrounding him looking somewhat like a fox, "How did you survive that? Your spine should be jelly after a fall that high."

Naruto chuckled in a raspy guttural voice, "**You have your Sharingan, so just consider this my… 'gift' if you will.**" Naruto marched towards Sasuke with a fanged smirk, "**I've personally had enough of this. It's been fun and all, but like I said I've got a previous engagement with my bed and some pillows so I think I'll finish this now.**"

Sasuke smirked as the cursed seal markings spread over his body, "I see Naruto. This is what makes you so special after all… This power of yours."

Naruto growled as Sasuke's form began to change. His hair grew longer and grayish, his skin took on a darker tone, his eyes became black as did his lips, a star marking formed in the middle of his face, and hand shaped wings protruded from his back.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at Sasuke's new appearance, "**So… Those wings… Can you fly?** **Because that would be awesome.**"

Sasuke blinked for a few seconds, "I don't know. Guess I'll find out soon."

Naruto crouched low, "**How about we just finish this so we can both get on with our lives?**" Naruto formed a Rasengan in his left hand that quickly mixed with the fox's chakra to take on a reddish shell.

Sasuke formed a Chidori that took on a warped, black color and a distorted chirping noise, "Naruto! I'll show you that I'm more special than you!"

Naruto scoffed, "**You can be as special as you want to be, I'll settle for being stronger!**"

Naruto and Sasuke launched at each other, aiming their attacks. As the two attacks clashed a black orb formed around the two that expanded steadily before finally imploding.

XxX

Pakkun smelled a foul clashing of powerful attacks in the distance, "**Kakashi. There is a major struggle going on not too far from here.**"

Kakashi's eye widened, "Naruto. Sasuke. We have to go now!"

Kakashi rushed off with Jushiro following close behind.

XxX

Naruto awakened inside a crater, his chakra had gone back to normal and his body was racked with damage. Naruto groaned as he pulled himself to his feet and he slinked out of the crater, "Damn, did I lose?"

Naruto got out and limped towards a second smoking crater not far from his own. As Naruto peered over the edge he saw Sasuke, back to his own normal form and racked with injuries staring up at him. Naruto fell into the crater and crawled towards Sasuke who was unmoving. As he stood back up over Sasuke he transmuted his arm-blade and put it at his throat, "I could have killed you any time I wanted to you know. It would have been so easy, all I had to do was make this blade of mine and just cut your throat, just like now."

He put the blade close enough to draw blood, "When you couldn't see me, instead of me just punching you in the back of the head I could have planted this right through the base of your skull."

Naruto stood back up and walked out of the crater. Sasuke found it in himself to move and crawl out himself. He saw Naruto walking back in the general direction of Konoha. He called out to the blonde who stopped to listen, "Why? Why didn't you just kill me? I have to know."

Naruto sighed, "First of all if I did kill you then I would be opening the floodgates for an Orochimaru shit-storm that I would never see the end of. Apparently Iwagakure has me on its hit-list and I don't need a whole nother hidden village after my nuts."

"Second of all, if I killed you now then Sakura would never forgive me. And even though I still say you don't deserve a girl as half as devoted as her, I still won't break her heart myself by killing you, I'll leave that for you to do personally."

"Third of all like I said before, I could give a fuck less about you and what you do. Go ahead and go to the snake douche, I ain't trying to stopping you, you stopped yourself. But know this, if I ever have to deal with this shit ever again, I'm going to kill you. I'm gonna kill you fast, I'm gonna kill you clean, and it won't be a glorified spar like this just was, that I can assure you. I've got way more important things to deal with than a prima-donna genin."

Naruto kept walking away as Kakashi and Jushiro burst into the clearing. Naruto groaned, "Always late as hell eh Kakashi? I know you know how to get to the Valley of the End, no excuse, unless the road of life has side branches that go this far out."

Kakashi looked at the beat up Naruto and then at the even more beaten up Sasuke, "Sorry Naruto, I failed again."

Naruto shook his head, "Not yet you didn't, go deal with the teme, it isn't really my business. I already did the hard part."

Naruto walked over to a grinning Jushiro and collapsed on his brother's shoulder, "So brat, did you beat his ass ragged or what?"

Naruto let out a weak smile as he looked over at Kakashi picking up Sasuke, "What do you think?"

Jushiro chuckled as he and Kakashi jumped into the trees heading back towards Konoha.

A strange plant-man hybrid looking creature came from the ground, "_The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki is far more powerful than reports made him seem, I can see how that little bit of misinformation gave Itachi and Kisame such trouble._" "Yes… The leader needs to know of these events very soon."

**I'm cranking these things out because I want the formalities out of the way before I take this bitch and jerk it hard to the right. Very soon I am going to be fucking the timeline all up. Why? Because I'm writing this shit so I fucking can that's why! Random awesomeness will be happening soon, but I might have to piss some people off to get there. To those people I say this, if you still read the manga despite how angry the shit has been making me since Naruto fought with Pein, than you can take a few chapters of this, IF it actually makes you angry.**

**It's like a disease, my awesomeness. But God help me I don't want the penicillin!**

**Kenchi out!**


	34. Homefront Shenanigans

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. The day that I do is the day that you all find out because I will write a fanfiction that will only consist of me pasting and copying a copy of the contract stating my ownership of said manga, I would get a hell of a lot of reviews based off of the sheer amount of people it would piss off, but alas, this is all speculation… A man can dream though.

**Chapter 34: Home-front Shenanigans**

"Bored, bored, bored, bored…"

Half a week after the fight with Sasuke at the Valley of the End found Naruto laying down in his hospital bed staring up at the ceiling, "Damn it I can't take this anymore!" Naruto's attention was diverted by a click as the door to his hospital room opened up to reveal Shizune.

Shizune walked over to Naruto's bed and gave him a smile, "Well after reading your medical records I'm surprised you stayed here so long this time. I expected you to be gone three days ago."

Naruto gave her a dry look before lifting his legs, revealing he had been chained to the bedframe, "I have been chained up for two freaking days with nothing to do other than count the goddamn freckles on the ceiling. You want to know how many there are? 45,603. Trust me I know, I've only taken a recount about 27 times already."

Shizune came over to him with glowing hands to check his body, "Well Tsunade-sama knew you would try to escape I guess, so she must have thought this over."

Naruto chuckled as Shizune gave him a confused look, "Oh Shizune-neechan, she didn't foresee it, She already fucking chased me down and threw me back in here when I ran for it the first day after I was admitted."

Shizune sweat-dropped, "You ran away and she caught you?"

Naruto nodded, "Yep, I made it home too, but she kicked my front door in and grabbed me. Poor Big Boss, had to fix the door again… It's like my front door is cursed or something. Though I don't know why she bothered to chain me up." He lifted his leg, "I could just make a transmutation and get out of here again."

Tsunade chose that moment to walk into the room. Naruto stared her down with a perturbed look on his face. Tsunade ignored it and smiled at the boy, "So Naruto are you feeling better today?"

Naruto kept his glare on her, "I was feeling better 3 days ago, the teme didn't hurt me that bad. He just gaffed my side a bit, a little flesh wound."

Tsunade gave a disbelieving snort, "A little flesh wound? He was just short of cutting out your kidney with that damn Chidori. I was surprised you woke up so soon after Jushiro brought you here."

Naruto kept his eyes locked on her as Shizune continued her scan, "And you owe me about 500 ryo by the way."

Tsunade did a double-take, "What in the world for?"

Naruto sneered, "You kicked in my front door and sent it sailing through my apartment, Big Boss said you kicked it so hard it flew down the hall and took out the door to my bedroom."

Tsunade got in his face, "You shouldn't have tried to leave the hospital so soon brat."

Naruto gave her a dry look, "Well then why did you turn to the side and kick my living room closet door in after you got inside? Explain that."

Tsunade blushed slightly, "Well I was still fired up from the chase and just kicking in one door wasn't enough."

Naruto crossed his arms on his bed, "And minor property damage is the answer to getting me back here? You could have gotten Big Boss or Haku-chan, or even Zabuza to drag me back…" Naruto thought for a moment, "Actually nevermind Zabuza, he probably would have been worse about it than you."

Tsunade smiled and ruffled his hair, "Be good brat, I'll see you later."

Naruto growled as Tsunade left the room, "Hey damn it! Can you at least unchain me first! These braces are cutting off circulation to my foot! My left leg has gangrene for Kami's sake!"

Shizune chuckled and pulled out a key to unshackle him from the bed, "You're as healthy as you're going to get in here Naruto-kun, you can leave now."

Naruto grinned and swung his feet off of the bed to stand, stumbling slightly before running over to his clothes. Shizune giggled at the frantic sight as she left the room.

XxX

Naruto walked up the stairs to get back to his apartment, "Well they wouldn't let me in to see the teme, that's probably good though, because I was gonna gloat, and brag, and get under his skin so bad…"

Naruto walked in the house all alone and went to his room to lay down. Naruto shut his eyes, but a shift in the atmosphere of the room got him to open his eyes. Naruto's cerulean orbs opened to see Jiraiya standing over him with a grin, "How are you doing gaki?"

Naruto yawned and sat up, "Ero-sennin… I was wondering when you'd show up." Naruto broke out in a grin, "So say it…" Jiraiya frowned and Naruto kept pressing, "Say it, say what I want to hear!"

Jiraiya sighed, "You're the man kid…"

Naruto snickered, "I already knew ero-sennin."

Jiraiya sat down on the desk chair in Naruto's room, "Kid I need to tell you something." Naruto put his hands in his lap and motioned for Jiraiya to continue. Jiraiya opened his mouth but after a few seconds he just sighed and ran his hand through his hair, 'Damn it this is going to be tough… I wish I had more time to tell him…'

As if he realized something, Jiraiya perked up and smirked at Naruto, "Gaki you and me are going on a little trip."

Naruto groaned and fell back in his bed, "Damn ero-sennin, I just got back from Resembool and before that I just found Tsunade-baachan. Can I get some rest? Damn!"

Jiraiya chuckled, "Naruto you know about the Akatsuki right?" Naruto nodded, "They stopped actively pursuing the Biju for roughly three years. You have three years to get to the level of ninja the caliber of Itachi Uchiha."

Naruto smiled, "So you're going to whip my ass into shape right?"

Jiraiya grinned, "You've got it kid, I've got up to three years to make a real ninja out of you." The boisterous man then turned serious, "You not only have Akatsuki to worry about boy. Orochimaru by now knows that you were the one that kept the Uchiha kid out of his hands."

Naruto grumbled, "It wasn't my choice, if the dumbass wanted to go and get molested then I was going to let him. He attacked me and I just kicked his ass."

Jiraiya stifled a chuckle, "Nonetheless, you're on his hit list now and unlike Akatsuki he'll probably be thinking of some way to get you as we speak."

Naruto scoffed, "Fuck that slithering, pasty-faced teme. If he wants some he can come and get some too. I've got more problems than him, apparently I'm on the shit-list of one of the 5 great nations."

Jiraiya gave him a curious look, "You are? Which one? And what the hell did you do?"

Naruto rolled his right shoulder, "Iwagakure, the Tsuchikage called for me to be kidnapped by some girl back in Resembool when I was getting my auto-mail adjusted, the bitch tried to take me out while I had only one arm and still couldn't beat me."

Jiraiya paled while Naruto kept talking, "It's weird, what did I even do to get on their bad side anyway? I didn't fight or even see a single Iwa nin during the chunin exam, hell I've never even caught sight of an Iwa nin before the kidnapping attempt."

Jiraiya wiped sweat from his brow, 'It started already? Does that old crone know already? I can't keep putting it off, I have to tell him soon. He at least needs to know why he's being targeted.'

Jiraiya gave Naruto a hard look, "I think I can tell you why they want you kid, but it has to wait until we're on the road. It's something of a big deal."

Naruto flopped back on his bed, "Whatever you say ero-sennin, I trust you. It's not like you've hidden anything big from me thus far so why not?"

Jiraiya gulped, "Yeah kid, you've got it." Jiraiya stood up, "Well you have a week to prepare, get all of the things you need for three years, tell all of your brat friends and get yourself pumped up kid. The toad sage is taking you on as his official pupil! It's time to make a man out of you… mostly."

Naruto sat back up, "Mostly?"

Jiraiya took on a lecherous grin, "Yeah, we still have to get you laid brat, but don't worry about that, I'll handle that on the trip."

Naruto growled at the white-haired old man, "I don't need your help to do that ero-sennin, I've got game!"

Jiraiya snorted, "Whatever gaki. Keep telling yourself that."

Naruto flipped Jiraiya off, "I bet I get some before you get any from baachan since that obviously is your main aim. Hell, I probably won't even have to try."

Jiraiya got into Naruto's face, "Is that a bet gaki?"

Naruto grinned, "You've got it, in the three years we are gone you have to come up with a sure-fire way to get baachan to sleep with you and openly admit it or obtain legitimate proof, when we get back I will give you two months to enact your final plan. On the flipside I myself have to get laid and I can't actively pursue any women myself. They have to initiate final contact. Oh, and the girl has to be hot, I'm a fair man."

Jiraiya nodded, "Hookers and girls in brothels and the like don't count."

Naruto snickered, "I know, if I win you have to come back and publicly admit to the entire city via widespread mandatory gathering that Naruto Uzumaki is twice the man you'll ever be, and is a damn handsome bastard with unbreakable game, feel free to ad-lib and be original with my awesomeness as long as you get the point across, you have to set up a running tab for me at Ichiraku Ramen and you have to continuously pump funds into it, and I'll think of other things to add in during the three years so we both reserve the right to up the stakes at any time."

Jiraiya grinned, "If I win you have to come with me on any research sessions I ask you to, when I get caught you have to stay behind and take the heat for me, you have to drop the ero-sennin crap for good, You have to give a public statement proclaiming the greatness of Jiraiya and I write your speech, you have to help me edit my novels, and you have to let me hook you up upon our return with any girl I want, no questions asked."

Naruto rubbed his chin in thought, "Those are some pretty high stakes…"

Jiraiya stood smugly, "I play hard kid, take it or leave it."

Naruto nodded, "As long as the stakes are adjustable like I said then fine, let's do it, you're on. What happens if we draw?"

Jiraiya thought for a moment, "We each acknowledge the other's manliness and we both have a hell a story to tell to get other guys jealous for years to come."

Naruto nodded, "I like that… Now get out of my room so I can sleep, I'm tired and I haven't slept in my own bed in three weeks."

Jiraiya jumped out of Naruto's window leaving the blonde jinchuuriki alone in his room.

XxX

Sasuke was strapped to his hospital bed with his eyes and overall chakra sealed as he stared at the ceiling of his room, 'Bored, bored, bored, bored…'

The door to his room was opened, as Sasuke turned his head to look at the arrival. The gravity defying grey hair was the tell-tale sign of only one man, Kakashi Hatake. Kakashi sat in a chair near Sasuke's bed, "So Sasuke, I assume Sakura has been here already."

Sasuke nodded while still facing the ceiling. Kakashi nodded also, "I expected as much, Naruto did say that girl was too dedicated to the wrong thing." Kakashi pulled out his Icha-Icha book and began reading. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Kakashi spoke again, "I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Naruto beat the hell out of you didn't he?"

Sasuke's eye twitched before he spoke the first words since his return to Konoha, "I was going all out. I was really trying to kill him Kakashi, I know it sounds horrible but I was. I could swear I broke his neck at one point. Naruto, he just walked through everything I threw at him. He wasn't even fighting to kill, just to incapacitate me."

Sasuke turned his neck to look at Kakashi, "I thought I would have to leave Konoha to get strength like that, but Naruto he has so much power. He doesn't have any hatred, he's just strong."

Kakashi closed his book, "Naruto is strong because he was behind the pack from the start and clawed his way up. By way of growth he has grown more than any genin your age, actually more than any genin, period, even I think fighting him would be a challenge now. He started basically at the bottom, and now he's the only chunin your age. You started at the top, people fought to train you after the massacre, you couldn't be given enough time to be taught. You were given power, Naruto worked for his, and it stunted you that way."

Sasuke looked confused, "How did being given power stunt my growth? I don't get it."

Kakashi lifted his hitae-ate and showed Sasuke his Sharingan eye, "You were given it all, if there was something you couldn't do then the instructors at the academy fell all over themselves making sure you were great by the time they were done. You took it as your right that people were to just give you your power, and it only got worse after you awakened your Sharingan."

Kakashi put his headband back down, "After that anything you saw used in combat you could keep for yourself, I'm amazed and actually impressed Naruto got his jutsus up to snuff to the point where you couldn't copy his handsigns. Do you know how he did that?" Kakashi asked hypothetically, "He trained, hard, everyday. Every day I was with you after our team meetings giving you jutsus and Sharingan training Naruto went home and worked himself into the ground, He developed ways to utilize his alchemy in battle, developed taijutsu combinations, he even got his Kage Bunshin and Fuuton: Daitoppa up to the point where he didn't need hand-signs to get them to work."

Sasuke's eyes widened as Kakashi continued, "You are behind him because your primary training and your Kekkei Genkai blinded you to what it takes to gain strength, Naruto beat Neji Hyuuga and you, two 'geniuses' that were not supposed to be in his league, he beat Sabaku no Gaara in pitched combat twice, in his half and full demon forms, do you know how he carried these feats out?"

Kakashi didn't wait for an answer, "He worked until he earned the power it took to defeat them and you, he never rested on his laurels, you, Neji, and Gaara relied solely on the power you were given seemingly at birth. Neji used only his Jyuuken and relied on the Byakugan as his sole point of his attack, never bothering to use anything else or even try paying attention to his peers as he claimed his natural strength was just fated to be his. Gaara used his sand as an automatic defense and when that wasn't enough he went to unleashing his inner demon on his enemies."

Kakashi pointed at Sasuke, "You, you constantly put yourself above both of your teammates, you were talented, damn talented and you could have helped each other, Naruto helped Sakura in wave. After she did the tree-climbing exercise he taught her water-walking, he helped his teammate, he gave to someone that needed the help. You demanded his attacks, his secret techniques, not his training methods, not his chakra control exercises that could have benefitted more in the long run, you just wanted his attacks, demanding that he teach you his skills just because you were an Uchiha."

Sasuke gulped a lump that had formed in his throat. Kakashi saw this and kept speaking, "I don't really blame him for wanting to get away from Team 7 as fast as he could, he fought like he was fighting for his freedom during the chunin exams. I did nothing for him and both of his teammates couldn't stand him. If it weren't for Sakura he might have broken his ties completely and that would have been a shame, I owe that boy, not only for bringing you back, but for dealing with me, with all of us."

Kakashi stood up and walked over to the door to leave. Before opening the door he gave Sasuke one last glance, "I hope you know exactly how lucky you are, that you were stopped from leaving, but also that Naruto chose to keep you alive, you have a chance to make up for past mistakes and now you can find out just what real strength is."

Sasuke stared at the ceiling once again as Kakashi shut the door. Sasuke's thoughts had much to mull over these days, 'Maybe Kakashi and Naruto are right. I guess we'll find out won't we?'

XxX

The following week had Naruto wrap up the loose ends he had in the village before leaving. The boy attempted to take Hinata out on the date he promised her, but was stopped at his attempts by Hiashi, who wanted Hinata to 'come more of age' before Naruto began actively dating her. This didn't stop the manic blonde from finding ways to sneak into her room, somehow avoiding the Hyuuga sentries all over the compound.

This showing of his vastly underrated stealth/prank skills had Hiashi almost frothing at the mouth, forcing Naruto to beat hasty, frantic, half-assed retreats upon his discovery. Branch members took a lot of mirth from watching Hiashi, or any other main member in hot pursuit of the elusive jinchuuriki, the branch family and their ever stoic mask of indifference had been forced to crack smiles at watching the composed Hyuuga family break down into swearing wrecks every time Naruto not only snuck in and maneuvered around every guard patrol and rotation to get to the room of the heiress, but also when he would inevitably break out in a rapid sprint across the property to the sanctuary of the outside gate… usually two or three times a day.

Naruto had visited his friends in the hospital. The order of his visits were sitting and shooting the breeze with Kiba for a few hours while playing with the recovering Akamaru, riling up Neji with the stories of just what he and Neji's cousin Hinata were about to get up to before being discovered and watching him freak out and try to attack while wounded and unable to give chase to the cackling ninja, Hanging out with Chouji and Shikamaru in Choji's room and getting his ass handed to him in shogi. And eventually going to Sasuke, who had Sakura sitting by his side and giving him some good old-fashioned gloating treatment, mostly of the 'I beat your ass ragged' variety, Sasuke surprisingly took it all in stride claiming that he'd rematch him when he got back to Konoha.

This made Naruto smile widely, 'Maybe the teme isn't as far-gone as I had thought…' Naruto told him whenever he was ready, but he'd better train hard.

Eventually however, the week came to an end, and with it Naruto had to take his leave for three years.

Jiraiya and Naruto left to no fanfare as he hadn't really wanted to have been seen off by anyone, even Jushiro, he hadn't even woken him up… mostly because he was probably with Haku, and walking in on his brother and future sister-in-law naked wasn't really high on his to do list… Haku maybe, not Jushiro, hell no.

Jiraiya looked over at his young charge as the gates of Konohagakure no Sato were shrinking from sight, "You ready gaki? This is going to be some rough stuff you know."

Naruto shifted the pack on his back, "Do I have a choice? Douchebags like Itachi Uchiha and Orochimaru want me dead and Kyuubi-chan and her more 'destructive' gifts can't really be harnessed in Konoha so I have to go."

Naruto grinned as he looked over his shoulder to the gate, "But, it's going to be a blast when I get back…"

**I have no smarmy, smart-ass remarks for this chapter, help a brotha out and review… Stroke my ego, it needs it… badly. Review… or I'll find you… Mapquest is a muthaf'er, don't test me!**

**Let me know how I'm doing, what is good, what sucks, etc. Feedback is awesome.**

**Later days, Kenchi out.**


	35. On The Road Again

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If you want to own one of them then I have devised a theory, simply run headfirst into your nearest brick wall at full speed repeatedly and repeat the process until you get enough brain damage that you can fool yourself into believing that you own them. Apparently it feels good, if you can ignore the massive brain and spinal trauma this will more than likely give you, but hey, no pain no gain.

**Chapter 35: On The Road… Again.**

(Three Weeks After Departure From Konohagakure)

Jiraiya and Naruto had exited the border of Hi no Kuni and had eventually come to a major intersection of roads. For the majority of the time Jiraiya had been trying to divert the attention of Naruto, who was curious seeing as how he remembered Jiraiya's words in his apartment about important information. Fortunately for the white-haired man who wasn't too fond of awkward explanations, distractions often came up to divert his attention.

Jiraiya had to hold him off just long enough for the first part of his training to begin. As they reached the point in the road that broke off in several different directions Jiraiya grinned as he knew the first part had begun, "Okay gaki, time for the first part of your training."

Naruto grinned up at the massive man, "Finally! You haven't taught me a damn thing since we left, all I've been doing is going over my notes and experimenting to make my alchemy stronger, I could have done that back in Konoha."

Jiraiya sweat-dropped as Naruto started to bounce around, "So ero-sennin, what are you going to teach me? The swamp thing? Or maybe the needle thing with your hair, that was pretty cool."

Jiraiya fished in his vest and pulled out a rolled up piece of paper, "I'm going to teach you a very important skill that all powerful shinobi must have, the skill of survival."

Naruto squinted his eyes, "Say what? Survival? I can do that already, we learned that back in the academy."

Jiraiya shook his head with a smirk, "But not like this, your first task will be to survive in the open field for… what's a good period of time? …Six months."

Naruto gave Jiraiya a dry look, "Could you repeat that… because I think my brain just stroked off for a second. Did you just say that you would be leaving me alone for half-a-fucking year?"

Jiraiya grinned, "Yep, go anywhere you want, do whatever you want, I don't care. Just survive for six months and wherever you are I'll find you, I guarantee it. After the time is over I can find you in two weeks or less."

Naruto growled, "What does leaving me on my own have to do with training!" Jiraiya took on a scholarly pose, "Kid you can't have people teaching you all the time, no one is going to be watching your back all the time. You know how to work in a group, well now you need to learn how to depend on number one, yourself."

Jiraiya knelt down and put a hand on Naruto, "You have to know how to pass country borders, how to move in hostile environments, how to keep yourself fed and housed on long missions and engagements, this is very important so we're doing this first… I also don't want to be looking for you for two months after we need to be back in Konoha so we're doing this first."

Naruto whined but a glare from Jiraiya silenced him, "This is two-fold, you need to do this and I need to go meet up with my spy network contacts. When we travel after this I'll introduce you to them so maybe they can be your contacts one day." Naruto still looked angry as Jiraiya tried placating him, "Hey my original plan was to just give you the introduction to simply make a giant Rasengan."

Naruto snorted, "That's kind of stupid. So do I stay in Hi no Kuni or can I leave?"

Jiraiya grinned at the boy, "That's the thing, you can go wherever you want, anywhere. I would actually prefer it if you left Hi no Kuni, go somewhere new, learn the landscape of the elemental nations."

Naruto shot him a smug grin, "Are you sure you want me to ero-sennin? The further away from Hi no Kuni I get the more likely my natural awesome charms are to woo some female. If I leave then consider my side of the bet won."

Jiraiya returned his look, "Well then get moving brat… and don't follow me."

Naruto shrugged, "I don't care which way I go." Naruto pulled out his hitae-ate and put it over his eyes, "You pick which way I go ero-sennin, I won't look until I'm an hour down the road so be crafty with it."

Jiraiya spun Naruto in a circle several times before sending him down a random road. Jiraiya yelled out as the blinded blonde jinchuuriki stumbled down the highway, "Watch your back gaki, I'll be keeping tabs on you, you'd better not die or Tsunade will kill you!"

A dot on the horizon, Naruto yelled back, "Fuck you ero-sennin, I'm going to kick you in your scrote for this crap when I see you again!"

Jiraiya chuckled to himself as he turned down another path, "He'll be fine, six months… What could he possibly get into in six months?"

Jiraiya has seemingly forgotten rule number one of dealing with anything involving Naruto Uzumaki; Murphy's Law is absolute.

XxX

(Some… random place in the middle of the ocean, off the coast of Mizu no Kuni. 2 weeks later.)

Naruto, in an effort to expand his horizons decided that he would see Mizu no Kuni, the island nation. He had chosen this place first on his forced excursion because… he didn't know. His gut told him to head towards Mizu no Kuni first, and when a random attitude should prevail Naruto always followed his gut.

And so Naruto caught a barge heading from a coastal town in Hi no Kuni and had spent the last three days crossing the ocean to make it to the main island of Mizu no Kuni. As the sight of land came into view Naruto couldn't have been happier, being on a boat for three days, sick as a dog, was not Naruto's idea of excitement and a productive use of his time. As the barge landed Naruto leapt off of the deck of the ship and landed on the pier, almost kissing the planks in relief.

Naruto got over his bout with the seas and headed far inland, 'I wonder if I should head to Kiri? As long as I hide my headband I should be okay right? And even if I had it on Kiri doesn't have any grandstanding issues with Konoha do they?'

Naruto pondered this as he walked further and further into the main island of the country. Naruto took note of the differences between Mizu no Kuni and Hi no Kuni; instead of trees and sun Mizu no Kuni was pretty dreary. It had trees yes, but the further in he went the more the clouds would cast in front of the sun, eventually patches of fog would be seen over a lot of the landscape, and the further in he went the harder it was to navigate the forests that he found himself in.

Naruto had eventually been walking around in the woods for two days and had taken a rest at a fallen tree, "Okay, so I guess 'Village Hidden in the Mist' is a good name for this place…" Naruto whipped out the map Jiraiya gave him before a sigh left his mouth, "A whole lot of good this will do after I got lost, *sigh* I'm an idiot."

Naruto heard crashing sounds off in the distance and stood as he prepared for a fight. Naruto pinpointed the sounds and ran off to investigate.

XxX

An orange-haired boy with glasses sat hiding in the mist checking the wounds across his torso. A decent length gash across his chest was bleeding down his body. The boy grimaced as he kept his search up for assailants.

As his eyes darted through the misty forest he thought frantically, 'Why did she send me out here with that squad? I'm not fit to lead anyone! I'm going to die in this forest!'

The boy felt a cold twinge on his shoulder as he jumped and turned to see a blonde with a confused expression holding out his right arm, "Whoa! Hey calm down, what's going on around here? It reeks of blood."

The boy pulled him to the ground, "My entire squad was wiped out by anti-blood limit forces, we never had a chance."

Naruto lifted and eye-brow in confusion, "Wait, Kiri is _still_ on that anti-blood limit kick?"

The boy nodded before he noticed the metal arm, "Is that a kekkei genkai?"

Naruto looked at his arm, "Um, no. It's just auto-mail, a prosthetic limb only kicked up to the max."

Naruto looked at his wounds, 'Haku-chan said this crap was going on back when she was a kid. They still do this?' Naruto picked him up by his arm and steadied him, "Hey let's get you out of here alright? You're looking pretty beat up. Where's your base at?"

The boy was hesitant to answer until it dawned on Naruto, 'Of course he doesn't trust me, he's at war with a genocidal force. I wouldn't trust me either.' Naruto held out his hands in a placating manner, "Hey I'm not even from this country, I'm from Konoha."

Naruto pulled his hitae-ate out for proof as the boy looked confused, "What is a Konoha ninja doing all the way out here?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "I'm kind of on a long trip, I was just passing through and would you believe your luck when I stumbled across you." Naruto heard rustling in the distance, "Kid we've got to get moving, your enemies are on our heels."

The orange-haired boy looked conflicted for a moment before relenting, 'Whatever, I'm going to die anyway, and if this guy does attack the base then he can't win alone.' He sighed and pointed in a direction as Naruto took off after picking him up fireman's style.

XxX

The boy calmed after seeing familiar landmarks, "We're getting close to the hideout."

Naruto looked over his shoulder and cursed, "Can you make it the rest of the way alone?" The orange-haired boy nodded as Naruto stopped to let him stand, "Get to your hideout, I'll fight these guys off, we can't lead them to your group. I'll try to stop them here."

The boy looked upset, "Why are you doing this? I don't even know your name."

Naruto looked ahead in the direction of the pursuers, "Because I want to, I think it's the right thing to do… and my name is Naruto Uzumaki. Now get out of here."

The boy smiled and ran off towards his base as Naruto sighed, "'Because it's the right thing to do.' I'm so dumb, this isn't my fight."

Four Kiri ninja landed in front of him as one with his hitae-ate on a bandana spoke up, "We trade in one pipsqueak for another? Are runts like you all that those stupid rebels can come with these days?"

Another bald one spoke up, "Let's just step on this little pest and keep searching."

A tick mark appeared on Naruto's head, "Oh yeah, now it's my fight."

They took notice of the auto-mail arm, "Look at that kid's arm! He has a new metal kekkai genkai! Take him out now!"

Naruto grunted, "It's not a damn-!" A barrage of kunai and shuriken flew at him before he could finish his statement as he began bouncing around the forest floor dodging projectiles.

Naruto made several Kage Bunshin and spread them out along the trees amid the battlefield along with himself. Naruto surrounded the Kiri ninja with his clones while staying hidden as they searched for any sign of him, "That damn brat! Find him and kill him now!"

CLAP

The Kiri nin all jumped out of the way as an assortment of wooden spears came soaring from the forest. The bandana one, seemingly the leader growled, "Where are you you little shit?"

"Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!"

The leader dodged as did two others, but one was caught in the attack and was smashed through multiple trees before crashing to a halt against one of the trees. The man's chest was caved in as he wheezed and spit blood from his mouth before slumping over, dead.

The bald man went wide-eyed at the sight, "The little freak just killed Takeshi!"

The bandana-wearing man bit his fist, "Shut up and calm down, he's just one kid, don't cluster up! Find him and kill him now!"

"You can try." Naruto's voice rang out from many different areas in the trees, "Leave now and I won't have to kill the rest of you."

One of the underlings got brash, "It's still three on one kid! You and the rest of the demon spawn bloodline users need to die! Our country is better off without you!"

Naruto's chuckles echoed through the forest, "I'm not from Kiri, I'm just passing through."

The bald ninja shouted back out, "Then why are you here? What could you possibly want with us?"

"Honestly… nothing. But you tried to kill a guy fighting against prejudiced pricks like you. What kind of man would I be to let him just die? …That and you fuckers called me short, I'm a kid, I still have to hit my growth spurt you bastards."

CLAP

Two large earth hands came from the ground and tried to crush the three ninja who were together, but they all moved and leapt into the trees.

The underling ninja found himself surrounded by half a dozen of Naruto's clones and was dog-piled before they all shouted 'boom' and detonated Bunshin Daibakuha (Clone Great Explosion).

The remaining Kiri ninja ended up engaging masses of Kage Bunshin in the trees, one after another. The bald Kiri nin yelled in anger, "How many stupid clones do we have to cut through before we get the real one?"

"I'm not as easy to beat as a Bunshin."

The bald ninja ducked as Naruto slashed at the back of his head with his blade arm. The man kicked him back and pulled out a kunai to begin engaging him up close, "So the real one finally shows himself."

Naruto was pushed back by the larger man and blocked a strike from him before pushing him back himself, "You should have been grateful to keep fighting clones… they're not even a fraction of my own power."

Naruto pushed close enough to headbutt the man across the face, breaking his nose. Naruto stepped back as the man swung wildly, "You little fucking brat! I'll rip your throat out!"

Naruto kept out of his range as he kept swinging, "Not fighting like that you aren't."

Naruto was suddenly lashed across the back by the bandana ninja, cutting through his clothing and drawing blood. Naruto shouted in pain before turning around to face his newly arrived enemy who had a satisfied smirk on his face, "You've been doing very well for a brat. But the game is over, you die here."

Naruto sharply inhaled as the uncomfortable wound on his back began to bleed, "Oh man, what the hell was that! That fucking hurt!"

The bandana wearing ninja grinned as he snapped a whip made of water around himself, "Kid when you get good enough to manipulate elemental chakra like me, there isn't a whole lot that you can't form with your element."

Naruto deadpanned a look, "A water element in Kirikagure… wow… how original. You are unique sir."

The man didn't take too kindly to that, "Are you mocking me kid?"

Naruto replied sarcastically, "No of course not. I mean that must be a very rare element to have in a country named for WATER."

Naruto dodged an attack from behind from the bald man, "Gedo let's waste this punk already, he broke my nose!"

Naruto faced both men and stared them down, 'That guy better have gotten away, this isn't my problem but they're making it my problem. When this is over I'm getting the hell out of Mizu no Kuni I swear to Kami.'

Naruto flexed his fingers in anticipation, "And then there were two… You know you can still leave me alone, I don't even want to be in this country."

The bandana ninja, identified as Gedo chuckled, "Yeah you're pretty good, but we're chunin in Kiri's extermination squads, hunting down solo ninja like you is our job."

Naruto flipped them both off, "Well exterminate this…"

**And that's a wrap, as you can see Naruto will be having a little whirlwing journey for a short while. Why you may ask? Well as far as I know all Jiraiya did during the 2 ½ years he trained Naruto was teach him Odama Rasengan, and how to tap into the Kyuubi's chakra better. Well in this story Naruto can already use the Kyuubi's chakra decently and he can form Rasengan one handed already. I just figured my way made sense and left the door open for some creative shenanigans.**

**There is a point to the survival arc, a good one, but it won't be very clear for a while which is what I want after all. Final exam week is on deck, I will have a shitload more free time after this so whoopdee-deezer.**

**Apologies for the short chapter, that isn't my style, but I didn't want the whole thing in one chapter so… yeah.**

**Time to write my final exam paper, Kenchi out. **

**Drop the kid a review and let me know what you're feeling it's all good.**


	36. Alchemist in the Mist

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did I would change my name to Momoney Danyuu. Until you see that name somewhere I don't own either and I probably never will.

**Chapter 36: Alchemist in the Mist**

'This is bullshit!' Naruto dodged his assailant's attack with his water whip once more. Naruto formed his favorite hand-sign and spawned a gaggle of Kage Bunshin that circled him and tried to get in close.

The bandana wearing Kiri nin just laughed as he proceeded to slay Naruto's bunshin, "One jutsu isn't going to be enough kid! Look out behind you now!"

Naruto turned to get a kick in the face from the bald ninja that sent him flying into a tree, "Haha! He isn't so tough Gedo! If you lure him out he's nothing special at all!"

Naruto spit blood on the ground as he rose to a kneel, "It _was_ a four-on-one fight before wasn't it? And it's still two-on-one. But I've got a plan"

Naruto clapped and placed his hands on the ground as a wall rose in front of him. The bald Kiri nin flew through hand signs, "Oh no you don't you brat! Suiton: Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Release: Liquid Bullet Jutsu)!" As the bullet crumbled the wall Naruto was nowhere in sight.

Gedo scanned the area as did his bald partner, "Mappi, keep your eyes open. He killed two of us already by fighting like this."

The bald man, now known as Mappi grinned smugly back up at Gedo, "It doesn't matter, the second he shows himself he's dead, he can't take us head-to-head and he knows it."

CLAP

Hands rose from the ground, grasping Mappi around his body and holding him tightly. Mappi yelled out in surprise, "Ahh Gedo, get me out! Get me out now!"

Gedo cursed under his breath, "Damn it Mappi, I'm coming!" As Gedo reformed his water whip he found himself flying through the air, crashing into a tree before slumping dead, his neck at an unnatural angle.

Mappi's eyes widened as he watched his partner die in front of him. As another clap rang out a hole in the ground in front of him opened up as Naruto climbed out, "That was a stupid idea… There was no air down there."

Mappi shivered under the gaze of the blonde boy until Naruto looked over where Gedo's corpse lay, "Who did that? It damn sure wasn't me."

"Hey Naruto!"

The orange haired boy from earlier walked up carrying a massive hammer, "Sorry, I didn't want to leave you like that but I'm useless without my sword. I was just out for reconnaissance, I wasn't expecting a fight."

Naruto looked confused, "Sword? Um, that's a hammer."

The boy grinned as the massive hammer transformed into its basic sword form, "I can turn my sword into any handled weapon I want. Cool huh?"

Naruto grinned right back at him, "Hell yeah it is."

Naruto turned back to the captured Mappi, "So what do you want to do with him?"

The boy looked around in the trees, "Ao-san you can come out now!"

A man with brown hair and one eye covered with an eye-patch came from the trees and appeared next to the two boys, "How do you go about leaving your weapon at base Chojiro? In my day if you called yourself a shinobi you wouldn't make rookie mistakes like that."

Chojiro rubbed the back of his head apologetically, "I'm sorry Ao-san. My mistake, I got my squad killed because of my own negligence."

The two turned to look at Naruto who was still staring at Mappi, "So what do I do with this guy? Seriously."

Ao spared Mappi a cold glance, "He killed our comrades one by one and only left Chojiro, put him out of my misery."

Naruto nodded and clapped as he placed his hands on the ground, drawing the hands holding Mappi back into the ground, "NO! NO WAIT PLEASE! ST-…"

Naruto dusted his hands off and turned back to Ao and Chojiro, "So, Chojiro was it? Glad you're all right, I've got to go get the hell out of this country, this place is crazy."

Chojiro ran up to Naruto, "But Naruto! You saved my life, you can come back with us to camp, our leader would certainly reward you for your help today."

Naruto waved him off, "Yeah maybe, but the longer I stay I think the harder it will be to actually leave."

Ao looked at Naruto, "Where will you go boy? Do you have somewhere you need to be?"

Naruto shook his head, "I'm kind of wandering for six months, I go where I want."

Ao and Chojiro grabbed Naruto by his arms and began walking, "H-Hey, what are you guys doing?"

Ao grinned at Naruto, "Well since you aren't in a rush to be anywhere you can come and get yourself a reward now can't you?"

Naruto struggled for a moment before sighing and accepting his fate, "Fine, but if you guys are going to try and kill me I'm going to flip the fuck out and burn your camp to the ground! Don't fuck with me."

Chojiro chuckled, "I wouldn't dream of it Naruto."

XxX

The trio walked up to the wall of a mountain. Ao made a secret sequence of hand-signs, "Kai!" A part of the wall faded away revealing a slit big enough for a few people to fit through. Naruto blinked before following Ao and Chojiro through the hole

Eventually they came across an encampment of tents and makeshift buildings. Naruto looked around and spoke up, "So I'm guessing this is your base."

Naruto noticed the amount of women and children in the base. While there was a good amount of ninja to fight it was clear that they had brought their families along for either safety or out of fear of reprisal from the Mizukage.

Ao nodded, "Naruto you are looking at the main base for Kiri's rebel forces.

Naruto followed his two escorts into the base. As they walked Naruto felt curious, "I know someone that got away from Kiri's bloodline purges way back in the day. Just how long has this been going on for?"

Ao sighed as he looked at the state of the camp along with Naruto, "If you could believe it, this has been going on for eight years kid."

Naruto's eyes widened, "Eight years? Seriously?"

Chojiro nodded, "They were fighting this war way before I ever even became a ninja."

Naruto found himself confused, "Wait, Kirigakure's finances must be shot straight to hell then. Because they're on an island nation fighting a civil war."

Ao nodded, "You've got it kid. This irrational hatred of kekkei genkai has debted Kiri down quite a bit I would imagine. All of that means no missions for years, which means no income. If we win the war, we'll have a lot of rebuilding to do."

Ao noticed Naruto's gaze on a young family in front of a tent, mother watching as her sons wrestled on the ground, "A lot of the kids here were born into this… Their fathers were or still are rebel soldiers and their families have nowhere to go. Others are families with bloodlines and they came to fight to protect their families."

Naruto clinched his fists, 'This is terrible, but it isn't my problem. I need to get my reward and high-tail it the hell out of Mizu no Kuni.'

They brought Naruto to a hollowed out wall in the cave. As they went inside it appeared to be pretty well-furbished. Ao leaned over to Naruto, "Naruto, just so you know, our leader is kind of… different."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Different? Different how? That was vague." Naruto turned to Chojiro, "So what is this person like Chojiro?"

Chojiro took on a longing look, "The leader is wonderful Naruto, such a great person." Naruto deadpanned a look, 'Okay these guys are useless…'

Ao took Naruto to a pair of heavy doors guarded by two men. The men nodded allowing them entrance. Ao opened the door, "Mei-sama, I'm here with Chojiro and a tag-along we picked up."

As they entered the room Naruto took notice of a beautiful woman with long reddish-brown hair with part of it tied up, she had one bang covering one of her green eyes. She had on a blue dress cut low on her shoulders, it was clear to the blonde boy that she had very generous _assets_. The woman smiled at their entrance as she looked over Naruto, "Now Ao, who is this young man you've brought to me?"

Naruto answered the question eloquently, "Uhbluh."

Ao stepped forward, "Mei-sama this is Naruto, he came across Chojiro in the forest after his squad was wiped out by the extermination squads and fought them off for him until he could get me from the entrance of our hideout and return."

Mei smiled at Naruto, "You helped my Chojiro out did you Naruto-kun?"

Naruto answered emphatically, "Uhkshah."

Mei laughed slightly and looked at Chojiro who was looking at the ground, "Chojiro-kun, you made a mistake. Many leaders make mistakes. In this life you have to be in situations that end up with people dead. All you can do is learn from it and be ready next time to handle your responsibilities okay?"

Chojiro smiled gratefully and kept his gaze low as he nodded. Naruto looked at Chojiro and nodded smiling approvingly, 'Chojiro was right, she is a good person.'

Ao scoffed, "Chojiro you need some backbone boy. Why in my day a shinobi was ready for anything. You need to train as if you were a real man, only then can you know how to dodge ambushes like that."

Mei's eyes widened, 'Need… a… man?' Ao kept ranting to the orange haired swordsman until Mei smiled at him just a little too sweetly as Naruto felt quite a significant amount of KI, "Ao, shut up or I'll kill you."

Ao's jaw dropped, 'What the hell did I do?'

Naruto sweat-dropped, 'Okay… That wasn't random at all.'

Mei turned her attention back to Naruto, "Now for our hero here. Can I get the full name of the boy I am indebted to?"

Naruto snapped out of his thoughts and grinned cockily, "Oh yeah of course. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the Fullmetal Alchemist, nice to meet you." He finished with a showy bow.

Mei's eyes widened, "Your name precedes you Naruto-kun, I've heard of you. Iwa has you listed as a kill on sight threat in the bingo book."

Naruto scratched the back of his head, "Wow, last time it was just a listing of caution. Who did I piss off in Iwa?"

Mei laughed slightly at that, 'An Uzumaki? They still exist? I thought the Sandaime Mizukage wiped them all out.'

Mei rested her chin in her hands, "Well what can I do for you dear? I am in your debt, Chojiro is very important to the war effort."

Naruto waved it off, "It's okay I actually should be going before I end up running into anymore of the Mizukage's ninja. Even though I'm on leave from Konoha I'm still representing Konoha and I might get them into some deep trouble if I'm caught here."

Chojiro came up to Naruto, "You could at least stay the night before you leave, it's late in the day and you wouldn't make it to any towns with an inn or hotel anytime soon."

Naruto looked at the group sheepishly, "Actually, I kind of need an escort anyway, because I got lost in the mist when I found Chojiro and I really don't feel like wandering aimlessly through the forest for three more days."

Mei giggled at Naruto, "So I guess that means you will be staying for the night then?"

Naruto nodded, "Yes if I could. It's either that or stumble through the woods again."

Mei clapped her hands together, "Wonderful! Now Ao, Chojiro, I need to talk to Naruto-kun here. There's something I need to tell him." Naruto lifted his eyebrow in interest as Mei stood and walked to a couch across the room. Mei patted the seat next to her upon sitting down, "Come and sit with me for a moment Naruto-kun."

Naruto shrugged to himself and walked over to join her on the couch. Mei just looked at Naruto, taking in his appearance for a moment. Before Naruto finally opened his mouth to speak Mei started herself, "Fullmetal Alchemist is a very distinct name Naruto-kun. What may I ask is so 'fullmetal' about you?"

Naruto grinned and pulled his right arm from within his cloak, tapping it a few times for effect. Mei's eyes took on an appearance of surprise, "May I?" She asked, motioning to his arm.

Naruto nodded as she took it into her grasp to examine it, "What workmanship… How, or should I say, why would a child as young as yourself need something like this? This is the kind of thing that injured war veterans end up getting."

Naruto chuckled mirthlessly, "Because life is hard Mei-sama, and Kami doesn't fight fair. Bad things happen to young and undeserving people all the time, you should know this better than most due to your current situation. You're fighting against people that would harm innocents just because of how they were born, because of what they possess."

"You have a kekkei genkai?" Mei looked shocked, "But I thought Konoha adored those with bloodline limits. Why do they despise you?"

Naruto scratched his head, "It's not necessarily a kekkei genkai per se, it is something that makes me different. To Konoha it's the wrong kind of different."

Mei nodded as they sat in silence for a moment. She looked over at Naruto, "Naruto-kun do you know how all of this mess got started? How Kiri began with its bloodline purges?"

Naruto shook his head, "No, I didn't know if my friend knew or not and it seemed like it was a pretty personal thing to her so I never bothered to ask if she knew."

Mei leaned back into the couch, "It is a long story Naruto-kun, so you want to hear it?" Naruto nodded, "Yeah I'd like to if you'd be willing to tell me."

Mei smiled, "Okay this goes back to the days of the Sandaime Mizukage. In every major war Kiri had ever been a part of they had been known as the nation with the most kekkei genkai, Konoha had the most well known ones, but Kiri had the most." Naruto nodded, "So why the big shift around in opinion on them?"

Mei frowned, "Well the thing is, in every Great Ninja War Kiri had participated in, we for the most had gotten smashed… thoroughly." Naruto sharply inhaled, "That is rough…"

Mei giggled, "Yes well, after the Third Great Ninja War 16 years ago the Yondaime Mizukage, Yagura, took up power. At first things were okay, Kiri rebuilt, began replenishing its forces and recovered. But about three years into his reign he changed. Yagura became paranoid, he became obsessed with making Kiri a model nation for all shinobi to look onto. The first thing he did was initiate Kiri's graduation program. Things were made far harsher for children attempting to graduate and join the ranks, he wanted the best, in exchange for entire generations of students."

Mei took a breath, "The graduation ceremony included one-on-one fights to the death between students."

Naruto nodded and continued for her, "Right up until Zabuza Momochi came through right?"

Mei looked taken aback at Naruto's knowledge on this, "Yes, but how did you-?"

Naruto chuckled, "On my first C-ranked mission I ended up fighting Zabuza. He tried telling me the story of how he killed the entire class to psyche me out and kill me and my team off. You can obviously see how well that worked for him."

Mei nodded, "Well that ended that little attempt from Yagura to reform our forces, but then he moved on to something else. He started using the bloodline users as scapegoats for Kiri's problems and he began ostracizing them from the rest of the populace. Eventually he called for the eradication of our bloodline users."

Naruto growled, "Why didn't anyone ever call this guy out on this stuff? He sounds insane." Mei shook her head, "Before these things started Yagura was a good man, he was a caring, strong person. But like I said something changed when he took his position as Mizukage. There were many assassination attempts, from many people. Zabuza tried as well, but they all failed because the Mizukage has something in him that just blows anything I've ever seen right out of the water, the power he commands is frightening Naruto-kun, it isn't human."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "What do you mean isn't human?"

Mei looked at Naruto dead in the eye, "Naruto-kun, Yagura is the Jinchuuriki for the Sanbi, the Three-Tailed Turtle. He holds the power of a demon sealed within him."

Naruto's eyes bugged out as he looked at Mei like a deer caught in the headlights, 'He's got a demon sealed in him too? He's like me? He's different too… and he's killing people just because _they're_ different?'

Naruto gritted his teeth, "Okay Mei. I understand… But I have one thing you said that I don't get."

Mei blinked, "Go ahead and ask Naruto-kun."

"You said the story starts with the Sandaime Mizukage, how? Just because he lead during the last war?"

Mei took a deep breath, 'Okay, here we go. If this doesn't work then he won't ever join us.' "Well the Sandaime Mizukage kind of set a precursor to Kiri's bloodline genocide. Right before the close of the last war there was a country not too far from Kiri, an island nation. Uzu no Kuni, the Land of Whirlpools. This country had their own ninja force. Kiri wanted to integrate Uzu no Kuni into Mizu no Kuni, but when the people in charge of Uzu no Kuni declined the Sandaime took it upon himself to rid the area of the headstrong country."

Naruto looked disgusted, "So he just called for the annihilation of an entire country because they wanted to be free?"

Mei nodded, "Yes Naruto-kun, however Uzu's shinobi forces did not make the task too easy for him. They fought back every step of the way, inflicting massive losses on our ninja, were it not for Kiri's superior numbers there was no logical way they would have won. One clan of ninja in particular were especially despised and feared by Kiri."

Mei put a hand on Naruto's head and ruffled his hair, "These ninja carried blades into battle and were fully capable of matching, if not overcoming, some of Kirigakure's Seven Swordsmen. They had flaming red hair and charged into battle, fighting like berzerkers. They were never recorded to have ever retreated, if they were taken down it was done facing the hordes of Kiri nin in front of them."

Mei nodded thoughtfully, "The Uzumaki clan were truly a fierce lot."

Naruto double-taked at the end of her statement, "Uzumaki? My name is-."

Mei cut him off, "Yes, Uzumaki. You may just be the child of a survivor of the destruction of Uzu no Kuni. Maybe the only one of their line left."

Mei continued her story, "Eventually Kiri breached the walls of Uzu no Kuni's hidden village, Uzugakure, and proceeded to eradicate any trace of the village, the country, any part of it that could be retold. Only worded accounts from those that were there and survived have provided any information on it. It was wiped from existence Naruto-kun, now it's just an island."

Naruto shook, 'I actually have a background. I wanted information on my family for so long I gave up ever finding out about them. I finally find a trace of my history and it's gone! Damn it what do I have to do to catch a break around here?'

Naruto chuckled, his chuckling soon turned into unmitigated laughter as Mei looked on in concern, "Naruto-kun, are you okay?"

Naruto stopped laughing to look at her, "Me? I'm just fine. I finally find something about my family only to find that they were all wiped from the face of the continent three years before I even existed, so I'm really no closer to finding out about my parents than I was ten years ago. I'm fucking great." He looked down at the floor.

Mei looked at him sadly, "Naruto-kun I do know the way to get to Uzu no Kuni."

Naruto's head turned towards her so fast she thought he had hurt his neck, "You what now? Can you tell me how to get there? Please, I'm travelling anyway I would love to go see it!"

Mei shook her head, "The waters surrounding Uzu no Kuni are quite treacherous Naruto-kun. The entire island is surrounded by whirlpools that would rend any ship to tatters before you ever got sight of land. I would take you myself, but I'm committed to fighting this war here to depose the Mizukage."

Naruto looked down, "I see. Well at least I know something now. I wasn't some no name orphan, I come from a clan of powerful ninja. That's better than just wondering I guess."

Mei rubbed the boy's shoulder, "Ask one of the men where the barracks are. There should be a place for you to spend the night. Come and see me tomorrow before you leave, I'd like to thank you for your help again before you go."

Naruto nodded as he rose to leave the room. As he reached the door he looked back, "I want to thank you Mei-sama for telling me all of that. I learned more about my family from you in fifteen minutes than I did from my entire village in thirteen years."

Mei smiled at the boy, "You don't have to call me –sama Naruto-kun, I hold no sway over you. And I'm glad I was able to help you out, even a little bit."

Naruto returned her smile and left, shutting the door behind him. Mei sighed and held her forehead as she looked up at the ceiling, "I hate having to play the boy like that, but he's too good to just let go. Part of me hopes he will just leave… this really isn't his fight."

XxX

Naruto had left the carved out cave to set along the trees and the mist at night. Naruto found a quiet spot and took up a meditative pose to go inside his head.

XxX

As Naruto opened his eyes he found himself on a grassy moonlit hillside. Naruto sighed as he just lay down in the grass and waited. Naruto finally heard the rustle of someone walking along the grass as a smile appeared on his face, "Hello Kyuubi-chan, how are you tonight?"

Kyuubi walked up with a frown on her face as she sat down and placed Naruto's head in her lap before she began to stroke his hair, "**I'm fine Naruto-kun, but that isn't important right now, how are you feeling?**"

Naruto sighed as a feeling of contentment went through him as the female kitsune comforted him, "I don't know… Part of me feels great. I had a family. They were totally awesome! …But another part of me wishes I never knew at all. They don't even exist anymore, they were all killed off except for my parents, and now they're dead too, dead or they just dropped me at birth and ran for it after you were sealed in me."

Kyuubi's ears lowered as she looked away, "**I-I'm sorry Naruto-kun…**"

Naruto grabbed her hands and held them, "Meh it's okay, the past is the past and we've already established that you aren't truly at fault here. Shit happens I guess, no use bitching about it now, I've got things to do and no time to look back and complain."

Kyuubi smiled at him as she pinched his cheeks, "**That is a very introspective way of looking at things Naruto-kun. You're getting very mature you know?**"

Naruto sweat-dropped as he scratched the side of his head, "I don't know about all of that, I think the bombshell about the Uzumaki clan cleared my head of all of my mental shortcomings for the time being. You'll see, I'll be back to my smart-ass, headstrong, troublemaking ways in no time, just you wait."

Kyuubi laughed and continued to stroke the blonde hair of her container, "**So where will you go now? What's the plan after we get out of Mizu no Kuni Naruto-kun?**"

Naruto sighed, "I don't know… My first thought was to go to Oto and raise some hell there, but then again I'm not really feeling too suicidal right now so that plan is out. I'm a damn handsome young man if I do say so myself, and Orochimaru is not getting his pasty pedophile hands on the Fullmetal Alchemist… hell no, if it ever comes to that I am ripping this goddamn seal off and taking them all down with me."

Kyuubi huffed, "**Don't joke about you dying like that Naruto-kun! You will live for a long time, a very long time. We have all the time in the world to figure a way to get me out and keep you alive so don't even think about doing anything like that.**"

Naruto put his hands up in an apologetic fashion, "Hey, hey… I was trying to lighten the mood around here. I won't do that, and Orochimaru and his butt-buddy Kabuto aren't man enough to pin me down and catch me so don't even worry."

Naruto got a devilish smirk on his face, "If Iwagakure wants to put a hit out on me then I guess I'll just have to go there and give those bastards a reason to put one on me right?" Kyuubi gave Naruto a dry look, "What? Ero-sennin said I could go anywhere and do anything, Iwa is somewhere and I've got some pretty nasty prank ideas I didn't feel like letting loose in Konoha that would be just perfect for this."

Kyuubi's look turned into a smirk, "**You are some kind of idiot you know that?**"

Naruto chuckled, "Yes, yes I am, but I'm your idiot, and you're stuck with me until I kick the bucket or get you out of here."

Kyuubi shifted so that she could lay down and look up at the fabricated sky next to Naruto. Naruto looked over at the demoness, "So when are you gonna teach me anything cool with your powers. That cloak is awesome, but it comes with me using your chakra, I want some badass tricks to bolster my mad skills."

Kyuubi looked at Naruto curiously, "**I guess when we get out into the wilderness I can teach you a few techniques you can handle.**" Kyuubi turned her head towards Naruto with an amused look, "**You can handle them… right?**"

Naruto laughed, "Who do you think you're talking to here? I can do any damn thing I please, who can stop me?"

Naruto looked back up at the moon of his mind, "I still want to know about my family though… Am I really the only one left? Is there anything that can tell me more? I still want to see Uzugakure for myself."

Kyuubi yawned and shut her eyes, "**Well then you just need to get that Mei lady to take you there. She's the only person you know of that has any kind of knowledge on it, and do you really feel like traipsing about Mizu no Kuni for Kami knows how long looking for anyone else that can help?**"

Naruto smirked, "That's my Kyuubi-chan. Straight to the heart of the issue huh?"

Kyuubi put up a 'v' sign with her fingers. "**You know it Naru-kun!**"

Naruto continued to lay with her for hours, just looking up at the sky, "I'm way too young to be dealing with this kind of shit. Honestly who else has to mess with stuff like this on a regular basis? I'm sending out a survey, 'Teenage kids that deal with shit way over their heads.' I want responses damn it."

XxX

Mei Terumi sat in her office with Chojiro and Ao to discuss the current situation. As she perused over the records of the conflicts between the rebels and Mizukage's forces she sighed, "We're going to have to take a chance and find a way to take out the dragon at its head."

Ao sputtered, "Y-you mean just go straight for Yagura himself? That's suicide Mei-sama! Zabuza was the last person to try something like that and you see how that worked out?"

Mei smirked, "You forget Ao, Zabuza was strong when he attacked, yes, but I am far stronger than Zabuza. I just need a support for the battle, I have a plan to lure him into combat that I'm sure will defeat him."

Chojiro and Ao looked at each other and looked down. Mei blinked twice, "So neither of you are going to back me up against Yagura?"

Ao and Chojiro looked at each other once again and took fetal positions on the floor, "We would follow you into any battle you wish Mei-sama, but against Yagura we'd be nothing more than gnats to him, he would squash us."

Chojiro spoke up, "Mei-sama, you are the only person among us that even remotely has a chance against Yagura in combat. None of us are even close to being his match, only you."

Mei grumbled as she put her head on her desk, "Where the hell am I going to find someone tough, headstrong and damnably crazy enough to go along with a half-baked attack plan against the most powerful person in the entire country?"

The door flew open to feature a blonde boy in a red cloak with a metal arm gleaming in the light. Mei's face lit up upon his arrival, "Naruto-kun!"

Naruto put a shit-eating grin on his face, "So Mei-chan… I guess I'll just have to go ahead and end this little war of yours so you can get me to Uzu no Kuni. You don't have any problems with that do you?"

**My summer is on! Fuck college! It's just high school that you have to pay for! I am too smart and too violent to be in a setting like my university. Beach kids and douchbags trust fund kids around every corner, catch 'em at Starbucks at 12 at night! And fuck Starbucks, fuck Starbucks sideways.**

**God I can't wait to graduate in 3 years so I never have to pick up another goddamn book for as long as I live, you feel me? I know you do! If you hate college then hallelujah holla back, if you don't… well review and enjoy your month of May, I know I will, ahaha ahaha ha!**

**Noteworthy reviews will be getting their props next chapter because I said so.**

**Kenchi out, fuck college. (Everything I ever needed to know I learned back in 5****th**** grade, no bullshit I haven't learned a damn thing in almost ten years isn't that sad?)**


	37. 9 is Better Than 3

Review Shoutouts

**KantonKageX: Thanks, I wasn't sure what their hair color was because I never remembered seeing a color picture of them ever. **

**Fenris24: Fuck college. And subtle humor is what I strive for.**

**Blessfullmoon: Yes I will be updating more frequently, not that I was sporadic with it before, but like I said fuck college.**

**Zeromaru Chaos Mode: There is nothing anyone can do about it. That is why America is full of dumbass people these days, school systems all about money and not about actually teaching useful things, just going over the same shit every year for 4-8 years. All you can do is prepare yourself, It's all we've got.**

**Snipa: Everybody loves Murphy's Law.**

**Kiyomos: … Um… Sweet?**

**inuficcrzy: I aim to please. Glad to see that people find my humor… humorous. Thanks.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I do however own a gun and a lack of moral scruples so never mention this fact to my face or horrible things will happen to you and I'll go to prison and will be unable to write this story for up to 25 years or more.

**Chapter 37: 9 is Better Than 3**

(2 Weeks Later)

All throughout Kiri's misted forests the sounds of combat rang out. Mei and the best of her rebel forces took to engaging Yagura's top ninja throughout the general area around the hidden base of the rebels.

There was no need to even attack the main base itself, if the rebels lost here then there was no significant threat left. The back of the entire rebellion would be broken, and from there it would just be a matter of mopping up the remaining forces.

A group of rebel ninja landed in front of Ao who was in charge of the main assault and defense force, "Ao-sempai, squad 4 has just engaged hunter group 9 seven kilometers west of here."

A second man spoke up, "Ao-sempai, how much longer do we have to keep this up? We were outnumbered from the start. Only the use of familiar terrain let us shear down their numbers from the start."

Ao gritted his teeth, "Mei-sama is working on it! Give her and Naruto some time damn it! As bad as we have it I can assure you this is nothing compared to what they're facing."

XxX

Naruto stood upon a bluff overlooking a field spared from the battle damage common elsewhere close by. He had foregone the cloak just to appear in his black sleeveless shirt and black pants. Standing next to Mei, Naruto couldn't stop fidgeting, "I swear to Kami I just keep getting myself in the worst situations don't I?"

Mei giggled as a lone man came into view, no bodyguards, no forces behind him, "Ah, that's our man Naruto-kun. Are you ready?"

Naruto shook his limbs out and cracked his neck, "Does it really matter? If I'm not he'll just kill me anyway so let's do this already."

Mei and Naruto jumped from the cliff to meet their adversary in battle.

(2 Weeks Ago)

"_**Do it again Naruto-kun… It's not big enough yet**__"_

_Naruto sat panting on the ground covered in sweat, "This is ridiculous. If you didn't show me how strong this move was I'd never have even tried it. It's messing up my throat." To prove his point Naruto hocked up a bloody loogie and spit it onto the ground._

_Kyuubi sat in his mind shifting anxiously, "__**I don't care Naruto-kun, do it again. You wanted me to train you, well this is the first technique I'm teaching you so get it together. Just cracking a tree with the attack isn't enough, you need to obliterate the damn thing, otherwise it's a failure.**__"_

_Naruto groaned in defeat and stood back up, pressing on his throat as some form of comfort, "Fine, but I'm stopping when I sound like I have freaking throat cancer." _

_Naruto sucked in a massive amount of air and gritted his teeth, beams of red light appearing from behind them. Naruto mentally screamed to himself, '__Onijutsu: Kitsune Hakkaten (Demon Technique: Fox Flash)__!'_

_Naruto opened his mouth with a yell, expelling a forceful blast of red light from his mouth. As it sailed through the mist and collided with the tree he was aiming at Naruto looked on as the smoke cleared._

_Naruto found that like the rest of his attempts things were slowly coming along. At first all he had been able to manage with the attack was to slightly char the side of the wood. However on this attempt he found that he had cracked the wood._

_Naruto sighed and rubbed his throat, "Still not good enough… Damn it."_

_The attack called for Naruto to build up a significant amount of Kyuubi's chakra in the back of his throat and force it out through his mouth to fire a destructive beam at his opponent. It was a simple technique in theory, just build up a crapload of power and let it fly, according to Kyuubi despite being so destructive it was a damn simple technique for a lot of the more adept fox demons to learn._

_This didn't really apply to Naruto. Being a human, Kyuubi's unprepared and unconverted chakra hurt Naruto. Having to build it up in his throat was very painful for him and it caused him damage. When it ran through his chakra system it wasn't too bad, it had become accustomed to some amount of demonic chakra running through it at all times, however the insides of his body, such as his organs excluding the heart and lungs were not. Channeling any amount to his insides other than the two aforementioned organs which were more closely interwoven with his network than any other was quite a painful experience._

_Kyuubi surmised that he needed to toughen up his throat the hard way, by using the attack as much as he safely could until he could fire a full power blast, and this form of training was starting to see its effects, however slowly and painfully it was coming._

_Naruto cleared his throat and stood up, 'I wonder if Mei-chan's plan can actually work. This Yagura guy beat Zabuza straight up in a fight. How much stronger could she be?'_

"_**You beat Zabuza, just because this Yagura person did too doesn't mean anything.**__" Naruto sighed, 'I didn't beat Zabuza. I haven't beaten anyone that's really high-profile.'_

_Kyuubi blinked inside of Naruto's head as she listened to him, "__**What? You fought and you survived, how did you not beat anyone?**__"_

_Naruto shook his head, "I fought Zabuza with Kakashi. Kakashi got the final blow in, I just freed him to fight. Me and Big Boss fought Raiga, and Big Boss was the one that came up with the final plan and was the one that killed him too. Ero-sennin and Tsunade-baachan beat Orochimaru, I was just an ant compared to them."_

_Kyuubi's tails swished as she thought of a counter, "__**You beat Haku, Gaara, Kabuto, and that Iwa kunoichi.**__"_

_Naruto scoffed, 'All of them had reasons as to why they lost. Me and Big Boss fought Haku-chan together, and she wasn't fighting to kill. By the time she was she was so tired I finished her with one salvo of exploding bunshin. Gaara was bat-shit crazy and easy to manipulate into fighting my fight as all he was thinking about was killing me. Kabuto was a bitch… that's all I have to say about that, he was a bitch and he underestimated me, and paid dearly.'_

_Kyuubi grumbled inside of his head, "__**And what could be your excuse for fighting and beating the Iwa girl, she WAS a jounin.**__" _

_Naruto nodded, 'Yeah, but again, she underestimated me and allowed me to escape and get my arm back. And not only that, if I couldn't get that damn halberd away from her I would have lost."_

_Naruto felt a shock go through his head and let out a yell, 'What the hell?' _

_Kyuubi growled, "__**Stop shortchanging yourself damn it! You found their weaknesses and exploited them. That's what ninja do! You fought the way you were supposed to fight, to win by any means necessary. It didn't matter what you had to do to win, or how long it took, the ends justify the means. Now get over your personal pity party and get back to work on this jutsu or I swear to Kami I will keep you up all night singing 'The Song That Never Ends!'**__"_

_Naruto snapped to attention and looked around frantically before taking a deep breath, "__Onijutsu: Kitsune Hakkaten__!"_

_XxX_

_Mei sat at her desk and perused over every bit of information on Yagura she had collected since the active rebellion had begun, 'So far all I've seen is that the only thing that would definitely work on Yagura is the __Gogyo Fuuin (Five Elements Seal)__, but we don't have anyone that is even adequate at seals, let alone knows this one.'_

_Mei took on a pondering look, "I wonder if Naruto-kun knows anyone that's good with seals."_

_XxX_

_(Some Random Location in Jack-Fuckistan, miles away from anything significant)_

"_WACHOO!" _

_Jiraiya banged his face against a fence from the force of his sneeze._

_Leaning back while wiping his nose and rubbing his face Jiraiya sniffed, "I guess some hot babe is talking about me. But then again I don't see how she couldn't WAHAHA!"_

"_Oh yeah, we can't see how at all."_

_Jiraiya turned to see a mass of women in towels glaring murder at him. Jiraiya chuckled good-naturedly before sighing, "Okay you all know the drill… One shot each and not in the face."_

"_AHHHHHH OKAY THE FACE, THE FACE!"_

_XxX_

_Mei huffed, "It doesn't matter. They say the most surefire way to kill a jinchuuriki is with another jinchuuriki." Mei slammed her head on her desk and groaned into the hardwood, "Where the hell am I going to find another jinchuuriki!"_

"_WACHOO"_

_Mei rose at the sound of a sneeze and a bang on her door, "Enter."_

_The door opened to reveal Naruto rubbing his forehead, "Someone is really talking about me… I hope she's hot."_

_Mei smiled at the arrival of the blonde boy, "Ah how are you Naruto-kun? Is your training going well?" _

_Naruto sat down and smiled at her, "As good as I could hope for it to go. I'm just waiting for your go ahead to go and fight that Yagura douche." _

_Mei looked at Naruto in surprise, "You want to fight Yagura?"_

_Naruto nodded with a grin, "Yeah let's do it! I mean I know he's a kage and everything, but if you're thinking of fighting him and you lead the entire rebellion then you must be pretty damn strong. And that guy needs to go down, this needs to end."_

_Mei smiled at him as Naruto continued, "You can help me get to Uzu no Kuni after we win right?" _

_Mei went back to going over her documents, "Of course Naruto-kun, if you can help us out then that would be the least we could do for you."_

_By now Naruto had noticed the look on her face as she went over the things on her desk, "Mei-chan are you okay? You look kind of tense."_

_Mei sighed, "I'm trying to find some way, any way to beat Yagura decisively. So far I've got nothing. The most applicable thing I found was that the best way to fight him was with another jinchuuriki, but I doubt another of the 5 great nations would lend a ragtag group of rebels one of the most powerful forces in the elemental nations."_

_Naruto swallowed a lump that had appeared in his throat, "You don't say. A jinchuuriki huh?"_

_Mei hadn't paid attention to Naruto's discomfort, "That bastard has demonic power at his disposal, but his biju is the three-tail, there are still six more with more power than him."_

_Mei looked up and started counting off on her fingers, "Suna has the one-tail, Kumo has the two-tails and the eight-tails, Yagura of course is the three-tails, Iwa has the four-tails and the five-tails, who knows where the six-tails is, Taki has the seven-tails-."_

_Naruto finished up subconsciously, "And Konoha has the nine-tails."_

_Mei blinked in confusion, "Yes, but I thought no one knew about their jinchuuriki. No one ever talks about it, even in Konoha."_

_Naruto took a deep breath, "I know about it because I am Konoha's jinchuuriki." Naruto cut off Mei's reply, "It's a secret because the Kyuubi, the nine-tailed fox, attacked the village, as you probably know." Upon seeing her nod he continued, "Well after it was sealed in me all of the adults or people old enough to know what was happening wanted me dead, in order to try to protect me from the future generation's ire the sealing was kept secret for the most part, but it was a horribly kept secret."_

_Naruto tapped his right arm, "A gift from the demon-haters. That was a fun sixth birthday, such a great party." Naruto finished sarcastically._

_Mei took a moment to reflect on what she was just told before Naruto chuckled nervously, "I actually haven't told any of my friends in Konoha that I have her in me, their reaction might be violent."_

_Mei raised an eyebrow, "Her? The Kyuubi's a girl?"_

_Naruto nodded, "Yep. After the first time we met we've actually gotten on quite well. She's really sweet when you get to know her."_

_Mei snickered, "Don't worry Naruto-kun, you're a good boy. And now we have a nice little trump card for our battle with Yagura. Can you use any of her power?"_

_Naruto sat silent for a second before responding, "Yeah, I can use up to I would guess two tails of her chakra before it starts really wearing on me. It used to be one but since I've been learning her attack move I've increased the overall amount I can safely handle."_

_Mei grinned widely, "That's fantastic! Now I can actually form a decent attack plan, and as long as you help me out with the final fight then we can win!"_

_Naruto scratched his head, "So what the hell are we going to do? I mean he's the Mizukage. How are we going to get to him? I'm decent at infiltration, but I can't get the drop on a kage, I'm just not that good."_

_Mei walked over to Naruto to pat him on his shoulder comfortingly, "It's okay Naruto-kun, if my plans work then we'll get Yagura to come to us. All I'm waiting on is for Ao to come back and we can get ready for battle."_

_Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure that's such a good plan. If we lose then everybody else is screwed. Luring him here could compromise all of the others."_

_Mei frowned and nodded, "Yes, it is risky, but luring Yagura into open battle is probably the best chance at ending this war that we've got. If we can kill him then we can march right into Kirigakure and take the kage seat."_

_Naruto looked confused, "Really? That's how you guys do things around here?"_

_Mei walked with Naruto to the door, "Yes, it's how the Sandaime Mizukage took his position."_

_Naruto returned his attention to what was on his mind, "Are you sure you think I can help you? I'm just a chunin going up against a kage after all, there is no guarantee that I won't just be a liability to you when the fight starts."_

_Mei caressed Naruto's cheek, "You really are a good person Naruto-kun. You put yourself in someone else's conflict because it was the right thing to do. You won't be a liability to me, just believe you can win, and I'll be right there with you the entire time okay? We can finish this ourselves."_

_Naruto nodded and perked back up, "You're right Mei-chan, sorry about that. I don't know where my edge went but I'm over it now. I'll do my damndest to help out all of the people that need me here. Yagura won't win, even if he kills me."_

(End Flashback)

Yagura, the man they had come to dispose of, stood just fifty yards away. He had even come to the battle dressed in his kage robes, no doubt covered by some sort of combat armor. He removed his hat to reveal dirty blonde hair and beady, arrogant eyes, "Ah, Mei, so good to see you again. I guess you've decided to end this little farce of a civil war and give up huh?"

Mei smirked and shook her head, "You're partially right, I am here to end this civil war, I'm just going to do it by killing you and restoring some logical order to Kiri once and for all."

Yagura cackled momentarily before regaining his composure, "Logical order? What I've done is logical! Don't you see that all of these polluted bloodtypes are what is slowly killing Kiri's power?"

Naruto shot an angry look at Yagura, "Yeah they're killing Kiri's power because you've spent the better part of the decade hunting them down like animals and exterminating them! You should know what it means to be different from others, what could give you any reasonable excuse to bastardize so many people?"

Mei put a hand on Naruto's shoulder to calm him down before speaking to Yagura, "Nonetheless, it's time for this to come to an end. You have to die today Yagura."

Yagura once again began to laugh heavily, "You think that only yourself and a kid with a prosthetic arm can come even close to beating me? The recruitment for more rebels must be far worse off than I thought."

Naruto gritted his teeth as Mei smirked, "This isn't just any recruit Yagura, or is your information on foreign affairs so bad that you don't even know who the Fullmetal Alchemist is?"

Yagura stopped laughing for a moment, "Of course I know who that is. The boy that single-handedly stopped Suna's jinchuuriki after he went full-power in the middle of Konoha. You thought that some upstart jinchuuriki killer could give you an edge over me?"

Yagura paused to let out a few more chuckles, "That brat didn't have any control over his biju, his biju controlled him! I have mastered using my own, and mine is more powerful than the Ichibi no Shukaku! The Sanbi no Genbu is three times as strong at full power!"

Naruto shook his head, "Nah that's just speculation. The biju all rank around each other and rotate in power actually. Except for one that is."

Yagura nodded, "Yes, the Kyuubi was no doubt the most powerful. Too bad."

Naruto snickered, "You hear that Mei-chan? Now she's going to get a swollen ego over that one." Naruto paused and cringed while holding his head. Mei looked at him oddly, "What's the matter Naruto-kun? Are you okay?"

Naruto rubbed his temple and nodded, "Yeah, she just bitched me out over that last comment. It's a good thing we're about to fight or else I'd be hearing about that one all day."

Yagura sighed in boredom, "Are we done? Can I kill you two now and go back to Kiri? Rebellion or not there's still tons of paperwork to do."

Naruto sweat-dropped, "You know between the old man and him I'm kind of wondering if being Hokage would really be so cool. All they fucking talk about is the paperwork, seriously. Dude why don't you just use clones to do the work, you're the Mizukage! I know you know how to do Mizu Bunshin (Water Clones)! So what the hell?"

Yagura froze for a moment as his eyes widened and then whipped his head around searching frantically before running from the clearing to a tree before banging his head repeatedly against it shouting 'stupid.'

Naruto slapped his own forehead, "Damn it I totally forgot!"

Mei looked concerned, "What Naruto-kun, what's wrong now?"

Naruto looked on at Yagura punishing himself, "I forgot to tell Tsunade-baachan the secret to paperwork before I left. I wonder if she's pissed?"

XxX

(Konohagakure – Hokage Tower)

"WACHOO!"

"Damn it!" Tsunade wiped her nose while her tower of papers fluttered across the office, "Ugh… Stupid brat, leaving and not telling me stuff…"

Tsunade looked over at Hiruzen who was asleep on the couch in the room, "Sarutobi-sensei why are you still here?"

Hiruzen cracked an eye and yawned, "Because it's my retirement and I can do what I want. Naruto and Kushina were right, other people's reaction to their own paperwork is hilarious."

Tsunade growled, "Well then tell me the secret to paperwork damn it!"

Hiruzen grinned, "Nope, I went over fifty years without it, you can last the two years until Naruto gets back. Hopefully you last that long."

Tsunade picked up a form from off of the floor, "I'm going to kill that gaki when he gets back here…"

XxX

(Back in Mizu no Kuni)

Naruto shivered, "I think I screwed someone over back home… I hope they get over it in two years."

Yagura made his way back over from the tree with a red mark on his head, "Okay now that that's over. Let me show you the true power of a real jinchuuriki."

Naruto grinned, "If this is going to be some kind of demonic pissing contest then I'm pretty sure I've got you beat."

Mei looked down at Naruto, "Show him Naruto-kun."

Naruto nodded, "Don't freak out. No matter how it feels it's still me okay?" Naruto shut his eyes, 'Game time Kyuubi-chan, let's freak this guy out.'

Naruto opened his eyes as the atmosphere around him changed. Mei felt the bloodlust of his demonic chakra roll off of him as goosebumps formed on her body.

Yagura felt it from where he was standing and saw the changes coming from the boy; his facial marking deepened, his real hand began growing claws, his canines lengthened and his eyes became slitted as the chakra around him became visible in a red haze.

Yagura went wide-eyed, "You, boy. Are you too a jinchuuriki?"

Naruto grinned ferally, "**Got it in one… At least you aren't in denial or anything.**"

Yagura felt a ghost of a smile come to his face, "Which one are you?"

Naruto shook his head, "**It isn't important. You're going to die here anyway so any information I tell you would be useless. Now prepare yourself.**"

Yagura laughed, "Mei, what a trump card! I'm impressed, The jinchuuriki killer the Fullmetal Alchemist IS a jinchuuriki! How fun! You've outdone yourself this time I must say. Now let's get this started."

Naruto whispered to Mei, "**Um, Mei-chan. Do you have any kick-ass powers that could help us, or that I should look out for? Just thought I should ask before we get into this.**"

Mei shook off her discomfort after remembering it was Naruto, "Don't worry about that Naruto-kun. You'll know when you see them."

Naruto shrugged before rushing in at Yagura growling.

**And that's it for this chapter people. I have nothing cool to say or any smart ass comments to type out so whatever. Review for your hero. I'm gonna go do other stuff, like make some fucking money.**

**Kenchi out.**


	38. In Touch With Your Demon

Review Shoutouts

**abhishek20: Sometimes you've got to go for the obvious. Why come up with a nickname when there's one right in my face? I don't get paid for being creative damn it, sometimes you just have to be lazy about it.**

**KantonKageX: It's more similar looking to the cero from Bleach. I say similar when I mean a direct ripoff. Again, why be creative for free when there's something easy right in my face? I'm not even sure I'm going to even use the Imari since it's catalyst is somewhat under control.**

**Jyuubi6: I'm sorry I've been cutting back on the smart assed rants recently. I've found that since I've left college for the summer I'm far less cynical than I was two months ago. And that's some high praise for random humor, I'm not nearly that good at this.**

**hmmm: Yes it is overused, but it's also obvious after a little thought. And Kage Bunshin may be taxing for everybody else, but it only helps to flex chakra reserves when used correctly, like in the vein of one or two. Thanks for the complement too though.**

**Raidentensho: I wish this made me money too, God I wish it did… And that thing about the balls, that's terrifying. Thanks for putting that thought in my head, see if my paranoid ass ever tries to get a BJ ever again.**

**kiyomos: You bastard! You can't take my motherf'n cookie privledges! Who do you think you're dealing with here! I'm comin' for you cornbread, I'm comin'!**

**kitsune-demon16: Well hot damn then, my stories must be pretty damn awesome for someone to say that. I'll keep 'em coming.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I hereby challenge Masashi Kishimoto to a 5k footrace for the rights to Naruto. Don't duck me anymore Kishimoto it's time to let the most deserving man take what's his! The people have called you out!

**Chapter 38: In Touch With Your Demon**

"Naruto wait!"

Mei's shouts went on deaf ears as the demon fueled blonde flew across the open field dead set on Yagura. Yagura's face took on a grin as he saw every step the boy made towards him. Yagura effortlessly blocked the hard right hand from the blonde and held it in his grip.

Naruto, despite being fueled by a tail of Kyuubi's chakra found that Yagura still had no trouble defending against his strength, 'What? He didn't even move. Is he using the chakra of the Sanbi?'

Yagura noticed the look of contemplation on Naruto's face, "You probably thought I used my own biju's chakra to block that didn't you? Well you're wrong. That was all me." Naruto's eyes widened. Yagura drove a knee into Naruto's body sending his to his own, "Even if you are using your demon, I'm still a kage you brat. With all of that power, as far as I'm concerned you are still out of your league."

Realization was all over Naruto's face as he was crouched on the ground, 'I must be some kind of idiot! I can't just charge in and smash his face to dust. I need to have a plan. Not only is he a jinchuuriki, he's not Mizukage for nothing.'

Mei bailed Naruto out with a series of throws with her shuriken. Yagura was forced to let go and dodge as the projectiles passed over the shorter boy's head at him. Naruto jumped back to Mei's side and turned Kyuubi's chakra down, "Okay, that was really stupid. I sure won't be trying that again."

Mei kept her eyes on Yagura, "I know you're not my ninja, but don't be stupid like that again okay? Even if you can't match Yagura shot-for-shot you are still very important to this fight. Even though he doesn't show it he's kind of shaken-up by you being a jinchuuriki and all. Be ready to back me up when we engage. When I say move you need to get out of the way okay? Or else you'll catch some friendly fire."

Naruto transmutated his arm blade, "Got it… I'll hold back on Kyuubi-chan's chakra for now. There's no need for it yet if he's isn't using his own and I don't think it would matter right now anyway. I have a few new tricks that nobody knows about so it should be fine."

Mei nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Now do you think you can keep him on you up close to give me some time to move in myself? He won't see you as a threat, but don't think he won't just kill you."

Naruto rolled his right shoulder and sucked his teeth, "Yeah, yeah… I think so. Heh I always thought I'd end up being cannon fodder for something like this. I can't say I'm too pleased to be right about it though."

Mei let a small smile form on her face, "Just don't die in there Naruto-kun, You're way too cute to die out here. Maybe if we survive this you can come and see me in a few years and I might have something for you."

Naruto's eyes widened as he looked blankly at Mei who simply winked down at him. Naruto turned his gaze onto Yagura as his pupils refocused, 'Oh I can't lose now. It's on!'

In his head however his familiar fox demon had thoughts of her own, '**That damn hussy, trying to bribe my Naru-kun. I'm the only one he's gonna end up getting something like that from damn it!**'

Naruto walked out towards Yagura, not turning his eyes away, "So I guess you don't think much of me do you?"

Yagura turned purple eyes to Naruto, "Not especially honestly. However what kind of fool would I be if I didn't fight you the right way? After all Mei certainly wouldn't have called you out here to fight me if she didn't think you were somewhat dangerous."

Naruto's walking turned to a brisk pace, and finally to a full-on sprint towards Yagura. Naruto ran in with a flying kick that Yagura just swatted aside. Naruto swung at Yagura with his arm-blade but Yagura simply dodged every stroke cleanly. Naruto shot a kick out at his body as Yagura hopped back. Naruto growled before clapping and placing his hands on the ground, pulling out a spear.

Yagura's eyes lit up as he saw the weapon in Naruto's hands, "Are you any good with that thing boy?"

Naruto tested the spear, turning it around in his hands and gauging its balance, "I'm not bad with it. If I could use a sword I would have pulled that out so yeah I'd say I'm decent."

Yagura pulled off his kage robes revealing a short-sleeve fishnet shirt under a black short-sleeve shirt, a green bit of clothing wrapping around his neck and shoulders, black pants with a green sash and another green cloth wrapping around his waist, and brown boots. What was interesting was the staff on his back, a large black staff with two hooks, one larger than the other, on the ends.

Yagura pulled the staff from his back, "I haven't gotten to use this in quite some time. Give me a good show won't you?" Yagura rushed at Naruto and swept at Naruto's feet with his hooked staff. Naruto jumped away and swung the spear at Yagura.

Yagura ducked and thrusted the end of the staff into Naruto's body. Naruto was sent back, exhaling his breath as he flew away. He returned to his feet and ran back in trying to thrust his spear at his foe. Yagura deflected the point away and smashed Naruto in the head with the other end. Naruto dropped to a knee and aimed his spear at Yagura's throat, Yagura hooked the point of the spear and diverted it over his shoulder harmlessly.

The Mizukage kicked Naruto in the face, sending him back and confiscated his weapon. Yagura tossed it aside, "I thought you said you were decent? Those skills were terrible, killing you in a scuffle like that wouldn't have been worth remembering at all."

Naruto rose to his feet set to fight. He felt a trickle of his own blood flow down his face from where Yagura cracked his with his staff, "I'm so sorry that I'm not sporting quarry for a kage. But you won't kill me so easily, I'm kind of persistent."

Yagura smiled, "Are you now? I like that. Come boy, let's continue."

Naruto clapped and placed his hands on the ground forcing spiked chains to fly at Yagura. Yagura simply batted them away and moved along the lines of the chains to deliver a kick to Naruto's chest.

Upon contact Naruto rolled through and formed another spear, this time to throw. Yagura dodged and saw Naruto running back in with his arm-blade drawn back to strike. Instead of a punch however, Naruto shot out his knee when he got close enough to swing. Yagura who had ducked what he had thought was going to be an incoming punch ended up taking a knee to the jaw for his trouble.

Naruto was shocked by his own actions, 'I actually hit him? I just kneed a kage in the face…' Naruto hardened his features, as he knew he probably wouldn't be getting a lucky shot like that again, 'Well then, I guess I'll follow up, 'cause this won't be happening again.'

Naruto hooked a roundhouse kick to the side of Yagura's body and quickly formed two clones to surround the man. The original tossed a kunai that Yagura dodged by moving his head, but this was just a diversion. One clone wrapped his arms around Yagura's waist from behind as a second clone swept Yagura's legs out from under him. The first clone fell backwards and bridged his body to slam Yagura to the ground on the back of his neck. As Yagura was folded over the original Naruto jumped into the air and landed hard on the back of Yagura's thighs, crumbling the ground under him.

Naruto jumped off and looked at his handiwork, "Sashinoberu Kesei (Javelin Formation)! Now get up. I know damn well that wasn't enough to put you down for good."

Right on cue Yagura's body turned to water. Naruto heard his clones yelp in pain and he ducked suddenly as Yagura came from behind to swipe at him with his staff. Yagura hooked Naruto's pants and lifted him into the air. Yagura began to swing Naruto above his head rapidly before slamming him into the ground hard and pinning him down with his staff.

Naruto coughed up blood as Yagura looked down at him, "That combination of yours, I like that. I've never seen anything like that before."

Naruto coughed and looked up at Yagura, "I like to be spontaneous." Yagura chuckled, "So I saw. I'm sorry, but you actually are far too dangerous to leave alive. Maybe with some more experience you would test me… and for that reason you have to die here."

Yagura lifted his boot to stomp Naruto's head into the ground when a smile came onto the Konoha nin's face, "Clones are so damn awesome."

Yagura felt a presence from behind and lifted his staff to block a slash from one of Naruto's clones that had turned his arm into an axe. Yagura exerted much effort holding the surprisingly strong strike back, "A Kage Bunshin? You only had two. I killed them both."

The kage bunshin smiled as he tried overpowering Yagura, "Boss threw that kunai at you to start his combination. He didn't think he would get you with it so I was his insurance for that. My henge is impeccable don't you know?" The bunshin looked down and smirked, "I don't know why you're worried about me. The real threat's down there."

Yagura looked down to see Naruto's right arm turned into some tube like appendage, "Sogekihei Sandan (Shot Sniper)!"

A bang rang out as a metal cartridge came from Naruto's arm. The bullet flew through Yagura and hit Naruto's kage bunshin, dispelling it. Yagura turned into another puddle, revealing him as a Mizu Bunshin.

As the water drenched Naruto he jumped to his feet and looked around, "You haven't been fighting me from the start have you? It's always been those bunshin hasn't it?"

Yagura walked from the misty trees surrounding the clearing, "Very good child. Those bunshin were one-tenth of my actual strength, you did quite well."

Naruto smirked, "I'm just full of surprises, believe it."

Yagura stood and frowned, "But still, you really are too dangerous to be allowed to live. It's a shame, such a talented boy, but I'm afraid I have to kill you now."

Naruto sweat-dropped as he fell in his stance, "I would say bring it on, but I'm kind of terrified of what you would do if you did."

He looked around rapidly for Mei, but she was gone from the field. Naruto cursed under his breath, 'Damn, the thing with the clone was supposed to at least wound him, all it did was take out a clone. A CLONE! A clone did that to me!'

Naruto shook his head in resignation, "Well I jumped into this whole situation, it wouldn't do to lose my nerve half-way through now would it?" Naruto made several kage bunshin and they scattered around Yagura at varying distances. The clones furthest away made distance weapons like shuriken and kunai and even throwing spears as the closer clones looked ready to attack at any moment.

Yagura looked around, noting the positions of all of the kage bunshin. Yagura flew through a few hand-signs, "Suiton: Suigadan (Water Release: Water Fang Bullet)!"

Water from seemingly nowhere destroyed all of Naruto's close range bunshin. Naruto's jaw dropped, "How can you just form water jutsu from the air like that! I can do it, but that's because of my alchemy."

Yagura chuckled at Naruto's reaction, "Child when you master your element like I have you can pull it straight from nothing."

Naruto growled, "Well pull this straight from nothing." Naruto snapped as his kage bunshin began bombarding Yagura with their tools. Yagura made more hand-signs as the weapons flew towards him, "Suiton: Suijinheki (Water Release: Water Encampment Wall)!"

The wall of water flew up around him, keeping harm from coming to the Yondaime Mizukage. As the wall dropped, Yagura had vanished from sight. As he heard his all of bunshin poof out of existence something in his head told him Yagura was coming. Naruto dropped and formed a wall behind him just as a water whip lashed into it.

Naruto kept his eyes peeled all around him. As he searched the area for Yagura his sweat creased on his brow.

"Who are you looking for child?"

Naruto turned around to see Yagura grinning at him gleefully.

"Naruto-kun move!" Naruto jumped out of the way and saw a glowing red blob fly at Yagura. Yagura narrowly escaped just as the blob passed by him and hit the wall behind him. The wall slowly melted as the blob oozed over it.

Naruto rubbed his eyes in disbelief, "What the fuck was that shit? Do I have a concussion or did that just happen?"

Mei appeared next to Naruto, "That was real Naruto-kun. That was a jutsu from one of my kekkei genkai, Yoton (Lava Release)."

Naruto's looked gobsmacked, "So you can make lava? That was lava?" Naruto pointed at what used to be his wall.

Mei giggled, "I told you my jutsu might end up with some fratricide, I'm glad you listened immediately and moved. You're too cute to melt."

Naruto sweat-dropped, "I'm so happy you decided not to melt me."

Yagura came into sight clapping his hands, "Mei, you're very proficient with your kekkei genkai. Of course you know that I have to kill you now because of it."

Mei put her hands on her hips, "You can't beat us both Yagura, even if you're strong enough to beat me Naruto-kun is far too much of a wild card for you to account for."

Yagura stroked his chin in thought, "You're right. I guess I should just crush you both and be done with it before it gets a little too troublesome for my tastes."

Mei's breath hitched as the atmosphere tightened. Naruto tightened his fists as Yagura's eyes flashed and a purple aura began rolling off of him, "So he's finally using it huh? He's getting serious."

Mei nodded, "Will you still help me fight him even though he's so powerful?"

Naruto smiled at her reassuringly, "I'm not running from this. I chose to fight. Even a chunin can kill a kage. He has to fight perfectly if he wants to win this. I won't just leave you here."

Naruto slapped his face, "Okay, let's try this again shall we?"

Naruto's activated his one-tailed form and looked out at Yagura, "**I can't tell how many tails he's trying to use. He doesn't have an indicator like I do.**" Naruto shrugged, "**Oh well… Guess I'm winging it. Don't hit me with any lava please, I kind of don't want to die by melting.**"

Naruto flashed out of place and appeared next to Yagura launching a punch. Yagura blocked as Naruto continued throwing a barrage of punches at him. Yagura swatted Naruto away with his staff in response.

Naruto looked back at Mei, "**I'm kind of confused. If Yagura is the reason the bloodline purges are happening shouldn't he be more, I don't know… evil? He seems like he wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't trying to kill me.**"

Mei nodded, "Yagura actually is a kind person. But something in him snapped, he actually believes that this is the right thing to do. His personality never really changed, even through all of the bloodshed."

Naruto looked at him flexing his fingers in anticipation, "**Great, so he's crazy right?**"

Mei shook her head, "I'm not really sure. But we have to do this, good person or not, this has gone on for long enough."

Naruto conjured kage bunshin and sent them out into the forest surrounding the field before rushing Yagura once more. Naruto's swings with his arm-blade were blocked by Yagura's staff, "You're far faster and stronger now child. But you are still no match for me. You came here ten years too soon to match me."

Naruto chuckled in a gravely voice, "**Maybe, but in ten years this would have been overkill for you.**"

Yagura flung Naruto back off of him. When he rushed in once more Yagura grabbed him with his chakra and slammed him into the ground. Naruto again ended up coughing blood, 'So that's where his tail was… I was wondering.'

Yagura looked down impassively, "Like I said, too soon."

"Then how about me?"

Mei appeared from the ground behind Yagura and smashed him away from Naruto before calling out a jutsu, "Doton: Ganchuso (Earth Release: Rock Pillar Spear)!"

Yagura ended up being skewered with a series of sharp points coming from the ground under him. Instead of shouting in pain Yagura just smirked, "That was very good Mei. Using the boy as a close-range decoy to keep me occupied like that. I focused on his because like you said, he is a wild card in all of this. All you had to do was wait for your shots."

Mei looked shocked, the impaled Mizukage was simply speaking as if there weren't spikes going through his body. Naruto scoffed, "**It isn't really that easy to take out a jinchuuriki Mei-chan. If you want to kill one of us you kind of have to go way overboard with it, and then you have to lop off our heads to make sure we're dead.**"

Mei looked at the glowing boy in shock, "Are you serious? There's no way."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "**Actually I don't know. I'm only speaking from personal experience and even then it's kind of hyperbole. But I do know that that isn't enough to finish this.**"

Yagura pulled himself from the spikes, ignoring the blood loss from his torso, "He's right you know. We're just getting started with our little battle!"

Naruto slapped his hand to his forehead as he saw Yagura gain another chakra tail from his body, "**This is fucking ridiculous…**"

XxX

Ao was leading a squad of his own ninja through the forests until he found himself being smothered by an oppressive force. As he looked around he saw that he wasn't the only one affected, 'This pressure, it's overwhelming! Are Naruto and Terumi-sama actually fighting that?'

Chojiro spoke up, "Ao-san… What do we do? That isn't coming from very far away."

Ao growled and looked around, "We keep moving and stay with the plan. If Mei-sama can't win against it then what chance would we have? Let her and Naruto deal with Yagura, we should keep occupying his forces until we're given the signal to disengage."

The group nodded and pressed onwards.

XxX

'Of all the bullshit situations I have to deal with…'

Naruto and Mei looked on as Yagura's form began to change. After he formed his third chakra tail his entire body began to change. His shirt ripped off of his upper body as his body began to expand and harden, forming a shell on his back. His skin changed to a grey color and took on a rougher appearance. The three tails became tangible and shelled like his back. His lower jaw jutted out over his upper jaw as his teeth sharpened. Even his hair hardened to the same density as his shell.

Naruto growled in anger, "**This is some old bullshit! I don't look that cool when **_**I**_** try to use three tails! I just go bat-shit crazy and poison people! Look at him, he grew to like fifteen feet high!**"

Mei tensed up upon seeing Yagura transform, "This is the full power of a jinchuuriki."

Naruto shook his head, "**No… This is the power of this jinchuuriki. I can go just as high as him. I just don't like doing it.**"

Mei looked at Yagura in awe, "Why wouldn't you feel like it? Such power… I can't see much of a detriment to being so strong."

Naruto started pulling more of Kyuubi's chakra into himself, "**Grr… Well, there are quite a few if I could explain.**"

Mei began to pay attention to Naruto more, "**When I draw more than one tail of Kyuubi-chan's chakra I take on some effects.**" Naruto crouched on all fours on the ground, "**First of all, this feels more comfortable than just standing.**" As he spoke the second tail manifested itself in his chakra shroud, "**I used to find it hard to control my bloodlust and desire to fight, but working with it let me get over that much. If I draw anymore however I will get pretty feral in nature.**"

Naruto shut his eyes, 'But I have to. I can't afford to hold back here.'

The air around Mei began to tingle, slowly the tingle turned to burning. She looked at Naruto who was gritting his sharpened teeth as his eyes glowed red. His chakra tails whipped around rapidly.

"**Mei-chan… Move… Now.**"

Mei listened as she got away from Naruto. As she put distance between them the burning stopped as she realized it was coming from him in the first place, "What kind of power can burn others just by being around it?"

Naruto clawed at the dirt under him as he looked out at Yagura's transformed state, 'I doubt he can even talk anymore… Not like I'll be very conversational in this form anyway. Let's hurry this up before it starts hurting me.'

Naruto cried out as he began launching himself at Yagura in an animalistic rush. Naruto appeared right in front of him and began clawing at his enemy. Yagura blocked with his arms as Naruto's claws didn't even scratch the surface of his skin. Yagura sent out his tails to force the feral boy off of him, but Naruto began dueling him with the three tails of his own.

As the tails flailed about Naruto cracked Yagura in the face with a hard right hand. Yagura looked as if he had barely registered the attack and grabbed the boy before head-butting him and sending him back.

Naruto rose to his feet snarling as he took in a sharp inhale of air. At the height of his intake the insides of his mouth were glowing through his teeth, "**Onijutsu:****Kitsune Hakkaten (Demon Technique: Fox Flash)****!**"

Instead of the moderate sized beam from the forest, a blast the size of Naruto-and-a-half came from the boy's maw. The blast flew across the field before colliding with Yagura in a huge explosion.

Mei looked at the technique as a smile came to her face, 'That attack was so powerful and Yagura took it head on, that had to do it.'

The smoke from the blast cleared to reveal Yagura crossing his arms in defense. Upon closer examination there revealed to be barely even a scuff mark on him. Naruto growled at the lack of damage from his destructive new jutsu.

Mei shook her head, "His entire body… He is the three-tailed turtle. There isn't anything that can get through that armor, not even an attack like Naruto-kun's."

Naruto felt the need to rush back in and continue his onslaught before a voice of reason rang out in his head, "**Naruto-kun stop now!**" Naruto stopped just as he was about to begin moving towards Yagura to listen to the source of his power, "**Don't worry he won't move unless you're close. The Sanbi never really did like chasing down its enemies. You did well. That would have hurt anyone or anything else, but that natural armor defense is too much for even your new jutsu. Even your Rasengan wouldn't smash through it.**"

Naruto's face read as one of annoyance, all of the effort into learning a new move in time for the battle and it was neutralized after the first use. Kyuubi could sense his frustration, "**There has to be something you can do to punch through that shell of his. I think you might have to go up to another tail to fight him.**"

Naruto inhaled a breath sharply. He could see Kyuubi giving him an apologetic look in his head, "**I know you aren't old enough to safely handle that much power, but there isn't much other choice. What's worse; lose yourself for the time being to overpower Yagura, or die here and keep your sanity and humanity?**"

Naruto gave a gravely chuckle as Kyuubi shook her head, "**I see. You're too chivalrous for your own good you know?**"

Naruto growled out a sentence, "**No… Extra… Tail. Don't… Need it. Can still… win.**"

Mei appeared near Naruto, "I can't keep letting you fight him head on alone like this Naruto-kun. From here on out I'm with you."

Naruto gave her a fanged smile. Before turning back to Yagura, "**Armor… too tough. Can't break through.**"

Yagura looked at the duo before batting his three tails in their direction. Nothing happened at first, confusing the two. Mei looked around, "What did that do? Nothing's happening."

Naruto's senses went off moments later as he whipped his head around before shouting, "**Move now!**"

As he spoke an endless torrent of water came crashing over the tops of the cliffs surrounding the field. The water kept filing in, eventually filling the valley almost to the brim, making what was a forest area surrounding a clearing an artificial lake.

Mei and Naruto appeared standing atop the surface of the water. Mei's eyes scanned all across the new battlefield, "This is bad. This is very bad, it was difficult enough on land. Fighting him in the water is tantamount to suicide."

Naruto growled as he kept his own eyes peeled. Kyuubi voiced her thoughts to the boy, "**This is as bad as it can get now Naruto-kun. At least on land you could outmaneuver him, now he can hide anywhere, attack from anywhere, and he still has a defense you can't penetrate.**"

Naruto spit in anger, "**No… shit.**"

Naruto was cut off as he was grabbed by a tail and pulled underwater. Naruto writhed under the surface as he was pulled deeper by Yagura's tail. Naruto clawed at Yagura's tail to free himself from the fully transformed jinchuuriki's grip before high-tailing it to the surface at top speed.

Naruto gasped as he pulled himself to the surface and stood atop the water next to Mei. Mei looked at the drenched boy before the senses of both kicked in as they leapt apart. Mei shouted out across the gigantic mass that Yagura transformed to, "Naruto-kun! Don't come back over here! Both of us together is far too easy of a target for him!"

Yagura had seemingly grown in size since the water had come into the equation, instead of being roughly fifteen feet high he had doubled in size, 'How in the hell are we supposed to fight this thing?'

With a swipe of his tail Yagura sent a rush of water at Mei, sending her flying backwards. As she flew she was caught by Naruto, who put her down and rushed back into the fight with Yagura's monstrous form. Mei looked as Naruto leapt into the fray with the monster seeing that she was caught by a kage bunshin as the form of the massive turtle was being swarmed by an army of Narutos.

Despite the numbers of assailants it really did appear that taking the battle to the water had changed the complexion of the fight altogether. When before, Yagura sat and waited to be attacked before responding, even before using the chakra of the Sanbi, he now had no qualms about being the aggressor in combat.

Swatting the clones away with tails up close, grabbing and smashing them with his hands, even sending powerful water attacks to crush them from afar, Yagura was dissecting Naruto's replications by the masses and shrugging off his attacks.

Mei ran atop the water to re-engage in the fray. Yagura just continued dispatching the kage bunshin as Mei made her move, "Futton: Komu no Jutsu (Boil Release: Skilled Mist Technique)!"

Mei opened her mouth as a haze came forth, drifting towards Yagura and the clones. Mei looked on in concern, 'I really hope the real Naruto isn't in there.'

As the cloud of vapors crept onto Yagura's frame the clones around him began to dispel. The real Naruto actually had been off in the distance waiting for any ideas from Kyuubi on how to deal with the change of events in the fight when she saw through Naruto's eyes the effect of Mei's jutsu, "**Wait a minute…**"

Yagura began to cry out in pain as his body began to hiss and smoke began coming from his body. Parts of his body began boiling over and being eaten through. Kyuubi was struck by realization, "**Naruto-kun! That woman's jutsu, it's eating through Yagura's tough skin and outer shell! It's weakening his body! Try your attack now!**"

Naruto inhaled deeply, once again forcing the red light to permeate from his mouth, "**Onijutsu: Kitsune Hakkaten (Demon Technique: Fox Flash)****!**"

Naruto fired the attack as it ripped across the top of the water and exploded on Yagura's body. Yagura cried out in pain as the attack actually injured him this time around. Instead of allowing them to follow up on their attacks Yagura dove under the water in an attempt to wash off the corrosive substance on his body.

Kyuubi kept barking marching orders at her container as Yagura disappeared, "**Kit, you need to get that Mei woman to use that attack on Yagura again. I don't care what you have to do to keep him occupied long enough for her to use it, it's your only chance to allow your heavy attacks to get through.**"

Naruto nodded as she finished her explanation. Running over to Mei he began explaining the situation as best he could, "**Mei-chan, we need that attack again. It made him weak… My attacks can get through… Soften him up.**"

Mei's eyes sparkled as they had found something that finally seemed able to harm him. She smirked at the realization of how to win, but her thoughts of victory slid to a halt as she saw Naruto spit blood from his mouth, "Naruto-kun are you alright?"

Naruto wiped his lip and nodded, "**This much of Kyuubi-chan's chakra… It hurts after a while.**"

Mei looked at the blood in the water, "How many times can you use that attack of yours?"

Naruto gave her a bloody smile, "**As much as I need to.**" He was brought from his bluff by a coughing fit as trickles of blood flew from his mouth.

Mei bit her lip nervously, 'He's putting on a brave face, but his body is reaching its limit. If he goes down I don't think I have a jutsu destructive enough to use here to take Yagura down. Lava is useless on the water, and trying to melt him would take too much chakra, more than I have to spare, he'd keep diving under the water to rinse himself off.'

Naruto regained his composure, "**I'll hold him somehow. Get the jutsu ready… don't miss.**"

Naruto finished just in time for Yagura to resurface, aiming his tails for Mei. Naruto shoved her roughly out of the way as he ended up getting slapped by the tails of the turtle demon. He rolled through and went through hand signs, "**Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)****!**" A dragon rose up at Naruto's feet and collided with Yagura's body.

Naruto scoffed as Yagura simply shook off the blow and kept on Naruto who was dodging narrowly, 'Only really big stuff hurts him… bastard.'

Naruto looked down at his right hand as he began to form the Rasengan, only it took on a warped appearance. Instead of the regular blue color a red shell encased it, forcing it to take on a vermillion coloring.

Naruto looked up at Yagura who was streaming across the water at a high speed. Naruto sighed and charged at the massive form of Yagura, thrusting his hand out to utilize the Rasengan. As the two were about to collide Yagura snatched the boy up with his tail, forcing him to let go of the jutsu.

Before anything else could befall Konoha's jinchuuriki he was saved by lava falling on top of Yagura's elongated tail. Yagura cried out in pain again as he dropped Naruto to submerge the tail in the water. Naruto landed on the surface and reformed the Rasengan before thrusting it into another of Yagura's tail. The jutsu ended up grinding through Yagura's tail thoroughly.

Kyuubi cheered inside of Naruto's head, "**He lost a tail! That should have weakened him! At the very least he should be horribly off-balanced, call her now kit!**"

"**Mei-chan hit him now!**"

Mei nodded as she formed her seal, "Futton: Komu no Jutsu (Boil Release: Skilled Mist Technique)!" Yagura found himself surprisingly buoyant due to the loss of one tail and the injury to another, making it so that he couldn't dive to escape the jutsu or slip away to get out of range. As the cloud descended on him a cry of agony rang out through the area for miles around. Yagura began furiously splashing himself with his arms and his tails but could not negate the corrosive properties of Mei's jutsu.

The tough outer shell of Yagura began looking raw and irritated as he began bleeding from certain parts of his body. He was concerned with ridding himself of Mei's acidic jutsu, therefore he never sensed Naruto charging up for one last attack next to her.

'I can only throw this at him one more time! My body is too stressed for another attempt!' Naruto sucked in air one last time and ignored the choking and the blood building up in his throat as he gathered Kyuubi's chakra, "**Onijutsu: Kitsune Hakkaten (Demon Technique: Fox Flash)****!**"

Naruto let fly with his final attack. As the red beam of demonic energy collided with Yagura's body it struggled for a moment, but with him being sufficiently softened up by the acid it punched a hole right through his torso. As Yagura's eyes glazed over a purple haze surrounded him once more as he returned to his normal form. With one exhale of breath he fell backwards on top of the water, floating motionless.

Naruto and Mei stood observing the scene for a moment, just in case it wasn't him, just in case they didn't finish him with their last flurry of offense. After standing still for minutes Naruto sighed and released Kyuubi's chakra, reverting to his normal state.

The two stood in silence on the surface of the water, no more tumultuous waves crashing about, no noises of battle, just silence. After a prolonged period of no movement or sound a tear slipped from Mei's eye, "I'm sorry Yagura. It had to come to this."

Naruto dropped to one knee on the water, "Heh… Who's your hero…"

With that said Naruto collapsed face down in the water.

**Tada! Fresh from the keyboard, the next chapter, hot and fresh… well I let it sit under a heat lamp for like a few hours, but you won't know the difference, trust me! Come on!**

**Random rant time: Why is it that people that have never been in a real fight in their lives suddenly think they can step to you and try to fight you when you start answering questions about your own fights? I didn't take it seriously, but then again they didn't take me seriously. Even though I won that tournament last month people think I'm B. them. I'm not! The guy that got me to do it in the first place said that the shit would end up on Youtube. It ain't on the tube, it ain't even in his profile. I can't even prove I did it because I already spent my prize money.**

**Brand new rims… Bling Bling!**

**Not really, fuck rims. Why the hell would you put rims on a 98 Ford Taurus? I gots bills to pay.**

**My point being… I hate people… a few people… a lot of people… okay most people. About 75% of the people that I've met over the last 5 years I dislike to a certain extent ranging from, 'I'd rather be elsewhere than around this person' to 'If he opens his mouth in my presence again I'm going to curb stomp his ass.'**

**I'm a very introverted person. But if you earn my trust and are a cool person I'm as loyal as they come.**

**Rant end.**

**I was tossing around the idea of turning this to a harem, but I'm not that good to make it actually flow in my opinion, just throwing it out there. I might even start another story just to experiment and get some extra practice in writing stuff, do something.**

**Alright I'm done, it's 2 am, and I've got training in the morning. **

**Laters, Kenchi out.**


	39. Back to Uzu

Reader Shoutouts

***Apparently I do hella-awesome fight scenes seeing as how I've yet to get a single complaint for one. I'm glad people enjoyed the fight with Yagura. Seeing as how I did it from scratch without much of a reference for Yagura's fighting style I think I did a damn good job. It's good to see people liked it. I hope I didn't make Naruto seem to strong. I made it clear he was getting his ass kicked and was saved by surprise tactics before Yagura transformed. Hope my standards of awesomeness continue to please the readers.**

**KantonKageX: I would probably suck at writing harems anyway.**

**kiyomos: Yessssss…. I was about to track you down if not… I needs my privledges.**

**Jyuubi6: I'm convinced that there is no feasibly intelligent way to pull off a harem, any way I could would be relentlessly overdone. And yeah definitely, it is way too late, I'm forty freakin' chapters in, I must be retarded for even considering it at this point. I guess Jiraiya does have that effect, and about the book, I would read just to see what the big f'n deal is. Could it really be that bad… or good? …I'm almost scared of the answer.**

**raw666: It didn't take me long to come up with their strategy to win. It's a turtle demon with a demonically powered shell, and acid that can melt through anything, I love patting myself on the back for my greatness.**

**ICB-RAIDEN: Thanks for the tips on how to write a harem, I'll use it when I write a story in which I can use it. He isn't going to beat anyone he shouldn't on his own for a while. His beating Yagura is basically based off of the fact that Yagura basically sacrificed intelligence for raw power, raw power that Naruto could match along with a super strong partner.**

**Kage Biju: Dude when the description of the story said epic I didn't just mean in length, I really thought I could write something pretty damn good. I read it back myself and I like it myself. Glad you think my story is so boss status.**

**Zeromaru Chaos Mode: Dude… That's some philosophical shit right there. I think my IQ shot up a point or two reading that. Was that spur of the moment?**

**Legna-Beorn: Thanks. I like stories that sound like a story, not like dribble. Glad you think I can write. After all I wasted over ten years of my life going over this shit like everybody else I'm glad I got something out of it.**

**Raidentensho: Owned…**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Every time this thought crosses my mind tonight I'm gonna take a shot… I'm going to be hammered by 11:30, cheers.

**Chapter 39: Back to Uzu**

Naruto woke in a hospital room. Sighing as he seemingly could never escape the eternal whiteness of the hospital he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

After the battle with Yagura had ended she had signaled all of her rebels to fall back to the meeting spot. Upon seeing Yagura's dead body the ninja under his command basically surrendered on the spot, under the thought that anyone that could take out Yagura they wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell against.

With the bulk of the enemy forces converted to the rebel side by way of might makes right they proceeded to march straight into Kirigakure itself with little to no conflict. Mei and her trusted elites proceeded to get rid of all of Yagura's likeminded confidants and solidified Kiri under their rule. There were still some diehard anti-bloodline combatants around the country, but in such a small number they were nothing more than a troublesome faction that could wait to be finished off when things settled down.

After taking Kiri they had put Naruto in the hospital to heal… that was three days ago.

Naruto pulled the monitoring equipment off of him and pulled the IV out of his arm. As he held his head he stood and dressed himself, 'Well we obviously won or I'd be dead or in prison right now so where is everybody?'

Naruto shook his head and opened his window before springing out to explore the city.

XxX

Heading out he immediately saw the building with the symbol for Mizu no Kuni and began heading towards it. He was stopped by a little black-haired girl running to him pointing at his arm, "Uzumaki-sama, Uzumaki-sama!"

Naruto recoiled in shock, 'Uzumaki-_sama_? What the hell?' Naruto kneeled down to her level to look into her eyes, "Hey what's wrong? Do you need my help?"

The little girl shook her head negatively before giving him bright smile, "Your arm… You must be the one my mommy and daddy talk about! The one that made it okay for us to come here!"

Naruto looked at her sheepishly, "I guess so, it wasn't much of a big deal, it was the right thing to do."

The girl gave Naruto a hug, "Thank you so much. I'm gonna be a ninja just like you some day I want to save people too! I can do this already watch!"

Naruto watched as the girl focused and scales formed on her arms. Naruto felt her arms and noticed how tough the plates were. Naruto smiled at her as she deactivated it, "It's not anywhere near as good as mommy's or daddy's but I'll be strong just like you one day."

Naruto put his hand on her head, "With an attitude like that I'm sure you will be, what's your name so I can keep tabs on you?"

She stepped back, "I'm Remi!"

Naruto chuckled, "Take care of yourself Remi-chan." He watched the girl run off as he turned to continue along his way, "Cute kid…"

As he walked he noticed people giving him looks and whispering about him. These were different than the ones he was used to in Konoha, here in Kiri they seemed in awe of him instead of just hating him. Naruto focused his ears to hear some of the conversations he was passing.

"That's Naruto Uzumaki? The one that helped kill Yagura?"

"Konoha must be lucky to have the Fullmetal Alchemist with them, I'm glad he was on our side."

"Those whisker things make Uzumaki-sama look cute."

Naruto was in a haze as he made his way to Kiri's Mizukage Tower. In his own village he had to beat the best ninja his age and save the entire place from a rampaging demon host all in one day just to get people to stop slighting him in public, hell he even prevented the final tie to their most vaunted bloodline from defecting. Here in a place he hadn't even walked around in until right then all he had to do was assist in a major battle (Although truthfully he did the lion's share of the work and took the most of the beating) to get recognition.

He shook his head as he came to the tower, 'Wow, I don't know if I should be happy about how I'm treated in Kiri or pissed about Konoha's views on me and how the majority still sees me as a waste of life…'

As he entered the tower the guards gave him nods of respect that he returned with a smile, putting his thoughts on the backburner he had to admit it felt damn good to get credit for things like this. As he walked to the doors of the main office he noticed that she mustn't have hired an attendant yet. Naruto knocked on the door, receiving an 'enter' for his action.

Naruto walked in to see Mei in the customary robes of the Mizukage. Mei smiled at him as he sat down on the couch in the office. Naruto chuckled as he looked over the room, "So I see you've foregone wearing the hat."

Mei's mouth twitched in humor, "That eyesore messes up my hair. How are you feeling Naruto-kun, you were out for quite a while after the fight."

Naruto flexed his arm, "I'm great Mei-chan. I can't even feel it today. Almost like I never fought him, I'm good like that."

Mei nodded and crossed her hands under her chin, "Thank you for your help Naruto-kun. If it weren't for you who knows how much longer this would have gone on for or how many more lives would have been lost."

Naruto waved her off, "It's alright, I thought it was the right thing to do Yagura was doing terrible things. What kind of man would I be to be in a position to help and do nothing?"

Mei nodded, 'Best not to tell him what Ao found about Yagura's corpse then… Who knows how he would take it?'

After the battle Ao made an observation that a very faint signature was influencing Yagura's thoughts. It didn't change his personality, but it did make subliminal suggestions, explaining how a good man like Yagura could commit such atrocities. His mental defenses were worn down over a period of time lasting years, until he finally truly believed that what he was doing was for the greater good. No one could determine the source, but it was clear that no one currently in Kirigakure could have done such.

Mei sighed as she looked out over Kiri, "Well anyway, what can I do for the hero of our country?"

Naruto smiled and scratched his head, "Well you remember how I wanted to go to Uzu no Kuni? Can you take me now? Or at least point me in the right direction?"

Mei blinked, "Oh I almost forgot about that! Of course I can get someone to take you over to Uzu no Kuni and then back to the mainland. For all of your help it's the least I can do."

Naruto jumped up and pumped his fist in the air, "Oh yeah! Finally, I'm gonna find out about my family!"

Mei frowned when she looked at him so excited, "Please don't get too worked up Naruto-kun. I told you, Uzu no Kuni was basically eradicated almost twenty years ago, no one has settled since, and I don't know what you would find, if anything."

Naruto calmed down and gave her a serious look, "Whether I find anything or not isn't really a big deal to me here, it's the fact that this is as close as I've ever been to learning anything about my heritage. I didn't even know I might have had one before I came here." He softened into a smile, "Just the chance to find something out is almost a dream to me."

Naruto decided to change gears in the conversation, "Enough about me and my trials and tribulations, how are things going? Did you send out a report to the rest of the Five Great Nations to tell them the civil war is over?"

Mei grinned, "Yes I did, the first thing I did when we got here was release the information that the rebellion was successful and we are currently settling back down. We gave a detailed explanation on the reasons for the rebellion and the report on the final battle against Yagura."

Naruto nodded before freezing in place, "Wait… You're telling me you released it to ALL of the big 5? Every major hidden village? Konoha, Suna, Kumo, and Iwa?"

Mei nodded before her eyes widened in understanding, "Oh…"

XxX

(Konohagakure – Hokage Tower)

"WHAT!"

Sakura and Shizune cowered in front of Tsunade as she stood at her desk gripping a series of reports from Kirigakure. Shizune was the braver of the two, being somewhat used to it, and spoke up, "What is the problem Tsunade-sama? Is there bad news coming from Kiri?"

Tsunade sat back down with a strained smile and a tick mark on her head, "It depends on your point of view." Tsunade turned the reports over to Shizune and Sakura who perused its comments as their jaws slowly dropped. Tsunade saw their change in facial expression, "Yeah, exactly."

Sakura snapped out of it first, "It's really him. Our Naruto? _That _Fullmetal Alchemist?" Shizune grabbed her head and sat down, "Well, Do you know anyone else with a metal arm and alchemy?"

Tsunade gripped the desk hard enough to leave cracks, "What the hell is Jiraiya doing with him!"

Shizune shook her head in disbelief, "Fighting kages and ending wars? …That's our Naruto…"

"Naruto-kun what?"

As they turned to the sound of the voice they saw Kurenai leading Team 8 inside for a mission. Tsunade, knowing about Naruto and Hinata's budding little relationship motioned for her to come and read the information with a smirk on her face. As Hinata read the report her eyes widened in amazement, "N-N-Naruto-kun. H-He, oh my…"

Hinata fainted at the foot of the desk. Kiba walked over to try and awaken her, "Wow… What did she read? Is he dead or something."

Sakura shook her head with a small smile, 'Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke-kun are going to flip out when I tell them about this one.' "That's our knucklehead."

XxX

(Sunagakure – Kazekage Mansion)

As the children of the previous Kazekage the Suna siblings were quite used to being in the loop when it came to things widely known in the elemental nations, they were kept more up to date than ever by the fact that they were helping out their village by going over foreign reports.

So they all sat in the main living area, Temari reading over the foreign reports, Kankuro _not_ reading over foreign reports, just tinkering with his puppets, and Gaara doing… Gaara stuff.

Temari's eyes widened slightly as she read something in the reports for Kiri. She re-read again and again to make sure she didn't miss something, "Wow… really?"

Kankuro grunted as if asking a question and Gaara turned his eyes to his sister who had been looking over those reports for quite a while, "Temari, what is it?"

Temari quirked her eyebrows, "Well, Kirigakure ended their civil war, the bloodlines won."

Kankuro scoffed, "Good, what a stupid war. You'd think a nation would like their kekkai genkai, not try to kill them all. Good riddance."

Gaara nodded in agreement as he saw a smile slip onto Temari's face. She turned to look at her brothers with mirth in her eyes, "Well if you like that then you'll just love to hear who it is that apparently ended it all."

XxX

(Iwagakure – Tsuchikage's Office)

Ryotenbin no Onoki (Onoki of Both Scales) had been angered very much in his life. He was angered when his forces were unable to prevent the destruction of Kannabi Bridge, he was angry when his attempted assassination attempts on then Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi ended with him sending back the hitae-ates of his men with a message saying, 'Is this your shit?' He was downright enraged when he'd heard that the bulk of his invasion force had been slaughtered by one man the moment they had gotten within two days distance of Konohagakure.

The point is, while he wasn't nearly as angry now as he was then, he was still pretty pissed off.

He dropped the papers on his desk, having just read the reports from Kiri. He rubbed his temple with one hand, "Damn that boy… far worse than that damn Kiiroi Senkou was at his age. The bastard at least didn't even get named until he was an adult… Let alone kill a kage."

After hitting the intercom on his desk he only had to wait a moment for response, "Yes Tsuchikage-sama? What can I do for you?"

The eldest kage of the elemental nations almost growled out his answer, "Tell me, has Akiza Tamagawa returned from the attempted assassination on Fullmetal or did he kill her?"

After a moment the secretary responded, "He didn't kill her Tsuchikage-sama, he heavily injured her and left her where she laid. She sent us a messenger hawk when she found a place to heal. She will return when she regains full mobility."

Onoki hit the receiver once more, "Prepare a message for her if you would. Tell her not to bother coming back, tell her to find and kill Fullmetal once more without fail, make sure he's dead. And if she is unable to defeat him for a second time she might as well not even bother to return until she does kill him."

The secretary paused to write out the message, "Of course sir, we're sending it as we speak."

Onoki smirked, "Tell her that his last known sighting was in Mizu no Kuni."

XxX

(Otogakure – Unknown Area)

Orochimaru was forced to switch bodies after his Sound Four forces were unable to procure Sasuke Uchiha for his body-switching jutsu in time. After Jushiro's final technique removed his arms, and from the beating that he had taken back when he sought out Tsunade he had been forced to make the switch very soon, thus he jumped the gun and sent them after the last Uchiha before he was truly ready, or was it too late?

He wondered if it was too late because had Naruto Uzumaki not caught on to the chase during his return from his mission Sasuke would have escaped for sure. The events of the incident were recorded by Kabuto, whom he had sent to the border to meet Sasuke and spirit him away to one of Oto's hidden bases. Truthfully, Naruto and Sasuke were close enough to the border by the end of their battle that if he had arrived quicker he may have been able to finish off Naruto himself and still retrieve Sasuke.

This failed however, because just as he had seen the two, Sasuke in a crater, and Naruto standing over him, Kakashi Hatake and Jushiro Moyomoto arrived to return them both to Konoha. And so Orochimaru's plans had from that point been blown to hell. Taking a new body immediately upon hearing this news he had also learned that in the two months since the failed retrieval of his ideal vessel he had not sensed a peep from Sasuke's cursed seal, and Unlike Anko's it had been sealed to a well enough extent before it truly set in that it really wouldn't affect Sasuke in any way unless he willed it… and if the two months in question were any indication that wasn't happening again anytime soon.

Kabuto entered Orochimaru's room, glasses glinting in the dull light, "You seem to be assimilating to the new body very well Orochimaru-sama."

Orochimaru's eyes flickered in rage for a moment, "Yes… It is a shame however that my Uchiha was not able to arrive, tell me could we attempt to procure him now Kabuto?"

Kabuto shifted his glasses, "That wouldn't be the wisest course of action Orochimaru-sama. After the invasion and the fact that the Sound Four were able to slip in without alerting anyone, Konoha stepped up their defenses. Not even a bluebird could get into there without six people being right on top of it anymore."

Orochimaru gripped the armrest of his chair tightly, "Damn the Kyuubi-brat… I swear I will make him suffer for this. That piece of trash has thwarted my plans twice now."

Kabuto stood in place as a grin came on his face, "You know he's become quite the celebrity in Kirigakure… The 'Jinchuuriki Slayer' they call him now. Apparently 'Fulllmetal Alchemist' isn't enough anymore, I like that better than the other one however, originals are best after all."

Orochimaru chuckled to himself, "Tell me, would it be possible to send him a little congratulations gift?"

Kabuto turned to leave the room, "I'm sure that can be arranged, I'll make sure Naruto-kun will enjoy it."

XxX

(Kirigakure – Mizukage's Tower)

Mei blinked before smiling apologetically, "…Whoops? Sorry Naruto-kun."

Naruto gnashed his teeth together, 'That is just great… Let's make the bullseye painted on my back a little bigger why don't we? *sigh* Ero-sennin is going to be PISSED when he finds me.'

Naruto sighed out loud and gave her a half-lidded look, "I really don't need any attention like that… but whatever. Don't worry about it, it's too late now. All I have to do is survive for about four more months and I should be fine."

Mei bit her lip, "Do you still need a ride to Uzu no Kuni? A big ship won't make it through but I'm sure I can get you a smaller vessel strong enough to get to the shore."

Naruto stroked his chin, "A small boat… Ugh, not my idea of safe. Floating aimlessly in the ocean looking for an island surrounded by whirlpools." Naruto tilted his head in a contemplative manner, "Actually, I think I have my own way to get across the ocean." Naruto reached into his vest pocket and pulled out his world map, "If you could just give me accurate coordinates then I can get there myself… No offense, but moving with a group of people would make it harder for me to fall off of the grid after my little side trip. I'm gonna need to vanish in a hurry after this is all said and done."

Mei looked like she wanted to object by saying it would be safer if she could send someone with him, but she relented. He probably had his own reasons for wanting to keep low-profile, and besides that, how could she tell the guy that just helped her kill the last Mizukage in a full-scale fight that she thought it was too dangerous to let him move about alone?

A sharp look from Naruto thoroughly quelled that line of thought. She nodded as she took his map from him and began to mark it, "Uzu no Kuni is roughly 14 hours away from the eastern side of the country by boat, I don't know how you plan on getting there so I don't know how long it will take you."

Naruto nodded as he took the map back from her, "Cool, anything I should know?"

Mei just shrugged, "No one really knows. All I can tell you is that the entire island is surrounded by massive whirlpools, no weakspots. Other than that nobody is alive that can tell you anything else."

Naruto grunted, "Meh, fuck it… guess I'm just flying by the seat of my pants again right? My specialty."

Mei giggled, "Well feel free to stay here as long as you like to prepare the next leg of your journey. I can make sure you have a hotel room. Naruto Uzumaki will always be welcome in Kirigakure."

Naruto grinned widely, "Thank you Mei-chan I appreciate it."

XxX

Naruto stayed in Kirigakure for three more days before setting out for the coast. He was accompanied to the edge of the misty woods by Ao who stopped him as they exited.

"Hey Naruto." The boy in question turned to the man who fished for something in his pocket, "Mizukage-sama told me to give you something before you dropped off of the face of the planet for Kami knows how long"

Naruto looked on inquisitively as Ao pulled out a sealed manila folder, "What is this?"

Ao shrugged, "Hell if I know kid. I'm just the messenger here."

Ao turned and waved at Naruto over his shoulder, "I'll see you around kid, thanks for everything. Don't go and die on us anytime soon now after the crap you pulled in this country."

Naruto smirked and waved back as the man vanished back into the mist. Naruto pocketed the folder and headed to the coast, opting to keep the contents of the folder secret until he was well on his way to Uzu no Kuni.

XxX

After a few hours of traveling he made it to the sea. He didn't bother stopping at some random port, he simply headed to the beach, no one needed to ever know how he left the country.

Naruto rubbed his hands together, "Okay I hope I get a good one." Naruto bit his thumb and made his hand-signs, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!"

In a puff of smoke a small red toad with a little jacket on appeared, "**Hey there. Hey, are you that Naruto kid that my dad was talking about?**"

Naruto shrugged, "Well I've only summoned one toad so I guess your dad is Gamabunta because he's the only one of you guys that's seen me since I signed the contract. Yeah, I'm Naruto, what's up?"

The little toad put out a webbed hand, "**Dad told us all about you, how you goaded him into fighting that giant sand tanuki, I thought that was hilarious. I'm Gamakichi by the way, nice to meet 'cha!**"

Naruto smiled as he shook his diminutive summon creature's hand, "Awesome, hey since you're here can you tell me which toad I could summon if I wanted to get somewhere across the ocean?"

Gamakichi thought for a moment, "**Uh yeah. I think if you summon a toad named Gamakouryo you can cross.**"

Naruto let out a small victory cheer, "Okay then, you're my random hero of the day Gamakichi!"

Gamakichi dragged one of his feet in the sand, "**Well if you're that grateful then can I have some candy?**"

Naruto stared for a moment before a grin spread on his face, "Well if you can help me out every time I summon you I'll give you something every time." Naruto fished in his pack before pulling out a chocolate bar. Hey, ninja or not he's still a thirteen year-old kid.

After handing the bar to Gamakichi he bit his thumb again to summon, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Gamakouryo!" This time however the puff of smoke revealed a larger toad, roughly the size of a small yacht.

As the frog faced Naruto he stared for a minute, "**Hey there kid. I assume seeing as there isn't anyone around you were the one that summoned me. What do you need?**"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Well if it isn't too much trouble could you give me a lift to an island a few hours away?"

The toad looked out at the ocean before wading into the water, "**Come on then kid, let's get going.**"

Naruto grinned and hopped on. As he settled in a decent spot to sit Gamakichi sat on his shoulder, "Hey Gamakichi, you still here?"

Gamakichi nodded, "**You seem like a decent guy, I think I might hang around for a while.**"

Naruto shrugged, "You're free to do what you want, I'm sure me and Gamakouryo could use some company for a bit."

With that Gamakouryo set out with the boy and the smaller toad as passengers.

XxX

As the toad got further from shore a figure from the woods stood out on the beach formerly populated by Naruto.

A familiar tanned girl stepped onto the sand looking out onto the horizon. The ponytail with the two bangs framing her face and the forest green eyes were the same but her outfit had changed. In addition to just the beige vest on her chest she had on a black skirt with silver patterning in the shape of a dragon.

The girl clutched the message from the Tsuchikage in her hand, crumbling it before tossing it into the water, "I'm coming for you Fullmetal… To hell with capturing you this time, I have explicit orders to kill. You'll never get me like in Resembool again. I hope you're ready."

Omake: Letters from Konoha 1

_Dear runt,_

_It's me, your favorite big brother… your only big brother, whatever listen up. Things have been going smoothly since you left two months ago, being a chunin has gotten kind of monotonous. The B-ranked missions are pretty straightforward and easy and the C-ranked ones are damnably mind-numbing, I guess they only get cool when your ass is involved huh?_

_I fear my time on this earth is short however. As you know, me and Haku-chan are doing the do… like a lot. Like so much that she went out and got a few home pregnancy tests and birth control stuff in case I get stupid and don't wrap it up beforehand so that we don't end up with you being an uncle when you get back. (Smart right?) Well, ever since your little outburst a few months ago Zabuza has been very paranoid. By paranoid I mean breaking into both of our apartments randomly trying to catch us in the act._

_On one of his little infiltrations into Haku-chan's house she had just gotten back from the store and had not gotten around to stashing her purchases… Well guess what old no-brows ended up finding?_

_Do not bother returning to Konoha to save me, for by the time you read this I may already be dead. Enclosed with the letter is the rest of my pay from our bet in large bills and a copy of my will, stamped and approved by the Godaime Hokage. I love you little brother, take care of yourself… And watch out for your girlfriend's psycho dad whenever you meet him, don't make my mistake. If I do not send word within two weeks of you getting this letter assume the worst and plan accordingly. _

_Sincerely,"The Armory Alchemist" Jushiro Moyomoto._

**I'm enjoying writing this story. I kind of want to make a rough estimate at how many pages I've written but I'm too lazy to try and count so fuck it I'll just count one chapter worth of pages and guesstimate. Why? Because that's the American way.**

**I might start trying to write more omakes. They seem like a cool little break from just straightforward storytelling and I have a skull full of randomness so why the hell not? I do have one issue though that has me befuddled.**

**Dude… I have over 5000 visitors for THIS MONTH and I only have like maybe 40-60 reviews this month. That is disheartening. 19000 hits this month and nothing to show for it, ain't that about a bitch?**

**Kenchi out**


	40. SSDD

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. You know how people are always like, "I wish real life was like that?" No, no they don't. The thing that people fail to realize, as they dream of launching superpowers across the landscape, is the amounts of wanton destruction and loss of life that that these series entails. All of the shit that gets blown up and utterly raped by the characters in their fights? It's no wonder you never hear anyone talk about insurance at all, no could afford it even if they had it! Do you ever think about certain moments, like when Itachi and Kisame attacked Naruto at that hotel? Let's take note of the damage:

Sasuke ripped a fucking gouge in the wall with Chidori (And I still don't understand the tactical value of dragging your arm along a wall as if he was running with a marker at the age of 6) that was at least twenty-five feet long, one-and-a-half feet wide, and seven inches deep.

Kisame smashed the ceiling with his sword, and I think the ground too.

I know Itachi cracked a wall when he slammed Sasuke against it, and then he goes and blows out an entire wall all the way through leaving a big-ass gaping hole with unquenchable black fire around the edge so that they could escape.

How much do you think all of that shit costs? And that wasn't even a real fight! Fuck owning a business in that world, it wouldn't be worth it. I could come up with several other examples right off of the top of my head, some of which are pretty hilarious to actually think about and analyze from a realistic point of view, just from the Naruto series. I'm not even going to get into the borderline genocidal shit that goes down in Fullmetal Alchemist, not even counting the Ishvalans.

Now I'm a tough guy, but I have no delusions of how quickly I would die if I lived in Naruto's world, not even as a ninja (I probably wouldn't even be very good), I'd probably get my ass killed as a regular guy caught in the crossfire, because when you have dozens of muther-effers launching big-ass fireballs in random directions someone's gonna get hit eventually and with my luck it would probably be me, I'd go out as collateral damage. So nope, you can keep that shit, I don't want it.

Random rant over, enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter 40: S.S.D.D.**

Naruto was at sea atop Gamakouryo, with Gamakichi still tagging along. They weren't, however, heading to Uzu no Kuni, they were returning from Uzu no Kuni. You would expect Naruto to be smiling or at least perusing over artifacts and other things, like jutsu scroll, or historical texts, and normally he would be… if he had found anything.

Yes Naruto stayed on the island for four days, going over every inch of the landscape with a fine-toothed comb, and found absolutely nothing, not even the hidden village that the island used to have, only finding wide fields, and many waterways varying in size. Majestic scenery? Yes. Useful to a thirteen-going-on-fourteen year old boy searching for any finding on his heritage? Hell no.

When he was told that Kirigakure had sacked the country and eradicated it he really had underestimated just what was implied when he was told that it had been eradicated. There was NOTHING.

No towns, no buildings, not even any damn ruins. There was nothing there. It turned out to be a glorified camping trip.

Naruto mentally damned the Sandaime Mizukage with the most colorful and vulgar displays of linguistic knowledge that he could muster, much to Kyuubi's entertainment.

After he chalked his mission of personal discovery up as a monumental failure he hopped back on his summon and decided to head back to the mainland of the elemental nations where he had been alternating between brooding at an Uchiha-esque level and cursing at the top of his lungs out at the empty ocean, much to the dismay of the summoned creatures in his company.

Naruto was sitting on his larger summon grinding his teeth in anger, he hadn't spoken since he re-summoned Gamakouryo, Gamakichi had tagged along the entire way not bothering to de-summmon himself. All of the time he had spent wasted, Gamakichi noticed the mind-state of his new friend, "**Hey nii-san, don't worry about it. You'll find something eventually. This was just your first time trying to find something.**"

Naruto sighed as he pounded his right fist into his other hand, "Still Gamakichi, I'm still no closer to knowing a damn thing than I've been in the last ten years… and now I've got it on the brain again." Naruto pounded himself in the head as he growled, "Grr, I can't believe I let myself get so fired up about this." Naruto sighed as he shook his head, "Whatever, I'll get along…"

He knew he had to get it off of his brain for the time being. He was out in open water and when he landed he still had no idea where he would go next. He was really hoping that he could have spent some time in Uzu no Kuni, at least a month or two. He would have gotten a chuckle out of getting Jiraiya to find him from there.

Naruto grabbed his pack and opened it up to check his supplies and his map. As he went through his things he picked up the package from Mei that was given to him by Ao. Realizing that he hadn't opened it he popped it open and dumped out the contents before turning bright red and going wide-eyed.

Gamakichi hopped over and got a grin on his face. The amphibian hopped on Naruto's shoulder as he was still dumbfounded, "**Way to go nii-san! I didn't know you got girls like that!**"

Mei had generously taken some very provocative photos of herself and given them to the hero of her country as a gift along with a note telling him to look her up in a few years. Kyuubi was silently fuming in his head, '**Damn that kage-hussy. Trying to taint my Naru-kun, only I can taint him!**'

Before blacking out Naruto could only say one thing, "Fuck you Big Boss I knew I was the man…"

XxX

(Meanwhile – Konohagakure – Training Ground 44 Forest of Death)

"AACHOOO!"

Jushiro held his mouth in panic as he hid high up in the canopy of the abnormally large trees. He had been running from Zabuza for days, only stopping to hunt, eat, and drink. He had truly underestimated the extent of Zabuza's fury, trying to lose Zabuza in the Forest of Death was perhaps the stupidest thing he had ever done bar none.

Three days of running from Zabuza. After a chase around the village that lasted for hours and caused countless amounts of property damage Jushiro figured he could shake Zabuza in the dangerous training ground.

Wrong.

It actually played right towards Zabuza's strengths. After a few close calls early on where his only warning was a thick mist descending on the area he had avoided deadly skirmishes with the swordsman for an entire day. He couldn't fight, he'd be killed in seconds.

As he shook like a leaf as he hid a voice shook him up.

"Hey brat what are you doing here?"

Jushiro snapped around to find Anko in the same hiding spot as him. Jushiro hissed out a whisper, "Anko! What do you want? I'm busy! Can't you see I'm hiding?"

Anko smiled pleasantly at him, "I just wanted to know why you were skulking around in my forest? You look so haggard kid."

Jushiro whipped his head around looking for his psychopathic pursuer, "I did some… things… with Haku-chan and Zabuza busted my ass and now I'm running to save my balls; my sweet, sweet balls."

Anko nodded sagely, "So you got caught smashing it with your ice chick and now Zabu-chan wants your nuts?"

Jushiro nodded, "That's basically the gist of it. Why do you want to know anyway?"

Anko's grin almost split her face, "Oh that's easy. Zabu-chan told me that if I could distract you long enough he'd pay for my bar tab and my dango for a week and that I'd get to watch."

Jushiro raised an eyebrow, "Distract? Watch what?"

Jushiro went pale as he finally sensed the presence of the silent killing master by his side staring at him with bloodshot eyes while gripping Kubikiri Hocho, "Hello _son_… Let's have that talk now…"

Jushiro turned towards Anko with a dead-pan expression, "Oh you can just suck it."

Anko kept up her grin, "Now, now brat. Isn't that what got you in trouble in the first place?"

Jushiro felt Zabuza grab his shoulder as he whimpered, "I'm just a boy…"

Zabuza chuckled darkly, "Oh no punk… You're a man, you made damn sure of that didn't you?"

XxX

(Shores of Hi no Kuni)

Naruto had just sent Gamakouryo and Gamakichi back to Myoboku as he heard an unholy screeching shout of agony from a distance that sounded vaguely like 'I regret nothing', "What the fuck was that?"

Naruto shook his head as he began walking towards the nearest town he could find.

Trudging in a random direction he came to a sign at a crossroad, telling him he was near Cha no Kuni (Land of Tea). Naruto smiled wearily, "Border town… so sweet."

After walking for another hour just as dusk fell Naruto arrived in the nameless border town and quickly procured a hotel room. As he was given his key the friendly manager on staff told him they were serving dinner for guests in the cafeteria.

Not one to turn down free food he took the offer. As he grabbed a plate full of home-cooked food (HE wished it was ramen) and took a seat he ate in silence, 'Now where am I going to go? Uzu no Kuni was a dead-end, and I'm not heading back Konoha's way.'

As he pulled out a map he proceeded to eat and look over his map once again, 'Let's see, not going to Takigakure, and Kaze no Kuni's border is on the other side of the country, I'm kind of going the wrong way for that. Kusagakure and Tsuchi no Kuni (Land of Earth) are also on the other side of the country. I'm damn sure not going to Ta no Kuni (Land of Rice Fields) because I'm not fucking suicidal.'

As he was in thought over his next destination a lady took a seat next to him. The woman had on a grey cloak with a hood that obscured her facial features from view. She smiled as she saw the boy going over his map vigorously, "Someone looks busy. Doing some traveling?"

Naruto snapped out of his musings as he saw the upturned lips of the lady next to him, the rest of her kept out of sight, "Uh, yeah, I'm kind of just wandering around the elemental nations, just kind of waiting for someone to find me."

The woman nodded, "You have a guardian then? Someone to take care of you?"

Naruto snorted, "No, not really. He's more of my sensei than anything. I don't have a guardian. Big Boss doesn't count, he was just as lost growing up as I was. I don't need one either, I'm a ninja."

The woman chuckled slightly, "Such a strong willed boy. Can I ask you your name if you don't mind?"

Naruto blinked in confusion. Why did this woman want his name? Did he know her or something? He mentally acquiesced as he couldn't really find a real reason not to tell her, "I'm Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki. Who are you lady?"

She stood back up laughing to herself, "Oh don't worry about that. I'm no one important to you right now."

Naruto just watched as the woman walked out of the cafeteria, "Weird…"

XxX

Naruto went up to his room after dinner, showered, and proceeded to sleep, however his dreams were plagued by his thoughts of what he thought he would find in Uzu no Kuni; people, landmarks, buildings, cities. Then it changed to what he actually found, nothing.

Naruto growled as his dream progressed and left him standing in a vacant field, "Alright, time to take control of this bullshit. Kyuubi-chan!"

At his call Kyuubi materialized in front of him, rubbing her eyes, "**What's the matter Naruto-kun? I was sleeping…**"

Naruto scoffed and crossed his arms, "You're always freaking sleeping. Even when I try talking during the day you're always sleeping, I don't know when to catch you."

Kyuubi gave a half-hearted glare, tails whipping around, "**You don't have to be such a bastard about it though.**"

Naruto chuckled and wagged his finger, "Ah, but I am a bastard, remember? Even more so now than ever. I might as well just admit it, I'll never find out anything about my family."

Kyuubi rolled her eyes, "**Oh stop being so negative Naru-kun, someone in Konoha knows **_**something**_**. They have to, who just plucks up random orphans and sticks massive demons of destruction in them?**"

Naruto shook his head, "I guess it doesn't really matter at this point anyway. I mean, will finding something out actually change anything about my life? I kind of doubt it. My life is kind of not on the beaten path anyway when you think about it."

Kyuubi smiled and put her hands on his shoulders, "**That's better! You've gone for this long without knowing anything, at least you have some basic knowledge now! It's better than nothing.**"

Naruto and Kyuubi spent the rest of the night in his head cataloging his useful knowledge of alchemy and coming up with ways to improve on what he had, in addition to trying to stabilize himself during the use of her chakra. Until a loud banging noise woke him up the next morning.

Naruto's eyes opened groggily as the banging occurred every few seconds. He shuffled out of bed to answer the door, "What? Hold on damn it."

Naruto opened the door to find a tan girl around his age with a pony-tail of brown hair behind her. Her jounin vest was open enough to show cleavage and in addition to that she had on a black skirt. She had bags under her eyes showing her lack of rest and there was something about her that felt familiar but he just couldn't place it. Shrugging it off, he simply shut the door and headed back to bed.

The girl was absolutely stunned, he completely just brushed her off like she was nothing. She resumed pounding on the door until it was opened once again by Naruto.

Naruto stood staring at the seemingly angry girl for a minute, "I don't do escort service girls you know? And isn't it too early to be trying that anyway?"

The girl just kept her pissed off look on her face, "Do you know what I had to go through to catch you Fullmetal?"

Naruto lifted an eyebrow as he looked her over, "How could I? It's not like I was there with you or something?"

Her eye twitched as she looked over at him, "How did you get on the island damn it! All of those giant whirpools destroyed my boat! The island was surrounded by them! All you had was a stupid toad!"

(_Flashback – 5 days ago – Uzu no Kuni_)

"_How the fuck am I supposed to get past this!"_

_Right ahead of Gamakouryo was a whirlpool fifty feet in circumference. Naruto was freaking out at the sight of the thing, "Is this shit even natural! The intel on this place sucks! No one ever told me exactly HOW Kiri got on the island in the first place!"_

_Gamakouryo looked up at his summoner, "__**You want to get past that kid?**__" Upon seeing Naruto nod he lifted a webbed hand out of the water and grabbed Naruto._

_Naruto blinked as his yacht sized summon took him in his grasp, "Uh, Gamakouryo? What are you about to do with me?_"

_The toad smirked from under the waves and cocked his arm back before launching Naruto over the whirpools, "Fuck you toaaaaddddd!"_

_(End Flashback)_

Naruto chuckled, "That's right, he is a stupid toad. But damn, he had an arm though…" Akiza just stood staring in disbelief as Naruto felt uncomfortable, "Hey are you alright?"

Akiza began loudly cursing, "You got a fucking toad to THROW you over the whirlpools and onto the island? You are the worst kind of arch-bastard!"

Naruto squinted his eyes in concentration, "Hey, do I know you?"

The girl stomped her foot in a haughty fashion, "How can you forget someone that almost killed you!"

Naruto picked his ear and flicked it away, "Meh… If I kept tabs on that then I would have a head full of useless names. So I assume you've tried to kill me before then?"

The girl took on a prideful pose, "Yes I did, my name is Akiza if you forgot. You got lucky last time, I underestimated you, but this time you can't escape, I have to finish you off, and there's no order telling me to keep you alive."

Naruto looked at her in confusion, "If you couldn't beat me in a straight fight then why the hell are you telling me you're trying to kill me? Wouldn't an ambush work better for that?"

Akiza was gaping like a fish in front of him before looking at him angrily, "Shut up Fullmetal! I'm still going to kill you, in a straight-up fight or otherwise, it doesn't matter."

Naruto looked at him through half-lidded eyes for a second before opening his mouth, "Um… I have just one thing to say to you about that…. Boom."

Akiza's eyes widened as the entire doorway of Naruto's room was filled in a massive explosion.

XxX

Naruto had actually made a kage bunshin after shutting the door the first time and had hightailed it before it had re-opened the door. He truthfully did remember Akiza as the girl he had fought in Resembool, 'I thought I told that bitch that I would kill her next time anyone from Iwa showed up to try and kill me!'

Naruto ran in the direction of heading deeper within Cha no Kuni travelling quickly through the woods, "One Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion) isn't going to be enough to take her out, I know it!" Naruto's fears were answered as a series of stone spikes rose from the ground to impale him. Naruto jumped aside and turned around to see Akiza walking up wiping soot off of her body.

Akiza had on an arrogant smirk as she made her way over to him, "Again with your suicidal clones Fullmetal?" She summoned her naginata and pointed it at him, "That was a decent little plan though."

Naruto groaned under his breath, "My name is Naruto. My mother didn't name me Fullmetal Alchemist damn it, it's a title. Fullmetal isn't my first name."

Akiza spun her naginata lazily at she stared through the trees at her target, "It won't matter what your name is Fullmetal. In just a minute or two you'll be dead, and I'll be famous. The woman that killed the jinchuuriki slayer."

"I'm famous? For real? *sigh* Damn it Mei-chan, you and your fine-ness." Naruto shrugged and tossed aside his cloak, "Fine, I don't care, bring it on already. I already beat you once so let's do this, I need to vent some frustrations anyway."

Akiza shook her head, "It won't be so easy this time little boy. Like I said, you got lucky last time."

Naruto clapped and formed his arm-blade, "All I'm hearing is blah, blah, blah, and you're barely older than me. Let's do this, I've got stuff to do."

Akiza rushed in, "Gladly." She began making slashes with her halberd that Naruto dodged deftly, he had learned from his last fight with Akiza that he had neglected his speed and agility, figuring that the toughness of his arm would be enough to protect him from most things and so he worked on his speed and dexterity while he had been with Jiraiya before they separated.

Naruto grinned at the girl's attempts to split him in two, "Hold still you bloody bastard!"

As the two continued engaging in their dance of death and steel Naruto chuckled, "What's the matter? You're still banking on just your 'Eternal Halberd' to beat people like me into the dirt?"

Akiza growled as she increased the tempo of her assault, "Just shut up! You humiliated me last time! I can't let you get away with it!" Akiza backed off just enough to throw her halberd at Naruto who dodged and looked at the weapon fly past .

He turned back to look at Akiza, "Is that the best you've go-."

Akiza was flying through hand signs at rapid speed as if her life depended on it, because it probably did, "Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Dragon Jutsu)!"

The ground shook as ten feet away a dragon emerged from the earth and flew at Naruto quickly. He panicked as there was no time to prepare a response jutsu as he clapped and prepared a transmutation, but it wasn't nearly fast enough as it hit him head on and sent him flying through the woods before crashing with a dull thud against a tree trunk.

Naruto sat still, slowly groaning as he took catalogue of his accumulated damage. He felt his left shoulder dislocate on impact with the tree and could feel warm trickling slipping down the back of his head where it smacked the hard wood. Naruto hissed and spit blood as he attempted to stand due to the pain of broken ribs on his left side, "Damn it that was unpleasant…"

Naruto could hear Akiza trudging through the surrounding area, taunting him in a sing-song voice, "Oh Fullmetal come out here for me. How do you like my jutsu? I took your words to heart since last time and I have to say, very good advice!"

Naruto grit his teeth and stood before rapidly limping away to put some space between them, 'Damn it, this is the second time I've had to run like a bitch from this girl just to recover from her beatings. This is the one time that I wish someone had just went ahead and ignored my taunting.'

As he came to rest in a group of bushes he sat down in a heap, 'Kyuubi-chan, can you help me out, and give me a guess of how soon I'll be able to at least move right again?'

After a moment the voice in his head answered, "**Naruto-kun I can fix you in roughly ten minutes or so, but I can't do anything about your shoulder, you have to do that yourself, just jerk it back in.**"

Naruto sweat-dropped and bit his lip, 'Jerk it back in? Kyuubi-chan that shit hurts!'

Kyuubi roared at him in response, "**Well that's too damn bad! You should have just killed her straight out when you saw her at the hotel, but you had to be too much of a bleeding heart again and just try to get away.**"

Naruto found a stick off of the ground and put it in his mouth, 'Well I just can't kill girls like that, it's not my thing, it must have something to do with you, who knows?'

Kyuubi snorted to herself, "**Whatever kit, you probably just have mommy issues.**"

Naruto chuckled to himself as he breathed heavily and grabbed his arm, 'Well calling me 'kit' sure does help me get over them doesn't it?'

Naruto didn't bother to hear her reply as he sharply pulled his shoulder up and pulled it back into its rightful alignment. Naruto let out a low groan of pain before ducking just in time for the tops of his bushes to be cleaved off by Akiza's weapon.

Naruto rolled before standing back up with a groan, 'Ribs still broken… Damn.'

Akiza clapped her hands as she stared Naruto down, "Very good Fullmetal, You actually made me work a little bit to find you."

Naruto chuckled humorlessly, "Fuck you, you rock bitch…"

Akiza bared her teeth in an angry fashion, "What was that? 'Rock bitch' you say?"

Naruto chuckled to himself, "Well yeah, you keep calling me 'Fullmetal' even though I have a name so I gave you one. You keep trying to kill me, and you're from Iwa, and you have a very condescending personality, hence 'crazy rock bitch' or just 'rock bitch' for short."

Akiza pointed her naginata at Naruto, "I'll call you your name when you die for me."

Naruto flipped her off, "I'll call you yours after you get out of my face and let me be. Now go away before I start getting nasty."

Akiza ran at him once again, "Not a chance Fullmetal I can't let you live!"

Naruto began trading swings with her once again with his arm blade. Naruto found it almost effortless however to overpower her and throw her off-balance by just blocking and returning direct attacks to her. Even when she blocked he still forced her to stumble, it made Naruto almost ignore the fact that she was a jounin and look at it in a new aspect.

Naruto locked into a struggle against her, "You know, I have a new thing to gripe about how you fight dear."

Akiza tried pushing back but Naruto barely budged if he did at all, "I don't care Fullmetal, now shut up and let's do this!"

Naruto pushed her halberd closer to her body so he could get a better look at her, "You don't fight like a girl."

Akiza's eyes widened before she sneered at him, "Fuck you, you chauvinist piece of-."

Naruto cut her off with a knee to her body before he grabbed the shaft of her naginata and flung her against a tree, "I'm way stronger than you because of… reasons. And even if I wasn't, you couldn't be any older than one year above me, I'm stronger than you and you're fucking getting into tests of strength against me? Fight like a girl! Go for angles! Try to catch me flat-footed and take me down that way, don't come in charging headstrong!"

Akiza stood up slowly, "So… Being physically stronger than me is your big advantage eh? Not anymore Fullmetal." Naruto felt the fluctuation of chakra coming from her and before he could attack she spoke her jutsu, "Iwa no Yoroi (Stone Armor)!" Naruto saw Akiza glisten in the sunlight slipping through the trees once as a smile came to her face.

It wasn't a condescending smirk or a maniacal grin, it was an honest, true smile from someone trying to kill him, and that freaked Naruto out more than anything. Akiza spoke, "I want to thank you Fullmetal. In the past five months I feel as if I have grown as a shinobi more than I have in almost five years. Chasing you and subsequently fighting you has forced me to learn, adapt and get better. It's kind of a shame that I have to kill you here. I kind of respect you."

Naruto kept himself in his stance as he looked the girl over, "If you like me and you don't really hate me then why kill me? Don't give me that 'it was an order' crap. You should have some free will over what you do."

Akiza shook her head sadly, "But that's what it is. You were starting to scare the Tsuchikage, and after my attempt to kidnap you failed he told me to just go ahead and kill you. You're getting too strong Fullmetal. You're getting too strong and our Tsuchikage wants you to die before you get even stronger and become a problem for him."

Naruto shook his head, "I don't have any issues with Iwa… Well I didn't until you started trying to kill me. And tons of ninja have to be getting better all over the continent, so why me?"

As she thought over his question she had a flashback to her academy history class and one picture passed through her mind. Akiza's eyes hardened before she shook her head, "You look like him…"

Naruto didn't follow her line of thought, "Look like who? I don't get it, you hate me because of how I look?"

Akiza gripped her weapon tightly, "It doesn't matter anymore, it's too late. Get ready for me, it's time for us to end this!"

As she rushed forward Naruto set himself in a defensive stance. As he blocked Akiza's swing he knew something was off, namely when he crashed face-first into the ground. Akiza kicked him in the crown of his head, sending him flying back ten feet.

Naruto woozily stood to his feet as blood began pouring from the top of his head, "Wha- what the hell was that?"

Akiza walked slowly, "This is my Iwa no Yoroi technique. You said I wasn't strong enough to fight the way I do? Well this fixes that for me. It multiplies my natural strength so that I can fight people like you that can overpower me."

Naruto's speed and strength hadn't been increasing the normal way, he still did normal exercises that increased strength, but that was more to get himself accustomed to what he actually had been doing to grow in strength. He had Kyuubi jumpstart his natural growth and pump him with her own energy to get him to grow in her own way.

After an explanation from Kyuubi he learned that every night she pumped him steadily full of her chakra, letting it circulate through his body to bolster growth. Kyuubi figured that three months of Naruto going through this treatment gave him natural strength greater than most chunin, and speed just below jounin level, not nearly as fast as Rock Lee without his weights, but damn well enough to overwhelm most enemies when he turns the heat on.

So for someone to have a greater physical presence than him at this point in time that was pretty significant. Naruto palmed his forehead, "How can you do this stuff when you're fourteen! I'm not even fourteen yet!"

Akiza giggled, "It's not like you're a weak ninja Fullmetal, I'm just a little bit better."

Naruto smirked, "Getting a little ahead of ourselves aren't we? I'm not dead yet!" And with that Naruto formed five kage bunshin and sent them out to gauge her reactions in combat. The bunshin set out in a whirlwind of offense against her, but even when they made contact with Akiza she would dispel them after they hit her, even a slash from a bunshin's arm-blade did nothing against her.

Akiza popped the bunshin and wagged her finger in a chiding fashion. "Fullmetal didn't you hear me? It's _armor_. Your attacks won't get through. I don't even like this jutsu, it's not even sporting. As soon as I use it you can't hurt me anymore."

Akiza held her hand up and let it gleam in the sunlight, "You told me to learn new jutsu, you told me to get better, and then you beat it into my head to make sure it stuck. That is why I thank you Fullmetal."

Naruto had on a nervous grin, "Glad to help. I don't think you'll let me live after you beat my ass would you?"

"Nope."

"Didn't think so. So I guess I have to win then huh?" Naruto clapped and put his hands to the ground to force spiked chains of hardened materials to fly at Akiza. As the spiked tips collided with her body she just stood there with a smile.

"Didn't hurt."

Naruto sweat-dropped, "Not even a little bit?"

"Not even a bit."

"Fuck!" Naruto turned to run away but as he turned Akiza launched her weapon at him, forcing it to pierce his left shoulder. Before he could even turn Akiza grabbed a hold of the halberd and kicked Naruto off of the blade, sending him flying into the foliage.

Akiza watched, knowing that he had scrambled to his feet and fled the scene in a tactical retreat, "Damn, I just don't know my own strength."

XxX

Naruto ran as fast as his legs could carry him, The wound on his shoulder was deep, "Damn she just had to get me in the same arm twice didn't she?" Fleeing through the forest he eventually fell down a small bluff. Rolling through the rocks and dirt he came to a stop amid pebbles by the side of a river.

Naruto just laid face-down grabbing pebbles in his hands and bleeding out into the river, "Ugh… She's way tougher than she was last time. I barely had to try once I got my arm back last time, and now I had it from the start and I'm getting slaughtered."

"You probably should have killed me last time Fullmetal."

Naruto raised his head to see Akiza glistening in the sun walking towards him. Naruto sighed as he slowly stood back up, "**I knew you should have killed that bitch last time Naruto-kun.**"

Naruto ignored Kyuubi and faked confidence, "What's up baby, nice shine, can get a little wiggle for my troubles?"

Akiza shook her head, "A joker to the end. I'm sorry but you have to die today."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, "Why? This is the stupidest reason ever to want to kill me. There's not a whole lot of incentive for a ninja to get stronger these days huh? Get strong and then have everyone after your head just because you're strong. That's inspiring."

Akiza bit her lip as she looked at the heavily bleeding blonde, "I honestly don't want to kill you, but I have to."

Naruto spit blood on the ground, "If you don't want to kill me then don't."

"I have to."

"Why?"

"I JUST HAVE TO OKAY!"

They stood in silence for a while before Naruto sighed, "Well this is it then. It's you or me I guess."

Akiza nodded, "For what it's worth I don't think you're a bad person. You just came up in the wrong place at the wrong time. You got too strong too fast, and you're Konoha's ninja. That's a bad combination if you want to stay off of Iwa's map. The fact that you look like _him_ doesn't help either."

Naruto shook his head, "I can't let you kill me. I still have things left to do, I'm going to beat you, dust you off, pick you up, and send you home."

Akiza cringed when he said 'send you home,' something that wasn't missed by Naruto, "You can't go home can you? Not until you kill me anyway." Akiza nodded forcing Naruto to sigh, "You're never going to leave me alone until I'm dead right?"

After she nodded Naruto shook his head, "I don't want to hear anymore or know anymore. Come at me, and don't hold back."

Akiza gripped her naginata tightly and rushed forward. Naruto once again began engaging her in a furious flurry of attack, only this time when she swung at him he had to dodge, no more blocking for him.

Naruto caught an opening after Akiza overextended on a swing, leaving her wide open. Naruto delivered a heavy haymaker with his arm-blade out right to her temple. However on contact the shot bounced off of her head like a stone.

Akiza's grin unnerved him, "The stones all around us are naturally re-enforcing my Iwa no Yoroi. If you had landed that shot in the forest you might have killed me, but out here my armor is harder than steel. Brute force can't harm me anymore."

Naruto gulped audibly as she rushed him and punched him in the face with surprising speed sending him stumbling back for yards. Akiza popped him in the face with the handle of her naginata forcing him to spit blood. He spun over on the ground, planted his limbs firmly, and delivered a bone-shattering single-leg mule kick to her body.

Bone-shattering it was, but it still didn't hurt her. Luckily this wasn't really the important part. The armor stopped her from taking any real damage, but it didn't increase her weight or mass, she was still just the same as before, she just couldn't be injured, and that, coupled with as strong as Naruto was, sent _her_ flying for a change.

Right into the river.

Why is this important you ask?

Well the Iwa no Yoroi actually did have a few weaknesses, the singular most massive, glaring one was water. The armor absorbed the materials from the rocks around it to make it stronger, but that made it very absorbent for some reason.

It also made her sink like a rock.

Akiza fought to stay above water as the river began to carry her downstream, but the armor was dragging her down and taking all of her energy just to breach the surface for breaths of air. She eventually gave up and ended the jutsu, which also had the side-effect of taking a lot of her chakra upon ending the jutsu.

Naruto saw her pass out on the top of the water and took pity on her. Dying by way of drowning would be too cruel to do to someone just doing their job so he walked on the water over to her and dragged her out before carrying her to shore. Naruto shook his head in disbelief, "How anti-climactic… A river. No amazing show of tactical brilliance, no massive overpowering show of force, no clash of final high-level jutsu. Nope, she just fell into a river and she can't swim."

After making sure she could breathe he readied his arm-blade to finish her off.

But he simply dropped his hand and transmuted his arm back to normal before turning to walk away, holding his wounded shoulder. Before he got too far he heard a weak voice call out to him, "Wait…"

Naruto returned to the side of the immobile girl, "Yes? What now?"

She looked up at the sky, not daring to make eye-contact with him, "Kill me Fullmetal."

Naruto's eyes bulged out for a moment, "What? Kill you? I don't want to kill you!"

Tears came to Akiza's eyes as her voice broke, "I can't beat you. Iwa no Yoroi was the one thing I thought I had that could win. I've never lost using that jutsu, and now you know the weakness. I can't win. I'll never beat you, and I'll never kill you."

The tears cascaded down her face as she tried to turn away, "And because of that I can't go home."

Naruto growled under his breath, "What kind of asshole would give out an order like that just to kill a chunin?"

Akiza shook as her tears kept falling, "They won't take me back until you die, and because I can't do it I can't go. There's no reason for me to keep going anymore, so just do it. Kill me, please."

Naruto looked at the girl who had come within just a hair of killing him twice. Kyuubi voiced her opinion, "**Just do it kit. She wants you to. She can't beat you and because of that she's lost the support of her home, she will never see her loved ones again or feel in place again. So killing her would be akin to mercy in this case.**"

Naruto frowned and stood in thought as the sun beat down on them overhead. Finally he spoke, "No."

Akiza looked at him in disbelief, "Wh-what? You won't do it?"

Naruto nodded, "I won't do it. I'm not going to kill you, there's no reason."

Akiza's body began to twitch as Naruto noticed it was her actually trying to move. She grasped his pants and pulled herself up to his chest, eyes full of tears, "You son-of-a-bitch. You cruel bastard… How could you?"

She began pounding on his chest and face weakly. There was absolutely no strength behind her attacks so Naruto just let her punch herself out. After an almost endless time period Akiza finally fully exhausted herself and lost consciousness.

Naruto sighed and picked her up before carrying her off from the riverside to find another town to stay in.

A cloaked figure in the woods that had taken sight of the battle smiled to herself as she saw Naruto carry the girl away from the battlefield, "Good boy Naruto-kun. You fought very well."

**New chapter poppin' fresh for my peepulation get some!**

**I've given my obligated piece of greatness, and now I'm going back to getting my KTFO on in UFC Undisputed 2010 because that shit is fun.**

**Read, review, live, and eat some pudding.**

**Kenchi out.**


	41. Mr Nice Guy

Review Shoutouts

**Unknown2615: I aim's to please my friend...**

**none: I. Am not. A machine! I'm a man! But yeah, updates will be sped up. I'm just starting to get over the new game slump, gamers out there know what I'm talking about.**

**KantonKageX: I hope what I end up pulling out to answer your questions in future chapters will be truly badass, because I've been running the scenarios through my head a few times especially the 'mysterious stranger.' **

**Jyuubi6: I gots to get playing a new game out of my effin' system or else I cannot function in daily life it's a curse! And I used an anti-climactic finish to be a smart-ass, because realistically I've heard of real fights and actual historical battles being decided over stupid things like that all the time. Massive explosive finished are passe.**

**kiyomos: I can't tell you that foo'! Now calm down and read, all will be explained in time, just be patient... It's not like it takes me two months to update or something *sniff*.**

**Hee-Ho Master: Pudding really IS awesome... Damn you Bill Cosby...**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. This message will now self-destruct in 3… 2… 1… !

**Chapter 41: Mr. Nice Guy**

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Waking up isn't a pleasant experience for most. The majority of people in existence love sleep. Some people love sleep so much, sleep is the first thing they think of when they wake up. Waking up is such a hated experience by most that even the tools people use to wake up, alarm clocks, come with a delay known to all as the snooze button, just so you can get your extra fifteen minutes.

However when your alarm clock comes with an actual body with arms and hands, connected to the face of an angry teenage girl whose ass you just beat yesterday and let drown like a rat, it's kind of hard to ignore and roll back over to go back to sleep.

And so we find our blonde hero, grabbed by the collar of the tank-top he had worn to bed by the girl he had just gotten through fighting to the death the other day as she shoved her knee in his belly, "Um… good morning?"

Akiza did not reciprocate his morning greeting with much positive vigor, "Fullmetal… Why am I in this hotel room with you?"

Now Naruto knew he was a pretty strong guy and that he had just gotten through defeating her yesterday, and that if they had to go another few rounds for real that he would have an infinitely better chance of walking away from the next scrum than her. But this was irrelevant at this time because he was being held down, not by just any opponent, but by an angry woman, and fighting an angry woman that is even close to your own level of skill naturally is tantamount to suicide.

Naruto looked around the room aimlessly, "Because… you blacked out after our fight and I wasn't just going to leave you in the middle of nowhere to be picked up by Kami knows who and have Kami knows what done to you?"

Akiza narrowed her eyes as her gaze attempted to burn a hole in Naruto's head, "Why?"

Naruto blinked as confusion filled his head, 'Why? What? So now I need a reason to be good to people?' Naruto honestly didn't know how to answer, because if waking up in a warm bed after almost drowning in a fight where he should have killed her made her angry then any number of stupid-ass answers or any of his instinctual smart-ass remarks could set her off right now, and if they were going to go round three it damn sure wasn't going to duke off in ANOTHER hotel room… he was lucky he didn't have to pay for the last one.

Naruto took a moment to bask in the tranquil silence of the room as he thought about what to say, "Because it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to just leave you for dead."

Akiza shook him hard once, "If you didn't want to leave me for dead then you should have just killed me! I've got nothing left to go back to because I can't kill you myself!"

Naruto growled before he broke her grip and flipped her over, pinning her to the bed, "Now you listen to me damn it. I let you spout all of that bullcrap yesterday because you were distraught; I had just beaten you in combat, you almost drowned, reality finally slapped you in the face that as long as you can't kill me you can't go back to Iwa. All of these things that I've just said compounded and that's why I let you do all of that stuff yesterday."

Akiza's eyes began to water, "Damn it why did you let me live? I'm useless if I can't be a shinobi. As long as I was a kunoichi I felt, I felt like I was useful. Iwa doesn't need weak people like me, and they don't want me anymore."

Naruto frowned as he heard the girl that had been so confident just a day before verbally cut herself down. She sounded so familiar, like he had heard something like this before, but the fact that he had the memory of a goldfish when it comes to things like this didn't help him.

"Ahh… Fullmetal?"

Naruto looked down at Akiza curiously and noticed she was blushing as she squirmed to remove herself from under him. Naruto then noticed how close their proximity actually was as she spoke again, "Could you get off of me?"

A blush came across Naruto's face as he went slack-jawed for a moment before recovering, "Okay, I'm going to let you go. When I get up you and me are going to sit down and talk about this okay?"

Akiza's blush remained as she agreed with Naruto's offer. Naruto stood up and sat on Akiza's bed as she remained laying in place, not moving, "So… What do you want? Are you going to torture me for intelligence on Iwa? *chuckle* Even though I was a jounin they didn't trust me too much with 'sensitive' information. You won't get anything from me that you probably didn't already know."

Naruto sighed and mumbled something that sounded vaguely like 'stupid rock bitch', "No goddamit! I don't care about Iwa… I want to know about you. I mean all I know about you is that you're mean as hell in a fight and that you for some reason love calling me 'Fullmetal' more than my actual name."

Akiza turned over to face away from Naruto as she curled up on his bed, "Why do you care? You're a Konoha ninja, I'm from Iwagakure, we're supposed to be mortal enemies, especially considering that you look like-,"

Naruto cut her off, "I don't care if you're from Iwa. You're the only Iwa ninja I know, and my only real problem with you was the attempts on my life. Other than that I guess the slate is clean as far as I'm concerned."

Akiza chuckled slightly, "Only a Konoha tree-hugger could be so flighty about their enemies… All citizens of Iwa, from the shinobi population to the civilians, are taught to have a natural mistrust of Konohagakure. You won't believe how violent some of the old fogies in that place get whenever a conversation turns to something about Konoha."

Naruto bounced on the bed out of boredom, "Well you already said you don't hate me so…"

Akiza huffed and shifted in place on the bed, "So what Fullmetal? What do you want?"

Naruto shook his head, "Tell me about yourself. What you like, what you dislike, dreams for the future, stuff like that."

Akiza scoffed and turned over and gave Naruto a strange look, "Are you serious? What is your malfunction?"

Naruto grumbled and crossed his arms, "I don't see what's wrong with wanting to get to know someone. I mean it's not like you're trying to kill me anymore, if you were you would have done it in my sleep."

Akiza's eyes widened before she snapped her fingers and pouted, "Damn, why didn't I think of that?" Akiza watched Naruto's jaw drop before she began giggling, and soon that gave way to full-blown laughter, "I-I'm sorry Fullmetal, I'm just kidding. Your face was priceless though. *giggle*"

Naruto smirked, "That's okay I guess… You know you don't have to call me Fullmetal. I'd rather you call me Naruto, it's my name after all."

Akiza wagged her finger, "Maybe, but honestly, I like Fullmetal. It sounds cooler than 'fishcake' anyway."

Naruto palmed his forehead, "Woman it means maelstrom, not fishcake. And fine, I give up… call me whatever you want, I don't care I guess."

Akiza smiled, "That's good Fullmetal… You know Fullmetal, I'm really glad you're okay with me calling you Fullmetal, Fullmetal."

Naruto slammed his head into a pillow repeatedly with a groan, "Damn it girl, enough with the Fullmetal…"

Akiza gave him a fake-salute, "Aye, aye Fullmetal." She began giggling again after Naruto resumed slamming his head into a pillow. Akiza waited until silence fell once more before speaking again. She mustered a cheerful sounding voice, "So, what's the plan Fullmetal? Where are you going next? You're probably going back to Konoha right? They must have dispatched you to Kiri so now it's time to go back."

Naruto grinned at her, "Nope, I'm not going to Konoha. I can't go back, not for a few years anyway. I'm just wandering aimlessly until my sensei finds me and we can get started training. I think I have like a month left before he comes to find me."

Akiza's heart lifted a little, 'He's not going to Konoha! I can stick with him for a little while at least. Thank Kami!' Akiza stood up and pointed at Naruto, "Right then, I'm going to wash up right now. Then you can, then we can leave."

Naruto blinked as Akiza walked into the bathroom with a scroll from her gear and shut the door leaving a confused Naruto, "…Wait a minute, what the hell just happened?"

XxX

(Somewhere in Cha no Kuni – Three Days Later)

"Why are you still here?"

"Because I can be."

You wanted to kill me a week ago and now you're following me."

"Yep, aren't you lucky Fullmetal."

"Like winning the lottery…"

Naruto figured that after that night they would part ways in the morning; he would go… somewhere, she would go her own way, and that would be that. Unfortunately for his calculations he had not accounted for the fact that she had NOWHERE TO GO, and that he was the only person outside of Iwagakure that she even remotely knew, so for better or worse he had a traveling companion.

The current plan had Naruto heading towards Kaminari no Kuni (Land of Lightning), and if he was feeling ballsy he would try to swing through Kumogakure, but he wasn't telling this to Akiza yet as she had shot down all of his other ideas prior to this one, so he just settled for acting like he was just walking in no particular direction.

_(Flashback)_

"_How about we head towards Capital City in Hi no Kuni? I want to see some people that live nearby."_

"_Are you crazy Fullmetal? I'm an Iwa shinobi! Any time I spend in Hi no Kuni is like I'm risking my neck! And you want me to go to one of two places in that country where I'm guaranteed to get killed?"_

"_How about we go down to Sunagakure? I have some friends and I want to see how they're doing before ero-sennin catches me."_

"_Meh… Too hot. Next."_

"_Otafuku Gai is supposed to be a pretty nice place, how about that?"_

"_Oh! You want me to go to that red-light district town so you can drop me at a brothel or something?"_

"_*sigh* You know, I'm actually starting to consider that as a viable option…"_

"_You'd better be joking, Fullmetal pipsqueak…"_

"…_Fucking crazy rock bitch…"_

(Flashback End)

He figured that as long as he acted as if he didn't know where he was going she couldn't really bitch about it because how was he supposed to know where the hell he was going? This called for him to NOT use a map, so chances are that acting lost would actually end up with them being lost. Now Naruto, being Naruto, figured that the one really good look at the map that he had gotten the night before his fight with Akiza would be enough to stick in his memory, and normally it would have been… if either of them actually had any natural sense of direction.

So it ended up with both of them being ridiculously lost, and only one of them actually knowing/caring/freaking out about it.

Naruto rubbed his scalp in order to alleviate some stress that he was feeling from the sucky situation he had gotten himself into, "Hey Akiza? Which way is east? We need to reach the coast sometime soon." 'Because we are horrendously lost and I need to get my bearings!'

Akiza looked over at her unwilling travel companion, "I really don't want to get on any boats Fullmetal. Why are you going to the coast?"

Naruto grit his teeth and bit back his instinctual response, 'Because we are obscenely lost and need to find a useful landmark so that we don't wander this country forever!' "Because I heard that the oceanfront is pretty nice this time of year, and we need to restock on our supplies before I end up having to eat you."

Akiza gave him a half-lidded look, "Oh Fullmetal, I'm not sure I would mind too terribly if you would 'eat me,' I hope you'd be good at it though."

Naruto's eyes slowly widened as the repercussions of Akiza's innuendo hit home. The fact that she was stretching and that the only thing she wore on her torso was her jounin vest didn't help our boy's budding libido whatsoever.

As the brown-haired girl continued along with our blonde protagonist an awkward conversation was going on in his head, "**Ooh I like her kit. Way to snag an interesting one.**" Naruto bit his lip, 'I am not listening to this! This girl just tried to kill me not even a week ago!'

Kyuubi, who had been getting chuckles off of watching the interaction between the two since their fight, found it necessary to interject into her container's life at this point in time, "**So? Like you said, if you held a grudge against everyone that tried to hurt you then half of Konoha would be six feet deep right now.**"

Naruto inwardly growled at the vixen, 'I don't even know this girl. She's just with me because she can't go anywhere else. She doesn't even like me as a friend. And being hot is only half the battle, I need to be able to trust her, with everything.'

Kyuubi smirked, not like Naruto could see it, "**So you admit that she's attractive?**"

'Yes of course. What am I gay? I'm not Sasuke Uchiha thank you very much.'

XxX

(Meanwhile – Konohagakure)

Amid the monotony of D-ranked missions, namely, pulling weeds in this case, Sasuke Uchiha's head shot up with naught but a faint twitch of the eye. Sakura saw the distracted look on his face and went to enquire, "Sasuke-kun? What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

Sasuke kept looking up, "For some strange reason I want to beat the hell out of Naruto…"

Sakura looked confused, "Naruto?"

Kakashi looked up from his spot by the fence, "Hey you guys, we can't be here all day, I still need to train you all up a little bit before I go looking for your new teammate later so let's get this done."

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi turned down the road to see a very haggard Jushiro Moyomoto rushing towards him, wounds and cuts clearly evident on his person, "Jushiro? What in Kami's name happened to you?"

Jushiro grabbed Kakashi by the vest and jerked him eye to bloodshot-eye, "Save me… Zabuza… Can't take it… anymore… No escape… I'm just a boy… just a boy."

Kakashi raised his one visible eye-brow, "From what I've heard from Naruto you're not a boy anymore, you're a man." Kakashi's train of thought changed gears, "How did you get Zabuza off of your tail anyway?"

Jushiro grinned widely, "After I shook him and Anko in the Forest of Death I ended up running into Maito Gai's team. All I have to say is that I love that girl with all of the weapons with every fiber of my being. She totally blindsided Zabuza the second she saw Kubikiri Hocho. The greatest thing I've ever seen, I swear to Kami I cried like a baby when I got away."

Kakashi eye-smiled at Jushiro, "I see… Well congratulations on keeping your balls for another day."

Jushiro sighed heavily and whimpered pathetically, "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up Kakashi… I don't think I can last long enough for Haku-chan to get back and save me."

A kunai planted itself at the base of Jushiro's feet before an entire myriad of weaponry deposited itself where Jushiro and Kakashi once stood. As they looked around they saw Zabuza, a grinning Anko, and Tenten with fire in her eyes.

Jushiro shook in his boots at the sight of Zabuza once more, "T-T-Tenten? What are you doing?"

Tenten flipped a kunai in her hand as she gave Jushiro a slightly apologetic look, "Sorry Jushiro, but Zabuza promised me that if I helped to catch you he'd let me keep Kubikiri Hocho for a week." Tenten's eyes took on a 'youthful' blaze, "If I cannot catch you I will do one-hundred laps around Konoha carrying a crate of scrap metal!"

Kakashi and Jushiro went pale as Kakashi spoke up, "I thought she was the normal one! What the hell is Gai doing to these kids?"

"Ah Tenten there you are! You ran off from our training session with Zabuza-san so quickly you didn't tell us where you were going."

The entire group turned to see Gai and Lee running up, dragging Neji behind them, "Now what seems so be the reason for such a youthful gathering of fellow Konoha shinobi on this glorious day?"

If lightbulbs were visible whenever you got a _good_ idea then a _glowstick_ would have cracked open just above Jushiro's head right then. Jushiro grabbed Kakashi by the neck and pulled him close, "Alright you and me are getting the hell out of here right now, Zabuza be damned."

Kakashi narrowed his eye, "Why should I help you get away from Zabuza? What am I getting out of it?"

Jushiro chuckled darkly, "Oh Kakashi, you make it sound like I'm giving you a choice in the matter."

Kakashi looked puzzled, "What do you-."

"Oh Gai! Kakashi bets that you and Rock Lee can't carry us piggyback to an undisclosed location for upwards of two days or whenever it is deemed safe to return to this location upon which latter information will be given out at a later date!"

Kakashi looked absolutely mortified, "T-Two days with Maito Gai…"

Gai snapped into action shiny teeth and all, "Ah-Ha! Kakashi, when will you learn that there is no challenge that I, Maito Gai, will not accept to prove my superiority. Come Lee! Consider this an excellent test for the power of your youth!"

The two blurred over and picked up Kakashi and Jushiro piggyback style, "Yes Gai-sensei! I will follow your youthful example and test my own youth with your eternal rival's challenge!"

Kakashi shot Jushiro the dirtiest look he could give without his Sharingan, "I hate you."

Jushiro grinned victoriously, "I bask in your hate." Jushiro flashed a peace sign to Zabuza, "Later _dad_. Shoot me a message when _our_ Haku-chan gets back why don't you?"

"Why you punk-ass brat!" Zabuza snapped into action and lunged at Jushiro who was on Lee's back .

Jushiro screamed like a girl and flicked his cestus, turning into a megaphone before putting by Rock Lee's ear, "GO LEE GO! EXPLODE WITH THE POWER OF PIGGYBACK RIDES!

Lee's head snapped up like a greyhound as he took off, "YOSH! EXPLODE!" Leaving a smoky trail of youth in his wake

Zabuza utterly obliterated the gate nearby with his massive sword out of anger as Gai looked on with pride, "Ah Kakashi look at him! Such a marvel of youth. Well, let us be off then! Yosh!"

"I HATE YOU JUSHIROOOoooooo…-."

Sakura and Sasuke just stood dumbfounded at the scene that had just unfolded before Sakura spoke up, "Well, I guess that means we're done for the day…"

Sasuke couldn't even muster the will to even give off a 'hmn'

The Zabuza crew was freaking out over the loss of the white-haired brat/my entertainment/my sword.

Neji walked over and shook his head before patting his fellow genius on the back, "Don't worry, eventually you'll learn to suppress it. I do it every day, and now I don't have to worry until the ulcers surface in twenty years… but I think it's worth it."

Sasuke rubbed his temple, "I can't believe I live in this town…"

Sakura blinked a few times, "Sasuke-kun… would you like to get something to eat with me?"

Sasuke thought about leaving before he shrugged, "Ugh... Why the hell not? I need a cold beer and a burger after that crap."

Sakura frowned, "Sasuke-kun we can't drink."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "After what we've just seen I think they'll let us run the tap for free."

Neji lifted his hand, "Actually I think I'll join you. I need to forget."

XxX

(Somewhere in Cha no Kuni)

'No.'

"**Yes.**"

'No.'

"**Yes.**"

'Shut the hell up Kyuubi-chan or I will make you pay.'

"**Admit you want the Iwa girl and I will. You said she was attractive.**"

'Stop fucking with me, I swear to Kami, or I will make your worst nightmares come true.'

"**Ha. Really? And what pray tell can you ACTUALLY do to me?**"

'Sennen Goroshi.'

"***gasp* You don't have the balls.**"

Naruto grinned evilly, 'You'd think so wouldn't you? Why wouldn't I? Chances are _I_ might actually enjoy it.'

"**I'll be good…**"

'There you go. Now was that so hard?' Naruto had a smug grin on his features.

Akiza raised an eyebrow at Naruto's sudden change of attitude, "Fullmetal, what are you all smiles about? You were looking pissed a second ago."

Naruto looked ahead, eyes on the road, "Sennen Goroshi."

Akiza scrunched up her face in confusion, "What?"

Naruto waved it off, "Don't worry about it, I might tell you later." Naruto rolled his eyes as he watched Akiza stretch provocatively, "Why don't you wear anything under that vest?"

Akiza smirked as she looked over at Naruto, "It's too hot in these environments. Why? You want a closer look Fullmetal."

"**Yes.**"

'SENNEN GOROSHI GODDAMMIT! LAST WARNING! I AM CRAZY AS HELL!'

"**…**"

'That's what the fuck I thought…' Naruto sneered before turning his face back to an impassive look, "Nope, I just don't feel like nursing you back to health when you catch the flu or some other nasty-ass sickness."

Akiza batted her eyes at Naruto sweetly, "Oh you can play doctor with me whenever Fullmetal."

Naruto slapped himself, "Why does every other sentence you say to me end in some kind of sexual innuendo. Seriously, I'm a dude and you're hot, don't fuck with me like that unless you're serious."

Akiza ruffled Naruto's hair, "And that's why I do it Fullmetal. You're too nice to girls like me, it's so easy to mess with you. That, and seeing you fight with yourself is a blast."

"**I told you. The little minx wants you kit, go get her.**"

'That's it! Sennen Goroshi. In your ass, tonight! Don't sleep!'

"**Oh whatever Naruto-kun. You come and try it. Try it and see if I don't fuck with your hormones whenever you get within ten feet of any female. ANY FEMALE…**"

Naruto paled and almost missed his next step, 'You're totally bluffing. You can't do that shit.'

"**Naruto I can enhance your body growth to that of a fifteen year old boy within three months. How do you not think I can do this to you? As a matter of fact I might just do it anyway just out of principle. So I guess this is just going to be one big game of chicken huh?**"

'…'

Akiza tapped Naruto on his shoulder, "I swear you're schizophrenic… You have more mood swings than a few, seriously."

Naruto unconsciously shivered, "I don't want to talk about it."

Akiza huffed, knowing she wasn't getting anymore out of him than that, "Where are we going Fullmetal?"

Naruto shrugged, "Somewhere? Nowhere? Everywhere? Take your pick."

Akiza glared at the metal-armed boy, "You're an ass."

Naruto chuckled and shook his head, "And yet you still hang out with me. I think you might be a masochist or something. I mean I beat your ass twice, almost groped you in a hotel room, and constantly engage you in shit-talking contests. Three days of this with me and anyone else would've tried to slit my throat by now."

Akiza began chuckling herself, "Well I think we've already established how that would turn out if I tried that again. And besides… You're the only person I know."

Naruto nodded, "Outside of Iwa right?" Upon hearing no affirmation of his statement he raised his voice, "Right?" Naruto heard no response and turned to see her looking down, "No way… Really?"

Akiza nodded, "They pretty much leave you alone if you're an orphan in Iwa. As soon as you're old enough to be a genin they make you leave the orphanage. They still haven't gotten over the backlash from the last Great Ninja War, so they have to bounce you out as fast as they can. That's a reason Iwa has so many young ninja like me. The bulk of their forces these days are teenagers."

Naruto rolled his hand in a 'please explain' fashion, "So? Friends? Sensei's? Comrades? Something?"

Akiza shook her head, "As genin we're all placed in mass training groups. One sensei for twenty to thirty genin. They send a random jounin with a random mishmash of genin on missions to get us used to wartime conditions in case your team is destroyed in combat. And we get promoted simply based on just how good _you_ are personally in battle. The same thing goes for promotion to jounin too, you're basically alone as you climb the ladder."

Akiza wiped a phantom tear from her eye, "If you didn't have someone climbing the rankings with you the entire time then you can't avoid losing contact with everyone. I made chunin and then jounin way too fast. I didn't have any real friends that I would risk everything for. Being a powerful kunoichi was all I had, and now I don't even have that. *laughs* Life's funny that way eh Fullmetal."

Akiza was stopped mid-stride by Naruto grasping both of her hands to turn her to face him, "I know exactly what you're talking about Akiza… Now I can't promise that things will be easier with me, but I promise I'll do everything I can to find something that makes you happy as long as you wish to travel with me. And that's the promise of a lifetime."

Akiza's eyes began to water, "But, but why? Why would you do this for me?"

Naruto fixed her with a hard gaze, "Because I know the loneliness of not having anyone. And I know the feeling of trying to find your purpose for life. I won't let anyone close to me feel that way ever again if I can help it, and if you stay with me I will keep you safe. You're not unwanted, and I'll show you that myself."

Naruto let that sink in for a moment before he looked at the direction of the setting sun, "East is this way… Come on, we might as well get a good start on the right direction before it gets dark."

Akiza stood in place as she watched Naruto walk off. Sighing softly she looked up at the sky, noticing that even though there was still sunlight stars were visible.

"Akiza! Let's go, I will leave your ass behind!"

Akiza rolled her eyes and jogged to catch up with him, "Wait you bastard!"

'Thank you… Fullmetal.'

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**The Wandering Alchemist arc is almost over. I anticipate that I can finish it in two or three chapters. And before it gets to the point that I have to address the same comment sixteen times, yes I have changed the pairing. BUT! I remember the fact that when I first wrote this I reserved the right to change it at any time, and seeing as how I didn't go very far AT ALL with the NaruHina stuff I can do whatever the fuck I want DO SOMETHIN'!**

**The Akiza OC has caught my attention hard. And instead of following other people's typecast ways of writing NaruHina I wanted to try my own stuff with an OC so yeah. For those that are disappointed… I don't know what to say except… meh.**

**About the scene in Konoha... I was feeling spontaneously random today. I hope it worked out to satisfaction.  
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**But seriously, I will be putting out another chapter by the end of the weekend so don't sleep on it. Same goes for my other story, Naruto: Soldiers of Fortune. Why? Because I'm feeling fucking inspired this weekend, do I really need another reason? You're getting extra fanfiction bitches! It's a celebration!**

**Kenchi out… And Prince of Persia is actually a kind of kick-ass movie. Didn't really expect it, I must say I'm pleasantly surprised by it. Later… Drop the kid a line and let him know what you think. Reactions are my inspiration.**


	42. Cradle to the Grave

Review Shoutouts

**snipa: Exactly, it has been done to death. I wanted to try something new. This is my first story anyway, so I think I can cut loose a bit eh? And yes, the log rules you all.**

**To many people:*Damn I guess my scene in Konoha was pretty well received huh? Good to know. I loved writing it, I had to stop myself when Rock Lee got involved, I can write entire chapters based on that one event alone. Ahh, God bless Rock Lee, instant comic relief.***

**inuficcrzy: I need to use Neji more for comedic purposes, he's like the perfect foil to Lee and Gai. It would be a crime if I **_**didn't**_** use him like that.**

**none: I am not a robot damn it! …I'm an android, there's a difference.**

**Proximity Alert: Thank you sir, random and/or spontaneous hilarity is my favorite kind. And shame means nothing to a man like myself; I aspire to earn a living by training to cause harm to myself and others, shame has little to no place in my lifestyle. You all just get to reap the benefits of my insanity.**

**stfu fishcakes: That is some conspiratory-ass shiznit son. …I need to stop drinking.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. All anyone has to do to realize this is to see a picture of me, and then look at a picture of Masashi Kishimoto or Hiromu Arakawa. I don't look nearly as happy or as triumphant enough with my life as someone that owns shit like this. Guys like that have earned the right to walk around with a permanent aura around them that just screams 'fuck you' so yeah, I don't really have that yet… but I want it.

***Fast ain't I?* And yes, I blatantly stole the title of this chapter from that DMX & Jet Li movie. DO SOMETHIN'!  
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**Chapter 42: Cradle to the Grave**

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(Cha no Kuni – Coastal Port Town – Three Days Later)

After Naruto had gotten his bearings by finding which way east was by way of setting sun it wasn't too difficult to find a coastal town… all he had to do was go east until he saw water and head either north or south until he ran into people.

And so Naruto, with former assailant in tow, headed into town to find out exactly where the hell they were and how the hell he was going to get this girl to willingly go to Kumogakure without her bitching his ear off.

"Alright, now we need to find out where we actually are so I can get an idea of where to go next." Naruto pulled out his map and began making basic deductions on their location.

Akiza was simply standing to the side looking out at the ocean, "You have a terrible sense of direction Fullmetal. How could you get us lost? Can you even read that map or are you just showing off?"

Naruto growled, "Says the girl that couldn't tell me which way east was? We had to wait for sunset or else we might have ended up back in Hi no Kuni by now. How the hell did you find me twice if you can't tell which direction you're going in?"

Akiza narrowed her eyes at Naruto, "Well those last few times I did have a compass, that you let get washed away in the river after our last fight…"

Naruto stifled a laugh, "Okay, so next time you fall in the water I should just let you sink like a rock and instead grab a cheap ass tool that we can buy anywhere for pocket cash?" Upon hearing her not respond he nodded, "Uh huh, that's what I thought."

"Fuck you Fullmetal…" Akiza pouted as they walked on the road heading into town, "…I can swim… that armor was heavy."

Naruto patted her on the shoulder, "Okay, sure, whatever you have to tell yourself to feel better. Hey, do want me to buy you some water-wings while we're here? How about a floaty?" Akiza's fist collided with the back of Naruto's head as he came up chuckling, "Worth it…"

The grumbling girl still accompanied Naruto down the path.

XxX

After stocking up on stuff for travelling the pair sat at a beachside café that Naruto had been dragged to, despite his efforts to locate a place that sold fresh ramen. They simply spent time eating and looking out at the scenery.

Naruto sighed and leaned back in his chair, "Where the hell is ero-sennin? I've completely lost track of time, but I'm sure that it's been six months since he ditched me…"

Akiza stopped sipping her drink to look up curiously, "Ero-sennin? A grown man lets you get away with calling him that out loud? How rude."

Naruto makes a talking gesture with his hands, "Says the girl that simply won't use my actual name out loud." An ice cube connected with his forehead, "That's enough out of you woman… And anyway, until you meet him, please reserve judgment. I'm almost scared to show you to him, who knows what he'll do to you."

Akiza unconsciously shivered, "So… I'm guessing he has a stigma against Iwa nin or something?"

Naruto shook his head, "No. Though Kami knows he's old enough. Nah, he might ask you to let him 'research' you for one of his books or something I'm betting."

Akiza took on a thoughtful look, "Well that sounds like fun actually. I think it might be kind of cool to end up in a book."

Naruto almost fell out of his chair stifling his laughter, "Yeah… I'm sure you'd love it. His research is very… stimulating, I should say. I say go for it." Naruto got serious as he looked back out at the ocean, "That old son-of-a-bitch better have some kick-ass things to show me when he gets back. I could've done what I've been doing for myself training-wise if I'd stayed in Konoha."

Akiza crossed her arms on the table, "So, this guy… ero-sennin, he just ditched you at the border of Hi no Kuni and said, 'See you in six months.'?"

Naruto nodded, "That's basically the gist of it. Oh, and I was blindfolded and pointed down a random road, don't forget that."

Akiza gave him a dead-pan look, "Wow… That's some training Fullmetal. A credit to teachers everywhere that man is…" The darker-skinned girl just shook her head, "I might have to kick that guy in the balls when I meet him for doing something so stupid…"

Naruto put his head in his hands on the table, "Yeah? Well save me a shot. I could've stayed home for all this has been worth. I haven't had any decent ramen in SIX FUCKING MONTHS! Do you know what kind of withdrawal symptoms I had to go through? I think I forgot what it was supposed to taste like…"

Akiza looked away from the fuming boy, "Onigiri is better…"

Naruto gave her a dark look, "I'd advise you stop talking now… It would be a shame for me to save you just to kill you over your own ignorance towards the greatness of ramen."

Remembering her hard-headed attitude as an Iwa ninja, Akiza huffed and turned a defiant look towards Naruto, "For crying out loud Fullmetal, learn to like a real food! What in Kami's name is so great about a bowl of greasy noodles and flavored water with meat chunks?"

Naruto gave her a sick smile that promised pain, or intense aggravation… or both, "I'm so glad you asked…"

XxX

A silver-haired man in purple emerged from the shadows of a few buildings just as a cloaked figure landed, bowing in front of him, "Have you been keeping tabs on our little friend since he left Kiri?"

The cloaked person kept low in their bow as her feminine voice cut through, "Yes Kabuto-sama. He currently has the company of an Iwa ninja that he fought and defeated around two weeks ago. She is most likely jounin level judging from the skills she has shown and from the vest she displays."

Kabuto tilted his glasses up on his face before a smile came upon his face, "Well I guess soon enough we'll be able to see little Naruto-kun face to face once more. I still do owe him a little something from myself and Orochimaru-sama from our last little meeting."

Staying low, the woman the woman tilted her violet eyes up to Kabuto, "Of course. Your orders sir?"

Kabuto turned to slink back within the shadows, "Keep shadowing them. I will find you myself when it is time to begin."

The woman stood just as Kabuto vanished from the scene, "Yes Kabuto-sama."

XxX

Naruto and Akiza had long since left the café to walk around the town for the day, and Akiza was a hair's breadth away from strangling Naruto where he stood.

"In the mornings I personally like to start my day with a helping of miso ramen. It's good you know? Gets you all charged up and ready to go. Then at lunch I'll vary it up a bit; I'll take a chicken ramen, shrimp ramen, hell sometimes I feel like taking a repeat of breakfast and getting more miso. Then at dinner beef is the way to go. It really fills you up." Naruto had refrained from shutting the hell up about ramen since leaving the café and was now on about what was on his particular daily menu.

"Shut the hell up Fullmetal! I. Don't. Care! I don't care which ramen is best for social gatherings and parties, or what kind or ramen you should serve at a wake service! I will kill you if you don't stop talking right now!"

Naruto shut his mouth as the two walked in silence down the main street.

"Um, Akiza?"

"*sigh* Yes Fullmetal?"

"...Anyways, when I first lost my arm I realized that beef had a lot of protein, or so Old Lady Pinako kept telling me, and I learned to like it, so then I usually tried to have some everyday. Oh! But vegetable ramen is just…"

Akiza put her face into her hands and almost started to cry, 'Why? Why is the only guy that can help me move around the continent insane? Kami, I'm sorry I tried killing him. Just get him to shut up before I slit my wrists!'

Naruto was tapping the poor girl on the side of her head to get her attention at this point, "Akiza… Akiza… Akiza!"

Akiza was shocked out of her stupor by Naruto repeatedly shouting at her, "What? What is it? Is something wrong Fullmetal?"

Naruto smiled at her, "No, nothing's wrong. I just thought I'd broken you for a moment. Now where was I?"

Akiza immediately panicked and summoned her naginata and put it in his face, "Shut up now or I'll shove this thing blade-end first up your ass."

Naruto gulped and slowly pushed the weapon down out of his face, "I was just going to say, we need a place to stay tonight. How about that place over there?" Naruto pointed at a two-story hotel with clear view of the ocean.

Akiza blinked and re-sealed her naginata before giggling sheepishly, "Uh yeah, sure Fullmetal, that sounds great. Um, sorry about the whole, 'shove-a-sharp-pointy-object-up-your-ass thing.'"

Naruto waved it off before grinning at her, "It's no big deal actually… Although now it's my eternal mission to bring you over to the greatness that is ramen, for your own good."

Akiza shook her head humorously as they walked into the hotel for the night.

XxX

Naruto flopped on his own bed as Akiza walked into the bathroom, "I can't believe that lady was trying her damndest to sell us on a single-bed suite."

Akiza snickered from behind the door, "I thought you were about to make that arm-blade thing and threaten her before she finally gave up that key." As the sound of running water came from the bathroom she spoke up, "Honestly I was about to pull out Sekki Kiritateru myself."

Naruto chuckled as his eyes started to shut. A few minutes later his sleepy state was broken by the sound of Akiza coming from the bathroom and shutting the door. Naruto let his eyes wander to see the girl with her hair down in one long t-shirt going down to just above her knees, "Wow. Modest aren't we?"

Akiza scoffed as she slid under her own covers, "Whatever Fullmetal… I don't sleep in street clothes, and I don't have anything to hide. Besides, you're a good boy, you wouldn't do anything perverted with little old me would you?"

Naruto shut the light between their beds off and sighed as he adjusted himself in bed and shut his eyes. His attempted slumber was once again cut off by Akiza's voice, "Fullmetal."

A slightly irritated grunt was the only indication she'd been heard so she continued, "I'm bored. Talk to me here."

"You know what's always fun? Sleeping?" Naruto said before he groaned pitifully as he rolled over to face her only to discover her green eyes looking over at him expectantly, "*sigh* Alright, what do you want to know?"

Akiza shrugged, "I've never been to Konoha, I never thought I'd ever see the place, but I always wondered what it was like."

Naruto thought for a second, "Well first of all, for being a 'hidden village' there really isn't anything 'hidden' about the place. It's in plain sight because it's cut out of the forest and is set against a big ass mountain with faces on it, real hidden. On top of that there's a main road leading right up to the front gate, but hey, I guess our clients need to reach us somehow."

Akiza laughed slightly, "Okay. What about the people? What are they like?"

Naruto didn't miss a beat, "The people suck."

Akiza frowned at his response, "Wow, such a quick answer. You got a chip on your shoulder or something?"

Naruto decided to forego the entire story behind his arm and thought about a different answer, "Well, not really. The people don't really suck. They're generally really good to each other. Only a few people in the city have beef with each other and they all know how to put things aside and work together, that's pretty much always been Konoha's strength."

Akiza noticed he didn't say 'we' or 'us' or 'our' the entire time he was talking, as if he was different from them. Akiza awkwardly tried to divert her forest green eyes from looking at him directly, "So, what about you? What do you think?"

Naruto took a long time to answer so Akiza made her own opinion, "Black sheep huh?"

Naruto grinned at her cheekily, "Baaa."

Akiza giggled and motioned for him to go on, "So? What did you do? What did your family do? Is alchemy forbidden or something in Konoha?"

Naruto shrugged, "I didn't do anything. I don't know my family or anything about them so for all I know they could have done something wrong. And no, alchemy isn't forbidden. When we were kids the council actually wanted me and my brother to teach other people in the village how to do it."

Akiza's eyes widened at the thought of tons of Konoha alchemists, "So what did you say?"

Naruto shook his head, "Big Boss said, 'Okay. Hand over a bunch of scrolls giving me info on all of your kekkei genkai and how to do all of your clan techniques and then we can talk.' I'm afraid I wasn't nearly as articulate with my response."

The thought of a metal-armed chibi-Naruto cursing out a room full of grown adult shinobi and civilians made Akiza burst out laughing. Seeing her laugh so hard made Naruto laugh himself, "Exactly. That's our art. It's more of a complex science than anything and think about this; two kids took the time to learn how to do it and make it commonplace, hell Big Boss said I revolutionized it the way I make transmutations. And we each have our own ways of using alchemy in combat. As you've seen I like directly manipulating the natural environment. No two alchemists will ever fight alike and as of now, we're the only two that we know of that can do it."

Akiza noticed the subtle look in his eyes, "Please stop ducking my question Fullmetal. As interesting as it is hearing about alchemy I asked you a question about you. What is Konoha's issue with you? Aren't you famous?"

Naruto chuckled, "Being famous just means that the enemies outside of the walls can identify me just as easily as the ones within the walls. The majority of the people despise me, and no I won't tell you why. That is my most personal secret. It was so bad that I almost sold myself and my brother to a smooth-talking council member with an obsession with military dominance."

Naruto shook his head, "Do you know that one time when I was like eight years old and a fire broke out in the kitchen of a restaurant in Konoha they called me to trial in front of the council? They tried to charge me with conspiring a terrorist plot to blow up the Chik-Fil-A. Why the fuck would I blow up the Chik-Fil-A, that shit is delicious!"

Naruto sighed and adjusted his sheets, "Well, there's no need to worry about it now. It's not like I'm there, and I'll deal with it again when the time comes." Naruto yawned and shut his eyes, "Well if the information session of our evening is over I'd like to get some sleep. Goodnight Akiza."

"Goodnight Fullmetal." Akiza quickly followed behind Naruto in the falling asleep department

XxX

The next morning found Akiza walking on the beach by herself. She had left Naruto to keep sleeping in their hotel room while she went out and got acclimated to the morning. She eventually ended up walking outside of the city limits before she stopped to look at the sea.

After a few minutes of standing a small smile came onto her face, "Fullmetal… You found me."

Naruto wasn't too far behind her yawning as he adjusted to the morning light, "Good morning Akiza. And what? You were trying to hide or something? What are you doing out here."

Akiza shut her eyes as the sun came over the horizon of the ocean, "I like this climate. It's much better than Iwa that's for sure. More pleasant to be out in." She turned to face Naruto who had foregone the cloak this morning.

But when she turned she saw that Naruto wasn't looking at her. He wasn't even looking in her direction. She followed his line of sight to find Naruto looking at two people, a silver-haired man with glasses wearing purple and a woman covered with a cloak.

The bespectacled man spoke, "Naruto-kun, so good to see you again. I see you're keeping younger company this time around. An Iwa ninja at that! What is this sweet girl doing all the way out here? Dear you should be on the other side of the continent you know that right?"

Naruto moved in front of Akiza before she could respond. Sending an icy look at Kabuto and the person at his side, "Kabuto… I see Orochimaru let you off the leash. And you have a female companion. Does he know you like women too? Bah, I guess it wouldn't have mattered to him anyway. He would have replaced you with Sasuke if I hadn't beaten his ass and dragged him home."

Akiza whispered in Naruto's ear, "Fullmetal, who is this guy? Why are you looking like you're about to fight?"

Naruto bared his teeth in a feral fashion, "This is Kabuto Yakushi. Traitor of the leaf. Master spy and right hand man to Orochimaru, Konoha's greatest traitor. And the reason I look like I'm going to fight is because, in all truth, I'm about to go ape-shit on his face!"

Kabuto chuckled and adjusted his glasses, "Oh Naruto-kun, you got lucky outside of Tanzaku Gai that day, but I'm not here to fight you, in fact, far from it. I'm here to help you out."

Naruto chuckled, "Sorry Kabuto, I don't really need any information on any ninja right now. If you beat it now then I won't have to rearrange your face with a rusty kunai. I'm supposed to be off the grid for the time being so I'll let you live."

Akiza hissed a whisper to Naruto, "Off the grid? You save entire countries when you're off the grid? What the hell do you do when you're actually an active ninja?"

Naruto motioned for her to tone it down, "Shush woman, we don't have any reason to fight Kabuto right now. And he's kind of right, I blindsided him last time with a jutsu he didn't expect. He'll be prepared this time."

Kabuto raised his hands in a placating fashion, "Now, now Naruto-kun, there's no need for such violence. I just wanted you to meet someone. I think you might find it enlightening."

Kabuto summoned his guest forward as Naruto raised an eyebrow, "It's the lady from the hotel two weeks ago. I should have known she was some kind of spy or something. No one ever voluntarily wants to be around me, at first anyway."

Kabuto's arrogant laugh sounded all throughout the quiet beachfront, "I think I'm enjoying this far too much." Kabuto reached up and pulled back the hood of the cloaked figure revealing a beautiful woman with striking red hair, a pale complexion, and violet eyes. Kabuto's laughter was reaching an all time high by this point in time, "I see why Orochimaru-sama enjoyed using this technique on the Sandaime Hokage so much! *laughs* Go ahead, say what you want to say to him dear!"

Naruto and Akiza, upon hearing Kabuto break out into laughter, immediately set themselves in a defensive stance. But the next words that Naruto would hear from the woman made his blood run cold.

"Hello… My dear sochi (son)…"

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**And that's chapter. I'm surprised at you people. Oh ye' of little faith… Do you not think I can pull this off correctly? There are at least six different ways I can do the pairing switch that makes sense, and luckily for you I'm going to pick the coolest one that has the most potential for awesome-nicity… And I'm not sure if that's even a word, but damn it, it should be! **

**I can actually dig those that stopped because of the pairing. I mean because of two words in the summary I basically unintentionally strung you all along for like four months, now that sucks, but as I placed in the summary for months, I did not settle on this pairing despite the fact that I was set on it in the beginning. **

**I didn't pair them both with Naruto because:**

**How am I going to swing that? A lot of what I do is based off of two things, the theory of Murphy's Law, and basic good old-fashioned logic. In the logical world do you think that for even a second a major family like the Hyuugas would let their heiress be one of two women to someone? Hokage be damned, shit would hit the fan.**

**That would be cheating for me. My real reason for NOT going with the original idea of Naruto x Hinata was because there was no original way to pull it off. I've read every lengthy story of that pairing that I could find and I felt like every avenue that I had open for relationship development was already done, done to death. And I wrote this for me, which means I also likes me a challenge, not piggybacking off of the work of others.**

**The actual decision to go through with this was the actual reason that I took so much longer than I usually did to update, I had to seriously think it over. This was important to me… You know… because it's summer… And I don't really have anything serious to worry about until next semester of college starts so that I can get gray hairs over something SERIOUS… but I digress**

**Now I personally love the pairing for real, and hope that Kishimoto actually pulls the trigger on it in the manga. And the reason for me not pulling my hair out at my own flighty thoughts was the fact that I HAD made this story such a shitty Naruto x Hinata. I barely made them interact, I almost butchered her character right out of the gate without giving her a real reason for changing herself enough to actually prematurely engage in a relationship with Naruto in the first place, and after over 40 chapters the amount of scenes between them can barely fill a page in length, counting scene breaks… **

**It was a combination of writer's negligence, negligence from my novice ass. I shot myself in the foot way back (figuratively speaking) and fucked the whole thing over. But what do you do? You adapt, and so I did. I have a good way to end the thing between them in a non-malicious way. NO angsty 'how could you!' B.S. Though some awesomeness will be going down like Nino Brown as is my nature.**

**The only thing is that she does end up with Kiba, because there simply is no one else, seriously there is no other choice that even remotely makes sense. And the new pairing isn't just going to come up out of the blue, I need to stretch my wings damn it!**

**Anyway enough with the long, boring-ass explanation. I just thought I owed at least that to the people that invested so much time in checking this out before I switched up the pairing.**

**No humor this time, we're getting serious for a few chapters, haha time is over for the time being. It's going down next chapter; get your thrills, chills, and spills prepared because you're going to need 'em! **

**Kenchi out… I need a beer… and my paycheck.**


	43. Shadows Over Hell

Review Shoutouts

*Whew… Got a shitload of these.*

**Anime Insomniac: Yes, yes I do. The line from last chapter was from Aziz Ansari in the movie "Observe and Report". That movie doesn't get enough credit for being awesome. And thanks, I forgot that line in my account was from Con Air, but it was still awesome.**

**No- I'm not on facebook: Yes Kabuto is a great villain. He's got that douchebag vibe that makes you want to see him get hurt. Kabuto never has badass moments. Throughout the entire series he never did anything awesome, he was just Orochimaru's gofer, and I think Kishimoto was setting up Kabuto to be despised just for being there, because he was almost useless but he talked so much shit it pissed me off. **

**Even Orochimaru himself had badass moments, he had a lot. If he didn't have a blatant pedophile vibe he might be a more kick-ass character. But Kabuto was useless, hell he's still useless to me, he just looks creepier now and I want to see him get owned, and that's what makes a good villain. You're not supposed to like the villain and I sure as hell don't like Kabuto. And I'm so glad so many people liked the Konoha segment from chapter 41, it was a random flash of brilliance and I wasn't sure how it would go over.**

**Jyuubi6: I only played the first Prince of Persia for Playstation 2, the rest looked stupid to me. But it was a cool game, I can still go back and play it. And thanks.**

**Unknown2615: Like I said, I understand completely why you won't keep reading, though I don't get your beef with Kiba… (Even though I did read your profile) Again I'll repeat, I dragged along a lot of people off of that potential pairing, I should have kept it pairless in the summary until I actually decided on it.**

**JetSaiga: YES! Getting people to laugh at odd intervals is what I aim for! And if Shino ever showed any damn interest in anything I would probably know how to write for him so I **_**could**_** get him a girl. And thanks for reviewing.**

**someone: That is very iffy my friend. I would definitely fuck that up. Most of the things I write about I have personal experience with somehow and I wouldn't even know how to pull that off. Regardless I'm not much for a multi-girl Naruto in this story, even if it's just two.**

**KantonKageX: Kabuto must die horribly for being creepier than the guy that signs his paychecks… Does Kabuto get paychecks?**

**kiyomos: Okay, I'm back from hell. Did you know that in summer hell is actually pretty cold in comparison to the rest of the year? Go figure… Anyway get your read on, I had something set up, can't throw it all in one chapter my reader.**

**wafflebobIII: If Kiba doesn't show any interest in her then Shino doesn't have a damn pulse. It is hard to write for Shino, it can be hilarious and somewhat rewarding, but it's HAAAARDDDDD and I'm LAAAAZZZZYYY! I didn't even write that far ahead yet so who knows, I'm actually still tossing around someone for Hinata.**

**Zeromaru Chaos Mode: (See Above) And yes, you've mentioned that before… And I agree…**

**snipa: I am very sneaky sir…**

**kitsune-demon16: Thank you. I'll write a real Naru-Hina soon. I just wanted to go freeballing with my first real story though.**

**none: WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU ABOUT MY WORLD DOMINA- I mean, no! Haha, what? World domination? Nah! Yo-You're craz- Nah!**

**Shadow of a moonless night: Thanks, man. Pairings don't really mean that much to me either (NO YAOI GODDAMN IT!) I just like good stories. I'll keep it up.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I don't own a damn thing, hell I barely own my own self. College loans will always bite you in the ass… Stay in school!

**Chapter 43: Shadows Over Hell**

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Naruto felt like he froze in place for hours, but it was only a few moments in bitter reality. Akiza switched her gaze between Naruto and the two new arrivals across the way, "Fullmetal who is this? Your mother? But you said you didn't know your parents."

Kabuto still had a self-satisfied look on his face, "He doesn't. Or at least he didn't until now. Naruto-kun, let me introduce you two. This is your mother, Kushina Uzumaki. Kushina meet your son, Naruto Uzumaki, he's doing quite well for himself these days wouldn't you say so little Iwa-nin?"

Naruto was in disbelief, "How do you know who my mother is?"

Kabuto laughed, "Orochimaru-sama had an idea of who your parents were since you first met. It's really one of the worst kept secrets in Konoha that are somehow actually kept secret, seriously…" Kabuto gestured towards Naruto.

Kushina took a step forward, "My dear little Naruto. Kami, you're so big now. How are you?"

Naruto shook in place, "H-How? Where have you been? Why here? Why now?" Naruto gripped his head tightly, "What is going on! Where were you? Why would you show up here of all places now? And why the hell are you with Kabuto?"

Kabuto shook his head as a chuckle escaped his lips, "I can tell you it wasn't of her own volition Naruto-kun. I brought her back myself. Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei (Summoning: Impure World Ressurection)… It's such a fun jutsu to use, I see why Orochimaru-sama enjoyed using it. I wanted you two to share a family moment together, aren't I kind?"

Akiza pointed at Kushina and Kabuto, "You brought back his dead mother? Why would you do that? That's so sick! You're a monster?"

Kabuto got a serious look on his face, "Blame your blonde friend. He just had to be a thorn in Orochimaru-sama's side. First during the invasion of Konoha, then outside of Tanzaku Gai, then at the Valley of the End. You're a nuisance, Orochimaru-sama has it out for you now."

Naruto looked at Kabuto in a confused manner, "But why bring my mother back? If you're angry at me then what will that do?" He had a small smile on his face as he wiped away a tear, "All I ever wanted was to know who my parents were. At least now I not only know who my mom is, I've seen her. What will this do to get revenge on me?"

Kabuto tilted his glasses up on his face, "I'm so glad you asked Naruto-kun." Kabuto flicked his wrist in Naruto and Akiza's direction and a second later a fist was buried in both of their stomachs.

Both teens flew off of her fists and rolled to a stop in the sand. Naruto coughed up sand and looked up at his mother who seemed to have no emotion in her eyes, but when she opened her mouth to speak he could hear the emotion in her voice, "Naruto-kun… I'm so sorry."

Akiza looked up at Kabuto, "*cough* What did you do? What the hell is going on?"

Kabuto crossed his arms in a condescending fashion, "You didn't know? That's too bad." Kabuto smirked down at the fallen ninja, "Being that I brought her back, I am the one in control of her. *laugh* I control her actions, and right now her orders are to kill you both!"

Akiza gasped loudly, 'Fullmetal's own mother… has to kill him?'

Naruto's face went from sorrow, to shock, to absurd anger as he looked at Kabuto, "You son-of-a-bitch! I'll kill you! I swear to Kami I'm going to make you beg for your life you snake-fucking faggot!" Naruto stood up and attempted to rush Kabuto's position until Kushina appeared in front of him, "Kaa-sa-"

Naruto was cut off by Kushina drilling him in the face with a hard punch that sent him down to the ground off in the distance. Akiza stood up and ran over to his side, "Fullmetal! Fullmetal are you all right?"

Naruto's lip was split from the punch as Akiza helped him back to his feet. The pair looked at Kabuto who had turned his back, "All right then Kushina. Enjoy your 'quality time' with your son. Kill them both." Kabuto chose to walk away from the scene at this point, leaving the rest of them alone on the beach.

Naruto growled as he watched the Oto-nin walk away, "Don't you run away goddamn you! We aren't done here!" Naruto stood once again on wobbly legs.

Kabuto looked back one final time with his smug grin in place, "Have fun getting to know your mommy Naruto-kun. No need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine!" Kabuto sunk into the ground with the sound of his laughter echoing into the empty air.

Naruto was about to run off and search aimlessly for Kabuto before Kushina made her move once again and attacked the pair of himself and Akiza. Kushina actually had decent success with the two in close as she was able to get glancing blows on the two and avoid any damage herself, though only Akiza was attempting to return fire, unsuccessfully albeit.

The two were able to gain some distance from Kushina when Akiza took a punch in order to grab Naruto and assist by jerking him out of the fray. The two eyed Kushina warily when Akiza tapped Naruto on the shoulder, "Fullmetal, get your head in the game. Kabuto is gone, don't worry about that. We're in a fight to the death with a tough opponent here… Damn your mom is strong…"

Naruto cracked his own jaw and nodded, "Heh yeah. My mom kicked ass…"

Akiza sighed, "She's kicking _our_ asses right now. Get ready to hit her hard okay? We need to finish this fast."

Naruto cringed at the thought, "We can save her! She's my mother, I can't just kill her! I just found her!" Naruto looked out at the red-haired woman, "I lost her before I knew her… Why is this happening? I-I don't think I can fight her. My heart isn't in it."

Akiza looked at Naruto disapprovingly, "Fullmetal…"

Naruto backed off ever so much, "You're a jounin. Do you really think you need my help for this? You're strong."

Akiza gave him a dead-pan look, "You beat me twice soundly and now we're fighting the full grown, undead, female version of you. And she's fast. REALLY fast. And she hits hard as hell, and now you think you can just sit this out? We don't have an option here Fullmetal, its fight or die, for you _and_ me."

Unfortunately Akiza didn't have any more time to explain their plight to her partner as Kushina put an end to their down time by rushing them once more. Akiza ran out to meet her hand-to-hand again. Akiza opted to strike first, but once again her lack of knowledge and practical skill in taijutsu came back to bite her against another Uzumaki as when she attempted a long reaching punch Kushina caught her with a straight front kick to the body sending her flying backwards.

Akiza rolled through and stood just in time to trade fists with Kushina before getting caught with a knee to the body. Akiza tried to fire back with another punch but it was caught in Kushina's grasp before she pulled Akiza into a vicious kick to the side of her chest that took the air from her lungs. The girl dropped to the ground gasping for breath when Kushina gave her a stiff kick to the face that sprawled her out onto the sand and cut her over her eye.

Akiza grimaced on the ground and rolled out of the way of Kushina's axe kick and set herself upright once more, "Fullmetal I'm getting killed in here! Anytime you want to make an appearance would be fantastic!"

Naruto made five kage bunshin in response so that he could somehow fight without actually fighting, but his bunshin were just as disenfranchised with the whole situation as he was. Kushina turned her gaze to him and spoke with something almost sounding like pride, if she could emote in that state, "So you can do such a high-level jutsu so easily? That's wonderful sochi."

Kushina then proceeded to form the hand sign more familiar to Naruto than any other and spawn five kage bunshin of her own. Much to the surprise/chagrin of Naruto and his own bunshin, all of the Kushinas ran in to attack them. In the ensuing fracas there was one Kushina-bunshin casualty to the five that Naruto took.

The blonde then proceeded to be bounced around in a circle, taking a beating from all five bunshin and Kushina herself. Naruto felt like he was six years old again, taking a beating that he didn't think he had any right fighting back against, 'I can't do it… She's coming to kill me and I still can't bring myself to fight to kill…'

Akiza could only watch from the sidelines and take a short reprieve at the expense of Naruto garnering Kushina's attention for the time being. Cursing as she watched Naruto take Kushina's beating without even mustering a defense she bit her thumb and ran her hand signs for a summoning, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Sekki Kiritateru, Naginata no Eimin (Summoning Jutsu: Earth Slayer, the Eternal Halberd)!"

Akiza's halberd rose from the sand and flew into her hand. She twirled it before running at Kushina and her bunshin to bail Naruto out. She was engaged by two of Kushina's waiting bunshin and blocked a few of the clones' punches and kicks with the staff part of her weapon and began returning attacks to dispel the two.

After killing off two clones Kushina herself went to intercept Akiza. The Iwa-nin thrusted with her halberd, missing when Kushina spun out of the way. She blocked a kick from Kushina with the staff of her halberd and threw her backwards.

Kushina landed and went through hand signs. Akiza looked and noticed the water in the ocean stirring, "Oh shit…"

Kushina stopped on the tiger sign, "Suiton: Suishi no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Drowning Technique)!" A pillar of water flew from the ocean at Akiza. Akiza dodged deftly as fast as she could but the attack followed her anyway, it seemingly got faster the more it moved. She eventually lifted her naginata to block and was shot back, dragging her body into the sand.

Akiza stood slowly as she stabbed her weapon into the sand to help herself up. She spit some seawater out and wiped the sand and water from her face, 'This isn't good! Come on Fullmetal snap out of it, I need your help!'

Kushina then reached onto her back and into her cloak. Akiza cursed audibly when she saw metal shining in the sunlight being pulled from within her cloak. She began to sweat as Kushina eyed her with a blank stare. Kushina brandished a katana and stood in a battojutsu stance. Akiza held up her naginata in a defensive position, "Um Fullmetal, I need your help here. Could you get over here and give me a hand?"

She shot a glance to see he was sitting in the sand with a stunned stare, he hadn't even bothered to wipe the blood off of his face from the ass-kicking he had just taken even though his cuts had healed up. Akiza wanted to just run over and slap him to snap him out of it, but that was a bad idea for two reasons.

One, in a mental state like that, who knew if he would haul off and flip out on _her_ for doing that. The second reason was because Kushina ran her down again, forcing her to block with the pole of her weapon. Kushina's speed kept her from using stabs and swipes to keep her at a distance, which is the fighting style she had to use for such a long weapon. Blocking a vertical slash she tucked her arm underneath her own weapon and around the blunt side of the katana blade for an over-shoulder toss in an effort to disarm the red-haired kunoichi.

Kushina flipped through and landed in a ready stance, staring Akiza down once again. Akiza was huffing and puffing, the furious pace of the fight was taking its toll on her, 'What is it with this woman? We've been going at it full-on forever now and she doesn't look the least bit worse for wear. Not even Fullmetal had energy like that to burn, he was at least breathing heavily after a while.'

Akiza yelled as she charged ahead, spinning her Naginata to the point where it became a metal blur. Kushina raised her sword to block the countless attacks, "Kiwaminaki Kirichirasu (Endless Slashes To Cut Down All)!" Akiza's body began to glow blue with the intensity of her chakra as her speed increased just as she got into range.

Akiza began pushing Kushina back with the frequency and intensity of the strikes before the strength of the attack knocked Kushina's grip on her katana into the air. Akiza's eyes shone as she began cutting into Kushina's body countless times before cutting off her arm and kicking her to the ground.

She sighed and turned around, wiping the sweat from her brow and smiling at Naruto, "Okay, that should do it. She ain't getting up from that."

Naruto's eyes widened, but Akiza noticed he wasn't looking at her. She turned around to see Kushina not only standing, but her wounds and her arm regenerating bloodlessly, there was no blood at all even after all of the slashes from a bladed weapon.

Akiza cursed as Kushina picked her katana back up and attacked. Akiza's defense was sorely lacking this time around however, 'Damn it! I'm tired… Why do all of my attribute increasing jutsu have to be so physically draining? I'm a sitting duck like this.'

Kushina vanished behind her and cut her diagonally across her back from shoulder to her opposite hip and kicked her aside, hard. She then looked over at Naruto and paced over to him slowly. Naruto's fighting spirit was utterly gone. Not even Kyuubi could stir him from his funk, "**Kit come on already! Get up! She'll kill you! Do you really want to go out like this! What about Konoha! What about being the Hokage!**"

Naruto could hear her soul straining against the technique, "Sochi… Please run away. Get far away from me… I can't stop, no matter what I do my body won't listen. I am fully under the control of Kabuto's jutsu." She raised her sword overhead in a final stabbing position as she got ever closer.

Tears came to Naruto's eyes as he saw it come down. But the end never came for him. Akiza's pained face came into view, "Kami Fullmetal… You're such a bitch. Making me save you like this… it's really pretty pathetic."

Naruto felt a wet sensation dripping down on him and saw Kushina's sword piercing Akiza's body. Naruto shook as he reached up to touch her face, "Oh no… Akiza, why? Why did you save me?"

Akiza strained out a smile and removed his hand from her face, "I owed you… You could have let me drown back then but you didn't, and now we're even… *cough* Just don't waste the opportunity I gave you, okay?"

Akiza gasped as Kushina removed her sword kicked her aside. Kushina raised her sword again to finish Naruto off and sent it down at him once again. Naruto had the wherewithal the catch the blade in the grasp of his auto-mail arm, but Kushina continued to try pushing down.

Naruto's grip on the blade was shaky, 'Kaa-san… I can't die here. But you've suffered enough. I don't want to make you hurt anymore.'

"Fullmetal!"

Naruto saw Akiza trying in vain to crawl on the ground, collapsing in her own blood from her wounds, "That isn't your mother… It's just a golem that looks like her. She's trapped inside. Her soul, her skills. Everything that makes her useful to Kabuto is out for us to see, but her true spirit is trapped." She groaned and let her head rest on the sand, "Set her free Fullmetal… This is all you can do for her now. Destroy the body of that horrible jutsu and let her rest… It's what she deserves."

Naruto kept struggling with the sword as he looked up into non-responsive eyes of Kushina. He looked over at Akiza who was barely conscious after losing a ton of blood and back up at Kushina as Kyuubi spoke inside of his head, "**Kit the girl is right. Your mother doesn't want this. She doesn't want to kill you, just the fact that she was able to speak to you against the effects of the jutsu proves how hard she's trying to fight back.**"

Naruto's grip on the sword increased and Kushina jumped away before he could attempt to break the point with his bare hand. Naruto stood up and looked at Kushina sadly, "Kaa-san… I'm so sorry this is how we had to see each other. All I can say is that I swear I'll make Kabuto pay endlessly for perverting your memory like this." He clapped and transmuted his arm-blade and set himself into a stance, "It's time for me to set you free…"

No more words were exchanged between them. Naruto ran in to attack, swinging his blade sideways. Kushina blocked his arm-blade and was forced to jump back as Naruto attempted a back-spin to catch her off-guard and cut her from the other side. Kushina up-slashed back but had it deflected off of his arm and attempted a downward slash, but was blocked by Naruto. She maneuvered her sword so that she could stab through his block into his chest.

Naruto got away with naught but a shallow stab on his chest. Ignoring his blood dripping down his chest he noticed Akiza limping over to his side, "Akiza? Stay down, you've already gotten hurt fighting my battle, let me handle this."

Akiza coughed up blood as she leaned on her halberd, "You're still a fool. She's going to kill both of us if we don't win here. I couldn't handle her on my own so I'm damn sure you can't either." She reached into her pouch and pulled out a pair of blood pills and a soldier pill before popping them and swallowing with a grimace, "Okay, I'm not sure how long that will hold me over for, but I suspect I might have to stick strictly to the up-close stuff. Whoopee, I get to trade blade strikes with your crazy-good mom."

Naruto patted the girl on her shoulder and gave her a smile, "Well this time at least I'll be right there with you. I just have one request." At the sound of Akiza's inquisitive grunt his grin widened, "Just don't stab me or something while we're in there, I'm sick of pulling that long-ass blade out of my body."

Naruto and Akiza rushed Kushina with Naruto jumping over her as they got close, forcing her to pick one of them to focus on. She made a quick slash for Akiza and turned just in time to block a swipe of the arm from Naruto. She kicked off of him at his head to avoid getting stabbed by Akiza, the blade passing the space between them, and punched her in the face.

Naruto used the distance put between them to focus the chakra in one of his hands until a blue orb formed and brought a smile to his face. He ran back in against the distracted foe and thrusted the attack into her body, "Rasengan!"

When Akiza looked up her eyes widened at the sight of the infamous jutsu, 'Amazing… just like him… I know that such a jutsu isn't common knowledge… Who are you Fullmetal?'

Deep within the recesses of the golem in the form of his mother, Kushina's soul was stirred by the attack, 'You really are your father's son. I'm so proud of you sochi…'

Naruto's attack ground itself deeply into Kushina's body, grinding away her torso into ash and shooting her off, spinning and flying into the dirt/sand.

Akiza looked up at Naruto accusingly, "Fullmetal, how do you know that jutsu? Do you know what you just used?"

Naruto looked confused, "It's the Rasengan, yeah I know. I was taught by my sensei, ero-sennin? Is there a problem with it?" Before anymore words could be spoken Naruto narrowly dodged another rapid-fire attack from Kushina and moved next to Akiza.

Naruto growled angrily, "She's still this fast? This is ridiculous."

Akiza snorted in acknowledgment, "You're telling me. I cut her up and she just walked right through it. *cough*" She wiped the blood from her lips and ignored the blood dripping down her body, "I cut her arm off and you can see how well that worked out."

Naruto went into thought as he remembered an old conversation from nine months prior.

_(Flashback – After the Invasion of Konoha)_

_Naruto could barely keep his seat as he listened to Jushiro's story about his previous battle against Orochimaru and the first two Hokage he summoned to assist him._

"_Well come on Big Boss… What happened? What was it like." Naruto, after hearing that Jushiro had played a part in a battle against multiple kage-level ninja felt a little ripped off despite beating a massive demon and saving the village from a reckless rampage._

_Jushiro ran his fingers through his own hair trying to collect his thoughts, "Calm down runt. It wasn't as cool as you'd think it was."_

_Naruto looked at him in disbelief, "No way… All of those powerful ninja and you say the fight wasn't cool?"_

_Jushiro waved his hands defensively, "No, no not the fight, that was totally badass. Mokuton is retarded cool to see, wish I could do that, and the old monkey took it to Orochimaru's ass… No, I meant that for such a high-level fight, the banter was none too smart. I mean not even Kakashi gave me anything to work with. Do you know how hard it is trying to be comic relief when no one will throw you a bone? It was maddening."_

_Naruto growled dangerously, "Big Boss… Stop fucking with me…"_

_Jushiro ignored the threat to think, "Actually, now that I think about it, that is kind of weird. The other two kage fighting Kakashi and Gai didn't talk at all. That and the Nidaime Hokage took a hellafied ass-whooping from Gai when he started opening the gates and he just stood right up from it and kept going, and Kakashi shoved that Raikiri right through the Shodaime's chest, it looked like the attacks didn't even register. If I hadn't gone for Big Fucking Transmutation when I did then who knows what could have happened?"_

(End Flashback)

"Oh hell…"

Akiza raised an eyebrow at Naruto's declaration, "What? What's wrong?"

Naruto sighed and looked over to her, "You wouldn't happen to have a guaranteed, one-shot one-kill jutsu on you would you?"

Akiza shook her head 'no' forcing Naruto to palm his forehead, "Damn it all. Now what? Because nothing short of a 'holy-shit-there's-no-way-she's-getting-up-from-that' kind of move will end this."

Akiza panned her eyes back to Kushina, "Well hell if I know? Don't you know any?"

Naruto stomped his foot childishly, "Damn it what kind of jounin are you? Kakashi would have not only said yes, he would have asked me what kind of element I needed it in by now!"

Akiza snapped back at him, "Yeah, because he's fucking 'Copy Ninja Kakashi.' The guy that steals everybody else's move. Get me a Sharingan eye, come back in seven years and I'll show you what I have for you then… ungrateful bastard."

"Ugh fine! We'll wing it!" Naruto clapped his hands to initiate a transmutation before looking out at the ocean and pointing, "Holy shit what the hell is that!"

Kushina and Akiza looked out to find absolutely nothing but crashing waves.

"Sogekihei Sandan (Shot Sniper)!"

A metal slug passed through Kushina's head as she dropped onto the sand. Akiza looked at Naruto to see a smoking tube-arm pointing out at Kushina, "Fullmetal what in the name of Yamahime is that!"

Naruto turned his arm back to a blade, "That was Sogekihei Sandan. It's really good for long range stuff… REALLY good." Their attention was reformed by Kushina standing with her head reforming in some kind of ash-like material, "Oh come on! That totally obliterated her head! Don't zombies die when you destroy the brain or something?" Naruto pulled out a notebook and flipped through it furiously, "See right here! **Basics of Undead Zombie disposal:** 'The best way to kill a zombie is by removing the head or destroying the brain!' How the fuck did that _not_ destroy the brain!"

Akiza grabbed the book and flipped through it for a bit before nodding, "Yeah but you forgot zombie survival rule #4: Double-tap." She clicked her tongue pitifully, "…You should have sprung for the full-metal jacket…"

Naruto grabbed his head in grief, "Goddamn double-tap! I don't have metal to waste on a second shot like that! I ain't made of money!"

Akiza turned away haughtily, "Well then maybe you should have gotten in close and clubbed her over the head with that billy-club you call an arm to make sure she was dead"

Naruto palmed his face and shook his head, "I just fucking shot my mom in the head with a red hot chunk of metal the size of the half of my index finger and she didn't die…" Naruto looked out at undead-Kushina apologetically, "Sorry Kaa-san. I'm pretty sure you felt that somewhere. My bad."

Kushina simply rushed back in and slashed at both younger ninja forcing them to separate. Kushina engaged Naruto in a series of blinding slash attacks. When Akiza ran in to attack from behind Kushina lashed out with a back kick that hit her where she had been heavily wounded earlier in the fight.

Akiza held her wound while on the ground, "Why is your mom so badass at this Fullmetal? She's absurdly good."

Naruto ducked a swing intended to take out his head and stood back up, missing a bladed uppercut, "I don't know whether I should be proud, pissed off, scared for my life, or some combination of the three." As they clashed in a stalemate once more Naruto bit a place on the inside of his mouth, "Naruto Uzumaki Hijutsu: Ketsuekiri no Jutsu (Naruto Uzumaki Hidden Technique: Blood Mist Jutsu)."

Naruto spat a fine mist of his own blood into Kushina's face, blinding her momentarily and helped Akiza to her feet. Akiza looked at Kushina rubbing her eyes, "Did I ever tell you that move is gross Fullmetal?"

Naruto was breathing deeply, "Make me a dragon Akiza."

'He's finally getting tired…' Akiza nodded and flew through hand-signs while Naruto did his own, "Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Dragon Jutsu)!"

Naruto stopped and made his own attack, "Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!"

The two dragons were formed from the sea and from the path behind the beach before the rushed at Kushina, who was still blinded by her son's blood mist. The two dragons exploded upon contact with each other and Kushina, showering the beach in drizzle and fragments of rock. A snap rainstorm started just on cue of the fake rain ending.

Akiza punched Naruto in the arm playfully as they stood on the drenched beach, "Well now, that had to do it. Nobody could get up after that, dead or not." Akiza looked around at the beach, the bloodstains that had set into the sand being slowly drained by the rainwater.

Naruto then saw Kushina's drenched figure rising from the ocean before vanishing in a burst of speed, "Fuck." Naruto threw Akiza to the side hard just in time for Kushina to impale him up to the hilt on her katana.

"No!" Akiza tried to stand back up when her vision went blurry, 'No! I ran out of time… I can't move anymore.' She tried clawing her way closer to the fight futilely.

Naruto was shaking as he felt the cold, sharp metal of his mother's sword piercing his chest. Looking up into her eyes he felt nothing but sorrow for what he had to do.

_(Flashback – After the Invasion of Konoha)_

_Jushiro looked at Naruto seriously , "Edo Tensei is just another one of Orochimaru's perverse pursuits for knowledge on eternal life. It's a kinjutsu for many reasons, mostly because it is a mockery of natural life. A slap in the face of the Shinigami itself. All anyone can do in this case is eradicate it. No matter what form it takes, it must be destroyed."_

_He placed a hand on Naruto's arm, "In this case just be glad that you don't know your parents. Can you imagine their eyes looking upon you as they try to take your life? And the thought that you yourself have to be the one to finish them?_"

(End Flashback)

Spitting blood onto the sands he shut his eyes tightly, 'Kyuubi-chan, give me a tail…' Kyuubi raged in his mind, "**Give you a tail? I'm trying to keep you alive after she pierced your lung! I can't divert any power for you right now! Get off of her sword and keep your distance!**"

Naruto groaned as Kushina's hilt pushed against his body, 'I won't get a better chance to finish her than this! Just give me the power for one shot, please!'

Kyuubi sat silently and sighed as she channeled her chakra into Naruto, "**You'd better not die you idiot or I'll get someone to resurrect you with Edo Tensei just so I can kick your ass.**"

Naruto's features became more feral as his one-tailed chakra cloak took form. He looked up at Kushina as tears came to his eyes, "**I'm so sorry Kaa-san… I would never do this to you if you were really here with me. Please forgive me.**"

Naruto opened his mouth as a red-light appeared in the back of his throat, tears now streaming down his face to mix with the rain, 'I'm so sorry...' "**Onijutsu: Kitsune Hakkaten (Demon Technique: Fox Flash)!**"

The powerful beam blew Kushina away and pulled the sword out of Naruto's body as the red beam turned her completely to ash, leaving nothing behind. Naruto crawled over to the sword laying on the beach before it too turned to ash and was washed away by the rain.

Naruto turned and began crawling to Akiza slowly, "Ugh… Sorry Akiza… It's my fault you got so hurt here. If I had been fighting with you from the start then maybe we wouldn't have to die here."

Akiza wanted to say that they weren't going to die out there, but she could barely even keep her eyes open to watch him crawl over, there wasn't any use in lying to him, neither of them had the strength to get the other to a doctor or anyone who could help, "You talk too much Fullmetal. Shut up now, talking makes you die…"

Naruto chuckled humorlessly, "We're already dead… Hey Akiza…" When he saw her looking at him through half-lidded eyes he smiled as he slowly set his head down onto the sand and loosely grabbed her hand, "Thanks… For the help…" He shut his eyes and stopped moving.

Akiza smiled herself at his words, "Fullmetal you're such a bitch… *laughs* I can't believe you passed out before me." With that she shut her own eyes and went blank.

The two were unconscious and bleeding out in the rain until a familiar tall white-haired man carrying an umbrella walked onto the scene, "*whistles lowly* Damn gaki you sure know how to make a mess don't you?" He looked at the girl he was holding hands with and chuckled, "Well at least I've got some ball-busting to look forward to when he wakes up."

He bit his thumb and made a few hand-signs, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)" As a summoning array appeared on the ground a large orange toad appeared, "Hey Gama. Alright help me get these kids out of here before they die in the rain like in a bad movie."

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**Done with the chapter and the overall arc. So how was the fight? Decent I hope. I wonder if I made Naruto too emo at the start but come on, it's your dead mother dude. Who can fight their dead mother and keep their composure? If you can say you could then I have to say what the fuck happened to you make you okay with that shit?**

**Next arc will begin Naruto's training and travelling with Jiraiya. Note how I separate 'training' and 'travelling' because as I've said before, in the anime I'm convinced that all Jiraiya had Naruto do was walk all over God's green earth with him and tell him to make a big-ass Rasengan without any directions. Fuck that, we're actually going to learn something in my story. Also it will start getting somewhat hilarious again. Haha time is back on!**

**It's noon in my area of living and I don't work today. Time to get some m'f'n lunch, take a nap, and wash my car because that's what heroes do! Read, review… get your own lunch and/or car and carry on.**

**Thanks to all who show interest in the ramblings of a madman, Kenchi out.**


	44. 5Finger Face Toucher

Review Shoutouts

**Neccor: That was a running gag my friend. Glad you liked it.**

**JetSaiga: Of course it was great, I'm awesome, but it's okay, when it comes to myself I love to repeat my previous statements!**

**Zeromaru Chaos Mode: Wow… didn't see that coming. Yes, yes you HAVE, damn. He did make Naruto out like a bitch in front of the fucking Raikage, I wouldn't beg like that for my own friend, especially if he did some dumb shit like that, fuck him. And yes, if he doesn't get something truly kick-ass to match Sasuke 'I-get-a-new-kill-you-painfully-in-one-shot-move-every-other-chapter' Uchiha then I will get pissed off. If he kills off Hinata then I will raise a bitch fit the likes of which that no one has or will ever see! **

**And I like when people rant, it's entertaining.**

**ThirdParty: No you're not crazy. Reading that is good for the soul, and Kabuto won't be getting his for a while so don't worry about it.**

**someone: It would be dangerous for all involved to let my imagination run wild. Hell, I give it too much freedom as it is. Sometimes I think it's more powerful than me… Sometimes real-life experience has to come in and slap my imagination across the face to keep him down.**

**irae2007: Very astute sir, you know you CoD add-ons I see.**

**Jyuubi6: Holy shit I didn't even think of that as innuendo… I must be some kind of secret genius…**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or Fullmetal Alchemist, or my car, or my house, or my beautiful PS3. All I own are the myriad of insane, improbable and potentially inappropriate thoughts running through my mind, and that is a quite an experience in of itself.

**Chapter 44: 5-Finger Face Toucher**

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"Stone me bloody crows my aching head… Am I alive or am I dead?" Akiza's eyes opened to a blinding white light that forced her to clinch her eyes shut again for a moment so that she could adjust. She looked around to realize she was in a hotel room.

"What the hell?" She felt the pain in her body from the previous battle but when she lifted the covers to check she saw she had been patched up. At this moment she took notice of a few things:

Her hair was down and she was in completely different clothes than she had blacked out in. I.E. A long t-shirt and panties.

Whoever did the work on her did a shitty job because she could feel that the slightest movement could re-open her stitches.

She was not alone in the bed.

She realized that Naruto was right next to her and was shirtless. Choking down her embarrassment at the moment she tried waking him up, "Fullmetal."

Nothing.

"Fullmetal wake up…"

Nothing.

"Goddamn it Fullmetal! We are in unfamiliar territory right now! I'm hurt, you're hurt, and this is awkward. I'll be damned if I'm the only one conscious for this!"

Naruto slowly began to stir and opened his eyes with a yawn. He turned over towards Akiza and allowed his eyes to focus, "Akiza? …Goddamn it's bright in here… Are we dead?"

Akiza gave him a dry look, "Yes Fullmetal we're dead… They ran out of beds in heaven so they made us share this one…"

Naruto looked confused, "Really?"

Akiza popped him in the head, "NO you idiot! …Crap, I think I popped a stitch." As she lifted the covers to check Naruto wisely diverted his gaze, "Ugh, it's just sore. Now what are we going to do? We got picked up by who-knows-who and we're too fucked up to fight back."

Naruto shook his head, "No, _you're_ too fucked up to fight back. I, on the other hand, am feeling as fresh as a daisy." Akiza said nothing and simply poked him in the chest where he was stabbed by Kushina, "OW GODDAMN IT THAT HURT!"

Akiza smirked at his discomfort, "What? I thought you were 'as fresh as a daisy'?"

Naruto rubbed his bandaged chest wound, "I'm fine if you don't touch it!" He then grumbled under his breath, "…Crazy rock bitch…"

Akiza got a tick mark on her head and poked him in his chest again.

"Ow damn you!" Naruto chose to return fire by poking her in her belly where she had been stabbed in return.

"Ow! You son-of-a-bitch!" She jabbed him with her finger right back

"Fuck! Crazy rock bitch!" he patted her stomach roughly like a bongo drum.

"Fullmetal Asshole!" She scratched the area that was bandaged over like a cat.

The scene Jiraiya walked into upon opening the door was both of them glaring at one another intently, cursing the other out vehemently under their breath, and currently grappling with each other's wrists while taking shots at the other. A grin broke across his face, "Naruto, save the rough stuff and whispering the sweet nothings to her for when you're both healed."

They both blushed brightly and broke apart when Naruto realized who was there, "Ero-sennin! You saved us?"

Jiraiya nodded, his wide grin still in place on his face, "Yep, I sure did brat. What would you do without me?" He looked them both over, "So how are you two feeling now?"

Naruto and Akiza looked at their wounds appraisingly.

"My chest is tight…"

"My torso feels stiff and rigid."

They both answered in unison, "You did a shitty job."

Jiraiya face-fell at hearing their duel proclamations, "Hey damn it! I did the best I could! I'm no medical ninja here, who do you want Tsunade?"

Akiza's face went thoughtful for a second, "You saved us… So did you see the fight?"

Jiraiya nodded, "Yes I did. You two did a great job, Kushina was quite a powerful ninja when she was alive, I can only imagine how the fight was when she was dead."

Akiza nodded, "Uh huh… Sir could you come over here for a moment if it isn't too much trouble?" She asked Jiraiya sweetly.

He walked over to her and looked down on the bed, "What's the matter sweetheart? Are you in pain?"

Akiza shook her head 'no' and proceeded to smash her elbow between his legs hard. As he dropped to his knees he wheezed out, "Why?"

Akiza sneered at him and shoved him over onto the floor, "You saw us fighting, Fullmetal said you were strong, and you didn't help us!"

Jiraiya crawled away and pulled himself upright with the help of a dresser, "Hey, didn't he tell you I was supposed to be leaving him to his own devices for six months? He dug that hole himself, it would have been unethical for the lesson if I had jumped in and fought his battle for him."

Akiza threw the clock by the bed at him, "He said six months was over weeks ago. Six months were over when he fought me! What the hell took so long to find him? It's not like he was keeping a low profile! _I_ found him in days!"

Jiraiya looked at her sheepishly, "Well you see… I kind of got caught up with my research in Kaze no Kuni, so I was kind of held up from catching the kid sooner." Jiraiya looked at the downcast look on Naruto's face, 'The kid must be down because he just remembered he fought his mom to the death the other day.'

Jiraiya made a motion to move towards Naruto, "Hey gaki are you going to be okay?"

Naruto spoke up in a strained voice, "Ero-sennin… Could you come here for me?"

Jiraiya nodded and made his way to Naruto's bedside, "Are you alright Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head as a sadistic tint came over his eyes. Naruto punched Jiraiya in the balls with his auto-mail arm and slammed his head into the nightstand repeatedly before finally dropping him. Jiraiya shakily stood back up when Akiza pelted him with the lamp on her nightstand, "What is wrong with you two brats?"

Naruto gave him a hard look, "You watched me fight my mother to the death."

Akiza followed suit, "You watched us get our asses kicked and didn't do a damn thing."

"You let Kabuto-teme get away."

"You had me and Fullmetal wandering around the ass end of butt-fucking nowhere forever."

"You sent me off on a dangerous road fucking blindfolded!"

"You set Fullmetal, and by proxy, me up to take a heaping load of bullshit for six months!"

"You put us in the same goddamn bed when we woke up!"

"You did a shitty job on our stitches! It looks like a blind monkey with Down's Syndrome tried to write his name on me in Braille!"

"You undressed her and saw her naked you pervert!"

You _undressed_ me and saw me naked? You pervert!"

Akiza summoned her naginata and threw it at Jiraiya who deftly dodged as it deposited itself into the wall and shot her a shit-eating grin, "Meh whatever. You're too young, I've seen better than you anyway." He noticed the fuming look on her face, "What'cha gonna do about it now _loli_? You're out of stuff to throw." His answer was a screaming blonde boy sailing at his head from across the room.

Akiza glared at Jiraiya dangerously, "_Loli_ that you dirty old piece of shit…"

Picking himself off of Jiraiya holding his chest Naruto stomped back over to the bed and got in, "I'm still hurt bitch."

Akiza stuck her tongue out at him, "Why did you get back into this bed? That one's open."

Naruto shrugged and pulled the covers back up to his neck, "It's warm in this one. We've already been in it for who knows how long so who cares at this point?"

"You've both been out of it for three days…" Jiraiya stood back up rubbing his head and sat down on the other bed, "Never thought I'd see the day that the gaki here would go down for any longer than a day."

Naruto crossed his arms and looked away, "Well when your _kaa-san_ stabs you in the chest, kicks your ass and then you bleed out on a beach it's kind of hard to get that extra oomph to get up in the morning."

Jiraiya nodded solemnly but then smirked, "Are you sure you just didn't like the feeling of cozying up to your girl for three days?"

Naruto glared at him, "I will transmute some wooden kunai from this nightstand for her to throw at you… My arms still work just fine."

Jiraiya waved him off, "So who is she anyway? She seems way too strong to just be some wandering ninja."

Naruto looked at Akiza who nodded her consent, "Okay ero-sennin, calm down and listen to me completely. Talk when I'm done alright?" Jiraiya nodded, "This is Akiza Tamagawa. She is-." Akiza elbowed him in the back, "-Was a jounin from Iwagakure, and she tried to kill me twice." Akiza rolled her eyes when Naruto finished his base introduction of her.

Jiraiya was about to spout off when a sharp gaze from Naruto calmed him down, "After the last time she told me she could never return until she killed me. I asked her what she had keeping her tied to that place. There wasn't anything, and that basically gave her permission to go off on her own seeing as how they for all intents and purposes kicked her out."

Jiraiya stroked his chin, "A little girl like you a jounin? …Huh, that Onoki always was a right bastard…"

Akiza nodded as Naruto continued, "Apparently, seeing as how my being so undeniably awesome was the entire reason behind it she decided to tag along with me for a while. I don't really have any problems with it and I know from personal experience how much ass she can kick, because it was usually mine." Akiza smiled brightly at that.

Jiraiya gave her a hard look that she kind of shied away from, "Do you know who I am girl?"

She shook her head, "No… Fullmetal always called you ero-sennin."

Jiraiya almost face-fell but he caught himself and recovered with a smile before proceeding to give his long-ass blown up introduction. After he was done they sat in silence; Jiraiya still in his pose, Naruto holding his face in his hand and shaking his head, and Akiza looking on wide-eyed.

Akiza lifted her hand and pointed at Jiraiya, "You're Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin? The legendary gama-sennin of Konoha?" Jiraiya nodded proudly as Akiza's eyes widened even more, "Why are you not killing me right now? I just told you I was from Iwagakure."

Jiraiya waved it off, "Bah, you're too young to be any sort of knowledgeable about the last war. Nationalities don't concern me, and if the brat trusts you then I guess I have to give you a shot won't I? Besides, you got his ass into gear during that battle and made him fight back."

Naruto's eyes turned dark, "Kabuto better hope I never see him again or I'll peel off his skin with a spoon. Who the fuck does he think he is? Does he honestly think being Orochimaru's ass-bitch is going to keep me from taking him out?"

Jiraiya sighed, "Naruto you can't just chase Orochi-."

Naruto cut him off, "Ero-sennin I could give a fuck less about the snake-pedophile, that's your fight. I just want his most prolific little ass-toy, I'll leave to big snake to you, the little bitch is mine. You better make sure when you go off after him again you're taking me with you so I can show him just how much I 'appreciated' my reunion with my mother."

Jiraiya took note of Naruto's tone, "Are you sure you want this? Orochimaru's right-hand man isn't a slouch."

Naruto chuckled, "Hey what Kabuto's right hand does to Orochimaru is his own business. The slimy fuck is slippery, more slippery than Orochimaru himself because he doesn't have the power to back it up like your old teammate does, so he's quicker to run, and he's better at it. After all, he was the spy in our village. I almost killed him already my damn self, next time I'll make sure he dies nameless."

Jiraiya stood up, "Well then, if that's the case then we'll just have to hit the ground running when we get out of here won't we?"

Naruto's eyes lit up, "You mean you're actually going to teach me something instead of dropping me alone, thus ending up with me fighting kages and Iwa-ninja with attitude problems?"

"Hey!" Akiza crossed her arms across her chest, "I saved you from death by impalement. You could at least be nice to me."

Naruto looked back at her, "And you could call me by my name instead of just Fullmetal."

Jiraiya stroked his chin and shut his eyes, "You know long-standing nicknames are the first step to a long-lasting personal relationship…" Jiraiya's eyes snapped open as he heard rustling in the bed.

"Stop trying to fucking throw me at him damn it!"

"Well tell your stupid sensei to shut the hell up!"

"I can't control the things he says you insane bitch! Let go!"

"Don't call me a bitch you Konoha pussy!"

Naruto got into her face, "Call me a pussy again and I'll punch you in the fucking stomach!"

Akiza did likewise, "You punch me in the stomach and I'll head-butt you in the chest you ass!"

Jiraiya had slinked over to the door, "I'll just let you two get situated… Rest up for now, there's no need to rush before you're healed. I'll bring food for you later." Before he shut the door he had to get one more jab in, "And don't too active with each other, you'll both need your strength soon. If you do, then don't be too loud I don't feel like getting calls from the hotel staff!"

He snickered and shut the door amid the cries of denial from both teens. Pulling out a notebook and writing he spoke to himself, "This brat is actually helping with my next book! Two ninja from enemy nations meet and the sparks fly! It'll be a bestseller!"

XxX

Over the course of the next couple of nights Naruto couldn't sleep. During the day he got by off of short naps interrupted by either Jiraiya or Akiza doing something to wake him up. They didn't know he hadn't really been sleeping or they might have let him lye. Whenever he tried sleeping at night he always had the same visions of his fight with his mother, and how he ended her 'life' was what stuck out the most.

Once again Naruto was awoken from his sleep. He took great care to exit the bed softly because he was still sharing with Akiza, seeing as how Jiraiya had taken the other. He looked and saw Jiraiya was not in his own bed, 'Figures, he probably hit the bars the second we fell asleep…'

Naruto left to head to the bathroom as nature called for the night, "Every fucking time… always leaves fucking drops in my pants…" After he finished and took to washing his hands he stared at himself long in the mirror taking note of his haggard appearance and tapped his head with his auto-mail, "Get out of there…" He dried his hands and shut off the light in the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Naruto sighed and walked across the room to the window to open it and leave through. He jumped through the open window and landed on the rooftop where he found an unlikely person to share the roof with.

Jiraiya raised his hand in a friendly wave as he noticed his apprentice up there with him, "Hey gaki, couldn't sleep huh?'

Naruto saw him holding a bottle of sake and sat down nearby, "Nah… Not really. Getting drunk on the roof? Aren't taverns for that kind of thing?"

Jiraiya filled his bowl and tossed it back quickly, "Sometimes you've just got to do some things alone kid. So what's been bothering you?"

Naruto gave a sad smile, "It's noticeable huh?" He scratched the back of his head, "So how long could you tell I was upset."

Jiraiya snorted and took a sip of sake, "Since the second you knew I had seen the fight. That look on your face showed too much real emotion, you were legitimately pissed at me. And truthfully I don't blame you. But kid, I really thought I was doing the right thing."

Naruto scoffed and looked at the large man, "The right thing? Fighting my mom was the right thing? Are you kidding me?"

Jiraiya shook his head, "No, I'm serious. Kid in this life you're going to end up doing some very hard things. Imagine having to kill your best friend, someone you grew up with, shed blood with, and grew to know almost like you were family." He shook his head, "Things like that are commonplace in our world. You proved that you can move past something like that. You fought your own mother the way you were supposed to. It was meant to be a lesson, it was a sucky lesson, but for a kid like you it was one that had to be taught."

He motioned for Naruto to come closer and when Naruto sat by him he continued, "Kid bad situations flock to you like no one I've ever met before. It's amazing how much you actually get into, intentional or not. In six months you got involved in Kiri's civil war and killed their kage, you got even more on Iwa's radar, fought off an assassin, turned said assassin to your side, fought your own mother, and had sex with the aforementioned assassin."

Naruto nodded until he finished, "Wait, are you mental? I didn't have sex with her. And she still hates me."

Jiraiya shook his head and ruffled Naruto's hair, "Oh gaki don't you know anything? She acts like she hates you, yet she still spends time with you when she doesn't have to. And I know you didn't have sex with her. I'm just accounting for future events."

Naruto blushed as he heard Kyuubi agreeing in his head, "Is that all you can talk about? We were having a serious conversation here!"

Jiraiya chuckled darkly, "It's only a matter of time brat…" He dodged a swing from Naruto and made his way to the edge of the rooftop before Naruto's voice stopped him.

"Wait ero-sennin. Before we left Konoha you said you had something you needed to tell me. Well I'm all ears."

Jiraiya slowly turned back around, "Do you really want to do this here kid?" Naruto nodded as Jiraiya sighed at his action, "Is this really the time for it?"

Naruto growled, "You said you'd tell me when we got out on the road, you ducked the question until you could ditch me, now you're answering this question or I'm going to torment you until you do."

Jiraiya shook his head and sat back down on the roof, "Okay kid… I'll ask that you shut up until I'm done, this is kind of a big deal. And this is going to take a while."

Naruto shrugged, "It's not like I'm getting sleep these days anyway. Let's do this."

Jiraiya rubbed between his eyes, "Alright, now I'll start out with a little question. What did you try going out to Uzu no Kuni for?"

XxX

(20 Minutes Later)

THUMP THUMP THUMP!

Akiza's eyes shot open as loud thumping noises came from above her. As soon as they started however they stopped, as a fierce thudding noise began making its way across the rooftop next. The next thing she knew Naruto swung into the window and shut it. As he made his way to the bed without a sound as he climbed in pulled the covers around his neck facing away from her and went to sleep.

Akiza said nothing and turned away to her own side, 'Okay? That was weird…'

XxX

(The Next Day – On the road to Hi no Kuni)

Akiza noticed the tension between Naruto and Jiraiya. She also noticed the lovely little shiner and fat lip Jiraiya was sporting as well. When she asked him about it he responded, 'Fell down some stairs. You kids watch where you get drunk.' Naruto snorted loudly and averted his gaze from them both soon thereafter.

Akiza sidled up to Naruto as his scowl was replaced by a look of curiosity, "Akiza? What's the matter, is something wrong?"

"You tell me." Akiza looked over at Jiraiya and resumed her eye-contact with Naruto, "You two have been frigid ever since we left this morning. What happened last night? You seemed upset when you came in."

Naruto looked at her apologetically, "I woke you up last night? I'm sorry. It's a long story and I'm not sure I should tell it yet."

'He doesn't quite trust me yet huh?' Akiza shook her head dismissively, "It's okay Fullmetal. We all have our secrets, I just hope you can tell me soon. I'm not going anywhere for a while you know."

Naruto gave her a short glance before turning back to the road, "Maybe…" 'Although when you find out how would you feel then?'

Akiza knew she wouldn't get anything more from him so she walked forward to Jiraiya, "Um, Jiraiya-sama? What's wrong with Naruto. He looks like someone kicked his puppy or something."

Jiraiya looked down at her, "Well it's not really something he's much at liberty to talk about. It's kind of a big-time village secret and you really aren't from our village. Having the information in question floating around the Elemental Nations wouldn't really be good for his health if you know what I'm saying."

She frowned but nodded, "I guess so. Fullmetal has enough problems as it is without putting himself on the world stage even more than he is now."

Jiraiya smiled slightly, "Glad you see it my way. Anyway, like Naruto said, you're free to accompany us as far as you wish, but we won't be going anywhere near Iwa for obvious reasons. If you ask I can teach you some things, but I can't show you too much, I'm here to train the gaki after all."

Akiza smiled brightly, "I don't care about Iwa, I can't go back anyway unless I kill Fullmetal, but I don't see a reason to, he's too nice. And if you're willing to help me get stronger then of course I'll stay for as long as I can."

"Good. Jiraiya gazed back out onto the road ahead, "We're going to root down soon so that I can start teaching the kid." He looked back at the scowling Naruto, "Is it just me or is he bigger than he was six months ago?"

Akiza nodded, "I noticed that too. I fought him seven months ago and when I saw him again he looked like a growth spurt hit him or something. He wouldn't say anything about it though so I let it drop."

Jiraiya's face looked serious, 'It must be the Kyuubi super-charging his system.' He took a look at Naruto and noted he had grown almost a head taller since before. In addition to that his clothes seemed somewhat tighter and he had ditched the cloak, seeing as it was hot today, 'Probably going to have to buy him some new gear soon.'

Naruto took note of Jiraiya looking at him and smirked, "What? I know my whisker-marks are sexy and everything but I'd rather Akiza admired them and not you ero-sennin."

Akiza whirled around quickly, "As if Fullmetal. I go for more grown up types. The whiskers make you look like you got lost in a face-painting tent." Naruto gave her a cheeky grin that made her scoff and turn around.

Naruto shrugged and moved up closer to them, deciding it was time to bury the hatchet here he spoke to Jiraiya, "Hey ero-sennin?" Jiraiya looked legitimately surprised that Naruto was speaking to him so soon after the night before, "You said you were going to start my training. So what are we going to be working on?"

Jiraiya grinned, "Well you can utilize your 'special' chakra to an effective level, and you have Rasengan down to a science."

Akiza interjected, "So what about his taijutsu?"

Before Naruto could take a shot at her Jiraiya spoke again, "He already had good taijutsu, the only knock against him before was that he was too short and small to use it effectively on most enemies. When he fought people his own size he usually beat the crap out of them, when you fought people older and bigger than you, you had to keep your distance mostly. I know because I saw you fight the Hyuuga kid at the chunin exams, good on you by the way."

Naruto grinned sheepishly until he asked a question, "Well, what are we going to do then? Are you going to teach me another kick-ass jutsu like Rasengan?"

Jiraiya shook his head, "We're going to be getting you to develop your elemental affinity kid."

"Elemental wha-?" Naruto was drawing a blank in that department.

Akiza looked at his disbelievingly, "Are you kidding? You don't know your affinity? Geez Fullmetal your jounin-sensei must have sucked."

Naruto kicked a rock in the road, "Well Kakashi wasn't much of a teacher I'll tell you that…"

Jiraiya handed a slip of paper to both Naruto and Akiza, "Well then little missy, if you know about affinities then you can explain them to our brain-dead brat here."

Akiza nodded, "Okay Fullmetal, there are five main elements that ninja use. The bulk of our jutsu are derived from these elements; they are fire, water, wind, lightning, and earth."

Naruto gave her a deadpan look, "Yeah, I knew that… I'm not remedial Akiza."

Akiza lightly tapped him on the head, "Listen… To find out what type you are you just channel some chakra into this slip of paper." Akiza demonstrated as her paper turned to dust, "If it crumbles like that it means earth, if it bursts into flames then it's fire, if it gets soggy then it's water, if it splits in half then it's wind, and if it crinkles up like a dead roach then it's lightning."

Naruto grinned like a kid in a candy store as he caught the explanation, "So you're earth…"

Akiza nodded, "Yeah, I'm not too proficient at it, I haven't even delved into the manipulation training that much, I just tested for it so I knew which jutsu to focus on."

Naruto channeled chakra into his own paper and watched as it split into two halves, "So I'm wind. Is that good?"

Jiraiya took over from this point, "It just means that you'll have an easier time learning and using some jutsu more than others. Akiza here is strong in doton jutsu and is lacking when it comes to lightning. In your case you'll kick ass at fuuton jutsu and you'll suck at katon jutsu."

Naruto waved it off, "So the Uchiha kid has a little advantage over me does he..." Naruto grinned darkly causing Akiza and Jiraiya to subconsciously take a step away from him.

Eyeing him warily Jiraiya continued, "Alright then… Well I have a bunch of jutsu scrolls from all elements because I didn't know what you'd be good at. I'll give you both some to work on and help you along. Now what exactly do you both do in battle? I need to know what kind of jutsu you know and what kind of ninja you think you are."

Akiza thought for a moment, "Well I'm more of a front-line fighter than anything. I try using my naginata to overwhelm my enemies and have jutsu bolster my speed and strength to go along with that, I like working on combinations and attacks with it. From the beating Fullmetal gave me the first time we fought I know that I suck at taijutsu, and I know a few ninjutsu in addition to the academy basics like Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Dragon Jutsu), Tsuchi Bunshin no Jutsu (Mud Clone Jutsu), and Doton: Doryuu Taiga (Earth Release: Great Mud River). My favorite jutsu though is Iwa no Yoroi (Stone Armor). That one makes me basically impervious to damage and makes me ridiculously strong, it even absorbs the minerals from the area around it to strengthen it, but it sucks to use because it wipes me out."

Naruto cut in, "And it makes you sink like a rock…"

Akiza growled at Naruto when Jiraiya instructed him to begin, "Okay. I am basically the embodiment of the front-line soldier, so much so that I resigned myself to the role of designated 'human meat shield' on my genin squad. I can take a hell of a beating before I drop-."

"I noticed…" Akiza dryly stated.

Naruto continued on, ignoring her, "And my speed and strength are way more than they used to be."

Jiraiya cut in, rubbing his face, "I noticed…" He grumbled.

Naruto smirked, "As far as techniques, I have my alchemy that you all can't help with so I'll move on. I have Akuma-ken (Devil Fist) taijutsu that Big Boss taught me, it requires me to close the distance to keep my opponents from creating space to generate power strikes and from there I use curving shots, elbow strikes, knee strikes, headbutts, close-range throws and sweeps, and joint locks and chokes to batter opponents to a bloody pulp. I also have my formation combinations. As far as weapons, other than kunai, shuriken, and the stuff that I transmute I turn my arm into a hacking weapon and go Jason Voorhees on their faces"

He looked down in thought, "I have the academy basics, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu), Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough), Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu), Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu) to summon toads, and Rasengan." 'I have Onijutsu: Kitsune Hakkaten (Demon Technique: Fox Flash) but I'll tell ero-sennin how it works in private. Good thing Akiza forgot about it…'

Jiraiya waited for the kids to finish explaining their skills before smiling again, "Well gaki, you don't suck nearly as much as I thought you would. Looks like we have quite the springboard for you, and you look like you're getting big enough for me to spar with quite easily, that's great."

Naruto grumbled at Jiraiya as he ruffled his hair. Jiraiya turned over to Akiza, "I'm not very good at teaching girls taijutsu. If you want to learn that then see if the brat can help you. However I do have a special doton jutsu that you won't find in those scrolls. If you're good and learn all I have for you I'll teach you that among other things."

Naruto entered into the conversation, "You going to teach her Rasengan ero-sennin?"

Jiraiya began laughing, "No, but that's hilarious kid! Imagine if old Onoki caught wind of her using that move." He shook his head humorously.

Akiza felt better than she had in quite a while and had some sprit in her step now, "So… Jiraiya-… sensei?" Jiraiya smiled at her when she called him that, "Where are we going now?"

Jiraiya pulled out a kunai and clanged it off of Naruto's auto-mail, "Hey! Watch the auto-mail you bastard!"

Jiraiya put his kunai up, "This brat is too much less of a brat to go on without adjusting that arm of his for size. So we're going to Resembool to get him fixed up. While this kid is down and armless I'll start Akiza on her training."

Naruto growled, "Why is she starting first?"

Akiza shoved him out of the way, "Shut up Fullmetal, you beat my ass twice already, I need to catch up."

Jiraiya sweat-dropped, "That's not really why, but hey, whatever works for you I guess. Besides Naruto, you can work on your alchemy in the meantime, and I also have something special I want you to look into to see if you want me to teach you it."

Naruto was confused until Jiraiya threw him a book, **Fuuinjutsu Theory For Beginners**. Naruto looked up at the elder man, "Fuuinjutsu?"

Jiraiya grinned, "So how much do you know about the sealing arts kid?"

(Omake – Letters From Konoha 2)

_Dear runt. _

_It's me Jushiro, but you probably already figured that out right? _

_Dude you're famous! You're in the bingo book as an A-class, engage with extreme caution threat! Iwagakure has a 3 milliion ryo bounty on you. What the fuck did you do? Dumbass… Saving countries and pissing people off. You know this is going to fall on my head somehow right? Little punk… Where's my bingo book listing… I taught you everything you know… unfair._

_Well enough about you, let's talk about ME! After about two weeks of horrifying horror, Haku-chan came and rescued me from the horrible violence of Zabuza's testicle cleaving rage and I learned a valuable lesson. Keep your anti-pregnancy stuff in a secure, hard to find place if you value your sackie, not that your spaz-ass will ever know anything about that, AHAHA AHAHA HA!_

_Anyway after the entire situation of being on the run with Gai and his creepily charismatic mini-me (How do I get off of Kakashi's shit-list by the way? That one-eyed glare starts to get to you after a while.) I need some good-ol' fashioned R & R, most preferably in the form of some coitus with Haku-chan, again nothing that you'll probably ever know about, sucks for you._

_Now where did I put my pack of rubbers, EXPLODE FOR THE POWER OF CONTRACEPTIVES!_

… _I didn't just write that…_

_Fuck… It was in pen… I think I yelled that out loud too… Like I said… _very charismatic_._

_Anyway stay alive and get back here so I can pick on you again, I need someone I can legally bully. Oh shit, gotta go. Apparently I did yell that out loud and the brow-less father of the year was asleep next door. _

_Sincerely, "The Armory Alchemist" Jushiro Moyomoto_

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**I'm like clockwork with these chapters, random-ass clockwork… There will be quite a few time skips, but not so much that you don't know what's going on. I have quite an awesome idea for the way his training will go. A training chapter or two and I'll write some more kick-ass material.**

**I'm feeling lazy so I'll just leave it on that note. I'm now in the process of waiting for the means to get Red Dead Redemption, and the wait is a bitch.**

**Kenchi out. **


	45. The Reason For The Season

Review Shoutouts

**Anime Insaniac: My bad on the name. I probably said Insomniac because I wrote it at like 3 am. I'll get to all of that stuff soon, Sasuke hasn't avoided Madara's hooks yet, an immortal can wait a long time to make his move.**

**hayate23: Thanks for the review, I love when my story gets long ones like that. Hope you keep reading my stuff.**

**acepro Evolution: Dude you know I can't give you plot stuff like that. I can only say that the stuff that I plan to do should be pretty awesome in the near future.**

**cloudfightback: Thanks. I'm glad you think my stuff is good. And I intend to keep this up as long as I have brain cells that can help produce stuff to write.**

**: Well I didn't think much about him killing Yagura, seeing as how someone did it in canon and Akatsuki still got it anyway. My thinking was that seeing as how the Biju can't die it would take time for them to reform after something like that happened.**

**KantonKageX: Kabuto and Zetsu piss me off. I already ranted on Kabuto, Zetsu just makes me mad because he has NEVER FOUGHT ANYONE. I don't know what he does, is he tough or is he a bitch? I don't know.**

**JetSaiga: Yes, I'm just awesome to come up with stuff like that.**

**someone: I am not as good at random humor as Third Fang. That story is fucking awesome, I bask in its awesomeness regularly. I can't touch it, so I won't even try, I have my purpose and he has his.**

**Queenwitch: I don't think I made her over-abusive though. She doesn't just wail on him like Sakura did/does. And until a short while ago she was trying to kill him and he was kicking her ass, you can't just turn the switch off like that, they mess with each other because while they don't hate each other or necessarily want to hurt each other, they did engage one another in full-scale fights to the death a short while ago.**

**kitsune-demon16: Do not mention Red Dead Redemption to me again until I procure it on Friday when my ass gets paid. This has been the slowest 2 weeks eva, and I stopped smoking weed.**

**Rokuro Yagami: I try to make my chapter titles hilarious, they haven't been lately, but that's because I misplaced my muse for titles... I also misplaced my AR-17... I hope those two aren't together because my title muse is related to my imagination, and that is one messed up family.**

**Zeromaru Chaos Mode: About Akiza, dude I don't blame you for a second. I had to train myself to ignore the 5d's girl when I was writing her at first in the earlier chapters. She _is_ fine...**

**irae2007: Tell me how that works out for you. I don't have the balls to do something like that... sober. But if I was drunk enough to shout EXPLODE FOR THE POWER OF CONTRACEPTIVES out loud in front of people then I'd probably be too drunk to remember the results anyway.**

**Jyuubi6: Hilarious. No dude I didn't have them both out, I just hustled and finished writing the next chapter quickly after I posted the other one. Note that my personal definition of 'hustle' is exponentially faster than most other authors.**

**Raidentensho: Meh, a man can speculate. So speculate away, even if you got something right I'd still give you the pleasure of keeping it in to read. If you can guess something that I'm going to do then I'm not swerving you hard enough.**

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Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Just to let everyone know for sure, I DON'T OWN THEM! I do not… It's so sad…

**Chapter 45: The Reason For The Season**

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(Four Days Later – Resembool)

Naruto smiled as the familiar sight of the house on the top of the hills on the plains came into sight. Amid Jiraiya's cry of surprise Naruto ran up to the front door and began banging on it, awaiting a response. His smile became a full-blown grin as he heard the footsteps from inside.

"Alright, alright. Just hold on, I'll be there in a second."

The door opened to reveal Winry, her irritable scowl replaced by excitement as she noticed that it was Naruto on her doorstep. She squealed as she pulled the younger boy into a hug, "Naruto-kun it's so good to see you again. What are you doing back here so soon?"

Naruto smirked as he stood straight up and waited for Winry to get the picture. She tilted her eyebrow until she realized that Naruto was almost eye-to-eye with her. She gaped at Naruto's growth, "Naruto-kun… You're so much bigger now. Just a few months ago you were such a little thing."

Naruto rubbed his nose, "Well I told you I wasn't going to stay short forever. And with this new size difference I need my auto-mail adjusted for me. Can you help?"

Winry smirked at him, "Can you pay?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Well I can't, but the guy coming up the road can."

Winry looked to see Jiraiya and another person in tow. She simply shrugged at Jiraiya. He looked strange, but she'd reserve judgment. It was the other person that affected her. Even though it was dark when she saw her, Winry remembered her as the girl that had attacked Naruto.

Winry raised a shaky finger as she pointed out at the road. Naruto followed her aim and palmed his forehead, 'Duh… Winry-chan saw me fight Akiza the first time.' Naruto moved to calm Winry down, "Winry-chan, just calm down. She isn't here to kill me, or hurt anyone anymore, everything is alright okay?"

Naruto placed his hands on her shoulders as she began to settle her breathing, which wasn't nearly as frantic by the time the rest of Naruto's group reached the door. Naruto took the time to introduce his companions, "Okay Winry-chan, the big guy with the white hair and lines on his face is Jiraiya."

Jiraiya was about to break into his full-on introduction until Naruto spoke again, "But you can just call him ero-sennin. I do."

Jiraiya hit Naruto in the back of the head, "You need to stop with that crap brat."

Naruto grumbled and turned his attention back to Winry, "And this Winry-chan is Akiza Tamagawa. You've met I'm sure…" Naruto pointed at Akiza who was smiling sheepishly at her. Apparently she remembered seeing Winry during the first fight also.

Seeing Winry's remaining apprehension, Naruto nudged Akiza forward. Akiza chuckled nervously and sighed, "I'm sorry I scared you all those months ago. I was after Fullmetal. It was just a mission, nothing personal. He's safe from me now though, which means you are too."

Naruto cut in, "She's telling the truth Winry-chan. Just trust me okay. If she still wanted to hurt me she would have had almost a month to do it by now."

She gave Akiza a hard stare for a moment before waving her hand in a nonchalant manner, "Ugh… fine. If he says it's okay then I guess it is. He was the one being attacked after all." She gave Naruto a withering glare, "You'd better be sure about this. If this ends up in some kind of massive property damage then I swear to-."

Naruto backed up heatedly, "I'm not going blow anything up! Honest!"

Jiraiya patted Naruto on the back, "Don't make a promise you can't keep gaki…"

Winry quickly ushered them all inside, seeing as how the pleasantries were all made by this time.

XxX

"Ow! Winry-chan why?"

Naruto cradled his head after Winry had gotten through checking up on the maintenece on his arm. The girl in question was holding a wrench in a threatening manner, "Why? I've got a question for you? Why is your arm missing pieces of its metal inside? What do you keep doing to it?"

Naruto put his arms up in a flimsy defense, "I-It was a technique. Lives were at stake, namely mine. I knew you could fix it so I went ahead and did it. I didn't use anything vital."

This did not seem to placate her, "Don't use it. It isn't a hunk of metal. This is a delicate piece of equipment."

Naruto rubbed the bump on his head, "Well I can replace the metal if you gave me some scrap to carry with me. It might even help with overall maintenance."

Winry thought about it and relented, "Fine, you'll get it later…" She walked away grumbling about stupid ninja that never listen.

She returned with Pinako in tow and Naruto called for Jiraiya and Akiza to enter. Jiraiya raised an eyebrow as he saw the women position themselves around his right arm, "What's up gaki? You need something?"

Naruto shook his head 'no' before breaking out into a grin, "You guys want to see something cool?" When Akiza and Jiraiya looked at him in confusion, Naruto signaled that he was ready.

In a matter of seconds and a shout of pain his auto-mail had been disconnected from his shoulder. Jiraiya spoke up, "Well that was gross…"

Akiza walked over and felt the empty space where his arm used to be, "Isn't it sore or something? Kami, that looked painful…"

Naruto chuckled as he waved her off, "It's fine. I'm used to it actually. It was nothing compared actually getting the surgery to connect the coupling in the first place." Naruto unconsciously shivered, "If I ever have to do that again I think I might just walk around with the stump…"

Jiraiya laughed, "It couldn't possibly be that bad…" Upon noticing all of the looks of those that experienced it in some way, he sweat-dropped, "Right?"

Naruto gave him a dry look, "Sure ero-sennin, just keep on thinking that." He looked at Akiza, "If you want to know why I have such a high threshold for pain, then this is probably the most glaring reason. Dislocating your limb on a regular basis kind of does that for you."

Naruto then looked over to Winry and Pinako, "So how long? Note that I am in no way in any kind of rush whatsoever."

Pinako looked over to Winry, "If it's no rush then I suppose four day?"

Naruto shrugged, "Four days it is then. I guess I'll just work on my new idea for my alchemy and start digging into that book on fuinjutsu."

Jiraiya lifted his hand, "Is there some kind of prosthetic he can use or something so that he can train?" Pinako opened her mouth until…

"No." Everyone looked at Naruto, "Hell no. I already said I'm not wearing that piece of crap. Even if I did, I'd break it just going through my katas and working on my punches, it wouldn't last an hour."

Jiraiya rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Kid… How are you going to train with one arm?"

Naruto glared at him, "I already told you how… I don't need to fight to train. As long as I don't let my muscles get used to doing nothing, and they won't, I'll be ready to jump right back into the real physical stuff when I get my arm back. Work with Akiza, you said you were going to anyway."

Akiza's eyes lit up at the prospect of being trained by Jiraiya, 'If I was back in Iwa would they kill me out of anger for me being trained by Jiraiya-sensei or kill me out of jealousy for being trained by Jiraiya-sensei?'

Jiraiya grinned, "Well that's settled… Now Miss Pinako! I have a proposition for you. If we could speak for a moment?"

Pinako gestured towards another room, "Sure, why not?"

Winry sat down after the adults left the room, "So, when are you going back to Konoha by the way."

Akiza shook her head, "I'm never stepping foot in that place. They'll kill me on sight."

Naruto sighed, "No they won't. How would they know that you're from Iwa? You lost your hitae-ate during our fight remember? And I don't think they have anything like that for Iwa ninja anyway. Besides, we aren't going back to Konoha anytime soon anyway."

Winry looked confused, "How long is 'anytime soon'?"

Naruto laughed, "Two years. I'm on a training trip with ero-sennin and Akiza's tagging along for now, there was some unpleasantness and she can't go back to Iwa." Naruto then grumbled under his breath, "Without killing me…"

Jiraiya was led back into the main room by Pinako, "Well Winry it looks like we'll be having guests for a while."

Jiraiya walked over to Naruto and Akiza, "Alright kids, we'll be staying here for now while you two train. I worked out a little arrangement for us to be able to stay here until I decide it's time to move on."

Naruto looked at Pinako who had a grin on her face, "Old Lady Pinako, how much did he say he was going to pay you for this?"

All eyes fell on Pinako, "Oh… it isn't that much." A sly smirk came on her face as she pulled out a check.

All of the kids' eyes popped wide open as they looked at the amount, "T-That's a lot of zeroes!"

XxX

After dinner Winry had been instructed to show them the room they could use while they stayed there. Upon heading upstairs to the room Naruto realized something, "Uh, you guys never bought another bed did you?"

Winry stopped short of opening the door when she turned apologetically, "Um, no… Sorry Naruto-kun." Naruto sighed as he followed her into the room.

Turning back to Akiza to say he'd sleep on the floor he noticed that she had walked past him to the bed and started placing her things on the side she had chosen, "This will be fine I guess. I mean, we shared a smaller bed back at that hotel when we were hurt, this one is way more spacious."

Naruto opened his mouth and Akiza pointed back at him, "You're not sleeping on the floor." Her tone made Naruto gulp and nod quickly as she left no room for any argument.

Naruto went to drop his things on his side of the bed when he thought of something, "Where's ero-sennin going to sleep?"

Jiraiya chose this moment to walk into the room, "I'm taking the couch downstairs. It's no problem for me. You two are going to need a real bed for as hard as I'll be planning to work you when you get your arm back."

Winry followed Jiraiya out of the room, but he soon appeared back in the doorway, "Sweet dreams you two. Gaki, don't do anything I wouldn't do…" Jiraiya's cackling could be heard all the way down the hall.

Naruto palmed his forehead as Akiza left to head to the bathroom for the night, "What does that mean Fullmetal?"

Naruto just waved it off, "Just… just go… I think that it's better you didn't know right now. You might try to kill him… or me."

Akiza just made an odd face as she left the room, "Okay, whatever… Geez you guys are weird."

XxX

(7 Weeks Later)

Time had passed with Jiraiya getting Akiza started on her training on the earth element and Naruto doing a whole lot of reading and sleeping for the first week, mostly reading, but there was still a hell of a lot of sleeping.

The first thing Jiraiya had Akiza do was to attempt to crush a leaf with just her chakra, while this alone would not have been as strenuous as other forms of training, Jiraiya also had her naturally working on increasing her strength to go along with her elemental affiliation. Akiza had gone to Naruto bragging about how it would only be a matter of time before she was stronger than him. Naruto had countered by saying that he had more force in his left arm then in her entire body. Everybody in the house got a few chuckles off of seeing a one-armed boy sitting down hold back a girl pushing with all her might with only one-arm… His non-dominant, non-mechanical arm.

Jiraiya calmed Akiza down by saying that no matter what she did she might never gain as much raw strength as Naruto has. When they asked him what he did to get so strong Naruto simply said, "Big Boss's jounin sensei was a monster…" He had then gone through the explanation of how Jushiro's genin team helped to train him when he was an academy student.

Naruto spent the four days that he couldn't seriously train reading up on fuinjutsu. He found that he took quite well to the art of sealing, seeing as how he was already used to advanced theories and spacial and time knowledge and of physical composition it was mostly a matter of shifting base theories and applying them elsewhere for this.

At the end of the week he had told Jiraiya that he wanted to learn more about fuinjutsu, seeing as how he had an almost equally imaginative base in alchemy anyway. Speaking of alchemy, Naruto had made a new breakthrough a month into their stay in Resembool, one with… explosive results.

(Flashback – 3 Weeks ago)

_Naruto had gathered everyone outside to see something. From the excited look on his face they were all at least intrigued by what could get him so excited. Naruto stood facing the entire group of people with a blinding smile that could give Gai or Lee a run for their money._

_Jiraiya broke up his creepy smile, "Alright gaki, you said you had something to show us. Well come on already, what do you have?"_

_Naruto pulled out an unspectacular looking white glove and placed it on his left hand. Everyone sweat-dropped as he pulled it on tight. Akiza shook her head, "Fullmetal why are you putting on that flimsy white glove?"_

_Naruto's grin fell, "Can someone give me a clone or some kind of target here?"_

_Akiza sighed and made him a Tsuchi Bunshin to use as a target. Naruto and the clone walked what he had figured to be a safe distance out before turning back to the crowd with a smirk. Lifting his gloved hand out he pointed it at the bunshin and let out an audible snap. The next second the bunshin had exploded into flames, sending fragments of rock and mud all over the place._

_Naruto turned around and let out an even more massive grin at the looks of astonishment on their faces, "So come on… What do you got to say about that?"_

(End Flashback)

The explosion was a result of Naruto developing a glove made with an ignitable cloth that created sparks when he rubbed his fingers together. Naruto then took to manipulating the oxygen densities in his target area with his alchemy in order to create flames and fully manipulate them. Naruto claimed he had been working on this since he had become a genin, seeing as how no one ever got to teaching him any katon jutsu and having been forced to watch Sasuke spamming flames left and right, and had been inspired to complete it after learning that his elemental affinity would have left him at a natural disadvantage towards learning them anyway.

He couldn't wear them throughout entire fights seeing as the material for the gloves were delicate and that he could easily rip them in just an overly intense taijutsu spar. When others felt them they saw that they were rather thin.

Everyone noticed the odd circle on the back and asked about it, having never seen him use a transmutation circle before. Naruto explained that the circles were the basis of executing alchemy and that he hadn't had to use them in a while, but put it on the glove since clapping to generate a transmutation and then snapping his fingers would have been redundant.

Akiza sat on the porch of the house with her chin in her hands while watching Naruto spam flames just for the hell of it, "That's just great Fullmetal. As if you weren't strong enough, now you can make fire from thin air. I can barely crush a damn leaf and you can snap your fingers and set me on fire."

Naruto looked at her and grinned, "Sometimes you've got to work smarter, not harder. And I don't know what you're on about, bitching about your element, the next thing I have to do is split a rock in half with my chakra, all you have to do is crumble it."

Naruto took off his glove and picked up the rock Jiraiya gave him. After focusing on it for about a minute a small slash appeared on the rock. Naruto grumbled and held it up to Akiza, "See… This is not going to cut it… literally."

Akiza sighed, "Why did you have to get the cool, rare element? I just got boring old earth."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Wow, I don't know, maybe because you're from THE VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE ROCKS! The majority of you guys in Tsuchi no Kuni are earth types apparently."

Akiza gave him a half-glare, "And what about you with your wind? You should have fire if that's your logic. You live in Hi no Kuni, Mr. Land-of-Fire…"

Naruto shrugged, "I'm just awesome like that I guess."

Akiza stood up and stretched herself out, "So where's Jiraiya-sensei anyway? He's been gone for a day or two."

Naruto stood with her, trying to not notice her vest rise up when she stretched back, "Ero-sennin said he was going off to meet with some people near Kusagakure. That's quite a ways away and knowing him he'll get caught up in something on the way back, so don't expect to see him around for a while."

"I wonder how long he'll be gone?" Akiza thought for a moment, "Though he did leave us enough stuff to keep us occupied for a while."

Naruto grumbled, "Screw that, if he leaves me here for another six months I'm going to kick his ass when he drags himself back here… Good company or not."

Akiza giggled at the scowl on his face as she headed inside the house, "You're not too bad yourself Fullmetal. Better than being alone, that's for sure."

Naruto watched her leave and then turned his attention back to his training, "Goddamn rock! Split you bastard, split!"

XxX

(Three Months Later)

Jiraiya had been gone for a long time, long enough that Naruto had to summon a few toads to even find out whether or not he was still alive. During this time he and Akiza had still not completed the next step of their elemental training, but they were in no real rush.

Instead of solely focusing on what Naruto had called 'the boring-ass rock thing' he and Akiza had begun to develop teamwork and combinations at her behest. Her reasoning being that they were living together and training together so why not learn how to fight together?

They didn't work as a very conventional team, as they had learned through session after session of slaughtering hordes of Kage Bunshin to develop their style. They were both front-line fighters so they developed a style that had them weaving in and out of each other's way and covering one another's blind spots.

Due to the fact that they practiced by beating the crap out of tons of bunshin their style was roughly Akiza trying to root herself down, cutting down enemies with swings of her halberd while Naruto jumped around her attacks, defending her and taking out enemies beyond the basic range of her reach before jumping back into her guard and repeating the process until everything else was dead.

This worked on multiple enemies. Not so much when it was two-on-one as they aptly recognized, but at that point they had enough confidence in their solo abilities that a one-on-one fight wasn't much of a disadvantage.

Around this time Naruto and Akiza started seeing each other, not as former adversaries put together out of necessity, but as actual partners. Being with someone for almost every waking moment for over nine months will do that to you, sleeping in the same bed doesn't really hurt either on that front.

Akiza learned that Naruto's ultimate dream was to be Hokage, so that he could get the respect of his village, and to make sure that no one in the village had to live like he had to live, constantly watching their back lest they lose a limb, ever again.

Naruto had pressed her into telling him what her dream for the future was, but was slightly disheartened when he learned that she didn't have a dream. She didn't really have an ambition or an underlying reason to want to be a ninja. She did it because it was either be a ninja, or fade out into the streets.

Naruto, Akiza, Winry, and Pinako were seated around the dinner table after just finishing a meal. Winry had finally gotten over the battle that Akiza and Naruto had over a year ago and was taking an effort to get to know something about the girl. When the question had come up about her dream the answer was somewhat saddening.

Naruto frowned as he looked at Akiza, "So being a ninja wasn't really a dream of yours or anything? You didn't have any goals that being a ninja could help with?"

Akiza shook her head, "No. Other than keeping me off of the streets and giving me a way to make a living there wasn't really any reason for me to do it. I graduated at 10 instead of 12 like you Fullmetal. I was just sick of being overlooked."

Akiza looked at everyone else and sighed, "Being something other than a ninja in Iwa is damn difficult for orphans. The reason so many Iwa ninja hate Konoha is because they were orphans, so many of their parents were killed during the Third Great Ninja War, it left a surplus of kids with nothing. Most merchants are family monopolized, all the jobs and everything run in the family, it's hard for people like me to do anything but be a ninja."

Pinako nodded sagely, "An entire generation of war orphans… with a grievance against an entire village. That doesn't sound too good for the future."

Winry nodded in agreement, "It sounds kinds of scary… Like it's all just one big powder keg waiting for a spark." She shivered visibly, "You ninja live scary lives."

Akiza rested her head on her arms on the table, "Yeah it can be. We just tend to ignore that kind of stuff until it's time to start paying attention."

Winry wrinkled her nose, "That doesn't sound too safe, or smart, or even mildly logical."

Naruto shrugged, "Blame politics. You'd be surprised how close the entire continent comes to coming to blows on a regular basis. Just another thing I'm going to have to deal with as Hokage."

XxX

(One Month Later)

Naruto had spent the entire day training by himself. It wasn't that he had a chip on his shoulder or anything, he wasn't mad today. It was that he couldn't find anyone long enough to actually talk to them. Whenever he saw Winry or Pinako they would just swiftly end whatever conversation he tried with them and up and vanish.

Jiraiya still hadn't come back from Kusa yet, and it was starting to piss Naruto off. Being gone for almost another six months was making him antsy, he knew from when he summoned Gamakichi and the others to work with them that Jiraiya was fine, but they weren't telling him anymore on his location or condition than that, opting to leave the blonde demon container in the dark for the time being.

Akiza, he really couldn't explain why she was so hard to find. He hadn't seen her since the sun had come up that morning, as if she had disappeared after he exited the bathroom that day. This was somewhat disconcerting to him, seeing as how he had seen her every day for almost a year and now she was gone.

He took that day's training a decent distance away from the house so that he could work on a few more destructive techniques that he rarely got a chance to practice.

Ambling home slowly as the sun began to fall he hopped up to the front step he headed on indoors to end his day.

Naruto entered the house and noticed that no lights were on, "Ugh, I've been gone all day and nobody is still here?"

He yawned and lazily slinked into the kitchen for a drink.

"SURPRISE!"

"AAHH!" Naruto transmuted his arm-blade and stood in a ready stance looking around rapidly, "Who wants some?"

Laughter that broke out around the room calmed him down as Winry walked him over to the table in the dining room, "Happy birthday Naruto-kun!"

Naruto sat down dumbfounded, "Birthday? Wha-?" Naruto looked around confused, "What is today's date?"

Pinako calmly walked over with a small smile on her face, "It's October 10th kid. You know? Your birthday?"

Naruto looked befuddled as a cake was placed in front of him. Looking up he saw Akiza smiling at him, "Cheer up Fullmetal, it's your birthday alright?"

"Seriously brat, did you really think no one else knew about your birthday?" Jiraiya sauntered into the room with a grin on his face.

Naruto growled, "Ero-sennin? Where the hell have you been for so long?"

Jiraiya got a serious look on his face, "I went to get some information on Akatsuki kid." When he saw Naruto's face he backtracked, "It's not anything that's too vital right now, I'll tell you later."

Naruto nodded just as gifts were shoved in his face, "In the meantime enjoy yourself brat! You're fourteen now!"

XxX

(Four Months Later)

Elemental training was going along for the kids at a regular pace. Both Akiza and Naruto had reached the point where they could utilize the third step of mastering their elements. Naruto had hit a brick wall however as his step was to split a waterfall with his wind chakra. Akiza could work on hers however, she simply had to split the earth, she could do that anywhere.

So Naruto began to study fuinjutsu more fervently than before, and had even shocked Jiraiya with a few of his more cavalier ideas. He wasn't anywhere near good enough to put them into practice, but the ideas he was having got Jiraiya somewhat excited. He had taken to making his own exploding tags, flash tags, and etcetera, forcing Jiraiya to give him a step up in his studies, which led to Naruto new ideas that he had yet to put into practice.

Naruto's clothes had changed by this time. He had to ditch his other clothes due to him grossly outgrowing them. His new outfit consisted of black shinobi sandals, black pants, and a black long-sleeved shirt. The shirt and pants both had white trim. (Pretty much Ed's outfit from Fullmetal Alchmist through a lot of the series)

Akiza hadn't changed her outfit at all, unless you call the jounin vest she wore showing even more than it did before as a wardrobe change. Her natural strength had increased considerably since her second fight with Naruto, she still paled in comparison of raw strength when it came to Naruto, but her own strength was considerable enough for Jiraiya to comment on it.

Naruto and Jiraiya had found her a style of hand-to-hand combat that mostly consisted of kicks. It was almost the antithesis of Naruto's Akuma-ken in that she had to keep her opponents on her outer range in order for her kicks to get the range of motion to deal damage, but it was effective for her.

Jiraiya had taught her a jutsu of his own creation after she had finished learning the jutsu from her earth scroll. He chose to teach her Doton: Yomi Numa (Earth Release: Swamp of the Underworld, which after all of her elemental training she had little trouble getting down.

Naruto's wind scroll didn't have as many jutsu on it, but he had other methods of fighting that he could work on and master in the meantime.

Jiraiya's favorite form of enjoyment over this period of time took place maybe one or twice a week. It came in the form of beating either Naruto or Akiza down in the dirt, usually in front of the entire small town of Resembool, who eventually started coming to investigate the explosions that took place like clockwork every week at the Rockbell's home.

He never fought them together, having learned that lesson the hard way… in front of everybody. During one of Jiraiya's insatiable needs to showboat he allowed Naruto and Akiza to fight him at the same time. This resulted in him having to dodge and survive for almost an entire hour, not allowing them to hit any finishing blows, but with the intensity of their onslaught he didn't get out unscathed.

After he had subdued them both due to experience and finally getting serious and choosing to put excessive force, excessive force that broke several of Naruto's ribs, and cracked his femur, and had given Akiza a relevant concussion, he elected to stay away from fighting them both at the same time… ever again, it wasn't worth the style points.

He had let Naruto in on the fact that his time in Kiri had thrown a monkey wrench into Akatsuki's plans. Killing Yagura during the rebellion had released the Sanbi back into the world, but it would take time, extra time for it to amass enough power to reform itself physically in this plane of existence. It still ranged around the time for Naruto to finish training, but he found it hilarious that he could mess with Akatsuki in any way.

XxX

(Two Months Later)

"Alright it's time to move out you guys." Jiraiya had told Naruto and Akiza that it was about time for them to move out. They had spent about a year in Resembool and Jiraiya wanted Naruto to get more worldly experience before it was time to return to Konoha.

Naruto and Akiza gave their goodbyes to Winry and Pinako, thanking them for putting up with them and the perpetual risk for property damage for a year, before following Jiraiya down the country road, leaving the village.

Akiza looked over at Naruto, "Hey Fullmetal, how is your seal project going?"

Naruto shook his head in the negative, "You could say it works… I just can't really use it. Not on myself at least, or any person."

Akiza looked confused, "You just said it works, and then you just said it doesn't work. It can't do both, which one is it?"

Naruto chuckled, "I'll just have to show you when we take a decent stop, it;s not really healthy for me to use. Come on, let's go."

Naruto bounded up to Jiraiya, excited to get back on the road again, "So ero-sennin, where are we going next?" Akiza also ran up to him, curious also.

Jiraiya pulled out a map, "We're heading up to Kumogakure next. The Raikage has a nice little proposition that I think is rather interesting. You two might have a good time up there, it's around time for the chunin exams and they're being held there."

Naruto got a grin on his face, "Well that does sound fun. Watching other genin beat the crap out of each other rather than _be_ one of the genin getting the crap beat out of them. I think I like it." Naruto nudged Akiza, "How about you? Sound like fun?"

Akiza rubbed her arm with a smile on her face, "Yeah why not. It's not like I have anywhere else to go right?"

Naruto shook his head, "Alright if you're going to keep hanging out with me you're gonna have to say that you don't stay around with us just because you can. You stay with us because you _love_ our company."

Akiza waved it off, "Whatever Fullmetal, you're just being delusional."

Naruto's eye twitched, "You don't stick around for a year if you don't like the people you're with. Admit it. You like hanging around us."

Akiza put her finger to her mouth in a thinking fashion, "Well Jiraiya-sensei does have some good things to teach me… I mean what ninja wouldn't want to learn from a legendary figure like him?"

Naruto's twitch got worse, "How about me? I'm the reason you're here anyway."

She kept up her clueless façade, "Well… I guess you are good for all of those Kage Bunshin that make good targets, suicidal tendencies or not, good targets are good targets."

Naruto pulled at his hair, "For the last time… my clones are NOT suicidal! …They just lack a healthy respect for the human condition…"

Akiza nodded, "Oh, so they're just sociopathic?"

Naruto growled and sighed, "You know what, sure, let's just go with that." Akiza gave him a victorious look that forced him to run his fingers through his hair, "This girl is going to drive me up the wall… This is going to be a long trip."

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**Next up for your literary consumption. This chapter can be called mostly filler, but I did put out some stuff to work with a little later. No smart remarks to make today. Bye-bye… Read & Review if you dare… Please dare…**

**Kenchi out**


	46. Top of the Mountain

Review Shoutouts

**Neccor: Yeah, I thought Naruto's name for himself was pretty lame too. The Orange Hokage? Really? That's the best they've got for him? I could sit down on the toilet and crap out a better nickname in 5 minutes. That omake idea is awesome too, if you don't then I'll whip something up myself anyway.**

**Anime Insaniac: Yes, I am just pissed that there is no chapter being released this week, I want the story on Kushina as the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, because I really didn't see that coming. Although I still need Sasuke to die nameless in the manga for me to feel complete, I've said it before, he needs to just die, he's an easily manipulated douche and he gets several new powers every four chapters.**

**Rokuro Yagami: When you see what I'm going to do with it later you might just pass out due to the awesomeness of it. I know I was excited as hell when I thought of it. And it won't just end with that. He'll learn how to do more with alchemy in time.**

**irae2007: I was always planning on him learning how to do that, because it's so awesome. You hear a snap and then you spontaneously combust, what isn't kick-ass about that? It would be a crime for me to not use it.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, and I DID NOT INHALE! …Ok maybe just a little bit, but I was good to drive I swear it!

**Chapter 46: Top of the Mountain**

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(Kaminari no Kuni – Estimated two days from Kumogakure)

Akiza stood over Naruto crouched and shaking her head with a grin on her face, "Wow Fullmetal. You've just come up with a fresh, fun new way to give yourself spinal and skull trauma, congratulations." She fake-clapped for him as he lay in a small crater on the ground, "I can honestly see where your mentally deficient Kage Bunshin get their quirks from. 'Copies of the original' indeed."

Naruto slowly pulled himself up to his feet and brushed the dirt off of his body and out of his hair, "Ha, ha, ha. At least I'm trying to come up with cool stuff on my own instead of riding ero-sennin's di-."

Naruto never finished that statement as Akiza pounded him atop his head sending him back into the dirt, smiling down on him with a sweetness that put a chill down his spine, "Please Fullmetal. Go ahead and finish that sentence. I'm begging you."

Naruto once again stood up, spitting chunks of earth on the ground in front of him, "If that was a warning reaction then I don't think I will. But seriously, I know I can make it work, I don't understand why it doesn't. In theory it's flawless, in practice I make massive craters and mash up the fields."

Akiza sighed as they walked along the barren grounds that were beginning to slope upwards, "Well keep trying. If you can somehow get it to work the way you anticipated it to then it would be amazing. It just gives me another reason to hate you for having a wind affinity…" She finished with a grumble.

Naruto smiled at her and patted her on the shoulder, "Aww don't worry, I'm sure we can come up with something for you to use it with after I work out all of the kinks… But it still won't be as cool as when it works for me."

Akiza growled, "You'd better hope I have wind for a second affinity."

Naruto held up his hands in defense as they found their way back to camp, "Don't flip out on me. I didn't give you earth as your affinity. Just deal, like I said, we'll come up with something cool for you too. You're my partner, it's only fair."

Akiza sidled up to him and laid her head on his shoulder, "Aww, Fullmetal you're such a sweetheart! You're always so good to me." She nuzzled her cheek into his neck, "I didn't know you cared about your Akiza-chan like that!"

Naruto chuckled, used to her antics by now, "Like I said last year, as long as you're with me and ero-sennin I'll do whatever I can to help you and make you happy. Now where is that perverted bastard! If he left us here again I'm gonna beat his ass, I mean it this time!" Naruto looked around the vacant campsite for the white-haired sannin, ignoring the blush that appeared on his darker complexioned companion's face as he moved away.

"Shut it gaki, you're about fifteen years too soon to beat my ass." Jiraiya came ambling back into camp and sat down on the ground. He looked at the beaten-up looking Naruto and smirked, "He tried to use the seal again didn't he?"

Akiza's blush turned into a smirk to match as she and Jiraiya began to laugh, "You should have seen it. He hit the ground so hard he broke the rock! I thought he was dead for a good five minutes until he made this weird groaning noise, he sounded like a sheep or something."

Naruto glared at the two ninja rolling on the ground laughing, "Fuck you and everyone in your household." Naruto then walked towards the tent set up for the three of them, "I'll be inside trying to make this bitch of a seal work right. I swear I'm going to get it before we head back to Konoha."

Akiza and Jiraiya stopped laughing as Naruto left. Akiza wiped the tears of humor from her eyes, "Do you think he can really get it that soon?"

Jiraiya sat upright once more and cleared his throat, "Who knows? No matter how long it takes if he can get it to work it'll be something right up there on par with the Yondaime Hokage's Hiraishin no Jutsu (Flying Thunder God Jutsu). And the fact that he might be willing to share it with you…"

Jiraiya took on a hardened look, "That brat has been slaving on that seal for a year and a half, and who knows how long he'll have to keep working? I sincerely hope you don't try anything against him, or else I'll kill you myself."

Akiza's smile faded as she looked at Jiraiya, "I would never turn on him at this point Jiraiya-sensei, he's done more for me than anyone in Iwagakure ever did. I owe him, just trust me, trust me the way Fullmetal does."

Jiraiya nodded, "I guess if you wanted to try something you could have ten times over by now." Jiraiya got a lecherous grin on his face, "Maybe our little tag-along has a soft spot for my apprentice."

Akiza's blush returned full-force, "W-Well, Fullmetal is a really nice guy and everything, but he's just my friend. We're from totally different countries, countries that are supposed to hate one another." She refused to meet his eyes however, "I'm just his partner, he's said so himself. We get along and everything, and I think he likes spending time with me, but we aren't like that."

Jiraiya snickered at her flustered response, "So that's why you willingly shared a bed with him for a year, even when I offered to buy another one? You're lucky I didn't ask with him in earshot." His eyes shone with mirth as he kept up his attack on her, "And you're also lucky that you always woke up and got up before he even began stirring in the mornings when I woke you two up."

Akiza was opening her mouth in defense, but all that was coming out was intelligible babble. Jiraiya kept on cutting her down though, "Oh yeah! You were all over the kid, you had your legs wrapped around his like a snake or something. You always had such a cute, content smile on your face, no matter how hard I had pushed you the day before. I have a question though, is his right arm uncomfortable to be up against at night? I assume it would make summer nights more bearable."

Akiza stood in outrage, but she still couldn't find anything to say, "I. You. Fullme-." She turned on her heel and stormed off, "I'm going to train! I'll be back later tonight!"

The silent mountainside was filled with raucous laughter as Jiraiya got a few chuckles off of the former Iwa kunoichi.

XxX

Later that night Akiza slipped into the tent shared by all three of the traveling shinobi to find that both Naruto and Jiraiya were asleep. Jiraiya was talking in his sleep, seemingly in the midst of an 'inspirational' dream to say the least. She shook her head as she made her way past Naruto who was the buffer between Jiraiya and her. Looking down at the blonde alchemist's area of sleeping she giggled seeing the notes and reference books on seals strewn about his area.

She bit her lip and kneeled down by his side, eventually placing her head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat and allowing his moving chest to calm her. She sighed as she ignored Jiraiya's guffaws in his sleep and let Naruto help her rest, going to hold his right hand in her own.

Akiza looked at Naruto's face and reached out to stroke his whisker marks. As she touched his cheeks she almost giggled at the sight of Naruto smiling contently as she ran her fingers over the marks. She let out a low-toned 'kawaii' when she began to hear him purr somewhat. She moved her face closer to his, close enough to feel his breath on her face, but she refrained from getting closer

She frowned and made her way to her own sleeping bag, "Fullmetal you don't even think of me that way do you? I'm not even an option to you am I? I'm more of a partner, not a friend, not even a comrade." She got underneath the confines of her bag and rolled with her back to Naruto, "When you go back to Konoha I'll go my way and you'll go yours, we'll never see each other again. You won't have to worry about me anymore."

As silence fell over the tent once more Jiraiya looked over to where his young charges lay resting, "That girl really needs a reality check. If she thinks that then she really doesn't know the gaki at all. *sigh* I really hope it won't be up to me to hash this all out…"

XxX

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Kyuubi watched as her container paced about in his head. They had each been bouncing ideas off of the other to find some new way to get his special seal to work. Kyuubi's tails were whipping about as she sat in the grass trying to think, "**How about putting the seal on your back?**"

Naruto shook his head, "No… I tried that, remember? It shot me forward and head-first into the mountainside." Naruto cringed at the thought of the high-speed collision.

Kyuubi giggled at the visual, "**Well that explains why I didn't remember it Mr. Severe Skull Trauma. I was probably too busy fixing the damage to notice how you did it.**" She settled back into her thinking phase.

Naruto stomped on the ground angrily, "Damn it why is this so hard! No matter where I try to put the seal on my body it still doesn't work right! It should though! My calculations, the theory behind it, everything should be absolutely perfect, ero-sennin even said so himself."

Naruto sat down and let Kyuubi wrap her tails around him, "**It's okay Naruto-kun, you'll get it. Do you want to keep working with my chakra tonight?**"

Naruto relaxed in the kitsune overlord's grip, "How many tails can I handle? I haven't gone all out since Kiri."

Kyuubi was silent for a moment, "**You know I'm not sure. I still think four tails is your limit kit.**"

Naruto sighed, though he really didn't care right then, "That's lame… I guess I should keep working with it huh? I know other jinchuuriki can go further than me. Yagura had control over all of his tails, Gaara does too now, and I'm sure they're not the only ones… Akatsuki is still coming for me hard, do you think I'm ready? There are less than six months left before we go home."

Kyuubi held Naruto in a comforting embrace, "**Who knows? We can only get you stronger in the meantime. You've been working as hard as you can, hopefully when they choose to confront you again you'll be ready.**"

Naruto smiled as he shut his eyes in his mindscape, he knew she was right. He had worked his ass off for two years and he still had more time left to get better, when Akatsuki showed themselves again he would slaughter them, he just knew it.

XxX

(Two days later – within Kumogakure no Sato)

The sannin, his apprentice, and their ally from Iwa entered the gates of the mountaintop village. Taking notice of the fact that the majority of the buildings were suspended between the peaks of the mountains and that there was an incredible drop before you could even see the ground Naruto was amazed, "Wow, this place is way more different than Kirigakure… At least there I could see the ground, this is uncomfortable."

Akiza looked around at all of the people taking notice that they were foreigners, "Jiraiya-sensei, how did you even manage to get us in here anyway? It couldn't just be because you wanted us to see the chunin exams here right?"

Naruto's attention was piqued by this fact that he had let slip his mind, "Hey yeah. I didn't think a place like this would be too keen on letting us in. I mean it's not like we're dignitaries or someone important or anything."

Jiraiya flicked Naruto on his forehead, "Watch it with the 'we' gaki. Just because you two are nobodies doesn't mean anything here, you're with me, and I _am_ somebody if you didn't notice."

Naruto scoffed, "What about all of the 'Fullmetal Alchemist' crap I got back in Kiri? People wouldn't shut the hell up about it back there."

Akiza sighed, "That's because you ended the strife in their nation Fullmetal. That kind of thing kind of makes people want to know who you are. We're in a whole different country here."

Naruto shrugged, "Oh ok. So all I have to do is go and do something bad-ass here too and let the accolades roll on in. Where are we going anyway ero-sennin? And when do the finals start? I want to see some other kids beat the crap out of each other."

Jiraiya grunted, "…Stupid kid… Brat we're going to see the Raikage, I was given a message that he had a proposition that I would find interesting. When we get in there you just shut up and let me talk, you have a propensity for sticking your foot in your mouth kid." He winked at Akiza, "I'm trusting our little Iwa princess to keep you in line here."

Akiza blushed, "I'm no princess Jiraiya-sensei."

Naruto snorted, "You never know Akiza-chan… You're an orphan like me, you never know who your parents really are. Who knows who you were supposed to be?" Naruto reeled his monologue in, "Sorry about that. I almost went into unsafe territory there."

Akiza frowned visibly, 'I really wish you would trust me more Fullmetal. But I guess you're just playing it safe after all… I mean I'll be gone soon enough and you don't need me knowing too many of your secrets right?'

Jiraiya nudged her as she started to look down, "None of that. Shape up, we're about to meet the Raikage." The trio came upon the biggest building set into the biggest mountain peak. The guards at the front stepped up to bar their way. Jiraiya chuckled good-naturedly, "Now now fellas, We're here to see the Raikage, he requested an audience with me."

The guards looked at each other, "Who are you?"

Jiraiya had a grin spanning his entire face as he broke into his introduction. Naruto and Akiza had gone to their happy place the second the guards asked who he was and by doing so had avoided the awkward pause following the flamboyant sannin's posturing, the pause that came right before idiots falling all over themselves to remedy the situation. After that they couldn't be herded inside fast enough.

Naruto looked around, it looked similar to how the Hokage Tower in Konoha was run, Akiza came to the same conclusion about it in comparison to the tower in Iwa. Naruto turned to Jiraiya, "So what's the Raikage like ero-sennin?"

Jiraiya shrugged, "How should I know kid? I've never met the guy before, and I don't remember hearing anything about him either, so I guess we'll all find out at the same time then huh?"

They finally reached the massive doors leading to the Raikage's office. One of the escorts knocked on the door leading to a booming 'enter' to be called out. They all entered to find the man himself sitting behind himself waiting patiently.

The man was fully decked out in kage apparel, hat, robes, and all. Naruto could see he was around Jiraiya's age, maybe a little less, he had white slicked back hair and a white mustache and goatee, "Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin. I'm pleased that you could make it."

Jiraiya chuckled as he led his wards closer into the office, "You made a pretty convincing proposal Raikage-sama. I had to see what it was all about, plus my cute little trainees wanted to see the finals of the chunin exam."

The man stood up, towering over Jiraiya, needless to say the kids were stunned. Naruto whispered to Akiza in shock, "Holy crap! This guy is freaking huge! Akiza-chan… Is we gon' die?"

Akiza elbowed Naruto, simultaneously fighting down a blush at the same time due to the newly added suffix to her name, "Fullmetal, let Jiraiya-sensei talk or you might die, now shush!"

The Raikage rose to meet Jiraiya and shake his hand, "I am A, the Yondaime Raikage." He looked behind to the shell-shocked Naruto, "Jiraiya-dono, this must be your apprentice, Naruto Uzumaki, or should I say the 'Fullmetal Alchemist?'"

Naruto pointed at himself dumbly. Jiraiya pulled him forward, "Yes gaki, you. You're the entire reason we're here."

Naruto gulped as he looked up at the imposing figure in front of him, "Ohayo Raikage-sama… Um, what do you need to see me for?"

A looked down at the blonde in the black apparel, "You don't seem to be too full or too metal to me boy."

Akiza stifled a chuckle in the background, "That's what I said when I first met him too."

Naruto rubbed his right arm vacantly, "I'm not called that for no reason Raikage-sama. I can assure you that the name is more than appropriate."

A looked at the boy before a grin broke out onto his face, "Well how about one of your other nicknames then? How about the 'Jinchuuriki Slayer?' Would you call that appropriate?"

Naruto cleared his throat and stood tall, meeting the man's gaze, "Well I only killed one, and I had help with that one, I just beat and incapacitated the other, he's still alive."

A chuckled, "So you think your spot in the Bingo Book is well earned?"

Naruto sighed, "It doesn't matter if it is or not… Iwa marked me down apparently, for quite a bit of money I hear…" Naruto's eyes widened, "Wait, you're not going to capture me and ship me off to them are you?"

A laughed heartily at that, "Of course not boy. I would have hardly invited your sensei here just so I could send his pupil away to be imprisoned or killed."

Jiraiya mumbled under his breath, "More than likely killed if old man Onoki isn't as blind as Konoha is…"

A slapped Naruto on his back roughly making him stumble, "I wish to invite you to show your skills in an exhibition bout of sorts."

Naruto lifted his eyebrow in confusion, "An exhibition bout? Like a fight? You want me to fight someone in front of you?"

A nodded, "In front of me, in front of everyone. I want you to go out during the chunin exam final test in the stadium and fight the opponent of my choosing, to see if Konoha's Fullmetal Alchemist is really as skilled as your bounty would have most believe."

Naruto scratched his head, "Um, okay. So who will I be fighting?"

A laughed, "That's the spirit boy. Send her in!" At that the door opened to reveal a blonde woman with her hair in a braid going down her back, a black Kumo hitae-ate on her head, a tight black shinobi shirt that showed her stomach, wrappings around her arms, gloves on her hands, and dark blue shinobi pants. Naruto watched her stride over to A's side and look at the foreign contingent, "This, Uzumaki-san, is Yugito Nii. I thought about having you fight my little brother Kirabi, but I don't think the stadium could take the damage that you two could potentially deal out, barring you lasting more than five minutes in the first place…" He said the last part under his breath.

He spoke up once again, "So I'm requesting a bout between you and Yugito here. Just so I should warn you 'Jinchuuriki Slayer,' Yugito is the container for the Nibi no Nekomata." Yugito smirked at his reaction.

Naruto's eyes widened, "You want me to fight a jinchuuriki… Really?"

A looked at the boy, "You've already fought two, what is the problem boy?"

Naruto grumbled, "I didn't really _want_ to fight the other two, and it's not really an experience that I'd like to repeat again thank you."

Yugito gave Naruto a cat-like smirk, "What's wrong Uzumaki? I promise I'll try not to kill you."

Naruto huffed, "Yeah, keyword being 'try'. In my personal experience, jinchuuriki have a really hard time holding back. I was almost killed by two of them twice… Yagura and Gaara fight like arch-bastards."

A still tried to goad him into the fight, "You've beaten the Ichibi and the Sanbi, Yugito is the Nibi, you've beaten three-tails in a deathmatch, this will just be an exhibition."

Naruto gave him a dead-pan look, "Have you tried fighting a demonic presence before? Try it and get back to me. And who exactly is going to stop the fight when she starts rampaging on my ass?"

A gave Naruto a glare mixed with killing intent, "Don't you tell me what it's like to fight a demon boy. And if it comes to it I will step in myself, and I have no problems allowing Jiraiya-dono the same if the need arises."

Naruto knew this was simply a test of his balls and he also knew Jiraiya was somehow counting on him taking the fight. He would be damned if he was going to back down just because fighting another jinchuuriki like him would suck and be painful. Naruto locked eyes with Yugito, "You're on, when are the finals?"

A smiled at the pluck the boy was showing, "The exam is in one week. Make your preparations beforehand and make sure you're well rested and ready for combat."

Naruto nodded, "Oh one more thing. We should go on last, after the whole thing is over. I don't know who this Kirabi guy is, but even if I'm not fighting him, there will be some serious property damage going on between me and Miss Yugito here."

Yugito giggled at the younger boy, "He's cute, I like him Raikage-sama." Naruto blushed at the older woman's words while Akiza let off a glare from the background.

Jiraiya patted Naruto on the shoulder, "Well that's settled! Naruto, you and Akiza go and get us a hotel, I'll stay here and hash out the details with Raikage-sama."

Naruto nodded and left with Akiza in tow before he reached the door Yugito spoke again, "Take care Naruto-kun! Make sure you're all ready to go in a week. Just because you're cute doesn't mean I'll be going easy on you!"

Naruto and Akiza left hurriedly after that, shutting the door behind them.

As the younger ninja left Jiraiya turned serious, "I thought that your reason might have ended up being something like this. You're lucky you didn't choose Kirabi for the boy to fight. If you did we would have left immediately."

A moved back behind his desk and retook his seat, "I am well aware of the growing concern of the Akatsuki Jiraiya-dono. Your boy here has already come across them and he has you so you know he's ready. Yugito and Kirabi have next to no information on who the might end up with chasing them down. It may seem strange, but I would like to use this as a litmus test of how good Yugito is."

They both looked over at Yugito who quickly bowed and left the room, leaving the two powerful older ninja alone inside. Jiraiya sighed, "This could end up being bad though. I heard that the Tsuchikage was coming to this exam to see his own genin compete."

A nodded, "That is true. Tell me, what is the Tsuchikage's grievance against Uzumaki-san in the first place? One does not get an engage with caution in the Bingo Book without reason, especially with such a high bounty for one so young."

Jiraiya sat down in front of the desk, sighing as he relaxed into the chair, "I'm sure you've met with Onoki. He's simply a bitter, paranoid old man, and he saw someone from Konoha that was too good to leave alone. I'm sure you've noted Naruto's features."

A nodded once more, "Blonde hair, blue eyes. Iwa isn't fond of those things in the first place, *chuckle* at least not after the last war anyway. The boy does look surprisingly similar to him though. Will your Hokage be attending the finals this year? I would be honored if your teammate Tsunade would grace my presence with you in the same place."

Jiraiya laughed, "No she won't be I'm sorry to say. I told her the brat would be coming here, if she came here she would just be seeking him out the whole time. She's really fond of the kid, and I guess she wants to be surprised about how he looks and acts in a few months when we return home"

A chuckled, "Well the kid certainly has confidence in himself, asking to go on last with Yugito. It will be a great fight to open the exams with."

Jiraiya frowned, "Um, you should probably still make that fight the last one. He wasn't kidding when he said some stuff might get destroyed, the kid has been developing a fighting style that wrecks the landscape."

A sat in place for a moment, "Alright then, if both you and him say it then I guess it would be wise to do so. They fight last on the card. I'm looking forward to it, I want to see this famed 'Jinchuuriki Slayer,' the 'Fullmetal Alchemist' in action."

XxX

Akiza was in a huff as she and Naruto searched the town to find themselves a hotel for the week, "That hussy. How could she come on to you like that Fullmetal? She's supposed to be fighting you in a week."

Naruto had been trying to calm the girl down since leaving the Raikage's office. She had gone stomping off into a random direction, ignoring the fact that neither she nor Naruto really had a good idea, if any at all, of where they were going. At this point in time he was still trying to get her to turn back so they could regain their bearings, "Akiza-chan calm down it's okay."

Akiza turned to face him, "No it isn't Fullmetal, she was probably trying to get in your head for the fight. I don't see how else she could have acted that way with you."

Naruto frowned, "Well I know the metal arm is off-putting and everything, but she couldn't even see it. I'm not that bad looking, am I? To not even be able to warrant flirting like that with a girl, she wasn't even that much older at all…"

Akiza realized that she just subtly insulted Naruto while trying to talk down about Yugito, "I'm sorry Fullmetal. I didn't mean you were ugly or anything like that. She was right, you are kind of cute, it's just, she knew you for a grand total of two minutes and then starts flirting with you, and I've been here for almost a year and a half. The arm isn't that bad at all, I barely even notice that you have it anymore."

Naruto gave her a small smile, "It's okay Akiza-chan." She felt something stir again with the use of the familiar suffix, "I'm sorry I'm not usually so down, I'm just starting to feel the pressure lately. I've been hit with a lot of stuff over the last two years."

Akiza grinned slyly, "You need to take the edge off. So on that note after we find a hotel you're taking me out to do something fun tonight!" Naruto's jaw dropeed as Akiza dragged him back towards the Raikage Tower so they could properly search for a place to stay, "It'll be fun I promise, I'm sure there's something for us to do in this village!"

Naruto was dumbstruck, "You want to go out somewhere with me? Really?"

Akiza gave him an inquisitive look, "Why not? We spent tons of time with each other all of the time in Resembool. Would it really be that awkward for us? We know each other really well."

Naruto defended, "T-That was different! There was never anything to do in Resembool except either train, sleep, or throw stuff at the trains at the station and break stuff."

Akiza smiled at him, "Yep exactly, in almost two years we've never done anything with each other all alone, it was always training or fighting, the sleeping on you outdoors was nice, but throwing stuff at a moving train is hardly a date. Come on Fullmetal, you got used to me sleeping in your bed and on your chest outside and you've never even taken me out anywhere before."

Naruto babbled, "A Date? B-But I've never been on a real date before!"

Akiza stopped pulling him and smiled warmly at him, "I trust you. I know you'll make sure we have lots of fun tonight." The Iwa girl tried to calm him down and stood on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, but it just made him blush out in the middle of the road. Akiza giggled at his face and turned to run off, "Bye bye Fullmetal! I'll see you tonight okay? Just calm down alright!"

Naruto simply watched her run off into the town before he regained his mental awareness, "Hey wait! I thought you didn't know where you were going! Akiza-chan!"

The scene was being watched through a telescope in the distance by a white-haired man, "Maybe you have more of a grip then I thought you had girl… Treat the kid right."

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**I know I've been gone but I had a need to start another story recently, and it's turning out good too. But nevertheless, I'm back fully reloaded and ready to go. We're nearing the end of the little training trip. I'll swing them back around towards Konoha soon where he'll begin engaging Akatsuki and I have some kick-ass ideas for fights. I'm not sure who will be fighting who, but the pace will pick up once more after the return.**

**I don't want to get hopes up in case I fail epically later on, but I think I have some ruling plans for the storyline. I will refrain from saying more seeing as how I'm still working some stuff out, just wanting to let you all know.**

**Time for me to get ready for work today. Read, review, and get a job so you can be as miserable as me… Retail sucks… It's only for the summer, only for the summer.**

**Kenchi out.**


	47. Head in the Clouds

Review Shoutouts

***None this time on account that I'm too fucking lazy to publicly reply this time… It's been a long week yo.***

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Have you ever been dropkicked through drywall? Well if you haven't and you want to keep it that way I suggest you keep this fact to yourself, wakari mashi ta?

**Chapter 47: Head in the Clouds**

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Shuffling through the streets of Kumogakure with his hands in his pockets, Naruto tried finding his way to where his partner had set them up to stay at for the week. Being utterly lost has benefits however, as Naruto had time to think on things with Akiza.

She wanted to date him? How didn't he see this coming before today? He had to admit to himself that in the one-plus year they had been traveling with one another she had become a rather pleasant companion once they got past the 'I-tried-to-kill-you-not-too-long-ago' phase that they started with. Naruto got a good person to train and spar with, likewise for Akiza, and Akiza got a seemingly infinite mass of living targets to practice on. Yep… a great working relationship.

She still refused to call him by his name, opting to call him 'Fullmetal' instead, but unlike when they first met when she would say it in a condescending, mocking fashion, or spit it out in anger, it became more like her nickname for him and he responded to it accordingly. Naruto also stopped provoking her by calling her 'crazy rock bitch' as he was prone to do in their earlier days, it turns out that girls don't really like being called crazy or being called bitches, go figure!

Anyway, the point she raised about the absurd amount of time they spent together anyway was a point he couldn't refute. They basically _had_ spent pretty much every waking moment with each other for over a year since meeting again in Cha no Kuni. The rough daily schedule that they followed in Resembool was as follows: Wake up, wash up, eat, train, eat, provoke the other into a violent response, train, look for something to do in that town, eat, bathe, and sleep… together. In all of that time they hadn't really gone out to do anything that could count as a date, mostly because there really wasn't a damn thing to do in Resembool, but this raised another point as well.

Why not? He didn't really have a reason to not try and go out with her. The whole former-assassin thing didn't bother him at all. Hell his brother's girlfriend and her adopted dad tried to kill them both and then ended up living right next door to him, and he was pretty damn close to them so why not date Akiza? She was the only girl his age that he had even talked to for almost two years at this point and they were close, very close.

His mind flipped to Konoha. How would he get her to stay there if this worked out? He scoffed to himself at his own block-headedness, the same damn way he got Zabuza and Haku to stay when they came with him. He was sure he had enough stroke with Tsunade to get her to let Akiza stay if that was what she wanted.

But taking her home with him… What could that bring up? What if they didn't wind up together? Then he'd have taken her from her home and utterly blacklisted her from returning if she was recruited to be a Konoha ninja for nothing in the end. What about the people? She was an Iwa ninja. He was sure that the bad blood between the two villages wasn't a one-way street, how would she be treated? And the taking her back in the first place would end up opening a whole can of worms he would rather not stir.

Finally letting out a growl in exasperation he clutched his head, "Damn it Akiza-chan why would you spring this on me now?"

Rounding a corner without paying much attention, he bumped into a dark-skinned, white-haired young man with a Kumo hitae-ate and a lollipop in his mouth, "Whoa! Where's the fire man? That could have been a problem if I was carrying something."

Naruto steadied the boy and apologized, "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Are you all right?"

The boy nodded, "Yeah I'm fine, but what if I was carrying a case of volatile high explosives? Or what if you ran into me while my arms were full of sharp, pointy objects?"

Naruto sweat-dropped, "Um… That would suck?" He really just wanted to leave, 'What the hell is this guy babbling about?'

The mystery ninja stopped his tirade and smirked at Naruto, "You're right. That would have sucked, but fortunately it didn't happen. I'm Omoi, I'm a chunin in this village." Omoi reached out to shake Naruto's hand.

Naruto reciprocated and received it in a handshake, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I'm a chunin too, I'm just from Konoha."

Omoi patted Naruto on the back, "What's a Konoha _chunin_ doing here? I know next week are the finals of the chunin exams for the genin, but you're already a chunin, why would you be here." Omoi started thinking, "Unless you're here to spark an invasion against Kumo and you're befriending me for my higher status that can get you clearance into some of Kumo's higher level areas!"

Naruto face-faulted and picked himself up, "Are you serious? I'm just here with my sensei and my partner to see the exams… and to fight Yugito Nii apparently."

Omoi's sucker fell from his mouth slightly as he stared at Naruto, "You're going to fight Yugito? Why? Did you piss someone off around here or something?"

Naruto shook his head, "No. My Sensei and the Raikage agreed to put me into a fight with her after the chunin exams concluded." He chuckled nervously, "I'm not really looking forward to that little scrap."

Omoi laughed, "No kidding. Yugito is like the second strongest ninja in Kumo excluding the Raikage. Good luck man, you definitely need it."

Naruto grumbled, "Hey, it's not like I'm weak or anything. Ero-sennin says I would be a jounin by now if I stayed in Konoha, but I've been away on a training trip for two years. I won't be that easy for her to beat."

Raising his eyebrow at such a name for a person, Omoi had to ask, "Ero-sennin? Who would let you call them that out in public? Do I even want to meet this person?"

Shaking his head and chuckling Naruto grinned at the Kumo-nin, "Ero-sennin is what I call Jiraiya, you might have heard of the name, apparently the old pervert is famous according to what he says. He's been proving it lately too."

The sucker in Omoi's mouth dropped to the ground along with his jaw. As soon as he realized this he quickly pulled out another and replaced it, "You train under Jiraiya of the sannin? You call Jiraiya of the sannin ero-sennin to his face?"

Naruto's chuckles turned to full-blown laughter at Omoi's reaction, "Trust me, whatever thoughts of the man's character that you have now, you'll land back on your feet after a good ten minute conversation with him. I don't call him ero-sennin for no reason. The old bastard can hit hard as hell though…"

Remembering his real problem in the first place Naruto sighed, "But I have other issues right now that need my immediate attention." Naruto blinked after a moment, "Wait, why the hell am I telling you this? I met you all of five minutes ago and I'm about to get into some personal stuff with you."

Omoi shrugged, "I don't know. It's your head, you tell me. And besides, I'm a great listener and problem solver."

Apprehension was on Naruto's face, "You're a ninja in this village, don't you have something to do? Like patrol or something?"

Shaking his head Omoi draped an arm over Naruto,s shoulder and pulled him in a random direction, "Nope, other than proctoring the chunin exams I don't have a thing to do so let's have it. What's eating you?"

Naruto dragged his hand down his face in exasperation, "Fine… There's this girl."

Omoi cut him off, "Women trouble huh? I can feel you man. Everyone else on my team is a chick except me. I should be able to help, I have experience."

Naruto then proceeded to break down his relationship with Akiza in excruciating detail over the course of a thirty minute rant while the two found an area to lean against a bridge railing. From how they met to what they had been doing for two years and how they treated one another progressively over time, right up to Akiza roping him into a date that night.

As Naruto concluded his speech, Omoi just stood in silence for a minute or two until he took the sucker out of his mouth to formulate a response, "You lost me after the 'she tried to kill you twice' part."

Naruto threw his hands up and started walking off, "You suck! This didn't help at all and I've wasted a ton of time trying to find my damn hotel!"

The dark-skinned boy grabbed Naruto's arm before he could storm off and held him in place, "I said you lost me with your long-ass rant, I never said I didn't have a solution. And when I tell you what it is you're probably going to be pissed and want to slap either me, yourself, or both of us."

Naruto calmed down and let Omoi speak, "Just go out with her and see what happens from there."

Naruto stood in silence for a moment as a tick mark appeared on the side of his head, "That's it? I could have thought of that!"

Omoi shook his head, "Then why didn't you?" He then covered his ears in case the metal armed blonde let out another loud tirade.

Naruto was about to yell at him before stopping and thinking. His thoughts were cut off however as a loud female voice cut in onto the bridge.

"What the hell is all the damn racket?"

Naruto and Omoi watched a dark-skinned kunoichi with red hair and a Kumo hitae-ate as a bandanna stomped onto the bridge, "Are you the guy disturbing the peace around here? We are on the top of a mountain you know? All of your loud-ass shouting echoes hard around here!"

Naruto pointed lamely at her, "Um, you're yelling just as loud as I was."

The girl growled at him and Naruto turned to Omoi, "Okay what is it with women growling at me? I swear, it happens every day like clockwork."

His new Kumo friend walked between him and the new red-haired girl to diffuse the situation, "Karui this guy was just talking to me about a problem he was having. Calm down… Unless you secretly have a crush on this guy and are planning on running away from Kumo with him-."

Karui punched Omoi in the head angrily and picked him up by his collar, "I don't even know this guy! What are you talking about? Stop over-thinking things!" She turned to Naruto who was standing off to the side, "Who are you anyway? Konoha ninja aren't really common around here."

Naruto realized he had been brought back into the conversation, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, nice to meet you I guess. And I'm here for a bunch of reasons. Please don't try to beat the crap out of me, I don't need that right now."

The girl, identified as Karui, looked Naruto over and waved off his concern, "I'm not going to fight you Uzumaki-san. What are you yelling about though? This is a residential area after all."

Naruto cursed loudly, "Damn it! I'm in the residential area? I need to find the damn hotels around here before it's too late. I need to find my partner before tonight!"

Karui grew a tick mark on her head, "Calm down! What did I just tell you? Omoi and I can help you find her. We're not busy right now and it shouldn't be too much of a bother Uzumaki-san."

Naruto stopped and looked at the girl before a smile crossed his face, "Thanks Karui, and you can just call me Naruto, no –san or anything is necessary." He grinned sheepishly, "It's kind of hard to find my way around this place… Apparently Akiza-chan has been here before or something since she just up and ditched me. She probably knows where stuff is."

The trio began walking towards the center of town where the majority of the inns and hotels were located, "Who is Akiza-chan?" Karui asked Naruto in order to pass the time.

Naruto looked at the now docile red-haired girl, "Akiza-chan is my partner, who thanks to the advice of your comrade friend over here, I will be attempting to take out tonight to do something. But I don't know what yet."

Omoi grinned in triumph while Karui looked at him in disbelief, "My idiot teammate gave you advice that was decent enough to follow? Wow." Her tone resulted in Omoi glaring slightly.

Naruto pointed between them, "You guys are teammates? That's cool I guess."

Karui grabbed a sucker from Omoi's pack as he narrowed his eyes at her, "Yep, we're both chunin under the command of our other teammate Samui who is a jounin. Our sensei doesn't go on very many missions at all so we just work with ourselves."

"He never leaves?" Naruto was confused by a sensei that never took his team on missions, "Well is he strong or something? Dangerous? What?"

Omoi grinned, "He's the strongest ninja in the village discounting the Raikage himself. Killer Bee, the jinchuuriki of the Hachibi no Kyogyuu."

That froze Naruto in step, 'Another jinchuuriki? And he's a sensei? Wow… this place is way more tolerant than Konoha, Omoi seems to like the guy.' Naruto noticed them looking at him and shrugged it off, "So this guy. Do you guys like him?"

Karui nodded, "Yeah, Bee-sensei is weird, but he's a good guy. He taught us a lot, and he has full control over his biju."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "He does? What about Yugito Nii? How good is she with her own?"

Karui looked at him suspiciously, "Why are you asking us this stuff? This isn't anything an outsider needs to be concerned with Konoha-nin."

Naruto blinked at her, "Um, I'm supposed to be fighting Yugito in less than a week during the chunin exams for your damn entertainment or something… I really don't like fighting other jinchuuriki."

That made Omoi and Karui freeze in place. Naruto inwardly cursed as he realized what he said, 'Damn! All of this casual talking about biju put me at ease! I'm so stupid!'

Omoi stared at him in shock, "Y-You're a jinchuuriki? Like Killer Bee?" The two Kumo ninja looked at one another and back at Naruto, who was grateful that they weren't yelling it out loud.

Naruto sighed, 'It's already out I guess…' He looked both of them in the eyes, "Yes, but you can't tell anyone. I don't want people to know, I'm not really treated as well for my biju like you guys treat your sensei."

The two looked at each other and nodded Karui smiled at him, "It's okay. If it bothers you then we won't go spreading it about. Wow. Another jinchuuriki…"

Naruto groaned and slapped his own head, "I can't believe I actually let that one fly… I've been so good with that secret ever since I found out. And an hour with you guys ends up coaxing it out of me… I suck."

A pat on the back again came from Omoi, "Hey, it's not that big of a deal. Everyone here knows Yugito and Bee-sensei have their biju and it's fine for the most part."

Naruto chuckled slightly, "Yeah, the way you guys talk about him he must be pretty respected around here. Wish it was like that in my village sometimes."

Karui shook her head, "It wasn't always like that. Bee-sensei had to earn everyone's respect from the ground up. He's just now getting it, everyone was afraid of him even as a child."

Naruto looked up hopefully, "But if he could earn it here then there's a chance that I can too in Konoha right?"

"I don't see why not." Karui smiled at the smile forming on Naruto's face, "You're a nice guy Naruto. A nice guy, but if you're fighting Yugito I can't in good conscience tell you much about her. You know, village loyalty and all…"

Naruto chuckled, "I get it you guys. It's okay, I'll win anyway."

The two Kumo ninja laughed, "You're confident aren't you?"

Naruto opened his mouth but again today a shout caught his attention, "Fullmetal!"

Naruto's attention was caught by Akiza who was standing under the awning of an inn, waving at him. Naruto pointed at the girl as he began making his way over and mouthed to Omoi and Karui 'my partner'. Omoi shook his head as he placed another sucker in his mouth, "And the kid was having the trouble of deciding whether or not to date her? What the hell is his problem?"

XxX

Akiza walked with Naruto through the halls of the inn, "So did you have fun getting lost and finding your way around by yourself Fullmetal?"

Naruto gave her a playing glare as she shoved him lightly, "You were the one that just left me high and dry like I knew where I was going. So do you want me to take you out now? It's starting to get dark outside."

Akiza nodded and fished in her pocket to hand him their hotel key. Akiza was almost bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement, "So where are you going to take me Fullmetal?"

The blonde in question let out a short laugh as the girl was unusually enthusiastic about the whole situation, "You're really excited to go out with me aren't you?"

Akiza latched on to his arm as they left the inn and began walking down the street and smiled up at him, "Yes I am. Like I alluded to earlier Fullmetal, I've wanted to do something like this with you for a while, but with all of the training and the lack of places to go before it wouldn't have been too fun."

Naruto looked down at her with a grin, "Well I'm sure we could have found something to do to occupy our time Akiza-chan."

A sly smirk appeared on the girl's face as they kept walking, "Why Fullmetal... To the untrained ear that might have sounded somewhat perverted."

The blonde alchemist returned her smirk with one of his own, "Well then it's a good thing that your senses when it comes to me are so highly trained, isn't it?" Akiza winked at him in response, "And I didn't really have much of a plan for where I was going to take you. I've never been here before." He finished, chuckling nervously.

Akiza looked at him blankly before a grin came onto her face, "I know, did you honestly think I would expect you to have an entire plan mapped out in a village you've never set foot in before? I have an idea of where we can go. Let's go see a movie."

Naruto nodded in agreement, "A movie is good. Say Akiza-chan, how do you know your way around here anyway?"

Akiza stuck her tongue out at him playfully, "I was here for one of my chunin exams before. It was alright, but no one on my team was as cute as you are Fullmetal."

Naruto blushed and chuckled, "Your really think I'm cute huh? Well you're pretty yourself Akiza-chan. I didn't think someone like you would be interested in me. You could probably get a date from some other guy in this village or anywhere else we go."

Akiza pinched Naruto's cheek sharply and pulled it towards herself, "Fullmetal, I don't want to go out with another boy. I thought I told you this before, you're the only man that I trust. I trust you more than I trust Jiraiya-sensei, so start thinking higher of yourself. You're a great person."

Naruto rubbed his head sheepishly as the theater came into sight. As they got in line for tickets Naruto looked down at him date for the evening, "So Akiza-chan, what do you feel like seeing?"

She looked at the movie posters along the wall outside, "Why don't we see a scary movie? I kind of want to see you jump when you get frightened." She finished with a giggle.

Naruto smiled at her laugh, 'She has a nice laugh…' He puffed his chest out jokingly, "Hey. I'll have you know I'm never afraid. But you can feel free to latch onto me whenever you feel the urge in there, I'm here for you Akiza-chan!"

Akiza grabbed onto his arm tighter, "I already am Fullmetal."

The two made their way to their seats after a short trip to concessions. Akiza wasn't really hungry or anything so she just asked Naruto to buy her a soda as they entered. Naruto and Akiza took seats in the back corner of the theater and sat next to one another to watch the movie.

It was nothing more than your standard, group of teens trapped in a giant house in the middle of nowhere, gory, slasher kind of flick, but that still didn't keep some of the parts from surprising the two ninja.

Naruto was trying to look cool by conditioning himself to anticipate the scary stuff, but this still ended up failing from time to time as he would still jump every now and again. Hey, two hours is a long time to keep your head.

Akiza was watching the movie and keeping tabs on Naruto. Even though she showed fright far more often than he did neither yelled out loud or anything, and when she did see Naruto flinch she poked fun at him for it.

As the movie carried on Naruto noticed Akiza getting rather shaken at a certain point so he placed his right hand on top of her left. Akiza was jolted by the feeling of the moderately cool metal on her hand but she smiled and held on to it upon noticing it was Naruto's.

The movie let out around 11 o' clock at night and Naruto and Akiza decided to head on back to the hotel. Naruto noticed a smile on Akiza's face that hadn't left since they left the theater and smiled himself, "So I hope I didn't make this whole thing unenjoyable or anything ."

Akiza looked up at him, green eyes shining in the moonlight, "I had a good time Fullmetal, it was really nice spending time with you that didn't center around training or fighting, just the two of us."

Naruto rubbed his arm, 'Well… Now as good a time as any to tell her about some things I guess…' Naruto grabbed Akiza's arm gently and got her to look at him, "Look Akiza-chan… You've been with us for a while now, and if you're going to keep traveling with me there are some things that you need to know I guess."

Akiza stopped and looked intently at Naruto who motioned to the roof of the inn. Both shinobi made their way up and sat down looking at the moon. Akiza pulled her legs to her chest and just waited for Naruto to talk patiently, whatever he had to say must have been pretty important if this was how he was handling it.

After what seemed like forever Naruto finally spoke suddenly, "What do you know about jinchuuriki Akiza-chan?"

The dark-skinned girl blinked at the sudden question before answering, "Well… They are humans that were chosen to house the tailed beasts, the biju, inside of their bodies. Iwa has two, but Roshi went on a journey to get better understanding and control over his demon, and Han, well Han was never really too pleasant to be around, he really didn't like people at all."

Naruto breather a slight sigh of relief, "Good, so you understand that they're still just people and not the embodiment of the demon."

Akiza nodded, "Yeah, I mean Han is crazy as hell, but I still understand the fact that he's just like me… more or less. Why are you asking me about this Fullmetal? Are your fuinjutsu studies going that well that you're going to try and mess with that kind of stuff?"

Naruto chuckled humorlessly, "Akiza-chan, I've been dabbling in this kind of stuff since the day I was born."

His companion wore a look of confusion on her face, "What are you talking about Fullmetal. You know Konoha's jinchuuriki? Nobody knows who that is in all of the Elemental Nations."

"Let me tell you a little story Akiza-chan." Naruto turned to face her fully as she looked into his eyes curiously, "About fifteen years ago the Kyuubi no Yoko attacked Konohagakure no Sato out of nowhere and almost eradicated the entire village in the course of a single night. At the very last moment as all hope for stopping the demon was lost the Yondaime Hokage arrived on the head of the great chief toad, Gamabunta."

Akiza nodded, paying full attention to the story as she hadn't really had it told to her before, "Go on…"

Naruto cleared his throat, "The Hokage couldn't kill the demon, the biju are just corporeal masses of chakra you see, so he ended up making a jinchuuriki out a newborn baby that had just been born." Naruto took a deep breath and lifted his shirt, channeling chakra to show her the seal on his navel, "And guess what? That baby was me."

Akiza went wide-eyed and jumped back at what Naruto had just revealed to her, "You? You're Konoha's jinchuuriki? Really?"

Naruto nodded, "He couldn't have taken just any other child to do the sealing on that night. How could he chain a random child to such a heavy burden, so he only had one option in the end…" Naruto looked Akiza right in her eyes, "He sealed the Kyuubi in his own child."

Akiza slowly slid away from Naruto, "What are you saying Fullmetal? Are you really telling me…?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, I'm telling you that I am the child of the Yondaime Hokage, Minato Namikaze, as well as the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko. Both of those things were kept from even me myself until just recently. I just found out I was his son a little bit after you found me in Cha no Kuni."

Akiza looked at Naruto as the two sat in silence, both in contemplation, one looking slightly frantic, the other waiting apprehensively for a response.

The thoughts running through Akiza's mind were all over the place, 'Oh Kami! He's a jinchuuriki! Not just _a_ jinchuuriki, more like _the_ jinchuuriki! His is the strongest of them all! He's the son of the Kiiroi Senkou! I've been traveling with the sensei and the offspring of Iwagakure's worst enemy all this time? He's waiting for me to say something isn't he?"

Naruto's eyes lost a certain amount of luster as the time dragged on. He sighed and stood, "I totally understand how you might be feeling right now Akiza-chan. None of this is exactly light stuff to hear, trust me I know. If you want to go our separate ways after this I get it."

He walked towards the edge of the roof and looked back at Akiza who was still stunned by the turn of events, "I really did enjoy spending time with you, you know? Not just tonight on the date, but the entire time you've been with me. I never regretted bringing you along for even a minute." With that Naruto jumped off of the roof and left Akiza to her own thoughts.

XxX

Naruto had arrived in the room that had been rented for Akiza and himself and found that there was only one bed. Sighing in resignation he saw a couch and changed into sleepwear for the evening, consisting of just an undershirt and boxers. Naruto pulled out a spare blanket from the closet in the room and draped it over himself before summoning a Kage Bunshin to shut the lights out and dispel.

An hour or two later Naruto heard the door to the room open slightly. Naruto figured that Akiza needed sleep to let the gravity of the whole situation sink in as well and tried to pretend that he wasn't still awake.

The ruffling of fabric and the sounds of the girl fumbling around in the dark let Naruto know that she was changing and he shut his eyes in order to not let them stray onto her. Eventually however a pair of hands pulled him to his feet and dragged him into the bed.

Naruto blinked as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around him and set a head on his chest after the comforter was thrown over him, "Akiza-chan? What are you doing?"

Akiza shifted slightly and crossed their legs before speaking sleepily, "What's the matter Fullmetal? We sleep like this all of the time… Calm down and go to sleep okay?"

Naruto was confused. What about all of the things that he had just told her on the roof? Didn't that change anything? Naruto had too many questions to sleep, "But what about all of the stuff I said? I'm a jinchuuriki Akiza-chan."

Akiza huffed, "You're still Fullmetal, you just have a demonic fuzzy in your belly. Nothing changed you from the Fullmetal I've been around for so long just because I know that about you."

This still wasn't convincing him, "But I'm Minato Namikaze's son. And you're from Iwagakure. You should be trying to cut my head off or something right now shouldn't you?"

Akiza shifted again and held onto him tighter, "So you're the Kiiroi Senkou's son. I really don't care. The only reason I might have cared before is because I was an Iwa ninja, I'm not now, and I don't have any reason to be pissed off at him or you. Besides, like I said before, you're just Fullmetal to me. You aren't his second coming or anything, you're your own man, you were hanging around me before you even knew yourself."

Naruto lay on the bed in silence as Akiza yawned and buried herself closer to him. Slowly a smile spread onto Naruto's face and he wrapped his arms around Akiza, chuckling slightly when he felt her shiver from the metal of his arm. Naruto shut his eyes with the smile firmly stuck on his face, "Goodnight Akiza-chan."

She gave him a sleepy reply, "Goodnight Fullmetal."

He dropped his chin onto her hair and let himself breathe in her scent, "Thank you Akiza."

A soft mumble was his only reply, but he wasn't the only one going to sleep that night with a smile on his features.

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**Alright, it has been way too long since I updated this shit, my bad. I just got blindsided with a whole lot of other shit in the meantime, including a new story, and getting stuck in the mountains for two months to help train my buddy up. I'll jump right back into the fracas of all of my stories in apology to taking so damnably long to provide the next installment, I'm sure you all went through withdrawal symptoms and for that I apologize.**

**Next chapter will be Naruto's fight with Yugito and all of the fun-filled B.S. that only manga and anime characters can find themselves getting into.**

**Tomorrow night is Lesnar vs. Carwin on PPV and I'm in there like swimwear yo. I would place a bet on it, but I'm too damn scared to, that's gonna be a great fight. I'm glad my buddy's place in the mountains has freakin' On Demand or I would have been pissed.**

**Alright, it's fucking two A.M. and I'm tired as hell, drop your boy a line and I'll hustle to get the next chapter out. **

**Remember the name people... It's Kenchi:**

**K as in, "Know who that is? It's Kenchi!"**

**E as in, "Everybody come quick! It's Kenchi!"**

**N as in, "No fucking way! It's Kenchi!"**

**C as in, "Can you believe it? It's Kenchi!"**

**H as in, "Holy shit, it's Kenchi!"  
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**And I as in, "Is it really? No way, it can't be! *gasp* It is! It's Kenchi!"**


	48. Everybody Loves a Winner

Review Shoutouts

**deathsilver: Thanks for the rolling reviews, it helped let me know how you were feeling as you read the progressing story and get your thoughts on certain parts. I'm not very picky about pairings (NO FUCKING YAOI GODDAMN IT!) but I find myself leaning towards more unconventional ones if I have an option in the matter. **

**road kill609: Same to you, glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for the reviews that you gave sporadically. If anyone can draw then I guess I can give them free reign to try their hand at drawing my OCs but I can't f'n do it myself. I guess Kishimoto was trying to be cute when he named a lot of the characters from Kumo since a lot of them have fucking one letter names. And while you're right, I did miss an opportunity for some hilarious shit in chapter 45, apparently I have a talent for omakes, but if I write them every chapter then they will lose their luster, and I'm stingy with my awesome.**

**The Doctor 2010: Yeah, Naruto is staying with Akiza. I like writing for that pairing more than I do for anything else I could have come up with at this point, she ain't going nowhere anytime soon amigo.**

**beloveddaughteroftheking: I think I'll use that somewhere down the road, good idea.**

**ShineX: Yes, in my haste to write a bad-ass OC back when I first began this story I probably did end up making Jushiro more mature than he should have been for the starting age I placed him at. This was my first story and I reserved the right to suck at certain things.**

**A Twin: your sarcastic review at my own anger at my pace of the story made me laugh for like two good minutes. I'm aware that I'm faster than most for the quality that I provide, but I still think I can do better, hence the reason why I crap all over myself regularly.**

**irae2007: No women don't like it when you call them those things. I know, it was a shock to me too when I first found out. I was like, "Really? Everything I've ever learned was all wrong! Oh no!"**

**kitsune135: If you've got the shakes like that then maybe I should slow my pace even more. I think kicking it cold turkey is your best bet in that case partner.**

**sexy beast1500: That spelling thing was super embarrassing. It was my own name and I misspelled it the first time!**

**Zeromaru Chaos Mode: It's all a matter of saying 'what else do I have to do today' in order to sit down and gut out new ideas. That's how I do it when I get blocked up.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I do not possess the skill to write to the masses the way that the creators of the series' do, nor can I draw, therefore there is no conceivable way that I can own either one, thank you.

**Chapter 48: Everybody Loves a Winner**

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Naruto spent the rest of his week preparing for Yugito, for the moment his plans for his special seal were scrapped as he had to make sure he had everything set up to fight Yugito. Some of the things that Jiraiya had him study with his fuuinjutsu helped extensively on this front. Naruto didn't feel like revealing to everyone that he was a jinchuuriki, so he opted to fight this battle without the use of Kyuubi's chakra.

The most effective thing he had to neutralize Yugito's demonic chakra was something that Naruto learned decently early on in his training. The use of the Gogyo Fuuin (Five Elements Seal) was his trump card in the fight in case Yugito took to utilizing her biju's chakra. The day he learned this technique Naruto then bitched Jiraiya out about leaving him for six months and letting him fight a kage level jinchuuriki without knowing that move.

He had Akiza learn the move also. She didn't know why, as she had never come into conflict with a jinchuuriki and never had plans to do so, but when Naruto told her his secrets the reason why became clear. Naruto was still training to use Kyuubi's chakra, but when it came to a point that he couldn't control himself any longer and Jiraiya wasn't around it was a good idea to have another person around that could stop him.

Naruto and Akiza were trying to keep from using their techniques out in Kumo's training fields as they weren't sure who would be watching and who could give information on anything Naruto could do. Naruto was somewhat famous for his alchemy, however most people had no idea what alchemy was capable of, so he still had the element of surprise for the most part and he wanted to keep that for the fight.

Jiraiya fully expected Naruto to win not only due to past experiences, but due to the fact that he had only grown in leaps and bounds since his battle with Yagura. Though there was nothing on the line, he said that if he could defeat Yugito he would reveal perhaps the greatest boon to Naruto's training and start him early on perhaps the most powerful ninjutsu he could possibly teach him. Motivation of that magnitude lead to him and Akiza holing up their hotel room trying to come up with a plan to combat Yugito successfully.

After four of the five days were spent making up a battle plan they spent the last day doing nothing but resting in their room, with Akiza lazing about on her new favorite pillow, Naruto.

On the bed, just having the TV going as background noise, Naruto and Akiza were laying on the bed. Needless to say, the two were ridiculously comfortable with one another after spending about two years together. Akiza's eyes were drifting shut while Naruto was simply staring at a Rasengan he had going in one of his hands. Akiza cracked an eye and looked at Naruto seemingly playing with the A-class ninjutsu, "Fullmetal, stop messing around with the Rasengan. I can't do it, so it's really irksome to see you just playing with it."

Naruto kept his eyes on the spinning blue ball, "Hold on Akiza-chan, there's something about this that I'm missing." Naruto noticed the curious look coming from the green eyes of his partner, who didn't really get what he was talking about.

Akiza really had no clue what he was saying. It was a jutsu, a jutsu he had mastered ages ago, all she knew was that she was really glad he had never tried using it on her in any of their past fights after seeing Naruto demonstrate it to her on a boulder, "I don't understand. It's all about shape manipulation, mostly rotation."

Naruto stared blankly at the jutsu in his hand for almost ten minutes while Akiza gave up talking and laid her head back down on his chest. All of a sudden Naruto's eyes popped open and Akiza's head roughly hit the bed as Naruto stood up and sprang for his notes on fuuinjutsu. Akiza sat up to see Naruto flipping through his research on his personal seal, "Fullmetal? What's wrong? "

Naruto began laughing as he drew on his pad and lifted it to show to her. The seal was comprised of a center that was the kanji for the element of wind surrounded by a circle with overlapping portions to resemble a buzzsaw with six points. In each crevice of the buzzsaw circle there was a smaller kanji for wind and on the tip of each point there was the symbol that could be found on the back of the majority of jounin vests, the whirpool symbol.

Naruto seemed to be extremely excited about this, but Akiza didn't know much at all about fuinjutsu, "What does this mean? It looks like your seal that you've been trying to get to work for over a year." Naruto then gave her another drawing of a seal. It looked just like the first one, but it didn't have the whirlpool parts in it, "Wait, I can see the difference."

Naruto nodded and took the drawings back, "I thought that just using more wind chakra would make the seal work. That if I could get the wind chakra to be widespread enough that I could sustain lift off. But this is the answer, rotation. I need to inscribe the seal on the soles of my shoes with one of the seals facing one way and the other facing the opposite direction for balance. This is a serious breakthrough!"

Akiza smiled, "So you're even closer to flying now? You can stay off the ground right?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, but I still need to find a way to get higher, so far even with this, all I can really do is get maybe ten feet off of the ground. But still, it's better than just shooting myself thirty feet in the air and crashing down, right?"

Akiza looked excited now as she looked over his shoulder, "Well go and test it Fullmetal! I want to know if it works already, this is incredible!"

Naruto put his notes down, "I can't do it here. Not in this village where we can't even go outside to properly train. I don't need this getting out too much until I'm done with it. It's a decent secret with the inability for anyone else without a wind affinity to even attempt, but I think that by the time I'm done with it I'll be probably the only person in the world that can use this seal. Anyone with a wind affinity can use it the way it is now."

Naruto stood up and walked over to the bed when Akiza tackled him onto the mattress, "You're going to come up with something like that for me too Fullmetal." She was on his back holding onto his neck, trying to pin him down.

Naruto chuckled, "Well just develop a wind affinity and I can let you learn how to use the finished seal Akiza-chan." He tried shaking her off of his back to throw her onto the bed but she was locked on tight.

Eventually Naruto fell face-first onto the bed and rolled over to find Akiza hovering over him with a smirk on her face, "Are you ticklish Fullmetal?"

Naruto sighed up at her, "It doesn't matter if I answer that question yes or no, you're still going to touch me." He then broke out in reluctant laughter as Akiza started tickling his sides, "*laughs* Damn it! I knew you were going to do that shit! *laughs* Get off!"

Akiza pretended she didn't hear him and kept up her assault, "You were right. No matter what you said, this was going to happen. You need to relax, you can't go into your fight tomorrow being all tense. You won't be as mobile as you could be, calm down and rest like you're supposed to."

Naruto began trying to buck her off of him between his laughter, "I will when you get off of me! *laughs* You'd better hope I pass out in this or you're getting fucked when I get up!"

Akiza grinned as Naruto's squirming increased, "Hmm? Do you mean that physically Fullmetal? How bold." She had a certain flashback and began running her fingers across his cheeks, over his whisker-marks.

Naruto wondered what she was doing until he involuntarily began making purring noises, much to Akiza's delight, "Kawaii! Fullmetal that's so cute! Alright! I have a new favorite pastime; making Fullmetal purr like a motorboat!"

The Iwa ninja squeaked in shock as Naruto reversed positions and hovered over her with a vengeful grin on his face, "No. Fullmetal, don't."

"Are you ticklish Akiza-chan?" Naruto's grin looked like it would split his face, "Nevermind, it's more fun to find out this way." He began to return the favor to the girl amid her laughing protests trying to urge him to stop.

Akiza found it far more difficult to remove Naruto from atop her than it was for him to remove her, "I will kill you Fullmetal! *laughs* Get off of me *laughs* this isn't funny!"

Akiza fought back from the bottom by running her fingers over his cheeks, making him purr while her own laughter rang out through the room. Naruto eventually got sick of making the strange noise and gave up tickling her, instead pinning her hands to the bed. Akiza's green eyes shone with mirth as her laughing settled down and she and Naruto just looked at one another, a blush slowly appearing on Akiza's flustered form as Naruto hovered over her, pinning her down.

A knock came from one of the walls, stopping both teens from continuing further, "Hey gaki! You and your girl need to calm it down in there. You're about to get a complaint from the hotel management about having raucous sex in the room!"

Both blushed and separated from one another and shouted at Jiraiya through the wall loudly, "We weren't having sex damn it!"

"That's not what it sounded like to me!"

"Shut the hell up ero-sennin/Jiraiya-sensei!"

XxX

(The Next Day – Kumokagure Stadium – Just outside of Kumo)

Naruto, Akiza, and Jiraiya walked through the stands to reach the kage box where A would be seated to watch the proceedings. As the bodyguards let them through, A turned to them, dressed in his usual kage robes, it was clear that he was excited about all of the fights he would be seeing today, "Ahh Jiraiya-dono! And you've brought your young wards along with you. Young Uzumaki-san I thought you would be preparing for your match at the end of the day."

An uncomfortable shrug from Naruto preceded his speaking, "I don't really know how to get down to where most fighters prepare for their matches, and I think my presence would disrupt the concentration of the chunin exam competitors."

"I see." A signaled for one of his bodyguards to come near, "Escort young Uzumaki here down to a private area to wait for his fight at the end of the day's events. It will be fine. No one will attack like during Konoha's exam a few years back, and even if they do I have Jiraiya-dono and this young lady here to help. I highly doubt he would keep her with him if she were not somewhat skilled."

Akiza blushed at the praise and made to leave with Naruto before Jiraiya placed a hand on her shoulder, keeping her with him, "You can't go with him to get ready for his fight. You'll have to stay up here with me until the exams are over."

Akiza nodded as she took a seat beside Jiraiya, who had placed himself on the left side of A. Jiraiya looked down at the field; there was next to no grass, but there was a small lake area for suiton users, boulders of various shapes and sizes, and an inclining hill in one of the corners of the massive field, "So are there any Konoha chunin hopefuls this time around?"

A shook his head, "Konoha didn't enter many teams this time around. The ones that were brought here didn't last throughout the tests. I don't think there were any prospects to look out for from Konoha."

Jiraiya chuckled, "Well no one figured Naruto to be a prospect worth looking out for either, but he ended up fighting to a draw in the finals of his tournament against the odds on favorite to win back when he took it as a rookie. He ended up getting his nickname that day."

A loud boisterous laugh came from A, "Don't remind me. I still kick myself for not attending that exam held in Konoha. I mean being around for your invasion would have been a small price to pay to see the rise of the Fullmetal Alchemist."

A turned his head as a presence made its way up the stairs toward the kage box, "Ah Tsuchikage-dono! Good of you to arrive to see the exams!"

Akiza's blood ran cold as she heard the title of her former superior ring through her ears. Jiraiya gave her a slight look of concern and put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. She was too frightened to even look to see if it was the same man, but upon hearing his voice she knew it was the same man that had for all intents and purposes cast her out and wrote her off as dead, "Of course Raikage-dono. I try to make it a habit to attend as many of these events as I can. It's a shame that so many are held in Konoha however."

Akiza shivered at the sound of his voice. What would he do if he learned that she was still alive? He wrote out her last order fully expecting her to either kill Naruto or die trying, probably even both if she were honest with herself. When he discovered that she was still alive and had shirked her duties to him he would mark her as a missing-nin, no doubt. What would Naruto or Jiraiya do with her if that came to pass?

Onoki took his seat on the right side of A and noticed Jiraiya to his left, "Jiraiya, surprising to see you here. I guess you couldn't float along on Namikaze's coattails after his death huh? Trying to get yourself back into the spotlight are you?"

Jiraiya gave him a wry grin, "Onoki… Still three foot three are you? I guess it's too late for an old man like you to hit your growth spurt right? Sorry about that."

Onoki chuckled bitterly and turned his nose away from Jiraiya. A stepped in to diffuse the situation surprisingly, "So Tsuchikage-dono. You're in for a real treat this afternoon. The reason Jiraiya-dono has made an appearance today is because his young apprentice Naruto Uzumaki will be fighting one of my jinchuurki, Yugito Nii after the tournament concludes."

Onoki raised an eyebrow at that news, "Uzumaki, the Fullmetal Alchemist? Yes, I've heard of his track record when up against jinchuuriki. I don't believe that he would be a match for any of my own, but his progress deems keeping notice of."

Akiza narrowed her eyes despite her desire to stay out of the man's notice, 'You mean his progress was worth ending… Fullmetal never did anything to Iwagakure except get strong and look like Minato Namikaze, you don't even know that he's his son.'

Onoki turned to Jiraiya with a smirk on his face, "So if Uzumaki is yours, then you _are_ here basically pimping your name by having your new apprentice fight in front of the people. He'll never get anywhere near the level of fame that Namikaze attained."

Jiraiya chuckled as they brought the first chunin hopefuls out to begin the ceremony, "Well Naruto marches to the beat of a different drum when compared to Minato in combat. Where Minato was more for finesse and speed, Naruto is more about strength and attrition. But if I said that the boy didn't have the talent to make it that far one of these days I would be lying to your face, as you will see soon enough."

XxX

Naruto ignored the roars of the crowd outside as he mentally prepared himself for a fight against a jinchuuriki who had just as much time to prepare for combat as him. Both times in the past when he had fought another demon container he had advantages over them that somehow negated their own advantages.

When he fought Gaara in his full demon form, despite his lack of an equal amount of demonic chakra, he had already beaten him that day in a prolonged encounter, leaving him weaker for their next meeting. He had the terrain advantage, and he was able to get the drop on Gaara with surprise attacks to soften up the Shukaku before summoning Gamabunta to even the playing field.

Against Yagura he had kage-level back-up in Mei and the advantage that Yagura had no clue he was about to fight another jinchuuriki with decent control on that day. Mei kept him from being overwhelmed once Yagura let his full power out and weakened his defenses enough for Naruto to use an absurdly overpowered attack to finish him off.

On this occasion however, his opponent knew he was coming and had ample time to prepare for him. Yugito would not be caught off-guard on her own home turf and he knew it. She was also reportedly the second strongest ninja besides the Raikage in Kumogakure and Killer Bee. Naruto had yet to defeat Jiraiya one-on-one in a spar yet and now he was fighting a village elite, and he was even thinking of trying to handicap himself further by refraining from using Kyuubi's chakra lest he reveal himself to the remainder of the elemental nations that he indeed was Konoha's jinchuuriki, a secret that had been damn well kept when compared to the other nations and their own.

As an explosion sounded out through the fortified walls of Naruto's preparation room, someone must have used a destructive jutsu during a fight, he started warming up for Yugito and mentally going through his battle plan. A sigh escaped his lips as he started a set of simple squats to pass the time, "I'm not getting out of this one without taking another ass-whooping am I?"

XxX

Onoki's eyes were on one of the genin being carried away at the conclusion of the last bout when he spoke randomly, "So you couldn't finish off Uzumaki could you Akiza?"

Akiza's breath hitched, he hadn't tried to even look in her direction the entire time. Her body was blocked by Jiraiya and A, and she had kept herself as low-profile as she could. He had still seemingly known she was there the entire time.

Onoki snorted, never looking her way, "I should have assumed that he would have been too much for you to handle. 'Elite rookie jounin' my ass. Feh, I should have sent Kurotsuchi or Akatsuchi, they would have finished him off."

Akiza's eyes stayed on him in shock as Jiraiya frowned, "So you want my apprentice dead that badly huh? So bad that you would cast out your own when she proved incapable of defeating him."

Onoki looked over at her cruelly, "Was Uzumaki that good in the sack that you could forget your mission. I guess he is if you're traveling with him and Jiraiya now huh?"

Akiza's eyes quivered with tears as she looked down at the ground. Jiraiya couldn't shut the man up without starting an international incident so all he could do was try to keep the girl together, "Akiza do not listen to him. He obviously didn't care for you like Naruto and I do, who cares what he thinks anyway?"

A was even appalled at the casual way the man dismissed one of his younger shinobi. Who sends a young girl, even if she was a jounin in rank, on a mission against someone that had been publically recorded to have killed a kage? It was a bonafide suicide mission that was more suited towards Iwa's equivalent of Anbu.

Onoki shrugged and returned his attention to the match that was starting up below, "Oh well. At least now that I know you are alive and a traitor to boot. I can simply mark you down as a missing ninja and have you exterminated. You're carrying around quite a few of our techniques in that pretty little head of yours, not to mention you still have Sekki Kiritateru on your person. Yes, not killing you would be a total mistake in this instance. You've been tainted to say the least."

Jiraiya looked at the girl who now had tears streaming freely down her face, "He won't hurt you Akiza. Naruto and I will not allow it."

Onoki scoffed at Jiraiya's attempt to comfort Akiza, "Would you potentially harbor and protect a fugitive from our nation despite the repercussions it could hold for Konoha?"

Jiraiya smirked grimly at him, "Me? No, not really. Naruto would though. And that's who you should be more worried about."

XxX

An echo of a voice let Naruto know that the time for his match with Yugito had come and that it was time to make his way to the battlefield. With his escort he traversed his way from the secluded room below the stadium towards the top, eventually flinching at the intensity of the setting sun once they emerged outdoors.

He could hear the crowd's confusion at seeing him being led out of the back area after the tournament had concluded. A was giving a speech to those that had been promoted and encouraged those that did not succeed to try again next year. Naruto could see Yugito at the center of the stadium, awaiting his arrival to begin their battle. Ignoring the exam competitors, Naruto stood across from her, stone-faced, as she looked him over with a smirk on her lips.

"I hope you're ready for this Fullmetal-kun." Yugito placed her hands on her hips in a condescending fashion as A finished his speech, "It would just be so disappointing if all of that hype about the 'great Fullmetal Alchemist' was unfounded."

Naruto clinched and un-clinched his fists steadily, "There's only one person in the world that I actually tolerate using Fullmetal as my name, and you're not her… kitty-chan." A smirk came to Naruto's face as she visibly bristled under the nickname he had dropped on her.

"And now ladies and gentlemen, as a special treat to all of those in attendance today, a special exhibition bout between our own Yugito Nii and Naruto Uzumaki!"

XxX

Karui, Omoi, and their third teammate Samui were seated in the crowd after watching the conclusion to the chunin exam tournament. The two of them that had met Naruto the past week had their eyes widen as he appeared on the field.

Karui watched as Naruto made his way out to Yugito, "So he was telling the truth the whole time. He really is about to fight Yugito. Too bad for him."

Omoi nodded, "Maybe. Remember what he told us though, he might not go down as easily as you think Karui. He's obviously here fighting for a reason, there's no way his sensei would put him into a situation like this if he wasn't sure he could do it."

"That is the Fullmetal Alchemist." Both turned their attention to their blonde teammate, "He's relatively new to the bingo book, but he's still in there with the reputation of someone who comes out on top against jinchuuriki in battle. This match should be very interesting."

XxX

A shouted from his seat in the kage's box, "Yugito Nii vs. Naruto Uzumaki! Hajime!"

Naruto pointed up at the box, "What? Is no one going to referee the fight?"

Yugito smirked, "No, you did warn him that our little bout would be destructive to say the least. Now fight! Raiton: Raiji (Lightning Release: Lightning Surge)!" Yugito generated lightning to her hand and placed it on the ground to branch out at Naruto. Naruto prepared to dodge the attack, but upon moving aside he was struck with a jolt.

Naruto looked at the area that had been affected by Yugito's jutsu, "What the hell? I dodged that cleanly!"

Yugito tapped her right arm, forcing Naruto to look at his and audibly curse, "Oh for fuck's sake! Really? So now I'm a fucking lighting rod in the LAND OF LIGHTNING!"

"Afraid so Fullmetal-kun. You really have to dodge my attacks with care, because all of my electric attacks will have an extra wide berth on you, making them harder to avoid. You're at a mismatch here." Yugito's hands crackled with electricity.

A growl ripped from Naruto's voice, "Well then it's good that I have something for that then right?" Naruto inhaled sharply as Yugito made her own hand signs rapidly.

With a grin she pointed her index and middle fingers at Naruto, "Raiton: Denpa (Lighting Release: Electric Wave)!" A wave of electricity flew from her hand at Naruto who stood in place.

He simply held his breath and puffed his chest widely before letting it all out, "Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!" The wind flew from his mouth and hit her lightning jutsu before repelling it back and continuing on to Yugito, sending her flying backwards.

Yugito stood and faced a grinning Naruto, "Yeah. My element just so happens to be the weakness to the majority of your ninjutsu. Go figure! Now whatcha' got for me kitty-chan!"

His grinning face made Yugito scowl at him as the crowd buzzed in interest.

XxX

Jiraiya beamed in approval of Naruto's performance thus far, "He really has gotten good with his element. I still need to finish up his elemental training, but I need to find him a waterfall for that first. At least he can use lower level things like Fuuton: Daitoppa without seals."

A chuckled at Jiraiya's pride in Naruto, "Yugito isn't done here by a long shot Jiraiya-dono. Your boy will find that she still has much fight left in her. She hasn't even begun to use the Nibi yet."

XxX

Yugito dusted herself off as she glared out at Naruto, "You may have the elemental advantage, but you're still one big lightning rod. Just wait until I get an angle on you, then you'll see."

Naruto smiled at her, "You act as if I'll give you that kind of opportunity." Naruto created twenty Kage Bunshin and had half of them attack Yugito head on. While in the past they would have been rapidly dispelled when sent in to engage an opponent in close, they actually stuck around for quite a while against her and pushed the pace of the fight, dealing quite a bit of accumulative damage in close.

Yugito was lightly panting after disposing of the last clone and looked at Naruto who still had ten more by his side, "So now what are you going to do? I'll just destroy those too. You can't keep up that kind of pace for the entire fight, you'll burn out too quickly."

A bark of laughter erupted from the highest level of the stadium when Yugito said those words.

A confident smirk appeared on Naruto's face as he placed his hands on his knees and began patting them in a patronizing fashion, "Here kitty kitty! Show Naruto what you've got for him!"

Yugito growled and let a flaming blue aura surround her. Naruto chuckled nervously and set himself in a stance to readily respond, "Alright, now let's do this for real. No pressure." The crowd began to roar as Yugito began to channel the Nibi's chakra.

'Should I? Nah, I'm fine.' Naruto was inwardly debating whether or not he should attempt using Kyuubi's chakra to make sure that the playing field was level, but he remembered his self imposed restraints on himself and also figured that he was good enough to enact the main stages of his strategy without using any demonic chakra of his own against her.

Yugito rushed ahead and blasted through his clones in the blink of an eye and tried to duel with Naruto up close using taijutsu. Yugito was extremely fast and flexible. When Naruto thought he had dodged something Yugito would come back around with something from an angle he really didn't anticipate getting hit from. In the middle of Yugito's rush, Naruto grabbed Yugito by her shoulder after she had missed a wicked haymaker. As he rapidly thought of a good counter-attack he left himself open for her to spin in the direction that she threw the punch in and crack him with a spinning roundhouse kick that sent him flying.

Naruto skid across the ground and saw Yugito heading his way again, "Not again." He clapped and placed his hands onto the ground to transmute a large wall. Yugito diverted her way around it with her hand cocked back to deliver a punch once he was revealed, but when she got to the other side of the wall Naruto was gone.

She calmed herself and kept her senses sharp for his reappearance and was rewarded when she heard a clap and the sounds of Naruto's transmutation as he sprung from the ground on the far side of the battlefield. Yugito saw him emerge from the ground and rushed over to attack him once more. Naruto again engaged her in a fierce taijutsu bout as she swiped at him viciously. Naruto was able to counter by stunting her attacks with short punches and shots to her inside elbows to stop her from swinging on him very well. Eventually Yugito got a clean shot on Naruto, but ended up getting an unpleasant surprise when the Naruto she was fighting exploded in a puff of smoke, 'Another Kage Bunshin? Then all this time…'

Yugito glared at the hole that the clone emerged from and smirked as she jumped down in inside to smoke the real Naruto out. Faint puffs of smoke could be heard from under the ground as the sounds of Yugito navigating Naruto's makeshift tunnels sounded off in the stadium.

A clap and sizzle noise revealed Naruto jumping out before resealing the hole he had created under the ground. He quickly sprinted over to the hole his diversion clone had come out of and that Yugito had gone inside to find him before making even more Kage Bunshin and sending them down inside prior to resealing the one remaining hole. Naruto then ran as far away from the general area as he could, eventually jumping and sticking to the wall.

After a moment of silence explosions began to sound from underground. The vibrations of the ground and the cracking of the top layer brought a smattering of mutters and murmurs to the crowd. Naruto simply stayed attached to the walls, looking down at the rapidly warping ground. Eventually chunks of the ground shot up into the sky as explosions echoed from below. A small smile came onto Naruto's face as he watched his exploding clones do their jobs.

XxX

Jiraiya sweat-dropped as he watched the mayhem proceeding below, "Huh… You know Akiza, I think you might have had a point when you generalized his Kage Bunshin's mental capacities by calling them sociopathic. This isn't really a normal thing going on out there."

A's eyes were sparkling in delight, "I like this boy Jiraiya-dono! That is my kind of trap he set, destructive and widespread!"

Jiraiya nodded and looked over at Akiza, "Is this the strategy you two have been working on all week? Damn that was fairly elaborate."

Akiza shook her head as the crowd roared in approval of the battle at hand and at the smoky field of combat, "Our real plan was way less in-depth. It was actually pretty basic, all things considered, but this… I don't know where that came from."

Jiraiya took on a lecherous grin, "So if the plan was so simple what were you and him doing in that room all week eh? Was our little Akiza-chan making my gaki into a man?" Akiza blushed deeply and glared at Jiraiya.

Onoki scoffed at the display, "So this is all that the famed alchemy is capable of? Simple earth manipulation? How pathetic is that?"

Jiraiya glared at Onoki, "Naruto and Yugito were instructed not to kill one another. Naruto can do terrible things with his alchemy. Right then, instead of sending in Kage Bunshin to explode he could have done something truly horrible that would have killed her, just with his alchemy, you'd better hope that he never has to use it on any of your ninja."

Onoki smirked at Jiraiya, as he had finally gotten on the sannin's nerves, "Well if my failure jounin Akiza is still alive after facing him he must not be that good."

Akiza looked away again while Jiraiya put his hand on her back supportively, "No, that just means that he likes her. I'm sure any of your other ninja that he may meet in battle won't be given the same courtesy."

A was sick of the verbal sniping, "Gentlemen! There's a fight going on! I would appreciate silence."

XxX

Omoi's sucker fell from his mouth as debris from the repeated explosions kicked up into the air, "So… you still think he doesn't have a chance? Kami, who would have thought that weird blonde kid could pull this off."

Samui nodded and ducked as a rock from the field flew past her head, "He certainly lives up to the unpredictable label that they listed him with in the bingo book."

Karui's mouth was open as her eyes were watching the action with awe, "Do you think if we find him after the battle he can teach me how to do stuff like that!"

XxX

Naruto jumped down onto the ground and kicked at the loose dirt that used to be tightly packed earth, "Maybe I went a little overboard." He looked around and saw smoke and dust rising into the air, "Hey, kitty-chan… You still alive in there? Sorry about that, I probably overloaded the Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion) again…"

A bolt of lightning flew from the smoke and hit Naruto in his arm, the jolt reverberated throughout his entire body and brought him to his knees. Yugito walked out from the smog, her braid had come undone and she had splotches of soot and dirt all over her body, "That… was very, very close… I can't believe I fell for that. You're a pretty dangerous guy Fullmetal-kun."

Naruto fought off the muscle paralysis that the lightning strike gave him and stood back up, "What did I say about the Fullmetal-kun crap kitty-chan? Only one girl can call me that and you aren't her."

Yugito smirked, "As fun as it has been playing our little war game with one another, I think it's time I end it. Don't worry about a thing. I'm not saying it won't hurt, but I'll leave you in one piece okay?"

As the demonic aura in the area increased, Naruto let a small smirk cross his lips. He tried to generate feeling back into his numb limbs before Yugito was ready to fight, "Okay. Now it's time to see if my stupid plan will actually work."

Yugito's entire body was engulfed in a mass of blue flames that took the size of five times her original size. The flames formed the shape of the Nibi no Nekomata, towering over Naruto, "**Sorry to keep you waiting little boy. I just had to slip into something more comfortable, I'm ready now…**"

Naruto smirked at the transformed jinchuuriki, "Ooh, that sounded dirty kitty-chan. Unfortunately for your focus-shaking libido, I've spent the last two years with a super pervert and a partner that physically teases me on a daily basis."

Naruto dodged a swipe of Yugito's flaming claw and gained distance away from her, "**Kit, why don't you use my chakra? I want to see the Nibi container's reaction to your own demonic presence.**"

Naruto kept on his toes as he avoided a burst of fire from demonic-Yugito's mouth, 'I want to see if I can do this on my own Kyuubi-chan. You're an awesome trump card, but I would rather save you until I absolutely need your power, otherwise how would I grow as a ninja. Yugito said she wouldn't kill me, so this is a great litmus test to see if I can hang with the elites, even if this is just a spar with higher consequences.'

Kyuubi pouted inside of Naruto's mindscape, but understood his feelings on the subject. Relying on the strength of another was not the way for him to grow in strength, and he was using her chakra the way he needed to, as a booster for his own skills.

Yugito channeled a massive fireball to her mouth and took aim at Naruto. He prepared to create a wall of earth to block the attack when a warning rang out, "**Kit move! That's an Imari (Menacing Ball)! You can't block that attack!"**

At the behest of Kyuubi's warning, Naruto channeled chakra to his legs and jumped as high in the air as he could. The attack ended up pulverizing the area where he once stood, but a rising tower of fire ended up erupting from the point of impact and engulfed him in flames. Yugito stormed into the cloud of fire to press her assault.

Naruto ended up taking a hit from Yugito that sent him flying into the lake. This was lucky for him as it put out the flames that were on his body from her fiery barrage. Naruto pulled himself out of the water, coughing up fluid, clothes smoldering, and began making handsigns, "Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)! Take this!" A dragon erupted from the lake and crashed headlong into Yugito as her monstrous form let out a yowl when the powerful jutsu made contact.

Naruto chuckled as he jumped off of the surface of the water, "What's the matter? Kitty don't like water?" Naruto clapped and placed his hands on the ground before pulling out a massive pipe, aimed at Yugito. After a second transmutation the roar of water was heard from within the pipe. Water erupted from the pipe and hit Yugito with crushing force, drenching her until the lake emptied.

XxX

A sweat-dropped at Naruto's newest battle tactic, "That kid is reimbursing me for the manpower it took to fill that lake."

XxX

Naruto transmuted the pipe back into the now muddy ground and sloshed his way closer to Yugito as he pulled off his top-shirt, leaving him in his sleeveless under-shirt. Yugito rose back upright, forcing the muddy ground to dry and harden as she began to walk towards Naruto, "**I hope that wasn't your best shot Fullmetal-kun. You won't be able to outlast your opponent through this one.**"

Naruto cursed, he was sure that would have kept her down long enough to finish his plan to win, 'Fuck! She's fire! That should have messed her up good! None of my wind jutsu will affect her at all, I don't have anything that hits hard enough!' Naruto again took to dodging swipes from Yugito's paws and keeping away from her fire-breathing abilities. The altered terrain came into play however when Naruto slipped in the mud after moving out of the way of another attack. Yugito swung her paw at Naruto who raised his right arm to block and slid through the mud under the force of the hit, unable to gain decent footing.

Naruto looked at his arm, red-hot from the prolonged contact with the fiery cat. As he dropped his arm and tried to retake a stance he cursed inwardly as he heard a rattling with his equipment. The previous shot from Yugito obviously unhinged something in his arm, but it wasn't like he could run a maintenance check in the middle of a fight or anything.

The rattling noise had a strange effect on Yugito. You see, as the container for what some would call the ultimate cat, Yugito ended up getting some cat-like traits such as a love for milk, a propensity towards hissing when angered greatly, her eyes, and a positive disposition towards anything that made rattling noises. In her monster cat form, a majority of these traits were magnified, most notably at this moment, the disposition towards rattling noises.

As Naruto's screws came loose and rolled throughout his auto-mail arm. He noticed that Yugito, who before was aggressive and assertive, now seemed oddly submissive. Naruto was very confused, but never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he pressed his momentary break.

Naruto clapped his hands together and pressed them deep into the mud until he finally hit solid ground. An obscene amount of spiked chains shot up around Yugito and bound her to the ground.

XxX

Akiza smiled and sighed in relief, "And that was the plan. To bind Yugito after she triggered her Nibi transformation. Naruto knew that she had full control over her biju and would pull this out if she was pressed hard enough."

Onoki chuckled in a haughty fashion, "She's a jinchuuriki that is currently using her demon's power. He can't possibly believe that those few chains will bind her in place long enough to elicit a surrender does he?" He looked over at Akiza once more, "It seems your lust for the Uzumaki boy blinds your combat judgment."

Akiza was getting sick of Onoki's mouth, but Jiraiya spoke up before it went any further, "Onoki, didn't I mention that the boy is my apprentice? Well what pray tell do you remember as being one of my specialties?"

XxX

Yugito was furious. Through dumb luck Naruto had found perhaps the dumbest weakness out of all of the jinchuuriki and it ended up with her being bound to the ground by the boy's alchemy. Inside of her the Nibi was frantically giving her strength to escape, "**Come on kitten, you can't let that damned brat win this battle. Get up and show him your true fury!**"

Yugito looked up to see Naruto jumping down on her from above with five purple glowing fingers and a massive grin on his face, "Gogyo Fuuin (Five Elements Seal)! Goodnight kitty-chan!"

Naruto's fingers, hand, and forearm were burned as he drilled deep inside of the chakra body of the Nibi to make contact with Yugito's stomach. As the seal took form on her body the angry blue chakra faded away, leaving her under a mass of loose chains. Her breath was taken out of her body and she could barely move.

Naruto ignored his painful burns and forced another transmutation to tighten the chains around her body. Naruto watched her struggle for a moment against the bindings until the chains cut into her body, eliciting a yelp from her. He sat in the mud, not caring about the wet ground, "You can quit now and I'll let you go, the more you move the more the barbs will rip into you and that ain't fun as you can see."

Seeing Yugito try to struggle again Naruto decided to drive his point home by triggering another transmutation, drawing the chains tighter, "Give it up, if this was a real fight I would have killed you by now. It's over. I can bind these so tight they can squeeze you into a bloody pulp, we're done."

Yugito reluctantly nodded and Naruto looked up at the stands where A stood up and let his booming voice be heard, "Yugito Nii has been incapacitated and is unable to continue. Shousa, Naruto Uzumaki!"

Upon hearing his victory announced he released Yugito from her chains and stood up with a groan, "Can you stand up?"

Yugito cradled her wounds and tried but had trouble, "W-What did you do to my chakra? I can't channel anything to even move."

Naruto blinked before he looked at the Gogyo Fuuin still fresh on her belly, "Oh! Yeah… Sorry, just give me a second. Now how did that go?" Naruto stood in thought before he remembered, "Oh yeah! Gogyo Kaiin (Five Elements Unseal)!" Naruto's fingers glowed with blue kanji as he again drilled Yugito in the stomach to release her of the seal.

"Damn it that hurt!" Yugito shot up abruptly after the seal was released, "Hey, it worked."

Naruto grinned at her sheepishly and helped her walk to the back, "Yeah, when ero-sennin used it on me it just made my chakra all haywire and made it harder for me to use jutsu. I guess for you since it's a five-pronged seal for a two-tailed biju it somewhat cut you off completely."

Yugito looked at him oddly, "Why would your sensei use that jutsu on you?"

Naruto held up nine fingers, "Uh, I'm kind of the jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi no Yoko. Surprise! I guess letting you know isn't too much trouble since you're one yourself."

Yugito looked confused, "But you didn't use any of your biju's chakra at all. That was all you, I sensed it."

Puffing his chest out in pride, Naruto smirked, "It was a great test. If I simply used the Kyuubi's chakra to win against you then my training would have been all for nothing. I want to have the ability to use Kyuubi-chan's chakra as a trump card when I absolutely need it, otherwise how will I distinguish myself from the demon that most of my village sees me as?"

Yugito nodded as Naruto set her down on a bed in infirmary in the back, "Well that was a great fight Naruto. Sorry for trying to antagonize you with the Fullmetal-kun stuff."

Naruto waved her off, "Hey, I called you kitty-chan in response… It's all good. Now I need to go find my sensei, you want to come with?"

Yugito stretched out on the bed and shook her head, "No, just let me get all patched up. Killer Bee is going to bitch at me for losing, but fuck him, he wasn't here to fight you so what does he know?" She finished with a grin.

Naruto gave her a two-fingered salute and ran off to meet up with Jiraiya.

XxX

Naruto quickly found his way back up to the box where he had left Jiraiya and Akiza and quickly found his left (burned) hand snatched up in a hearty handshake from A, "Good fight boy! You really showed something out there. What's wrong?"

A had ended up bringing Naruto to his knees with the force of his handshake. Naruto answered him through his teeth, "Oh nothing Raikage-sama. Glad you enjoyed the fight."

A let go and Naruto quickly made his way to his feet where he was engulfed in a hug from Akiza, "You did so well Fullmetal! I knew you could win!" She looked down and saw his hand with the third-degree burns, "Why didn't you go to the infirmary for that! That looks serious!"

Akiza held up his arm by the elbow to avoid touching his burns. Naruto tried diffusing her concern, "Akiza-chan I'm fine. I hate hospitals and infirmaries, it'll heal on its own. I'm special, remember?"

Akiza frowned at his nonchalant attitude towards serious injury and pulled a small first aid kit from her pouch while Jiraiya came up and patted Naruto on the shoulder, "Good fight gaki. Looks like your work has been paying off huh?"

Naruto chuckled as Akiza administered a cream to his arm and began wrapping it up, "I still have a long way to go ero-sennin. Do you think I'm ready for Akatsuki yet or what?"

"That was a decent fight boy."

The attention of everyone was drawn to the diminutive man seated nearby, "You know I've just been dying to see you in person Naruto Uzumaki." Onoki smirked at the blonde that was staring him down.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the old man, "So you're the Sandaime Tsuchikage? Ryotenbin no Onoki I presume."

* * *

**No smart remarks today. It's the weekend, I have stuff to do tonight, time to go get ready. Laters.**

**Kenchi out.**


	49. A Thin Line Between Honor and Stupidity

Review Shoutouts

**KitsuneNoYomeiri: Yes, I'm an evil, evil bastard, I'll be the first to admit it. It's a shitty cliffhanger, but I reserve the right to cut off my stories at my own leisure. YEAH!**

**Chaosglory626: I could do that, if I could stomach leaving my readers hanging on what should have been a pivotal part of the plot like SOMEBODY WE ALL KNOW! Kishimoto I'm looking at you. I don't think I'll put her with Kiba though, I've rethought that long ago.**

**Anime Insaniac: I do admit that I did like the fight between Sasuke and Danzo, it did have to happen. And now that I actually think about it I can see potential timeskips since his fight with Itachi where he first started getting all supercharged, so it isn't a stretch to say that he trained during that time at all. Like I said before, I don't hate the Sasuke character, as a matter of fact if he didn't have such a one-track mind I might say he had the potential to be my favorite anti-hero character in all of anime/manga, but he's too easy to manipulate for me to say so.**

**Kalevra: I was waiting for someone to get that reference for the longest time. Atmosphere is that shit yo.**

**Nik's Work: I'm a dumbass, you notice how I never tried anymore real formulaic shit after that chapter right? That's why.**

**acepro Evolution: No it wasn't intended to be. I actually wrote that part in without thinking about it. In FMA they always transmute chains and shit from the ground all the time, I just gave it a practical use in this story. I slapped myself after I read your comment because I saw that it could be construed that way too lol. **

**road kill609: Yes consistency is a bitch. Damn me and my need to tie up loose ends! Oh well, more fun for me trying to tie all of this shit together.**

**Jyuubi6: About my temporary loss of personal self-esteem… The mountains suck, and I've been here for a little over a month, I still have two weeks left and only after getting a one day reprieve from the training camp was I able to head into a nearby town and, through mysterious means that will not see the light of day in this story, get my swagger back. And this is your only warning cornbread, DO NOT reference my lack of Naruto ownership ever, EEEEVVVER again, or I'll find you. I am capable of amazing and horrifying things that you can't even imagine… so I'm not even going to mention them. I will however say that I have solved the conundrum of obtaining human flight. Your paragon of light has spoken.**

**Raidentensho: The ignition gloves will be used to bad-ass effect very soon. I just need to get to that part of the story, I can't wait to write it out. It should be a blast… no pun intended. (Okay, yes it was.)**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. So what? I'm still better than Kishimoto. You hear that Kishimoto? You ain't better than me! YOU AIN'T BETTA THAN ME! WHO'S BETTA THAN KENCHI?

**NOBODY!**

*Ahem* Okay I'm done now, enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter 49: A Thin Line Between Honor and Stupidity**

* * *

The perpetual smirk on the face of Onoki was starting to quickly piss Naruto off and he had only known the man for all of twenty seconds. Something about the look on his face, the look of a man that thought he was untouchable and that no one around him was capable of calling him on anything he did. A look that told Naruto how little he actually valued things like camaraderie, principle, and things of the like, he really didn't like that at all.

Jiraiya wanted to bite at his nails. His student was under scrutiny from one of the most powerful shinobi in the world and he was standing four feet away from him, the very man that had put out a hit on him in the Bingo Book. Jiraiya needed a drink…

Akiza was just concerned about Naruto. What would happen when she was declared a missing-nin? Of course they would send enemies after her, but she was currently traveling with Naruto and Jiraiya. Jiraiya she wasn't concerned about, but Naruto wasn't sannin level, there were still people out in the world that posed very legitimate threats to him and they all knew it, and there was no doubt that Onoki wouldn't hesitate to send the big guns after him.

Naruto grinned at him cheekily, "Thanks a lot. Me and my brother always wanted a hit put out on us in the Bingo Book and I beat him to it. When I go home I am gonna so fuck with him about it until he loses his mind! I'm going to lord that shit over him until we both get promoted again."

Two of the people currently in the box gasped at how Naruto had just addressed the Tsuchikage, one of them stifled their laughter. I'll leave it up to you to deduce exactly who was who.

"You're welcome boy. Sorry that a little page in the Bingo Book will end up with my ninja killing you." If anything Onoki's smirk got even more smug after Naruto's previous statement, "You know what they say don't you boy? You're nobody until somebody kills you."

Naruto shrugged off Onoki's threat and insult, "Well if that's the way you see it, I'll end up being a nobody for quite a long time. Of course, Minato Namikaze wasn't a nobody before he died was he? Or is a flee-on-sight order just given out to any random shinobi that can throw a kunai straight?"

Onoki bared his teeth at the boy as he started radiating anger. His bodyguards felt his presence and rushed to his side. A large man with black hair and black eyes with a red bandana-style hitae-ate dressed in a jounin vest, with red clothing underneath the vest and a yellow scarf arrived alongside a woman with short black hair, a jounin vest with a red shirt underneath that left one sleeve kimono-style and the other sleeveless. She also had fishnet tights with shorts over them.

Both of them simply looked at Akiza who spoke to them in a slightly saddened tone, "Hello Kurotsuchi, Akatsuchi. I hoped I wouldn't have to face you two again."

Before either of them could speak Onoki raised his voice, "Akiza here has decided to desert Iwagakure and join up with the Gama Sennin and the Fullmetal Alchemist of Konohagakure as you can clearly see."

Kurotsuchi hardened her eyes as she glared at Akiza, "Is this true? Have you left us for Konoha, have you deserted your home?"

Akiza shrunk away from her gaze at first before finding resolve, "That place was no home to me. In a home you feel safe, you feel wanted, you feel like people truly want you around. In Iwa all I ever felt was nothing, no one cared, and I was cast aside saying that because I ran into an enemy I couldn't defeat I could never return home. That was Tsuchikage-sama's order, and as you can see I'm fulfilling it. I'm just not going to kill Fullmetal, there's no true reason to, and he's treated me better than anyone in Iwa can ever say they did."

The female escort of Onoki's entourage radiated killing intent at Akiza, "You're a traitor to your country."

As the Iwa kunoichi moved to attempt to engage her former comrade A stepped between them, "Tsuchikage-dono control your escorts. Jiraiya-dono and the two accompanying him are guests of mine, missing-ninja or not they are to be protected as if they are Kumo's own while they are here as are you and your wards." His words made Kurotsuchi back down from attacking.

Akiza shrugged off her anger, "It's your country, your village, and I don't care that I'm a missing-nin. The way I see it, it was either die in battle against superior opponent for a cause I don't agree with, or again die, only with my beliefs and morals intact. I chose the latter."

Onoki sneered at his former ninja, "Well then you can die along with him. I'll look forward to seeing you again soon Akiza. Your head will be deposited right next to Uzumaki's on my desk soon enough."

Jiraiya narrowed his eyes at Onoki's not too subtle threat while Akiza latched onto Naruto's arm to try and pull him away, "Come on Fullmetal, we need to get ready to go. The exams are over, it's time to leave Kumo."

Naruto nodded and turned to descend the stairs with Akiza while the elder ninja all watched them leave. Before they got out of earshot Onoki had one more thing to say, "Uzumaki. For someone marked for death in one of the five major ninja villages you don't seem too concerned at all. I can't tell if you're brave or simply a fool of the highest caliber. "

Naruto turned and gave him a grim smile, "Why would I be concerned? I've been marked for death by a group of S-rank missing ninja since I first became a genin, fought in the midst of two kage level battles in the span of a year, fought and beat three jinchuuriki in full-scale combat, and have been trained by Jiraiya of the sannin for almost three years. Any assassin you choose to send at me any time soon can only be a step down as far as I'm concerned and that's what makes it worse actually, because I'm only getting stronger. I didn't even pull out half of the stuff I can do today, all I did was one wind jutsu, Kage Bunshin, Bunshin Daibakuha, Gogyo Fuin, and base alchemy. You still know next to nothing about what I can do, so you won't be sending any of your elites into the meat grinder that's named Naruto Uzumaki anytime soon, unless you have a lot of disposable elites just lying around Iwagakure."

A grinned at Naruto as he spoke out loud to the Tsuchikage, 'Okay, that was stupid, all things considered, but now I REALLY like this kid.'

Onoki simply scoffed, "Like I said to your soon to be departed friend, I'll be looking forward to seeing your body-less head deposited on my office desk one of these days boy."

Naruto simply guided Akiza further down the steps, "And I'll be looking forward to mailing back your would-be assassins in scrolls to you, courier style, when you send them out for me… old man."

The mood in the box was tense as Onoki finally turned to exit from the opposite side. Jiraiya breathed a sigh of relief when he got far enough away, "I'm glad that's over. At least Naruto didn't bait him too much, we still have to get the hell out of town though before Onoki chooses to try and strike at Naruto and Akiza while they're close."

A nodded, "I hope that boy stays alive for a long time. He's an interesting one, though apparently you have a knack for finding talented youth to train Jiraiya-dono. First Namikaze and now Uzumaki, it's uncanny."

Jiraiya sweat-dropped, however it was unnoticeable to the leader of Kumogakure, "Yeah… uncanny."

XxX

Naruto and Akiza immediately returned to their hotel room and began to pack. Naruto was quick to notice that Akiza was moving way too fast, as if she was concerned about something but wasn't telling him. Eventually putting two and two together after remembering what she had spent the day doing, Naruto let out a sigh, "He isn't going to hurt you. You know that me and ero-sennin would never let anything happen to you right?"

Akiza froze in the middle of her piling things onto her open sealing scroll and turned to Naruto, "No Fullmetal. I'm not worried about myself. It's you, I'm worried about you."

A confused look came on the face of the blonde as he stopped packing his own things to look at her, "Me? Why would you be worried about me? I can handle one or two jounin, I'm certain, especially if you're with me."

Akiza bit her lip as a concerned look crossed her face, "I know that. But it won't just be a random jounin being sent out every blue moon Fullmetal. As long as you're with me they'll send entire squads of hunter-ninja after me, and you? If you're around when they catch up with me they'll just see you as an extra bounty that's actually worth more than me. They won't let up until I'm dead, and my pursuers will have absolutely no problems coming after you just because you're nearby." Akiza sat on the bed and looked down, "I don't want to see you get hurt or killed just to try and protect me."

She was really concerned with her changed status in Iwa. It had finally hit her after she had resurfaced that she would be marked for death by her village for deserting. She had come to terms with the fact that her life might have been very short after she made the decision to abort her mission against Naruto, she had intended to only travel with him for a short time and go off to disappear somewhere until she was finally caught and inevitably killed. She had not however, expected to get so close to Naruto so quickly. By the time Jiraiya had found them she found it hard to bring herself to leave, so she didn't.

And now the same boy that had saved her life, that she had put her own life on the line to save in return. The person she had been training and living with for two years, the only person that had ever treated her like he truly wanted her with him, perhaps the only person that had ever cared whether or not she was happy, he was now in danger, even more danger, just from being around her.

Akiza wasn't going to let Naruto die just because she wanted to be happy, he had people to return to Konoha for, he had something important he needed to prepare for, and whether or not anyone in that village knew it or not, he was important, other than the reason they all thought. She wasn't worth it in her own mind. Not worth him getting maimed and potentially killed over just because being around him made her happy.

"Fullmetal…" She started lowly. Akiza had to gulp to get the composure to keep speaking, "I was thinking, maybe it's time that you and I went our separate ways." Naruto's eyes snapped to her own so quickly she thought he might have hurt himself, "I mean let's face it, neither of us thought this would be a permanent fix, and there's no way Konoha would let an Iwa ninja join them just like that. It would save us all some time and grief if we just split up."

"What?" Naruto's voice held an air of disbelief, "I thought it would be. I told you it doesn't matter. Konoha isn't like that now, I can get you in, you can stay with me- .Us, you can stay with us, with me and ero-sennin. We won't just let you disappear, not after all of this time."

Naruto noticed that Akiza wouldn't meet his eyes and he narrowed his own, "What did that short son-of-a-bitch say to you while I was gone Akiza-chan? Did he threaten you? Of course he did, he's a goddamn bully, but you never seemed to be the kind of girl that feared threats on your person." He noticed her beginning to noticeably flinch, "You really are that worried about me aren't you? You really believe that I can't deal with his bullshit."

Akiza hugged her arms to her body and kicked her sandals off, "I won't just let you be attacked for traveling with me. You've already done more for me in two years than anyone else has done in sixteen. I can do just fine on my own, I don't need you or Jiraiya-sensei to hold my hand forever."

Naruto sat beside her on the bed and kicked off his shinobi sandals, "I don't give a damn if that wrinkly midget sends anyone after you. We'll just beat their asses every time they show up. Like I said before, I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're safe and happy Akiza-chan, that was a promise, and I don't break those. Now how is going off on your own with Iwa hunter-nin chasing you down keeping you safe or making you happy in any way, shape, or form?" Akiza snickered slightly before she schooled her emotions again.

Akiza finally lifted her head to look at Naruto in the eyes, "I just don't want you to get hurt for me. I'm not worth the trouble."

"To who?" Naruto asked her dryly, "You're worth it to me. If I can help you out I don't mind getting another enemy to go along with my laundry list of them. Hell, you might be in more danger than me considering who I know for a fact all want me dead." Akiza had a confused look until Naruto decided to elaborate, "Okay, so you know I've got you-know-who in my stomach right? Well let's just say there are nine S-rank ninja that are coming for her very soon. On top of that, I pissed off Orochimaru, ero-sennin's old pedophile teammate, so I got that going for me too."

Akiza nodded and the two sat in silence for the time being until she spoke up with a question, "So is Orochimaru really a pedophile? Because this isn't the first time you've said that."

Naruto nodded with a grimace on his face, "Oh yeah, you can see it in his face if you ever meet him. But that's beside the point. Don't be afraid for me Akiza-chan, it's insulting. I've worked hard to get strong enough to take on a group of kage level ninja, and for you to be afraid for me when I'm going up against hunter-nin, that may or may not come up against us? That just tells me that you think I'm weak. Whether you know it or not you're one of my precious people, and I'm not letting anything bad happen to you, do you understand?"

Akiza laid her head on his shoulder and the two just sat there. Naruto rubbed her back and waited silently, "So do you feel better now?" Akiza hesitated but finally nodded, "You going to bring up that 'going our separate ways' bullshit again?" Akiza shook her head, "Good. Now, I think we should find something else for you to wear now because you really aren't an Iwa jounin anymore, so wearing the vest would be pretty misleading."

Akiza stood up and ruffled out her skirt, "We can get something when we get out of this town, preferably somewhere far away. I'm still scared Fullmetal, scared that they'll hunt you down, or that they'll use me to get to you, or-."

Naruto cut her off when he stood and tilted her chin up to face him, "Akiza-chan. I won't let them take you, I promise. Trust me, believe in me, and I won't let you down, I swear it."

Akiza's forest green eyes met Naruto's deep blue ones before a blush rose to her face, "So… Am I really the only girl that you let call you Fullmetal, Fullmetal?"

Naruto smiled at her and stroked her jaw, "Yep. No one else, it's a title, but for you, it's kind of the only way that I want you to say my name Akiza-chan. I honestly don't care if you ever use my true name ever."

Akiza looked at Naruto through half-lidded eyes, "So you like it when I call you that…" Naruto nodded, bringing a smile to her face, "Well then I guess you finally belong to me after all, isn't that right Full. Metal?"

Naruto grinned at her, a grin that she readily returned as she drew herself closer to him, "So what happens to us now Fullmetal? What happens from here?"

Naruto shrugged, "The training trip is pretty much over at this point. We should be heading to Konoha very soon, it's time to go home."

His senses went off as he felt Akiza hold her body close to him and look up at him expectantly, "I'm not talking about where we're going next, I'm talking about you and me. What about us. You want me to be with you don't you?"

Naruto fought back a shiver as he looked into her eyes, "You're telling me you don't want to be with me yourself? You're a bad liar Akiza-chan. I can feel the pent-up emotions coming off of you right now. I think that if I kissed you right now you wouldn't do a damn thing to stop me. As a matter of fact I think you'd probably let me do a little more than that."

Akiza bit her lip cutely, "You want to try and prove that to me? Or is the great 'Fullmetal Alchemist' full of it?" She tried to will her heart to slow down so that Naruto didn't notice how nervous she really was, but luckily for her his heart was beating just as fast.

"You're really stubborn sometimes, you know that?" Naruto moved closer to Akiza's lips and finally took them to his own. He really didn't want to take advantage of Akiza with their first kiss so he simply held her close and enjoyed the contact with her until they finally broke for breath.

Akiza pushed a bang from her face as she looked up at Naruto, flustered, "Bastard. And who are you calling stubborn, you hypocrite?" She unconsciously licked her lips after breaking off from Naruto's own.

Naruto chuckled at her fake-angry look, "Well seeing as how you haven't kicked my ass yet I'm assuming you liked that."

Akiza stroked his whisker marks, getting a low purr from him, "Don't assume anything Fullmetal." With that Akiza pulled Naruto down towards her to resume their previous activity. Much to Naruto's surprise Akiza wanted a little more this time and tried to coax entrance for her tongue into his mouth.

Naruto let her in and immediately allowed his tongue to grapple with hers. Akiza moaned slightly while wrapping her arms around his neck, and turned them both so that she could sit back on the bed and lay down with Naruto laying over her. Eventually the two broke off once more, Naruto looked down while Akiza's chest moved up and down with her breathing, "So do you admit that you enjoyed that or what?"

Akiza crossed her arms with a blush on her face and looked away, "Okay yes, I did." Naruto pinched her cheek softly forcing a smile to form on her lips. Akiza looked up at Naruto and once again met his blue eyes with her green ones, "Fullmetal, do you love me?"

Naruto blinked before rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, "Wow, kind of putting me on the spot here huh?" Akiza's eyes were locked with his looking up at him expectantly, "Akiza-chan yes I love you. I won't just let you go, not because that rat bastard Onoki threatened you. If he wants you, and I mean he really, seriously wants you dead then his little helpers will have to go through me, literally."

Akiza pulled the hand from her cheek and kissed the back of it gently, "I believe you. I know you're good enough to stop anything that Iwa could send after you, and I will be right there with you when they come for you or me." She sighed softly and looked up at him sweetly, "Because I love you too Fullmetal."

He was slightly taken aback at her proclamation, he kind of expected it to be one sided, "You do? How long? I mean for me it's been since a little after we started staying in Resembool when it hit me."

Akiza pulled Naruto down by his neck to hold him close to her, "I don't know. I would say shortly after you beat me the second time. Why else would I have taken a stab to the belly for you. You need to think sometimes Fullmetal."

Naruto pulled away from her and stared down, dumbfounded, "Two years? You've been into me for two years and _I_ was the one that had to say something to get the ball rolling?" Akiza looked away sheepishly, "Do you know how awesome that would have been if we had hooked up sooner?" He chuckled and lowered himself back on top of her, inhaling her scent, "…Like I said, stubborn."

Akiza bit Naruto sharply on his earlobe and kissed him on his neck, "Don't be an ass about this." She smiled to herself as she felt a bulge in Naruto's pants, "I didn't know you thought I was sexy Fullmetal. That's certainly encouraging for me to know."

Naruto grinned stupidly, "Would you like me to show you just how sexy I think you are Akiza-chan? We are alone you know."

Akiza looked at him curiously, "Weren't we about to leave town? Won't Jiraiya-sensei be angry if we don't head right back to the stadium?"

It was very tempting for Naruto to say that there was no way Jiraiya would get pissed off if he knew what they were trying to do, but being around the couple of his brother and Haku for so long, and spending a ton of time with Jiraiya gave Naruto the knowledge that saying certain things could bring the mood to a screeching halt, and that was the last thing he needed right now, "Let's make him wait Akiza-chan. Remember, he did ditch us in Resembool for six months. Compared to that what are a few hours huh?"

Akiza kissed him again and pulled back with a smirk on her face, "You're bad Fullmetal." She slid back on the bed and motioned for Naruto to come closer to her, "Can you help me out of this skirt of mine?"

"**Go get her kit. I told you the vixen wanted you back then.**" Naruto blinked as he realized just who was speaking in his head, 'Kyuubi-chan! Talk shit later, let me get laid now!'

A giggle came from the back of his mind, "**I would never do anything to interrupt you kit. Give her a little something for me would you?**"

XxX

(The Next Day)

Naruto and Akiza, upon awakening, received a message from one of Jiraiya's toads saying to head to the main gate soon after receiving the information. As they arrived at the exit to the village Naruto smirked as he could see the lecherous grin on Jiraiya's face and surprisingly A wore one very similar.

As the teens came up to them Jiraiya cleared his throat, "Alright, now that we're all here I believe it's time for us to take our leave." With that he swung an amused glance at Naruto and Akiza, "That is unless you two weren't finished with yesterday's extracurricular activities."

Akiza blushed while Naruto stroked his chin in faux-thought, "Nope, we're all good for now. Thanks for the offer though ero-sennin." Akiza elbowed him sharply in the ribs, "Akiza-chan says thank you as well."

"Idiot…" She palmed her face, mostly to hide the blush that she felt was spreading and walked closer to the gate.

Naruto walked up to the Raikage and stuck out his hand with a major grin on his face, "Well Raikage-sama, it's been quite a visit to your village. I met two kage, one cool, one old and douchy, fought another jinchuuriki that kicked my ass up and down your stadium, and I met some interesting people… in addition to getting laid."

"Fullmetal!"

A grin came to the blonde's face, "Thanks for letting us stay here for a while. You're pretty cool. I wish I could have met that other jinchuuriki though."

A grabbed Naruto's hand firmly and shook it, "Trust me Uzumaki-kun, no you don't, but maybe next time. You're welcome and I hope you return to Kumo one day, I look forward to seeing what you can do in the future."

Naruto nodded and caught up with Akiza at the gate leaving the two older shinobi to speak amongst themselves. Jiraiya walked closer to A, "So I guess this is goodbye Raikage-sama."

A nodded, "Yes it is Jiraiya-dono. Keep that boy safe, I wasn't lying when I said I was looking forward to seeing what he can do in the future." He looked around and lowered his voice, "Say, you don't think I can get an early copy of your next book do you?"

Jiraiya smirked, "Sure you can. And with those two I'm traveling with I'm sure the rest of the story will finish itself. They've been such an inspiration so far. Hell, I think I might even add you in the acknowledgement page for paying for their lodging here." His smirk suddenly dropped as his eyes widened as to what the events of their stay actually meant, "Oh fuck! That means I'm on the clock! I didn't even think of a way to win my half of the bet, I never thought the gaki had the stones to actually go through with it! I was just planning on just letting him draw, now I have no choice but to keep up my end of it!"

XxX

Akiza laid her head on Naruto's shoulder as he stood against the gate. Upon hearing her teacher's cry of 'Oh fuck!' she tilted her head at Naruto, "Fullmetal why is Jiraiya-sensei ranting at Raikage-sama?"

Due to enhanced hearing, Naruto had heard every word that had transpired between the two. He simply smiled down at Akiza and shook his head, "Nothing important, just a simple gentleman's wager. *chuckle* Just a wager."

XxX

(En route to Tsuchi no Kuni)

Kurotsuchi, upon the Iwa contingent's exit from Kumogakure had been inconsolable about the blatant traitorous actions that had been taken by her fellow Iwa kunoichi, 'Turning her back on her village, just for that blonde son-of-a-bitch…' Even her teammate Akatsuchi couldn't get her to calm herself as she sat by herself on the ship that was being utilized by the Tsuchikage to return to their country.

"Calm down Kurotsuchi. I'll see to those two soon enough." Kurotsuchi turned her head to see Onoki making his way over to her, "It's too dangerous to leave those two to their own devices for too much longer."

The black-haired girl stood up tall to face her leader, "Tsuchikage-sama, I request to be placed on the team of hunter-ninja that will be sent to dispose of Akiza Tamagawa."

"Denied Kurotsuchi…" He ignored the look of shock on her face and answered the question before she could ask it, "You can't go because I'm not sending any Iwa ninja after them. The Uzumaki-brat was right. He's fully capable of handling the second strongest ninja in Kumo on his own, nothing short of sending my very best like yourself and putting them at risk will come close to taking him down at this point. Now that the facts of her actions have come out in the open he'll never leave Akiza alone to be a target, and with Jiraiya with them as well, who knows how many of my best will need to be sent to deal with them."

He stroked his beard, "No, I won't risk any of my own ninja to kill them." A dark grin came across his face, "But there just so happens to be a mercenary force out there that seems to be damn good at delivering results…" A chuckle came from his throat, "It looks like it's time to contact that Akatsuki organization once more upon our return."

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**Ok, random rant time. You know what really grinds my gears? When you lose your internet access for an entire week due to your friend not paying the fucking bill! He and all of the rest of us had the bank, they just lost the bill itself. Hence why I'm so late with this bullshit chapter. I'm behind on most of my updates for all of my stories because of this… DAMN!**

**Rant over.**

**Okay, chapter over, and now maybe you'll see Naruto get to cut lose in an actual full-scale battle soon. …Or maybe I'll be a bastard and let him get back to Konoha first, OOHHH! And how will this short manipulation of canon events play out in my story? I don't know. Seriously I don't, I haven't thought that far ahead yet, I'll probably think about that while I'm cutting grass or some shit later today. But whatever.**

**I got 'em to hook up, and while I'm not too confident in my ability to write a lemon, damn it I gave it a hell of a shot! I'm done, time to get my workout on, later.**

**Drop your hero a line, Kenchi out.**

**P.S. For some reason I think that baby Naruto looks bad-ass. If you saw the title cover of chapter 501 then that's the picture I'm talking about. That is one bad-ass looking kid, I just can't explain why. The only time I think he ever looked cooler is when he first showed up to fight Pein. I don't know if that's a sad thing or not.**


	50. Something Worth Fighting For

Review Shoutouts

**none: An accident you say? As long as I'm not involved you can have all the accidents you want buddy.**

**TheDon1023: Of course he is. I'm not putting all this effort into shaping the story to leave him as an f'n chunin yo.**

**acepro Evolution: I never lost it man, I never lost it. Because I'm Kenchi, and I'm AWESOME!**

**Erisah Mae: I would have gone into that, but I barely freakin passed my psych class last year and I'm not touching a subject that could get my butt chewed out by people that are actually smart with a ten foot pole. Also I'm glad you read my other story. It seems to be ridiculously popular, I really didn't see that coming when I wrote it.**

**Kethatril: I've been told that fight scenes are my forte friend, thanks a lot.**

**Inarifoxkami: All will be revealed later yo.**

**Malix2: That's what I think, but with this one I can't just drop her and forget about her (*cough cough* Kishimoto) so I had to come up with something and hopefully it is satisfactory.**

**HellsMaji: A combination of chivalry/wanting to actually get along with his team kept him from backhanding her in the early chapters.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Have we gotten the point on this yet? Because if no one has by now I must assume that you guys have the memory of a friggin goldfish. Enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter 50: Something Worth Fighting For**

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(Undisclosed location on the border of Tsuchi no Kuni)

Two men sat waiting in an abandoned Iwa outpost waiting for contact from a client for a mission that one of them accepted. The other wasn't too excited about taking a job at this point in time.

A man with slicked back silver hair tapped his foot impatiently and growled under his breath, "Damn it Kakuzu! Why the fuck are we waiting in this musty piece of shit shack in the ass end of butt-fucking nowhere?" The man had his hitae-ate wrapped around his neck with three slanted lines, the symbol of the village Yugakure, crossed out by a single slash through them.

A second man who was seated on one of the dusty chairs inside of the building looked impassively at his partner with strange eyes, green pupils and red scleras (You know… the part of most people's eyes that are white? Just to avoid the question that I might undoubtedly get later altogether. Thank you public high school. NOT!). With his face covered entirely by a mask, save for his eyes, eyebrows, and his slashed Takigakure hitae-ate, the ire on his face was clearly shown by the visible features of his face, "Shut up Hidan. All those times that I've had to stop for you and your stupid religious crap and now I've actually got something important to wait on and you're bitching about it."

The silver-haired man, identified as Hidan took offense to Kakuzu's words, "Fuck you Kakuzu you damned heathen! Don't slander Jashin-sama! I hope you cook in hell for your words."

Kakuzu scoffed and rolled his oddly colored eyes, "Even Hell runs on money. I'd be just fine."

Hidan pulled a three-bladed scythe from his back and began swinging it around, "I'd rather be heading to Kumo right now to catch our target jinchuuriki, or have you forgotten that we've been sent after the Nibi. I can't wait to slaughter some Kumo ninja, Jashin-sama will be pleased."

"The Nibi won't be going anywhere anytime soon! This bounty I'm being hired for is for 100 million ryo, I haven't seen a bounty that high for anyone in years!" Kakuzu could almost see the money in front of him as he spoke.

Something entered both men's field of awareness as Hidan walked towards the door of the building, "Well it looks like someone's offering themselves up as a sacrifice… Jashin-sama thanks you…" He broke into a dark grin as he raised his scythe to cut the door and the person behind it into half.

Hidan was then blasted through his chest by a mass of black thread, dropping to the ground in pain, "Goddamn you Kakuzu!"

Kakuzu ignored him and moved to open the door, "Your stupid religion isn't costing me 100 million ryo Hidan." Ignoring the swearing silver-haired man behind him he opened the door to find an Anbu of Iwa origin, "My target?"

The Anbu handed him a dossier on his mark and vanished almost as quickly as he appeared. Kakuzu rifled through the papers, his eyes widening as he read along. Shutting the folder with a chuckle he turned to Hidan who had by now picked himself up, holes in his chest notwithstanding, "Well I can safely say that Itachi and Kisame are going to be pissed after we're through with this one."

Hidan raised an eyebrow at his partner's chipper mood, "What's got you in such a cavalier mood?"

Kakuzu tossed the folder to Hidan who read through it and also had his own viewing orbs widen, "Hidan, we're going fox hunting."

XxX

(In the general area of Hi no Kuni)

Jiraiya yawned as he watched the fish that he had caught that morning fry over a fire. Looking up at the position of the sun he stood up and walked over to one of the two tents that were set up, "Oi! Brats wake up! Breakfast is ready!" Jiraiya would have gone inside, but the last time he had tried that, Akiza wasn't exactly decent and he ended up getting an early morning beating lain upon him for his trouble. Yep, the best part of waking up is a female's foot in your nuts.

Grumbling came from inside the tent before it was opened to reveal a shirtless blonde mop of hair rubbing its eyes. Jiraiya stared at the boy adjusting his eyes to the sunlight, "Gaki what are you doing in there?"

Naruto blinked as he focused his eyesight on his sensei, "What? It's more comfortable than my piece of crap tent, that's for sure. And the company's sure a hell of a lot better." Naruto turned his head back inside the tent, "Akiza-chan get up. Ero-sennin's just going to keep messing with us until we do."

Akiza sat up and looked at the two standing at the entrance wearily, "Alright… give me a bit to get ready. I'll… *yawn* I'll be out there soon enough."

Naruto smiled at her and gave her a kiss before heading outside with Jiraiya. Jiraiya gave his student a knowing grin, "Sleeping together now gaki?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Ero-sennin we already had sex. At this point I would say that sharing the same sleeping quarters would be a step down on the intimacy list don't you think?" Naruto sat down by the fire, "How far out from Konoha are we?"

Jiraiya pulled out a map, "We're a few more days out. We've just now gotten back inside the borders of Hi no Kuni so things are going to start looking familiar for you soon kid. You excited to go home?"

Naruto grinned at him, "Yeah, there's tons of people I want to see. I want to see if Sasuke-teme is still an ass, I want to see if Big Boss and Haku-chan fucked up and ended up getting pregnant, and whether or not Zabuza killed him yet for it."

Jiraiya took on a grim face as he passed Naruto one of the cooked fish, "You've got a lot on your plate when you get back. I hope you're ready, your enemies are going to start coming out of the woodwork once you start working again."

Naruto grinned at Jiraiya with a mouthful of fish, "What other kid do you know had the ire of around a dozen kage-level ninja by the time he was fifteen?"

Jiraiya chuckled, "Even your old man didn't have a laundry list of bad guys after his head like you do until he was seventeen. I don't know whether to be proud of you or pop you on the head for being so damn polarizing."

Naruto spit one of the small fish bones into the fire, "Hey! I do more than make enemies. If you haven't realized it the Raikage thinks I'm awesome, I have an entire country that is specializing in trade that thinks I'm a hero, and the Mizukage fucking loves me now."

Jiraiya got a perverse look on his face, "Speaking of the Mizukage, is she really as good looking as people say she is?"

Naruto decided to take pity on the old pervert, "*sigh* When Akiza-chan comes out I want you to dig through my stuff until you find a folder with something in it that you might find interesting. It will answer all of your questions on her."

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Why would I need to wait until your girl leaves the tent gaki? Other than the obvious reason that she'd castrate me with that weapon of hers if I walked in on her again?"

Naruto rubbed the bridge of his nose in apprehension, "Just… trust me alright? It will be better for all parties involved if those pictures never see the light of day. And by the light of day I mean Akiza-chan laying eyes on them."

Jiraiya nodded in understanding and whipped his head around quickly as he saw Akiza exit the tent, fully clothed and placing her hair up into her ponytail, "Good morning you guys."

Jiraiya sprinted into Naruto and Akiza's tent, nearly bowling the girl over. Akiza gave Naruto a curious look, "Fullmetal what the hell was that about?"

Naruto sighed, "Nothing, he just wanted to check something that was in my gear. Come over here and get some breakfast. We've got a lot of ground to cover today."

Akiza listened to the blonde and made her way over to grab a fish of her own to eat. Sitting down next to her boyfriend she gave him a smile, "So, are you excited to be heading home?"

Naruto gave her a glance and returned her smile with a small one of his own, "Excited? More like anxious. I wonder if I'm ready for what's going to happen when I get back. The entire point of this training trip was to get me ready to match up with S-ranked ninja in fights to the death. I wonder if I'm ready or not."

Akiza sidled up close to the boy and laid her head on his shoulder, "You beat Yugito back in Kumogakure didn't you? She's one of their absolute best, if you can beat her you should be good enough to take on any of those Akatsuki losers that you told me would be after you."

Naruto shook his head, "I don't know Akiza-chan… You weren't there when they attacked me the first time right after I got promoted. I didn't lay a hand on them the entire time, they absolutely slaughtered me. Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki… If Kakashi and ero-sennin hadn't shown up when they did I would be in an Akatsuki basement right now having only Kami knows what being done to me, or even dead."

Akiza frowned and flicked Naruto on his nose, forcing him to yelp in surprise and glare at her, wondering what the big idea was. Akiza gave him a firm look, "You've been training for years just for this. You've beaten 3 S-ranked ninja already, one of whom was a kage. You are ready for them, I know you are. And it's not like you're going to be all alone. You have Jiraiya-sensei, that brother you keep telling me about, Kakashi Hatake, Zabuza Momochi, you have so many powerful ninjas that are ready to help you fight. You have me too, and there's no way that I'm letting them take you off to die."

Naruto saw the determination in her eyes and nodded, "You're right. I needed that, thank you."

Akiza gave Naruto a toothy grin, "Anytime Fullmetal." Placing a kiss on his cheek she stroked his whisker marks lovingly, taking great pleasure out of the purring noises coming from him.

"WHOA!"

The two broke from their short reverie with the shout coming from their tent. Akiza stood to go investigate when Naruto pulled her back down. When she gave him a questioning look he just shook his head, "Just… don't. Trust me, you don't want to know."

Akiza still looked apprehensive as even more sounds of what seemed to be approval came from the tent that Jiraiya had rushed into earlier. As the two teens polished off the rest of the fish, all the while ignoring any and all perverse sounds coming from behind them, Jiraiya rushed out with a drop of blood coming from his nose and a grin on his face, "Gaki that was incredible, why didn't you tell me that was what the fuss was all about? I've got to go to Kiri for a bit, you kids can make it back to Konoha alright can't you?"

Akiza and Naruto simply gave him a dumbfounded look as he didn't even wait for an answer and took off with all of his things, leaving the two alone at the campsite. Akiza pointed at the smoking trail he had left behind, "What the hell just happened here? Did he just ditch us? Again?"

Naruto nodded, "I knew I might have ended up paying for showing him that stuff, but he has been training me so I figured I owed him." Naruto suddenly blinked before rushing into the tent and fumbling through his things. Letting out an anguished cry he pulled at his spiky locks, "That perverted son-of-a-bitch! He took my pictures! I never said he could have them! I don't even think I want them back anymore when he _does_ show up again!"

Akiza's head was swimming with question marks until she put together the words 'perverted' and 'pictures'. Narrowing her eyes at the devastated blonde alchemist she spoke in an icy tone, "What pictures are you talking about Fullmetal?"

Naruto stopped his crying and turned to Akiza with a careful eye, "The secret kind?"

Akiza shook her head and summoned her halberd, "Wrong answer sweetie."

Naruto begged off in vain, "Baby nooooo!"

XxX

(Kirigakure no Sato – Mizukage's Office)

Mei Terumi, the Godaime Mizukage, took a short reprieve from her paperwork as she looked out the window of her office with a smile, "Hmm… I feel like someone that I know very well has just been affected by my beauty somehow."

Ao, who was asleep nearby, (Kami, guard duty was boring… Don't village kage have Anbu to do this crap for them?) stirred from his slumber and yawned, "In my day I knew all kinds of beautiful kunoichi Mizukage-sama. Yep… unfortunately I was never the type to settle down and I ended up having to turn down a lot of marriage proposals."

Mei's eye twitched, 'Turn down marriage proposals?'

Turning to her bodyguard with an overly pleasant look she spoke to him, "Ao, shut up or I'll kill you."

The blue haired man was left gob-smacked, "What did I do?"

XxX

(One Day Later – Somewhere in Hi no Kuni)

Naruto and Akiza were still two days away from Konoha by Naruto's estimation. It was okay though, they weren't in any real rush to get there. Actually, they were ending the training trip slightly early. Their time had been spent walking briskly while Naruto informed her on things that she would be seeing and doing once they had gotten to Konoha.

Naruto had a massive grin on his face, "I can't wait until you get to try Ichiraku Ramen. That will throw all of your onigiri bullshit right out of the window. I swear it."

Akiza gave him a dry look, "I don't think that a bowl of noodles from some random stand are just going to flip my opinion like that Fullmetal."

Naruto pointed at her, "Mark my words; you will bow down to the flavorful explosion of ramen if it's the last damn thing that I ever do in my miserable life woman!" Akiza's response was the ever mature and sophisticated raspberry.

As the two continued to argue up and down the road a pair of figures began wandering out from the horizon. As a fairly powerful aura began to wash over the two they ceased their squabble and began to pay attention to figuring out exactly who was ahead of them and how much of a threat they were.

As they drew closer together, Naruto narrowed his eyes once he saw the tell-tale black cloaks with red clouds on them and he tensed up. Akiza's heart began beating quickly as she remembered the instructions from Naruto and Jiraiya about the general apparel of Akatsuki.

The two groups stood within ten feet of one another and came to a stop, staring at each other. Naruto kept a glare on both men facing them down while Akiza panned her gaze between him and their soon-to-be opponents.

Naruto decided to speak to get the festivities under way, "So it's that time already is it? I guess ero-sennin wasn't exact when he said that I had three years to get ready for you guys."

Kakuzu chuckled slightly, "Actually we're not here for Akatsuki kid. Though now we can kill two birds with one stone, I'm here to get the bounty that was placed on your head by the Tsuchikage. 100 million ryo… that's a lot of money, the only other person in Hi no Kuni with that kind of bounty on his is just a measly 35 million. You should be proud."

Akiza glared at Naruto, "What did I tell you? I knew he'd do that shit to you once he left Kumo!"

Naruto put a hand on her shouder, "Calm down. It's okay, we were going to have to fight these guys at some point. And this is as good of a litmus test as I'm going to get when it comes to my own power, yours too. You've been training for years as well."

Akiza sighed and nodded before biting her thumb and making hand-signs, "I know… I still wish Jiraiya-sensei was here though. This would have been way easier if it was three-on-two instead of two-on-two. We're not S-ranked like these guys are. Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Sekki Kiritateru, Naginata no Eimin (Summoning Jutsu: Earth Slayer, the Eternal Halberd)." A summoning array appeared on the ground as her primary weapon emerged from the ground and into her hand.

Naruto smirked and formed his blade-arm, "Speak for yourself. I'm obviously S-ranked by now if our masked friend over here is speaking the truth about my bounty. It is true isn't it Mr… I don't know your name."

Kakuzu again chuckled in amusement at his latest bounty, "My name is Kakuzu child. And it is true Naruto Uzumaki, the Fullmetal Alchemist, bounty of 100 million. And your companion also has a decent little amount on her pretty little head as well. Akiza Tamagawa, 30 million to be exact."

Naruto and Akiza looked at each other blankly as Naruto spoke up, "Wow, I guess I did piss Onoki-teme off didn't I? My bad."

Akiza rolled her eyes and set herself into a reactionary stance as she looked at her opponents, "Yeah… Remind me to kick your ass over it after we're done here, if we survive in the first place that is."

Kakuzu nudged the man next to him, "Hidan, leave the Kyuubi jinchuuriki alive so we can extract the Kyuubi. I can get the bounty for his dried up, lifeless husk from Iwa after we pull the demon from him. But you can go ahead and kill the girl. We'll just take her straight there and get the money for her."

Hidan put a grin on his face at that, "That's more like it Kakuzu! For a godless heathen you can be okay sometimes." Hidan pulled the deadly looking scythe from his back and licked his lips as he looked at the female ninja he had just been given the green light to rend asunder, "Hi there beautiful. You'll be sure to make my day won't you? Jashin-sama would like your blood."

With that Hidan madly rushed in. The sheer braze and bravado behind his rush almost caught the two young ninja off-guard, as they had been conditioned to expect things like opening gambits and projectile weapons at the start of fights, not a straight out bull rush. His attention was firmly on Akiza who finally got her halberd up to block Hidan's first attack from the wicked looking weapon.

Naruto tried moving in to assist her as Hidan beat her back with a berserker-like assault when Kakuzu moved in to try and beat down Naruto up close and personal. Naruto blanched at Kakuzu's speed. He was slower than Itachi, but compared to the majority of ninjas Naruto had fought he was still way faster than them, 'Ugh… He's just as fast as Haku-chan is… Kyuubi-chan! It's now or never. Either we're ready for what's to come or we're not. I know I said I'd get you out, but I'll be damned if it's going to end up with you being used for whatever these idiots have planned for you.'

Inside of Naruto's mindscape the nine-tailed vixen was focusing intently on helping her container out, "**You have my full support like always Naruto-kun. Go get 'em kit, don't hold back and don't hesitate to kill. Remember that they want to pull your soul from your body. What have I been telling you?**"

Naruto narrowed his eyes as he finished dodging Kakuzu's first attacking barrage, "No mercy for the merciless…" Naruto then rushed at Kakuzu in a zig zag motion, forming a 3-man group of Kage Bunshin with each jerk of movement. The clones began throwing out kunai and shuriken between at Kakuzu as Naruto made his way closer.

The speed that Naruto was moving at didn't allow him to notice quickly enough that Kakuzu hadn't even tried moving and when the sharp weapons made contact they harmlessly bounced off of him. Naruto had been close enough to launch a blade-arm punch but wasn't able to stop the attack until it glanced off of Kakuzu's body much like the shuriken did, however it did rip up the chest area of his cloak.

Naruto was drilled in the face with a punch from the Taki nuke-nin and sent rolling along the ground. His Kage Bunshin took up a defensive perimeter around their creator as he picked himself up off of the ground. Naruto spit out blood and wiped his busted lip, "What the fuck was that?"

Kakuzu pulled off his tattered cloak to reveal a black muscle shirt, showing that he had massive stitches all over his body, "That was Doton: Domu (Earth Release: Earth Spear). You can't break through my skin boy, my skin is now far too dense even for your blade."

Naruto stood behind his wall of clones, "Block this then." Naruto tapped his clones on the shoulders one by one, sending them off on a path around Kakuzu, encircling him. Naruto nodded to his clones that then all pulled out gloves and placed them on their left hands, all with evil grins on their faces.

Kakuzu simply looked at all of the clones and then at the Naruto who was simply watching. Taking note of all of the white gloves the masked man looked amused, "What are you doing kid? You gonna check for fingerprints?"

Naruto chuckled, "Nah… There's just something that I've been dying to test out in battle and you're a fantastic guinea pig for it." Looking at his clones excitedly he spoke again, "Now normally I would say that a battle isn't really a place to learn how to use something, but to hell with it! Boys!"

The clones raised their gloved left hands and snapped their fingers. All Kakuzu saw was a spark emerging from the cloth of the gloves being rubbed together before his world became an inferno.

XxX

(With Akiza and Hidan)

Akiza had long since recovered from the ferocity of Hidan's first series of attacks and began to fight with him on par. Hidan's use of a cable connected to his scythe was an unexpected nuisance, but Akiza had been training with lengthy close-range weaponry since she was a little girl, and having a willing and able sparring partner that could form pretty much anything he wanted to use as a weapon from the minerals in the ground, a scythe ironically being one of his choices, allowed her battle experience against weapon toting enemies to increase exponentially over the last two and a half years.

Hidan hadn't really expected an opponent with a weapon that was even longer than his and it was starting to upset him somewhat, "Hold still you little bitch! Just let me cut you!"

Akiza scoffed as she parried a strike with the pole of her weapon before flipping it around and lashing out with a quick slash that caught Hidan on his arm, "Why the hell would I do that? You just yelled about killing me for you 'Jason-sama' or whatever his name was."

Hidan came back in swinging his scythe at strange angles with the assistance of the cable linked to under his cloak that began to test the limits of Akiza's weapon defense. Getting sick of coming within a hair's breadth of getting cut into ribbons by her asshole of an opponent. Akiza jumped back to get some distance, "Enough of this shit! Hirogeru!"

Hidan was caught by surprise as the business end of Akiza's weapon extended and pierced him right through the chest, continuing to extend even after it burst through his back.

Akiza smiled to herself as she saw her blade hit him flush, "That was way too easy. An S-ranked ninja was that easy for me to beat? I'm better than I thought I was, I guess."

"That fucking hurt you bitch!" Hidan roared as he rushed forward down the blade, forcing it even deeper into his chest as he wanted nothing more than to separate Akiza's head from her shoulders. The girl was so caught off guard that only when Hidan reached the point where he rammed his chest into the blade guard of the weapon she reacted.

Akiza's could only speculate on exactly how the fuck he survived that attack that had punched a hole right through his chest, and then he started his berserk rush again… with her weapon lodged firmly in his chest… and he was pushing it further into his chest while he ran down the blade, swinging at her.

Akiza was forced to let go to avoid the blade and get some space. She pointed an accusing finger at Hidan, "Why the fuck aren't you dead? What, do your organs move around inside of your body or something?"

Hidan laughed as he turned to face her, the enlarged halberd still sticking out of his chest, "This is Jashin-sama's greatest gift to me! I am immortal. You can stab me in the chest all you like little girl, you can't kill me."

Akiza narrowed her eyes, "Is that a challenge?" She extended her arm and crooked her finger at Hidan, "Kaektekuru."

Hidan looked at the girl in confusion, 'Did that bitch just tell me to come back?' His thoughts were cut off when he was forced to yell in pain as the halberd flew from his chest cavity and back into her hand, "What the fuck was that you little cunt?"

Akiza slammed the pole tip of the weapon onto the ground, standing it up straight, "I'm so glad Jiraiya-sensei taught me how to bond with my weapon. How he knew Sekki Kiritateru was sentient when I didn't I'll never know… and right now I don't care." She let go of her weapon, leaving it standing straight up, "You got blood on the handle you asshole!"

Hidan touched at the gaping hole in his chest, "That was really good. I didn't see that one coming, but Kisame's weapon can do that flying shit too so I'm not too shocked. You're still going to die here girly."

Akiza leaned on her weapon like a pole, "You say you're immortal. Well let's find out how immortal you really are."

XxX

(Konoha – Hokage Tower)

Tsunade had somehow singlehandedly finished her day's paperwork and had yet to have even more dumped on her lap. Thus she was taking a well earned break from the service of being her village's kage. Mentally she was cursing a certain blonde brat for leaving without telling her how to do paperwork the easy way, since Sarutobi still wasn't telling. As a matter of fact he took it as a point of amusement whenever she asked him.

As she was thinking of ways to torment the boy upon his arrival a toad appeared in her office with a scroll. After dropping it on the desk he vanished in a second puff of smoke. Tsunade picked it up and began to read. Growling at the writer upon finishing, "Dumbass pervert… Great, now Naruto's out wandering the country all alone without Jiraiya there. Shizune!"

Said black-haired medic-ninja appeared in the door shortly after her name had been called out, "What do you need Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade rolled the scroll back up, "Get me someone that I can send out to find Naruto. Jiraiya's got him wandering around Hi no Kuni while he's off gallivanting in Mizu no Kuni."

Shizune gave the Hokage an odd look, "Why is Jiraiya-sama going to Mizu no Kuni?"

Tsunade rubbed her temple, "I don't know… Something about the Mizukage and research… I don't care. Get me someone that can find and retrieve Naruto."

XxX

(With Naruto)

"WOOO! You know he's dead!" Naruto grinned as the flames from his attack died down. He ended up catching Kakuzu in the ultimate crossfire with his attack. Even his clones were fully engulfed in the inferno and dispelled, "There's no way in hell he lived through that."

"That was a pretty good surprise kid…" Naruto found Kakuzu walking out of the smoky remains of the inferno, "You even ended up taking out one of my hearts… I guess I'll have to take one from your little girlfriend as a replacement."

Naruto bared his teeth at the idea of this man taking Akiza's heart out, "You lay a finger on her and I'll rip your head off with my bare hands."

Kakuzu chuckled, "On second thought though, Hidan probably killed her himself by now and is doing that stupid post-fight ritual of his. Oh well, at least dealing with you will eat up chunks of time that would have otherwise had me waiting on his unconscious ass."

Naruto glared at Kakuzu, "Akiza-chan won't be so easy to kill. I'm going to kill you and then I'm going to kill him."

"Oh please brat. If the Shodaime Hokage couldn't kill me then what makes you think you can?" Naruto was confused. The Shodaime Hokage? What the hell was this guy talking about? Kakuzu looked like he was checking for something when he looked at Naruto with an upset look on his face, "You took out my earth element heart… Hey, that girl is from Iwa. I'll bet she's a doton element. I'll have to finish you quick so that I can take her heart before Hidan destroys her. He can't be killed you know? He's immortal."

Naruto slipped into a stance, "Immortality is bullshit, but if you think that your friend is so dangerous and that Akiza-chan is so overmatched I guess I'll have to straight up kill you and help her out."

Kakuzu rushed at Naruto who met him head on. When Naruto tried cutting he noticed that Kakuzu wasn't so eager to take his hits head on this time. Kakuzu tried to sweep Naruto's legs from under him and ended up having to dodge a retaliatory knee strike to the face from the boy, "What's the matter Kakuzu? What happened to you taking my punches head on and letting me hit you. I kind of liked when you let me do that."

Kakuzu turned and let Naruto see his back. Naruto almost puked when he saw what Kakuzu was showing him. Four masks were sown into Kakuzu's back, however one of them was broken, "I have five hearts. One is my own inside of my chest, and the others are kept inside of this mask. Replenishing these hearts with new ones every once in a while is the reason that I've lived so long."

Naruto remembered him talking about the Shodaime Hokage, "So… how old would that make you for knowledge's sake?"

Kakuzu grinned under his mask, "91 years old."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "You're even older than jiji? So stealing these hearts keeps you alive and you have five of them. You're telling me that I have to kill you four more times to beat you right?"

Kakuzu turned back around, "That's basically the gist of it. Each mask has an element. You just so happened to destroy the one that had my earth element, that's why I'm no longer using Doton: Domu. So you scared yet?"

Naruto smirked at him, "Are you kidding me? I get to kick your decrepit ass four more times and each time I kill you, you get a little weaker." Naruto rushed at Kakuzu, leading with his strong side, or what most would call his blade-arm.

A long time ago Naruto acknowledged the fact that what used to be perhaps his greatest handicap, would have to become his greatest strength in battle. Training to fight with his fake right arm as his focus paid off in the academy, having never lost to anyone that had ever fought him. Not even 'Rookie of the Year' Sasuke Uchiha had beaten him once Naruto's steel fist made contact with his opponent's face. He worked as hard as he could to learn how to make contact with the steel appendage and obtain pinpoint accuracy along with the implied one-hit knockout/killing power of a blunt metal object. With his added speed and ever-increasing muscle mass, Naruto was a close-quarters force to reckon with, and that's without him having to resort to transforming his arm to his favorite weapon, the simple, yet uber effective short blade was Naruto's greatest tool in combat, allowing him to go toe-to-toe with almost any foe, regardless of their weapon type, and letting him overwhelm unarmed adversaries.

Suffice it to say, his taijutsu had to get to what he liked to call, 'Borderline Bushy-Brows' status in order for him to be able to go one-on-one with weapon wielding psychopaths like Kisame Hoshigaki or Hidan. His development of Akuma-ken (Devil Fist) over the last few years consisted of him developing a ton of hand speed, mostly in his right arm, and developing more close range technique and improved footwork to keep opponents with low reaction time in close to give him ample opportunity to launch the right arm and end the fight.

Jiraiya likened Naruto's obvious hand-to-hand fighting style as something of a freight train when it was clicking on all cylinders and Naruto was feeling the flow of battle, you could know exactly what's coming, but actually stopping it was something else entirely.

Kakuzu wasn't the fastest member of Akatsuki whatsoever. Most of the time when someone got close to him he would just use Doton: Domu and proceed to dominate them with his increased strength that the jutsu provided him, either that or when faced with a troublesome close-range specialist he would just use his black threads and pull out their hearts. With his earth element gone and with him unable to kill Naruto he was actually forced to fight in close range against a person that had been making a concerted effort to get damn good at beating people up with his bare hands and had no such concessions against killing his enemy.

Naruto was one of the most enigmatic jinchuuriki to Akatsuki, right behind Kirabi of Kumo. Not because he was hard to find (Like Kirabi), not because it was hard to get any word on him (Again… like Kirabi). No, it was all because information on his battle style was simply extremely hard to come by. In all of the years that they had been gathering info on the jinchuuriki, they had always been easy to get word on. They were used actively on missions and were somewhat well known at large.

Not Naruto.

The list of people that knew of him as a jinchuuriki outside of Konoha could be counted on one hand. The amount of his battles that were well documented were scarce. Other than his actions at the chunin exam finals and his exhibition fight against Yugito just a few weeks prior to the current battle there was absolutely nothing on him. The only true battle in the last three years that Zetsu, Akatsuki's spy, might have been able to get information on Naruto from was during his battle with Sasuke Uchiha at the Valley of the End, where he was a spectator. Even then, Naruto hadn't fought Sasuke full blast, toying with the Uchiha until he ended up being gaffed in the side with Chidori at which point he turned up the Kyuubi's chakra and blitzed the overmatched Uchiha and defeated him, earning Naruto a place on Orochimaru's shit list.

The battle that actually made Naruto legendary, and made him a hero to Kirigakure, was his fight with Yagura, a fight that absolutely NOBODY had facts about. Only the Mizukage Mei Terumi had anything on it and she wasn't going to betray her most vaunted ally's trust after he put his neck on the line for the rebellion the way he did.

The point of all of this is simply, no one in Akatsuki, except for maybe, _maybe_, Itachi and Kisame had any true idea of what Naruto could do, and even they didn't know anything, as they barely saw him attack when they "fought". It was mostly them taking turns stomping a mudhole in Naruto's ass while he held out valiantly and ran away. Therefore Kakuzu and Hidan came into this fight utterly blind as they had not an inkling of what Naruto could do or what the hell he had been doing with himself for so long.

Sucks for them.

Anyone that was actually willing to spill information on the blonde's battle style from over the years was dead. Naruto was usually very good about killing his opponents. Everyone he fought in Kiri's bloodline war could attest to that. Only Kabuto Yakushi, Orochimaru's right hand man and Sasori's spy, gave out any info, and all he really let them know was that Naruto was really good at using his auto-mail arm and that he had learned Rasengan. What a bounty of knowledge that was…

Thus when Naruto came at Kakuzu he really didn't expect a possibility of Naruto moving so fast he couldn't keep up with his speed. He barely moved aside as Naruto slashed him across the chest with his blade-arm. The only thing that really saved Kakuzu was that the yellow and black blur that cut him came right at him. Had Naruto tried from an angle he would have killed Kakuzu again, but only experience with such an advantage over your opponent would teach one subtle nuances such as that. Evidence that the blonde, while extremely fast and well aware of exactly how fast he truly is, was not used to having such an advantage over his enemies. That meant that he either got that fast all on his own and was later informed how ridiculously fast he truly was later on, or the person he usually tested his full speed against was just as fast or faster than him. Either way Kakuzu had to step his game up or else he would be outworked by this upstart.

Kakuzu felt the cut on his chest, "You're very fast for one so young. That's quite dangerous."

Naruto shrugged, "I know a lot of people with Sharingan, one of which are planning on coming to take my head after you fail. I was always told that the best way to bypass the Sharingan's advantage was to simply move faster than the user's body could follow, so I learned how. And that was all me by the way, no chakra added. Now are _you_ scared yet?"

Kakuzu laughed heartily (no pun intended) and somehow forced the eagle mask and the tiger mask on his back to a demonic tiger body and a body with four legs and wings made entirely out of the black threads from his own body. Naruto raised an eyebrow at this and felt the power radiating from the thing, "What the hell are those things?"

The beast roared as Kakuzu spoke, "These are manifestations of my elements boy. Wind and fire to be exact." With a wave of his hand Kakuzu sent the two massive creatures at his blonde target.

Naruto cursed inwardly as the enemy force was incoming, "Fuck…"

XxX

(With Akiza and Hidan)

Akiza was sick of this fight. Through use of her training with Naruto on her taijutsu style she used her developed flexibility and dexterity to stay out of range of Hidan's blades, all the while dealing him damage, some of which was pretty fatal. Hidan's berserker style of simply trying to hit her and damn the consequences let her get off some pretty precise strikes that would have killed anybody else by now.

She had cut him on the inside of his thigh close to his groin, an area where there were some very vital arteries that would have caused him to bleed out. He simply cursed her out and hobbled back towards her.

She had hit him head on with Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Dragon Jutsu) and knew that the blunt force alone from that jutsu should have turned him into paste. He just spit up a ton of blood, cursed her out and ran right back into the fray.

She stabbed him directly under his armpit after ducking a slash and then forced her blade to extend out through the other side. He cursed her out while he looked like he had been hung out on a laundry line until she retracted her blade.

She cleaved open his belly. He held his insides inside and wrapped tatters of his Akatsuki cloak around his torso to hold it all in.

She even had a few Tsuchi Bunshin hold him in place while she stabbed him down through the collarbone, extended the blade as far down as it could go before it hit the ground and then pulled it out. Oh she got a royal cursing for that one, but no dead Hidan and it was starting to piss her off.

"Fucking lay down and die! These are all killshots! When you hit someone with a killshot they fucking die! That's why they're called killshots!" Akiza shouted while Hidan picked himself up off the ground once more.

The man in question glared at the girl that was wounding him so, "You are the most troublesome little bitch that I've ever fought. I haven't hit you once."

Akiza set her halberd back in a ready position, "Yeah, well you keep saying that you only need one shot, and screaming at me to 'hold still bitch so I can gut you' isn't really going to make me slow down and let you do so, is it? How are you even a ninja anyway? You honestly fight like shit and you haven't used a single jutsu the entire time I've been fighting you. Why aren't you a samurai or something? At least then you'd get an opponent that would be more inclined to stand across from you and trade blows."

Hidan was getting upset. Up until now no one had ever insulted him as a ninja to his face before because he could kill anyone that did it. No one ever defeated him in battle. Even enemies that picked him apart much like this girl was doing ran out of strength and chakra dealing him damage, leading to him eventually ending the fights in a gruesome manner. This girl had been using ninjutsu regularly to attack him and she had also summoned that damnable halberd, at which time she was more inclined to simply stab and slash away at him while keeping him away from her.

Hidan was nearly frothing at the mouth, no one had avoided his checkmate in a one-on-one battle thus far and yet he couldn't even get the first step of his technique completed, "Why the fuck won't you run out of energy? You should be huffing and puffing by now!"

Akiza smirked, "For the last two years I have been training with a jinchuuriki with enough stamina to put at least a dozen ninja to shame, and I've been having sex with him for the last month so I have to say, fighting you after having to keep up with him for so long is something of a brisk workout. He also kind of fights like you when he's pissed off so that's always a plus, though he does actually drop and stay down when I hit him clean with killshots."

In her head she was somewhat in turmoil though, 'Goddamn it! At this rate eventually he will cut me. I can't avoid getting wounded forever, and even though I have some pretty big jutsu they won't beat this guy if he really is immortal.' She raised her blade in resignation, 'All I can do is wait for Fullmetal to finish his opponent and hope that this guy doesn't get me beforehand. He seems to be really obsessed with even just nicking me with the way he's just swinging from anywhere. He's not as fast as Fullmetal is though, so hopefully I can keep this up.'

"Here I come Iwa bitch!" Hidan shouted before he came at her again, "Time to step this up a bit!" Hidan swung at her again, only this time when she lifted her pole to block he changed his scythe's trajectory altogether, curving it around her halberd's protection. She narrowly avoided her pretty little head being separated from her shoulders by a three-bladed scythe.

Sweating as she backed off from Hidan again she wasn't allowed any room. Hidan's odd style of attacking was beginning to wear on her defense. She was unable to muster any counter strikes because when she was forced to dodge it was done at such an awkward angle that it was all she could do to simply regain her balance before his next swing, let alone attack in response.

She gritted her teeth before flipping over Hidan's head, a risky gambit with the size and length of his weapon and flipped through hand-signs, "Iwa no Yoroi (Stone Armor)!" As she finished the jutsu she began to shine in the sunlight. Proof that her transparent armor was active. Even though she was invulnerable after utilizing her jutsu she was frowning, 'Kami, this jutsu still takes so much chakra out of me. I don't know how long I can keep it on. When I fought Fullmetal, fifteen minutes was my maximum… I know that it has to be more by now since my reserves have gone up, but I haven't even tried using it since. If I stick to pure blade work then I have at a minimum twenty minutes of invulnerability, if I use any more ninjutsu to keep him off of me and try to kill him before Fullmetal shows up then I don't know but it would be considerably less. I just have to go with the flow, nothing else I can do but keep fighting.'

XxX

(With Naruto and Kakuzu)

As he maneuvered out of the way of the enemy monsters, Naruto was sick of being on the wrong end of the numbers game, "Oh, fuck this shit! Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!" As Naruto was shrouded in a cloud of smoke a smirk came to his lips, "Now that's what I'm talking about."

As the smoke cleared two toads, both somewhat bigger than Naruto himself appeared. One was orange, the other was yellow, and both had on blue sleeveless open vests, "Gamakichi, Gamatatsu. Good to see you guys."

Gamakichi looked up, as Naruto was standing on top of him and smiled at the sight of his blonde summoner, "**Hey nii-san! How you doing? You got more kick-ass news for me?**"

Naruto shook his head, "No, but I have a fight for you guys. Are you and Gamatatsu ready for one, because I'm sick of being multi-teamed by these freaks."

Gamatatsu looked out and spoke up in his high voice, "**Hey Naruto-nii? You gonna feed us after the fight?**"

Naruto rolled his eyes at the immature yellow toad, "Yes Gamatatsu, I'm going to feed you two after the fight…"

Gamakichi reached over and smacked his brother with a webbed hand, "**Focus Gamatatsu focus! We've got a real deal fight here! This is the first time we've really been summoned to fight! Why'd you summon us nii-san?**"

Naruto patted both frogs on the heads, "Because you're the two toads that I've trained with the most, and the ones that I like the most. Now let's finish these losers so I can go save my Akiza-chan, who will then be super grateful, and shower me with love, and something else…"

Gamakichi grinned up at his friend, "**I've gotcha nii-san… Alright let's do this.**"

Gamatatsu however was totally lost, "**What's she gonna do Naruto-nii? You kind of cut out at the end there.**"

Naruto looked down at Gamakichi, "Dude I thought you were going to tell everyone on Mt. Myoboku that I finally scored. What the hell?"

The orange toad rubbed his forehead with his webbed hand, "**I did. Hell, dad himself wants you to summon him so he can razz you about it. He just didn't get it. He never gets it, he didn't even get it when dad tried to give him the talk you know?**"

Kakuzu was simply waiting through the banter between the toads and his jinchuuriki target, "Are you done yet? Can we finish this already? You're walking money kid, and I aim to collect."

Naruto focused back on Kakuzu, "Guys, this freak is here to capture me, extract the Kyuubi, and take my dried up soulless husk to Iwgakure for a bounty. Let's show him why coming after me was a bad idea…" A nod of affirmation from both toads was his answer, "Excellent, now let's go wild."

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**Chapter finally up for your reading pleasure. Sorry for the delay, I'm working out some stuff for later in the story and used my other stories as a way to fight through the mental block. It's all cleared up now though, so I'm back in the saddle.**

**I worked out the last of my college preparation bullshit and I'm shipping back out at the end of the month… Boooooooo.**

**My brother left for his college yesterday and I had to help his ass move in. A 2 hr drive to North Carolina, helping his punk ass drag his stuff into his room, ditch him there, 2 hr drive back, popped a caffeine pill, hopped into my car and headed down to my college which was an hour and 30 minutes from my house, wheeled and dealed with the housing people (And I somehow made it there 15 minutes before they closed, I'm awesome!), Drove back. Put out a chapter of Naruto: SOF. And then blacked out for 12 hours… What can I say, long ass day.**

**Alright, I'm out of here. Kenchi out.**


	51. Final Exam

Review Shoutouts

***Laaaaazzzyyyyyyy…..***

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. You got that? Good. Now let's get to the chaptery goodness that you all crave so much.

**Chapter 51: Final Exam**

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Naruto stood, still perched on top of Gamakichi as he and the two brother toads looked out at Kakuzu and two of his three remaining masks that he had manifested physical forms form, both his wind and fire ones.

Naruto kneeled down on Gamakichi's head near his ear, "Okay, those masks are manifestations of Kakuzu's elements, they keep his extra hearts. Those are fire and wind, I already destroyed his earth one, so I would say that he personally only has two elements right now, lightning and water."

Gamakichi nodded his head, but actually barely understood a damn thing that he was just told, '**Extra hearts? What the hell, does nii-san mean that he has to kill this guy more than once to win?**' Gamakichi looked over at his brother, "**Gamatatsu, you got all that?**"

Gamatatsu looked over at his brother with his usual half-lidded smile on his face, "**I sure did aniki! He's saying that those two freaky black things are just outside forms of this guy's powers. If we break those masks then Naruto-nii's enemy gets weaker and weaker and takes more of his powers away.**"

Naruto grinned at the pudgy yellow toad, "That's right Gamatatsu! I knew you were more on the ball than Gamakichi gave you credit for."

Gamakichi snorted, "**Nii-san, trust me, that was his obligatory twelve seconds of relative intelligence that he's granted every six months… Now let's do this already!**"

Naruto nodded and jumped off of Gamakichi's back to land in front of both toads, "All right. I have no clue what those masks do so stay on your toes and be ready for anything. Help me take out all of the masks and I will give you both so many snacks you'll grow another five feet before you finish them all."

The toads both widened their eyes before narrowing them and nodding in determination. Naruto rubbed his hands together and clapped them to initiate a transmutation to draw two slightly oversized tanto from the ground that fell into Gamakichi and Gamatatsu's hands. He looked back at the two of them, "The two of you do know how to use those right? You are Gamabunta's kids after all."

They both nodded and held the blades at the ready, waiting on a cue to begin fighting. A tensing of Naruto's hands was their cue to start. In a streak of black and yellow, Naruto closed the distance and bypassed the two masks to get to Kakuzu. This time, Kakuzu was prepared for how fast Naruto was and began dodging his attacks. Naruto himself was forced to break off his attack and dodge as one of the masks attempted to attack him from behind. Naruto cut off a piece of the mask's body, but it simply reassembled itself.

Gamakichi and Gamatatsu both cleaved the bodies in half as Naruto gained some distance, but once again they recovered by joining their black threads together once more. Kakuzu took advantage of the momentary separation and tried to catch Naruto off guard from behind after emerging from the ground. Naruto narrowly dodged a knife-hand strike that actually cut him across his face. Despite dodging the initial strike, Kakuzu grabbed Naruto by his shoulder using the trajectory of the whiffed attempt at a strike and pulled him in to drive a knee into Naruto's body.

The brother toads turned around abruptly at the sound of air violently leaving their summoner's lungs. Gamakichi panicked as they saw Naruto fly off of Kakuzu's knee, "**Nii-san! ****  
Suiton: Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Release: Liquid Bullet)****!**" Gamakichi fired off a jutsu in order to get Kakuzu away from Naruto so that the two toads could retake positions around him while he picked himself up.

Naruto wiped at the deep cut on his cheek from Kakuzu's attack, "Ugh. Okay, going for their bodies does absolutely nothing, attack the masks."

Kakuzu laughed cruelly, "Do you see brat? The difference between you and I just can't be measured. I'm your superior in every way. I wonder if the hearts of the toads of Mt. Myoboku are compatible with my body."

Naruto spit out blood from his internal injuries onto the ground, "And they treat jinchuuriki like me and Gaara as less than human when there are real monsters like you walking around." 'Alright, no more bullshit. If he's telling the truth and Akiza-chan is fighting some guy that's immortal then I need to hurry up and beat this guy and get over to her. Kyuubi-chan, time to turn up the heat.'

"**Alright kit, finally. It took you long enough to take the kid gloves off.**" Kyuubi basically purred from within Naruto's mindscape as she began pumping her chakra into his system.

Gamakichi and Gamatatsu looked at Naruto in surprise as Kyuubi's demonic chakra suddenly started bursting from his system. As his whisker marks became deeper and his eyes took on a slitted, red appearance his voice became more gravely, "**Okay, round one is over and done with, let's try this again Kakuzu, with feeling this time.**" Two tails of chakra came from the cloak of chakra surrounding his body.

Kakuzu chuckled, "Brat if I wasn't prepared to face a jinchuuriki that could use its demonic properties then I would be a pretty sorry member of a jinchuuriki hunting organization wouldn't I?" Kakuzu made a motion with his hand and sent out his two masks on another attack.

One of the masks spit a small fireball at the trio while the other gave it a boost with a wind attack. Gamakichi chuckled at the size and prepared for another Teppodama no Jutsu, but there was someone that could feel the true power of the attack, "**Naruto-kun get your collective asses moving now!**"

Heeding Kyuubi's warning, Naruto grabbed both toad brothers by their jackets and jumped out of the way of the fireball before Gamakichi could try to match it with his water bullet. Upon making contact with the ground where they once stood the fireball exploded in a firestorm that engulfed the immediate area, moving faster than Naruto could get the toads to go.

Kakuzu watched as the flames engulfed the three fighters and waited to hear their screams of death, "Whoops, I forgot I was supposed to bring the jinchuuriki in to leader-sama alive. Oh well, as long as Iwa can identify his corpse I can still get his bounty though."

Kakuzu's celebration was short-lived however as the raging firestorm his mask's attack created seemed to be absorbed where it had seemingly hit Naruto, Gamakichi, and Gamatatsu. The fire cleared to reveal an unharmed Naruto alongside the two toads and two Kage Bunshin, who along with Naruto, had a scrolls open in front of them. Naruto had a fanged smirk on his face, "Fuuka Houin (Fire Sealing Method)."

Naruto allowed his scrolls to absorb the last of the flames before he placed them back into his pockets and let his clones dispel, "That was pretty good. Thank Kami ero-sennin taught me that seal in case I had to fight an Uchiha or some other firebug like you."

Kakuzu growled, "A student of fuuinjutsu huh? I guess that you Uzumaki just can't help yourselves, it's got to be in your blood or something."

Naruto had been checking to see if he had managed to keep Gamakichi and Gamatatsu safe from being burned by Kakuzu when he heard him talk about his surname, "**Wait what? What about the Uzumaki?**"

Kakuzu's masks returned to his side, "When I went out to assassinate the Shodaime Hokage all of those years ago and was caught I had to fight him and his nuisance of a wife. Mito Uzumaki, that bitch was tough, even before she started using her biju's chakra."

Naruto's eyes widened, "**Wait, my clan was a real clan? My ancestor was married to the Shodaime Hokage? She was a jinchuuriki too? Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me? What, was that too much for me to know back when I was a kid?**"

Feeling his anger start to spike, Kyuubi attempted to calm him down, "**Naruto-kun, calm down and focus. You can get the details on these things later, and you shouldn't trust your enemy's words in combat either. Kakuzu is experienced and can use anything to throw you off of your game.**"

Naruto bit his left fist until he drew blood, but nodded to himself and Kyuubi that he would chill out until the fight was over. Naruto whispered in the ears of both of the toads, who nodded at their young summoner.

XxX

(With Akiza and Hidan)

"Die! Die! Die! Die!" Akiza currently had a grip on Hidan's scythe and was unloading repeated punches to the face while utilizing Iwa no Yoroi, she had quickly turned his face into bad modern art with the strength enhancement of the technique, but was still mostly wasting her time and energy, seeing as how she had smashed what had remained of his nose into his brain, far enough to kill him and he was still walking around, "Fuck! You're a fucking nuisance!"

Hidan was let go and sent flying with one kick to the face, but quickly got back to his feet, leaking life fluids from his face, but smirking at her anger over the battle, "Aww… Is the little Iwa girl getting upset over little old me? I know what will calm you down, a little trip to meet Jashin-sama!" Hidan one again sprang into attack mode with his scythe.

Akiza's Iwa no Yoroi slowed her down for the added protection, which kept her from immediately getting herself out of his range. Instead of running she stayed in close and tried to outlast his flurry of attacks, she had put up her naginata in an effort to obtain added mobility while she waited for assistance, but could feel the use of her armor wearing on her, 'Fifteen minutes left before I'm completely done… Fullmetal, get your ass in gear and finish your guy so you can get over here and help me out.'

Hidan let a bloodthirsty grin cross his face, "You seem to be slowing down! That's fantastic, the sooner I can cut you to pieces and be done with you the better, now just let me draw some blood you bitch!" Hidan finally made contact with her torso horizontally, sending her to the ground, however his grin faded as he realized that he hadn't disemboweled her or even drawn any blood from the hit.

Akiza rolled back to her feet and felt the cracks to her armor from the attack, 'Damn. It's taking a ton of chakra to sustain and keeping it as hard as I can is difficult without a decent source of hard minerals, right now my armor is glorified hardened clay since we're nowhere near anything hard.' Akiza was huffing as she looked at Hidan twirling his scythe in his hands, 'I can't let him hit me like that again or this is as good as over. My armor doesn't have that many hits in it to keep sustaining through the damage.'

Gritting her teeth she steeled her gaze on the immortal and prepared for another of his attacks.

XxX

(With Naruto and Kakuzu)

Naruto rushed at Kakuzu who let his masks run interference. Making a mass of Kage Bunshin he continued his dash forward. Naruto kept having to Kawarimi with one of his clones due to the masks cutting through his forces systematically. Narrowly avoiding another blast of wind from the wind element mask, Naruto kept pushing forward, 'Damn these things. I'm getting my ass kicked by my own element. Why his ero-sennin's lazy ass couldn't find me a waterfall to finish my training I'll never know.'

The fire element mask appeared in the middle of Naruto's army of clones and slaughtered wave after wave of them before getting punched in the mask by the original himself, 'What the hell are these black threads made of? If I knew then I could probably just break the bodies apart and-.' Naruto stopped as he realized that his blade-arm punch formed a crack on the mask, and the body that had been manifested for it to use had begun to destabilize. Naruto saw his opening and sent his clones in to attack while he retreated to Gamatatsu.

With its mobility compromised, the fire element mask had begun to be overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of Naruto's Kage Bunshin.

Landing on the yellow toad's head, Naruto patted him, "Go for it Gamatatsu, this is our shot." Gamatatsu nodded and built up pressure inside of his body while Gamakichi resolved to duel with the wind mask to keep it away.

Naruto molded wind chakra atop the head of his yellow summon while Gamatatsu's cheeks expanded massively. Naruto heard Gamatatsu mumble something that he figured was their cue and he patted him on the head, "**Fuuton: Gama Teppou (Wind Release: Toad Gun)****!**"

Gamatatsu released a massive and powerful stream of water that flew at Kakuzu's fire element mask at a high speed. Being swamped by Naruto's Kage Bunshin, the element couldn't escape the attack and was hit head on by the attack ,which jerked it savagely back through the ground, causing a trench that coincided with where it was hit. The jutsu broke the mask, taking out yet another of Kakuzu's hearts.

Kakuzu, who along with his wind element mask had been held off by Gamakichi while the other two fired the attack, felt overwhelming anger cloud his view as this young kid had destroyed another of his masks, "You little son of a bitch! No one does this to me! You've done it now, I'll mutilate you!"

Kakuzu allowed the last mask that was left on his back to manifest a body and sent it out to attack Naruto and his toad brother. Gamakichi tried to cleave Kakuzu in two to interrupt his process, but the wind mask knocked him aside. Kakuzu, seeing another chance to attack gave the order to his mask, "Finish that irksome beast! Fuuton: Atsugai (Wind Release: Pressure Damage)!"

The wind mask fired off a tornado like blast that Gamakichi barely evaded as he returned to an upright position as the attack was called out. It stayed in tornado form for a moment before expanding outward, taking the wind pressure to its highest limit and releasing a concussive blast that caught Gamakichi and sent him flying.

The toad hit the ground clutching his tanto and grunting in pain from the injuries that he suffererd.

"**Gamakichi!**" The cry from both Naruto and Gamatatsu who both moved to the downed toad's side as he struggled and failed to pick himself up to his feet. Gamatatsu was hands on trying to assist his brother who refused to stay down.

Kakuzu laughed cruelly as he sent out his lightning element mask to finish the job, "How sweet, now you can all die together! Raiton: Gian (Lightning Release: False Darkness)!" A burst of lightning came from the mask that flew at the trio.

Naruto cursed and clapped to begin a transmutation. Placing his hands on the ground, he formed a massive, thick wall that rose over fifteen feet high and went twenty feet across, a side-effect of using alchemy when tapping into Kyuubi's chakra was enhanced effect due to using a more potent natural energy as a catalyst. However this was futile as the lighting pierced straight through the rock. Naruto threw his body in the way of the attack to protect the toads and the lighting ripped straight through the upper right side of his chest.

"**Naruto-nii!**"

XxX

(With Akiza and Hidan)

Akiza moved inside of Hidan's guard and parried his scythe swing with her elbow into the pole of the weapon before Hidan sank a fist into her belly. It didn't do any damage, due to her jutsu, but it disrupted her attack. Hidan pulled his scythe back far enough to bounce the metal pole of the weapon off of her head, snapping her head back and leaving her bells ringing.

Akiza narrowly ducked a swing of the scythe only to this time catch a kick to the face that crumbled what was left of her armor, 'No... I'm almost totally out of chakra. The jutsu won't hold any longer.'

She released the rest of the jutsu as she was sent sliding back on her butt, much to Hidan's amusement, "Out of tricks aren't we little girl? Are you giving up?"

Akiza pulled herself to her feet and flipped Hidan off, "Go fuck yourself, or get your little masked buddy to do it for you. I'm not quitting and letting you take Fullmetal away from me." Her eyes lowered to the ground as she clinched her fists, "I would rather die than let you people take him…"

Hidan licked his lips, "Well now, that can be easily arranged. Come here bitch!"

Looking off in the direction that Naruto went she turned back to Hidan with a determined look in her eyes, 'This is the single worst idea that I've ever had in my entire life… Even if I do end up finishing this guy off I'll still be...- Ugh, it's too late to care now. No matter what, it should still be enough to buy me or Fullmetal time if nothing else.'

Akiza summoned her halberd one more time from the ground and cut her palm before draining her blood out onto the blade, "I can't kill you. Not as I am. Now I still think that you and your immortality are complete and utter bullshit, but the way things are going I won't hold out for any support to get here. Seeing as that you're going to kill me anyway I see no reason to not try and at least make things completely and utterly miserable for you before I go, because Fullmetal is going to eviscerate you even if I lose."

Hidan had an angry look on his face. He had been trying to get the girl to bleed for the entire battle, and then she goes and does it herself? No respect for an opponent's style I tell you.

Akiza smirked as the anger washed across Hidan's face, "Yeah, Sorry, no blood for you, this is all for Sekki Kiritateru. Do you know the best thing about weapons of legend? That only a handful of people in existence have ever known what they could do except for the wielders, and all of the past wielders are dead." Akiza made a series of one handed seals as her weapon began to pulse.

"So your stupid blade can drink your blood? Big deal, it sure isn't doing any damage to me, is it?" Hidan barked at the dark-skinned girl.

Akiza gave Hidan a pleasant smile so wide that her eyes were closed, "Do you know how many wielders my halberd has had since it was created? One. My weapon was created long before the current system of shinobi fell into place. Legend has it that the first user lived and fought in the times of the Rikudou Sennin (Sage of Six Paths). He was the guardian of the tablet that the sage left behind for his descendants."

Hidan gripped his scythe tightly as his patience was wearing thin, "Enough with the bedtime stories!"

"I'm not done yet Hidan. Please let me finish, it will make sense as to why I'm telling you this when I'm done." Speaking with an even tone, Akiza's smile stretched even further, to the point where it was starting to unnerve Hidan, "Now as I was saying, power hungry men, such as the types that comprise your organization today, tried to reach for something they had no business trifling with, namely the Rikudou Sennin's will left on Earth to the guardian's protection, and declared war on him, amassing groups of foolish and morally fiber-less men to face him down. Eventually he could no longer hold out against his enemies, and upon his death the original user cursed his blade."

Akiza showed the weapon to Hidan. The blade had turned blood red and the pole had red runes running along it, "The fool that tried to take this blade as a spoil of war went insane and slaughtered his entire band of fellow marauders before hiding the Rikudou Sennin's secrets and turning the blade on himself. This weapon chooses the user. To try and take it and use it by force will end very badly for you. Sekki Kiritateru will bend your will and tap into your most primal and bloodthirsty instincts, it will destroy your mind and leave you an empty golem, a shell only meant to kill."

Hidan smirked, "Sounds like my kind of weapon actually. I might have to take it off of your corpse when I finish you."

Akiza shook her head, "You say that like you're not the first person with that mindset. The process is actually quite painful. Those that were unworthy of this blade ended up being haunted by the voices of those who had lost their lives in the weapon's presence. Eventually they all mutilated themselves to get rid of the voices, they all had the same mark, they had cut their ears off. They then became berzerkers, roaming the land and killing anything with a heartbeat before they were finally compelled by to turn the blade on themselves. The only visible sign that anything was wrong at first were the eyes."

"You're lucky… or unlucky I should say. Not even Fullmetal or Jiraiya-sensei know anything about this. Otherwise they would have made me swear to never use it." Akiza slowly opened her eyes to reveal dead black eyes that had replaced her formerly forest green orbs, all the way through. Akiza's smile had turned into a fanged grin that revealed teeth so sharp that she accidentally cut her lip, "**This is the curse of the Rikudou Koukennin (Guardian of the Six Paths)…**"

Hidan gave her a questioning look, "Curse? What kind of dumb-ass do you take me for? The Rikudou Sennin is a myth, you're full of shi-."

Hidan was cut off by an unholy screech of attack from Akiza, who launched herself at Hidan quicker than she had ever moved until that point. Hidan lifted his scythe to block, but instead of the articulate slashes and skill moves he had been used to from her by now she charged straight at him and drove her halberd right through his chest. Hidan gasped as he found himself drowning on his own blood. Akiza continued to shriek as she kept running forward with Hidan on her blade. She eventually drove him into a boulder, cracking it with the kinetic force that she generated.

Before Hidan could even move she clawed at his face with her fingernails, actually gouging one of his eyes out. Hidan shoved her off and screamed, with blood pouring from his mouth as his optic nerves hung outside of the socket that formerly housed his eye.

Akiza crushed the eye in her hand and kicked Hidan in the groin, forcing the man to his knees. She then smashed him across his face with the pole of the halberd and began bludgeoning him with the blunt end of her halberd, caving in a part of his skull with the ferocity of her attack.

Proving how immortal he truly was, Hidan grabbed the scythe that he still had attached to the cable tied onto his person and stabbed Akiza in the side with the blade, eliciting a pained yell that backed her off a bit.

Akiza touched at the area where blood was now pouring from and watched it drip from her hands with a smile. Turning her evil black eyes to Hidan she saw him ingest the blood from his scythe and stand back to his feet, "That was vicious! If only you were a follower of Jashin-sama. Like this, the way you are now, you would have been his perfect little disciple, but now you have to die."

Hidan made a move to start some kind of seal on the ground, but berserker Akiza was on him before he could do anything.

XxX

(With Naruto and Kakuzu)

From behind the wall that had a hole punched straight through it, Naruto dropped to his back with a smoking hole in the upper right corner of his chest, charred black flesh surrounding the wound. Blood was flowing from Naruto's mouth as he rapidly sucked in breath, hyperventilating.

"**Naruto-kun! Calm down, you're going into shock! Just slow you're breathing down a little bit, let me help you or you're going to black out! Do not black out!**" Kyuubi was frantically trying to heal his wound but there was only so much she could do for the time being. All she could do right now was run damage control and make sure he didn't die out on the field. Getting back up was up to him entirely.

Gamatatsu scooped Naruto onto his back and got moving as the two remaining masks tried to press the advantage by going over the wall to finish the battle. Gamakichi was the protector while Gamatatsu and Naruto stayed away to let the blonde get some time to himself to recover from his grievous wounds.

'Gah! Son of a bitch! Fucking lightning!' Naruto thought to himself as he weakly looked behind himself and Gamatatsu to Gamakichi who was failing at keeping the masks back, 'Another tail Kyuubi-chan. I'm not going down like this and I'm not letting my summons get hurt because I can't get up and help them fight.'

Kyuubi acknowledged his request with more power as a third chakra tail sprouted from his chakra cloak, "**Gamatatsu put me down, it's not safe for you to carry me anymore, I can hurt you like this.**"

Gamatatsu wondered what he was talking about until he began to feel a burning sensation from where Naruto was on his back. He stopped moving and let Naruto slide off of his back. Naruto ripped off the rest of his bloody, tattered shirt as Gamatatsu could see his wound closing itself, slowly but surely. Gamatatsu looked over to where Gamakichi was, "**We need to go help aniki Naruto-nii.**"

Naruto nodded, "**Let's go then, he's done more than enough today, you both have.**" With that, Naruto vanished in a burst of speed and Gamatatsu hopped off to follow.

The two masks realigned with one another as Kakuzu tired of dealing with the interference of the toads. Looking at the beaten up summon he motioned his masks to come closer to him, "I'm sick of dealing with these small fry. Kill this one and let's finish up with the Kyuubi kid."

The two masks charged up their respective attacks as Gamakichi spit off to the side defiantly.

"**Gamayudan (Toad Oil Bullet)****!**" Naruto had stood back on Gamatatsu's back and channeled wind chakra through the young toad's system to enhance the jutsu

Gamakichi's eyes widened in realization as a massive glob of oil four times his size flew past his head and he made a quick series of hand seals with his webbed fingers, "**Katon: Endan (Fire Release: Flame Bullet)****!**" Gamakichi fired a fireball from his mouth that caught up with the glob of oil fired by his little brother and ignited the dangerous fluid.

All three called out the name of the collaboration attack, "**Fuuton: Gamayu Endan (Wind Release: Toad Oil Flame Bullet)****!"**

The resulting mass of fiery death came rushing at Kakuzu who quickly ordered his masks to attack, "Kill them now!"

The two masks fired their attack at once at the massive fireball, forcing a cyclone pulsing with electricity to slam headlong into the collaboration jutsu from Naruto and the toads. The attacks were destroying much of the landscape as they took up quite a bit of room each. Naruto scratched his head as he and the sons of Gamabunta waited to see the results of the clash, "**Man… We're really fucking this place all up. I hope no one lives anywhere near here.**"

Eventually the electric cyclone dissipated and the oily, wind enhanced firestorm rolled through unperturbed, engulfing Kakuzu and his masks entirely. Kakuzu let out a paint-peeling scream as his two masks were turned to ash from the intensity of the attack.

Naruto sat down in a huff as he let his chakra cloak vanish. Gamatatsu dropped to the ground, with blood coming from his mouth, "**That last jutsu we used hurt Naruto-nii.**"

Naruto looked at Gamatatsu apologetically, "I'm sorry big guy. That was all my fault, I was channeling Kyuubi-chan's chakra through you when we combined for the attack. Are you okay?"

Gamatatsu gave Naruto a weak smile, "**I'll be fine Nii-san. I'm just really tired.**" Naruto rubbed the toad on his back before walking to Gamakichi.

Gamakichi gave Naruto a high five, "**How are you doing Naruto-nii?**"

Naruto rubbed the area where Kakuzu's attack pierced his chest, "Kyuubi-chan handled most of the bad stuff. If my right arm wasn't auto-mail I wouldn't be able to move it though so I'm definitely thankful for that. You guys saved my ass out here today."

Gamakichi waved him off with a tired laugh, "**I would normally be hitting you up for something to chow on right now, but today I just want to go home and get some treatment.**"

Naruto transmuted his blade-arm back to normal, "Yeah, Gamabunta's going to lose it when he finds out that you guys helped me take down an S-ranked missing-nin."

Gamatatsu's eyes were still peeled out on the charred battlefield, "**Naruto-nii he's still alive, I can feel him out there.**"

Naruto narrowed his eyes out in the distance. Wiping himself off, he reformed his blade arm and walked slowly out into the area where Gamatatsu was looking. The two brother toads followed behind, wanting to see their first true battle out until the end.

Eventually Naruto found Kakuzu, laying on the ground, with serious burns all over his body, groaning lowly. Naruto cringed as he saw how bad it was. Kakuzu's mask had been burned onto his face from the intensity of the flames. Kakuzu chuckled through the pain, "Beaten by a snot nosed kid and his baby-faced summons. *laughs* You're one tenth of my age and experience and you handled me like a pro kid."

Naruto drew ever closer to the former Taki-nin, "I have to be good. Too many people count on me for me to be weak. Besides, it's always up to the future generations to surpass those that came before them. It was only a matter of time. You can't fight change."

Kakuzu coughed and Naruto saw his burnt mask stain red, "Your little Iwa girl… I wasn't lying when I said she was in trouble. You thought I was tough? Hidan truly is immortal. There's nothing that can kill him, and he'll keep coming for her until she's dead. Go boy."

Naruto nodded and drew his blade up high before bringing it down and severing Kakuzu's head from his shoulders. Gamakichi and Gamatatsu both gave the man a moment of silence as Naruto sealed his head inside of a scroll. Placing his ignition glove onto his hand to burn Kakuzu's body he scoffed as he realized it was in tatters. Gamakichi shrugged and used his fire jutsu to burn it himself.

Naruto turned to the two toads, "Go home guys. I can finish this myself."

They both nodded and bid Naruto farewell before disappearing back to Mt. Myoboku in a cloud of smoke. Naruto then took off to where he had last left Akiza.

XxX

(With Akiza and Hidan)

"You're one crazy bitch!" Hidan shouted with glee as he tried to keep Akiza off of him, a sharp contrast to how the fight had progressed thus far. Hidan had been trying to do something to keep Akiza off of him ever since he stabbed her in the side, but she refused to slow down her attack. "I think I like you better like this Iwa girl! Why didn't you do this from the start? We could have been having a blast!"

Hidan's question wasn't answered as Akiza's killing mindset had her stuck on taking Hidan's bowels and ripping them out with her halberd. Growling in a feral manner, Akiza swung her weapon in an effort to desperately separate something from Hidan's body.

Hidan simply stood in place and laughed as Akiza sliced into his body with her halberd again and again. After one of her slashes Akiza screamed in pain that she hadn't expected. Hidan's face simply held a superior smirk, angering the berserk female who charged forward and stabbed Hidan through his shoulder in an effort to wipe that look off of his face.

Upon piercing his shoulder Akiza shrieked and dropped her halberd, a hole similar to the one she had just given Hidan appeared on her shoulder, disabling her arm. Akiza looked at her wound and then at Hidan who had taken on a new appearance while she had been distracted. Hidan now had black skin and white markings that looked similar to a skeleton, "That little thing you have going for you isn't a curse little girl. This is _my_ curse!" Hidan pulled out a spike and held it high before driving it deep into his own thigh, grinding it deep into the muscle.

Hissing in pain with a satisfied look on his face he laughed gleefully as Akiza dropped to one knee with the identical wound that Hidan had just inflicted in himself. Akiza tried to rise to her feet to rend Hidan asunder but found herself unable to stand. Hidan found this amusing, "MY curse allows me to do damage to you by inflicting it on myself. Everything I do to myself…" Hidan dragged the spike down his arm, drawing a long cut that Akiza ended up getting on her own arm, "Happens to you too."

Akiza growled and kept trying to stand and Hidan kept stabbing himself in the legs to keep her down, "I like that spirit!" Hidan stabbed himself in the stomach to inflict more punishment on the girl. Akiza held her wounded belly and coughed up blood, still glaring at Hidan as she just couldn't get close to him anymore. Reaching into her pouch she recklessly threw a handful of shuriken that Hidan allowed to hit him head on. The sharp stars hit him all along his torso, ripping into his flesh, however as Hidan had been saying since he activated his curse, she took the exact same damage.

Hidan pulled the shuriken out of his body as he looked at the tired, beaten frame of his opponent, "It looks like I'm not going to be able to make you beg. I guess I'll just kill you now."

Akiza shakily pulled herself back up to her feet and let out one more scream before charging at Hidan to kill. Hidan lifted his spike above his head, intent on driving it into his own heart to end Akiza's life.

Before he could finish the battle he was blasted from the side with a dropkick from a blonde blur. Naruto looked down at where Hidan was standing and back up at the silver-haired immortal. Hidan slowly picked himself up, "You fucking brat. I was just about to finish my fun with your little girlfriend."

Naruto looked over at Akiza who had collapsed once again and was still trying to get to Hidan. Naruto ran to her side and held her close to his body, "Akiza-chan stop. Please." He wiped the bangs from her face and frowned at the sight of her pitch black eyes, "You gave it everything you had didn't you?"

Akiza looked up at Naruto, still trying to move. He could still see the emotion in her eyes, "**Fullmetal…**" She stroked his whisker marks with her bloody hands.

Naruto hugged her tightly and kissed her on the forehead, "Stop fighting him Akiza-chan. You can't take anymore of this, let me finish him. Please let me protect you, I made you a promise years ago, and you killing yourself out here isn't going to help me fulfill it. Everything's going to be okay."

The color came back to Akiza's eyes as she stared up at Naruto with quivering green eyes, "H-He's immortal Fullmetal. Nothing I did killed him. He just kept laughing and standing up, he's a monster." Suddenly she cried out in pain. Naruto looked around frantically for any sign of what was causing her discomfort. Blood started coming from underneath her Iwa jounin vest causing him to panic even more.

Turning around he saw Hidan driving his spike into his chest with a cruel grin on his face. Naruto's eyes flashed red as he clapped and transmuted the ground underneath Hidan, sucking him in up to his ankles and destroying his symbol of Jashin, "What the fuck is this?"

"Wow runt. Way to leave a trail to follow." Naruto turned his head to see a familiar head of white hair and red eyes walking towards him with a disgruntled look on his face, "So starting random forest fires in the middle of Hi no Kuni is the way you tell everyone that you're back? I think I liked it better when you pranked the shit out of everyone... way less collateral damage."

Naruto blinked in surprise, "Big Boss? What the fuck are you doing here?"

Jushiro kept walking, "Tsunade sent me out here to make sure you got back to Konoha in one piece. I guess from the look of you it's a good thing she did too." He stopped next to Akiza and kneeled down next to her, "Did you do this or was it the other guy?"

That brought Naruto back to the point of homicide as he looked back towards Hidan, "Take care of her Big Boss…" He formed a Kage Bunshin and left it with Akiza while he strode over to Hidan slowly with murder in his eyes. Hidan sneered at Naruto who kept his face impassive, the only thing betraying his emotions being the eyes that had red flickering in with his electric blues, "So you say you're immortal? That's very unfortunate for you."

Naruto transmuted his arm into his rifle and pointed it at Hidan's chest point blank, "Bang." Naruto blew a hole in Hidan's chest the size of a softball and was surprised when the man simply yelled in pain, "So I guess you really are."

Naruto looked over at Jushiro who nodded in understanding. He unhooked his chakram and chain from his neck and forced it to change size in order to begin carving up the landscape around Naruto, Hidan, Akiza, and himself. Naruto reached into his supply pouch and pulled out a clear ball the size of Rasengan with some kind of thick viscous fluid inside. Naruto tossed the ball in his hands a few times before smashing Hidan right in the face with the ball, shattering it and getting shards all over his face. Hidan yelled in pain and cursed Naruto's name as the fluid and blood cascaded down Hidan's body.

Naruto walked a safe distance away and pulled out a kunai. Turning back around to Hidan he started carving into the back of his own hand, "Do you want to know what I have covering you right now? It's a little something I was working on and was planning on showing to Konoha's R & D department when I got back, I'd rather test it out on you though. It's a little combination of primarily plastic polystyrene and hydrocarbon benzene. I like to call it Napalm B."

Naruto pulled out a scroll and unraveled it in front of him before making another Kage Bunshin to stand by it and moved further back. Naruto showed Hidan the back of his hand to reveal that he had carved a transmutation circle in the back of his hand, "Now then Mr. Immortal. I'm going to make you wish you weren't." With that the clone of Naruto put chakra into the scroll only to be dispelled when flames licked out from the scroll. Naruto looked at Hidan coldly before snapping his fingers and sending the flames from the scroll flying out at Hidan.

Upon making contact with Hidan the mixture on his body ignited, covering the man in flaming material that stuck to his skin. Hidan howled in agony as he cooked alive under the oppressive heat. Naruto walked over to Jushiro who had been watching the entire process while watching over Akiza, "Wow… So that's what you've been doing for so long. I want some of that when we get home. Don't hold out on me runty."

Naruto's eyes were on Akiza's unconscious body as he walked towards his brother and his lover. Jushiro and Naruto ignored the screams of agony from Hidan as he motioned for Naruto to kneel down beside him, "We need to get her to Tsunade otouto. She's in some real trouble, He pierced her lung and I can only keep draining so much fluid from it. Haku-chan only taught me enough for battlefield medicine."

Naruto nodded and gently picked Akiza up as the brothers began walking away from the scene. Hidan however wasn't done, "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU HEATHENS! JASHIN-SAMA WILL BATHE IN YOUR BLOOD!" Hidan had been burned to the bone all over his body. He was horribly burnt black over all of his body and the burning fluid still covered his frame.

Jushiro and Naruto turned around to face him once more. Naruto handed Akiza to Jushiro and walked back towards Hidan a few steps before stopping, "Ultimate Technique: Jushiro's Final Technique: Big Fucking Transmutation…" Naruto clapped and placed his hands on the edge of the marks that Jushiro had cut into the ground, a massive transmutation circle.

Hidan turned around as a massive gate emerged from the ground covered in writing from every language imaginable, "What the fuck?"

Naruto turned and walked away after taking Akiza back from Jushiro, "Goodbye immortal. I hope you enjoy your time beyond the gate."

Hidan tried to escape from where Naruto had trapped him, but the injuries to his body had destroyed any semblance of muscle that his body had on it, "What fucking gate? What the fuck are you talking about?"

Naruto turned back to Hidan over his shoulder, "The Gate of Truth you idiot. Have fun. I'm sure an immortal like you would be very much appreciated to the denizens beyond."

"What fucking denizens?"

Naruto smirked and shook his head as he and his older brother walked away, "You'll see… Come on Big Boss, let's go home."

Naruto and Jushiro vanished from sight as a creaking sound directed Hidan's attention back to the gate. Through the crack in the opening he saw countless eyes and a few mischievous grins before endless black hands latched onto his body and dragged him inside, tearing him asunder. Hidan let out curses against Naruto all the way until the gate shut itself and descended back into the ground taking with it a considerable chunk of the natural life surrounding the area.

XxX

"Leader-sama it seems that the Kyuubi **jinchuuriki defeated Hidan and Kakuzu.** What are your orders **now?**"

Ripple pattern eyes narrowed, "Leave it be for now, dispatch Deidara and Sasori to Suna to obtain the Ichibi. We will deal with the Kyuubi in due time Zetsu."

Zetsu sunk back into the ground, leaving the figure alone with his thoughts, "A fool… The boy that thinks he can go against God. Soon… very soon he will know the true meaning of pain."

* * *

**And we're done. Hope that fight was up to snuff for you all since it was my first high level fight to write in a while. I hate writing Hidan fights because there's only so much he can do without using his curse and when he does that it's pretty much fight over, I like his character, Kakuzu's too, but they weren't along for long enough to really give me a whole lot to work with. If it sucked I understand, the next time I write a fight with Akatsuki it will kick some ass.**

**Short chapter by my standards, but hey, they can't all be pushing 10K right? Well read, review and let me know what you think, pretty much just do what you do. I've got to get up for an 8 am class in the morning. **

**Kenchi out.**


	52. Return of the Alchemist

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist and right now I'm glad I don't. If I did own Naruto then I would probably have had Kisame die fighting Gai. Kishimoto had Kisame die in the most awesome way possible, by letting his own shark summons eat him. That's manly.

**Chapter 52: Return of the Alchemist**

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Naruto worriedly looked over the girl in his arms, "Big Boss, there's no way we can make it back to Konoha fast enough. We've had to stop three times already just to drain the fluid from her lungs." Akiza had lost consciousness shortly after the reunited brothers began to rush back to Konoha and in an effort to keep her alive long enough for proper treatment they had to stop multiple times.

Jushiro ran his hand through his hair as he had just finished extracting more fluid from the dark-skinned girl. He looked up at Naruto who was pacing frantically, "We're moving full speed little buddy. I don't see how we can get there any sooner. I'm surprised that you managed to get so fast, what the fuck have you been doing for these years?"

Naruto gave him a faint smile, "A little of this and that." He then looked down at Akiza and frowned, "This is getting us nowhere. We need to keep moving. She isn't dying on me out here in the middle of nowhere."

Jushiro clicked his teeth and stood back up, ready to move once more, "Alright brat, get her up and let's make tracks. We're not quitting."

Naruto scooped Akiza up bridal style once more and prepared to once again prepare to sprint down the country road of Hi no Kuni until a crackle of lightning snapped from the power lines on the side of the road, "Oh what the fuck is it now?"

Jushiro's eyes lit up, "Oh please tell me that's who I hope it is and not just a power surge…" A grin came to his face as a bolt hit the ground in front of the brothers and an electric blue outline took the form of a very familiar head of tall, gravity defiant, red hair alongside a more feminine figure, "Thank Kami! You bastards actually showed up!"

Naruto blinked at the familiar figures, "Blank? Eiko-neechan?"

Eiko's brown eyes focused on the blonde before her eyes lit up and a smile crossed her face, "Naruto-kun! You're back!" Eiko ran over to Naruto and snatched him up in a bone-crushing hug that had him standing on his toes. Eiko realized just how big Naruto was now, "Wow… You really got big didn't you? Growing up and out from what I can tell."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly as he looked over the team of his brother and his close friends. Eiko still had her brown hair out and down her back with her hitae-ate around her forehead. She now wore a battle kimono that cut off just above her knees black in color with blue bolts of lightning running along the patterning. Her swallow-blade sword (The sword with one handle and a blade at both ends) was strapped to her back. She had black shinobi sandals with black shin guards that wrapped around her shins and calves.

Blank still had his gravity defying red-hair only now he had black and silver wrap-around sunglasses on his forehead in place of his hitae-ate which was wrapped around his neck. Blank had on his flak jacket over a form fitting black shirt that was tight around the neck. He also had olive cargo pants with a series of utility belts around his waist. Instead of sandals he had on brown boots.

Naruto looked at Jushiro, as throughout all of the panic he hadn't gotten a chance to observe his brother. He was bigger, taller, had his white hair grown out some so that it ran down to his shoulder blades. He still had his flak jacket showing prominently and black pants and sandals with his hitae-ate on his head with a black strap. His chakram still hung at the ready but one thing Naruto noticed was that he now had a ring on each of his middle fingers on both hands in addition to one gold band around his ring finger. Curious.

A cough from the ground returned Naruto's attention to his lady love on the ground, "Damn it! Akiza-chan! We need to get her some help already!"

Eiko shoved Naruto aside and kneeled down by the girl's side, "What's wrong with her Naruto-kun?"

Naruto frowned, "I think she has a punctured lung. She keeps coughing and Big Boss had to stop a bunch of times already to drain her of fluid."

Eiko ran through some hand signs and ran her hands along Akiza's body, "She was very close to having her lung collapse entirely. What happened to her?"

Naruto and Jushiro looked at each other, with the older brother motioning to elaborate while Eiko planned on assisting Akiza with her injuries. Naruto sighed, "Do you guys think that there is anything that could change the way you see me?"

Blank shook his head, "Kid we already know about the Kyuubi. Your brother told us a year ago. We don't care, we basically helped raise your ass so we know the difference between you and the fox."

Eiko gave him a smile, "Please… I'm more like the den mother to you crew of psychopaths than Blank-kun's girlfriend and Jushiro-kun's teammate. You were always a good boy Naruto-kun and you're like my little brother." A cough directed her back to Akiza, "Alright, we can talk about this later. Right now we need to get this girl stable."

Blank, Naruto, and Jushiro sat to the side while Eiko unsealed a breathing apparatus from a scroll on her person, "One of you get over here and help me with this." Blank got up and ran over as Eiko set the device next to Akiza. Blank grabbed a handpump and began using the device to assist Akiza in breathing while Eiko extracted more fluid from her lungs. After using Shousen Jutsu (Mystical Palm Technique) to repair her lungs for the time being, Eiko called Naruto and Jushiro over, "Okay, she'll be fine. We still need to get her to Konoha for actual treatment, but as it is she's out of danger for the most part."

Naruto breathed a sigh of release. Picking up Akiza once more in his arms he looked at the team of older ninja. Jushiro slapped Blank on the shoulder, "I didn't know you guys were coming. Thank Kami you did though."

Blank smirked, "Well if someone would have waited after Hokage-sama told you to go find your brother we would have all gotten in gear faster."

Jushiro sweatdropped, "Not really, your jutsu can only really take one person, and that's only because Eiko is so used to your chakra."

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, how did you get here the way you did anyway? That was like Hiraishin no Jutsu (Flying Thunder God Jutsu) with the way you just showed up out of nowhere."

Blank gave Naruto a toothy grin as they all started running back to Konoha, "Not really kid. That was one of my elite family techniques, Raiton: Denryuu Suiei (Lightning Release: Electric Current Swimming). It lets me use transport myself through anything with an electric current. I used the telegraph lines to get here quickly."

Naruto went wide eyed, "That's awesome. I bet you scare the hell out of some people like that huh?"

Blank laughed, "Yeah, Hokage-sama actually hit me one time when I came out of her desk lamp to report on a mission to her." He rubbed a phantom pain on his jaw, "I'm never doing that again…"

Naruto chuckled, "So what rank are you all now?"

Blank pointed at himself, "Jounin."

Eiko smiled sheepishly, "Chunin… Tsunade-sama's medical-ninja training took up way too much time for me to get promoted."

Jushiro smirked, "Jounin, it looks like I outrank you again brat!" Jushiro was then hit in the face with a small book. Jushiro read through it while running and almost stumbled and fell, "What the fuck? When the fuck did you get updated in this thing?"

Naruto grinned in victory while Eiko and Blank moved to look at what he was reading about.

Name/Alias: **Naruto Uzumaki (a.k.a. The Fullmetal Alchemist. The Jinchuuriki Slayer.)**

Official Rank: **Chunin**

Height: **5'11. **Weight: **169 lbs. ** Eye Color: **Blue.** Hair Color: **Blonde.** Noticeable Traits: **Three whisker-like markings on both cheeks, An operational right arm made of metal (Auto-mail)**

Threat Level: **S-Rank (Avoid Direct Combat)**

Village Affiliation: **Konohagakure no Sato**

Age: **15**

Known Techniques/Specialties: **Alchemy(?), Rasengan, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Kuchiyose no Jutsu, fuuinjutsu, is rumored to be dabbling in seal-less jutsu.**

Bounty: **100,000,000 ryo (Iwagakure). 25,000,000 ryo (Otogakure)**

Notable Associates: **Jiraiya, Mei Terumi, Tsunade, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Kakashi Hatake, Jushiro Moyomoto, Zabuza Momochi**

Summary: **The youngest entry into the Bingo Book in almost ten years, Naruto Uzumaki is notably trained by Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin as noted by the demonstration of his Rasengan. The use of this jutsu and the appearance of the boy in addition to the village of affiliation have given rise to many rumors of his heritage, most vehemently in Iwagakure. If planning to go after this mark be warned, take every precaution to avoid an outright battle with him. Every recorded battle involving this boy has involved massive shifts in landscape. Misdirection and stealth are your best bets when in conflict with this boy. If discovered and forced to engage in direct battle, disengage immediately. His high levels of chakra, coupled with his strength, speed, and stamina make for a dangerous foe to engage in a battle of attrition. **

**Alongside his 'brother', the Armory Alchemist Jushiro Moyomoto, The two are known collectively after their promotions at the Chunin Exams as the Men of Low Moral Fiber and are known to have brought down ex-Seven Swordsman Raiga Kurosuki and a high level associate of Zabuza Momochi as genin, an example of both their skill and of their teamwork alongside one another. When confronted with both brothers it would be wise to either run, or beg for your life. Naruto's personality is known to be sarcastic, confident to the extent of cockiness, and loyal to a fault. **

At the top corner of the page there was a picture of Naruto after his fight with Yugito.

The three older ninja looked at Naruto who was grinning stupidly, Motioning with his head to the girl in his arms he spoke up, "She's in there too just so you know."

Blank and Eiko looked at each other before she asked him a question, "What in Kami's name did you do to get 100 million put on your head, blow up a village?"

Naruto shifted Akiza in his arms as he made eye contact with Eiko, "Not quite… More like he threatened me and I told him off in so many words in addition to more or less seducing a jounin level ninja into leaving his village and in the process taking a weapon on the level of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist's swords away."

Blank stifled a laugh, "Which ninja?"

Naruto nodded down, "This pretty little thing in my arms here. This is Akiza Tamagawa and her weapon is Sekki Kiritateru. She had to kill me or she couldn't go home, which wasn't much of a home in the first place. And by the way Big Boss, this is the girl that attacked me back in Resembool when you and Haku-chan went to the capital."

Eiko looked suspiciously at the girl he was carrying, "Then why is she here and why are you helping her? You just told us she had a mission to kill you."

Naruto smiled, "Because after the second time we fought she had two years to kill me and plenty of chances. I trust her more than anyone in the world, and I promised her I would protect her, part of that entails bringing her to Konoha so that she can live there."

Jushiro looked skeptical, "I don't know little buddy. You're talking about having some serious big-league stroke upstairs to get this girl into the village."

Naruto scoffed, "Yeah, like just about the same amount that it took to get a Kiri nuke-nin and his apprentice amnesty in Konoha. Oh wait, I did that too didn't I? You probably fucked the evidence of that last night."

Jushiro stared off into space with a happy sigh, "You've got that right brat…"

Naruto shook his head and continued with the three on towards Konoha.

XxX

(Gates of Konohagakure not Sato)

Bypassing the front gate procedures the four Konoha ninja rushed towards the hospital. Jushiro looked over at Blank, "Blank go on ahead if you will."

Blank nodded and allowed electricity to flow from his body, turning his eyes a white-blue color before he entered the power lines in a mass of electricity. Jushiro then turned to Eiko, "I need you to stay with us, you're the only one that can really tell them what's wrong once we're in there and I'm sure the brat trusts you with her."

Naruto nodded in confirmation as the three remaining ninja made it to the hospital in record time. Jushiro rammed the doors open followed by his little brother and Eiko, "Yeah we have someone really hurt here."

Eiko took over, "We need to prepare for surgery, this girl needs work on her lungs, a series of puncture wounds have her leaking fluid into them and choking."

In a blur of words, personnel flying about, and equipment every which way Akiza was taken by Eiko and a few other doctors for treatment. Naruto's wounds were easily treatable as other than a burn on his chest and back Kakuzu's lightning that pierced him clean through there was nothing really needed to work on, and even then there were just burns that needed treatment. After being worked on he dropped down in a nearby waiting chair and ran his hand across his brow, "*sigh* Do you think she'll be okay?"

Jushiro planted a hand on his little brother's shoulder, "Eiko said she'll be fine and that means everything is going to be okay. What a way to say hey to your big brother after almost three years huh?"

Naruto rolled his eyes and let a small smile cross his face, "I would say that it's good to be back, but it would be inappropriate and a flat-out lie if I did."

Jushiro nodded and sat down in an adjacent chair, "So, care to tell what exactly you've been up to for the past few years? I only know about one thing, hell everyone only knows about one thing."

Naruto leaned back in his chair and placed his cool metal hand on his forehead. He thought for a moment before he shook his head no, "I'll wait until Tsunade-baachan shows up and then I'll tell since I'm not repeating this stuff twice."

Minutes had passed and Naruto had taken out his notes on his work-in-progress seal. Jushiro peered at his notes and whistled lowly, "Is it just me or is that some complicated looking crap?"

Naruto grinned, "Yeah it is. If I can finish this seal then you will officially have to bow down and declare me your superior. Too bad I'm on a road block."

Jushiro looked over his footnotes and snapped his widened eyes up to meet Naruto's face, "No…"

Naruto's grin could have split his face, "Yes…"

"Oh no…"

"Oh yes!"

Jushiro tapped the paper with his pointer finger, "Are you insane? The day you pull this off they'll be comparing you to the Yondaime!"

Naruto put his notes up, "That was the general idea. What better way to prove myself a seal master than to show how bad-ass I am by making a seal like this. It's going to be legendary… once I can figure out how to get past fifteen feet in the air and keep it from wasting so much chakra."

Jushiro slumped back in his chair, "Great… You know it's going to be kind of an empty achievement to outrank you if you can come up with stuff like this and kick my ass."

Naruto patted Jushiro's shoulder, "Oh Big Boss don't worry about it… You won't be outranking me for very long."

"Brat!"

The attention of both boys was captured by a buxom blonde woman being followed by her black-haired assistant. Naruto smiled and rose to his feet, "Yo Tsunade-baachan!" As the woman lifted her fist to launch at the teen he grabbed the pig in Shizune's arms, "Tonton-shield!"

Tsunade lowered her fist and took the pig away from Naruto, returning it to Shizune before noticing the changes that Naruto had gone through since his departure. Looking up at him she used her hand to measure his height, "Wow brat. You certainly grew out of your runt stage didn't you?" She smiled as Naruto pouted before ruffling his hair, "It's good to see you again."

Naruto returned her smile before looking back at the room Akiza had been taken into. Tsunade was informed by Blank where Naruto was and why he was there so she understood, "Eiko is one of the best Naruto, this girl you brought here will be fine. Now since the pervert didn't accompany you back I need to hear a report on what you've been doing for all of these years."

Naruto nodded, "As long as I can get news on when I can see Akiza-chan the second she comes out of there."

Tsunade nodded and turned to Shizune who went off to set it up, "Now come on, we'll be told when your little girlfriend wakes up." Tsunade tried to get under Naruto's skin by teasing him about Akiza, but his reaction kind of took the wind out of her sails.

"That's fine. Let's go, I need to keep my mind off of what happened to Akiza-chan." Naruto began walking out of the hospital set on heading towards the Hokage Tower.

XxX

Naruto, Jushiro, Tsunade, and Shizune were seated inside of Tsunade's office, "Okay, let's just get this on the road." Tsunade started the conversation.

Naruto shrugged as the blonde woman sat in silence to think of her first question, "So where is that idiot Jiraiya?"

Naruto shook his head, "I don't know. He ditched us when we entered the country, 'research' I would guess. We haven't seen him in about a week."

Shizune noticed Naruto's tone and saw that he was nervous about something, "Naruto-kun who is that girl you brought with you in the hospital."

Naruto looked at Shizune and then at Tsunade, both were curious about her, "She's been my companion for the last two years. She's a jounin-level ninja from Iwagakure, she was the one that tried to kill me right before I went on the training trip, it was in the report. But anyway, it turned out that she was pretty much cast out and told to either kill me or die trying."

Tsunade looked a little angry, "And you let her stay with you for two and a half years? What's wrong with you? She could have killed you!"

Naruto hardened his glance on Tsunade, "Well then she should have had thousands of chances to do it. She's saved my life at the risk of her own. We've been traveling together ever since her second and last attempt in Cha no Kuni."

Tsunade kept an even gaze on the boy, "Timeline?"

Naruto didn't flinch, "Right after end of the rebellion in Mizu no Kuni, right before Ero-sennin found me and actually started training me, like two weeks beforehand… actually I think that might be where Ero-sennin went, why, I can't tell you."

Shizune's eyes widened when she remembered the rumors of his involvement in the rebellion, "So… It's really true? What you did, defeating the last Mizukage…"

Naruto nodded, "I don't think he was himself though. He seemed nice if not a very depraved little man, it was like his mind was elsewhere the entire time. I would have been killed if Mei-chan wasn't there so don't look too much into it."

Jushiro ruffled his hair, "You still beat a kage you bastard, don't be so modest. Shout it from the rooftops!"

Tsunade smiled slightly, "So continue. The girl."

Naruto cleared his throat, "Ero-sennin took it upon himself to train both of us during the two years. I was trained in fuuinjutsu mostly, by the time we were done he started me on nature manipulation. I let Kyuubi-chan do stuff to my body composition and that's why I'm so big and stuff now, it also helped a ton when it came to getting faster and stronger. I would say I might be as strong as Tsunade-baachan is right now."

Jushiro and Shizune's eyes widened, "Kyuubi-chan?"

Naruto grinned sheepishly, "Oh yeah, you guys didn't know that I'm on good terms with the Kyuubi, and that she's a she. Well she is." His grin dropped, "Well anyway, after our training time was over he made me fight Yugito Nii in Kumo. I kicked her ass and then the Tsuchikage put a bounty on Akiza-chan and then we left to come home."

Jushiro leaned back in his chair, "And that leads us to the scene of the Fourth Great Ninja War battlefield that I found the two on."

Naruto rolled his eyes at Jushiro's sarcasm, "Yeah, getting to that. On the way home we were confronted by two of Akatsuki after Ero-sennin left us to our own devices. Hidan and Kakuzu, ring any bells?"

Jushiro flipped through the bingo book from earlier and set it in front of Tsunade on the page. She looked at the pages and back up at Naruto, "You beat them?"

Naruto nodded and pointed to the page that was on Kakuzu, "Apparently this guy fought the Shodaime Hokage and his wife, named Mito Uzumaki. Is there something that you would like to tell me before I have to start asking?"

Tsunade massaged her temple, "Okay Naruto. Yes, Mito Uzumaki was my grandmother."

Naruto looked at her expectantly, "And?"

Tsunade continued, "You are something like a distant cousin."

Naruto's eye twitched, "So I had actual family somewhere in the f'ing world and until I personally tracked you down, for a completely separate reason mind you, the only family I had was a rag-tag band made up of an heir of a clan that fell from grace in another country, a girl from a civilian family, and a 'brother' that I only met because he saved me after I got my arm cleaved off."

Jushiro pouted in his seat, "Well sorry for being your consolation prize runt…"

Naruto waved him off, "You know what I mean Big Boss. Why didn't you tell me we were really related when we first met? Now I really have just cause to call you baa-chan. As a matter of fact, you can't ever hit me again for saying it because it's true for the most part."

Jushiro chuckled from his seat, "Alright, grill your grandma later kid, finish the story."

Naruto shrugged, "There's not much else to say. I killed Kakuzu, I went and found Akiza-chan using some new power and fighting Hidan. She was losing when I stepped in and then Big Boss showed up, and now Hidan's getting the bad touch beyond the gate."

Tsunade gave him a dull look, "So you beat two S-ranked missing ninja and simultaneously dropped the numbers of Akatsuki in one fell swoop."

Naruto gave her a cheesy grin, "Come on Tsunade-baachan, you say it like you don't believe me. I can't prove that Hidan is gone for good except for mine and Big Boss's word, but I can prove the other." Naruto pulled out a scroll and in a puff of smoke the masked disembodied head of Kakuzu dropped onto the desk.

Shizune shrieked and Tsunade's eye twitched at the head on her desk, "Brat… You just dropped that thing all over my finished paperwork…"

Naruto waved it off, "Oh whatever, with Kage Bunshin you can re-do it in no time."

Tsunade snapped to attention and grabbed Naruto by his collar, lifting the now taller boy off of the ground, "You little bastard, you never gave me the secret to paperwork! Are you telling me that was it the entire time?"

Naruto kept his face calm except for a small smirk on his face as he made his cross seal and a replica of himself poofed into existence, "You do know how to do this right?"

Tsunade lowered Naruto and turned back to her desk, "Shizune please take the proof of Naruto's victory over Kakuzu and send a message to have him receive his bounty money." Tsunade made two Kage Bunshin and set them to cleaning off her desk and getting to work on her papers.

At that moment a familiar old man walked into the room with a smile on his face, "Naruto-kun! So it seems you are back in the village after all! Look at you, you're so big now."

Naruto grinned and gave the old man a hug, "Hey Sarutobi-jiji. I missed you old man."

Tsunade turned to Hiruzen with a dangerous gleam in her eye, "Sensei. Naruto here has let me in on a little something that I found quite interesting. You mean to tell me that I had to wait for the brat to tell me that I could use Kage Bunshin to do this useless crap instead of me?"

Naruto and Hiruzen blinked until Naruto turned to the old Hokage, "Jiji, you're tough right? You can take this one."

Jushiro laughed from the side, "Wait, haven't you been the one training to beat S-ranked missing-ninja for the last couple of years? He's a retired old man right now."

Naruto tried to wriggle out of Hiruzen's now iron grip, but if he was to face Tsunade's wrath for all of the laughs he had been getting at her expense for the last three years he wasn't going down by himself, "This is all a part of being a Hokage Naruto, facing down your fears and danger head on."

Naruto kicked to get the surprisingly strong old man to let go of him, "I just got through beating two S-ranked missing-nin jiji, let me go, I don't feel like taking another ass-kicking right now!"

Naruto made a few hand-signs and in a puff of smoke Hiruzen ended up holding a pig with a jacket on. Hiruzen blinked and looked at Tonton before noticing that Naruto was nowhere to be found. A burst of killing intent forced him to face Tsunade, "Now Tsunade, don't be so aggressive about this. Consider it a learning experience." Tsunade cracked her knuckles, "Probation?"

XxX

Naruto had returned to the hospital and found that Akiza was out of surgery. As he sat in the girl's room in a chair next to her bed he picked at the bandage on his chest, "I need a damn shirt to put on…"

As he reached in his pocket for the scroll he had clothes sealed in the door to the room opened and a girl with pink hair walked in. Naruto immediately knew who it was and decided to stay silent as her view was obscured by her clipboard. Naruto watched her check things off on her board. Eventually he was tired of her being all professional, "Sakura. Look at me already damn it."

She lowered her clipboard and moved her eyes toward him, widening once they locked onto him, "N-Naruto?"

Naruto grinned and nodded, "Oh yeah. The one and only. How ya doin pinky?" Sakura ran over and gave Naruto a hug, "Wow, I didn't think you missed me that much Sakura. How have you been?"

Sakura pulled away from him and smiled pleasantly, "Wow. It's good to see you Naruto. You really grew up. Um, what are you doing here though?"

Naruto pointed at the unconscious Akiza, "I brought her in. She's with me and she's going to be living here in Konoha as soon as I can get it straightened out." Naruto ignored the look of disbelief on her face and changed the subject, "So what have you been up to for the past few years Sakura? You work in the hospital now?"

Sakura kept the information on Akiza in the back of her head, "Yes. I became a trained medical ninja after you left. I couldn't let myself be the only one that was useless on our team."

Naruto frowned and thumped her on the head, "Damn it, enough with the useless crap. I told you if it bothered you that much to train and fix it, from what you're saying you did that and then some, now tell me how you've been damn it."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Same old Naruto I guess, blunt as a fence post. So who is this?"

Naruto looked over at Akiza and back to Sakura, "She's a former Iwa-nin that is now my partner… to say the least." He mumbled the last part under his breath, "Anyway, she got hurt helping me fight on the way back here and there's no way I'm leaving until she wakes up and tells me she's okay."

"I'm okay Fullmetal." Both Konoha ninja turned to see Akiza awake and smiling weakly at Naruto, "Geez, it's your first day back and you're going to spend it sitting by my bedside until I can get up? Go do something already."

Naruto chuckeld and held her hand, "No can do Akiza-chan. I'm going to show you around this place when you're all good to go and I'm not letting you on your own until then, understood?"

Sakura sighed, "Naruto, you can't stay here all night. You have to go home at some point when visiting hours are over."

Naruto moaned, "But Sakura… I don't want to go home. Not to my home anyway because chances are Haku-chan and Big Boss probably used my bed for sideway shenanigans a million times while I was gone."

"Bullshit." They all turned to see Jushiro walking in, "We didn't use your bed a million times, there weren't a million days in the last few years to use. We only did shenanigans in your bed maybe a hundred times."

Naruto palmed his face, "Wow, you make it sound like it's so much better."

Akiza's eye twitched, "You are a disgusting person. And you're his brother? Fullmetal you better burn that bed when you go home and buy another one."

Jushiro grinned at Akiza, "Ah, we haven't been properly introduced due to you losing copious amounts of blood and blacking out on us. I am Jushiro Moyomoto, that guy's brother." He finished while pointing at Naruto, "You seem to be way too good looking to be hanging out with this kid."

Akiza and Sakura giggled while Naruto fumed, "Fuck you Big Boss… I have game."

Akiza pulled Naruto in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Well he kind of grows on you. Pretty quickly too."

Sakura raised a delicate eyebrow, "So you're his…" She trailed off.

Akiza looked away somewhat bashfully, "Well I sure hope so… especially after what we did." She finished while looking away.

Naruto nodded, "Too damn perceptive for your own good Sakura. Yes she is."

Sakura sweatdropped, "But Naruto what about-." That was as far as she got as Jushiro had grabbed her and taken her outside the room, "Jushiro what the hell?" Sakura hissed at him.

Jushiro had a look of unmitigated glee on his face, "Oh no you don't. I've been waiting for a shot at the little blonde bastard for three years now and then this little scenario falls into my lap. If you warn him of the forthcoming shitstorm that soon awaits him I will make your life miserable do you understand me? I don't ask for much from the people around me but you will give me this, if you or anyone in the know, warns him about you-know-what then I will torment you with every bit of vicious, violent, depraved, devil-ass mental torture that I can muster and deliver to your doorstep. Do you understand me pinky?" There was an insane spark in his red eyes that gave her chills.

Sakura could only nod dumbly, Naruto's brother… Well Naruto had to get the crazy from somewhere right?

Jushiro smiled and patted the medic on the shoulder, "Good, now let's go back in." They re-entered to see Akiza running her hands over where Naruto was bandaged, "WE interrupting something?"

Akiza blushed while Naruto shrugged, "Akiza-chan didn't know I got hurt during my fight and seeing the bandages scared her a bit, that's all."

Jushiro pouted, "Spoilsport. You could at least get flustered like your girl there."

Sakura interrupted in order to run a scan of Akiza, "Wow. Eiko really did a good job fixing you up on the spot. After the surgery there isn't much that I can say is wrong with you. We still need to keep you at least overnight though."

Naruto groaned, "Come on Sakura, can't I take her home already? I'll carry her and everything, you know I hate hospitals."

Sakura growled at Naruto, "Naruto, she isn't some kind of juggernaut of human nature like you. She's a regular woman and regular people need recovery time."

Jushiro chimed in, "Well we have Haku-chan at home, she's supposed to be as good as you at this stuff. How about that?"

Sakura's eye twitched as the two brothers tried to blind her with gleaming smiles until she sighed, "Fine… If Haku is home and can keep an eye on her then it should be okay. No strenuous activities okay?"

Jushiro grinned widely, "You hear that brat? You can't break your girlfriend in tonight in your old room, you have to wait for the okay alright?"

Naruto growled at Jushiro and transmuted his arm into rifle form, "Die Big Boss!"

Jushiro laughed maniacally as he was chased out of the hospital by a frothing Naruto, "Kami, I've missed this… And now I have the kid and his little girlfriend to embarrass in public. I always wanted a little sister to mentally torment."

XxX

"Haku-chan I'm home!"

Haku was in the kitchen smiling serenely as she worked on dinner when she heard Jushiro enter the apartment. She had grown somewhat now standing 5'5 and filling out her figure even moreso than in the past. Haku was currently wearing a silver yukata with dark floral print on it with a black obi, "Welcome home Jushiro-kun. That was a very short mission."

"Yeah I know. I can't say it wasn't fruitful though." Footsteps rang out and the sound of someone sitting on the couch was heard, "Oi! Runt what are you doing? Put her in your room not on the couch."

"Big Boss there is no way in hell that I'm putting her on the bed where you and Haku-chan carried out your carnal shenanigans."

A new voice was heard, "Okay can everybody just stop saying shenanigans now? You're both grown men and I haven't even heard anyone use that word in years, yet this is the seventh time I've heard it in three hours."

Haku turned and came face to face with a familiar whiskered face, "Smells good Haku-chan, you're still cooking for this lug I see."

"Naruto-kun!" Haku wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug, "You're finally back in Konoha! Why didn't anyone say that you were here?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Well on the way back I ran into some shenanigans." He was interrupted by a magazine to the back of the head, "Oi!"

Akiza was laying on the couch with an annoyed look on her face and her arm extended from her throw, "The next person that says shenanigans is getting stabbed."

Naruto grinned and shouted down the hallway, "Hey Big Boss. What's that restaurant that you liked taking Haku-chan to back before I left? What was it? Hijinks? Ludicricy?"

Jushiro yelled back down the hall from his room, "What? You mean Shenanigans? I fucking love that place runt! Are we going tonight? I thought Haku-chan was cooking."

Naruto grinned at his Iwa-born girlfriend, "Oops, it looks like you're going to have to stab Big Boss."

Haku noticed the girl sitting on the couch of her home, "Naruto-kun who is this girl. Is she a friend of yours?"

"-With benefits and then some!" Jushiro yelled down the hall.

Naruto stomped down the hall to initiate the first physical conflict with Jushiro since his return while Haku walked over to the dark skinned female in her home and smiled at her while extending her hand, "Hello my name is Haku Momochi. I'm Jushiro-kun's fiancée."

Akiza smile back at the older woman with the calming presence, "I'm Akiza Tamagawa. I'm Fullmetal's partner and I guess I'm his girlfriend too." Laughing nervously with a blush on her cheeks she turned away sheepishly, "It's still kind of strange to say that to other people."

Haku walked around the couch and back to the kitchen, "Well I hope you enjoy living here. I'm sure you'll love it."

"Runt what the fuck are doing? Stop writing on my goddamn wall!"

"There's no way that I'm going to be listening to you and Haku-chan's cries of passionless passion when I can do something about it. Taste the power of fuuinjutsu bitch!"

Haku and Akiza sweatdropped. The newest resident of the apartment pointed down the hall where the two were fighting, "Is that going to happen a lot?"

Haku nodded, "I'm afraid so. Welcome home Akiza-chan."

XxX

Naruto wiped his brow, "There. A new, fresh, jizz-free bed that doesn't have the suspicious suspicions of sex with between my brother and sister-in-law on it."

Akiza clapped from her place in Naruto's room in an office chair, "Well done Fullmetal, it only took you three hours to put up completely."

Naruto huffed and glared over his shoulder, "I could have left you on the couch you know. For someone with nowhere to go you sure talk a lot of shit."

Akiza batted her eyelashes at Naruto, "Oh you know you're so used to my presence in bed that you couldn't get to sleep tonight without me laying next to you."

Naruto chuckled amusedly, "You mean laying on me. You always end up right on my chest every single time. It's kind of cute actually."

Akiza turned away from Naruto and looked out of the window, "As if. You know good and well that the last thing you can label me as is 'cute' Fullmetal. Cute isn't even in my personal description."

Naruto picked Akiza up and sat her on his lap on the bed, "Maybe you're right. You're not cute, not anymore, you're a year past cute." Before Akiza could begin to curse him out he silenced her with his mouth over hers. Akiza blinked at him blankly when the kiss ceased, "You're beautiful Akiza-chan."

Akiza smirked and kissed Naruto again, "Don't say such things Fullmetal. You can't sweet-talk me so easily."

Naruto snapped his fingers and stomped on the ground, "Damn, I was banking on the sweet-talk." Akiza bopped him lightly on the head and pulled him in for another kiss.

XxX

Jushiro, Kakashi, Zabuza, Asuma, and Gai were seated around a table in Zabuza's apartment playing a game of poker.

Zabuza whistled as he looked at the marked out pages in the bingo book, "He beat Kakuzu? That guy had been in there so long I just thought he was an urban legend."

Kakashi spoke next, "Well Sakura was ecstatic to tell me that he was back. I think Sasuke was pleased too from the way he left the training field after she told us. I wonder how powerful Naruto really is now. Jushiro you said he was working on something with his fuuinjutsu?"

Jushiro shook his head and chuckled, "If he can finish that damn thing he'll be nigh unstoppable. I know alchemy and reading those notes that he showed me in the hospital gave me a headache… Oh man, if he actually does become Hokage he'll be my boss won't he? Does, does that mean I'll have to call _him_ Big Boss instead?" Jushiro slumped over the table, "Oh Kami, don't tell me that. I don't think I could take it."

Gai stood up abruptly, knocking his chair over backwards, "Yosh! Naruto-kun has come back as youthful as ever! I cannot wait for my team to test their flames against him, maybe I can test my own against him?"

All of the other jounin looked at each other until Jushiro spoke up, "Uh yeah… Hey Gai, we're out of beer. Can you go and grab us some? Kakashi bets that you can't run around the neighborhood four times, get a 24-pack, and make it back here in ten minutes."

Gai's eyes gleamed, "Is this true Kakashi?"

Kakashi looked up from his cards, barely paying attention, "Huh? Oh, yeah, whatever Gai."

"Then it is a challenge that I shall not fail. Rest assured my youthful comrades, I will be back momentarily!" Gai opened the door to Zabuza's apartment and closed it before taking off in a sprint.

Asuma chuckled, "I can't even remember the last time one of us other than Gai went for a beer run. What did we do without you coming to these things kid?"

Jushiro laughed as he looked at the absent Gai's hand, "I don't know. I wasn't here remember?" Jushiro got an evil look on his face, "You guys want to kill some time before Gai gets back?" The other jounin all nodded, "Then follow me."

They all followed Jushiro into Zabuza's living room as Jushiro walked along one of the walls, placing his ear against it, "Where is it? Here? Nope. Ah, here we go, right here." Jushiro pulled a transmutation slip from his pocket and held it up, "Behold!" He then forcefully slapped it onto the wall as a bright glow came from the wall.

"Big Boss what the fuck?"

"Fullmetal what's happening?"

Jushiro gestured through the hole in a grand fashion, "Behold! The kid is no longer a virgin! I knew he had it in him! Didn't Sakura tell you not to attempt anything strenuous tonight?"

The jounin all burst out in laughter and applause. Zabuza fell back on his couch in laughter, "It looks like it's in her right now white-haired brat."

Naruto growled while Akiza covered up with a red face. The only thing keeping Naruto from jumping out of his bed and violently assaulting Jushiro and/or the rest of the jounin was the fact that he was absolutely naked under the sheets and he couldn't remember where he had put his underwear.

Meanwhile the rest of the jounin were still laughing their asses off at the expense of the blonde alchemist.

"Yosh! I have returned with our youthful adult refreshments and all well within the allotted time limit!"

Naruto's eyes widened just as Jushiro's brightened at the sound of the boisterous green-clad taijutsu master. Gai opened the door carrying a 24-pack of beer, "What are you all doing standing in the living room my comrades?"

Jushiro moved from where his body was blocking the view of his hole in the wall, "Gai, Naruto was just asking us how he could exude more youth with his female companion here. It's a good thing you showed up when you did."

Naruto let out a silent scream that gave Jushiro a most satisfied feeling. Jushiro moved closer to his brother and whispered to him, "I never forgot and I never forgave and now you will experience my hell. Enjoy your most _youthful_ evening otouto." Jushiro moved aside to reveal Gai standing over him with a smile on his face.

Naruto opened his mouth to speak but was cut off, "Naruto-kun! You have yourself a stunning young lady! Well if you require knowledge on how to properly show how bright your flames burn for your lover then rest assured I will educate you just as I did for your brother and his own years ago!"

Jushiro took this time to seal the wall up, laughing the entire time. Turning around he faced the other jounin with a huge grin, "Well?"

Asuma was laughing with smoke coming out of his mouth from the sides of his cigarette, "You're an evil, evil man do you know that?"

Zabuza had removed the bandages from his mouth in an effort to breath better while laughing his ass off, "You do know that he's going to utterly destroy you now after Gai finally leaves them alone don't you?"

Jushiro waved him off and grabbed one of the beers that Gai had brought them, popping the tab as he spoke, "This is just the beginning. I've been waiting for my chance for three years. If you only knew how miserable he made me and your daughter when we first started dating. I'm going to run this straight into the ground as hard as I can."

Zabuza kept laughing until Kakashi spoke up, "Hey. What did Gai mean when he said that he was going to educate Naruto like he did with you and your girlfriend anyway?"

Zabuza and Jushiro stopped laughing and looked at each other as Zabuza started radiating killing intent at the white-haired alchemist. Jushiro pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Kakashi, you bastard… Why would that be the point of the rant that you took notice of?" Jushiro slowly started backing out of Zabuza's aparetment, "Now Zabuza… It was three years ago. I'm your son-in-law now, right dad?"

Zabuza gave Jushiro a crazed shark toothed grin, "Yes, and I'm alright with what you two do now, you're both adults. However back then you still weren't good enough for my Haku, you were both fifteen, and you exposed her to Gai!" Zabuza pulled Kubikiri Hocho from seemingly nowhere and chased Jushiro out of the apartment.

Jushiro's cries rang out in the night, "I thought we were done with this back when I proposed to her in the first place!"

Kakashi sighed and began to pick up the place, "Well, now that both of those kids are back I can only imagine what things are going to be like now. Can we afford all of the property damage?"

"For the sake of my sex-drive Gai, please! Shut the hell up!"

* * *

**I'm getting annoyed with the lack of quality updates out and about these days. Nothing else to say, I'll have to start kicking out chapters of everything faster to make me feel better and like I'm doing the rest of you a service by being so awesome and posting so fast. Alright, enough attempting and failing to pat myself on the back, I've got shit to do in the morning.**

**Later my peepulation.**

**Kenchi out.**


	53. Too Old For This

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Shocking, I know, however it is the truth. If you would like to remedy this please feel free to send me all of your hard earned cash and I'm sure with your help I can make one of the creators an offer that they can't refuse.

**Chapter 53: …Too Old For This %#$**

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Akiza and Naruto were standing in the middle of a training field early in the morning. Naruto seemed ecstatic about something, Akiza on the other hand just looked sleepy, like she would rather be back at home curled up in bed, "Alright Fullmetal. What is so important that you had to drag me out of bed at 5 in the morning? Answer correctly please." She stated with her eyebrow twitching.

Naruto's grin was almost splitting his face, "How about the next step in my seal working?"

Akiza blinked blankly, "Okay, that's great and all, but tell me why that couldn't have waited until AFTER I WOKE UP AND GOT MY BEARINGS FOR THE DAY!" She finished, giving Naruto a flashback to Bighead no Jutsu, "I was content Fullmetal. For once I wasn't sleeping on your auto-mail arm. I got your real one" She said, pouting.

Naruto rolled his left shoulder, "I know, I woke up with it asleep. But anyway, I just thought of it! I had to apply it as fast as I could to see if the idea had any merit."

Akiza gestured lucidly, "Well then… Go ahead and do it. You've gotten me up already. Show me your idea so we can go get breakfast and do something today."

Naruto made a half-tiger seal as he burst from the ground with wind chakra pushing from his shoes. Akiza rolled her eyes, "I know you can do that, you were complaining that you couldn't go any higher than ten or fifteen feet."

Naruto smirked while in mid-air and rolled through the inu, ushi, and uma hand seals. Akiza looked at him in confusion until a flash of seal arrays appeared on the soles of his sandals as a cloud formed on his feet. Naruto then dropped to the ground and gave Akiza a pleased look, "Well?"

Akiza pointed lamely at the cloud hanging in the air, "You made a cloud."

Naruto grinned, "Yep! A combination of the wind producing seal, a weak water seal, a low heat array, and a slightly stronger, but still generally weak freezing array. It's an amazing breakthrough!"

Akiza's finger still stayed stuck at the man-made cloud, "What the hell are you talking about? What breakthrough? You made a damn cloud!"

Naruto's grin slipped and he made a few hand seals before pushing the cloud away with a gust of wind, "Clouds are stupidly easy to move with wind. That solves my mobility problem, with me pushing out wind from the seals on my shoes I can control the altitude of the cloud, with my hands producing wind I can move the cloud any direction I want it to go."

Akiza ran her hand down her face and yelled again, "It's. A. Cloud! What the hell are you going to do with it? How are you going to get on a damn cloud to fly it in the first place? Do you have any idea how completely and utterly asinine this sounds?"

"No more asinine than a guy teleporting across the damn continent in a matter of moments because of a kunai…" He grumbled. Naruto made another cloud, falling to the ground again after it formed, "Touch the cloud Akiza-chan."

Akiza gave him a look of 'are you serious?' Naruto sighed, "Run your hand through the damn cloud so I can start explaining this shit to you."

Akiza walked over and ran her arm through the cloud, dispersing it as she did so. She then turned to Naruto and shrugged. Naruto motioned his head towards her arm, "What is different about your arm?"

Akiza wiped her arm on her skirt, "My arm was damp. So what?"

Naruto huffed, "The cloud is made of water damn it. A cloud is a visible mass of droplets of water, or frozen crystals suspended around the Earth's atmosphere. I had to mimic the pressure and feel of the atmosphere underneath my shoes to form a cloud. That means that there is water in the cloud, and what can a shinobi do on water?"

Akiza's eyes widened, "You're going to stand on a cloud and move it with the wind? That's insane! Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?"

Naruto shook his head, "Because like you said, it's insane. And it's not that easy. I've been trying to stand on the cloud and look cool before I told you what the cloud even was for so I could see the look on your face. There's a totally different process to stand on this thing and I'm going to find it."

Akiza looked at him with a frown marring her pretty features, "Maybe it's just not something that can be done Fullmetal? You're talking about walking on clouds. Clouds! You're really pushing the physical limits of reality with this now."

Naruto gave her an amused look, "Hello, my name is Naruto Uzumaki, shinobi. For a living I use my special abilities to fight, of which consist of me manipulating the elements around me, creating elemental attacks from my body's energy, calling on the power of the legendary demon sealed in my belly, and lest we forget, splitting myself into over one thousand copies of fully functional clones that can fight, eat, drink, bleed, and fuck you."

Akiza gave him a deadpan look, "Okay I get it." Her eyes then widened, "Wait what was that last part?"

Naruto scratched his face, "My clones?"

Akiza nodded.

"Fight?"

She shook her head, "Not that."

"Bleed? They can bleed if the cut is like a paper cut or something."

Akiza huffed, "No, not that, the last part!"

Naruto grinned slyly, "What, fuck you? Yeah my clones could fuck you. They're totally solid." He blinked owlishly, "You didn't know that?" Akiza shook her head, "You want to try it?" Akiza passed out with a nosebleed. Naruto looked at her in amusement, "I'll take that as a yes at some point."

XxX

"You're going to love this place Akiza-chan I just know it. You'll finally see how awesome ramen is!" Naruto said in an excited manner as he essentially dragged her through the morning streets of Konoha, "We need to get you some new clothes too, because wearing my shirts just ain't going to cut it outside." Since her Iwa flak jacket had been cut to ribbons and due to the fact that she was now in Konoha she had taken to wearing one of Naruto's old black shirts with a symbol of a leaf on it.

Akiza gave him a small smile, "You like it when I wear your shirts at home."

Naruto returned her smile, "That's because you usually don't wear anything underneath them dear."

Akiza giggled, "True I guess. So we'll eat your damn ramen noodles, I'll lie to you about how great they are to shut you up for a while, you'll buy me stuff, and that will be our day."

Nartuto didn't answer as he pulled back the curtain leading to Ichiraku Ramen. The two took a seat at the counter, Naruto had a sly smirk on his face, alarming Akiza, "What are you smiling about Fullmetal?"

Naruto looked to her, "I wonder how many people know that I'm back yet. The only people I've seen are some of the jounin, Big Boss, Haku-neechan, Shizune-neechan, Tsunade-baachan, and Sakura. Hell, the villagers that live near my apartment don't even seem to know that I'm back yet."

Akiza looked around the quaint stand, "This is a pretty simple place Fullmetal. And you've been coming here ever since you were a little kid?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah I love this place. I had to eat out a lot because I was broke a lot as a kid and ramen was pretty cheap, by the time Big Boss moved in with me this ended up being my favorite place to go. The people that run it are so nice, it just feels more comfortable than anywhere else." He then gave her a big grin, "Of course it didn't hurt that they cooked the best damn food I'd ever eaten in my life."

Akiza smiled at him and hummed to herself, "Well it smells good in here, I can say that at least."

Naruto yelped and picked up a menu to cover his face as he saw Ayame walk over to him and Akiza, "Welcome to Ichiraku Ramen. What can I get for you?"

Akiza looked over at Naruto who was hiding his face and shrugged, "I'll have a large bowl of… vegetable ramen I guess."

Ayame marked down her order and turned to the hidden Naruto, "And you sir? What will you be having?"

Naruto shoddily disguised his voice, "I'll have four large bowls of miso ramen to start and then two bowls of pork. From there we'll see."

Ayame sweatdropped as she marked his order down, "You order a lot like someone that used to live in this village. Kami, I never thought I would meet another one."

Naruto held back an amused snort, "Really? And what would this person's name be. A fellow lover of ramen couldn't possibly be a bad person."

Ayame smiled, "He wasn't bad at all, he was actually a really good kid. His name was Naruto, but he left about three years ago on a training trip. He didn't even say goodbye to us when he left."

Naruto frowned and lowered the menu, "Sorry Ayame-chan… I don't think I really told anyone that I was leaving though."

Ayame looked at Naruto who had put the menu down to see the apologetic look on his whiskered face, "N-Naruto-kun! You're back?"

Naruto nodded, "I just got back a few days ago. I had to take Akiza-chan to the hospital though so I couldn't come and see anyone or do anything, I didn't mean to leave without saying anything, it was just that I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, that's all."

Ayame ran over and pulled on his face, "You're real! Tou-san! Naruto came back!" She gave him a look as he was seated on the stool, "You got way bigger Naruto-kun. What have you been eating?"

Naruto slumped in his stool as his stomach growled, "Not nearly enough ramen… I thought about this place every day"

Akiza looked at the ramen waitress and Naruto, "What did you guys do to him when he first came in here, slip heroin in the broth? This is not natural." Naruto and Ayame looked at her blankly before they both started laughing, throwing Akiza off, "What exactly is so funny? I was being serious, he wouldn't shut up about ramen for two years!"

Naruto recovered first, "Sorry Akiza-chan, it's just that Big Boss said the same thing the first time I brought him here too."

Teuchi came from the back and stopped to stare at Naruto, "Kid you're huge. What the hell have you been doing for three years? There are rumors about you that have been flying around for a while now. You single-handedly beat a kage and marched on Kirigakure?"

Naruto sighed, "Man, the stories are getting more and more absurd. All I did was help fight the guy. If it weren't for Mei-chan melting his shell I would have been killed. You shouldn't listen to all of those rumors old man."

Ayame started preparing their food as she looked at Akiza, "You know Naruto-kun apparently. Who are you?"

Akiza could tell that these people were close to Naruto by the way that he was explaining parts of his trip animatedly to Teuchi and the girl was obviously curious as to what she was when it came to Naruto, "I'm Akiza Tamagawa. I'm Fullmetal's girlfriend."

Ayame's eyes lit up, "Sooo, when did you meet Naruto-kun? How long have you been together? Does he treat you well?"

Naruto broke off his conversation with Teuchi, "Um, Ayame-chan, if Akiza-chan doesn't want to answer those questions she doesn't have to."

Ayame didn't even look at him, keeping her eyes on Akiza, "Here Naruto-kun, ramen." Ayame passed him a bowl and silenced him as he began to dig in, leaving Akiza alone like a mouse around a viper.

Akiza, realizing she was basically alone due to her glutton of a boyfriend having a one track mind at the moment, took a breath, "I met him three years ago in Resembool."

Ayame grinned, "Ooh, how did you two meet?"

Akiza smiled nervously, wondering how her telling these people that she first met him by trying to kidnap/kill him would go over, "Um, well I just kind of bumped into him and he left an impression on me I guess you could say." 'Yeah, his foot left an impression on my ass when he was done kicking it.'

Ayame had stars in her eyes, "You met him before he even left Konoha for his training? That's so romantic that you found him again!"

Akiza laughed sheepishly, "I guess you could say that. Anyway I met him during his trip and just went with him. Now I'm here, I'm kind of nervous about living in Konoha though..."

Ayame set a bowl in front of Akiza and smiled warmly at the girl, "There's nothing to be nervous about. You're here with Naruto-kun and I know he's kind of goofy."

Naruto was drumming on the counter with his chopsticks, "Yo Teuchi-ojisan! Fill me up now! Four more for the Fullmetal Alchemist! I have three years of not eating ramen to catch up on!"

Ayame gave him a dry look, "Okay, he's really goofy. But he's a good guy and he'll make sure you're taken care of. Just trust him."

Akiza laughed and set her hand on her cheek as she stirred her ramen with her chopsticks and watched Naruto mark out over eating ramen, "I trust him… I trust him more than I'll ever trust anyone… Idiot or not, he's my idiot."

XxX

After eating at Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto took the Iwa-born girl into town to buy her new clothes. He got a kick out of most people not knowing who he was due to his appearance, it also made sure that Akiza didn't catch any glares or nasty remarks for being seen with him by any of the older villagers.

After spending hours upon hours in every store that Akiza felt like dragging him to, they both exited with Akiza in her new clothes. Akiza had a dark yellow short-skirt with one slit on one side up to her hip, mesh stockings that went just above her knees, black shinobi sandals, and a white sleeveless zip-up hoodie. She had also bought fingerless gloves for her hands.

After making sure she was happy with her purchases, Naruto sent the stuff home with a Kage Bunshin and walked around the village, showing Akiza the sights. Taking her to see the Ninja Academy, the Hokage Monument, and his old training ground as a genin.

Naruto and Akiza stood staring at the Hero's Monument. Naruto had quickly found his father's name and had spent a few minutes just standing there, staring at it. His silent musing was broken when he felt something very familiar, "Akiza-chan could you step away from me for a moment please?"

Akiza gave him a strange look, "What? What's going on Fullmetal?"

Naruto looked around the field, "Nothing's wrong. Just some old business that I never really finished." Naruto took off his coat and handed it to her as he shooed her off to a decent distance. After getting her out of the way he crouched down, resting his elbows on his knees, "She's out of the way now. Whenever you feel like starting this up is fine with me."

On cue a fireball flew from the woods at the blonde. Naruto rolled aside, letting it hit the ground. Naruto kept his eyes peeled before taking off in a random direction in the forest. As he entered the woods he lifted his right arm to block a fuuma shuriken thrown his way.

Naruto picked up the shuriken and smirked as he threw it back, watching a black blur emerge from the trees, Naruto grinned as he immediately set out in swift pursuit.

XxX

Akiza heard the clang of metal from when the shuriken hit Naruto's auto-mail, "What? Who's attacking you?"

She heard Naruto and his attacker run off further into the forest, leaving her by herself at the monument. Before she could give chase a pink blur landed next to her wearing a red sleeveless zip-up top, black high-heeled boot-like shinobi sandals, black shorts with a short pink apron like skirt, and pink elbow protectors. The most noticeable trait of this person was her shoulder length pink hair with her red hitae-ate in it, "Sakura-san?"

Sakura noticed she had found Akiza, "Oh Akiza! Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm looking for someone."

Akiza pointed in the direction of the trees, "Fullmetal went that way if he's the one you're trying to find."

Sakura shook her head, "No, I wasn't looking for Na-." Her eyes widened and then narrowed, "Damn it, I know what's going on. I should have known when he suddenly took off it would have been something like this." She motioned to Akiza, "Come on, let's go stop our boyfriends from killing each other."

Akiza nodded blankly and followed Sakura as they searched.

XxX

Naruto kept pace with the figure flying through the trees while he stayed on the ground. His grin grew ever wider as he saw the person jump into a clearing. Naruto immediately formed a dozen Kage Bunshin and transmuted a wall to block any further movement from the person he was chasing, "I knew you would find me eventually. And I have to say, I'm damn glad that you did."

The person smirked, "Hmn." In the flash of an eye he blurred around the Kage Bunshin surrounding him and popped them all into bursts of smoke.

Naruto wiped the smoke out of his vision, "You're faster… that's good. I am too." He formed his arm blade and dashed in to attack however he was matched when his adversary drew the chokuto from his hip. The two broke off their clash and slashed at one another a few times before breaking off again and staring one another down.

Naruto stood straight up and placed his hands on his hips, "You look good Sasuke. How's life been treating you since I kicked your ass?"

Sasuke was wearing a sleeveless dark grey shirt with the Uchiha crest on the back, he had bandages on his wrists that went up to his elbow. He also had on black pants with a black cloth hanging from his waist down to his knees, tied on with a purple belt. He still had his hitae-ate on his forehead, but with a black cloth now. He got a tick mark on his head, "What is that supposed to mean dobe? I was not in my right state of mind when we fought. We can do it again right now."

Naruto chuckled, "I wish we could, but I'm afraid I left my girlfriend at the Hero's Monument to come and chase your copy eyed ass down."

Sasuke smirked, "I did too, though not at the monument, at the three stumps."

Naruto gave him a look of disbelief, "Wait, you have a girlfriend now? What, did your fangirls finally catch you and put you under a genjutsu or something to date one of them?"

"Sasuke-kun!" Naruto turned his head to see Sakura and Akiza running out from the area they had just come from, "Sasuke-kun, why did you just run off like that? You could have just said that you wanted to see Naruto."

Naruto chuckled, "Sakura's your girlfriend? Sakura's your girlfriend and you ditched her to come mess with me? You're never getting laid."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Who says I never got laid?"

Naruto and Akiza looked at Sakura who was blushing brightly, "S-Sasuke-kun!" She yelled before walloping him over the head, sending him to the ground, "Naruto didn't need to know that."

Naruto raised his hand, "Yes I did. It's a guy thing. Either he told me, or I would have rubbed it in his face until he did." Naruto then pointed at Sakura, "You just hit him."

Sakura glared at the fallen Sasuke's form with a tick mark on her head, "Yeah? So what? He was being an idiot."

Naruto's brain could not compute what he had just seen, "You just hit him… hard… and on purpose too. Akiza-chan are you sure I woke up today and didn't just roll over and go back to sleep? Because this is some alternate reality stuff." Naruto yelped in surprise and pain, "Did you just pinch my butt?"

Akiza stood next to him with a grin, "Well it proves you're awake doesn't it?"

Naruto gave her a half hearted glare and rubbed the sore spot before turning his attention back to Sakura and Sasuke who was picking himself off of the ground. Sakura placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at Naruto, "What's so unbelievable? I used to try and hit you all the time. I'd probably still try but you haven't done or said anything stupid yet."

Akiza deadpanned, "Where were you at breakfast?"

Naruto dusted Sasuke off as he was still shaking off the cobwebs, "Yeah, but he's '_Sasuke-kun_!' I never would have thought that you would have ever had it in you to hit him, ever, no matter what."

Sakura blushed in embarrassment, "Well after you left and Sasuke-kun was able to go on missions and things again I started seeing that he really did some stupid things sometimes."

Naruto gave her a dry look, "Wow… all it took was some alone time with the guy to see that? What? Did the running off from the strongest village on the continent to train with a pedophile notorious for human experimentation not tip you off?"

Sasuke turned his Sharingan on to glare at Naruto, "I wasn't in my right mind damn it! It was the seal! I had Kakashi to reapply the counter-measure!"

Naruto waved off his anger and continued his rant, "I mean, the only guy that could teach you how to use your Sharingan in any way sure as hell wasn't in Otogakure, he would have taken those shits from you the second he could, you know that right?"

Sasuke started leaking off killing intent, "I know dobe. I had three years to think about that."

Naruto grinned at him, "When you thought about it did the ass-kicking I gave you for running off come to mind as well, because personally, I thought about it all the time. Five years of pent-up aggression on your face over the course of one hour. So good."

"Fullmetal stop pissing off your old teammate." Akiza chided, "You're probably going to get stuck back together once you get resorted back into the shinobi forces."

Naruto stroked his chin, "Good point Akiza-chan. Why unload all of my cracks at the teme now? I can wait until we get stuck together again and do it then. What rank are you guys anyway?"

Sasuke and Sakura looked at one another and spoke, "Chunin."

Naruto smirked, "Fantastic. When?"

Sakura latched on to Sasuke's arm, who did not shove her off, "Sasuke-kun wasn't really allowed to take the exam for a while after the you-know-what. We finally got to take the last one that was held here and we passed! Sasuke-kun even won the entire tournament!"

Naruto smirked, "What? No love for me? No one said shit when I won the tournament three years ago. Of course that may have had something to do with the invasion of the village that happened right before I got my promotion."

Sasuke gave Naruto a smug look, "Also you didn't win either. You and your brother knocked each other out in the finals from what I heard."

Naruto turned to Sasuke, "Yeah, because you only had what? Three years? Yeah, three years to win a tournament without a crazed jinchuuriki and kids with tons of kekkei genkai gunning for your head, not to mention the utter lack of legendary shinobi crashing the party and branding you after beating your ass. Face it. The first time we did the chunin exam was the roughest chunin exam in years. We were battle hardened after we got through with that clusterfuck."

Sasuke rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah I kind of noticed."

Naruto smiled, "I like this Sasuke! He doesn't seem nearly as agitated and broody as he was before! I daresay you're actually pleasant to be around, I may just stop purposely antagonizing you for being a douche."

Sasuke chuckled, "Lack of a mind-altering seal commenting on your every move, a beatdown from your elite jounin sensei, and sex on a regular basis will do that for you."

Naruto grinned and raised his hand, "Hell yeah, up high teme!" Sasuke and Naruto were about to high-five before they both got dropped by their respective significant others.

Sakura and Akiza stood over them both with shaking fists, "Idiots." They both looked at one another before Sakura smiled warmly, "Do you want to come with me to get lunch? I was going to meet some friends and I think I'm going to like you."

Akiza nodded and returned her smile, "That sounds great." She looked at Naruto and Sasuke who were both smoldering in craters, "What do we do with them?"

Sakura scoffed and walked off, "Leave them. I'm not wasting my chakra to heal those two for being stupid. Sasuke-kun will make Naruto do something later, he can find you or you'll see him at home."

XxX

Sakura had taken Akiza into the village in order to bring her to a nice little café where she had agreed to meet up with her friends. Akiza noticed that this village was far different from Iwagakure. In Iwa any ninja that she saw would be at some kind of post, their entire day would be spent somewhere official instead of here where she saw tons of ninja walking the streets doing any odd number of things.

"Here we are Akiza." Sakura cheerfully lead her into the intended café and over to a table with a blonde girl that had her hair in a ponytail, she had on a short sleeveless purple top that showed her stomach, a short purple skirt that was open to show a shorter black skirt underneath, and fishnet over her elbows and knees, "Hey Ino!"

Ino saw Sakura coming and waved to her, "Hey Sakura." She noticed that her old friend had company, "Who is this? I've never seen her before."

Sakura pulled a confused Akiza forward and presented her to Ino, "This is Akiza Tamagawa, Naruto brought her here when he came back from his training trip."

Ino's eyes widened, "Naruto came back? How long has he been here? No one's even seen him yet."

Sakura frowned, "I've seen him. The reason no one saw him is because Akiza was put in the hospital the moment he got here and he's been taking care of her."

Ino's unique blue eyes wandered over to Akiza, "Hello, I'm Ino Yamanaka. I'm Sakura's old friend and her and Naruto's classmate from the academy. Are the rumors about him really true?"

Akiza sat down next to Sakura, "Um, what rumors? Sorry, but we haven't really heard many except all of the ones about him in Kiri and he told me what really happened there."

Ino shook her head, "No not that one, that's old. I'm talking about the one with him destroying the stadium in Kumogakure when he fought in a bonus match at the chunin exams."

Akiza laughed, "No, he didn't destroy the entire stadium. I mean don't get me wrong he tore quite a bit of it up… and I don't know how long it took them to fix the ground after he was done, but he didn't destroy it. He came really close though. That Bunshin Daibakuha was no joke when I fought him, I can only imagine fighting against all of the ones that he used in Kumo, he might have actually killed me."

Sakura gave her an odd look, "You've fought Naruto before? When? I thought you were his girlfriend."

Ino's eyes widened, "You're his girlfriend? Where the hell did he find you?"

Akiza sighed and sunk into her chair, "I'm busted I guess. I tried keeping it a secret, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Okay, I've fought Fullmetal twice. Both times he beat me down and let me live. That's how we met."

Sakura fixed her with a stern glance, "Why were you fighting Naruto? Did he make you mad or something?"

Akiza shook her head, "No-. Well, yes, during the fight anyway. But I had to fight him, it was my mission. I used to be a jounin for Iwagakure before I met him. There's a long story behind it, but I ended up traveling and living with him for two years before we finally got together."

Ino gave her a confused look, "Why do you call him Fullmetal instead of Naruto?"

Akiza smirked, "You know, for 'Fullmetal Alchemist', his first name in the bingo book. At first I did it to make him mad, because he never really likes being called by any titles, but eventually I just kept calling him it because I liked it more than his name. He just got used to it. I think he likes it now actually."

Ino sighed wistfully, "You met a guy that was able to whisk you away from your own village just for him. That's so romantic."

Akiza sighed, "You would think so, the reality isn't really so sweet, Iwa has a massive bounty on both of us. More for him than me, but it's already caused us some trouble, it's how I ended up in the hospital when I first got here."

Sakura looked thoughtful, "Oh yeah, I was wondering how you got hurt the way you did in the first place. What happened to you two anyway? Tsunade-shishou never told me what had caused you your injuries anyway."

Akiza looked bashful, "Would you believe me if I told you that me and Fullmetal were fighting some S-ranked criminals?"

The two girls gasped, Ino looked at her incredulously, "You beat S-ranked criminals?"

Akiza tried to backpedal her words, 'No, no! Fullmetal was actually the one that beat them both. All I did was stay alive long enough until he could kill my opponent for me. He actually was the one that killed them both."

Ino looked at Akiza somewhat wide-eyed, "You can fight an S-ranked missing nin? How strong are you?"

Blushing, as she was starting to feel a little uncomfortable under all of the scrutiny, Akiza scratched the side of her face, "Um… I'm not sure. I was promoted in Iwa basically off of mission records so that just means that I never failed any. I'm weaker than Fullmetal and Jiraiya-sensei and I was apparently weaker than our opponents that we fought on the way back. I don't know what you would rank me in this village."

"Sorry I'm late everyone! Training went kind of late today."

Sakura and Ino turned to smile politely at the new arrival, "That's okay." Sakura started before gesturing to Akiza, "There's someone that I want you to meet. Say hello to Akiza, she's pretty new around here." Sakura couldn't put her finger on it but she had a bad feeling about this.

She smiled at Akiza. The girl had gray tinted eyes, and waist length dark blue hair with straight cut bangs. She wore a lavender and white zip-up sweater, navy pants, and black heels sandals along with a black hitae-ate wrapped around her neck. She reached her hand out to shake Akiza's, "How do you do, you're new here? I wonder how it is you came to this village."

Akiza found the soft-toned and gentle way she spoke very comforting, "Well I came here with someone important to me. He promised me that I would find it better here than my old village and I have to say, he's been right on the money so far."

The soft-spoken girl blinked in confusion before a smile returned to her face, "That's good. Since you're here with Sakura and Ino you must have an acquaintance in this village that one of them know. Do I know who the person you came here with?"

Sakura's face paled as she had finally remembered why this was supposed to be a bad thing, bad for someone that wasn't currently there and unable to prevent the coming storm that was about to be unleashed. Sakura tried to divert the conversation, "Uh, hey. Why don't we order since we're all here now?"

Akiza smiled softly, "Well I came here with Naruto Uzumaki… he's my boyfriend." The table was silent for a moment, eventually broken awkwardly by Akiza, "So do you know him? Because Sakura was his teammate and Ino was in the Ninja Academy with him, so you must know him too, right? Um, I didn't ever get your name, I'm sorry."

The girl's smile became somewhat strained at this point and for some reason Akiza felt a sense of dread she couldn't exactly discover the source of, "Oh, my name is Hinata Hyuuga, and I guess you could say that I do know Naruto-kun fairly well. I was his girlfriend after all. "

XxX

"Yes! Suck on that village! You can't keep a good man down!" Naruto was raising a storm in Tsunade's office after going to see her upon him and Sasuke being awakened by the Anbu sent to summon him, "How do you like that Sasuke? Does it burn? Please tell me it burns." Naruto grinned widely at his fowl-haired teammate.

Sasuke scoffed and turned his head away from Naruto's celebration, "Whatever. I would have been promoted too if I had been able to take the exam again sooner."

Tsunade and Hiruzen watched Naruto make an ass of himself, one in growing annoyance, another in amusement. The older former Hokage chuckled openly at the sight, "It's good to see he's still the same old Naruto even after getting so powerful."

Tsunade's eye twitched as the boy continued to celebrate, at this point he had grabbed Shizune who had entered with Tonton in hand and spun her around the room rapidly in glee, making the black-haired assistant and small pig dizzy, "Naruto stop being stupid before I demote you back to genin!"

Naruto stopped on a dime, allowing Shizune to collapse in a nearby chair with swirls in her eyes, "You wouldn't dare. You can't do that five seconds after promoting me to tokubetsu jounin."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the strange ranking placement, "Why didn't you just give Naruto a full jounin promotion anyway Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade sighed, "Because a jounin needs to be well rounded enough to not have any real holes in their game. Naruto here is still a sucker for genjutsu, he's more of a direct combat specialist, not much for true strategy, more of an on-the-fly fighter."

Sasuke nodded and then smirked at Naruto, "So I can still get a promotion over you if it takes you forever to get another promotion straight up to jounin. That's good to know."

Naruto looked at Tsunade, "Hey, I am not a sucker for genjutsu. I can break them."

Hiruzen sweatdropped, "How long does it take you to work your way out of one Naruto-kun when you know it's coming?"

Naruto thought for a moment, "About a minute or two."

"**With help I might add.**" Kyuubi chimed in from within his mind.

Naruto gritted his teeth, 'Not helping my self-esteem here Kyuubi-chan!' He started gnashing his teeth together as the melodious laughter of the demonic vixen rang out in his head.

Hiruzen slapped his forehead and dragged it down his face, "Naruto-kun that's too slow of a reaction time to a genjutsu. A glaring weakness like that could be easily capitalized on by someone on the level of Kurenai."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "And yet I've never fought anyone on the level of Kurenai when it comes to genjutsu." The two kage-level ninja pointed at Sasuke who was standing next to Naruto waving at him with his Sharingan active, all tomoes spinning showboatingly. Naruto shrugged, "Whatever… so when am I ever going to fight someone _else_ that can put me in a genjutsu with just eye conta-." He slumped his shoulders, "Nevermind."

Naruto blinked, "Oh yeah. Am I going to be put back on Team 7 when you get me put back on active duty?"

Tsunade nodded, "Kakashi asked me to place you back under his watch when you came back. Seeing as how your squad was intended to be a combat ready squad, you being a specialist in heavy combat won't mess up any dynamic the team would have."

Naruto raised his hand like an academy student, "Um question. What are you going to do with Akiza-chan? She doesn't know anyone and she has been working with me for two years. Where are you going to place her when you get her instated as a Konoha ninja."

Hiruzen stroked his beard, "A good question. What would you say she would be if you had to label her?"

Naruto didn't hesitate, "A close range fighter that specializes in direct combat as well. Her and that damn halberd are a pain in the ass… literally. Ero-sennin also taught her some good stuff as far as ninjutsu. Like me she doesn't know a damn thing about genjutsu, but unlike me she can dispel them easily enough and she at least knows the basic useless ones that can cause some adversity." He then blinked, "Wait. If you have her outrank me I'll never hear the end of it."

Tsunade smirked, "Well she was a jounin in her old village from what you told me, there has to be a good reason that I shouldn't let her keep her old rank." Seeing Naruto drop his jaw in disbelief and about to launch into a spiel about how unfair it was, Tsunade started laughing, "Sorry brat. Don't worry, she was a jounin in her village but here she has to work her way up a bit. She's a chunin for now."

Naruto grinned and pumped his fist in victory, "Awesome!" He then looked over to Sasuke, "Hey, where did the girls go anyway?"

Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest as he stood in boredom, "Sakura probably took your girl with her for lunch with the other kunoichi from our graduating class. You know, Ino and Hinata."

Naruto faintly tapped on the metal of his auto-mail as he listened to Sasuke explain where they were, "Oh, well that's nice. It's good that Akiza-chan is getting along with Sakura and meeting more people from here." He suddenly dragged his fingernails across the metal, causing a horrible screech noise, "Wait, you said Hinata's there too?"

Sasuke nodded, cleaning out his ears from the terrible noise just inflicted on him, "Yeah, she's probably introducing her to them all as we… speak." His eyes widened as he looked at Naruto, "Hold on… You never-."

Naruto's eyes shone in fear, "I don't think I did. Do you think it will be a-."

"Problem?" Sasuke finished for him, "Uh… yeah! You're a dead man, did you know that?"

Naruto pulled at his hair, "Nooo! I didn't mean to! I was twelve damn it! Twelve! And I left for three years! What are the chances she threw me into the back of her mind?"

Sasuke shook his head, "Nope. Not likely, not at all. You're screwed…" Sasuke pulled out a camera, "And I'm going to have pictures of it."

Naruto face-faulted and stood abruptly, "Why would you take pictures of that!"

Sasuke shrugged, "Because your brother asked me and Sakura to do it when 'the shit hit the fan'. I didn't know what it meant at first but now I do and I have to say that it was a good analogy to aptly describe what is about to happen to you later. He also said he'd pay us. Money and getting to humiliate you, how could I say no?"

Naruto began to panic, "Maybe they didn't say anything about it yet? Maybe it won't all blow up and become some kind of horrible situation? There's a chance of that happening, right? RIGHT?"

Sasuke looked out the window at the village, "I would say that you should use the knowledge that you have now to intervene in any way you can before one of them kills the other. You might be able to stop it if you move now."

Naruto nodded and rushed out the door to exit the tower. Sasuke looked at the older ninja in the room with a smug face. Tsunade shook her head, "You don't really believe that do you?"

Sasuke shook his head no, "Nope, not one bit. It was either get him to go there and jumpstart the situation altogether or have him freak out and hide until it all blows over like his brother would. I think I'm doing him a favor though, it just so happens that my favor will be hilarious to me and will be putting him in an awkward situation that will make me money and will be super-entertaining."

Shizune, Hiruzen, Tsunade… even Tonton, all gave him looks of disapproval, "You guys think I'm wrong for doing this?" They all nodded, "Are any of _you_ going to go down there and bail him out of it yourselves?" They all dropped their glares and shook their heads no, "Do you guys want pictures and a play-by-play breakdown of what happens?" They all nodded. Sasuke smirked in response, "That's what I thought." He then shunshined out of the office.

* * *

**Chapter complete. I'm going to be going back through my earlier chapters to touch up the paragraph structure that I didn't learn how to fix until halfway through the current story, no matter how painstaking it may be… that's how much I care. It's such a pain in the ass though.**

**Anyway, it's late and I've got shit to do tomorrow. Enjoy the read, I'm gone.**

**Kenchi out. **


	54. What's My Age Again?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I have been telling you people this for the last 8 months, I am not that . Get the picture already! I'm running out of ways to be clever and witty about it!

**Chapter 54: What's My Age Again?**

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"Fuck! FUCK!" Naruto yelled to himself as he rushed across the rooftops of the village he hadn't yet been in for an entire week yet, and still there was something monumentally out of his hands that could destroy him. Both physically, emotionally, and socially… and did I mention physically? Because that aspect is very, very important.

Naruto had anime tears rolling down his face, "It wasn't that serious when I left that this would end so horrifically for me, would it?"

As he spoke to himself he wasn't expecting an answer, but the ever present voice in his head once again decided to grace him with her opinions on the matter, "**It doesn't matter Naruto-kun. For all intents and purposes you were her first boyfriend, thus she waited on you, I'm sure she did.**"

Naruto seemingly forgot he could speak to Kyuubi in his head as he had foregone all rational thought by this point, "But why?" He whined pitifully, "I wasn't that big of a deal. I hadn't even gotten to take her out by the time I left, how the hell could I have any kind of lasting impact on a girl I only kissed twice!"

"**You were the first.**" Kyuubi simply stated as if that were all he needed to know about the subject.

Naruto didn't know the first place to look for them all, he had no clue where girls in the village hung out at, except for the hot springs and he had no desire to catch them there and add pervert to the reasons that he would end up getting his ass kicked, 'Kyuubi-chan, on a scale of 1 to 10 how screwed am I? Please don't sugarcoat it, I need to know my chances of survival here.'

There was a moment of pause before he got a response, "**Naruto-kun your scale isn't high enough for me to properly give you an answer on that front.**"

Naruto's face had a look of horror. If the all powerful demonic presence inside of you says that you're dead then you really better start getting your will together, "I need to hide! I need to just find somewhere to lay low for the next six months until this all blows over. Hey, maybe Ero-sennin would be willing to go on another training trip, that sounds like a great idea!"

Naruto suddenly found himself falling over his own feet as he suffered a crushing headache, "**You will do no such thing Naruto-kun. This needs to be over with and done! What if Hinata put her life on hold, her relationships with people on hold just for you? What the hell would you do to her if you left this in the air?**"

Naruto picked himself up slowly, holding his head, 'I'm scared Kyuubi-chan! What if Hinata-chan and Akiza-chan both kick my ass? What if they fight each other? What if they both take turns beating my ass and then turn on each other!'

"**Then I'll heal you. For Kami's sake, act your age and be a man about this.**"

Naruto's eye twitched, "Oh, so when I want to do something like say; get hammered for my birthday and run amok across Resembool or do other cool, fun stuff like that, I'm just a boy, but when there an uncomfortable and potentially hazardous situation that needs my tending to I'm a man? Society needs to make up its damn mind across the board and come to terms with the ultimate question.'

Kyuubi was curious, "**Which is?**"

Naruto dusted himself off, "How old is fifteen really?"

"…**That was really stupid Naruto-kun.**" Kyuubi stated, her tails swishing in an somewhat irritated fashion inside of his head.

Naruto scoffed, "No it isn't. They give you this hitae-ate and say you're an adult in the eyes of the village, that you can fight and kill and die and be expected to make decisions that will either save or end countless lives and yet when you're trying to live your life you're just a kid that doesn't know anything, it's totally a double standard."

Naruto had a scowl on his face as he continued to search, "We were twelve. TWELVE! What the fuck? Now living with Big Boss made me one very worldly experienced twelve year old. I mean I knew what was going on around me to a certain extent, like when I was ten and Eiko-chan was all drunk after Big Boss's birthday and crashed at our house and tried to-."

"**Naruto-kun focus!**" Kyuubi yelled.

Too late, he was gone, "-and she was all like, 'I don't want to sleep alone Naruto-kun.' And I was like, 'Why the hell not?' And then I woke up the next morning and she was naked, that was a fantastic day. Yes I had to hightail it to the safety of the classroom and look over my shoulder for the next week, but hey! It builds character!" He looked around blankly, "What were we talking about again?"

"Naruto! Hey, Naruto!"

Naruto found Kiba riding a massive white dog that was oddly familiar, "Kiba! Is that Akamaru? Holy crap he's huge!"

The two came to a stop at his side. Kiba looked down at his dog and back up to Naruto before shrugging, "Oh, I guess. I haven't really noticed."

Naruto gave him a dry look, "You're riding on his back Kiba. How can you not see that your own dog probably outweighs you at this point in time?" Naruto got a thought in his head, "Wait, question. Where are the girls from our graduation class right now?"

Kiba gave him an odd look before pointing, "That way. Why?"

Naruto gave him a doomed look, "I need to go and face my death. Are you coming? Sasuke and Big Boss are probably going to be in hiding somewhere so why not have someone else witness my demise."

Kiba and Akamaru looked at each other in confusion, "Why? You're looking like someone just kicked you in the balls."

Naruto rubbed his head nervously, "There is a very good chance of that actually happening here today." Naruto said in a low voice before running off in the direction Kiba pointed in.

Kiba looked at Naruto as he ran off, "What is wrong with him? He just got back didn't he? What could possibly make him have a look like that on his face?" Akamaru growled and barked as if he was speaking, "Holy shit I forgot about that too!" Kiba started patting himself down, "Camera! Where's my camera? Akamaru go home quick, I need my camera!" Akamaru barked in response and took off towards the Inuzuka Compound.

XxX

Akiza stood staring at the blue-haired girl that seemed to have that smile of hers plastered falsely on her face. After about five minutes of silence all around Akiza finally mustered up an intelligent response, "Huh?" Akiza shot a glance at Sakura asking for some help here but all she got in return was the pink-haired girl giving her a clueless expression on what to do.

Hinata sat down at the table seemingly completely calm, "I said that Naruto-kun and myself had a relationship of sorts when he had been in the village." At this point the closed eye smile on her face was starting to really mess with Akiza's head, "And you're saying that he is your boyfriend are you? So you happen to be his girlfriend."

Akiza looked around for a way out of the situation, "Well who's to say it's even the same Naruto Uzumaki? There might be more than one in the world somewhere. What does yours look like?"

Hinata didn't miss a beat, "The last time I saw him he had spiky blonde hair, blue eyes, whisker marks on his cheeks, one metal right arm, his chunin vest, black pants, a red cloak and he had a necklace with a precious looking gem on it."

Akiza sweatdropped, "Okay, that's really specific. Right down to the necklace too, how precise…"

Sakura blinked, "Wait, how do you know he has the necklace? Tsunade-shishou told me he always kept it under his shirts."

Hinata looked at Sakura, "I could see it with Byakugan."

Akiza blushed, "Um…"

_(Flashback)_

_Naruto laid back on his futon with a satisfied look on his face, "And there you go. Now give me some honest feedback here seeing as how I'm a rookie at the whole 'rocking your world' thing, am I still awesome or what Akiza-chan?"_

_Akiza rolled her eyes and set her head on his bare chest with a satisfied smile on her face, "Sure, whatever you say Fullmetal." She yawned sleepily as she adjusted herself before flinching as something uncomfortable was under her ear. She leaned up and saw a crystal gem necklace around his neck. Taking the stone in her hands she looked at it intently, "What is this? You have jewelry?"_

_Naruto looked down at her and handled the necklace gem from her grasp, "Oh yeah. This is the necklace that Tsunade-baachan gave me for learning Rasengan in a week. It used to belong to the Shodaime Hokage, it's cool isn't it?"_

_Akiza nodded, "It looks so valuable. She must really trust you to give you something like this."_

_Naruto grinned at her, "Yeah. You want to hold on to it for me for a while?"_

_Akiza looked at him curiously, blinking at him in response, "What? You want me to keep it for you? I can't do that, your Hokage gave that to you, why would you let me do that? That's like you're giving it to me to have as a gift."_

_Naruto took the necklace off and placed it on her, "Call it what you want to then. I'll be expecting that back at some point mind you, but for the time being I say that you make it look better than I can." Naruto winked at her and kissed her on the forehead._

_Akiza simply gazed at the stone around her neck. A smile slowly started forming on her face, "You can trust me Fullmetal, I'll keep this safe and sound for you. I won't let you down."_

_Naruto pulled her closer to him and set his chin in her hair, "I've trusted you for years Akiza-chan. You couldn't let me down if you tried."_

_Akiza snuggled closer to Naruto and shut her eyes, her new accessory set around her neck firmly._

(End Flashback)

Akiza pulled the necklace from within her hoodie, the green jewel shining in the light of the café. She looked at Hinata firmly, "He gave it to me not too long ago to keep it safe for him. So I guess I am talking about the same Naruto Uzumaki that you are."

Sakura looked at Akiza in surprise, "He gave you the necklace? But she said that the necklace was worth enough to buy three mountains and still have something left over. It's a national treasure."

Akiza nodded and looked at it fondly, "I know. And he's important enough to me that I'll reciprocate his trust in me always."

Sakura glanced between the two girls nervously. As she tried seeing what Ino thought about the situation she sweatdropped at seeing that Ino was watching intently with a drink in her hand and a smile on her face, "Ino! Help me settle this before something bad happens!"

Ino gave Sakura an unconvinced look, "Why on earth would you tell me to do that? This is amazing, I can't believe there's finally something interesting going on around here and that Naruto is in the center of it. Who would have seen that coming?"

Sakura got a tick mark on her head, "These are our friends here Ino! We can't just sit back and watch it happen and do nothing! What's wrong with you?"

Ino shrugged, "It's super boring around here." She went back to watching Akiza and Hinata, letting Sakura worry about it herself.

Akiza's face was one of complete seriousness. Naruto was the entire reason she was there in the first place. There was no way she was going to let this local girl move in and tell her that she couldn't have him, he belonged to her as far as she was concerned, "Fullmetal is mine. He spared me twice when he didn't have to, he gave me a purpose, he made me feel closer to him than I ever have to anyone, and he makes me happy. So I'll say this here and now just to be crystal clear about it; I am Akiza Tamagawa, Fullmetal's girlfriend."

Hinata kept a stone gaze on Akiza, "I've loved Naruto-kun since we were in class together. I was with him far before you were. I grew up with him and I know more about him than you possibly could."

Akiza scoffed, "Bullshit. I know absolutely everything about Fullmetal. _Absolutely everything_. Everything there is to know about him. I could tell you things about him right now that could either make you cringe, make you laugh, make you think he's cute, or maybe even make you want to cut ties with him."

Ino was really interested now, "Like what?" She asked, her eyes practically shining.

Akiza chuckled, "I'll tell you one of my favorite things about Fullmetal that nobody knows. If you stroke his whisker markings he'll purr. Honest to goodness purr, and he can't control it either, it's so cute!"

Sakura laughed at the thought of Naruto purring out loud like a cat, "I never would have thought."

Akiza nodded, "I guess no one ever knew about that because no one ever wanted to get close enough to touch him like that." She looked at Hinata, "So how is it that you know everything about him and 'grew up' with him and you don't know that? I found that out by complete accident almost six months ago." She took a second to think, "How long were you actually with him anyway before he left?"

Sakura and Ino took a second to think. Apparently they more or less hooked up sometime after the chunin exam, but immediately following his promotion Naruto was ridiculously busy. The three months between the chunin exam finals and Naruto's departure couldn't have left him with much more than one week of down time combined, and that came directly after the invasion, which still wasn't true time off because he helped with the rebuilding. Between the looking for Tsunade and the time he had to take to get his auto-mail adjusted, and then the time he had to spend in the hospital after stopping Sasuke's defection he couldn't really have had that much time at all to consider what he had with Hinata anything more than interest.

Akiza was getting impatient, "Well?"

Hinata answered her, "I first kissed him during our first chunin exam."

Akiza rolled her eyes, "That exam is infamous throughout the Elemental Nations. Any shinobi in the know had the scoop on that debacle, that means that you were with him for a maximum of two, maybe three months with him on a fresh chunin's schedule which you all know from experience is grueling.

Ino gave her a strange look, "Well since it lead to the Suna-Oto invasion I can see how you would know about it, but how do you know how long it was between events?"

Akiza turned to Ino in order to answer, "Well I know the timetable because I first met him shortly before he left for his training and caught up with him again six months after he had been out on the road. I've been traveling, training, and all around spending every waking moment with Fullmetal for two years."

Sakura saw Akiza's point, "So how was that?"

Akiza gave her a small smile, "We hated each other at first. It comes with the territory of trying to kill one another beforehand, you see."

Hinata glared at Akiza, "You tried to kill Naruto-kun?"

Akiza looked over at her lazily before inspecting her nails, "Sure did. We had our first little run-in on the battlefield back when you were in your little 'relationship'. Yeah, I fought him while he was missing his arm, stabbed him in his good one with my blade, fought off a hoard of his suicidal Kage Bunshin, then he kicked my ass… good times. Then there was the second time, he was so lucky that time. Kicking me into a river… I almost had him that time too."

Hinata growled to herself, "You fought Naruto-kun… and now you claim to be in love with him. What kind of logic is that?"

Akiza looked over at Sakura and Ino who were also giving her questioning looks, probably because they wanted to ask that too, "Hey, they say that you don't really get to know someone until you fight them. Well if that's the case then I really, really know Fullmetal better than you, than any of you. Period."

Hinata felt like telling this girl off. How could she sit there and say things like that? She stood up, "How dare you say those things? I've been watching Naruto-kun since he was in the academy. I've watched him struggle just to get the simple things down, just to learn how to Henge. I've never seen anyone work as hard as he has, just to call himself passable as a ninja. He inspired me! You just came in and saw all of his successes and decided to have him for yourself. You have no idea how ecstatic I was when he finally started to notice me after so many years."

Akiza went wide eyed before standing and glaring at Hinata, "All of his successes? Yes I've seen him do some amazing things, but I've also seen Fullmetal at his absolute most vulnerable. Both emotionally and physically. I've seen around for a week at a time without an arm, none of you have ever seen that, none of you have ever had to actually face the fact that he doesn't have an arm. You all see his auto-mail and probably think it's just one big advantage. That thing is a headache to him that sometimes isn't worth the hassle it brings him. Do any of you even know how it works?"

Sakura nodded, "Tsunade-shishou made me learn about it if I was going to be the medic on Naruto's team. Isn't it directly connected to his nerves so that he can move it like a real limb?"

Akiza nodded, "Did you know that he didn't lose his entire arm the night it was lost? He had to get the rest of the stump cut off so he could get the auto-mail put in. And then it needed to be hooked up to his limbs."

Sakura cringed, attaching nerve endings was no joke. She had to ask Naruto what it was like when she had the chance, that was one thing as a medical ninja she had to know to satiate some of her curiosity.

Akiza frowned, "I can't tell you how many times I've seen the look on his face when he gets it taken out and put back in. He hides it but I can see him cringe. Just for it to make him cringe, it must be absolutely horrible." Her eyes sharpened, "And like I said, no one knows the things about him that I know, I mean no one. If you saw all of these things then why didn't you help him? Why did you just watch? I know for a fact that he not only would have accepted you the second you showed that you were sincere, he would have treasured anything that you did for him."

Ino raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

Akiza shut her eyes in reminiscence, "Fullmetal cherishes any bit of affection you give him. Even a little complement about how well he can perform a ninjutsu or a certain attack will make him smile like you wouldn't believe. I've never seen anyone so happy to get even a hug on his shoulder before, and he'll always kiss me like it was the first time we did." She opened her eye slightly and looked at Hinata, "And he's awesome in the sack."

Sakura and Ino's jaws dropped. "You had sex with him?"

Hinata started to turn red, "Naruto-kun made love to you?"

Akiza nodded, "Yes. After all of the things we've been through and all of the things we're no doubt _going _to go through with bounties like ours and enemies like the ones that Fullmetal has I would say that our life expectancy is very short. There's no way I'm waiting to do it when it's acceptable to other people. We're fifteen, and high level ninja, if anyone has any problems with that they can take it up with either of us."

Hinata slammed her hands on the table, "Well then I'm taking it up with you. You think I'll just let you have Naruto-kun? You've got another thing coming, I will not let you take him from me, understand?"

Akiza shook her head, "He wasn't yours to lose in the first place. Like I said, he's mine. If you say you won't let him slip away what the fuck do you think I'll do? Just give him to you after all of the shit I had to go through to find him. He's all I have, and I'm not rolling over and letting some random girl that can't even keep up with his afterimage just say he's hers because she lived in his village and got a kiss from him back before he had some bass in his voice." She finished, standing up to match her.

Hinata narrowed her eyes at Akiza, "Follow me." She then turned and left the other girls in the café.

Akiza sighed and looked back at Ino and Sakura, "I didn't even get to eat. I'm glad Fullmetal took me to go get breakfast this morning."

Sakura stood up, "Are you really going to do this? What if you get in trouble?"

Akiza smiled at her faintly, "It is what it is. And besides, she just challenged me. There's no way I'm backing down from any challenge _she's_ throwing out at me. She doesn't know what level I'm at, and that's fine with me. Let me surprise her, I guess that's something else I picked up from Fullmetal."

She walked out of the café and headed off in the direction that she could sense Hinata had gone off in.

XxX

Naruto landed in front of the café and looked inside where he saw Sakura and Ino sitting and talking. With a newfound vigor he rushed inside and right up to their table, "Please tell me that you know where either Hinata-chan or Akiza-chan are!"

Sakura nodded, "Hinata asked Akiza to follow her somewhere. She obviously knew what was going on but went anyway."

Naruto pulled at his hair, "Damn! Why is this happening now? Am I that memorable that after a few meetings with me a girl is willing to fight a jounin over me?"

Ino and Sakura both stood up abruptly. Sakura ran up to Naruto's side, "Oh no I forgot that Akiza was supposed to be a jounin! We need to go, now!"

Naruto glared at them both, "You didn't try to stop them? What the hell?"

Ino backed off slightly, "Hey, what were we supposed to do? Maybe letting them get it all out now will be better in the long run?"

Naruto groaned and walked towards the door, "Both of them 'getting it all out' will end up with one or the other maimed or crippled." He went outside and took off towards the rooftops again to continue his search.

Both girls followed him outside shortly thereafter only to be surprised with a shunshin. Sakura immediately knowing who it was, "Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke looked over and saw the girls standing by the entrance, "Hey. Quick question, did Naruto come past here a moment ago?"

Sakura nodded and pointed, "Yeah he went off that way. He's going to go and try to stop Hinata and Akiza from fighting." She fixed him with a suspicious glance, "Why do you care?"

Sasuke smirked and pulled out a camera, "You already know why, I'm sure."

Sakura put her hands on her hips and gave him an admonishing look, "You can't do that to Naruto Sasuke-kun, no matter how much his brother is willing to pay you for pictures. What about all he's done for us, he kept you from being taken by Orochimaru, he's our friend and teammate."

Sasuke gave her a dull look, "This is true, however he _did_ kick my ass in order to bring me back and I never got my rematch. Until that point in time where we can actually settle up this is the best I've got, therefore, humiliation time." Sasuke jumped off in pursuit of Naruto.

Sakura sighed, "I'm getting a headache with all of this going on… Are you coming or what Ino?"

A small smile broke out into a big grin on Ino's face, "Do you really have to ask that Forehead?" She then jumped off in the direction that everyone seemed to be heading in these days, leaving Sakura out front by herself.

Sakura furrowed her brow and let out a groan, "Is it even worth the migraine I'm getting to put a stop to this?" With that she followed suit with everyone else.

XxX

Akiza stopped following at a speedy pace as she ended up in a wooded area separating the village from the training fields that Konoha ninja used. Keeping her eyes peeled for anything she bit her finger and made the appropriate hand-seals to summon Sekki Kiritateru to her hands from the earth. As she adjusted to the weight and balance of her weapon she kept walking through the forest with her eyes peeled for any movement whatsoever.

As she traversed the somewhat unfamiliar terrain a click noise put Akiza on alert as a barrage of kunai flew at her. Akiza used her weapon in a rotating pattern to bat all of the kunai away from her. Planting the pole of her weapon into the ground she looked all around her. She really wasn't used to fighting in wooded areas, but in Iwa, in order to prepare for another war with Konoha, there were classes in the academy meant to educate students on wooded combat, so she had some semblance of an idea of how to fight in this situation.

She knew that where Iwa ninja were straightforward with their approach for the most part, Konoha ninja loved misdirection and traps, using tactics to overcome any straight disadvantages they could suffer. Naruto had fought her like that in their first encounter, but in the second encounter she learned just how well a Konoha ninja could conceal themselves in the woods.

Akiza sighed, "If I was Fullmetal I would have leveled this forest or burned it down by now looking for you." She leaned on her halberd, "If we're going to do this then let's just do it already. I don't need to fight you to prove anything, I already have him." With that being said, Akiza rolled her weapon and took a swing at Hinata who had attempted an attack from behind.

Hinata ducked the swing and attempted a palm thrust at Akiza after getting through her guard. Akiza dropped her arms, taking the pole of the weapon with them and smashed it on the top of Hinata's attacking hand, blocking her attack. Following through with her momentum, Akiza spun and attempted to hit Hinata in the face with the back end of the halberd.

Hinata jumped back and dodged the attack before rushing back in, however Akiza had her clocked coming in and hit a spinning back kick to her torso, sending her flying backwards onto her back. Akiza stood in a ready stance with her blade and noticed Hinata's eyes as she returned to her feet, "Oh that's right, you are a Hyuuga aren't you? That's the Byakugan?"

Hinata growled as she stood back up, "Yes that is correct. I am the heiress of the clan. Even with your pole-arm I have the advantage over you in close combat."

Akiza paced slowly around Hinata, "You think so? It's not that much different from fighting Fullmetal or sparring with him. Just don't let you touch me. One punch from him could crack my sternum so I had to get good at dodging. He's way faster than you too so that's another plus in my favor. Come to think of it, he always had a few of his Kage Bunshin running around too, so I never really get one-on-one fights with him with those things making a nuisance of themselves and trying to sidetrack me."

Hinata set herself back into her Jyuuken stance, "So what are you trying to say?"

Akiza smirked, "That this is going to be easy compared to what I've been dealing with on a daily basis beforehand."

Hinata placed her index and middle fingers together and thrusted them out at Akiza. Akiza cursed and dodged as a burst of chakra flew from Hinata's fingertips. Hinata began a prolonged barrage of the thin streams of chakra needles from her fingertips, 'A Hyuuga with an attack that has decent range on it? That's just great. Maybe this won't be so easy after all?'

Hinata just kept firing at Akiza, but not hitting her. Akiza tried to maneuver around her and get to an angle where she couldn't comfortably fire at her, but Hinata was extremely flexible, moving her body effortlessly to make up for Akiza's flanking tactics, 'It's a shame for her she never got to have sex with Fullmetal, I'm sure he would have had some fun with her if she can move like that. Kami, I guess I need to add stretching to my daily schedule.' Akiza let out a pained cry as she wound up getting hit with one of the needles in the body.

Hinata took advantage and rushed in, closing the distance between them and attempting to assault Akiza with her dangerous taijutsu. Akiza was slowed down considerably as the attack had hit her right in the stomach, sapping her of her wind for a moment. She had to admit, the girl had killer instinct in this case as she was attacking with intent to strike her organs, no chakra points had been targeted thus far.

Akiza thrusted upward with her halberd to get some space from Hinata, but she jumped back and landed in her stance, "You're in my range."

Akiza held her weapon at the ready, "In range of your what?"

Hinata rushed in, "Two palms!" Akiza blocked the strikes with Sekki Kiritateru, "Four palms! Eight palms!" The strikes were getting progressively faster, but she still kept up and blocked her strikes, "Sixteen palms! Thirty-two palms! Hakke Sanjuuni Shou (Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms)!" Akiza jumped back again after dealing with Hinata's attack, panting heavily, "How did you block every strike?"

Akiza continued panting, "Like I said, Fullmetal is faster than you. But that was rough… Hirogeru (Extend)!" Akiza's blade extended at Hinata who cartwheeled out of the way, allowing a tree to be impaled all the way through by the attack. Hinata jumped onto it and began running it down it towards Akiza.

Akiza let her get close before letting go of the halberd and slapping her legs out from under her, forcing her to fall on her stomach on the pole. Hinata slipped off, holding her body and ended up taking a round kick to the side of the body and then a spinning back kick to the face. Hinata stumbled back while Akiza moved forward to attempt an axe kick. Hinata let it slide past her and jabbed at her leg, leaving Akiza with one good one remaining.

The former Iwa-nin hobbled backwards and put her hand out for Sekki Kiritateru to return to her, however with her Byakugan active, Hinata could see the chakra linking the two together and before it could get from the tree, she had rushed between Akiza and her blade and severed the connection with a Jyuuken strike before moving back in. Attempting a twin palm strike, Akiza grabbed both of her wrists and threw her away.

Before any more fighting could be done a clap rang out before a wall rose between them, "That's enough damn it!"

Both girls turned to find Naruto crouched down with his hands on the ground, "Finally! I've been looking for you both forever. Stop fucking fighting!" He stood up and dusted his hands off before walking over.

"Naruto-kun/Fullmetal!" Hinata and Akiza said at the same time before glaring at each other, only breaking it when Naruto loudly cleared his throat.

They both looked back at him as a tick mark showed on his head. However after a moment his angry expression dropped, "So I see you two have met. Anything anyone has to say to me right now?"

Akiza shook her head, "No Fullmetal, I understand the situation completely. I wish you would have informed me though… it might have made this go a little smoother, you know, without the 'my leg being paralyzed' part."

Naruto waved it off, "Oh you'll be fine in a few hours." He then looked at Hinata, "And you Hinata-chan?"

Hinata gave Naruto a saddened look, "Why her and not me Naruto-kun? What's wrong with me?"

Naruto frowned, "There's nothing wrong with you at all Hinata-chan, don't you ever think that for a second. You're beautiful." Naruto stopped and took a second to get a good look at her, "Like, really beautiful. Wow, that's what you look like with your hair grown out? That's awesome." Naruto shook his head to get back on track, "Anyway, you're strong as well. Look at Akiza-chan, she can't even walk right now."

Hinata looked at Akiza who had finally sat down on the ground and de-summoned her halberd. She turned back to Naruto, "But why her Naruto-kun? Why do you love her?"

Naruto looked down at Akiza who was attempting to work some feeling back into her leg, "She's precious to me. Yes, we fought a lot when we first met, and I called her Crazy Rock Bitch like all the time-."

Akiza blinked blankly and glared up at Naruto, "That's right, you did call me that didn't you? Bastard."

"Love you too Akiza-chan." Naruto kept his attention on Hinata, "There's something that clicked with me and her. Two years of my life were spent with me living with her, I know everything about her and she knows everything about me. I trust her with everything, more than anyone else, she's with me in my dangerous life and I want to keep her safe and make her happy."

Hinata looked down, "So the time with me was just…"

Naruto cut that train of thought off, "No! It wasn't. I really thought I knew what I was doing when we had what we had. We never had any time to go further than a chaste kiss while we were together, I never even got to take you out and then I leave without telling anyone? If I was you I would have hated me."

Naruto walked closer to Hinata, "If I was your first I sure as hell won't be your last, not with you being as pretty and kind as you are. Please don't hate Akiza-chan, if there's anyone to blame then blame me. Hate me, do whatever you have to do to get over me, I can take it, just don't place this on her."

Hinata shook her head, "I can't hate you Naruto-kun. But, you're saying to get over you, I can't just do that after so many years of watching you. You inspired me to get stronger, you were something that I could never achieve, I looked at your confidence and saw how strong you had gotten and when I finally had you it was like I had reached the top of the mountain so to speak."

Naruto nodded in understanding, "I can't tell you what to do about that, but I can try to give you some advice on that. Find a new goal, I'm not a good goal to follow, I shouldn't be anyone's goal in life. That's too dangerous, there's a good reason why I shouldn't be with anyone, _period_. Several reasons actually." He finished in a mutter, "I do have one solution though."

"What?" Hinata asked curiously.

Naruto sighed and exposed himself for attack, "One shot, as hard as you can possibly muster anywhere on my body."

Hinata recoiled in surprise, "What?"

Naruto shut his eyes tightly and readied himself for whatever was to come, "You heard me. Haul off and hit me, just go for it. Anywhere you want-." He gulped nervously, "Anywhere at all."

Hinata simply stared at him and at her hands, then back at him before moving towards him. Naruto tightened up as he heard her footsteps heading toward him but had to open his eyes in shock as he felt her mouth against his. Feeling her begging for entry he let her tongue into his mouth. Hey, he did say 'anything'.

After a moment of that, Hinata broke away with a serene smile on her face. She placed her hand on Naruto's cheek and looked at his confused expression, "H-Hinata-chan?"

Hinata let go and walked past him, "You deserve your own chance to be happy. I'll see you around Naruto-kun." She turned back after a few steps and looked at Akiza, "You had better take care of him, or I will come looking for you. I promise."

Akiza nodded at Hinata, "I'll never hurt him. You have my word."

With that, Hinata left them in the woods alone. Naruto kept his eyes on the path she took to leave, "I was not expecting it to go down nearly that easily."

Suddenly a white-haired man landed, "I heard you were a dead man! What happened? How are you still standing?"

Naruto faced him, "Big Boss? No, Hinata-chan didn't kill me. She and Akiza-chan had a little scuffle and then we settled up that's all."

Jushiro had a defeated look on his face, "So there was no bodily harm done to you whatsoever?"

Naruto shook his head, "No, I have to say I expected to at least get a Jyuuken shot to my balls, but I guess she really is a sweetheart. She'll be just fine, I know she will."

Jushiro sighed, "Alright then." He then suddenly planted his shin between upwards Naruto's legs forcefully, lifting the blonde off of the ground with him letting out a pained groan.

"Fullmetal!" She looked up at Jushiro, "What kind of brother does that? I actually happen to like that part of his anatomy thank you!"

Jushiro shrugged, "You have no idea how our little family operates. I came here expecting testicles to be cupped in pain and that's what I'm getting by Kami. It doesn't matter if I had to do it myself or not."

Sasuke landed and noticed Naruto on the ground, "What the hell happened? Did I miss it?"

Akiza spoke up from her place on the ground, glaring at Jushiro, "Naruto's brother kicked him low because Hinata didn't kick his ass."

Sasuke looked down at Naruto who was laying face down on the ground moaning lowly and no doubt holding his junk before shrugging, "Oh well. These will have to do." Sasuke pulled out his camera and started taking pictures of the prone alchemist on the ground.

Akiza sweatdropped and crawled over to Naruto to stroke his head, "There's something wrong with the people in this village I swear. First there was the guy in spandex yelling at me and Fullmetal about how to have 'youthful relations' and now his own brother thinks kicking him in the balls is hilarious."

Sakura arrived and sighed upon seeing Naruto on the ground, "I'm so glad I learned how to heal these idiots." She walked over to everyone else, "Starting Shousen no Jutsu (Mystical Palm Jutsu)…"

* * *

**And that's done. Well, not done, we'll go back to this later as Hinata has a rather important aspect in the plot during a later arc but for now I believe I nipped that in the bud. I finished re-writing the earlier stuff in this story to make it read better and that was a 40 chapter pain in the ass to do. I'm tired and I have a test tomorrow. Time to study. Yeah right, study. Who studies?**

**Kenchi out.**


	55. Getting Back In the Swing

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Now enough with the necessary formalities of the dreaded disclaimer, on with the story!

**Chapter 55: Getting Back In the Swing**

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"Damn… Damn… Damn… Da-."

"Fullmetal! For the love of Kami, enough!" Akiza finally yelled across the training field at Naruto, "You have been trying to jump on that damn cloud ever since we got here today to train! The only time you stopped was at lunch when we were walking through town, and that was just because you didn't want people to find out what you were working on! At least you were smart enough to take your shirt off after the second attempt."

Naruto looked over at his agitated girlfriend, 'Uh-oh, twitching eyebrow… better run damage control before I end up not getting any tonight.' He walked over to Akiza an gave her a smile while running his hand through his drenched hair, "Well I have to work on the move Akiza-chan. I'm fully aware that this is possible, I can do it, it will just take time and practice like anything else. In the meantime I am going to be falling through this cloud a lot until I can find a way to stand on it."

Akiza nodded before frowning, "You're all wet."

Naruto grinned, "Well duh, I have been falling through a cloud for the last several hours, now give me a hug." He finished with his arms outstretched.

Akiza started backing away, "No way, you're totally soaked. Get away from me until you dry yourself off." She saw the glint in Naruto's eye as he started stalking her down and gave a stern look in warning, "Fullmetal no. Seriously, don't try it. I'm warning you, stop it now. If you get my clothes all wet for no reason I'm going to kick your ass."

Failing to heed her words, Naruto ran at her and after avoiding a few kicks that she let off as an attempt to follow through on her threat he tackled her to the ground and lay on top of her, "You see Akiza-chan, was that so hard? All I wanted was a hug."

Akiza laughed as she beat on Naruto's back to let her up, "You bastard. I'm going to kill you when you let me up."

Naruto smirked and pulled her to her feet before bringing her close and flaring his wind chakra around them momentarily, "And there you go, problem solved."

Akiza rolled her eyes with a smile on her face as she punched Naruto in the chest before fixing her blown around hair, "So when are you going out on missions again? I know you didn't just come back just so you can train somewhere familiar."

Naruto chuckled as they began leaving the training field to head home, "I don't know. I was never given an order to reassemble the team, I guess they're trying to figure how you'll end up fitting into the entire combination. Maybe they'll still have Kakashi run the show, or maybe they'll let me head up the team. I am a tokubetsu jounin now you know."

Akiza gave him a deadpan look, "Yes I know, you've only told me a thousand times over the past week. I get it."

Naruto put an arm around her and pulled her close, "Oh, don't feel bad Akiza-chan. You'll get bumped back up to jounin soon enough, I know it. There's no need to be jealous of me and my rise to the top."

Akiza growled before smirking at him, "If I get promoted before you get promoted I would outrank you. Would you like being bossed around by me honey?"

Naruto shrugged, "You do it in the bedroom, so I don't see why it shouldn't happen elsewhere." He then caught an elbow to the ribs for his trouble, "What? You know it's true. I still love you for it. At least you aren't ridiculously aggressive like I'm sure Sakura-chan is with Sasuke-teme." He laughed to himself, "She probably tormented his ass for the first few times they did it."

Akiza shook her head, "So I'm going to be on your squad."

Naruto nodded, "Yeah. I figured that it would be the best way to work you into the system, seeing as how it's my team, you know them somewhat already and they like you, and you've been working with me for two years so there's probably no one in the village with the continuity in battle that we would have. Are you okay with that?"

It was a good point. She didn't know anyone except for Naruto, Jushiro, Haku, Sasuke, and Sakura. Working with Naruto would definitely work her into the system, but honestly, she was actually relieved that she would be on Naruto's team, though she didn't openly show it, for reasons that only she knew about.

She smiled over at Naruto, "Yeah that's absolutely fine with me. I don't see how I could have possibly meshed with anyone else's team anyway, they would have mistrusted me."

Naruto scoffed, "If you don't believe in something, you don't believe in something. Iwa turned their backs on you first, I treat you better than they treated you and hopefully Konoha will too. I know Big Boss and Haku-neechan like you, Sakura-chan likes you, and Sasuke… doesn't hate you, and that's better than most people get so be proud of that."

"You're right I guess." Akiza rubbed her arm, "Are really going to go back through town without your shirt on?"

Naruto placed his hands behind his head, "Yeah. It's hot out here, and what do I care? Zabuza runs around shirtless all of the damn time and no one says shit to him. Although the fact that he carries that massive butcher knife with him might have something to do with that."

"What about your arm?" She asked, "Won't it bother you when you start getting questions about it?"

Naruto looked at his right arm, "No not really. It's better than being ignored, and if the adults were going to call me a freak anyway I could care less if they have an issue with the arm. No one calls any of the ninja that have lost limbs during their careers freaks or talks about them, they treat them like heroes, so again, what do I care?"

"I'll cut anyone who says anything bad about you in front of me in half." Akiza said darkly, "You're the greatest person I've ever been around Fullmetal and you really should be treated better."

"Meh." Naruto shook it off, "I have people that like me, people that care about me, and you. As long as you love me I don't really care what everyone else has to say. Don't do anything to make things difficult for you here over me Akiza-chan. I want you to be happy."

'You idiot.' Akiza thought as they began to emerge from the trees and enter the residential area, 'I'm here for you. How can I be happy if you aren't happy? I won't let anything hurt you Fullmetal, nothing inside of these walls or anything beyond them.'

XxX

Tsunade looked out at the four teens that were currently populating her office, "Do you know why I've called you here today?" She then sighed as two of them raised their hands, "Yes I know that you two know Naruto and Sasuke; that was a hypothetical question." They both lowered their hands, "Thank you. Anyway, I am reforming Team 7 with an extra member, Akiza."

Naruto rubbed his hands together anxiously, "So who's running the whole shebang-a-bang Tsunade-baa? Me? Please say me."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "If it's Naruto we're all dead." Sasuke nodded in agreement.

"That's not really true…" Akiza said, uninspired until both Sakura and Sasuke looked over at her, "Okay, it's based off of some fact I have to say."

"Hey…" Naruto said, "That's mean."

Tsunade placed her hands on her temple, "It's not him anyway. Three of you already know who this person is. Come on in."

In a puff of smoke a smiling man with his hitae-ate pulled over one eye and a facemask on appeared in front of them, "Hello everyone."

Naruto frowned, "Kakashi. So I'm not going to get to boss around Sasuke-teme, Sakura-chan, and Akiza-chan… That's disheartening."

"Afraid not Naruto." Kakashi chirped helpfully, "I get to boss around all of you. Now who's ready to take on our first mission as Team 7 again?" He asked brightly.

Sakura smiled at the thought, "As long as it's not D-ranked Kakashi-sensei."

Naruto curled his face in distaste, "If you think I'm going to sit through a D-rank as my first mission back you must be as dumb as I look. It's not like I need to be eased back in or anything, I've been fighting ever since I left so there's no need for that."

Akiza tapped Naruto on the back of the head, "Chunin and jounin don't get D-ranks Fullmetal. Stop being a pest to Hokage-sama before she pulverizes you."

Tsunade folded her hands under her chin and looked at Akiza with a smile, "I think I'm going to like you dear." Akiza smiled back at her, adjusting the brand new hitae-ate around her neck.

"Oh yeah…" Naruto grumbled, "Crack Naruto in the head a few times in public and everybody loves you, but when I hit somebody in the face for cracking wise at my whiskers we have to leave the restaurant."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "That's different. You're too spontaneous for your own good sometimes dobe."

"Spontaneous?" Naruto asked indignantly, "There's nothing spontaneous about the things that I do! You want to see spontaneous!" The doors to Tsunade's office opened as a messenger ran in, panting, "Like this guy right here." Naruto stopped the man from getting to Tsunade's desk, "Buddy, what's your name?"

The messenger blinked, "Me? I'm Saizo."

Naruto turned back to Sasuke, "You see? Saizo." Naruto then side-kicked Saizo, forcing his message scroll to fly into the air and land in Tsunade's hands, "You see teme! I just kicked Saizo in the face! _That's_ spontaneous!" Naruto then stormed out of Tsunade's office, mumbling the entire time about how he'd show you spontaneous, he then proceeded to kick three more office aides in the face that crossed his path as he walked out of the tower, cursing and mumbling followed him out.

Sasuke watched the wake of random violence left behind, "Hmm. Well I don't know if that was really spontaneous or not, but it was mildly entertaining to watch."

"Oh hell…" Tsunade said as she read over the scroll her office aide had delivered to her, "Someone go get Naruto, we have a first mission that's absolutely perfect for your team."

XxX

Naruto and Akiza stood at the main gate. After being caught up with right outside of the tower, he and she had gone home to grab their gear for a mission outside of the country. The mission; assist in the rescue of the Kazekage. Apparently a man in a cloak with red clouds engaged in battle against him above the village and upon defeating him abducted him.

Obviously Akatsuki, and Naruto was walking right into their clutches, but at the moment there weren't very many people on the planet better equipped towards facing off with them. Besides, how could it possibly get any worse than fighting a guy that couldn't die along with a guy that he had to kill five times in order to finish off? He wasn't concerned about that, but why the hell would Akatsuki be going after the Kazekage? That was something he would have to ask about when he got there. Man he wished he had finished his seal for this mission… Running across the desert didn't really appeal to him to be quite honest.

As everyone else on Team 7 appeared at the front gate soon thereafter, Naruto cracked his neck, "So is everybody ready to go? I know I wanted a combat mission for my first one back, but this is absurd. I didn't expect anything this big."

Kakashi shifted his pack on his back, "You're the next best thing to a full jounin now Naruto. With the rank you have now you'll be getting a lot of these kinds of things. I don't know if I told you this yet, but I am very proud of you." He turned to face Sasuke and Sakura, "Of all of you." He then gave Akiza an eye-smile, "And while I don't know you well enough to say so, I hope you'll make me proud too."

With that, the new line-up of Kakashi's squad set out towards Sunagakure. Kakashi was the jounin commander, the leader of the team. Naruto was clearly the front-line soldier, with Akiza his direct support in combat. Sasuke was the mid-range support and ninjutsu specialist. And Sakura was the long-range support and medic-nin of the team. If someone had asked him how he felt about this, Kakashi would have said he was damn excited to see what this squad could do, and he had a feeling he was going to find out and then some by the time the mission concluded.

Sasuke and Sakura had not fallen out of familiarity with one another, obviously being together they knew each other very well, and with both of them passing the chunin exam together that just added to it. They were actually ecstatic to have Naruto back on the team. He was good before he left and with all of the rumors trickling in about his exploits abroad, they were making him seem nigh unstoppable at this point. Akiza was a plus; they didn't know that much about her, but from the way Naruto spoke of her combat skills and how he told the story of their two full-scale fights back before he was ever even a high level bounty piqued their interest.

Akiza was alright with the way things were. She liked Naruto's team as Sasuke seemed like a good person if not a little prickish, but she could deal with that. Sakura was a good girl, and had been nothing but pleasant to her since her arrival, maybe she could be her first real friend in the new village. His jounin seemed like a good person and that person was Kakashi Hatake, 'Sharingan no Kakashi'. Seriously, she had just gotten through training with Jiraiya of the Sannin, her boyfriend was the 'Fullmetal Alchemist' Naruto Uzumaki, and her new team leader was Kakashi Hatake. It was like she was just running through the gauntlet of Iwa's current hit list as her personal acquaintances.

Naruto was pleased with the way things had turned out so far. Sasuke wasn't a prick after Sakura and Kakashi apparently straightened him out after his hellafied ass-kicking of a lifetime at the Valley of the End all those years ago. Sakura was as kind to him as she was starting to be by the time he had left and she seemed to get along great with his foreign girlfriend which was a plus in his book. Everything was coming up roses for the blonde at the moment, but he was still thinking about Akatsuki. Two down, seven to go. Who would he end up having to deal with this time, and why the hell were they after the Kazekage? Maybe he should have stayed in the office when Tsunade gave them the mission in the first place?

Eventually they came upon an outpost where they found a familiar face. Kakashi called out to her as they got close, "Temari-san!"

Temari had on a black colored robe with a red sash around her waist. She had on black gloves and a black hitae-ate around her head. She turned to face the group of ninja curiously, "What's going on? I just left Konoha and was on my way home."

Kakashi sighed, "That's kind of what this is about. The Kazekage has been abducted and we've been sent to help recover him."

Temari gasped as her eyes widened in shock, "Gaara! It can't be!"

Now that had fully caught Naruto's attention, "Gaara? No way, he's the Kazekage? Of course, why else would the Akatsuki be after the Kazekage so abruptly otherwise?" Realization then dawned on him, "Fuck! They've got Gaara? We've got to get over there!" He was _really_ cursing that his seal wasn't complete at this point. It would have been a boon towards his efforts to rush to Suna at this point.

Akiza latched onto his arm and rooted her legs into the ground to keep him from springing off towards the desert once more, "Calm down Fullmetal! Don't run right into trouble, what use would you be to the Kazekage if you went and got yourself caught too?" She gasped as he looked back at her with red bleeding into his normally blue eyes, "Seriously, calm down. Just wait for a minute. Please, for me?"

He let the blue seep back into his eyes before looking down, "Sorry Akiza-chan." Naruto then proceeded to walk off into the direction that his team had been taking to head to Suna, leaving everyone else standing at the outpost, some wondering what had just happened.

Kakashi walked up to her and put a hand on Akiza's shoulder, "Do you know about Naruto's 'power'?"

Akiza nodded, "He told me right before we got together. They don't know do they?"

Kakashi shook his head, "Sasuke has wondered about what Naruto used to beat him, but I've never told him what it was. I always told him that if he wanted to know he had to ask Naruto about it." He looked back at Temari, "You should come with us as we head to Suna. Everyone let's go."

XxX

After hours of running, the group eventually stopped near the border of Kawa no Kuni (River Country). Naruto simply stared at the fire that he had set up upon their arrival, not saying much of anything short of mumbling a thanks when food had been passed his way.

Temari looked out at Naruto who had Akiza sitting next to him with her head on his shoulder, "Why did you react the way you did when you heard about my brother being kidnapped?"

Naruto's eyes panned up and looked at her, "It's very personal. But trust me when I say, when I find the guys that did it, I'm going to tear them apart just like the last set I ran across."

Temari's eyes widened, "You know who did it? Who were they?" She pleaded with him for any information.

Naruto figured that at this point if they were going to rescue Gaara they at least needed to know what they were up against. Kakashi knew, Akiza knew, no one else did, and that just wouldn't do for them to go in half-cocked in this situation, "Gaara was taken by a group known by the name of Akatsuki. I've had two run-ins with them, the first time I was when I was twelve. I was completely destroyed. Sasuke was there, your brother is a member."

Sasuke's Sharingan activated for a second, "So we might see Itachi on this mission?" He said, as he calmed himself and deactivated it.

Naruto shrugged, "I couldn't say. There are nine members of Akatsuki. I killed two so far. Akiza-chan totally decimated one of them but he just wouldn't die. I had to really pull out the big guns to finish him off for good, and the other one that I fought had four extra hearts, so I had to kill him five times to win. I can only wonder what the rest of them are like, they're like boogeymen."

Sasuke remembered that day, "First they targeted you and now Gaara. What do you and Gaara have in common for these people to be after you."

Naruto let out a sigh as he felt Akiza tighten her grip on him, "If you guys are going to be on my team I guess it's time you find out once and for all what the deal is with me, it wouldn't be fair to put you into this kind of situation regularly without knowing why."

Kakashi chimed in, "Naruto are you sure you want to tell them about this now?"

Naruto nodded, "Like I said, if they're going to be my team they need to know this." He looked around the fire at everyone, "So you all obviously know the story of October 10th right?"

Sakura nodded, "Yes. Fifteen years ago the Yondaime Hokage defeated the Kyuubi and saved the village. We have a festival to celebrate it every year."

Naruto chuckled, "Yeah… I hate that damn festival."

Sakura looked at him oddly, "How could you hate the festival Naruto? It's the biggest event of the year in Konoha."

Naruto shrugged, "I wouldn't know since I've never gotten to go without being chased away. Chase me once, shame on me. Chase me twice, lose my arm… Chase me three times, well, I never tried going back after the second time." Akiza elbowed him in the side to let him know he was getting off topic, "Anyway. Does anyone here know how he did it? The one that knows exactly how it was done will receive all of my pay for this mission. Not you Kakashi." Naruto said, pointing at Kakashi as he lowered his head in defeat.

Sakura's eyes shone at the opportunity, but as she opened her mouth to answer she didn't have an answer, "I don't know. Sasuke-kun?" She asked.

Sasuke grunted, obviously unable to answer either, "Where are you going with this Naruto?"

Naruto smirked bitterly, "You're looking at the key to the whole thing. It was impossible for him to kill the Kyuubi so he had to seal it inside of something." He looked over at Temari, "Sounding familiar yet?"

Temari nodded as she actually understood where he was going with this. Naruto continued, "The only thing that could adjust to the massive power of the Kyuubi was the body of a newborn baby, since its chakra coils weren't developed and could withstand the massive amounts of demonic chakra. Why don't you go ahead and guess who the lucky, lucky kid just so happened to be? I'll give you a hint, who else do you know that was born on October 10th?"

Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other and shrugged in defeat, forcing Naruto to facepalm, "You rat bastards don't even know my damn birthday. I see how much you treasure our team dynamic. I'll be sure to remember that when July 23rd and March 28th roll around." Akiza looked up from his shoulder at him expectantly, "February 25th Akiza-chan, I know it." She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek."

Sasuke stared at Naruto in disbelief, "So that means that you were the one that was used as the container."

Naruto looked at him with a ghost of a smile on his face, "Congratulations, you are now the first of our generation of Konoha shinobi to know that this actually happened. How do you feel right now?"

Sakura almost fell back in shock, "So this entire time when I asked you why you were so disliked for no real reason-."

Naruto gave her a nod, "This is why. A reason I never had the option of turning down, and while these days it isn't nearly as bad as it once was, if you look around in Konoha you can still see it in the eyes of the older people; they don't trust me, they don't like me, and they would really all rather I disappear."

"So that power that you used after I called on Orochimaru's Cursed Seal…" Sasuke figured, "That was the power of the Kyuubi that you brought out to match it."

"You got it teme." Naruto said, "By the way, in case I didn't tell you, I'm truly glad you got over the whole Orochimaru thing, because there's someone in his little organization that I really want to run through with a dull arm-blade, and having you anywhere near the area I did it in as an enemy would have not been good for you." The group sat in silence for a while, "So does anyone have anything to say? Just being quiet about the whole thing is actually more unnerving than answering any questions you may have."

Temari took him up on this, "So that's why you were so fired up to get Gaara, because he's more like you than anyone would care to notice."

Naruto smiled at her, "You've got it. I'm not going to say I've had people trying to kill me since the age of 6 almost non-stop, but the one good time they tried one guy got my right arm. I do know what it's like to be seen as a monster, and hearing how he actually overcame all of that and became Kazekage just to get it snatched away by Akatsuki makes me want to hurt someone."

Sasuke looked at the fire for a moment before speaking, "What's it like? I ask because when I used Orochimaru's seal it was like a rush, a high, I felt so much power going through me and I knew that it was wrong, but with strength like it gave me I didn't care."

Naruto locked eyes with him, "It's not the same as when you used that messed up seal. I've always had it to some extent. When I would heal from stuff way faster than any of you ever could and be ready to fight again three times faster for five times longer than the rest of you, that's just one example. Tapping into Kyuubi-chan's chakra makes me more prone to killing stuff if that's what you're asking. And if I use more than I can handle I lose control and can go berserk, but I have a very good handle on that."

Now that comment dropped some jaws around the fire, "-chan? Kyuubi-chan?"

Naruto shrugged, "Yeah, Kyuubi-chan. Kyuubi's a girl. A hot girl. A _really_ hot girl." Akiza elbowed him in the side again, "What? I can't lie, I met her before I met you. I could have sworn I told Kakashi this already though. She's not bad. And I can tell you that the attack on Konoha wasn't just some random occurrence or some force of nature, it was orchestrated by someone."

"Who was it?" Sakura asked. This was some serious stuff. Who knew Naruto was really this important?

Naruto looked at Sasuke, "You're not going to believe me when I say it so please don't leap across the fire and attack me, I'm just the messenger."

Sasuke blinked, "Why?"

Naruto moved Akiza off of him in case Sasuke didn't listen to his previous instruction, "The guy that did it had a Sharingan, he used it to take control of her and make her rampage."

"What?" Sasuke asked loudly.

Naruto scratched his head, "I know it sounds totally improbable, but in a way it makes sense if you look at some other indicators. I completely and utterly suck at genjutsu, and no amount of work has ever gotten me past that point. Kyuubi-chan is barely better than me, and all she can do is let me know when I'm in one. That's why when we fight again even if I win I'm going to be more hurt than you because I'm going to have to keep hurting myself to break your stupid genjutsu attempts."

Sasuke's hands trembled, "Which one? Do you know which Uchiha it was?"

Naruto shook his head, "If I knew about it, you would too as we speak. I don't know. Look, we've gone way farther in this then I expected to. I just have one question; do any of you have a problem with me having Kyuubi-chan in me? It's as simple as that."

Sasuke had a stone look on his face before smirking, "You're no demon. No demon could be as goofy and airheaded as you are most of the time. You're not evil, you're my stupid dobe teammate."

Sakura smiled at him, "What Sasuke-kun said. You've already proven that you're a good person, and you're a good friend. You haven't done anything to make me believe that you're a destructive force."

Akiza scoffed, "He's destructive alright. You don't have to be a demon to be a menace to society. I had no clue you were so insane Fullmetal. I mean I had an idea, but living with you and your brother has finally given me all of the evidence I need to say that you are one mentally twisted man."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "You know you love it though."

Akiza smirked at him, "True enough."

Naruto looked over at Temari who had a dull look on her face, "So what about you Temari, does this bother you?"

Temari kept looking at him as if he were stupid, "I live with Gaara. Gaara, the 'I'll-kill-you-to-prove-my-existence' guy. He's not like that anymore after you beat him, but if I could deal with that kind of demon container for as long as I did what makes you think I would have a problem with you? Gaara's like infinitely more intimidating than you." She finished with a small smile.

Naruto grinned widely at everyone around the fire, "Well that certainly worked out well didn't it? I was expecting at least one of you to hate my guts before we were done here."

Kakashi gave Naruto an eye-smile, "Well Naruto it seems that there's nothing that you can do to make your teammates' opinion of you any lower than it already is."

Naruto's grinning face turned to him, "I know right… hey. That was mean Kakashi."

XxX

(The Next Day – Sunagakure)

Upon entering the desert, Naruto had cast aside his long-sleeved black button up shirt, leaving him in a black tanktop with his red cloak over it. Akiza had taken off her hoodie, leaving her in a mesh undershirt like Anko, however unlike Anko she wore a black training bra under it.

Akiza panted as they ran across the sands, edging ever closer to a dome-like structure, "I hate the desert so much. My complexion is dark enough thank you."

Naruto groaned at Akiza's complaints, "Whatever miss mini-skirt, at least it's tough for you to get sunburned. I have to either keep wearing this heavy thing and die of liquid deprivation or be as red as a lobster by the time we get to Suna.

Sasuke made his usual grunting noise, "Well then you two should have come dressed more aptly to the climate."

Naruto glared back at him, "Akiza-chan kind of did. I've been wandering for the last two and a half years, therefore I dress like a wanderer. When you wander you wear a cloak and heavy clothes, that's just what you do. I never came through the desert and learned my lesson because someone didn't like the climate and didn't even want to make an attempt." He finished, shooting a look at Akiza.

Akiza met his glare with a smile, "Even back then you were whipped weren't you? I should have taken advantage of that more than I did." That brought a round of laughs from everyone else.

Naruto looked at her with his eyes closed, "Well when I test out my seal by going on my trip all over the Elemental Nations, ambassador-style, I know who I'm not taking with me."

Akiza jumped into his arms and latched around his neck with stars in her eyes, "Please Fullmetal, don't shut me out like that! You know I've been excited about your seal since you started on it."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Yeah you were super-excited back when you were watching me rocket headfirst into the sides of mountains and stuff. Everybody wants a slice of the bread, but nobody wants to help the baker make it."

Kakashi looked back at Naruto, "You're working on a seal Naruto?"

Naruto almost dropped Akiza and stumbled before looking back at Kakashi sheepishly, "Um, no one was supposed to know about that until I was done with it."

Kakashi kept looking at him, "Can I get a hint on what it's supposed to do?"

Naruto turned back forward and sped out ahead of everyone else, "Nope!"

As he pulled away from the pack, eventually Naruto was forced to stop as a mass of shuriken flew at him, forcing him to block with his right arm to protect the girl on his back. Naruto and Akiza found themselves surrounded by Suna shinobi, "Tch. So this is what they do to people that come to help them." Naruto motioned his head to Akiza on his back who poured some water from her survival flask on the ground just as Naruto clapped his hands and placed them down.

The resulting transmutation made some form of fast acting quicksand that buried the Suna ninja all up to their shoulders. Naruto used the water walking technique to stay on top of it all as he looked down at them, shaking his head, "Note the hitae-ate assholes. Konoha. Ko-no-ha. You know, the place in the forest that's supposed to be allied with you?"

The rest of the squad caught up to see Naruto standing over a bunch of Suna ninja buried in the sand. Kakashi and Temari walked forward, "Naruto let them out."

Naruto clapped and placed his hands back on the ground to act accordingly with his order, releasing the astonished group of attackers, "Hey, I didn't do anything but hold them in place to defend myself, so don't call me a hot-head. If I was a hot-head I would have just let them sink straight to the bottom in a hurry."

He looked over at Temari, "I'm not in trouble for this am I? Because they threw stuff at me first."

The group of Suna ninja all ran up to Temari, "Temari-sama, Kankuro-sama has been poisoned trying to retrieve Kazekage-sama!"

Temari gasped, "Take me to him."

Sakura walked forward, "I'm a medic-nin that has trained under Tsunade of the Sannin, I may be able to help him."

XxX

"White Fang!"

All of the Konoha ninja had to stop and stare as a short old woman in the hospital room with Kankuro pointed at Kakashi, leaking killing intent before jumping off of the stool she was standing on to see up on Kankuro's operating table to rush at Kakashi.

Kakashi pointed at himself stupidly, "Who me?"

She ran at Kakashi with a blade drawn before Naruto and Sasuke both disappeared from view, reappearing on both sides of her with the blade of their sword/transmuted auto-mail plating at her neck. Naruto growled lowly, "What is it today with Suna ninja being so quick on the draw when it comes to attacking us? Is it me?"

Sasuke smirked, "Who knows? Maybe your stupid cloak reminds them of Akatsuki?"

Naruto scoffed in an amused fashion, "My cloak doesn't look anything like an Akatsuki cloak, nothing at all about my cloak resembles it."

The doctors in the room were surprised at the sudden actions of everyone involve in what had just happened, "Chiyo-baasama!"

An older man, close in age to Chiyo walked over to her, Naruto, and Sasuke, still with the boys holding her back, "Sister, that isn't the White Fang. He died years ago, remember? That is probably his son."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Yes, I'm Kakashi Hatake."

Chiyo looked at Kakashi before laughing oddly, "My mistake."

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other before putting their blades away. Temari ran into the room to stand by her brother's bed, "What happened to Kankuro?"

One of the medic-ninja explained the situation to her, "He went after Kazekage-sama's kidnappers and ended up being poisoned by Sasori. Not even Chiyo-baasama could come up with antidote that can cure him."

Another one spoke up, "It's a truly wicked creation. It paralyzes the victim and kills them in three days time."

Sakura walked forward towards Kankuro, "I believe that I'm able to extract the poison, if you're willing to allow me to do so."

Naruto whistled, "Extract the poison Sakura-chan? Baa-chan must have worked you in order for you to be able to pull that off."

She looked back at Naruto with a smile, "You weren't the only one training while time passed Naruto." She turned back to the medic-ninja and Temari, "I can help him, but we have to move quickly. I'll need a list of supplies to get started, if you'll be willing to cooperate with me."

Temari nodded as the medic-ninja spoke, "Yes of course, give us a list of what you need and we'll get it to you immediately."

With that being done, the rest of the Konoha ninja simply moved aside and let Sakura work and from there it was clearly evident what she was now capable of as a medic. Sakura skillfully extracted the poison from Kankuro's body and ran the room like an experienced doctor that should have been more than twice her age.

"Sakura-chan's really good." Naruto commented from the side, with Akiza asleep, head in his lap.

"She's really gotten better." Sasuke agreed, "After you stopped me from leaving she ended up getting training and was apprenticed to Hokage-sama. Trust me, this isn't the only thing she can do either."

Naruto's eyes widened, "Wait, you said apprenticed to her. Does that mean she knows the crazy, absurd, holy-shit-how'd-she-do-that-with-her-bare-hands strength thing that Tsunade-baachan can do?"

Sasuke let out a shiver, "Oh yeah. She can definitely do that. Trust me."

Naruto grinned, "Cool, because it's not like she can try to hit me anymore. I've got a girlfriend that has dibs on hitting me for being stupid, and she doesn't have super strength, so sucks for you teme."

Sasuke frowned, "That's not even fair."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Says the guy that can steal everybody's moves with a passing glance."

Sasuke chuckled, "You jealous?"

Naruto shook his head with a smirk on his face, "I'd be lying if I said no, but I've still got the alchemy. No matter what, you can never do that so there." Naruto looked down as he felt Akiza shift in his lap, "She always sleeps as close to me as she can."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "You have a problem with that?"

Naruto waved his hands in front of his face rapidly, "No, no, no. I love it actually, she's super-affectionate when she sleeps. But I'm saying _always_, like even back before we were together, since the first day we started travelling together. She thought I didn't know. Whenever I get up at night and come back I'll see her face twisted in misery, I don't know why. She won't tell me either." Naruto ran a hand through her hair, bringing a smile to her face.

Sasuke nodded, "You said that you wanted to destroy someone that worked for Orochimaru. Who is it? Why?"

Naruto sighed, "You know him. I want Kabuto's head on a silver platter one of these days. If I see him again, I'm going to do terrible, terrible things to him. Things that could get me tried for war-crimes if that piece of shit didn't already have crimes against humanity against him already."

Sasuke never really expected to see or hear Naruto speaking like this, "What did he do to you to make you hate him like this?"

Naruto looked down, "He made me fight my mother to the death."

Sasuke almost jumped out of his chair, "You know your mother? You fought her? To the death? How?"

Naruto motioned for him to sit while Kakashi was still over with Sakura, looking over her process with Kankuro, "He found me after I started travelling with Akiza-chan. Do you know that Orochimaru called upon the deceased souls of the former Hokages to fight Sarutobi-jiji during the chunin exam? Well he did that same thing to bring my mother back to life. He let her talk to me Sasuke. I heard her voice, I heard her call me son, and then I felt her kick my ass. Can you possibly imagine your own mother doing that to you for even a moment? I had to completely eradicate the body to win. She nearly killed me and Akiza-chan until I finally snapped out of it and finished the fight. Kabuto was long gone, and even if he hadn't left I wouldn't have been in any condition to pursue."

Sasuke simply sat in silence taking it all in, "So you finally understand how I felt when I was telling you about how much I wanted revenge."

Naruto nodded, "But I'm not going to lose my head over it, especially since as long as you and I are teammates and Orochimaru is still alive, if I hang around you or Ero-sennin long enough I'll end up getting my swing at that piece of crap since they want your Sharingan. You should be thinking the same way about Itachi actually."

Sasuke looked at him in a confused fashion, "What do you mean?"

Naruto grinned at him, "Itachi is a part of a group of criminals that want to kidnap me, and they travel in twos. What the hell do you think I mean? If you hang around me long enough, you're going to get your shot at Itachi, more or less one-on-one, and you won't ever even need to hunt him down. He'll come right to you, because you're with me."

That actually did end up putting a smile on Sasuke's face, "Did anyone ever tell you that you have momentary flashes of utter brilliance from time to time."

Naruto chuckled and looked down at Akiza, "Every two months I reserve the right to say something smart that makes you think."

XxX

(The Next Day)

Kakashi had sent for some sort of back-up during the night that would meet with them while they were in pursuit. Sakura ended up finishing her work on Kankuro and was able to analyze the poison and make up an antidote before getting to sleep late that night. Kankuro ended up getting a piece of cloth from Sasori during his fight and ended up giving it to Kakashi to track him when they set out the next day. Temari was asked to stay back by the elders of Suna, due to the lack of defense that the village had for the moment. She fought it at first but finally relented, knowing that Gaara would have asked her to do the same if he were actually there.

Naruto walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, "We're going to get him back, don't worry. We're more than enough to take those guys out. This is what I've been training for all of these years to get ready for."

Temari gave him a smile, "Good luck. Get him back for us Naruto."

Naruto gave her a thumbs up as he stepped back towards his team, "He'll be back before you know it."

Kakashi looked his team over, "Be ready to move fast today. We are now going to be in full pursuit mode and cannot afford to fall any further behind." He got four consecutive nods from his younger comrades, "Very well, now let's move out."

"Wait!" Chiyo yelled from atop a nearby building before jumping down and landing in front of the Konoha team, "I'm coming with you."

The kids all looked between each other before Sasuke spoke up, "We're going to be chasing some pretty powerful people here. Are you sure you need to bring yourself along?"

Chiyo scoffed, "I'm not just some weak old lady. I will be Suna's representative on this mission."

Kakashi shifted his pack on his back, "Very well, if that is what you request then you may come along with us. This is a Suna issue after all."

And with that they all set out once again, ending up in Kawa no Kuni once again. Since speed was the issue of the day here, Naruto had foregone his cloak and long-sleeve button up shirt, once again travelling with simply his black pants and black tanktop, drawing some questioning from a concerned teammate. Sakura noted how light Naruto was traveling, he didn't even have a pack with him like everyone else had, "Naruto where are all of your things? You barely have any equipment on you at all, just your kunai pouch."

Naruto looked back at her with a smile, "Because I came up with a solution to carrying so much crap with me to weigh me down. I haven't carried a pack on me in months." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack and then his cloak, "Behold! The power of fuuinjutsu!"

Akiza pouted, "I don't see why you didn't do that for my clothes…"

Naruto gave her a look, "Because when I said that in order to put it on your clothes I had to write visible seals on them you threatened to kill me. Otherwise your hoodie pockets would be brimming with all kinds of ninja goodies as we speak."

Sakura looked at Naruto curiously, "I don't see any seals on your clothes Naruto."

Naruto grinned back at her, "Because I'm already wearing black. I could have tons of seals all over me and you'd never know because you can't see them without some kind of doujutsu. But anyway, it's like a storage scroll only woven into my clothes. I've got the deepest pockets now, it's great! And as long as I have the same exact seal, down to the tee on any piece of clothing I buy, I can pull my things from the same personalized pocket dimension."

Sasuke looked at him thoughtfully, "That sounds seriously useful." He then activated his Sharingan to look at Naruto, "Whoa."

Naruto wagged his eyebrows, "I know right?"

Kakashi lifted his hitae-ate to see what Sasuke saw and whistled, "Whoa is right. Naruto that seal of yours is all over every inch of your pants. That is one elaborate seal."

"It's so worth it." Naruto said as he stuffed the things back into his pockets, "You have no idea. It takes tons of hours to make though… "

Sasuke smirked, "Alright dobe, how much money would it take for you to-." Sasuke stopped speaking as he felt a familiar presence nearby, 'No way… Here? Now?'

Naruto noticed how Sasuke had zoned out in the middle of his sentence, and swiftly followed him as Sasuke seemingly subconsciously sped up. As they broke through a line of trees, Naruto gasped before scratching his head alongside Sasuke who was glaring with his Sharingan fully out and blazing, "Well damn, I was talking about it last night, but I didn't really think it would be this soon. Kami, I'm bad luck… or good luck depending on who's being asked."

Sasuke simply kept staring out ahead, his hand moving towards his sword, "I would personally say good luck in this instance dobe, because I've been waiting for this for so long. It's been a while hasn't it?"

Staring back at Sasuke were a pair of impassive Sharingan eyes, "Hello little brother."

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**Chapter complete... thank God.**

**I'm sick as I post this, but it was so close to being done by the time I fell under the weather it would have been a shame to keep it waiting any longer just because I was sick. So for all of you, I fought through the sickness to bring you the next chapter. Enjoy the labor of the wounded.**

**I'm going to go sleep now… because staph infection is a BITCH! I'm going to find the guy I was grappling with that gave this to me and everyone else he rolled with that day, and backhand him with a studded leather glove on when I recover, because this shit isn't cool.**

**Kenchi out… **


	56. Blood in My Eye

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, then I would have made a mini-series that revolved around the childhood of Louis Alexander Armstrong and the events that made him into the man he one day became, likewise for Maito Gai. Would it scare the hell out of you? Yes. Would it amuse me infinitely? You bet your ass it would, and that's all that really matters.

**Chapter 56: Blood in My Eye**

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Naruto and Sasuke stared out at Itachi who was simply standing there watching them both. They had left everyone else in the dust when they tore through the trees to reach the clearing and they were simply observing each other for the time being.

Itachi finally spoke, "You've both grown so much over the last few years."

Naruto chuckled humorously, "Yeah, we're both full grown men now. Itachi, ask your brother if he's gotten laid yet. I want to see your expression actually change for once."

"Alright dobe enough joking around." Sasuke stated as he slowly started drawing his sword, "Are you going to help me? He's still got the Mangekyou Sharingan and even now I'm not sure I'm ready yet."

Naruto shook his shoulders out and transmuted his arm-blade, "Sure. I've still got a grievance against Itachi for the ass-kicking he gave me the last time around. By the way, where is your fine, fish faced friend?"

"Kisame won't be joining us this time." Itachi stated in his dull monotone, "I will be more than adequate to deal with you both."

Naruto shrugged, "Your funeral."

And with that he dashed directly at Itachi, only to cut out to the side as Sasuke leapt into the air, inhaling sharply, "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)!"

Itachi immediately returned fire at Sasuke and clashed fireballs with his little brother, only to take a quick slash to the side from Naruto who was using Sasuke's attacks as a form of misdirection to get close to Itachi. Itachi burst into smoke upon taking the blow, revealing that it was a Kage Bunshin, "Sasuke-teme, eyes open!" Naruto yelled at his teammate.

"Ha ha very funny dobe." Sasuke replied as he landed from his aerial attack. He tossed a kunai behind him as Itachi rushed from the surrounding trees that ended up being blocked by a kunai held in Itachi's hand. Sasuke rushed in and clashed his sword against Itachi's kunai but he was abruptly yanked away from the confrontation by Naruto, "What the hell?"

BOOM!

Itachi's body exploded, leaving a massive crater in the aftermath. Sasuke looked at Naruto in surprise as he let the Uchiha go, "Wha- How did you know?"

Naruto kept his eyes peeled on the battlefield around him, "Because that's my move." Naruto clapped and transmuted a dome of earth around both of them, enclosing them from sight. Before anything could be done about it the dome receded back into the ground to reveal Sasuke and Naruto charging out from it.

Naruto growled, "Where the hell is he?"

Sasuke kept his eyes working around the area, but he didn't sound any better off than Naruto did, "Calm down Naruto. Just be ready for anything."

Naruto scoffed, "Easy for you to say. You have eyes that let you see everything coming in slow motion. All I have are good old-fashioned reflexes… Hey Sasuke-teme, when you die can I have your eyes?"

Sasuke had to do a double take at Naruto, "What?"

Naruto groaned, "Oh come on! Kakashi has one! Just put it in your will or something, 'When I die, give one or both of my Sharingan eyes to Naruto Uzumaki to implant into himself at his leisure.' I would love you forever teme."

Sasuke turned around and shouted at Naruto, "You are the stupidest person in the entire world! We're in a fight right now if you hadn't noticed and you're talking about my damn Sharingan!"

Naruto got up in Sasuke's face, "Don't talk ugly to me, it was just a suggestion. I wouldn't run out of chakra the way Kakashi-sensei does, and who knows what Kyuubi-chan's chakra would do to it. If I had a Sharingan eye I could wear Itachi's ass out in no time flat, fact."

"I'm not too sure about that Naruto-kun." Itachi appeared seemingly out of thin air, locking eyes with the blonde shinobi and his little brother, "You're both trapped. My Sharingan still trumps yours Sasuke, you can't escape."

Naruto and Sasuke smirked painfully, "In that case- Boom!"

Both 'Naruto' and 'Sasuke' detonated in a massive explosion, shrouding the entire field in debris. A loud clap sounded out before a bright flash of light shone out and the ground separated to reveal the real Naruto and Sasuke had been hiding underground. Both boys jumped out of the hole and surveyed the damage. Naruto grinned and yelled, "Don't steal my damn moves Itachi! I was using Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion) as a trap technique since the first time I used it!"

"I already knew that jutsu before I saw you do it Naruto-kun." Itachi said as the smoke cleared, "That's one move that the Sharingan cannot copy. Now let us continue." With that, Itachi vanished from sight and reappeared between both boys, Sasuke was able to dodge Itachi's attempt at a strike, but Naruto was unable to see it coming and ended up eating a punch. He simply ground his feet into the earth and held his ground as he and Sasuke locked eyes for a moment.

Naruto and Sasuke both attacked; Naruto slashing at him with his arm-blade, Sasuke with his chokuto. Both attacks cut into Itachi, but his body turned into a mass of crows, leaving Sasuke and Naruto's blades to clang against one another. Naruto growled at how fast Itachi still was, "Come on magic-eyes, use those peepers and give me a location before I get kicked in the face."

Sasuke's eyes turned and he whipped out two shuriken, both of which were dodged by Itachi as he came in to attack Sasuke. Naruto jumped in between the two Uchiha brothers and swung away at Itachi with his blade, which Itachi parried with a kunai. Naruto bit his tongue and clapped his hands before spitting the blood at Itachi's face in a fine mist, blinding the Uchiha and taking his powerful eyes away from him. Sasuke jumped over Naruto and slashed through Itachi's body, revealing it to be another clone.

Naruto glared at the trees surrounding them, "Man fuck this. Let's just burn him out."

Sasuke looked at Naruto like he was an idiot, "Do you have any idea how much chakra that would waste? I'm not a damn human power generator like you."

A grin crossed Naruto's face as he pulled on a white glove, "I didn't tell you to do anything, just stay out of my line of fire and everything will be cool. I'm sick of you Uchiha spamming fireballs all over the place. Check out my answer to that." Naruto aimed at the trees around the outskirts of the field, "Flame alchemy!" Naruto rubbed his index finger and thumb together causing friction that made a pop noise as a spark formed and expanded into a massive flame that Naruto sent directly into the trees surrounding both he and Sasuke.

In a matter of moments, Naruto had burnt up the foliage around them, forcing Sasuke to sweatdrop, "I think your Iwa-girl was right when she called you a weapon of mass destruction."

A set of shuriken peppered the landscape where the two had been standing, forcing them to separate. Naruto turned his head towards the direction he was going to land in and cursed when he saw Itachi standing there staring at him. Even though he knew absolutely what would happen if he had looked into Itachi's eyes it was far too late as he had already done it when he looked in that direction.

Naruto found himself in a dark empty space, and then he realized what the genjutsu was. His body was seemingly made of paper, and it had been set on fire from the ground up. He bit back a scream and simply looked straight ahead of him defiantly. He couldn't see Itachi, but he was certain that he was looking right at him. Naruto then felt a foreign chakra invade his system and break him of the genjutsu as he focused on Sasuke snapping his fingers in front of his face to get his attention.

"You really are still a sucker for a genjutsu dobe." Sasuke said as he looked ahead of him at Itachi.

"Sasuke." Itachi started, "You had a clear opening at me and you use it to get your teammate out of trouble. What happened to your undying hatred of me?"

Sasuke smirked, "What is it Itachi? Upset that you don't matter? The dobe brought up an excellent point yesterday. As long as he's alive and still has the Kyuubi in him you have to come after him sometime, and whenever you do, anytime, anyplace, I'll be right there in your face to stop you. There's no rush. As long as Naruto is in one piece I'll have all the shots at you I need to put you down once and for all."

"That was touching teme…" Naruto said with a feint sniffle, "I knew you cared. Now let's finish your brother off and go get Gaara away from these assholes."

Sasuke looked at him, "You've got a plan?"

Naruto scoffed, "Plan? Who the hell do I look like? I'm a direct combat specialist, leave the plans to the smart people. We run over there and mush his face into the red clay, that's my plan."

"A simple plan for a simple dobe." Sasuke said as he channeled chakra to his right arm. Lightning crackled around it, bringing up the chirping of one-thousand birds. He turned his attention to Itachi, "The last time I tried this you were fast enough to catch it. Let's see you catch it this time." Sasuke took off at a blinding speed at Itachi who simply stood in place preparing to do just as he had done three years ago and catch Sasuke's attack bare handed.

As Sasuke drew near, something felt off to the rogue Uchiha, and this was given good reason when the jutsu around Sasuke's hand extended forward ahead of him and pierced Itachi through the chest, "Wh-What?"

Sasuke smirked, "Chidori Eiso (One Thousand Birds Sharp Spear)."

Itachi smirked a bloody smile, "You've come far little brother. But you've let your hatred falter!" Itachi's eyes took on the shape of the Mangekyou, and his face took an insane degree as he attempted to make perfect eye contact with Sasuke.

CLAP

"Then I'll just have to pick up his slack won't I?" Naruto rushed past Sasuke's Chidori variation that held the dangerous man in position and placed his left hand on Itachi's head. A look of surprise was the last facial expression he was able to make before his brains were literally blown out of the back of his head.

Naruto removed his hand from the man and let his body slump face first to the ground, letting Sasuke see just what he had done to finish the fight. Sasuke looked down at the body, "How long have you been able to do that?"

Naruto sighed and looked at his bloodstained left hand, "Since the day I knew how to use circle-less transmutations… The three basic sequences of alchemy are comprehension; knowing the inherent properties of the molecular or atomic makeup of a material, deconstruction; using energy to break down the physical structure of the identified material into a more malleable state so it can be more easily reshaped, and reconstruction; continuing the flow of energy to reform the material into a new form. I stopped at step two."

An understanding grimace crossed Sasuke's face, "Ew… I see."

Naruto clinched and released his fist, "I never used it on anyone before, not a real human being anyway."

Sasuke nodded wordlessly but kept his eyes on the downed body, "That was too easy. If that were the real Itachi even if we had both somehow survived there's no way we would be standing right now."

Naruto frowned, "It seemed like Itachi." He then worked his jaw, "He sure hit like Itachi, that's for damn sure. Go ahead and ask me how I know."

The rest of the retrieval party landed and saw the destruction from the short battle and saw Sasuke and Naruto standing over the dead body. Sakura ran up to both boys, "What happened here, are you both alright?"

Akiza whistled at the scene, "Gosh Fullmetal, can you go anywhere without drastically altering the terrain?" She then looked at the body at their feet, "You actually used that move on somebody? The only time you've ever used that move was when I was using Iwa no Yoroi. What the hell did it do to an actual human body?"

Naruto pointed down, "You can clearly see what it did to a human body."

Sakura cringed at the sight, "You pulverized the inside of his skull… What a horrific assassination jutsu, to simply straight out destroy organs like that."

Naruto kept staring at the blood on his hand from his barbarous extermination, "Not a jutsu."

Kakashi looked at Sasuke and Naruto, "Why did you two run off to engage this man alone? What if it had been someone that you two couldn't have beaten?"

Sasuke looked at Kakashi, "It was Itachi. I ran off, Naruto simply backed me up. But this isn't Itachi. I'm certain of it."

Chiyo walked over, "The boy is correct. This is not Itachi Uchiha." She turned the body over to reveal that the face was utterly different from Itachi's distinctive appearance, "This is Councilor Yuura. This man was in command of Suna's defense for years. To think that Akatsuki had influences this far into our village."

"You two were fighting Itachi Uchiha?" Akiza asked in a voice of surprise until she got a look at her boyfriend. She went next to Naruto and nudged him when she realized he was still looking at his hand, "Are you going to be alright Fullmetal?"

Naruto looked up at her and nodded, "Yeah. I'll be fine. It's just, that was a really violent kill. I knew what was going to happen but I never pictured so much… gore from it. And I used that on you to practice doing it on the fly. What if your armor hadn't been in the way when I was doing it Akiza-chan?"

Akiza pulled Naruto into a hug, "Better him than you. I would much rather deal with that man's death than yours. We're ninja Fullmetal. Death is basically par the course, you know this. All of your kills can't be pretty and clean like you're used to. Sometimes they have to be a little nasty like this one. And it was just training, that was why we did it the way we did, so you wouldn't mess up and kill me."

Naruto sighed, "Fine. You're right. There's no time for this anyway, we still need to go get Gaara."

Sasuke kept looking down at the body double of Itachi, "Yeah…"

The team continued its pursuit of the Kazekage's kidnappers swiftly to make up for the time lost from the fight with the shapeshifter. Sakura looked at Sasuke in concern, "Sasuke-kun are you sure you're alright?"

Sasuke nodded, "Yes I'm sure. But that battle didn't do anything to reassure me at all. He didn't even come close to going all out. He didn't do anything that reminded me of just what the real Itachi is capable of. I'm still not ready yet…" He subconsciously clinched his fists, something that Sakura noticed.

"Sasuke!" Kakashi called, getting his attention, "You keep on forgetting, when it comes time for you to truly face your brother down, you won't be alone. You'll have each and every one of us behind you the entire time." Kakashi gave him an eye smile, "And if you don't think you're strong enough there's only one thing you can do about that. Train until you are strong enough."

Sasuke nodded and a small smile worked its way to his face. He would be ready when it came time to go up against Itachi for keeps, he would have to be.

Naruto was also getting testy, but for an entirely different reason, "We got sidetracked by that useless fight. If only I could have finished my seal I could have found Gaara and dragged him back home in time for dinner. Come to think of it, who the hell could beat Gaara in the desert? You couldn't force me to fight Gaara in the desert and I all but neutralized him last time around."

Akiza spoke from directly next to him, "Well we're going to find out in just a moment aren't we? Get your head back in the game Fullmetal, if we were fast enough to stop them from taking the Kazekage's biju then who cares?"

Chiyo spoke up, "Aside from apparently Itachi Uchiha and the man that defeated the Kazekage over the village there is also the man that defeated Kankuro. The legendary puppeteer of Sunagakure; Akasuna no Sasori. He defected from our village shortly after it was revealed that he had been making puppets out of human beings."

The blonde of the party grit his teeth, "And this guy has Gaara? Damn it!"

Naruto finished kicking himself in the rear for no good reason and the group of five Konoha ninja and one Suna ninja continued to press forward following the trail to Gaara. Eventually they came to the entrance of a cave and were swiftly joined by a second team from Konoha to back them up, led by Kakashi's pug Pakkun.

"Ah Kakashi." Maito Gai stated as he lead his team towards Team 7, "We wasted no time in getting here after getting word that you required assistance to save the Kazekage."

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go in there and kick their asses already." Akiza quipped as she summoned Sekki Kiritateru and started heading towards the entrance before being pulled backwards sharply by her arm, "Fullmetal what the hell?" Naruto walked ahead of her and silently pointed to a seal, getting her to blush in embarrassment, "Oh, nevermind then."

Naruto inspected it and frowned, "This is the Gofuu Kekkai (Five Seals Barrier). We aren't going to just break through this thing it will repel any attack we send against it, even if we all used our strongest jutsu at the same time it would just mess us all up instead."

Chiyo walked up and examined the seal alongside Naruto, "This seal has five different weak points counting this one. We need to find the rest of them and tear them off at the same time to bypass this barrier."

Team Gai volunteered to head out and remove the other parts of the seal, leaving Team 7 to simply sit and wait for a signal that they were in position. Akiza sat and watched Naruto pace about, "What if we weren't fast enough and they got the biju out of him?"

Naruto gave her a serious look, "Then they had better develop the ability to teleport, because they damn sure won't be walking out of here if I have anything to say about it." His face softened at that, "Akiza-chan, don't allow the curse of your weapon to take hold here. Please promise me you won't activate it the way you did when we beat those guys outside of Konoha."

Akiza nodded, "I promise. The only reason I did it then was because I couldn't kill my opponent and I wasn't sure that I could hold out long enough for you to show up. If I used it I would be just as likely to turn on others around me as to fight my opponent. You're the only one that can calm me down when I try it."

Naruto frowned, "I don't like when you use it. You stop worrying about your own well-being and end up half-dead afterwards. We have an entire two squads backing us up so there won't be any reason to use it."

"Worry about yourself and everyone else Fullmetal." Akiza dismissed as she stood up, "We have a job to do, and I'm not letting those bastards do to anyone else what they've been trying to do to you." She then laughed slightly, "Besides, I doubt the guys we're fighting this time are immortal… Kami I hope they're not immortal."

Naruto was about to let out a chuckle when the barrier fell, "Alright that's our cue!" He shouted as he abruptly leapt to his feet.

Kakashi nodded, "Let's go save the Kazekage."

As the group rushed inside, they found a hunched man and a man with a blonde ponytail waiting for them. Chiyo simply glances at the hunched man, "Sasori."

The man spoke in his gruff voice, "Well look what we have here Deidara, the Kyuubi jinchuuriki and my elderly grandmother."

The thing that was pissing Naruto off however was that the blonde man, Deidara, was sitting on Gaara like a chair, "Oh yeah, you're dead." Naruto growled out.

"Nope." Deidara replied, "That's him, un." He said, pointing down at Gaara.

"Gaara!" Naruto shouted, "Don't let this asshole sit on you! Get up and squish him like an ant already!"

The blonde man rolled his eyes, "In case you didn't hear me the first time I said he's dead. See?" He rapped on Gaara's head with his fist a few times, "He's not going to respond kid, that's what dead people do; they just sit there, un."

Naruto simply stared wordlessly with his mouth slack until he steeled his features and transmuted his arm blade, "I'm going to cut you into ribbons, and then I'm going to make the other guy beg Kami for forgiveness before I end your miserable lives."

"Ooh, angry, un. Well, it's been a blast kidnapping your Kazekage and extracting his biju, but we're both busy men and have places to be so…" Deidara threw something at the ceiling and blew an opening from it before forming a massive bird of clay and jumping on it with Gaara's body and flying away.

Naruto growled, "It's not going to be that easy you son of a bitch!" Naruto clapped his hands and placed them on the ground to raise a platform for himself to head out through the opening after the blonde Akatsuki member.

Kakashi cursed, "Damn it. Sasuke! You're with me! Sakura, Akiza, stay here and hold off Sasori until Team Gai can get here to back you up." With that, the two Sharingan users channeled chakra to their feet and ran up the pillar that Naruto had raised to lift him outside the hideout.

The two girls nodded. Sakura placed a pair of black gloves on her hands, 'Can we really hold back an S-rank criminal like this all on our own?'

Akiza spun her halberd around in her hand and pointed it at Sasori, "Well Fullmetal said that one of you was going to get cut into ribbons. I hope he doesn't mind if I make you out to be the one that takes that little punishment, I'm better at it than he is."

Sakura looked at Akiza incredulously the way she had just basically called out a dangerous criminal while keeping a straight face. Chiyo moved between the two girls and faced Sasori down with them, "We can defeat him. Simply keep your wits about you and stay on your toes."

Sakura looked at the determined look on Chiyo's face and the confident look on Akiza's before putting one of her own on, "Right." 'I've been training for years so that I could stand beside Sasuke-kun and Naruto when he came back. This is my chance to prove that all that time wasn't wasted.'

"Okay then." Akiza stated, "You two are supposed to be medics, well I'm your direct combat specialist here, so here I go!" She rushed at Sasori who simply stood in place waiting for her until she got too close and an iron tail came from behind Sasori's body in an attempt to impale the girl. Akiza leapt aside and thrusted her halberd out, "Hirogeru (Extend)!"

Sekki Kiritateru's blade extended towards Sasori who simply turned his back and let the blade bounce off. Akiza growled as she forced her blade to return to normal, "Tut. Another one of you freaks… Why can't Fullmetal be pursued by people that are normal and easy to kill? It would certainly make our lives far simpler."

Despite not taking damage from Akiza's attack, Sasori's robe was in tatters. The girl squinted and saw parts of some kind of face on his back, "Since I don't like waiting and apparently neither do you little girl, I'll end this quickly."

"Come and try it then." Akiza beckoned him to fight her with a one handed gesture.

"Hmm." Sasori started, "My grandmother and the pink-haired girl seem like they would get in our way so I'll just get rid of them first." From the wrapping around his mouth, Sasori shot off a rapid stream of senbon at Sakura and Chiyo.

Luckily, one of the main things drilled into Sakura's being by Tsunade during her training was how to evade danger and keep herself from taking damage, as she had to be the one to be able to heal everyone after a battle was over. She and Chiyo jumped around the area, dodging the projectiles.

Akiza cursed, "Get over here now! Doton: Doryuuheki (Earth Release: Earth Style Wall)!" She made four rapid hand-seals and spit out a stream of mud that composed into a solid wall in front of her. Sakura and Chiyo quickly made their way behind it for cover where Akiza had words for Chiyo, "He's your grandson? Your grandson is a douchebag!"

Chiyo looked at her dryly, "Noted. Now what kind of plan do you have for handling him?"

Akiza scratched the side of her face sheepishly, "I was never much for any kind of plans, even ones made up on the fly. Spontaneous plans were always more Fullmetal's thing. I just know that I'm supposed to take the pointy end of Sekki Kiritateru and stick in somewhere vital inside of that guy until he stops moving."

Sakura sweatdropped, "Wow… You two really were meant for each other weren't you?" The banter was cut short as some kind of torpedo looking thing landed on their side of the wall, "Oh that really can't be good…"

Chiyo's eyes widened, "Get away from it now!"

The piece was rotating rapidly and shooting wooden cylinders that then opened to fire large amounts of senbon out at all three kunoichi. Chiyo got behind the other side of the wall as the other two girls were forced in other directions by the way the senbon were distributed.

Sakura nimbly avoided the senbon due to her medic-nin training, "Are you alright Akiza-chan?" She shouted to her teammate.

Akiza grunted in affirmation as she batted away all of the senbon with her rapidly rotating halberd, "I'm fantastic! I love sitting back and batting away senbon like mosquitoes. This is starting to piss me off!" She said with a tick mark forming on her head.

Chiyo called out to the girls evading the needles, "Take care to make sure that you dodge every last one of those senbon. Sasori coats all of his weapons in poison, be careful lest you end up like Kankuro did."

As the volley of metal needles died down, Sasori spoke up, "Quite correct. I'm certain that the boy was in agony after our little run-in, a shame that I couldn't take him and use him as one of my human puppets, but it seems to me that after I finish you all off you'll all do nicely on that front."

A quiet laugh was the response from Akiza as she made one-handed hand-seals, "Allow me to respond to that in the following manner. Doton: Iwa no Kougeki (Earth Release: Rock Attack)!" Akiza finished her seals and swung the free arm she had used to make the seals at Sasori to get mounds of rocks to shoot out of the ground at him.

Sasori's iron tail extended and intercepted the rocks before swinging out to the side to intercept Akiza who used her jutsu as a diversion to get in close and attack his blindside. The tail impaled Akiza, getting a gasp from Sakura who was watching until the body on the end of the tail turned to mud and oozed off of the edge, "Maybe this one has some talent."

"You don't know the half of it… Doton: Retsudo Tenshou (Earth Release: Tearing Turning Earth Palm)!"

The ground around Sasori started to spiral inwards on him, sucking him in and attempting to bury him alive. The pressure from the manipulation of the ground brought the chunks of the cave down around everyone inside. As pieces of fallen stone hit Sakura and Chiyo their crushed bodies turned to mud.

XxX

Outside of the cave, Akiza stood with her hands against the wall and a smirk on her face, "And that's how you handle that. Who needs backup?"

Chiyo shook her head, "It's not over yet. The body that you saw wasn't truly Sasori, it was his favorite puppet Hiruko. Sasori was inside of it, using it like armor. Though it has changed since the last time I saw it."

Akiza frowned and picked her weapon back up, "Well then at the very least we cracked open the tough shell, now we can get to the soft, squishy, vulnerable puppeteer on the inside. Maybe he'll be easier to stab now." She led the way back inside of the cave.

The three women looked around for any sign of Sasori. Sakura spoke up hopefully, "Maybe Akiza-chan's last jutsu really did finish him off?"

Akiza frowned, "No… From just one run-in with these temes I can safely say that none of them die that easily. He's still in here, there's no way a guy like that is going to just cut and run without at least trying to get a payback swipe at me. I did break his favorite puppet after all."

"You're half right." A youthful voice called out amid the rubble that Akiza's technique produced, "Hiruko was my favorite regular puppet, my favorite personal creation. But he wasn't my very favorite puppet overall."

Chiyo stared at the figure that rose up in surprise, "Sasori… Kami… You don't look a day older than you did twenty years ago."

His true appearance, a quite youthful looking red-haired man not a day over twenty years old at first glance and from the sound of his voice, Sasori looked over all three women in a cool, calm fashion, "And you look as decrepit as one can get without being buried in the ground Chiyo-obaasan." He then pulled a scroll from his Akatsuki robe, "Now, let me show you my true favorite puppet. It was quite the challenge to get, and obaasan, you would be the most familiar with this one."

In a puff a smoke, the puppet draped around Sasori forced Chiyo's jaw to drop at the sight she was now seeing, "It can't be… the Sandaime Kazekage."

Sakura gasped in shock and Akiza slumped her shoulders in resignation, "Oh crap... I'm going to kick Fullmetal's ass when we get out of this for making me fight a reanimated kage. I'm certain that he's not having nearly as rough a go of it as we are."

XxX

Naruto simply stood atop the cave that the girls were fighting in alongside Sasuke and Kakashi. He let out a smirk as he felt the tremors coming from within the cave, 'Atta girl Akiza-chan.' It soon left his face as he kept staring up, "Why don't you come on down here and we can talk about this. I promise I won't disembowel you with my auto-mail arm. Just give me Gaara back."

Deidara stared down at Naruto with an amused look on his face, "Gee, with such an enticing offer like that how could I ever refuse, un? How about no." He patted Gaara's body which was right next to him on his clay bird, "I like this guy right where he is, and if I came down there what would stop you from disemboweling me with your real arm?"

Naruto let a ghost of a smile cross his lips for a second, "Oh well, you got me." His face hardened, "Well if you're not coming down to me-." Naruto clapped his hands and transmuted his arm-blade before clapping again, "I'll be coming up to you." He placed his hands on the ground to force a piece of ground up that shot him into the air at Deidara.

* * *

**Chapter complete. Yes I realize that I haven't made one this short in forever but seeing as how it's the middle of a fight and picking spots to break off when you're writing them is a pretty tricky art I decided to stop here for this chapter.**

**I love random gambling, especially when I'm so good at it. I just netted a cool 100 bucks with another 60 coming soon. I know in the real world with adults that pay mortgages and shit that isn't much, but I'm a broke-ass college kid, and this means I've got Top Ramen for the rest of the semester and then some WOO-HOO! I'm not going to starve!**

**It's 1:30 in the morning. I'm wiped.**

**Kenchi out.**


	57. The ArtScience of CreationDestruction

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. However, if any of you in fact _do_ own either one than feel free to transfer control of the asset to me and I will graciously and humbly accept… or maybe just the amassed income would work for me just fine.

**Chapter 57: The Art/Science of Creation/Destruction**

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Naruto rocketed through the air at Deidara who dodge and let Naruto fly towards the cliff before attempting to fly off out of his range, "What was that, un? If that's the best you can do then you'll never get your dead buddy's body back."

Naruto stuck to the cliff with chakra and sprang back towards Deidara again who simply maneuvered his bird out of his path again, making Naruto narrowly miss to taunt him, "Ooh, so close, un."

Naruto immediately made a Kage Bunshin and springboarded off of the clone right at Deidara too close for him to dodge. Naruto kicked Deidara right in the face, catching the man off guard as he sure hadn't expected Naruto to make a temporary platform in mid air, let alone one that could actually reach him. Before he could fly too far off into the air, his bird kept him from falling and kept him in flight.

Naruto landed back on the ground next to Kakashi and Sasuke as Deidara regained his composure and looked down at them all, wiping the blood from his lip. Deidara smirked down as he focused in on Naruto, 'Now's my chance to take the Kyuubi jinchuuriki as well and one-up that bastard Itachi. This kid was supposed to be his mark after all.'

Deidara patted Gaara's lifeless body which was right next to him, "I hope you're going to put up a better fight than this guy did, un."

Sasuke smirked as he turned on his Sharingan while looking up at Deidara, "Are you sure you want that, because from what I can see, Gaara kind of took your arm off at the elbow. Do you really want Naruto to do anything worse than that?"

Deidara's eyes turned to Sasuke, who he had been overlooking at that point. Upon getting a good look at him his eyes widened in anger, 'He looks just like that bastard! And those damned eyes of his, mocking my art!'

Naruto looked over at Sasuke when he noticed Deidara's stare fixed on his Uchiha teammate, "Okay, here's the plan. I'm going to find some way to get up there, and then I'm going to cut him into thin little slices. You two can do whatever you want. Sounds good? Great, go Team 7!" Naruto moved to begin his 'plan' when Kakashi grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back, "Oi! What Kakashi?"

Kakashi had lifted his hitae-ate and now had his own Sharingan out as he looked up at Deidara, "Naruto can't you see he's trying to lure you out to capture you? You are his group's objective and separating you from us would be the easiest way for him to get you."

Naruto looked between his squad leader and the target of his ever fluctuating rage and anger, "Well yeah, but if I don't go up there and chase him then he'll just leave, then he'll come back later and try to get the drop on me. On the other hand, why can't I just kill him now and take out another member of Akatsuki? That would make four down since that other guy in the cave isn't going to be around for too much longer."

Deidara let out a laugh from above, "You guys might want to go back inside and get those women out of trouble. Sasori no Danna is stronger than me, he'll turn both of those little girls into human puppets for sure."

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other for a moment before simultaneously breaking down in laughter, leaning against each other to keep from falling out on the ground. Deidara got a tick mark on his head as Naruto pulled himself up first, wiping a tear from his eye, "Oh man. You're making it really hard to stay pissed off at you when you say funny shit like that to my face."

Sasuke nodded, "He thinks they're going to lose? Does he have any idea how screwed that Sasori guy is?"

Deidara's demeanor turned murderous when he saw Sasuke laughing at him, however the two boys weren't really paying him much mind. Naruto pointed down, indicating the inside of the cave, "Akiza-chan is going to cut that guy up, just like what I'm going to do to our airborne Akatsuki friend."

Currently, Deidara was torn between attempting to continue his plan to separate Naruto and attempt to capture him, run away from the three ninja, or stay and fight in an effort to remove three more Sharingan eyes from the world. The choice however, was taken away from him when Naruto transmuted a rising platform to meet Deidara in the air again.

Deidara took flight even higher to avoid contact while he formed a clay sculpture and threw it down below. The sculpture bomb exploded on contact with Naruto's platform and crumbled it, forcing Naruto to jump away and watch as Deidara began to retreat, "Kakashi! Sasuke!"

Kakashi looked down as he didn't feel comfortable with leaving the others alone when Naruto yelled, "They'll all be fine! This guy's still got Gaara's body, and I'm not letting him get away!" He said before he ran off in pursuit of the one-armed Akatsuki operative.

"Damn it Naruto…" Kakashi mumbled as he and Sasuke followed suit and ran behind the blonde jinchuuriki.

XxX

Chiyo, Sakura, and Akiza looked on in apprehension at the sight of the Kazekage's corpse being controlled by Sasori. The two younger girls couldn't believe that this was humanly possible; and he wanted their bodies as well to turn into puppets after the fight was over? Not a snowball's chance in hell.

The puppet immediately made for Chiyo, as Sasori had judged her to be the slowest out of the group he was fighting and possibly the most dangerous. It attempted an attack with a retractable claw on its left arm. Akiza moved and intercepted the attack with her pole-arm weapon as Sakura attempted to use that as an opening to attack it from an angle. The Kazekage puppet revealed a retractable scythe in its right arm when it turned to retaliate on the pink-haired girl.

Sakura avoided the swing due to a combination of her own dodging skill, and Akiza grabbing a hold of the puppet to keep it from lunging out at her. With a handful of the Kazekage's black cloak she pulled it in and headbutted it, sending it flying off of her halberd. She then grabbed the new bleeding bruise on her forehead almost in tears and mouthed 'ouch' lowly, because in hindsight headbutting a puppet was a terrible idea.

Akiza made her way back to Chiyo and Sakura, who noticed her disorientation at the moment, "Akiza-chan are you okay?"

Akiza steadied her movement and attempted to shake off the cobwebs, "Yeah, fine… I'm just getting over a mild concussion at the moment. Give me a second to work it out. Kami that felt almost as bad as headbutting Fullmetal."

Sakura nodded and moved out ahead of Chiyo and Akiza. Sasori shook his head, "That's not going to be enough. Senju Sobuu (Thousand Hands Manipulation Military Art)!"

The left arm of the Kazekage puppet opened up a series of compartments that revealed summoning seals. Akiza, even with her swimming vision was able to make out the nature of the seals, having dealt with Jiraiya and Naruto both writing them all over the place for two years, "Sakura!"

Before any response could be made, a large amount of long puppet arms emerged from the seals at Sakura. She narrowly avoided the first attack that crumbled the ground and crushed the rocks that they made contact with. That was not the end of the assault, as they simply bent towards her direction and continued to go after her. The arms shot off a series of wires with kunai anchors, intending to bind Sakura in place and end her free mobility about the battlefield.

Akiza marveled at how well Sakura was handling the situation as she recovered next to Chiyo, "What kind of training must she have gone through to get that good at avoiding attacks?"

Chiyo answered her, all the while keeping her eyes on the scene unfolding in front of them, "A medic-nin must be able to avoid damage in order to assist their comrades at the end of battles. This girl trained under the best medical ninja in the world, even better than myself, thus she would learn how to stay out of the way of attacks better than almost anyone else."

The puppet arms finally shot off a container of poison gas that attempted to engulf Sakura. Akiza grit her teeth as she saw the cloud burst near her teammate, "No!"

"Katon: Housenka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Flower Jutsu)" Sakura let out a volley of small fireballs that hit the cloud and caused an explosion with the unstable gas. Before the smoke could clear, Akiza pushed her way through the cover and attacked the puppet while it was stuck in place holding the massive amount of arms on its body.

A nasty surprise was waiting for her however, when she got close enough to attack up close with her weapon, the left arm of the puppet dropped the extended puppet arms and revealed a buzzsaw that nearly cut her in half at the waist before a hidden scythe from the right arm nearly caught her in the throat, "Doton: Iwa no Kougeki (Earth Release: Rock Attack)!" Backing away, Akiza made one-handed hand-seals and stabbed the pole end of Sekki Kiritateru into the ground, bringing up half a dozen kickball-sized rocks from the cave floor that she rapidly and nimbly kicked at full power at the Kazekage puppet and even Sasori himself.

Sasori moved out of the way of the attacks, but the puppet simply used its buzzsaw to cut through them.

"Damn it." Akiza said as she saw how easily Sasori avoided the jutsu she fired at both the nuke-nin and his puppet, "You took quite a chance to escape that move didn't you Sakura?"

Sakura appeared, a little singed, but more or less alright, "I guess it's a good thing that Sasuke-kun made me learn a combat ninjutsu. Thank goodness it doesn't have that high of a chakra demand compared to his other katon ninjutsu."

"You two have both done very well thus far." Chiyo said as she pulled a scroll from her back, "But sometimes it takes a puppeteer to combat another one safely. Both of you have come dangerously close to being poisoned multiple times so it's time for me to step in."

Akiza shook her head, "As if old lady. I'm not just going to sit back while you and your jerk, puppet-using grandson hash it out puppeteer style. I'm going to kill him, get out of here and find Fullmetal, and then I'm going to help him kill the other guy." A surprisingly powerful grip of Chiyo's right hand pulling her backwards put that thought to rest very quickly.

Chiyo simply moved ahead of the girls wordlessly and in a puff of smoke summoned two puppets, one a female with black hair, the other a male with red hair, "Say hello to your mother and father Sasori."

XxX

(Naruto/Sasuke/Kakashi vs. Deidara)

Naruto and Sasuke were running next to another side by side as Deidara maneuvered them through a canyon with large tree branches crossing between the valley walls. Sasuke grumbled as he and his blonde teammate remained in pursuit, "Is all this guy going to do run? I thought he was here to capture you? It's kind of hard to catch someone if all you do is retreat like a scared child."

"Just keep running teme. If an advance is going too well it's an ambush." Naruto said, "He's trying to separate us, and I would tell you to drop back and let him have what he wants, but if you do that here he'll have the advantage in the fight. I can't beat him here, so you're just going to have to bear it for a while."

Deidara looked back over his shoulder and frowned visibly at how Naruto and Sasuke were effortlessly keeping up with him. He wasn't trying to lose Naruto granted, but the chase should have been provoking him and blinding him with anger. So far nothing he did could make this kid see red, not sitting on Gaara's dead body, not saying that his friends inside were going to die, not calling him out, hell not even leading him on this chase was making him angry enough to shirk all general intelligent view and simply attempt to rip him limb from limb.

Deidara's working arm spit out a few clay pieces that he worked into bird figures that he threw back towards Naruto and Sasuke. In flight the birds expanded in size and went in on their kamikaze mission to explode on either Sasuke or Naruto.

As the boys dodged the explosions, Sasuke noticed Deidara's movements with his active Sharingan, right up to the part where he saw the chakra that the Iwa nuke-nin generated to make the figurines, this brought a smirk to his face, "Those figures of his, they're earth based."

"And?" Naruto said after they had avoided the explosions.

"I'll show you when we get him to stop." Sasuke hinted.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was stuck behind the two playing catch-up, "Ugh… I'm getting too old for this. What the hell am I saying, I'm only 29 years old! Damn kids."

"Maybe I should finish it with that?" He thought about picking up the pace and taking utter command of the situation, but Naruto wasn't flying off the handle the way he assumed he would and he truthfully wanted to see how they both would handle the situation so for the moment he was putting matters into the hands of Naruto and Sasuke, "Nah, they've got it under control for the time being."

With the two boys, Sasuke's smirk became more prominent as they easily avoided Deidara's explosive surprises that he would place for them lying in wait, "Naruto, skip that branch there." Both did as Sasuke's verbal instructions indicated and ended up avoiding a tricky pair of clay explosives molded into the shape of spiders.

"You're really pointing his traps out teme." Naruto commented, "He hasn't even come close to catching us with anything yet."

Sasuke kept his eyes firmly on Deidara above with Naruto in his peripheral so he could keep his pace and footing even with him, "I can see everything he's doing the moment he tries anything. This kind of low level stuff isn't nearly enough to catch me off guard."

"Well it's good to see that you're still humble after all of these years." Naruto said sarcastically, "Now keep going! This son of a bitch isn't getting away from us."

XxX

(Sakura/Akiza/Chiyo vs. Sasori)

"Mother and Father?" Sakura asked, confused by the situation, "I don't understand."

Chiyo kept her eyes on Sasori as she flexed her fingers to get them loose for the fight, "These puppets were the first two created by Sasori after his parents were killed in war. He made them in the image of his mother and father in the hopes that doing so would make him feel loved. I came into possession of them after he left Suna."

Akiza smirked, "So maybe this will give us some kind of psychological advantage over him? Alright then Chiyo-baa, show us what you've got!"

"You failed to mention one thing obaa-san." Sasori said, "The only reason you came into possession of them is because I grew tired of them and left them behind. My human puppets are far superior."

Chiyo said nothing and sent the two puppets out to attack. Haha (mother puppet) drew a katana to use while Chichi (father puppet) pulled out a chain of kunai as weapons to take on Sasori and the Sandaime Kazekage puppet.

While the puppets clashed in a melee of physical weaponry, Sasori continued to speak, "Do you know what truly makes a human puppet utterly superior to the regular ones in use by the rest of the puppeteers in the world? They keep their chakra that their bodies possessed in life. This means that they can still use all of the techniques that they gained up until their deaths."

Sasori forced his Kazekage puppet back and forced it to open its mouth, letting grains of iron emerge from within it. Akiza looked on curiously but with misgiving, "What on earth is that?"

Chiyo began to sweat somewhat, "That is the kekkei genkai of the Sandaime Kazekage, Satetsu (Iron Sand)."

Sakura and Akiza paled, "For some reason that doesn't sound very good for our health and well-being." Akiza quipped with a sweatdrop on her head.

The sand started forming a shape in front of the puppet, "Satetsu Kesshuu (Iron Sand Gathering)" The sand amassed and formed into a large spear with one particularly sharp end that was then sent careening at the women. All three separated to dodge the attack that ended up smashing into a wall of the cave before it pulled out and went chasing after Sakura, Chiyo, and the puppets she had been using.

Akiza growled in anger and attempted to attack Sasori while he was occupied with chasing the others down. She stabbed her weapon into the ground and made hand-seals, "Doton: Iwa Nadare (Earth Release: Rock Slide)." After finishing her hand seals she picked up her halberd and threw it at Sasori who dodged and allowed it to hit the wall behind him. Akiza made a come hither motion with her index and middle fingers to the wall that her weapon hit, forcing it to crumble and come down at Sasori from behind.

The iron sand that had been attacking Sakura and Chiyo came back to Sasori and changed shapes, taking the form of a wall that blocked the falling rocks with a terrible clanging noise. Akiza scoffed and placed her fingers back in the same gesture as she motioned to the ruined wall, "Kaektekuru (Return)" The halberd flew out of the wreckage that she had just caused and back into her hand.

"Akiza-chan look out!"

As she caught her weapon a shadow appeared over her head, "Fuck." Akiza said as a massive iron hammer slammed down on top of her from above.

Sakura gasped in horror at the sight of the hammer slamming down and cratering the ground where it hit, tears almost springing to her eyes at the sight of her teammate being smashed in front of her.

Sasori forced the Kazekage puppet to turn its assault onto Chiyo's puppets. The hammer slammed into the Haha puppet just as its arms opened up in segments and projected a thin, protective film of chakra that covered its body and took the blunt impact of the hammer, "Kikou Junbuu (Mechanic Light Shield Seal)."

Sasori watched, a face showing nothing but disinterest, "So you've given them some upgrades in my absence obaa-san?"

"Old lady Chiyo, your grandson is an asshole." A muffled voice said nearby, "Doton: Moguragakure no Jutsu (Earth Release: Hiding Like a Mole Jutsu). Akiza burst out of the ground next to Chiyo and Sakura, covered in scuff marks from maneuvering through the earth.

"Akiza! You're alive!" Sakura exclaimed in surprise, checking her over.

Akiza smiled fondly, "Yes I'm fine Sakura. I won't be that simple to get rid of." She looked over at the Kazekage puppet, "That damn thing is wearisome, I'm going in and dismantling that stupid string-puppet." She channeled chakra to her legs, something done with Naruto to help her train her taijutsu style for extra speed and strength, and rushed across the cave at Sasori.

Sasori shook his head, "I'm getting very tired of dealing with you all." The puppet returned to his side, "Between the dodging, the attacking, and my dear grandmother's futile attempts to beat me with my old puppets I've wasted far too much time here with all of you. It's time for this to end, Satetsu Shigure (Iron Sand Drizzle)." The iron sand hardened into microscopic grains widely in front of Sasori and the puppet before shooting out at all of them.

Akiza's eyes widened as she saw the miniature projectiles coming at her. In response she ripped through a rapid set of hand-seals, "Iwa no Yoroi (Stone Armor)!" Her body rapidly summoned the hardened minerals from around her to engulf her body in the translucent body covering just in time for her to take the brunt of the attack. The small iron bullets and needles impacted off of her body hard enough to throw her backwards, sending her sprawling head over heels, the attack was too quick and widespread for her to dodge, she simply had to make sure she survived it.

Chiyo moved the Haha and Chichi puppets in front of herself and Sakura to block the sand with her puppets and their chakra shields. A small smirk came to Sasori's face this happened, "Thank you for falling into the trap grandmother. You know well that you need to keep moving to avoid that jutsu, but you were too concerned with saving the little girl. I'll simply kill you all right now and save the little weapon wielding girl for last."

Chiyo tried to move the puppets, but found that the joints were clogged with the iron sand just as Sasori set up another attack with Satetsu Shigure as the attacks surrounded both her and Sakura Sasori laughed victoriously, signaling the sand to rain down on them and finish them off. However when the dust from the attack cleared, Chiyo was in front of Sakura with her right hand extended, however it was a puppet arm with the same compartment extended as the parent puppets had, and it was exuding a chakra film that was protecting both her and Sakura.

Sasori looked at the arm in interest, "Your arm, you've rigged your very own body." He laughed slightly, "We puppeteers definitely think along the same lines."

"Maybe so…" Chiyo stated.

Akiza pulled herself off of the ground and looked at Chiyo's arm, "It's fake… like Fullmetal's auto-mail."

Sasori simply shrugged, "Oh well. The sand is also coursing through that arm as well so it's useless now."

Chiyo let the puppets she had been controlling fall to the ground with sand falling from their joints, "We'll never get close enough to deal any damage at this rate."

Akiza frowned, "Speak for yourself. I'm nowhere near ready to throw in the towel yet." She noticed that Sasori's last attack was actually forceful enough to chip away at some of her armor, pieces that she quickly reassembled at the cost of even more of her chakra, 'If this is the way he's going to fight us from here on out I need to keep this on. Even a little scratch equals our defeat against Sasori and I'm not dying here.'

She once again channeled chakra to her legs and went in after Sasori, channeling chakra to Sekki Kiritateru before spinning it like a fan blade until it became a mere blur, "Kiwaminaki Kirichirasu (Endless Slashes To Cut Down All)!"

"You are extremely annoying girl." Sasori mentioned, "I guess it's finally time for me to use the Kazekage to take that little toy away from you." A compartment opened in the Kazekage's chest and began to glow but after a moment when nothing happened Sasori's eyes widened, "What?"

Akiza smirked, "Sekki Kiritateru barely tolerates me using it. There's no way it would let some abomination of humanity take control of it even if it _did_ have magnetic powers. My blade is a real arch-bastard like that. You should hear about some of the other things that it does to me just for wielding it. Don't ever bank on your secret moves to simply stop me in my tracks!"

The sand tried to amass in front of the puppet to form some kind of defense, but Akiza's rapidly spinning blade simply blew them all away, allowing her close enough to get to Sasori. Before she could begin carving into him she was forced to turn and defend an attack from the Sandaime Kazekage puppet who tried attacking with its buzzsaw. Akiza's spinning blade and the buzzsaw both clashed, the speed and velocity of both spinning blades coming into contact against one another sent both flying back from the recoil.

While Akiza stayed up front attempting to keep Sasori busy, Chiyo and Sakura stayed back, enacting a plan to get the upper hand in the battle, "Sakura, I definitely do not have the power needed to destroy that puppet, and your friend Akiza might, but due to her being the only close-range combat specialist among us Sasori is focused on her and keeping her from getting any openings to attack and finish him off. You have the strength needed to get in close and destroy that puppet from your training with the slug woman don't you?"

Sakura nodded tentatively, she had been taught the technique to enhance her attacks from Tsunade during her training. Chiyo put her right hand on her shoulder, "This seems to be beyond us all… You must avoid all of his iron sand attacks and destroy his puppet, only your friend seems to be fast enough to get inside of his defenses and even she seems stuck and unable to progress any further to attack him."

Sakura clenched her fists as she saw Akiza continue to attempt to get to Sasori, but fail, as he was now able to get the iron sand in on the fight, forcing her to defend against both the Kazekage puppet itself and its iron sand, and she could never seem to maneuver herself to get the iron sand to attack the puppet itself or Sasori himself, however she did note in particular how Akiza did her damndest to avoid even the slightest touch from the attacks, despite her wearing her armor "Everything he has is poisoned isn't it?"

Chiyo nodded, "In order to get close throughout all of the attacks you would need a lot of fighting experience and knowledge of the techniques being used to assault you. I think it would be best if you two left the area. Even for one such as me the situation seems hopeless."

Sakura held her hands out in front of herself, seemingly in inner turmoil, 'What can I do?' She watched chunks of Akiza's armor get stripped away as the Kazekage's buzzsaw arm cut her while she had been avoiding the iron sand, however she wasn't being given any time or opportunity to replace the pieces that she lost, leaving her actual body open to attack.

Sakura finally snapped, "Chiyo-sama, please use me!"

That surprised the elderly woman and got her attention, "I cannot support you as much as I would have been able to with both arms."

Sakura waved off her concern, "That's fine. I may not have amazing weapons in me like a puppet or Akiza-chan, and I may not have any incredible attack ninjutsu, but what I do have is Tsunade-shishou's contempt for losing!"

Chiyo laughed inwardly, "The Sandaime's magnetic abilities make your steel and iron weapons ineffective. It's amazing that your friend somehow kept her blade."

Sakura pounded her palm with a fist, "That's perfect, because I also got her unarmed combat skills!" Chiyo took control of Sakura's body with chakra strings before sending her in to do battle, just as Akiza got herself out of her own melee.

Sasori looked her over with disdain, "And now the other little girl wants to fight as well I see. Fine." He diverted some of the iron sand from the fight with Akiza and formed a pyramid with it in order to send out at Sakura to end her life.

Sakura avoided the attack and watched as it plowed into the cave walls, but as she was watching that, a large block of iron sand tried to crush her from above. Sakura avoided it and came back in with her fist cocked back to unleash a thunderous punch that sent the block flying into another wall with vicious force.

"Wow…" Akiza commented as she took note of the scene after witnessing Sakura's raw strength before rocks started coming down around her, "Oh, she really seriously caused a cave-in with that?"

The battle was beginning to wear on Sakura as she was panting heavily after fending off the iron sand attack, but she was beginning to get Sasori's attack patterns down due to watching his battle with Akiza and from avoiding his attacks herself.

"It seems like I need to end this now…" Sasori made an odd shape with the iron sand as he levitated it high into the air, "Satetsu Kaihou (Iron Sand World Order)!" Immediately many iron branches began to spike out from the bulk in the center of the jutsu.

It began impaling everywhere around the battlefield, branching out in no real pattern and going in other directions randomly. Akiza tried dodging but ended up taking a shot right to the torso that cracked her armor thoroughly and took her breath from her violently, it almost came close to spiking her into a ruined wall, but she rolled off of the edge and fell to the ground holding her stomach and coughing heavily, 'Damn it, that broke a few ribs…' She tried quickly returning to her feet, but fell back to the ground as blood came from her mouth in another cough. Her armor dropped as the strain on her now damaged body and chakra reserves to keep it active were simply too high.

Sakura was in the middle of all of the iron bars, all of them stuck in the ground around her, surrounding her in a hodge-podge jungle of iron with multiple cuts on her body. Sakura was weakly swaying on her feet, looking woozy before dropping face first to the ground.

"Sakura!" Chiyo cried out in alarm.

Sasori chuckled, "Well you can't honestly say that you're surprised."

Chiyo narrowed her eyes, "Of course, you put poison in the iron sand."

"The poison is very effective, its effects are already taking hold; her body is numb and immobile. Well if I leave her alone she has three days." Sasori commented off-handedly, "But that's not what I really plan to do." He finished as he sent the Kazekage puppet back in, the scythe from its right arm exposed.

Right before it finished Sakura off, she jumped back to her feet and shattered the puppet with one punch. Akiza pulled her way over to Chiyo and used the ruined rocks to retake her standing position, keeping her feet by stabbing Sekki Kiritateru into the ground, "She played possum… that was a good move."

Chiyo watched as Sakura made her way back over quickly with a vial in her hand, "The antidote. I only have one left, I'll give it to one of you."

Akiza waved it off, "Give it to old lady Chiyo. If he actually hits me now that his stupid unhittable puppet is in splinters than I guess I deserve to die here." She then painfully grabbed her body, "Though I could stand to get a little pick me up if you know what I mean."

Chiyo snapped out of her disbelief when Sakura went over to Akiza who slumped against the rocks and sat on the ground. As she activated Shousen Jutsu (Mystical Palm Jutsu) to begin healing Akiza's injuries Chiyo finally spoke, "When did you-?"

Sakura smiled, "When I made the antidote for Kankuro I was only able to make three with the supplies I had on hand. But because I knew that one of the people we were chasing used poison I put it into quick-use form. But it only works for three minutes. No matter how much poison we take in three minutes the body will just turn it into harmless protein because of the antidote."

Her face turned serious, "I was waiting for him to use his trump card so that I could catch him off-guard, I couldn't use it until the very last moment. So now we have to finish this in the next three minutes, which is how long I am immune to his poison."

Akiza leaned her head against the rocks she was seated against, "So you two are going to be immune while I'm still vulnerable? Fine, I guess I have to make sure that I don't get hit again. As long as he doesn't have anything like that last jutsu he used I should be okay." She took her fingers and pressed them against her body, only wincing slightly, "Thank you Sakura, it's not 100% but it's just enough for me to work with." She reached into her supply pouch and popped a soldier pill.

Sakura helped her teammate back to her feet. She looked winded from all she had been doing but simply dusted herself off and looked back out at Sasori, "There's no time to waste, are you ready Chiyo-sama?"

Sasori looked on from across the battlefield, 'How is she moving? The poison should have taken effect by now… Did she use an antidote? How? Did she use the poison I used on that Suna brat to make it?' He tried to calm himself, 'No, it would take someone even beyond Chiyo-obaasan's skill to make an antidote.' He then saw Sakura activate Shousen no Jutsu and heal the wounds on her person, 'The brat is a medical ninja too.'

It then finally hit him, "No way…"

Sakura finished healing herself, 'That should take care of the big wounds. I need to focus the rest of my chakra towards attacking.' She turned around when Akiza patted her firmly on the shoulder.

The dark-skinned girl had a confident look on her face as she stared out at Sasori, "Finish this guy off in three minutes or less. It certainly sounds doable." She said, turning to the pink-haired medic with a grin.

Sasori simply stared back out at them and undid the buttons on his cloak, "I wonder how long it's been since the trouble I had getting into Akatsuki-."

From what the three women saw it caused them to stare in shock at Sasori's body. Chiyo answered the question on their minds, "Since he left Suna he hasn't aged. He's just like he was long ago… and this is why."

"-That I've had to use myself." Sasori's face held an inhuman look on it. A direct contrast to the calm visage he held just a moment prior. From Sasori's back there were two bladed propellers, from his stomach there was an open compartment with a steel cable that had a stinger on the end, there was a closed compartment on the right side of his chest, and on the left side there was some sort of talisman planted in his chest. On his back there were multiple summoning scrolls held for easy access.

"He turned himself into a human puppet." Akiza shook her head at the sight, "Why do I always end up fighting the immortal fucks?"

XxX

(Naruto/Sasuke/Kakashi vs. Deidara)

"Stop running you prick!" Naruto shouted up to Deidara as the chase continued.

Deidara looked over his shoulder and down at the pursuing Konoha ninja, "Kiss my ass, un!"

Naruto growled in annoyance and turned to Sasuke, "You wouldn't happen to have anything that could reach him from here would you?"

Sasuke turned to Naruto and nodded, "I do. It might not hit him because it's not really fast but I do. It's accurate but not speedy." He said as he pulled a pair of shuriken from his pouch.

Naruto grinned, "What a coincidence, because I do too, it's just speedy and not very accurate. Go figure."

Sasuke returned his grin with a smirk, "So what are we going to do?"

Naruto looked up at the fleeing Deidara, "That's not to say I can't hit him, it's just that if he knew it was coming he could dodge it without too much trouble from this range, I need a diversion. Just make sure that whatever it is you're doing has his pure and undivided attention, because I'm going to need it."

Up above, Deidara frowned as he reached into the pouch he had on hand, "I'm out of exploding clay, un… What to do, what to do."

XxX

(Sakura/Akiza/Chiyo vs. Sasori)

Akiza had raised a wall of rock from the ground to defend. This took more chakra than her wall of mud but it was completely necessary for the time being because-, "Damn it this is insane! Who does stuff like this to their own body? _How_ can you do something like this to your own body? It's a flamethrower for Kami's sake!" –Because Sasori was shooting flames at them from flamethrowers built into his palms.

"What's wrong?" Sasori taunted as he turned the flames off from his smoking palms.

"What the fuck do you think is wrong you smart-ass teme?" Akiza shouted from behind their cover. She then slammed her fist into the ground hard, "Damn it! Your antidote only has about a minute left." She spoke quietly to Sakura.

Sakura frowned as she realized that she was right, "Has it stopped?" She questioned and peeked out from behind the protective wall, only to see Sasori shoot his stinger-tipped cable out at them. It maneuvered around the wall and stabbed gaffed Sakura in the side before sticking into the wall behind them.

Sakura looked behind her while clutching her wound and noticed that the cable went slack. As she turned back she saw Sasori flying over their cover, "Die!"

Sakura grabbed onto the cable and held Sasori back, even when he tried to get to Chiyo and Akiza by using his propellers for extra momentum. Akiza moved behind him and stopped his propellers with her halberd. The sudden loss of momentum let Sakura pull him in and deliver a direct hit to his puppet body, forcing it into segments.

Akiza pumped her fist, "Hell yes! You've got to be able to hit harder than Fullmetal with the way you fight!"

Sakura smiled, 'We actually beat him before the time with the antidote ran out.' Her success was short-lived when Sasori's body reformed behind her, no worse for wear.

"*sigh* I never thought I would have to use this jutsu again. I forbade myself from doing so." Chiyo pulled out a scroll and unraveled it, "I'll finish this now." The seals on the scroll came off of it and took the shape of ten different puppets.

"Now that's impressive obaa-san." Sasori commented, "They say that the strength of a puppeteer is measured by the amount of puppets they use. Your great finger by finger technique… said to have taken down an entire castle single-handedly. Shiro Higi: Jukki Chikamatsu no Shuu (White Secret Technique: Ten Puppet Collection of Chikamatsu)."

Sasori pulled a scroll from his own back, "That is a lot of puppets. But-." As he unsealed the scroll in the air a massive puff of smoke took place. At the same time the compartment in the right side of his chest opened up as massive amounts of chakra strings emerged, the smoke then cleared to reveal countless puppets hovering in the air above, "With this I took down a whole country. I mean seriously. How long does it take for me to finish off a pair of little girls and an old hag… to the point where I had to use my best puppets. Aka Higi: Hyakki no Souen (Red Secret Technique: Performance of a Hundred Puppets)."

"Sakura." Chiyo said, "Your anitidote has already worn off, don't do anything."

Sakura's response was interrupted by a feminine laugh that grew louder and louder, finally garnering attention from the two kunoichi. They soon realized that Akiza had been the one that had been laughing the entire time, "Akiza-chan what's so funny about this?"

Akiza stopped laughing and impaled her weapon in the ground while holding one hand on her hip, "The thing that this idiot doesn't realize is that I've been training with Fullmetal nonstop for two years. _Nonstop_. Can you tell me what that means?"

Sakura stared at her in confusion, "What"

Akiza grinned, "Can you tell me what one of Fullmetal's best moves are? Apparently it was one of the first real jutsu he learned. Then you'll know why I could honestly care less about a measly one hundred puppets."

It took a moment but Sakura finally understood, her eyes widened in realization, "Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu)."

Akiza nodded, "Fullmetal makes so many more than this just as a warm-up it was scary until I got used to it. And do you know how I got used to it? He would make hordes of them and send them at me until I couldn't stand anymore. Can you imagine fighting upwards of one thousand insane, independent Fullmetals at the exact same time? Compared to that, this is simply a remedial course for little old me."

Sakura looked out at the crowd of puppets and punched her palm, "Fine then. Chiyo-sama, we're not staying back, we'll kick their asses ourselves!"

Akiza pulled her halberd out of the ground and stood in a ready stance, "Here they come!"

Chiyo flexed her fingers and combined the arms of two of the puppets as Sasori's own came rushing in to attack. Akiza didn't wait to simply defend against them and ran out ahead to attack them herself.

As Sasori's puppets bared down on Chiyo her conjoined puppets attacked. The first one threw the second one out as a sharp, sweeping attack that cut through a huge amount of them right off of the bat. Another of her puppets wielded a sword that slashed right through anything it came up against. Three more of them joined together and opened their mouths, "Sanbo Kyuukai (Three Buddhist Treasure Inhaling Defeat)!" The three formed a huge vacuum that sucked anything in its path into it, and destroyed it.

The puppets were picking apart Sasori's forces but there were simply too many and they were slowly overwhelmed.

On Akiza's part she wasn't having any trouble at all, because despite the massive numbers disadvantage they still had something that Naruto didn't give her when she fought his Kage Bunshin hordes, they attacked in a pattern that she was able to quickly identify. After discovering this she gleefully took to cutting them to shards to the extent that Sasori pulled them back to keep her from utterly destroying them all, "Aww… you're no fun!" She pouted before shrugging and making hand-seals, "Well as fun as it was tearing your best puppets apart, you've put them all out of my reach, and since my fun is over, this fight should be over. You might have had a much better chance of winning if I wasn't here! Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Dragon Jutsu)!"

A rock dragon emerged from the ground and absolutely eradicated all of the puppets that had simply retreated out of her range. Akiza laughed in maniacal amusement as pieces of broken puppets came down around her before she reigned herself in with an embarrassed blush on her face, "Maybe living with Fullmetal and his crazy brother is starting to make me appreciate random acts of mass destruction too much."

Sakura meanwhile was hammering away at Sasori's puppets one at a time when one got into her blindspot and came at her with a hidden blade. Chiyo saw this coming and remembered what Sakura had said about the antidote before throwing her body in the way and taking the blow on her arm instead,

"Chiyo-sama!" Sakura cried out in panic. This also got Akiza to get back over to the rest of them to fight off the rest of the puppets and keep them from the wounded Chiyo.

Sakura immediately made her way over in concern, "Sakura, let your friend handle the rest of the puppets. Go for Sasori himself." She placed an object in Sakura's hand, "Use it."

Sakura nodded and looked over at Sasori before running towards him. A mass of puppets blocked her path before a spinning halberd flying through the air cut through them like a hot knife through butter. Sakura looked back and saw that Akiza had launched her weapon at them to keep her safe and was currently holding off the remainder of Sasori's puppets without her armament.

"This is it!" Sakura threw a strange object full speed at Sasori. As if flew through the air it grew and took the form of an open pair of jaws that hit Sasori's body and pinned him to the wall, forming a seal where it hit.

All of the rest of the puppets dropped lifelessly to the ground, allowing Sakura to rest easily, "We actually did it… *pant pant*"

Chiyo was visibly suffering from the poison that Sasori had inflicted her with, "It is over Sasori, that sealing jutsu completely suppresses all chakra you can't even use chakra thread."

Sakura yelled out to her, "Chiyo-sama take the antidote!"

One of the fallen hooded puppets rose from behind Chiyo with a katana in hand. Sakura made her way to intercept as quickly as she could and managed to protect Chiyo from being stabbed by taking the blow with her own body. She looked over her shoulder, bleeding from her mouth, "Hurry and take the antidote Chiyo-sama…"

The hood of the puppet came off to reveal another body of Sasori, "Worrying about the old hag, even with an injury like this? What a girl."

Chiyo injected the antidote into Sakura instead of herself, surprising Sasori with her actions. Sasori let go of the blade in Sakura's body as he realized that even with the blade in her she was already healing herself and attempted to attack them again once and for all with a hidden blade on his person.

"Kaektekuru (Return)!"

Before Sasori could even blink or respond, Akiza's halberd found itself buried into his chest, more specifically right through the talisman in the center of his chest.

"Finally!" Akiza removed a pile of puppets from atop her body as she stood up, "Do you know how long I've been trying to get a good enough angle on that bastard for that to actually work?"

Chiyo smirked, "Now you can't move for certain Sasori. It doesn't matter whether your body is a puppet or not, you still needed a real part of your body to control chakra. And from your other body just that left part of your chest was intact. That was your weak point. The only real part of the body you're currently in is the part that uses chakra."

Sakura collapsed with the katana still in her body. Akiza ran over in concern, "Sakura!"

Chiyo forcefully removed the sword from Sakura's body and went to healing her. Sasori, still with Akiza's halberd in him, spoke, "It's useless. I hit a vital spot. Even without my poison she'll be dead sooner rather than later, there's too much blood loss. I intentionally aimed for somewhere that can't be treated easily since you're a medic-nin as well."

"I've already stopped giving her medical treatment." Chiyo admitted, "What I'm doing now isn't medical ninjutsu. I am giving her my own life energy, Kishou Tensei (One's Own Life Reincarnation)."

Sasori's face reflected one of surprise, as was Akiza's, "A reincarnation jutsu?"

Chiyo nodded and looked at Sasori, "In the beginning it was for you. With this jutsu I can even give life to a puppet… in exchange for the user's life. But it's too late for that."

"You're so senile obaa-san." Sasori said half-heartedly.

Sakura started moving and trying to reach her feet. Chiyo assisted her, "Sakura are you alright?"

Her gaze was half-lidded and exhausted, "Yes, thanks to you Chiyo-sama."

"From that jutsu you just used-." Sasori started, "Doesn't the user die from giving up their life to a dead person?"

Akiza haughtily tried pulling her stuck fast halberd from Sasori's chest, "That's because Sakura wasn't dead yet you skeptical moron."

Sasori actually grunted upon having the bloody halberd attempted to be yanked from his body, "That's a pity…" His still standing body said. Sakura immediately stood and cracked him in the face, "Give it up, if all you do is hit me then your fist will simply hurt, this body feels no pain. I won't feel a thing if Chiyo-obaasan dies here, my heart is just like the rest of this body. Of all of the people I've killed in my life she is just another one of them."

Sakura clinched her fists, "You're so fucking stupid! Is that what you think a shinobi is? Is that what you think blood ties are?"

"That's enough Sakura." Chiyo said, "It was the twisted teachings of Suna that made him this way."

"Maybe if you become like me you'll understand." Sasori added on, "I am unfettered by a mere mortal lifespan. I can make as many people as I want out of puppets if I want them."

Sakura growled at him, "What the hell are you?"

Akiza twisted and finally pulled her blade from Sasori's chest, allowing him to drop to the ground in a heap, "Dead." She said as she allowed Sekki Kiritateru to return to the earth.

Sakura allowed herself a small smile, "Amazing. We actually did it."

Akiza sighed and wiped her brow, "And I can finally say that one of my fights has reached a level of massive environmental damage only previously thought possible by Fullmetal himself… speaking of whom…"

Chiyo dropped to her knees on the ground, "Chiyo-sama!" Sakura tried to move her, "We need to get back to Suna. I can make another antidote."

Chiyo shook her head, "No…"

Akiza raised an eyebrow, "Why? We've already done what we needed to do. We beat Sasori. If we don't get back and make the antidote you know what will happen."

Chiyo nodded, "More importantly, there is still something I must do."

XxX

(Naruto/Sasuke/Kakashi vs. Deidara)

Deidara looked down at Naruto and Sasuke who were still in pursuit, "What are those stupid kids doing now?"

Naruto looked over at Sasuke, "Are you finally ready teme?"

Sasuke scoffed and rolled his eyes, "You try setting this up while jumping between tree branches and trying to look inconspicuous." He focused back on Deidara, "Whatever, just get ready to follow up if this misses." Sasuke let loose an entire fist full of shuriken at Deidara.

The airborne missing-nin saw it coming and laughed, "You really can't believe that a simple attack like that will hit me, un?" He moved his bird out of the way only to widen his visible eye in surprise when a few seconds later the shuriken all came back around and surrounded him, coming back in.

Sasuke allowed the shuriken to freely glide with just subtle movements of his fingertips, "The thing that everyone seems to forget after they talk about the Sharingan and even the katon techniques is that the Uchiha clan were also masters of wire work. Soushuriken no Jutsu (Manipulated Shuriken Jutsu)."

Deidara escaped the attack on all sides by flying his bird directly up, "Damn it, those bastard eyes!"

Naruto transmuted his arm into a familiar long pipe shape and kneeled down to take aim. Naruto's new rifle arm took a sleeker and longer form, and now had crosshairs for more precise aiming, "Good going Sasuke! Now it's time for the new and improved Sogekihei Sandan (Shot Sniper)!"

Sasuke looked his arm and then at him in surprise, "That's an _improved_ version? What the hell did the original look like?"

A muzzle flash and a sharp 'crack' noise preceded a long, sharp cone shaped bullet firing from Naruto's arm and ripping right through the neck of Deidara's bird as well as his one remaining arm, as the bullet hit him in the shoulder, making it a useless slab of meat and muscle from the amount of damage the bullet did.

"Damn it!" Naruto said as he transmuted his arm back to normal while he and Sasuke sped up to close the distance, "I was aiming for his head but he was still able to dodge… Either that or I need to balance the make of the structure more. Hmm, maybe I should work some spiral grooves into the barrel for added accuracy and speed."

"Speculate over your miserably failed shot later dobe." Sasuke cracked, "We've got a Kazekage to catch."

Deidara's bird was shot down over the forests that surrounded the canyon he had been leading Naruto and Sasuke through. As they got near the falling head of the bird that Deidara had placed Gaara in for safekeeping Naruto clapped his hands and placed them on the ground to form a giant hand that reached up and caught the head before safely bringing it down and receding back into the earth. Naruto and Sasuke swiftly moved to it and Naruto immediately clawed his way into the clay with his bare hands while Sasuke kept his eyes peeled defensively.

Naruto eventually reached Gaara's body and put a look of sadness and failure on his face, "Gaara… I'm so sorry." He turned to where Deidara was standing in the trees, "Now what was it that I said I was going to do with you? Oh yeah, I was going to disembowel you with my bare hands."

Deidara smirked even though with one arm missing and the other one turned for all intents and purposes into a useless hunk of hanging meat he was completely useless, "I'll fight you again soon enough, un."

Naruto gave Deidara a dark grin, "Now the way you say it you make it seem like I'm giving you a choice in the matter."

Sasuke smirked next to Naruto, "You let your guard down."

Deidara felt a pull on his wounded shoulder as he turned to take a Naruto haymaker with his auto-mail arm that sent him flying. The Naruto next to Sasuke smirked cruelly, "Beat his ass boss."

The original Naruto pressed his advantage and dropped from the tree on top of Deidara, making four Kage Bunshin to grab a hold of his limbs while he kicked off of his body like a trampoline to shoot back into the air before descending with his leg in a heel drop. The clones roughly slammed Deidara's body into the ground, making cracks appear under him while the original followed up by driving a spinning heel into the back of his neck, feeling the spine give way underneath him, "Sankakusu Kesei (Delta Formation)! Just die!"

"Naruto." Sasuke said after Naruto had finished his combination.

The blonde looked at what should have been a broken pile of Deidara and grit his teeth in anger when all he found was a pile of clay.

Sasuke looked around for any sign of Deidara, "That was one fast Kawarimi, to switch out in a split second right before Naruto grabbed a hold of him…"

Sasuke noticed an orange aura begin to form around Naruto and raised his eye, "So that's the Kyuubi's chakra shroud huh? It's actually kind of cool when you're not using it to slam me around."

Naruto nodded and tried to calm himself by looking at the blood on his hand from when he punched Deidara, 'It's okay. He's still around, I know I hit him hard, I felt his jaw crack and give way under my fist.' Naruto turned to Sasuke, "Teme."

Sasuke cut him off as if he could read his mind and kept his Sharingan beaded on his surroundings, "I'm on it. If he even makes a move I'll see it now. He has to actually leave to get away, and he sure as hell isn't getting away from us."

Naruto turned around at the sound of leaves rustling to find that Kakashi, Akiza, Sakura, and Chiyo had caught up to them, "Well it took you long enough you guys."

Kakashi had his own Sharingan out and was looking around like Sasuke was, "Well I wanted to see how much you had grown while you were away Naruto. I put you and Sasuke in the lead so that I could watch your skill from afar by letting you handle it yourself. I just decided to make sure that when the others caught up they could find us."

Akiza crossed her arms in front of her chest, "That Sasori bastard was a pain in the ass to kill. You're making it up to me for leaving me behind to fight that guy."

Naruto grinned but there was no humor or amusement in it, "Afraid I'll have to take a raincheck on that Akiza-chan, you see, I'm looking for the guy that killed Gaara, and then I'm going to do terrible things to him, you might not want to watch it up close."

Chiyo's eyes panned over to the clone that was watching over Gaara's body in sorrow, "I see."

Sasuke didn't look back but he had a smile on his face, "I knew you could beat that guy Sakura. Good work."

Sakura smiled at the complement right before Sasuke threw a kunai into the bushes, flushing out Deidara. Naruto immediately locked on to him and ran after in pursuit, Sasuke right at his side, "Let's finish this."

Naruto nodded and formed his arm blade as he jumped over Deidara and swung at him intent on ending his life. Deidara had a kunai in his mouth to defend himself but knew from the one punch that Naruto landed earlier that fighting him head on with his kind of raw strength was a bad idea, how he was even holding the kunai in his mouth with the swollen jaw he was sporting was nothing short of a small miracle.

Sasuke soon jumped into the melee and battered Deidara whenever Naruto missed due to his Sharingan picking up the pattern of Deidara's movements whenever he avoided a killing shot from the blonde alchemist. Suffice it to say, the combination of Sasuke and Naruto were for a lack of better terms kicking Deidara's ass.

Deidara took a kick to the back from Sasuke that sent him towards Naruto who was banking on delivering an uppercut to the body with his arm-blade, intent on following through with his threat of disemboweling Deidara. Deidara spun around Naruto's fist, avoiding the attack, but upon spinning he ended up eating a kick directly to the face from Sasuke that sent him flying against a tree trunk.

Deidara was seething as he stood back up, 'This is a fight that I can't win…' Right when he said that the rest of Team 7 alongside Team Gai came up behind Sasuke and Naruto. Deidara took off in an all out retreat, there was no way that he was going to beat any of these people as he was. He was utterly maimed and unable to even defend himself.

Once again he found himself being pursued but let a smirk cross his face as he saw the body of his fallen clay bird that had been shot down by Naruto and Sasuke. He took cover behind it as everyone arrived to see him eating the clay. He stood chewing with a smile on his face, "Witness my ultimate work of art." He said as his body began to swell, "Art is an explosion!"

Neji's Byakugan caught sight of his channeling all of his chakra to his center, 'No way… He couldn't be.'

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "Naruto remember how I told you all of his explosive attacks were earth based?"

Naruto nodded, "So?" He said quickly.

Sasuke channeled lightning to his hand, "Lightning beats earth, but I can't get close enough in time."

Naruto clapped his hands, "Leave that to me!"

Neji turned to the rest of the group to warn them, "Everyone get away! Hurry!"

Naruto's hands were generating lightning which he let fly from his fingertips and hit Deidara directly, "Sasuke I defused the explosion! Finish it now!"

Sasuke rushed at Deidara with lightning around his hand, chirping rapidly, "Chidori (One Thousand Birds)!" Sasuke's arm impaled Deidara right through the chest, but instead of falling to the ground he burst into smoke. Sasuke tensed up and looked around, "Damn it, it was just a clone… Where's the real one?"

Neji sighed in relief and everyone else looked around for Deidara. Naruto punched the ground, leaving a crater where his fist made contact, "Damn it! That girly looking son of a bitch got away! When did he even switch himself out?"

Kakashi placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder, "It's over. He's gone. But what was that jutsu that you used on Deidara just now."

Naruto looked down, "It wasn't a jutsu. It was more alchemy. It uses the actual charges from either my protons or my electrons in my body's atoms… It really takes it out of me." Naruto fell to his knees panting heavily, "It's not like chakra… it's the energy in my body in its purest form being drained. The stuff that's actually holding my being together."

Akiza came up and smacked him on the head, "Don't use that attack you idiot! You told me not to use my curse, well don't use stupid moves like that!"

"Sorry Akiza-chan." Naruto said weakly as he crawled to where he clone had dispelled with Gaara's body before he finally passed out right next to it, "Gaara I'm sorry…"

XxX

In a field at the outside of the forest, Gaara's body was laid out on the grass. Sakura had checked his body over but there was no disputing it, Gaara was dead. Naruto was seated next to his body with Akiza next to him on the grass helping to hold him up, "Why Gaara? Why was it always Gaara? To have to die like this…" Naruto said as a tear welled up in his eye, "He actually did it… He became the Kazekage."

Chiyo sighed, "Calm down Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto glared up at her, too physically weak to do much else, "Shut up…" Tears were streaming down his face silently, "If Suna hadn't put Shukaku in him then nothing like this ever would have happened. Did any of you ever even care about him at all, or was he just your 'jinchuuriki'? And what the hell is that anyway? You just arrogantly made up that word as a damn label, as if he wasn't a person, as if jinchuuriki aren't real people! What the hell was it all for?" He finished shouting, and wiping his eyes.

Chiyo simply walked up to Gaara's body and kneeled down next to it before she started generating a jutsu. Sakura's eyes widened in shock, "Chiyo-sama that jutsu is-."

The old woman just smiled over her shoulder. Naruto shakily stood up on his feet and walked over to Chiyo, "Just what the hell is it that you're trying to do?"

Sakura put a hand on his shoulder to keep him from acting rashly, "She's bringing Gaara back."

Naruto's eyes widened, "Can she really do something like that?" Something like this sounded familiar to him.

_(Flashback – Nine Years Ago)_

_Naruto sat in the woods with Jushiro. It was after the academy and Jushiro had been taking Naruto out and teaching him the theories of alchemy as well as he could for a few months now every chance he could. Jushiro today however, was not looking at Naruto with any inkling of fun in his eyes, it almost scared Naruto that his nine year old brother could put a face like that on at the drop of a hat._

_Jushiro sat down in front of Naruto and took a nearby stick before drawing in the dirt on the ground. He had been showing Naruto basic transmutation circles and even showing him different ones for more complex uses. Upon finishing he pointed at it, "Do you see this transmutation circle Naruto?"_

_Naruto looked down and noticed that it was very different, much more complex and elaborate than the basic circle that Jushiro had taught him how to make to get him used to manipulating the basic physical properties of things, "Yeah I see it Big Boss."_

_Jushiro nodded, "Good." He then erased it quickly and with violence in his eyes, "Now I never want you to even think about this ever again!" Naruto blinked in surprise, "You're probably wondering why I showed you this and then told you to never do anything involving this circle right?" Naruto nodded, "You never want to ever use a transmutation that requires this circle."_

"_Why? Shouldn't I want to learn about all kinds of alchemy?" Naruto asked innocently._

_Jushiro shook his head, "There's just some stuff that people should never know, especially little kids like us. Some people like to try playing Kami, to try and make themselves God, and this research is the usual result. This is human transmutation. But no matter what, you can never, ever transmutate human life."_

_Naruto quirked an eyebrow, "But you said that if we knew the physical makeup of things, what makes them, we can do anything. I want to use this! I want to see my parents, and meet them, and-." Naruto was stopped in his tracks when Jushiro slapped him hard across the face, bringing tears to his eyes._

_Jushiro ran his hand through his white locks, "I'm sorry, but I had to do that. I'm telling you all of this so that when you get good enough at alchemy you don't get the idea to try this for yourself. Yeah I did say that you could, but it's absolutely impossible to do such with human life. You can't bring a person back to life when they die for example. When a soul leaves the mortal plane it's gone, and we as human beings can never call it back. Any attempt will cause an alchemic rebound because there's absolutely nothing that we can possess that can match a human soul in value, absolutely nothing. The price you pay for the mere attempt to do so is horrific. This is the ultimate taboo to an alchemist Naruto. My dad's notes were extremely specific on this. Never ever try this. It is an absolute abomination to life and it would be like spitting in Kami's and the Shinigami's faces."_

(End Flashback)

Naruto shook that thought from his mind, 'This isn't alchemy… but still… But Gaara…' Naruto was internally struggling with himself over the ethics of allowing this to happen before one thing jumped into his mind, 'Equivalent exchange... It's the same for everything, alchemy, ninjutsu, life, everything.' Naruto looked down at Chiyo, "What is the cost of you using this to revive Gaara?" He asked.

Chiyo didn't answer but Akiza did for her, "The price of using this jutsu is the user's own life force." She looked sad as she relayed the information to Naruto.

Chiyo finally spoke, "I do not have enough life force in me to complete the technique."

Before anyone could say anything Naruto dropped to her side, "Can you use mine? To finish the jutsu, can you use my life force as well?" Chiyo looked at Naruto in surprise before nodding. In response Naruto placed his hands on Gaara much like Chiyo had.

As Chiyo's eyes slowly began to close from the exertion of using the jutsu she looked at how intently Naruto was focusing on Gaara, 'It doesn't matter at all to him that Gaara is a shinobi from another nation.' With a smile she looked up at Naruto, "I am glad to have met a ninja like you in this world of shinobi that we old people have created. I have made nothing but mistakes in the past, but at the very end it seems that I am able to do the right thing. You will be an amazing person in the future." She looked up at Sakura, "And Sakura do not risk your life for an old hag like me next time. Protect what is important to you. You may become a kunoichi that surpasses your master." She then looked over at Akiza and motioned towards Naruto, "Take care of him. He seems like the type to go off and do stupid things just because he can."

Akiza chuckled and nodded even though tears were filling her eyes. She hadn't known her for long, but she and Sakura could both say that they had bonded with the old woman with the time between the travelling and the battle for their very lives.

"Naruto, I have one request from an old hag." Naruto looked at her attentively, "Help Gaara out." Naruto nodded even though his own eyes started feeling heavy.

Naruto's eyes shut as he lost his balance and hit the ground as the sound of a familiar voice brought back to life sounded up, "Naruto Uzumaki?"

Naruto lost consciousness with a smile on his face, "Equivalent exchange…"

* * *

**Goddamn that was a long ass chapter! My fingers hurt like a raggedy mo-fo! But you don't care… *Sniff…* **

**Anyway, chapter done. Read up and enjoy your weekend… I'm going to go do Kenchi stuff now.**


	58. Leaves and Stones

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Or do I?

… No, I don't. I'm sorry. Leading you all on like that was wrong. My mother raised me better than that.

**Chapter 58: Leaves and Stones**

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It had been roughly a week since the rescue mission to Sunagakure and upon their return Team 7 was put on temporary hiatus due to Kakashi being requested personally for a mission in Kusagakure, an ally of Konohagakure. This left the team to its own devices and in this case their own devices were to train (Naruto and Sasuke), and get Akiza adjusted to life in Konoha (Sakura and Akiza).

Sakura had taken a shine to Akiza and enjoyed spending time with her fellow kunoichi outside of training and work. Though Akiza and Sakura were complete opposites as shinobi, Sakura was someone that fixed grievous injuries as Akiza was more inclined to be the one causing them, they got along just fine, and even though things were still extremely tense and awkward at moments between them, Akiza nothing if not cordial to Hinata. It was clear that neither girl was really over their little spat during their first meeting but both were willing to put it on the back-burner as fighting served no purpose between them.

It didn't stop Ino from secretly hoping more fireworks would spark, not that she would ever nudge such a thing along. Sakura hit hard.

On the other hand, Naruto had let Sasuke in on the concept of what he was trying to do for his project, achieve flight, which actually led to a breakthrough.

Sasuke looked up as he saw Naruto standing on a cloud that was steadily sinking before it hit the ground and dispersed, "So you've been working on this for almost two years?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke with his arms crossed over his chest before making hand-seals and forming another cloud higher in the air this time that still sank towards the ground slowly, "Yep." Naruto's clothes had changed now that he was firmly home and not on the road anymore. He wore his flak jacket zipped open slightly with nothing underneath, allowing all of his auto-mail to be visible, he also wore black pants taped at the ankles leading to black sandals, "I can even stand on this thing now. You have no idea how much chakra it takes to stand on a cloud, it's twenty times the drain you get from standing on water. Nobody else can do it effectively but me, I swear."

"But you can't move it." Sasuke said, looking at Naruto and his cloud in thought.

Naruto frowned and shook his head, "Not without dispersing it. Whenever I try to channel air through the damn thing it just vanishes into thin air. It's pissing me off."

Sasuke turned on his Sharingan, "Okay, try to move it again." Naruto did as instructed and channeled wind chakra through the seals on his sandals, blowing it downward through the cloud, however as Naruto had mentioned before the cloud simply fell apart and dropped him back to the ground. Naruto simply stood in place and looked at Sasuke with a twitching eyebrow before his face calmed, "Oh, that's right. Your eyes can't copy fuuinjutsu. I'm good."

"Hm." Sasuke said, "Try it again dobe."

Naruto growled and made his handseals before jumping high in the air as a cloud formed under his feet, suspending him in the air. Sasuke moved underneath Naruto and whipped through hand-seals of his own, "Turn it on now! Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)!" Sasuke formed a small fireball underneath Naruto's cloud just as he started using his wind chakra to try and move the cloud.

"What the fuck teme?" Naruto snapped at his Uchiha teammate, "Are you trying to roast me alive before I finish my work? That's really low!"

"Shut the hell up and pay attention to your surroundings you idiot!" Sasuke shouted right back at him before mumbling under his breath, "How the hell could any woman put up with this guy?"

Naruto blinked before looking around, "I haven't hit the ground yet." Naruto's cloud was slowly rising into the air and staying intact, "How did this work? It hasn't worked since I figured out how to even create the cloud!"

Sasuke smirked, "Tell me Mr. Alchemist, what does hot air do?"

Naruto palmed his face with his auto-mail, "…Rises. Damn I'm stupid."

"Tell me something I didn't know." Sasuke cracked as Naruto floated back down to earth, "So now what are you going to do?"

Naruto looked at the seals inscribed on his sandals, "What else? I need to configure a low power katon arrangement to fit in with the rest of the seal array… That means I need to buy new shoes again, damn it. This is the twelfth pair this year. Akiza-chan is going to bitch me out about getting her something for herself too." He started walking away from the field, "You coming? I'm going to steal a pair from Big Boss, I know he has some old ones in my size somewhere."

"To your house?" Sasuke said with a raised brow, "And why would I be wanting to do that?"

"Because you have absolutely nothing to do, Sakura's gone with Akiza-chan so you can't go with her, and I'm still one of only three people in the village you can tolerate hanging out with?" Naruto said dismissively.

Sasuke stared at him for a moment before acting, "Hm. Fine let's go."

XxX

(Konoha Hospital)

Akiza sat playing with Tsunade's necklace that Naruto had given her and watched as Sakura proceeded with her rounds at the hospital. She came to pick her teammate and friend up for lunch after her early morning shift ended and see if she wanted to do anything after they were done.

Sakura walked over to Akiza with a smile on her face, "Okay, I'm done. Thanks for waiting Akiza-chan."

Akiza stood up, smoothing out her skirt and hoodie and returned Sakura's smile to her, "It's okay. I don't mind. All else there was to do today was to watch Fullmetal work on his seal, and I've had enough of that for the last year to last a lifetime. Besides he has Sasuke there so it should be fine."

Sakura noticed the necklace around Akiza's neck and gave her a knowing look, "So how are things? Is that knucklehead treating you good?"

"Of course he is." Akiza replied, tucking the necklace back into her hoodie as they walked through the halls, "Ever since we got back from Suna he's been doing everything I ask him to because he's sorry he made me fight Sasori. I keep telling him that it's okay, but he really doesn't want me fighting those Akatsuki people."

"Why not?" Sakura was confused, "You're really strong. You might have been able to win even if me and Chiyo-sama weren't there."

Akiza shook her head with a smile, "You don't give yourself enough credit you know? How many people our age can say that they took down an S-rank missing ninja before we even turn 16? You'd better take some pride in that." He finished, giving Sakura a friendly thump on the arm.

Sakura grinned back at her wryly, "You really don't want me to start doing that back to you do you?" Akiza paled at the thought of Sakura sending her flying just from a friendly tap on the arm, "So what are you up to these days?"

The two girls made their way from the hospital out to the street where Sakura stretched in the sun after being inside all morning. Akiza shook her legs out from sitting down for so long, "Well soon I'm going to be going on a short little patrol run mission towards the border. Hokage-sama said it was more to get me acquainted with different Konoha shinobi than just you guys and so that I could get some base knowledge of the countryside."

"How's Naruto taking that?" Sakura asked with a slight giggle.

"Fullmetal's so pissed about it." Akiza told her, confirming her thoughts, "He wants to go so bad to make sure everything goes okay for me, but I have to go on one mission without him right? I won't always be on Team 7, it's one member too many isn't it? Konoha operates in squads of three and four."

Sakura led Akiza through the streets to their destination, "It's just him showing he cares. Just tell him that the entire Team 7 situation was a favor from Tsunade-shishou in the first place. It can't really last forever unless there's a special reason for it."

Akiza placed her hand on her temple and rubbed it, "I really need to teach him how to go with the flow. He can't change everything with just action. There are some things that are just way over his head, he's strong but not nearly influential enough to get everything he wants. He's going to really get himself in trouble if he doesn't cool it at times."

"That's how he's always been." Sakura commented, "If he doesn't like the way things are then he'll just basically go out and change it. He thinks that enough effort can circumvent pretty much anything. There's nothing wrong with that, but has to pick his battles. This isn't worth getting upset over."

"Yeah…" A small smile came to Akiza's face however, "But to tell you the truth it is nice having someone willing to fight for me. Even for something small like team placements."

XxX

(Naruto's Apartment)

"How's it hanging runt?" Jushiro asked, looking over Naruto's shoulder at the kitchen table of the apartment, "And you even got the Uchiha kid to come with you. Hi Uchiha kid!" He said cheerfully.

"Hm."

"Sasuke says nice to see you too Big Boss." Naruto said as he sat writing his seals on the bottom of a pair of shinobi sandals, "Oi, can you lobby with Tsunade-baachan and get yourself placed on Akiza-chan's squad for her mission to the border?"

Jushiro stared at Naruto as if he had grown a second head, "And why the hell would you ask me to do that? I just got back from a mission last night. You want me to spend the next three days running across the entire country just because you're overprotective?"

"Exactly." Sasuke said, "That's what I told him. He even asked Haku too and she probably would have caved in, but she has shifts at the hospital to do for the rest of the week. Sakura told me there's nothing you can do to get out of those so Haku couldn't say yes."

"Hey!" Naruto said as if a lightbulb just went off, "Sakura-chan-."

"Isn't going dobe." Sasuke cut him off abruptly, "She has the early morning shifts while Haku has the night shifts. Speaking of which, shut up and stop being so loud." He looked up at Jushiro, "Haku's asleep in the other room."

Jushiro grinned at Sasuke, "You know I'm starting to like you a lot more." He poked Naruto in the head, "I wish this brat could be considerate sometimes."

Naruto stopped inscribing the seal and growled at the others angrily, "You guys don't get it!"

Jushiro knocked him on the back of the head, "Stop yelling, Haku-chan is asleep. And yes we do get it, we have girlfriends too, you don't want her getting hurt and you think you're the only one that can keep her safe. Oof!"

Jushiro was doubled over when Naruto slammed his auto-mail elbow back into his stomach, "No that's not it…" Naruto spoke dangerously as he grabbed Jushiro by the back of the head and mushed the side of his face against the table, "I finally figured out why Akiza-chan can't seem to sleep without me nearby. She has night terrors."

Jushiro spoke in a strained voice while Naruto was squishing his head against the table, "And what do you have to do about her not having them? Waking up to your face every morning would scare me even worse if I were her."

Naruto kicked Jushiro's legs out from under him, forcing him to fall on the floor after smashing his chin on the table, "She has to sleep right by me or she'll have them. That's why she was always clinging to me in our sleep, even before we were really going out. She knows and she won't tell me why or what's causing it so I can help."

Jushiro stood back up and glared at Naruto but didn't act as they had company and someone had to be mature, "So what will sending one of us do to help? We're not you runt. We won't be doing anything to help with that."

Sasuke nodded, "Yeah, it's just a border run too. She'll be there and back in a few days and that will be that. You have your own things to worry about right now. Just work on that seal and train and the time will fly by."

A sigh came from Naruto, "Well then I need to find Ero-sennin. Has he even been back in the village yet?"

Jushiro scratched his scalp and walked over to the refrigerator, "Nope, haven't heard a peep yet. He probably went back out to do his own thing instead of trying to catch up once he knew you two were safe back in the village. Don't worry, he'll turn up perving out at one of the hot springs sooner or later and you'll find him then."

Naruto frowned and grunted, "That's really not good enough. Kyuubi-chan told me something that I need to talk to him about when it comes to using her chakra. It's the reason that I can't go past three tails worth."

"Then it can definitely wait." Sasuke assured him, "What's really going to happen that needs you to go any further anytime soon?" Sasuke stood up, "Well I'm leaving. I'm supposed to meet Kakashi at our training field at one to work on my new jutsu."

Jushiro looked at the clock on the wall, "One? It's like fifteen minutes to three right now."

Sasuke and Naruto shared a glance and smirked, "I know. See you around dobe and dobe's brother." With that, Sasuke left the apartment.

Jushiro turned to his little brother, "Well everything's going to be fine runt. Just stop worrying about it so much. Let the thing with the Kyuubi sit for now and just let your Iwa girlfriend go on her mission so that when she gets back you two can have that 'I-missed-you-so-much' sex. Speaking of which, Haku-chan wasn't here when I got back last night so I'm going to go and handle that."

"Goddamn it Big Boss!" Naruto said, getting up abruptly and heading for the door, "You could have just hinted at it and I would have left, now I'm going to have that image burned into the back of my brain for the next four hours!"

"You're welcome!" Jushiro shouted back as he headed for his room while Naruto shut the apartment door behind him.

XxX

(Two Day Later – Uchiha Main House)

Sakura stared at Naruto who was laying on the couch face first, "Naruto this is pathetic, you need to go and do something." She said amused, "Is the fact that Akiza-chan isn't here really messing with you that much?"

Naruto rolled over and looked at the pink haired medic who was leaning on the couch, "Don't give me that crap Sakura. You know that you would be the exact same way I am right now if Sasuke-teme ever went off on his own mission without you. Have you two even had a separate mission in the last three years?" Sakura laughed sheepishly, "There's my point. Same with me and Akiza-chan. We've done pretty much everything together for the last two and a half years. So sorry if I'm kind of worried right now."

"Get out of my house dobe." Sasuke said dryly as he walked into the room, "You're right on the edge between houseguest and freeloader."

"What about Sakura?" Naruto replied, "You sure aren't going to kick her out."

"Of course I'm not." Sasuke said immediately in response, "Who kicks their girlfriend out of their house? Sakura can stay here whenever she wants, she's one step short of actually living here so she might as well."

Sakura's eyes snapped from Naruto over to Sasuke and stared at him bewilderment. Her voice sounded unbelieving as she finally opened her mouth to say something, "Sasuke-kun did you really mean that?"

Naruto grinned from his spot in the couch at his two teammates and friends, "Did you just speak Uchiha for 'I want Sakura to move in with me?' That's so special!"

Sasuke glared at Naruto and kept his eyes away from Naruto, "Stop acting like it's such a big deal. She comes over all the time and she should leave her parents' house eventually so it would just be better for everyone involved."

Sakura's eyes quivered with tears, "Do you really want me here Sasuke-kun?" She asked. If she didn't hear it directly from him there was no way she was going to go for it, he had to show he cared.

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair before looking Sakura straight in the eyes, "Yes Sakura. I really do want you here. I would love it if you moved in with me."

Naruto smiled serenely while Sakura walked slowly towards Sasuke before turning her bright green eyes up at him, "Of course I will. I'll move in Sasuke-kun." With that Sakura gave him a quick peck on the lips and gave him a massive hug.

"So... Much… _Love_!" Kakashi appeared alongside the two, sweeping them up in a hug that lifted them off of the ground. His face was in his classic eye-smile, "My cute little genin squad is all grown up now. I'm so proud!"

"Kakashi let go of us right now." Sasuke growled out, only forcing the masked jounin to squeeze harder around him and Sakura.

"Kakashi I think Sasuke's going to try and kill you if you don't let him go right now and I wouldn't blame him." Naruto said to his squad leader, though his own face was radiating glee at watching Sakura and Sasuke squirm in his grasp.

Kakashi blinked at Naruto and let them both go, "They wouldn't do that to me would they? Right guys?" He asked Sasuke and Sakura only to get a powered-up fist to the face. A puff of smoke revealed he had executed Kawarimi and Sakura had obliterated a log, "Maa, that was so mean Sakura." Kakashi said from Naruto's side.

Naruto laughed, "Maybe that's a sign that Sakura wants to consolidate her newly expanded relationship with Sasuke-teme? Should we let them alone?"

Kakashi shook his head and eye-smiled down at Naruto, "No Naruto, if she really did want to do that then our presence wouldn't have stopped it from happening. I remember back during the chunin exam where they both advanced to the survival portion-."

"I will kill you both!" Sasuke said with his Sharingan out and spinning in anger, "Don't you tell him that story damn it!"

Naruto sat up at attention, now fully invested in the conversation once he realized that merely alluding to it got a rise out of Sasuke, "What? I _have_ to know now. Come on Kakashi, remember, I never ask you for anything! You totally owe me and don't leave anything out, for the love of Kami give me blackmail!"

Sakura started cracking her knuckles and glaring at both Naruto and Kakashi darkly, "If you tell him that story Kakashi-sensei then there won't be enough pieces of either of you left to bury."

Both Naruto and Kakashi looked at both of them uncaringly. Naruto turned to the eldest shinobi in the room, "Do you care if they're pissed off?" Kakashi shook his head, "Good, neither do I. So let's continue this tale of embarrassment elsewhere."

"No you don't!" Sakura lunged at Naruto who was pulled off of the couch by Kakashi who both proceeded to high-tail it out of the house, dodging the shuriken thrown by Sasuke.

Both of them made it outside and ran down the street before stopping two blocks away, "Safe!" Naruto shouted only to have to dodge a fireball from Sasuke, "What the hell? We made it outside!"

Kakashi sweatdropped, "Well, we're still pretty much on Sasuke's property. Remember, he owns the entire area, it's his clan's compound. So we have, I would have to say, another mile before we're actually safe. Move." He said before shoving Naruto out of the way just as Sakura's fist descended between them, cracking the ground, "Every man for himself!" Kakashi shouted.

"What?" Naruto said as he found himself cornered by Sakura, "Fuck you Kakashi! What happened to that teammate speech you gave us when we first became genin?"

"They'll keep you alive, you'll just _wish_ you were dead!" Kakashi said as he kept running away, "I'll see you all bright and early tomorrow!" He disappeared over the horizon.

Naruto's back hit a wall with Sasuke and Sakura both closing in. Naruto took a deep breath and put on a serious face, "If you strike me down I'll become more powerful than you could ever possibly imagine."

"What?" Both Sasuke and Sakura said, forgetting their advance on the helpless jinchuuriki for the time being.

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know, I just thought it sounded cool. Anyway, I'll see you guys tomorrow." Naruto grinned ferally, made a series of hand-seals and clicked his heels together twice while, "There's no place like home! There's no place like home!" He jumped into the air and a cloud formed beneath his feet and a torrent of hot air rose from his shoes sending him rocketing off into the air on said cloud.

Sakura looked up at the disappearing Naruto in shock, "Did you know he could do that?"

XxX

(Meanwhile – Forests of Hi no Kuni)

For the last few days while on her mission Akiza hadn't felt out of place at all. The people she worked with were cordial enough to her, it left her kind of suspicious at first but she eventually cast that thought aside as it was unhealthy and illogical for her to think that way. One day left and she could go back home to Naruto, that was all she was really thinking about at the moment. She hadn't had a decent rest since she left.

For as long as she could remember she had horrible nightmares. The moment she was handed Sekki Kiritateru to train with she never had a good night's sleep. Ever since the age of ten all she could hope for was two hours of sleep a night at the most. Everyone that had lost their lives due to the blade itself haunted her dreams, never letting her rest. It was the weapon's way of trying to drive her insane. It might have actually done it had she not met Naruto when she did. For some reason his mere presence calmed her and the halberd down, something she couldn't explain, but it wasn't like it was something she really wanted to stop either. After three consecutive nights of sleep more peaceful than she could ever remember having she decided she was going to travel with him and see exactly how long it would last.

It never stopped. Being around Naruto most definitely calmed the weapon down, hence it stopped tormenting her. And that was when she started to fall for him, because his mere existence around her kept Sekki Kiritateru from tormenting her. And right now she was sorely missing him. The first thing she was going to do when she got home would be to drag him into the bed and sleep like the dead… and then maybe show him how much she really missed him when she woke up.

"Akiza-san you seem happy about something." Akiza was brought back from her own thoughts by one of her teammates, "You really need to get some sleep from the looks of it." The male shinobi said with a frown on his face once he noticed her eyes were slightly haggard and losing luster.

Akiza waved him off before being betrayed by her body with a yawn, "I'm fine Seto. It's probably better if I don't sleep. We'll be home tomorrow, I can wait until then." She let out a small laugh, "I never thought I'd be calling Konoha home, but Fullmetal…"

The man's frown stayed on, "So Uzumaki. What kind of person is he? We know that he's the one that brought you back after his trip with Jiraiya-sama."

"Yeah." A Konoha kunoichi insisted as she came up to them both, "We don't really know too much about the guy. We just know what everyone else has known for years."

Akiza narrowed her eyes, "Then you don't really know anything about him. He's not bad at all just because he's a jinchuuriki. He's way better than the one that Iwa keeps for sure, there's no comparison. Fullmetal doesn't hate you all the way Han hated everyone in Iwa, you should all know that. Han is a psychopath that the citizens all created. Just thank Kami that Fullmetal has the patience of a saint."

The kunoichi bristled slightly at her tone, "Hey we just wanted to know something about the kid. Who knows what he's been doing for the last few years? You obviously know what he is so you'd have to understand. You weren't there when the Kyuubi attacked, you don't know how malevolent it was. We have to walk around on eggshells around that kid after what we've heard about the jinchuuriki in other villages."

"Tsuruko that's enough." Seto said, trying to diffuse the situation, "Uzumaki's never done anything to make you think he was even going to come close to letting the Kyuubi lose or anything like that. Now let's go, we have to finish up so we can head back."

The woman and Akiza both glared at each other before turning away, getting Akiza to take note of something, "Hey, where's the other guy? He's been gone forever."

Tsuruko sighed, "Great… Now we have to wait for what's his face. Why is he on this mission again?" She haughtily stomped her foot on the ground, "And we can't just leave the punk here or he'll get himself lost or killed and we'll all get busted."

Akiza gave a dry look to Seto who was palming his face, "Tsuruko was never really one for the whole teamwork aspect of the job."

"Really?" Akiza said sarcastically, "I didn't notice."

"Doton: Ganchuusou (Earth Release: Rock Pillar Spear)!"

'I know that voice!' Akiza thought suddenly as a bead of sweat trailed down her face, "Get off of the ground now!" She screamed at her teammates. Seto immediately listened and swiftly followed her into the trees. Tsuruko was slow to react, being that she and the girl that had just shouted were currently at odds, and that was her final mistake. A mass of stone spikes protruded from the ground and impaled Tsuruko where she stood, killing her immediately.

Akiza looked down at her now deceased teammate with rage running through her system. She didn't really like the girl, but she knew who was attacking and what this meant, "What the fuck do you want Kurotsuchi? I'm not a part of Iwa anymore!"

The old acquaintance of Akiza emerged from the foliage with a smirk on her face, "I know. That's why I'm here. You're _our_ missing-ninja, you have _our_ secrets in your pretty little head, and you have _our_ artifact in your possession. These are all very valid reasons to send the hunter-nin after you, but I wanted to handle this one personally." She looked around and her smirk grew, "And your little protector isn't here either. Whatever happened to Namik-?"

"Don't you fucking use his real name damn you!" Akiza roared at Kurotsuchi. She turned to see Seto looking down at Tsuruko's dead body, "Seto, go back to Konoha. Find our other teammate but don't hold your breath on finding him. If Kurotsuchi is here then he's probably dead. Go home and tell them what's happening, I'll catch up after I'm done here."

"What?" The man cried, "We should fight her together! It's two on one this way!"

Akiza shook her head, "No it isn't going to be so easy. Trust me, I know Kurotsuchi, I'm way stronger than you and she's on my level at the very least, she's the Tsuchikage's granddaughter. You wouldn't last too long against her, just go and tell Hokage-sama what's happening!"

Seto looked at how serious she was and nodded before disappearing along the tree line heading back towards the village at top speed. Akiza raised an eyebrow at Kurotsuchi once he had left, "You're not trying to stop him?"

Kurotsuchi shrugged carelessly, "Why would I possibly want to do that? By the time he gets to Konoha you'll be beaten and there won't be anything anyone can do. This is technically legal since you're our nuke-nin. You picked the wrong side Akiza-_chan_."

"I'm not on anyone's side other than Fullmetal's. Why is that so hard for you and that old fossil to understand? And you can't kill me old friend, you know that already."

"I'm not trying to kill you." Kurotsuchi admitted, "We still need you alive to extract the information you gave to and have on Konoha, that and we still need to break your bond with Sekki Kiritateru. We'll do that and then we'll kill you, publicly of course. Nothing less for a traitor."

Akiza made a come hither gesture with her hands, "Come and get it then."

Kurotsuchi threw a handful of shuriken at Akiza who took cover behind the trunk of the tree before dropping levels to reach the ground quickly. She quickly found the branch that she attempted to land on occupied by Kurotsuchi who attacked her with taijutsu. Akiza got her hands up and stayed out of the way of the Iwa-nin's strikes before parrying one and delivering a spin kick to the back of her head. Once her sandal passed through the skull she knew that it had been a Bunshin of some sort having fought with them for years and was rewarded with being correct when it crumbled to rock, 'Iwa Bunshin (Rock Clone).'

"I know how to beat you Akiza." Kurotsuchi said as she landed on a nearby branch, "You can't summon Sekki Kiritateru unless you're touching the ground. Go ahead and look to see how possible that is for you right now."

Akiza drifted her gaze down to see that the forest floor was full of spikes much like the ones that took down Tsuruko, and the way down was booby trapped with ninja wire that would undoubtedly lead to explosives. Akiza's eyes panned back up and she set herself into a taijutsu stance, "I don't need that oversized toothpick to beat you, I never did." She sensed the movement from Kurotsuchi and jumped up higher in the branches to avoid another barrage of shuriken to grab on and swing herself across to Kurotsuchi's branch where she began to kick away at her.

Kurotsuchi blocked Akiza's first kick directed at her body and felt as if her arm would break from taking it, 'What? She was always terrible at unarmed combat!' Ducking Akiza's follow-up kick intended for her head she felt the wind shear from it blow her hair back, 'Why can she kick so hard?'

Akiza spun through with her missed head kick and smashed the branch they were standing on with an axe kick to get Kurotsuchi to fall into her own trap below. Kurotsuchi was prepared and both women jumped to a higher level of the forest to avoid falling with the dismembered branch. It fell into Kurotsuchi's trap wire and ignited a fiery explosion along the lower levels of the trees that both of them had to stop fighting in order to escape from.

Akiza watched the rising fireball from a safe distance and thought to herself as she attempted to locate Kurotsuchi, 'This was already set up and prepared. She knew I was coming this way already, but how? She had the battlefield picked out before I even showed my face.' She looked towards the ground in an effort to find a clear space but it was all covered with spikes, 'A lot of my earth elemental ninjutsu only work when I'm touching the ground. There isn't a lot I can do up here.'

"Katon: Hibashiri (Fire Release: Running Fire)!" Kurotsuchi appeared above Akiza and threw a kick from mid-air that sent off a wheel of fire towards her that came so close to hitting she could feel the heat in the air from the attack. Kurotsuchi came leaping back out of the fire and delivered a hard body blow to Akiza while she had been jumping away from the jutsu.

Her back smashed against the trunk of a tree and slipped down it before she began a fall down towards the ground and certain death when a hand caught her. A smirking Kurotsuchi was sticking to the side of a tree shaking her head with Akiza's arm in grasp, "I already told you we can't have you dying on us yet.

A huge evil grin crossed Akiza's face, "That's what I was hoping on bitch." Akiza stuck her legs back to the tree trunk showing she was only feigning her situation and delivered a kick to the side of Kurotsuchi's body with the force of a baseball bat. Seeing her fly off into a distant direction from her kick, Akiza began a long chain of hand-seals while she had the chance to.

Kurotsuchi was cursing Akiza for using a trick like that to ensure she got close enough to hit her solidly as she picked herself up off of a branch along the side of a tree trunk. That one kick felt like she had just been hit by the Tsuchikage's other bodyguard Akatsuchi. There was no doubt that Akiza hadn't just been sitting on her ass in Konoha, she had been working too. But there were far too many factors putting this fight out of her reach. She only had one element she could use while Kurotsuchi did not, she couldn't summon her best weapon because she needed her feet on the ground to do that. It was in Kurotsuchi's favor and there was no way she was losing here.

She started heading back towards Akiza to see her making a long set of hand-seals with a look of determination in her eyes, "I don't need to be on the ground to use all of my jutsu Kurotsuchi, just the convenient ones. Doton: Iwa no Shougeki (Earth Release: Rock Bombardment)!" She lifted her arms up with her palms to the sky as the ground rumbled and sent massive chunks of earth flying from the ground behind her at Kurotsuchi who had to keep dodging lest she get hit by one. Akiza navigated the dangerous terrain as pieces of rock fell all around her, this was mostly a diversion so that she could get close. She knew Kurotsuchi could dodge every last one, but she wasn't used to fighting in trees so she would have to focus to evade the onslaught.

'Giving her so much time to pull that one off was a mistake!' Kurotsuchi shouted inside of her own head as a large rock slammed into the trunk of the tree she was standing on, shaking it violently and forcing her to generate chakra to her feet to stay on the branch. She never saw Akiza land right on her branch and deliver a kick that sent her face first into the very same tree trunk. She pushed herself off to avoid getting her skull crushed against it by Akiza's heel but still ended up taking that foot to the face when Akiza pulled it off of the tree.

She threw a punch in retaliation but Akiza threw a spinning front high kick that caught the inside of her forearm, throwing her punch to the side before spinning through and delivering a spinning back kick to the body with her other leg that sent all of the air she had at the moment out of her body. Kurotsuchi dropped to her knees involuntarily due to the force of her kicks only to take the bottom of Akiza's foot right in her face sending her directly onto her back where Akiza stood on her throat. Kurotsuchi tried to pry her foot off, but Akiza's legs were too powerful for her to do so.

Akiza wiped her brow, breathing heavily, 'Why am I so tired? Training with Fullmetal was ten times harder than that.' She looked down at Kurotsuchi, "You made a ton of mistakes today. Coming after me in the first place was the most glaring one I can think of. Even remembering I exist in the first place even though I hold Iwa no true ill will was another one. But the biggest one was that you came alone."

"She wasn't alone."

Akiza felt powerful hands wrap around her neck and lift her off of Kurotsuchi as they started squeezing the life out of her. She kicked back at her attacker but only solid clangs were her reward for her efforts, 'No, not him too! Here? They actually let him out?' She felt her eyes start to shut as she finally lost consciousness and her attacker dropped her to the branch.

Kurotsuchi was clutching at her neck where Akiza had been standing before glaring up at her savior, "I told you to stay out of it Han! I didn't need your help to beat her."

A massive man wearing a sleeveless black gi over heavy red armor that covered him from his shins to the tip of his nose cracked his black gloved knuckles. He had on a red conical straw hat that seemed to be made of the same material as his armor under which his Iwagakure hitae-ate sat. The only visible thing on his body was the area right around his red eyes, red eyes that he turned on Kurotsuchi, "You could have fooled me. I was sent by both your father and your grandfather to dispatch all threats to you."

Kurotsuchi stood up, "No, you were sent to engage Namikaze in case he showed up to protect her. That was your true mission." Kurotsuchi calmed herself and rubbed at her throat, "I guess it doesn't really matter now does it?"

Han looked down at Akiza as Kurotsuchi began binding her limbs with ninja wire, "I have no idea how she didn't notice my approach. I thought for sure she would see or sense me and I would have been forced to actually fight."

Kurotsuchi shook her head as she finished up, "No, look at her eyes. She hadn't had a good night's sleep in forever. She was pretty much running on empty through the entire fight. Sekki Kiritateru curses its wielder until it can force them to seek out and accomplish its task, but that task is a mere legend. It's why I didn't put my name up to see if I could get it."

Han nodded and picked up Akiza over his shoulder, "Time to go back to hell I guess. I wished this would have lasted longer so I could have more time away from that cesspool of hypocrites."

"Don't talk about the village that way Han." Kurotsuchi said defensively, "Where is your loyalty to them? To us?"

Han scoffed and turned his back revealing a steam furnace attached, "Where the hell is their loyalty to me? Or yours? I only do this because if I didn't your grandfather would rip the Gobi out of my body and find another puppet to use even if I refused." With that, Han leapt off back towards Iwa.

Kurotsuchi frowned, "He's your grandfather too." She said out of Han's earshot before looking at the damage left from her battle with Akiza. She gingerly touched her neck before clinching her fists angrily and following after Han.

* * *

**Chapter complete. Sorry for the delay people. This is supposed to be a pivotal arc so I wanted to ensure that I had everything prepared and outlined for what was to come for this. However even with the delay I'm still putting this thing out faster than 85% of other writers and we all know that except for the military, mediocrity holds sway in the great nation of the United States of America, so it's all good.**

**Anyway, this is the start of it and I hope it will be as good as I've hoped it would be for quite some time. Later, and enjoy your Christmas. And if you don't celebrate Christmas then enjoy your Saturday, although I don't know how you will, everything will be closed.**

**Kenchi out.**


	59. Gone Baby Gone

I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I went into the past and changed this however who knows how the world would have changed? Maybe I would have been able to enslave the earth by now the way I always wanted to.

**Chapter 59: Gone Baby Gone**

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Naruto was asleep peacefully in his own bed. He hadn't made a big deal of it, but he had flown around the entire village a few times and even saw how high he could go. He made it to about 10,000 feet, not that he knew that though… When he reached 12,000 feet he kind of blacked out and fell back towards the ground. The only thing that saved his life was that Kyuubi slapped the taste out of his mouth in the mindscape and woke him back up with enough time to form another cloud and stop his descent.

That led to him, freezing cold, plopping down in his bed and drifting off to sleep, allowing Kyuubi to berate him about how stupid it was to be that high in the air, as if he would ever need to go anywhere near that high. It had been a week and Akiza was to get back either late the night before or early that morning. He would know when she was back because he was certain she would crawl into bed with him and they would have a nice little three or four hour nap before engaging in some adult activities… because he missed her, and he knew she missed him too.

Sensing the presence of someone entering the room Naruto opened his eyes with a smile only to find Haku standing there, "Haku-neechan?"

Haku couldn't seem to meet his eyes with hers and had a look of trepidation on her pretty features, "Naruto-kun… The Hokage wants you to report to her office. Right now."

Naruto groaned and sat up out of bed, "What? Why now? She's really going to call me up for a mission right now before Akiza-chan gets back in? Baa-chan is going to have hell to pay when I get in there." He noticed the expression on Haku's face, "What's the matter Haku-chan?"

Haku bit her lip and moved forward, pulling her future brother-in-law into a hug that surprised him. Naruto was confused, but returned the hug nonetheless. Once he heard Haku sniffle on his shoulder however, he pulled away to see that her eyes were rather puffy, "Are you alright, what's wrong? Did Big Boss do something stupid?"

Haku shook her head and wiped at her eyes, "Uh, you should get going Naruto-kun. Get dressed and don't keep Hokage-sama waiting okay?" Haku pasted on a false smile trying to convince him she was fine.

Naruto didn't like it, but she was right. Tsunade would be pissed at him if he kept her waiting and he didn't feel like getting something thrown at him today, neither did he feel like getting socked in the face and sent flying all the way across the village, even if he could right himself in mid-air now… the punch itself still hurt.

Letting the matter drop for now, Naruto nodded and moved around Haku towards his dresser and closet to grab clean clothes, "Okay. I'm going to catch a quick shower and head over there. I'll see you when I get back Haku-neechan."

Haku continued to smile until Naruto entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him. She then headed to the room that she and Jushiro shared and sat on the bed. Once she heard the sound of the shower running, Haku began weeping to herself inconsolably.

XxX

(Iwagakure – Tsuchikage's Office)

Kurotsuchi bowed in front of the desk of Onoki before standing and giving her report, "Mission complete Tsuchikage-sama. Akiza Tamagawa is in our custody as we speak."

Onoki, the grizzled old Tsuchikage, smirked deviously at hearing that, "Very good work Kurotsuchi. It seems you were correct. You were the right person for the job."

Kurotsuchi beamed slightly at the man's praise, "Well Han was also a great help. I couldn't have succeeded with the capture without his assistance."

Onoki's mustache twitched, "So the Fullmetal brat stuck his nose into the situation again did he?"

Kurotsuchi looked away, "Not quite. But he was still invaluable to the success of the mission."

Onoki scoffed, "Yes I'm sure he was." He said sarcastically, "The only reason he was sent was to handle Uzumaki, and he didn't show himself so it was simply a risk of your health sending him with you. He will break one of these days Kurotsuchi… and hopefully you will not be here to see it.

She looked around the room uncomfortably before looking at her grandfather in curiosity, "So what will happen to Akiza now? Sekki Kiritateru wasn't with her so I don't know how the bond between her and the tool can be broken for us to redistribute the weapon."

Onoki chuckled, "Don't you worry about that Kurotsuchi. When we sever the connection and kill Akiza, the weapon will summon itself to mark the place where she dies."

"By kill…" Kurotsuchi said, "You mean execute, right?"

"Yes of course." Onoki admitted, "She will have to be bound heavily once we finish the extraction as she will be driven into a berserker state and become a mindless killing golem, but once that is done the execution will be carried out as intended. Missing-ninja get no leniency. An example must be made that there is no desertion from our forces."

"Naturally Tsuchikage-sama." Kurotsuchi replied, "When will these things take place?" She asked.

Onoki smirked once more, "Why once we extract every bit of information we can on Konoha from her. She's been more useful since deserting than she ever had been. She traveled with that thrice damned Jiraiya and that runt Uzumaki for two and a half years." His voice sounded rather pleased on how things had turned out for Iwa from this exchange, "Can you imagine the village secrets and treasures the girl became privy to once she earned their trust and especially when she became Uzumaki's personal whore."

"Speaking of which…" Kurotsuchi stopped him from speaking, "She had this on her when we captured her." Kurotsuchi pulled out the necklace that Naruto had been given by Tsunade.

Onoki's eyes widened when she saw that before he began laughing uproariously, "This is just perfect! I couldn't have asked for a better slap in the face to Konoha! The crystal necklace of Hashirama Senju! *laughs* I can't even imagine how she obtained this, but… I don't even have words for this! This retrieval mission has paid off better than I could have possibly imagined."

Kurotsuchi grinned at seeing how pleased the village leader and her grandfather was at the outcome of everything, "If that is everything you need from me-."

Onoki sat back behind his desk, staring at the necklace in something of a trance, "Kurotsuchi you will be paid for the equivalent of two S-ranked missions. Well done. Take some time off and I will summon you when you are good and rested."

Kurotsuchi bowed to Onoki and turned to leave the office, "Thank you grandfather."

"No, thank you Kurotsuchi." Onoki said to her warmly, "You've earned it ten times over." With that, Kurotsuchi left the office and left Onoki to his own devices, "I should say, when I heard that your master had brought information of an opportunity to retrieve my wayward kunoichi I figured that the price would be steeper than it was. Although with you, his own mole, as a teammate on her squad to signal my granddaughter and our jinchuuriki to take her the chance of success was too much to ignore."

In a swirl of ink, a boy wearing a shirt that revealed his mid-riff, black pants, a tanto on his back, and a black Konoha hitae-ate stood in Onoki's office, "Danzo-sama revealed this information to you for the good of Konoha. It was revealed that having the girl in our village provided no advantages as she knew no true secrets of your village. Add that onto the information that she would be privy to by the company she kept being so high up in the village hierarchy, the fact that she was not a loyal-borne Konoha shinobi, and had already proven her disloyalty to her own native village among other negatives to her presence, and returning her to you for the gains we would receive in return were well worth while."

Onoki looked at the young teenager, "Of course. Once I am able to receive the money for the necklace I will certainly reimburse Danzo's Root with one-fifth of the profits. And I will of course support him once he finally decides to take control of Konoha."

The Root operative bowed to the Tsuchikage, "By your leave then Tsuchikage-sama." With that, he vanished in another swirl of ink.

Onoki was once again left alone in his office to marvel at the newly obtained necklace, "The scales of balance in the ninja world are finally tipping once more."

XxX

(Konohagakure – Hokage Tower)

Naruto walked into the tower and headed to Tsunade's office to find a man sitting out front with Shizune consoling him for something. The man had on a Konoha hitae-ate and looked rather scuffed up. His mission must have gone wrong. Poor guy.

Shizune looked over at Naruto with a sad look on her face. That guy must have had a rough one, "Naruto-kun, go on inside. Tsunade-sama is waiting for you there."

Naruto nodded, "Alright Shizune-neechan." Naruto opened the doors to Tsunade's office to find people already inside. Sitting in a chair near Tsunade's desk was Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage, Tsunade's predecessor. Pacing around the room with a barely restrained aura of malice on his form was Naruto's older brother Jushiro, "Big Boss what's wrong? What's going on?"

Jushiro stopped pacing and gestured from Naruto to Tsunade impatiently, "Go ahead… Tell him what you told me and see how this ends."

Tsunade looked at Naruto and sighed deeply before her eyes started resonating sorrow at what she was about to say, "Naruto, Akiza is missing in action."

Naruto simply stood as still as a statue with horrified eyes. Jushiro walked over and patted him consolingly on the shoulder. Naruto opened his mouth wordlessly several times before he was able to make a sound, "H-How?"

Tsunade folded her hands in front of her face in a business-like manner, "On her mission her squad was attacked by a shinobi from Iwagakure in an ambush. One of her teammates was killed in action, another was recorded missing as of now, and the other was able to arrive here in good enough condition to relay this to us."

Naruto turned towards the door, "So the guy outside-."

Tsunade nodded, "Yes. He was the only one that made it home. They were attacked by a woman named Kurotsuchi. Akiza instructed him to flee as she was above his level of skill to handle. She hasn't reported back. He said the woman was instructed to capture her and return her to Iwa. I'm sorry."

Naruto just stood there with a blank look on his face as if what she said hadn't registered with him yet. However after a few minutes of waiting for any kind of response for Naruto and receiving none, Hiruzen walked over to Naruto, "Naruto I know that this is the first time you've lost someone close to you in your life as a shinobi, but do not lament endlessly. Take your time and always remember her, but do not mourn forever. The grief has destroyed many a splendid ninja."

Naruto still remained still as if he was processing all that he had heard until his eyes flickered red for a moment and he turned towards the door to leave, "Don't worry jiji, Tsunade-baachan. I won't mourn her… because she's not dead. I'm not going to lament… because I'm going to get her. And I'm not going to lose her, because I'm going to save her and I'm going to turn Iwa into gigantic scar on the planet."

Jushiro stopped Naruto and grabbed his shoulder, "Oh no you're not runt. You're fucking insane if you think you're going to Iwa… by yourself. I'm coming with you." Naruto looked at him expressionlessly, getting a grin from his older brother, "You don't even know how you're going to destroy that place. What was your plan?"

"Blow it to bits." Was the cold response from Naruto.

Jushiro shook his head, "You never really grasped the concept of what Big Fucking Transmutation was originally developed for, did you?" Naruto didn't make any indication one way or the other as to whether or not he knew, "You think too small little brother… you think too small. Walk with me."

"Naruto!" Tsunade's voice rang out before they could leave, "I can't let you go. You would walk right into the heart of Iwagakure, with the massive bounty of kill on sight placed on you, all by yourself, for one girl?"

Naruto shook his head, "Wouldn't you have done it for your loved ones Baa-chan?" Naruto said, getting her to gasp, "Wouldn't you have walked right up to the gates of hell and spit in face of the Lord of Makai if you could save them?" He turned around and revealed that one of his eyes was slitted and red to contrast the other that was stone-cold blue, "You can make it a mission… or you can mark me as a missing-nin right now and get everyone to try and capture me, but you won't catch me."

"And why not Naruto?" Tsunade said, "We _can't_ let you go. It's suicide! If I have to I will keep you under confinement, I'm not letting you throw your life away like that. Akiza wouldn't want that!"

"No she wouldn't you're right." Naruto admitted, "But this time it's about what I want." Naruto said, his voice taking on more of an edge as he continued to speak, "I haven't done a single thing for myself in my entire life. Right from the start I've done everything for my village… even when I didn't know it. I never said anything. I never asked why me, and when I found out why it had to be me I never dwelled on it. But goddamn it, I finally get something that I want, and I'm just supposed to let her go?" He said incredulously with an angry tone.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes, "Naruto, I understand. Honestly I do, believe me, but I can't let you go! Do you realize that this would be a direct declaration of war if you were caught? We would be at war for this!"

"A war that would be over before it even got started." Naruto said as he walked towards the window, "If what Big Boss told me is right, then Iwa won't even exist by the time I'm done. They won't even know what hit them."

Tsunade stood up from her desk and slammed her hands on it, cracking it deeply, "You would take down the entire village? Just like that? Naruto that would make you a-."

"Jinchuuriki." Naruto finished for her, "That would make me a jinchuuriki Baa-chan. This is what I was meant to do from day one. When Kyuubi-chan was placed in me I became this village's weapon. Well sometimes weapons go off by accident, and this one happens to be pointed at Iwa. And you can't make me stop." With that, Naruto threw the windows open and jumped out before forming a cloud under his feet and taking off in a torrent of hot wind.

"Damn it Naruto!" She turned towards the others to find that only Hiruzen was there, Jushiro had been long gone, probably to prepare his own things for whenever Naruto was to set out, "Fuck! Shizune, order a lockdown of the village gates, he isn't getting out!" Said girl had run into the room when she heard Tsunade yell the first time and immediately left to relay the order, "What am I going to do Sarutobi-sensei?"

Hiruzen sighed and walked over to his student, "You know that he's already gone right? Locking down the village isn't going to work when he can just fly five hundred feet over the gate itself."

Tsunade sat back down at her desk, "He's going to start an entire war over this… And I can't blame him, but damn it, one life for countless others."

Hiruzen looked out the open window Naruto flew from, "It's a terrible choice to make. One his father had to make on the day of his birth, one I've had to make countless times, one you have and will continue to make until you retire. It doesn't seem as if Naruto is ready to let go and make a choice of that magnitude yet." He turned around and walked out of the office, "Don't worry Tsunade. I will handle this myself, don't worry."

XxX

(With Naruto)

He had left the village without express permission from his village leader. He had directly disobeyed a direct order that instructed him to stay put. Yeah, he was pretty much screwed. Well if he was going to go missing-nin anyway he might as well go ahead with the reason he was going to be hunted like game and get Akiza free. Naruto landed a fair distance from Konoha, so far that he knew it would take anyone dispatched from the village to get him a good amount of time to even pick up any kind of trail. And if anyone even got close he could just fly away further.

He then proceeded to slap the taste out of his own mouth as hard as he could with his auto-mail arm, leaving a throbbing red mark on his face and drawing blood from his lip. Convincing himself that what he had done was real and that he had to deal with the ramifications of his actions he decided to simply head to Iwa and turn the place into a warzone to get his girl back. He was about to initiate flight when he was cracked across the back of the head hard.

He was sent flying and smashed face first into a tree. Damn that hurt. He hadn't been hit like that since the time he and Akiza made Ero-sennin go… hard…

Oh shit.

Naruto stood up and cleared the swimming sensation from his head. Turning around he saw the man with his arms crossed and a grim expression on his face, "Tsunade sent me a hawk."

Naruto wiped a trickle of blood that was falling from the hairline of his head as he faced down his sensei, "And you're here to stop me… Or did you just miss me and want to smash me over the head for old-times sake?"

"Go home gaki." Jiraiya said firmly, "This is out of your league. We're not talking about one or two ninja that are coming after you and are trying to keep you alive. This is an entire fortified village, on alert, full of highly trained shinobi all willing to end your life at the nearest opportunity. You don't know the first thing about the place, and they have a bounty on you anyway." His eyes bored into Naruto's, "This. Is. Suicide."

Naruto stared at Jiraiya for a long time as the only sound was the sound of nature around them, and even that stopped after a while, "I. Don't. Care." Naruto clinched his fists so hard the metal of his right hand was rattling, "They don't want her, they send her on a mission to either kill me or die alone, miles away from home, with no one that cared. She's nothing but a pawn to all of them. I'm all she's got Ero-sennin."

Jiraiya walked forward, "This is bigger than just you or just her. It's about keeping the status quo kid. The entire state of the Five Great Nations is a powder keg set to light off. Anything could spark the next great war. If you do this you'll throw the entire world into chaos. Do you remember what I told you about peace?"

Naruto nodded, "Peace will only work if all sides want it. Well it's pretty fucking obvious that Onoki-teme and his gaggle of mindless drones don't want peace, they want a fight. Well they picked the wrong person to pick a fight with. I can turn that entire village into a fucking fading memory in one night."

Jiraiya's eyes hardened, "You would just wipe them off the face of the planet like that? What about peace? Didn't you promise me that you would help bring peace to the nations?" He said, raising his voice.

"You know I can Ero-sennin." Naruto said, "And I'll help keep the peace, yeah, I'll bring peace to Iwa. After all, what's more peaceful than death?" Jiraiya's hand resonated off of Naruto's face with an audible slap that forced Naruto to bite down on his tongue and stagger back.

"You're being stupid." Jiraiya said resolutely.

Naruto spit out a mouthful of blood and growled out a response, "You did always call me stupid didn't you? Everybody does! So why can't a stupid fucking kid do stupid fucking things?"

Jiraiya sighed bleakly, "Don't do this brat. Go home. Revenge never solved anything. It just ends up making things worse in the long run."

Naruto stared him down with his eyes fully radiating Kyuubi's chakra, "You're just saying that because you never got your revenge all in the first shot."

"I see. I can't let you do it. You don't know what you're getting yourself into." With that, Jiraiya disappeared in a puff of smoke. Naruto's eyes widened as he felt the burst of chakra from a shunshin behind him and turned around, "Gogyou Fuuin (Five Elements Seal)!" Jiraiya slammed his five fingers, each glowing purple with kanji on the fingertips into Naruto's belly, doubling him over his arm unconscious and allowing Jiraiya to hold him up.

XxX

(Iwagakure – ANBU HQ)

Akiza was clad only in her chest bindings and her skirt and sandals, chained to a wall in her cell with her arms outstretched. She was seated on the ground crosslegged with her head lowered towards the ground. The cell door opened up and Kurotsuchi stepped inside with her hands on her hips looking down at Akiza. When the light hit her it was evident that there were small gashes about her arms, and she had multiple bruises and marks about her body revealing she had had a rough go of it thus far.

"So…" Kurotsuchi started, "This is what it all got you." She said, walking around the cell slowly. Akiza still kept her head down, not acknowledging the girl's presence whatsoever, "All of that time and effort you could have spent actually doing your job and eliminating Uzumaki, it didn't have to be this way."

Akiza still said nothing, and Kurotsuchi kept speaking, "What was wrong with you? You did all of that work to get so far! You were so talented! You graduated at nine, you became a chunin at eleven and a jounin at thirteen! Why did you betray us all? Why did you betray us?"

"Killing for this village was all I could ever do." Akiza said quietly, "That entire time I kept thinking that if I just became a great ninja… people would see me and appreciate me… they would know I exist." She let silence sit for a moment, "I was so lonely. We were always so busy Kurotsuchi… always working. You had family. You had friends that were friends of your family already. You don't know what I'm talking about."

Kurotsuchi scoffed and crossed her arms, "What does being lonely have to do with anything we're talking about?"

Akiza let out a small laugh as she kept her head down, "Of course you wouldn't know what I'm talking about. Only one person I've met knows what I feel in this village." Akiza tilted her head up with cold eyes, "Han does. Your cousin. You know, your family? The one you and your father and your uncle keep miles out of the village, away from everyone ever since he had the Gobi placed in him? The one you all treated like the plague and drove certifiably insane! Is that ringing any-?"

Kurotsuchi slapped Akiza across the face stopping her from continuing. The hit only brought a smirk to the captured kunoichi's face, "Touched a nerve did I? I guess I picked that up from Fullmetal." She looked back at Kurotsuchi with serious eyes, "That's what I'm talking about. I don't have a single damn reason other than duty to stay loyal here. At least Han has 'your family honor' or his duty as the village's 'protector' to keep him from razing this place to the ground. I didn't even have that. And duty without any reason to serve is nothing." She spit on the ground, "Going missing-nin was the greatest thing I ever did."

Kurotsuchi reached down and grabbed Akiza by her chin roughly and made her look her in the eyes, "You won't be thinking that when they start in on you soon. You've never been tortured before have you? Don't worry, they're not going to maim that pretty little face or mess with that pretty little body of yours. That's barbaric. No, but you'll wish they did… because the other ways are far worse I've been told. But you'll see soon enough. You're going to tell us everything you know about Konoha; their defenses, the skills of their elites, current operations in the works, and about your little lover Uzumaki. "

Akiza smirked again, "And there you go again… I'll never do that. You're not getting a damn thing out of me, because there's only one thing in this entire world I owe my complete allegiance and loyalty to. It's not Konoha, it's not Jiraiya-sensei, it's damn sure not Iwa, and it's damn sure not you. It's Fullmetal." She leaned as far forward as she could, chained as she was, "He's the only one that was ever there for me. I was never a burden to him, never a waste of life. So if they think they'll get even a single syllable out of me about anything involving him those bastards will be waiting an awful long time."

Kurotsuchi let go of Akiza and gave her one more look of distaste before turning to leave, "We'll see. I'll be back Akiza-_chan_. My old _friend_. Sweet dreams." With that, the cell door was opened and Kurotsuchi was permitted to leave.

Akiza's head lowered once more after hearing the cell door close and lock, "I haven't had sweet dreams in six years..." A small smile came to her face, "Only with him… He's the only one that could ever give my dreams peace. My Fullmetal."

XxX

(Konohagakure – Middle of the Night)

As silenced reigned over the night, Jushiro walked through the village before he stopped in his tracks. He let out a loud sigh, "You know it's kind of appropriate that you would be the one out here old man." From the shadows, Hiruzen's silhouette could be seen, "You remember all those years ago when you ended up goading me into being one of you ninja? *laughs* All those years ago I wanted to be a fucking blacksmith, can you believe that?"

A fond chuckle came from the shadowed old man, "Yes… things were so much simpler back then. Do you miss it Jushiro?"

Jushiro let out a slight laugh, "Old man, things haven't been simple since the day I walked into this village with the old bat Pinako and Winry-chan. You should know something… I don't hold any real love for Konoha. When I lived with Naruto when he was a kid and I was a genin you have no idea how many times I wanted to turn this place inside out because of how they looked at him. Waiting for me to slip up and leave him vulnerable, by himself, so they could pounce on him like jackals on raw meat. I was never going to leave him alone, he was my cute little brother."

"You were a very honorable young man. You still are."

"Yeah I am." Jushiro said, "And what kind of honor would I show by letting my little brother go off and get himself killed?"

"You could stop him?"

"No I can't." Jushiro said firmly, "I can't stop him, and honestly I wouldn't even if I could. Because I understand, because I wish I had the strength and the courage to do what he is going to do back when I had the chance."

"Orochimaru."

Jushiro nodded, "Yes… You don't know how many times that day runs back in my mind. Just for what? A theory of immortality that might not even have existed? He wouldn't have known how Alchemy worked anyway. Why kill them? They were his only link. He took everything from me. My only blood." The white-haired genin took a deep breath and looked up at the moon, "And now the same thing is happening to my little otouto. Maybe Alchemy is cursed? The devil's science."

"Naruto-kun still has you. He still has you and people that care."

"What? Friends?" Jushiro asked the wise old man, "He has people that would care if he was dead or not if that's what you mean. His teammates would be shaken for a while, the genin that graduated with him would feel it for a while, but the only one that would really care if he ever died would be me. Me and Akiza." Jushiro looked at the shadowed legend of Konoha, "Akiza is the only person that has ever said that she loved him. I've never said it to him because we were both kids, we never had to, it would have been weird. But Akiza, she says it to him every day and the way she looks at him and how he looks back at her."

Jushiro shook his head, "I can't let her die on him. He would break the taboo for her. He would try the one thing I never told him to do with his Alchemy for her, he would try to bring her back from the dead, and damn it I can't let him do it. It would destroy his body, but he wouldn't care because his heart would already be dead." He took the engagement ring on his finger off and kissed it before placing it in his pocket, "I'll fight you if you won't let me leave with him to save her old man. It would break Haku-chan's heart, but I can't leave Naruto alone. He's my brother."

"The Will of Fire does burn in you the way I knew it did when I met you all those years ago." Hiruzen said, "To do this for your little brother. To go against an entire village just for the opportunity to do battle with another village for his happiness and safety. Entrusting Naruto-kun's safety to you even as a young boy was truly my greatest decision." He started stepping from the shadows.

Jushiro's eyes widened once he got a good look at him, "Old man… are you-?"

Hiruzen was dressed in his full battle gear, the same gear he had only worn once in the last three years. Gear that Jushiro was very familiar with from their battle with Orochimaru during Konoha's Invasion, "I have never done enough for Naruto-kun. I handed off responsibility of his well-being to you instead of taking charge and keeping him safe the way you did. All Naruto-kun has ever done is protect this village one way or another for his entire life. It is time that I return that favor to him on behalf of all of Konohagakure, even if they won't do it themselves."

XxX

(Top of Hokage Monument)

Naruto was lucky to be out of custody at the moment. Jiraiya had knocked him out with the Gogyou Fuuin (Five Elements Seal) and sealed off any connection he had to Kyuubi. He couldn't even enter his mindscape to speak to her or see what it was like in there, 'So this is what it's like to not have a biju…' Naruto had to say that it sucked. His chakra control was shot to hell. He couldn't even stand on the cloud to fly his way to Iwa now. His plan of action was dead in the water and he knew it.

After Jiraiya hit him with the first seal he placed a security measure somewhere Naruto couldn't reach and break himself to keep him from just taking the Gogyou Fuuin off himself. So now he couldn't even fix himself. With no plan of action and no way to even take the handicap off of himself, Naruto had resigned himself to sitting atop the giant stone faces carved into the cliffside. He couldn't sleep. Every time he slept he would see her face, and he had no one to talk with about this… not like he would anyway.

"I knew I would find you here Naruto-kun." Naruto's eyes widened and his head snapped around to see Hinata standing there behind him walking towards him slowly, "You would always find your way up here when you were younger and something troubled you. You haven't been up here in a long time."

Naruto turned back towards the village, "So you know about it by now I guess."

"Yes." Hinata said, "Everyone knows about it by now. Her teammate told people, then there was the ruckus from Hokage-sama's office, Jiraiya-sama carrying you back into the village unconscious. By now everyone in the village knows what happened." She let that set for a moment, "How are you?"

"I knew I should have been there." Naruto said to himself, "Everyone kept saying it would all be fine, that I was just being paranoid about something happening. I knew better. And now she's gone, just as quickly as she showed up and leaving me just as unaware."

Hinata walked closer, "Would you go after her if you could?" She said seriously, "If you were able to go off after her would you?"

"In a heartbeat." Naruto replied, "I would take off right now, and I wouldn't look back whether it killed me or not. Missing-nin or not I wouldn't leave her there."

"What about being Hoka-?"

"Hokage be damned…" Naruto said with resolve, "If me being Hokage couldn't change this, couldn't fix this. If me being Hokage would still mean that I couldn't save a single damn person that I cared for when it actually mattered then what the hell would it all be for?"

"You made promises Naruto-kun. And you never go back on those." Hinata said, "You promised Neji-niisan you would change the Hyuuga Clan once you became Hokage."

"I already did that." He said surprising her, "The seal right?" Naruto said, getting a silent nod that he couldn't see out of her, "I already handled that. Apparently Ero-sennin had already been working on it on and off for years. I finished it myself to get his recommendation as a sealing artist. I just now did it in the downtime from the mission to save Gaara and never got to show him when we got back. I don't have any promises to fulfill except the Hokage dream, but no one ever really achieves their first dream Hinata-chan. People switch dreams three or four times before they get the one they actually stick with."

Hinata looked at him with a stunned look on her face, "What is your dream now then?"

"It's a secret." He said before turning around, "But Akiza-chan was supposed to be a part of it."

Hinata just looked at him as he was finally facing her, "Why won't you cry Naruto-kun?"

Naruto shook his head, "Because crying won't bring her back. Because if I cry she won't be sitting on the couch when I go home. Crying isn't going to solve a damn thing except make people feel sorry for me, and that won't make them help me go get her... all they'll ever say is that I should 'remember her' no one says anything about saving her."

Hinata sighed and activated her Byakugan before speaking a moment later, "I can fix you if you want."

"What?" Naruto replied in confusion.

"The thing that's keeping you from trying to leave again, it's something to do with your chakra right?" She said, still observing him, "I can see how weak it is compared to normal, and how there's a major blockage of chakra flow centered around your stomach area. It's disrupting your entire system."

"Can you?" He asked somewhat hopefully before his tone lowered to something more accusing, "Will you? What do you want for this?"

"Nothing." Hinata whispered, "I don't want a single thing from you Naruto-kun. You've done more than enough if what you said about the seal and my family is true. If I asked you for anything like for you to forget about her, or to see me as you would her for just one night it would be the hollowest feeling I could image having. I don't want anything from you, just make sure you save her."

Naruto gave her a small smile, "You know I will."

Hinata returned his smile and moved closer to him, "Hold still Naruto-kun." With that Hinata began jabbing random points throughout his body, a few very close to his heart, a few around his shoulders and the bases of his legs, and even a few directly in his head. Naruto felt very nervous trusting Hinata with access to such vital areas, but he knew she wasn't a treacherous person. Hinata stopped and hit him a few times around his stomach, making her physically uncomfortable, but once she finished he felt completely revitalized.

He looked at her in shock, "It worked!" He tried to go into his mindscape but was still unable to do so, 'Kyuubi-chan are you there? Tell me you're there.'

"**I'm here Naruto-kun don't worry. You can't call on my chakra, but the girl freed up the area of your chakra that was supposed to mix with mine. Right now your chakra is your own entirely, but you don't have any of my advantages due to my lack of presence in your system.**"

'It's better than nothing damn it, and I don't need it to get Akiza back.' Naruto pulled Hinata into a hug, "Thank you Hinata-chan. Thank you so much."

Hinata returned the hug with a serene smile, "Don't worry about it. I'm happy to help you."

Naruto pulled away from her and turned to the edge of the cliff that he walked towards, "If I don't come back then head to my house and ask about the seal I told you I finished. You'll have it and can apply it to the others, it will break the old one and reapply the new one in its place. No visible marking until death to seal off the Byakugan. You have no idea how long this seal has been worked on Hinata-chan, it's way before our time."

With that, Naruto jumped off of the cliff. When Hinata looked over the edge he was gone, "Good luck Naruto-kun. I know you can do it."

XxX

A flash of light on the ground outside of the village came before a hole opened up, revealing Naruto who jumped out and formed another transmutation to close it back up. Naruto decided to go as far as he could without flying lest someone sense him and alert others that he was gone before he could even get a good distance away.

Naruto proceeded to break into a run to get as far as he could to the northwest border to Kusa before trying to fly. Any sightings of him flying while still in Hi no Kuni would tip Konoha off before he could even get started.

"You were going to leave without me you idiot?"

That voice stopped Naruto in his tracks and made him look over to the side where Jushiro ambled out of the shadows of the forest, "I told you I was going with you to help runt. I can't let you do something so stupid on your own. If something this stupid is going to happen it's going to be a family affair, right Zabuza-tousan?"

"Shut up white-haired brat." Zabuza said as he walked out from behind Jushiro, "But as much as I hate your brother, I do like you kid. I'm with you on this one, something like this seems right up my alley if you knew my history."

Jushiro pointed his thumb at Zabuza, "Master of Silent Killing. He's definitely going to be able to get us into Iwa and keep us off of everyone's radar for this."

"What about us Jushiro-kun?" Eiko and Blank walked out next, with Eiko having a playful smirk on her face, "You haven't told him we were here yet."

Naruto's eyes widened and he backed away, "No, no, no, no, hell no. Are you kidding me? You're all going to go missing-nin for this? Big Boss go home and take them with you, you have Haku-chan to take care of, you all have lives."

Jushiro shook his head, "You were here first little brother. You ate up nine years of my life damn it, if you think I'm going to let you go off to die you must be as dumb as I look. Haku-chan will understand if I don't make it back… but we aren't going to think about that right now."

Zabuza spoke next, "Haku doesn't need me anymore. She has her own life now, and with idiot white-haired brat here all I have to do is make sure his useless ass makes it home. I owe you both anyway and this is how I'm paying you back."

Eiko smiled at Naruto, "You're like my little brother. I helped raise you stupid, I'm with Jushiro, I'm not letting you die all by yourself in the middle of nowhere. This will be easy right? We're all strong right?"

Blank rubbed his nose, "I don't have a lot going on." Eiko smacked him, "Alright, damn! But I can't let my entire team and the runt I've known for his entire life to do this without me… especially since I'm fucking one of them." Eiko hit him again, "Ow, damn! I told him the truth, I am fucking you! Ow, stop it goddamn it!"

Naruto opened his mouth to order them all home when an old voice that froze his blood over stopped him in his tracks, "They are here for you Naruto-kun. We all are." Naruto turned to see Hiruzen standing behind him in his battle gear, sans his helmet, "Myself included."

"No…" Naruto said shaking his head, still shell-shocked at what was happening, "You guys can't go. You guys all have things to stay back for. Sarutobi-jiji you were the Hokage, and what about Konohamaru?"

"I have lived a very long time Naruto. I have seen this village basically since its inception and my time is long over." The Sandaime Hokage replied to him, "And I've personally never seen myself fading into the pages of history. My life is destined to come to its conclusion on the battlefield as a warrior."

Jushiro walked behind Naruto, "You're not dying on this one old man. We've got this. And runt, you're my ultimate responsibility. I'm not going anywhere."

"Us too." Eiko and Blank replied in unison, both with different tones of spirit in their voices.

Zabuza adjusted Kubikiri Hocho on his back, "I've been getting shit for missions ever since I joined this village. I think I need this to remind people of just who Zabuza Momochi is in case people have forgotten."

Naruto's eyes were radiating total disbelief, "You guys…"

Hiruzen's face became pure business once that was complete, "Now just so you all know and you're all painfully aware if you weren't before; this is off the books. An independent operation. Tsunade and others know nothing of this. This is to cover the village's tracks as best we can. No one will be coming for us, no one will be getting us out, and Konoha will have complete plausible deniability if we fail."

Jushiro scoffed, "Yeah, I mean it's not like it'll matter if we fail. In the end the fallout won't matter to us if we do. After this is over we'll all either be dead or bonafide missing-nin when this is over anyway."

"Meh." Zabuza said, "Been there, done that."

Jushiro brought them all in, "Okay we all know realistically that chances are none of us are coming back from this, so if anyone wants to leave, now's the time." He looked around the group, from Naruto to Hiruzen to Blank to Eiko to Zabuza, "Anyone? Not feeling up to storming the place?" He got no responses, "Good. Does anyone have anything to say before we go?"

Naruto did, "You all don't have to do this for me. But nothing I say is going to make you turn around and leave." A smile came to his face, "Thank you all. When this is over for better or for worse there's no way I can ever repay any of you for this." His face turned completely serious, "We're going to be walking into a rat's nest from hell. Every shinobi we end up coming across is going to come for your blood like they were possessed because we're Konoha ninja."

"Amen." Hiruzen said genuinely.

"Right." Naruto said in correspondence, "There are so many ways this can and probably will go wrong that we could sit here all night and map out six different plans that would all have ten ways to fail each. But I don't care, I want Akiza-chan back, and I want to spit in Onoki-teme's face when I walk away with her in my arms. I want him to hate me the way he hasn't hated anyone since the Yondaime Hokage, because that means we succeeded perfectly. I want us all to come back from this, every one of us. And we can deal with the consequences when we're done."

Jushiro nodded seriously, "Alright, before we go I believe we should all pray, so bring it in." The group all did so and took a knee bowing their heads, "Dear Kami… stay out of our way."

XxX

(An Undisclosed Location – Presumably in Konohagakure)

Danzo sat at his desk with a speaker playing the recorded sounds of chaos from Tsunade's office at Naruto's abrupt departure from before, "I told you three years ago that you would have to do something for Konoha's safety one day Uzumaki. That it was your duty as a Konoha ninja to do such." A smirk came to the bandaged old man's lips, "I can think of nothing more fitting than for the greatest tool at Konoha's disposal to eradicate Konoha's greatest and most prolific enemy to ensure the safety of our village."

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**I don't have anything to say… so I won't. I'm hungry, need to go get gas, and need to get ready for tonight in that general order so I'm done here everybody.**

**Kenchi out my peepulation. Hope you all enjoyed.**


	60. Several Yards Too Far

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. The world can unilaterally suck it because of this fact.

**Chapter 60: Several Yards Too Far**

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(Konohagakure no Sato – Hokage Tower)

The sun rose, beginning to illuminate the village in a peaceful orange glow. Only a few people were aware of just how dire things currently were however as the sun rise could have been an eventual precursor to orange flames licking at the village, signifying its destruction.

She looked down at the note in her hand from her teacher that awaited her in her office that morning. It pretty much told her that he was going to be going with Naruto to Iwagakure on his endeavor to rescue Akiza. She almost crumpled the note up right then and there, but she had to read on. The note read that he had truly never done for Naruto what he felt should have been done for someone like him, that whether they knew it or not, Konoha took and took from him without him asking a single thing in return. Duty was one thing, but repeated self-sacrifice was another altogether.

No matter the personal cost for him this was completely his own choice, as he was no longer an active Konoha ninja. For all intents and purposes he was a civilian now, and considered what he was doing his way of repaying Naruto for the entire village. Not only that, but he had taken four of the village's jounin with him that all had a relationship to Naruto. Two of whom had asked for a vacation the day before, having never done so before in their seven year careers. One other whose entire presence in Konoha was because of Naruto, and the last one was his brother. And for some reason they all had an extreme enough connection to go with him. Setting aside the fact that it was a political nightmare, it was a suicide mission.

Tsunade turned around, "Jiraiya how much about Naruto's alchemy do you know?" She asked, not even letting Jiraiya attempt getting the drop on her.

"Wow hime." Jiraiya said, emerging from the shadows, "You didn't even let me try anything this time." He joked before getting serious, "Honestly, next to nothing. I don't know exactly what it can do, but it's not because he was super-secretive with it. He explained it to me as best he could because I would, 'Never be able to get it in one hundred years of studying it.'. The embarrassing thing is, he was right."

Tsunade looked at him strangely. Jiraiya was the premier user of fuuinjutsu in the village, something considered to be the most difficult shinobi art to learn, however Alchemy was not a ninja art, "You didn't get any of it?"

Jiraiya shook his head, "Oh I understood the using the elements that comprise something part, but after he explained that I was totally lost. It was like he was speaking in tongues, and he was always in his notes, going through different and new ways to use it in combat or otherwise. He said the reason that he understood so well was because he was taught early in life. That skill dominates that part of his brain. While other kids were learning to read and write well, Naruto was learning all of these formulas and the basics of Alchemy. Other than the things that you already know he can do I haven't the faintest idea the full extent of that technique."

"Can it be captured?" Tsunade asked him. Iwa wanted him dead and would undoubtedly study his corpse once they accomplished their goal. If that were the case, they didn't really want the secrets to be lost.

Jiraiya shook his head, "Even if they somehow enslaved the gaki and got him to teach classes on it, it wouldn't work. He and his brothers are the only ones that only can understand that stuff. Even if they got him to teach little kids he could teach them the wrong thing on purpose and they wouldn't know until it was too late. He could possibly kill off an entire generation of shinobi by trying to teach them Alchemy.

"Why?" Tsunade said. Alchemy seemed like something of a godsend to her. It didn't cost chakra, it was extremely difficult to learn but impossible to steal by someone who didn't already know it. She never even considered death as a possible outcome of attempting it, "How can it kill anyone if it doesn't work?"

"Everything has to be exactly precise in your formulas and calculations apparently." Jiraiya explained. He lifted his hands to mimic a scale, "He said something about when attempting a transmutation with too little, the alchemic forces would fluctuate wildly in order to compensate for the lack of material and would either take or give more than intended for it to work. Apparently it can mutilate or kill."

Tsunade shook her head, "And he's been doing this since he was six?"

Jiraiya nodded, "But now what are we going to do? Sensei is with him, and if you thought we had a small chance of stopping him before you have to realize that it's nearly impossible now. I only caught him the first time because he stopped to rest and plan for a moment too close to where I was coming back to village. If Blank wanted to he could take Eiko and travel along the communications lines along the countryside, Zabuza outran the Kiri hunter-nin for years and was never caught, and sensei… I don't think I need to say anything there."

Tsunade sat at her desk and turned it around to look at the morning glow of the village, "So you're saying that they're probably already two countries away by now." She let out a sigh, "Any ninja that I send after them at this point would just wind up caught in the crossfire and would place even more ire on the village wouldn't it? What do we do?"

"Run damage control." Jiraiya said simply, getting the slug summoning Hokage to look at him questioningly, "Sensei left you that note and nothing but that note so you could have plausible deniability. Destroy it. Tell no one of this. Not their families, not the council, no one. If the backlash comes from Iwa you can say that they acted on their own accord and that will lessen the hit. That is, if it gets loud and messy… but we all know that it probably will."

Tsunade looked at Jiraiya, "People will ask questions Jiraiya."

Jiraiya shrugged, "You're the goddamned Hokage. Since when do you answer to anyone? It might be annoying at times like this, but you might want to take that little trait from Naruto. Because you actually have the authority to back it up. You don't have to tell anyone about a fucking thing."

XxX

(With Naruto and Company)

Eiko frowned as she heard Naruto's plan of action to get Akiza out, "That's genocide Naruto-kun. What's wrong with you?" They were still moving quickly through the most dangerous part of the region. The borders of Hi no Kuni and the two nations flanking it. The other two nations held Takigakure and Kusagakure, making it a hot-bed border that no one touched. They wouldn't be disturbed travelling through this area as long as they kept out of anyone's notice, but if they were discovered, the potential for a multi-sided shitstorm raining down on them before they even got started was high.

"It's not the first choice." Naruto tried to reason, "It's the ultimate last resort. Besides, I'm not going to use the entire village for one gigantic transmutation… with Akiza-chan still in it. I'll just carefully set it up and use it as an out to keep us from being pursued. I still have to get her out before I can even think of using it."

Jushiro looked at his little brother and shook his head, "Do you have any idea how big that goddamn circle is going to be? How long do you expect to have to set this up? We're on the clock here, not just on your girlfriend's time, but we're on Konoha's clock too. They probably sent someone after us. You and I can't draw a circle like that in one day, we can't draw one like that in one week!"

"Duh Big Boss." Naruto said, "But I don't need you to do that. I'm a one man army if you forgot. And I can leave clones behind to activate the transmutation in case Onoki-teme tries calling my bluff and coming after us once we get away from the village, so I don't need you for that either."

Hiruzen decided to add into the conversation with his own years of experience, "I have been to Iwagakure Naruto-kun. I know where she will be held until they finish interrogating her. I can lead you there myself once we get inside the village."

Blank blinked once a certain point was brought to his attention by the former Hokage's comment, "Um guys? How are we even getting inside in the first place? It's not like we can just go under their defenses." Naruto and Jushiro both gave him deadpan looks, getting a sweatdrop out of the electricity manipulating jounin, "Okay, nevermind." He had forgotten that Naruto and Jushiro could dig through the ground like moles or with the equal effectiveness of an earth ninjutsu master with their Alchemy, "Heh, I don't even know what I'm so worried about here. We've got a legendary ninja with us here. The God of Shinobi, Hiruzen 'motherfucking' Sarutobi. We're going to be fine… err, Hokage-sama."

The amused old face of Hiruzen let out a short laugh at Blank's blunt statement, "It's quite alright Blank. But I am no longer the legend I once was. I am doing this for the debt that I myself owe Naruto-kun for all he has done for the village. I am volunteering as your squad leader, but treat me as you would any other shinobi in our situation."

Naruto let out a chuckle, "I might finally get to see the old man in action. So awesome." Eiko glared at him lightly, "Uh, I mean, I hope we don't end up fighting so that you have to show how badass you are Hokage-jiji."

"I'm not the Hokage any longer Naruto-kun." Hiruzen insisted.

Naruto nodded in understanding, "Okay Sarutobi-jiji."

Zabuza was the next to speak on the matter of their mission, "So do you have a gameplan or what? What exactly are our objectives and mission parameters? Is there a contingency plan? Is there anyone we need to be aware of having to confront? Come on brats, we need to know this stuff if we're going to be heading into a hidden village." Well, the man did attempt an assassination on the Mizukage over ten years ago so he had to know what he was talking about on the matter. But no one expected the two directors of this little suicide black op to have an actual plan.

Jushiro looked at Zabuza and everyone else, "Alright, listen up you crotch-stains. We didn't plan for _any_ of you to come with us. The runt was supposed to make his way to Tsuchi no Kuni and I was supposed to leave on my own and meet him there. But then he got himself busted by Jiraiya so we had to postpone." Naruto glared at Jushiro and growled at the mention of Jiraiya's name, "Calm down little brother."

Naruto took a deep breath and did as directed, "Okay, the plan. I will dig a hole to a secluded spot within Iwa and release enough Kage Bunshin under Henge to scout out their defensive patterns, resealing the hole behind them and leaving the village. It's good because even if they come across as suspicious, they can just dispel out of sight and keep from getting us caught. They will also have the secondary objective of setting up our contingency plan; what we're going to use to get out in one piece if we end up getting caught."

"Next." Jushiro said, picking up where Naruto left off, "Once enough information has been gathered about the village, which shouldn't take long with the runt's clones running amok, we will be going in and setting up remote diversions that we can activate once Naruto snatches up Akiza to cover his escape. To set them off we'll actually have to be inside of the village ourselves, so get ready for that, we're going to be right in the rat's nest when it all starts going down. If the kid is as stealthy as I think he is we won't need to set any off, but we all know our collective luck is not that good."

"Amen white-haired brat." Zabuza remarked, still listening intently.

Said white-haired brat continued explaining the plan, "Once Naruto starts making tracks with Akiza in tow we'll begin meeting and joining up with each other and falling back to the outskirts of the village. Chances are that the elites are going to be all on our asses, but we'll be ready for that when it happens eventually. The heat should be somewhat lessened significantly by Naruto and his never ending horde of Kage Bunshin. Meanwhile, because I don't really use much chakra when I fight, I will have a Kage Bunshin of my own outside of the village waiting for the signal to pull the trigger on the one-shot village killer… if it comes to that."

"Hopefully it won't." Hiruzen said solemnly. He really wasn't sure what Naruto and Jushiro had planned, but they both sounded like they were absolutely sure that what they had prepared would undoubtedly be their ace in the hole, "I would rather not be responsible for wiping out a village in one attack."

"Well put it this way Sarutobi-jiji." Naruto said, "Even if we do, who's going to do anything about it? Who would really be that confident in trying to take Konoha on once they know that me and Big Boss can wipe them off of the face of the planet. And yes, that's a very dark thought-."

Jushiro picked up after his brother, "-But that's why this work is called the devil's science. Me and the brat are human weapons, tied to the will of combat and destruction. More so than any shinobi… and Naruto is more than anyone else because he isn't just a shinobi, he isn't just an Alchemist like me, he's also a jinchuuriki. Speaking of which, how are you on chakra?"

Naruto frowned, "I'm personally all full up. But on the other hand I can't access any of Kyuubi-chan's at all. That's okay, if I do this right I won't need her. So back to the plan. Once we get away we have a place to go to in the meantime to wait for all of the fallout." He grinned sheepishly, "As of right now, they don't know that we're going to be going there… but they shouldn't turn us away right?"

Jushiro smirked at Naruto, "Well if it comes to that point we'll just have to lop off your other arm so we can pay them to install another auto-mail. That way we can say we have a legit reason for being there."

Naruto shot a glare at Jushiro, "No way in hell. Why don't we cut off your arm instead? Aren't brothers supposed to be able to share experiences like that? Well this is an experience ten years in the making."

Jushiro held his arms to his chest defensively, "I need my _real_ arms thank you very much. We can't all transmutate without a circle like you. My shortcuts need my actual arms to work." He then continued speaking on the most important matter at hand, "But that's just a rough outline of what we're to do. We can fine tune it and what have you when we actually get there and start getting information."

Zabuza grumbled, but realized that they didn't have the luxury he had of planning a coup in their own village. This was a foreign operation that they were on the clock to pull off with no support from the village of their allegiance and no one coming to bail them out in case things went south. Honestly it wasn't any better than his plan… all he really did was attack the Mizukage alongside Haku and the Demon Brothers while he and the brothers were debriefing from a mission. At least this was an actual plan.

Naruto's eyes hardened, "We have to hurry, but we do have time. If they're really dedicated to getting information, Akiza-chan isn't going to give them anything. The only thing she really knows is stuff about me, and if they're actually interested in that she would never tell them anything."

XxX

(Iwagakure no Sato – ANBU HQ)

Inside of Akiza's cell she was still chained to the wall with her arms outstretched only instead of the emotionless face she had been keeping to save face it was now twisted in agony, soft whimpers escaping every now and then. A series of footsteps walked towards the cell revealing themselves to be Kurotsuchi, flanked by two ANBU, "If you want the pain to stop Akiza all you have to do is answer our questions. They can remove the parasite that you have eating away at your nerves just like that."

Akiza's tear filled eyes panned up to Kurotsuchi to reveal that the whites of her eyes had darkened somewhat. Not pitch black like her full berserker mode, her green eyes were still visible, just that her whites were darker, but it was still very unnerving, "I am going to kill every last one of you when I get out of here. Every. Last. One. You included, _old friend_." She hissed out lowly before biting back a shout of pain.

Kurotsuchi shook her head, "Where is the parasite centralized right now Akiza? Is it still just in your arms?" She looked at the outstretched limbs to see them twitching, the fingers gripping tightly in resistance, "Yeah it is. So how is it feeling right now? I can guess, you probably want to chew your arms off like a trapped coyote right now." She directed the ANBU to open the cell so that she could enter,

"That's why we chained you up like that." She said, gesturing to Akiza's outstretched arms, "We've actually had people do that to themselves after a certain point to stop the pain. So just tell us… what is the secret behind Alchemy? Your little boyfriend isn't the only person that we've heard of that uses it. He apparently has a loudmouth brother that's gotten rather famous with his own brand of Alchemy. Apparently they don't fight anything alike, so this Alchemy isn't one-dimensional. So tell us what you know about it." Akiza was silent for a moment before speaking in a whisper, prompting Kurotsuchi to lean in to hear her, "What was that Akiza-chan?"

"You're going to get hurt…" She mumbled before trying to lunge forward to bite at Kurotsuchi's throat. She missed, getting Kurotsuchi to at least back away from her, but the smirk on the young woman's face was progressively pissing her off.

"You really should get more sleep Akiza." Kurotsuchi taunted, "Your eyes aren't looking so good."

Akiza let out a pained laugh, "Bitch I couldn't sleep even if you didn't have this stupid parasite inside of me. I'm too far away from Fullmetal to sleep peacefully. For some reason his presence dulls the effect of Sekki Kiritateru's curse. But now I'm suffering from withdrawal… that's why my eyes look like this. The curse hurts far more than anything your pathetic ANBU consider 'humane' torture. I barely feel your little bug."

Kurotsuchi frowned, "Well that's good to know Akiza." She pulled out a pair of syringes as the Anbu outside of the cell entered and held Akiza's legs, "So you're saying that having the parasites in your legs won't hurt you either?" Akiza, too weak to struggle, ended up getting the injections into her legs, before scream of pain tore from her throat, "Well I guess you aren't going to tell us anything. But don't worry. Tsuchikage-sama is getting tired of waiting on something from you and just wants your bond with your weapon broken so that he can re-issue it. You only have to deal with a few more days of this."

Akiza yelled at Kurotsuchi through her curses and screams, "Fullmetal is going to turn this godforsaken mud pit into a lifeless wasteland! And whether I'm alive or not I'm going to be laughing at you all the entire time, either from his arms or in hell!"

"Blah, blah whatever." Kurotsuchi said, "He must have really been a killer in the sack to brainwash you into think that he would walk into something like this just for you. He had to be a glorified deity in bed, because you think he actually has the ability to do it. Status quo says he'll just cry for you, swear his vengeance and try to kill any Iwa ninja he comes across for the rest of his miserable life. Just like anyone else that lost someone to a foreign village."

Akiza didn't anything, 'Great… No matter how much this hurts I can't black out… If I black out then I'll just get blasted with the voices that the stupid naginata killed all throughout its existence and I'll lose my mind. But as long as I stay awake I'll just feel these stupid bugs chewing on my nerves like a rawhide.' She glared hatefully at the ANBU and Kurotsuchi, tears of pain going down her cheeks, "Keep thinking that, I'll keep thinking what I _know _is going to happen."

Shaking her head in disappointment, Kurotsuchi turned away from Akiza before leaving the cell again, "No matter what, you're going to die Akiza. You might as well tell us what we need to know so that at least you can spend your last few days before the extraction process and the execution in relative peace and comfort."

"What are you talking about?" Akiza said as the cell closed, isolating her from the rest of the world once more with Kurotsuchi walking away, "This is great! I've got your little bugs massaging my nerves! I've got this glorified yoga stretch going on for three days strong at this point! I'm seeing old acquaintances! And I'm grateful that you're keeping me up, this is fun! It's like a big old sleepover!"

She heard the door to the prisoner facility close with a resounding thud, leaving her alone with her own insomnia and pain, 'I haven't felt like this in my entire life. I haven't felt this alone since I first started travelling with Fullmetal. Heh, the idiots think I know anything about Alchemy. They don't realize how complicated that entire process is. Even if I explained what I knew they wouldn't understand a thing, not that I would ever do anything to betray Fullmetal anyway.'

"_-I know the loneliness of not having anyone. And I know the feeling of trying to find your purpose for life. I won't let anyone close to me feel that way ever again if I can help it, and if you stay with me I will keep you safe. You're not unwanted, and I'll show you that myself."_

'It's not your fault this happened Fullmetal, you did always keep me safe. This only happened when I left your side. You've given me everything. I've never asked you for anything, but you gave me absolutely everything freely. You let me know I was wanted, and you did give me a purpose.' Akiza shut her eyes amid the pain racking her body, 'I love you Fullmetal. I just wish I could see you again to tell you that myself.'

XxX

(With Naruto and Company – Two Days Later – 15 Miles Outside of Iwagakure)

Naruto and Jushiro had carved out a makeshift underground facility for the team to stay in until it was time for the mission to begin. Naruto sat on the floor of the man-made cavern, going over his notes, more specifically a forbidden section that Jushiro had instructed him to never look at.

"I thought this was one of the things I told you to never look at."

Naruto turned around to see Jushiro looking over his shoulder with a stern face. He opened his mouth to defend himself when Jushiro cut him off, "It's okay. For what we have planned on this asinine mission of ours it's going to be necessary. But I've got to ask you… If we did do this, and you did waste this village in one night… could you live with yourself?"

Naruto put his notes together neatly and stood up, dusting his pants off, "I don't know Big Boss. What about you? Even though it's my plan in the end its going to be you pulling the trigger."

Jushiro put a hand on Naruto's head, "I've told you runt. I could care less about myself at this point. I'm not going to let you lose the only person that has ever loved you the way I lost mine, except we have one difference, I found others. You, Haku-chan. If you lose Akiza I don't know where you would turn to. So I'm willing to kill my own inhibitions and do this for you. Besides, I taught you everything we used to know when we were kids. It's only right that the master take responsibility for this."

Naruto pulled Jushiro's hand off his head with a smile before he got a look at something new on Jushiro's palm, "Big Boss what is this? Did you just put this on?"

Jushiro pulled his hand away from Naruto's grip and showed him both of his palms. They both had tattoos of a circle with a triangle inside, in addition to an alchemic symbol inscribed inside of the triangles, "Nope, I did these while you were gone on your little trip. You'll have to wait to see what they do. You aren't the only one that has shortcuts."

Naruto squinted in the low light and looked at the marks, "What do they do?" He asked.

Jushiro lowered his hands and walked away, "Bad stuff… Now stop looking at the circle you're supposed to draw. You already know how to make it. Obsessing over it would just make you second guess what you're willing to do to get Akiza back."

Naruto nodded with an uncharacteristic frown on his face, "It's supposed to be a worst-case scenario situation. We shouldn't have to use it. My clones are pretty far along in drawing it too."

Jushiro blinked, "Really? But how are they drawing it so fast? It has to go and encompass the entire village or else it won't work."

"Yeah…" Naruto said, "But I don't have to draw the circle on the surface for it to work." He pointed to a tunnel against the back wall, "This is the activation point once it comes time to start. My clones are carving a perfect replica of the circle we need underground. And they can't sense my clones, because they're not using chakra."

Jushiro looked at the tunnel in awe, "You do know that if this works we'll have created the greatest battle plan in history right? We'll be the guys that walked into and out of the heart of one of the five most powerful ninja villages and got away with it. Hell, if it all blows up in our faces and we have to use the transmutation circle we'll have taken down an entire village alone. If that doesn't make us famous as hell I don't know what will."

Naruto grinned, "I'm already S-rank Big Boss. I don't know how much more famous I want to be. I have enough enemies and enough of a bounty on my head."

"Well compared to you my bounty is chump change!" Jushiro said offended at the fact, "Do I really not inspire that much intimidation in the shinobi world? I thought I was awesome! My bounty barely cracks 5 million, while you on the other hand max out at 125 million! Now most of it is an exaggeration based on potential and overblown hearsay, but it's potential that can be fulfilled, and rumors that have a bit of truth to them, and they don't even know that. I can do it too! I'm just as dangerous as you!"

"Onoki-teme and Orochi-teme don't think so." Naruto quipped lightly at his older brother, "What does that tell you?"

Jushiro glared down the tunnel towards Iwa, "That I need to bust some ass on this mission so I get taken seriously. Where the fuck are Blank and Eiko?"

"Calm down Jushiro-kun." Hiruzen entered the hideout alone as he addressed the white-haired young man, "Your two teammates are simply carrying out some reconnaissance of their own. We can't all just head in with nothing but Naruto-kun's clones point of view as a reference point." He then looked at the youngest member of the ragtag squad, "You _do_ know where she's being held right?"

"Absolutely." Naruto said, "I thought about scrapping this plan and trying to dig in directly under the HQ where she is and get her back out through that tunnel, but I don't know what the tower material is made of, so I might end up hurting myself or bringing the entire place down trying to dig a little hole. I've still got to go in through the front."

"Nothing worth doing is ever easy Naruto-kun." Hiruzen said reassuringly, "I trust your backup plan is going well enough."

At that moment, one of Naruto's clones emerged from the tunnel, "Boss it's amazing down there, you've got to see it. We've been working our asses off and I stopped to look at it when we finished. It's so awesome in there. Here, check it out." The clone then suddenly burst.

Naruto stood for a moment before smirking, "Oh this is so money… Alright, we're working this one out right on schedule." Naruto said to himself, "I think I'm going to go in there and check it out myself."

Naruto walked inside the tunnel that his clones had dug, followed by Hiruzen and Jushiro, who were both marveling at the quality of Naruto's clones work. There was plenty of space, the tunnels were even on all sides… it was top-notch work. Jushiro could only imagine what it would look like if the circle was exposed. It would have been a masterpiece, "This is why we never wanted to give you the secrets of Alchemy old man." Jushiro said to Hiruzen, who was clearly marveling at what a fifteen year old was capable of with Alchemy on his side, "If we had given this to you, how would you have used it?"

Hiruzen's eyes widened when he was asked that question. When he first requested Jushiro to allow Konoha to use the art of Alchemy he was going to try and teach it to his elites, his jounin. Now he realized how terrible an idea that would have been. If he had another Orochimaru on his hands and someone had left Konoha with a grievance and skills with Alchemy they could have done this to Konoha. A bomb that would lie under the village, waiting to be triggered by anyone with an appetite for destruction.

Jushiro shook his head as he saw the look on the old man's face, "Now I'm not saying that Naruto and I are necessarily the right hands, but when you think about it, there are far worse people that could know how to do this. We're only using it to get Naruto's Akiza back. We would never have even considered this otherwise. We're not going to trigger it unless everything goes to shit."

Hiruzen's eyes snapped up to Jushiro, "So when you told me you felt like destroying Konoha for what they did to your brother, you actually could have done it?"

Jushiro frowned at the former Hokage, "No. Not back then. I couldn't dig like this back then. Not like I can now." Jushiro flicked the ring on his right hand and turned it into his spiked cestus, "The runt is in a whole league of his own, a master of manipulating his surroundings perfectly. But even if I wanted to back when I was truly angry at Konoha I could never do anything to it even if I did have the ability to at the time."

Hiruzen nodded and looked forward at Naruto who was leading them through the tunnels, "Because of Naruto-kun. He wouldn't have wanted you to do it."

Jushiro ran a hand through his hair, "You have no idea how much you owe that kid. Konoha will just never know."

"A few of us do Jushiro-kun." Hiruzen said to the young man, "That's why I'm here. That's why _we're_ here." They both stopped speaking and came to a halt when Naruto stopped moving and placed his hand on the ceiling of the tunnel. He had led them all the way through the tunnel, through so many turns and straightaways and stopped in that specific spot. There was only one reason he could have wanted to stop there.

"She's right here." Naruto said to the others quietly, as if he were talking to himself, "She's right here, and I can't just punch my way through and get her."

Jushiro placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder and directed him back towards the way they came, "It's alright Naruto. It's just a matter of going to get her now. Things are almost ready." Naruto looked at his older brother and began walking back to their base.

XxX

(Two Days Later – Iwagakure no Sato – ANBU HQ)

Akiza weakly lifted her head as the sound of her cell door opening reached her ears. A weak smirk came to her face at seeing who it was, "Tsuchikage-sama… it's good to see you again. What can I do for you?"

Onoki was at eye level with the girl who was still chained to the wall and sitting against the wall, "Seeing as how you're still useless as you don't even have any decent information on Konoha, we only have one use for you. All we need is for you to cough up that priceless weapon of yours and then we can end your life."

Akiza let out a laugh, "And how do you plan on doing that? Do you really think I'm going to summon Sekki Kiritateru here just because you want me to? I'm not going to curse some other poor fool who thinks that carrying that miserable stick is some kind of honor for this village. Are you even going to tell them about the curse before you get them to bond with it, or are you going to let them figure it out on their own like you did with me?"

Onoki smirked right back at her, "Well look at how you handled it? You did just fine for being our weakest jounin."

"No such thing as a weak jounin…" Akiza mumbled, "Yeah, I'm weak and I beat your granddaughter's ass. The only reason I'm here is because Han saved her ass and caught me himself." Her head snapped to the side abruptly as a stinging red mark appeared on her face, "Didn't hurt. But I can see that you still don't see Han as anything more than a demon… stupid." Her head snapped to the side other side with another red mark on her cheek, "You all really like slapping me don't you?"

Onoki shook out the hand he used to hit her and sneered down at her, "We don't need you to summon your weapon. We have a way to extract your bond with the blade. Once we do that, the weapon will appear right at your feet, and we'll take it to give to another more deserving shinobi to train with after we execute you publicly. An end and a new beginning. Fitting, isn't it?"

The ANBU guards moved to unchain her, "Like something out of a goddamn story book…" Akiza said sarcastically. She then saw a green gleam in the low light around Onoki's neck, "Fullmetal's necklace…"

Onoki saw that she had noticed the Shodaime Hokage's crystal, "Oh this? Yes, thank you for bringing this. Until I find a buyer for this priceless little thing it's quite a fine trophy in the meantime. What a victory."

She weakly tried to struggle as she was dragged to her feet and pulled out of the cell by the two guards, "That doesn't belong to you! Don't you have any respect or honor? Fullmetal gave that to me, he trusted me with it!"

Onoki chuckled as Akiza was dragged away by the guards, "Well then he trusted in the wrong person. You weren't strong enough to be trusted to keep something like this. But if he was a fool enough to give this to you for safekeeping then he deserved to have this taken from him obviously. Now stop struggling. You couldn't fight off a baby kitten as you are right now. We never even took the parasites out of you, you're in crippling pain."

"Fullmetal wouldn't have quit!" Akiza snapped back at him, "And I don't care if my arms and legs are useless you fucking gnome! You're short enough that even on the ground I'm still at eye level with you, I'll bite your throat out! This isn't over!" The doors to the prisoner wing slammed shut behind her and the guards moving her.

"Oh yes it is my dear." Onoki said, holding the necklace in his hand as he slowly followed behind at a reserved, leisurely pace, "It is indeed 'over' as you say."

XxX

(Outside of Iwagakure)

Naruto and the others stood atop one of the rocky mountain ranges surrounding the village, looking down on it. Naruto's eyes firmly locked on the largest most prominent building in the village. Jushiro moved at his side, "Are you ready runt?"

Naruto nodded wordlessly and formed his Kage Bunshin seal, making three copies. They all immediately jumped into the air and flew off into the sky on their clouds, vanishing from sight above the village. He noticed the others looking at him strangely, forcing him to elaborate, "Air support."

Jushiro nodded, "Alright, you all know what to do. Positions. And stay alive damn it…" Jushiro said before the others all broke off, Zabuza staying with him. Blank and Eiko going off on their own, and Naruto and Hiruzen going their own way.

Zabuza sighed and watched as his son-in-law sat down in a lotus position, overlooking the village, "So now we wait, eh white-haired brat?"

Jushiro nodded, "Now we wait."

XxX

(With Naruto and Hiruzen)

It didn't take long for the God of Shinobi and the pupil of Jiraiya to sneak their way to a point just outside of where Akiza was being held where they both lurked in the shadows. Hiruzen looked over at Naruto, "Are you fully prepared for this Naruto-kun?"

Naruto nodded grimly, "I've been ready for a week Sarutobi-jiji. Are you ready?"

Hiruzen smiled humorlessly, "Who do you think you're talking to Naruto-kun? How do you think I got famous in the first place? I've lived this kind of thing for years."

That brought a grin out of Naruto, "You sure you still know how to do all of this in your advanced age? You might have forgotten how to do all of this, no matter how good you used to be."

Hiruzen chuckled and kept his eyes on their objective building, "Nevermind that. Old soldiers never die Naruto-kun, and we never lose our touch."

XxX

(With Blank and Eiko)

Inside of a small building sitting by a narrow waterfall, Eiko used her specialized weapon to cut down another of the shinobi guards she had come into conflict with. One Iwa shinobi drew a kunai and tried sneaking up on her before a hand gripped around his throat tightly. The hand started generating electricity, shocking the man to death before dropping him. Blank moved from the shadows, smirking at Eiko, "Having trouble there baby?"

Eiko rolled her eyes, "I beat all of them right off of the bat except the last two Blank-kun. Now come on, we need to get to your spot to prepare the signal."

Blank scratched his scalp and yawned, "Yeah, yeah whatever, I'm the sabotage specialist, blah, blah, blah." The two walked into another room and then outside where a series of massive power generators sat. All of the electricity of Iwagakure was run through this area, "This is really going to piss off a lot of people when we do this, you know that right?"

Eiko pouted at him for saying something so stupid, "That's the general idea. We're supposed to piss everyone off and get their attention so that Naruto-kun can get in and do his thing."

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you…" Blank said, cracking his knuckles before he placed his hands right on one of the generators, ignoring the electricity surging off of the high-voltage machinery, "Raiton: Denshi Kyuushuu (Lightning Release: Electric Absorption)!" Blank's body began to glow blue as he started sucking up all of the electricity from the generator, "Eiko, with that glorified lightning rod on your back, you may want to back off quite a bit… as in get outside… now." Lightning began dangerously snapping away from Blank's body

"You can't hold all of that electricity though! It will destroy your body in a matter of minutes!" Eiko yelled at Blank as she got away from the building.

"I know, these are my clan techniques after all! But I'm not keeping it! I'm going to use it!" He shouted back to her as the light from inside grew more and more intense, sounds of electricity crackling running rampant.

Eiko placed her hands on her hips, "Use it? What in Kami's name are you going to use it for immediately?"

Blank was silent for a second before answering, a cheeky tone evident in his response, "Nogami Clan Hijutsu sweetheart!"

XxX

(With Jushiro and Zabuza)

Zabuza noticed the lights of the village flickering, "It's almost time to make your move kid. I've got your back."

"I know Zabuza and thanks for coming all this way for me and the runt. I really appreciate it." Jushiro said, still sitting serenely with his eyes closed, "I'm ready… just trying to get my mind right."

"Is this going to be that hard on you?" Zabuza asked. He had never really seen Jushiro be serious about something before.

The lights flickered out once and for all, signifying that it was time to officially start, "I'm going to make myself sick after I do this." He said, standing up, "You know there's a really good reason I'm not famous, even though I went on that mission to bring down one of Orochimaru's bases in Hi no Kuni with my squad. The one that ended up with that bitch Guren and her team killing my team's sensei when he tried to let us escape."

"I remember that." Zabuza said, "You really took that man's death hard. Haku had to stay with you for two weeks."

Jushiro shook his head, "It wasn't just his death, it was what I did after he died to finish them all off." He reached into his vest, "When I really found out what Big Fucking Transmutation was supposed to be for." He pulled out a small blood red stone, "This."

Zabuza looked at him strangely, "Okay, I don't understand too much about Alchemy, but what is that supposed to do?"

Jushiro placed the stone inside of a groove in his pendant around his neck, "This is the ultimate alchemic amplifier. With this, you can't even begin to understand what I can do. But you will. Two years ago after I found out what this was and how I made it I swore I would never use it… I guess I'm just an inglorious bastard." He clapped his hands together, joining his tattoos on his palms together, "Because today Zabuza, we are in the business of killing Iwa-ninja… and let me tell you tou-san… Business is booming!"

Jushiro placed his hands on the ground as the stone around his neck glowed, "This is Red Lotus Alchemy!" A line of explosions ripped their way from in front of Jushiro down the face of the mountain and began to branch off once it hit the ground, tearing through Iwagakure in a pattern, taking out tons of property with one move. Zabuza looked at the damage caused by Jushiro's one attack in abject astonishment. Jushiro turned to Zabuza and gestured towards the stone that was still glowing red, "And this is the Philosopher's Stone."

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**Chapter complete. I would just like to take this time to thank you all for making this my third 1000+ review story. It's been a year since I first put this story out, and I hope it's been a hell of a ride thus far. Hopefully when I bring this bad boy to its final close it will go down as one of your favorite stories, but until then enjoy yourselves, because we ain't going anywhere for a good long while!**

**Next chapter it is officially on, but you already knew that. **

**Later. Kenchi out.**


	61. The Longest Night

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. However in my own mind… THE WORLD IS MINE! THE WORLD IS MINE! WAHAHAHAHAHA! *coughs and sputters* Sorry about that. Please enjoy.

**Chapter 61: The Longest Night**

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People ran through the streets of Iwagakure in panic as a trail of explosions ripped through the village. No one could estimate how many casualties had been wrought with the series of attacks that had been launched. No one knew what was happening, all that anyone knew was that the attack originated from one of the mountain ranges surrounding the village. The quicker to respond Iwa ninja that realized this began making their way in that direction before another large trail of explosions erupted, coming right for them.

They barely knew what hit them and by then there was nothing they could do about it.

"What the hell is going on?" One of the ninja that had been watching the quick to unfold carnage asked, "Who's attacking us?"

"What are we supposed to do?" One of the older ninja who had survived the last war said. Flashbacks to another time when Iwa was helpless while they were being slaughtered by a blonde moving faster than anyone could keep pace with flickering through his head, "Th-This is just like with the Kiiroi Senkou! We can't-!"

The man was slapped by a large brawny shinobi with hair in a dark ponytail of sorts. He had the standard Iwagakure jounin uniform and hitae-ate and a stern look on his face, "This is _nothing_ like when Namikaze was our enemy. This is manageable. We know where the attacks are coming from, we simply have to go stop them before we lose too many more."

"Kitsuchi-senpai!" The men around him cried as they rallied to the seeming leader of the group.

He looked at the summit of the mountain range of origin where the savage attacks of mass destruction were still raining down upon the village, "And we need to go now. Before there's no village left to defend." Amid a chorus of loud agreeing cries from the inspired Iwa defenders, they all took off trying to work their way to the top of the mountain range.

XxX

(With Naruto and Hiruzen)

Naruto and the former Sandaime Hokage stayed in the shadows as the Iwa shinobi scrambled about to assess their threat, minus the use of electricity or decent ranged communication. Hiruzen filtered out the sounds of panic and simply waited for their opportunity to infiltrate the ANBU HQ alongside his young partner who had a very stone-faced visage.

The sounds of the attack had been expected by Naruto, who was assured by Jushiro that his diversion would be loud, violent, and destructive. Jushiro assured him that a little red stone he kept on his person would ensure that he would break Iwa's focus if not their will to fight altogether. Naruto then cringed as a trail of explosions rushed past him and Hiruzen, making Naruto grateful that he told Jushiro where they would be holding up until there was an opening to get Akiza and that Jushiro knew how to aim with that Red Lotus Alchemy of his.

Bastard. Naruto took all of that time learning how to fly and making alchemic shortcuts he thought would be cool and useful and Jushiro could blow up an entire village with a little red stone and the palms of his hands. It really pissed him off. Oh well, Naruto could set a grown man on fire with a snap of his fingers, he didn't have the room to complain.

"Naruto." Hiruzen said, his eyes locked on the building they were meant to head into, "It's time."

Naruto nodded and stood up, "We have to do this the hard way. I still don't know what the building is made of so I can't make an entrance. We have to go in and find Akiza-chan ourselves. You're good at fighting in close right Sarutobi-jiji?"

The old man nodded with a smile, "I'm the most powerful shinobi Konoha has ever produced from my era Naruto-kun. I could show you a little something about close-range combat hand-to-hand." He flicked Naruto's auto-mail arm hearing the clink of the metal, "Even with your little prosthetic helper."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "I'm a shinobi and an alchemist… both of them glorified human weapons. Why shouldn't my body parts reflect that?" He motioned for Hiruzen to get moving, "Let's do this, or maybe you would like to lead?"

Hiruzen held up his hands defensively as more of the widespread panic being caused by Jushiro's alchemic assault rang out in the village, "Like I said Naruto-kun, I'm here as your support. This is your mission."

"Right. Follow me then." Naruto said as he and Hiruzen rushed at the target building. As they entered they found two guard ANBU on their tail as they broke down the first hallway. Naruto glared behind him and clapped his hands to begin a transmutation, "We don't have time for this!" He turned abruptly just as they were on his heels and slammed his palms on their faces, completing the transmutation and, for a lack of better term, blew their brains out the back of their heads.

Not even giving himself time to dwell on the fact that he had just killed two ANBU with only one attack, Naruto turned back down the hall and continued to run alongside Hiruzen. He hated killing his opponents like that, it was so unclean, but he had to find Akiza, and anyone that got in his way… well he was just going to have to get them right out of the way.

He didn't have time to feel bad about all of the people that were going to die today. Equivalent exchange lessons be damned. He knew, and Jushiro knew that one life was not equivalent to another, and it didn't matter how many people he had to go through to get to Akiza, if they kept getting in his way the number would never be high enough to equal her life. And all of the Iwagakure shinobi he had to run through like a hot knife through butter could only blame one person for all of this. Ryotenbin no Onoki, the Sandaime Tsuchikage couldn't leave well enough alone. And now he had to do what he had to in order to get his sweetheart back.

All for a stupid legendary weapon that had existed as a treasure from the time of the Rikudou Sennin, and just to spite him. Well Naruto was going to give him a reason to spite him after today, after this the old geezer would have a reason to hate him… if the old fart survived. If Naruto let him survive.

Naruto watched as Hiruzen broke off to the side of them down a hallway and quickly dispatched another guard with pure hand-to-hand combat before the victim could even get their hand to their katana to draw as a weapon. Keeping his hand to prevent the man from drawing his weapon, Hiruzen elbowed him in the throat three times and let him slump to the ground dead.

'Of course he finished that quickly, he wasn't Hokage for nothing.' Naruto thought to himself as they continued looking, 'How are we going to find her? I don't think she'll necessarily be easy to find, and I don't think we're going to be able to get the information from any of these guys in here.' He thought to himself as he blocked a sword strike with his auto-mail arm.

"Fullmetal Alchemist!" The enemy yelled in realization at seeing Naruto's arm and the rest of his physical profile. Naruto frowned and formed a Rasengan in his left hand and slammed it into his opponent's torso, carving into his body and silencing him with a death rattle as his body bounced forcefully off of the wall.

Getting sick of getting nowhere, Naruto formed a mess of Kage Bunshin and sent them throughout the base to search. While some were defeated by roaming Iwa ninja, enough remained that Naruto was able to get the layout of the base and figure something, "Damn it Sarutobi-jiji she isn't here!" Naruto yelled, punching a nearby wall out of blind anger, however still being cut off from Kyuubi, he didn't feel the normal rush of her power flowing through him from it, thus he calmed himself down.

The former Hokage looked at the cracks made in the wall by Naruto's one punch, "It's okay Naruto-kun, we just need to keep looking. There is still one other place she could be." Naruto looked at him questioningly as the old man's face took on a distasteful look, "The Tsuchikage Tower could be where she is."

Naruto had to fight back a gulp of fear, however what little bit he felt quickly diminished. He had already fought toe-to-toe with a reigning kage, and this time he had help in the form of a man he trusted instead of just an ally of convenience, "Then let's go let ourselves in. Lead the way jiji."

XxX

(With Blank and Eiko)

"Blank-kun…" Eiko said warily as she kept a tight grip on her weapon, "Are you done sucking down all of that electricity yet? I think I need your help out here." She began slowly backing up towards the entrance of the power station that Blank had sabotaged, "You're not getting in there without a fight."

A dozen Iwagakure shinobi were bearing down on her with their kunai drawn and aimed. As they all let them loose, Blank appeared in front of Eiko in a lighning elemental Shunshin and held his hands out in front of him, "Raiton: Kyokusei no Kabe (Lightning Release: Polarity Wall)!" A translucent blue circle of electricity appeared in front of himself and Eiko, blocking the offending metal projectiles that got caught in the circle and sending them back, forcing the enemy to dodge, "Yeah… I'm all charged up sweetie." He said, turning back to her and flashing her a grin with blue-white eyes that had lost their features, "Now it's time to waste this excess crud before I explode."

"You do that." Eiko said warmly as she sat back and watched Blank prepare his next attack.

His body was flickering off spontaneous specks of electricity when he clapped his hands together, making a complete circuit with his body before throwing his arms out at the Iwa ninja surrounding them, "Kaminari o Mage (Arc Lightning)!" Two bolts of lightning flew from his hands and picked off two of the slower Iwa ninja that were unable to dodge, however when it hit those enemies it branched off and hit the others.

Eiko flinched as the sounds of electricity crackling from her lover's fingers hit the enemy. She could even see parts of them begin to turn black from the damage. The medic in her took over, "Blank-kun turn the jutsu off. I'm beginning to smell them cook."

Blank looked back at her and smiled apologetically as he let the jutsu drop, the fried Iwagakure ninja force falling to the ground, "Sorry Eiko-chan, I've got a lot of energy to burn in thirty minutes. I need some kind of target."

She pointed to the side where another squad of Iwa ninja were heading towards them through a mountain pass, twenty of them in all, "What rank?"

"Genin and maybe one jounin." Blank answered for her, "Iwagakure believes in brute forcing problems by throwing manpower at it. I've got the vast majority of them, do you have my back medic-babe?"

Eiko shrugged and spun her swallow-blade sword around in her hands, "If they get this close to me I'll handle them no problem."

Blank nodded and began drudging up mass quantities of electricity to a dangerous amount as it surrounded his body, intimidating the Iwa ninja who had been rushing them confidently until they saw the Konoha jounin simply radiate destructive power. The man who was presumably the leader jumped in front of his squad, "Do not be afraid of this man! He's just one shinobi. I'll provide cover!" He made a few hand-seals and slammed his hands on the ground, forcing a large rock wall to form in front of them all, "Hold them here until reinforcements arrive!"

Blank frowned and fired at the wall with his lightning bolt attacks that wound up penetrating the wall, but the effect was too weak for him to keep trying that tactic, "Fine." Blank began crackling with electricity and shot a rather large bolt into the sky before stomping his foot, "Time to call it down! Fukushuu no Arashi (Storm of Vengeance)!" Three large bolts of lightning struck down behind the enemy defensive wall and as the shouts of the outmatched Iwa ninja rang out, Blank directed the storm with his hands, making sure he mopped all of the forces with his strikes.

He let go of the jutsu and ran up the wall before jumping off of the top of it, using the incredible amount of energy flowing through his body to leap higher, high enough to see another group of advancing ninja making their way to the substation he had sabotaged by way of another mountain pass. Blank honed in on it and began descending, his body flickering with unstable electricity, "Kaminari Shitaoshi (Thunder Drop)!" Blank hit the ground in the middle of the advancing troops hard enough the crack the rocky earth, but as he hit the ground all of the built up electricity in his body quickly found its exit as it all swelled out of him and annihilated the hapless footsoldiers.

Amid the destruction, Blank stood up and took a deep breath, drawing all of the static in the air back into his body as useable electricity, "Damn it! I did that to get rid of energy and I just sucked it all back up. Now I have 25 minutes to get rid of it all or I'm screwed. My own Raiton Gaitou (Lightning Cloak) is going to kill me if I don't."

Eiko caught up with him, having run after him after he left to finish off the other advancing enemy ninja, "So then attack the village itself with your lightning bolt from the sky." She pointed over to the main part of the village where Jushiro's constant attacks were wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting Iwa populace, "Jushiro-kun is tearing the place apart, why don't you?"

"Jushiro knows where to aim." Blank reasoned, "I don't and I'll just end up taking people out for no good reason. Jushiro's trying to steer interest away from Naruto and Sarutobi-sama by causing hellish destruction around the epicenter of the town. He's not really aiming for any civs. If I get into it then all I'm going to hit are civvies. I need to draw enough ninja towards me to defeat with overpowered attacks or I'm done for."

"Well then do something stupid to attract attention up here to you!" She said before slapping him on the shoulder, getting herself shocked for her trouble, "Ow! Stupid lightning."

Blank grinned, "Sorry. I can't turn it off right now. You know that." He sighed, "Alright here's a big old 'here's Blank' beacon. Coming right up! He started shooting massive amounts of lightning into the sky. That would have been how he would have wasted the dangerous amounts of electricity in his body, but that would have been wasteful and most of it would have been naturally reabsorbed by him anyway.

After a few minutes of making his presence well known he saw numerous ninja coming from the village below to him, "Okay, now it's time for senseless destruction, Fukushuu no Arashi (Storm of Vengeance)!" He began chasing down and striking the attacking ninja trying to get close to his position with his powerful lightning storm as Eiko kept a safe distance away from him.

Eventually the attacks on his elevated position stopped, leaving Blank high and dry again with no targets to expel his large quantities of stored electricity on.

Eiko frowned when he stopped attacking though she couldn't see the village from where she was standing, however she did see the incoming attack on Blank's person, "Blank-kun watch out!"

Blank turned to his side where a massive stone golem appeared, ready to attack him. He quickly threw up his wall of electricity, however it was smashed right through by the golem, sending Blank flying backwards onto the ground where Eiko was right by his side, taking care not to touch him and shock herself, "What the hell was that?" He questioned, until he got a good look at the large person that was controlling the golem that was connected to his mouth, "Ah, Naruto told us about Iwa ninja he had seen before. You must be Akatsuchi big man."

Eiko stood in front of Blank defensively, "I've got you Blank-kun. I'll help you fight."

Blank shook his head and moved himself back in front of her, "No, you're not. Medics don't fight direct battles and you sure as hell aren't going to when you're the only one that can piece us all back together if we get fucked up out here. You're staying back and I'm handling this. Go to the rendezvous point. Naruto might need your help if Akiza was tortured and we both know that she was. Not a single one of these fools will follow you."

Eiko pouted at being left out but nodded and vacated the battlefield, knowing that this fight was going to be destructive, 'Please be careful… and get rid of that power quickly. You only have twenty minutes to blow off the surplus energy.' She thought to herself as she got out of range of any of Blank's possible attacks and ran away to the designated area.

Just as she left, an entire platoon of Iwa ninja arrived to back up the rotund elite shinobi that was already facing Blank down.

"I'm not going to lose to any of you." Blank said confidently despite the numbers disadvantage, "And I'm going to get out of here with all of my friends and teammates. And if we survive this suicidal bullshit I'm going to ask the pretty lady that just got herself out of dodge to marry my dumb ass." Lightning began to fill the area, dangerously lashing out at anything within reach, generating enough force to levitate him slightly off of the ground as he glared at Akatsuchi with the blank blue-white eyes reflecting the power within his body, "My name is Blank Nogami, last scion of the fallen Nogami Clan formerly of Kumogakure no Sato. I am bar-none the single most powerful practitioner of lightning-based ninjutsu in the entire world… and you cannot defeat me."

XxX

The group of advancing Iwa shinobi, alongside the elite jounin Kitsuchi, were finally approaching the summit where the reign of destruction that had befallen their village was originating from. "This is it men!" Kitsuchi shouted, stirring all of the men into a unanimous cry of battle, "Make this bastard pay for what he has done to our village! No mercy from Iwa!"

"Heh, heh, heh…" A voice said in a sinister manner as a thick mist set over the advancing troops, bringing them to a halt, "I knew going on this mission would bring me a nice little body count." The voice laughed again, "Do you fools know who I am?"

Kitsuchi narrowed his eyes, "Zabuza Momochi. And what are you doing here?" Kitsuchi turned abruptly as the sound of a few of his men getting cut down around him rang out.

Zabuza spoke casually as he skulked around the mist, cutting down the overmatched Iwa shinobi that were ill-prepared for his stealthy assault, "Oh you know… nothing much really. Helping a blonde brat save his girl from you idiots… keeping my fool of a son-in-law at the summit protected from having to fight you all so that he can focus on tearing your village asunder." While he was speaking, three more Iwa ninja dropped like the cannon fodder they really were at this point, "The usual stuff a guy like me finds himself subjected to from time to time."

Kitsuchi snapped at his men, "You all won't be able to find him in this mist! Head back to the village and inform the shinobi there that we've pinpointed the location of the lead attacker!" The men received the order and ran away, bringing a round of laugher from Zabuza, "And just what is so funny now 'Demon of the Mist?'" He cringed when the sounds of his retreating men getting slaughtered by the bunch echoed out in his ears.

"Did you really think they were going to be able to get away from me? This is my world you fool!" Zabuza taunted him, raising the ire of the commanding shinobi who was now alone in the mist, "Now… it's just you and me. For your sake I would hope that you are as good as your station leading these poor bastards would suggest you are."

Kitsuchi made hand-seals and called out his jutsu in response to Zabuza's stalking technique, "Doton: Moguragakure no Jutsu (Earth Release: Hiding Like a Mole Jutsu)!" Kitsuchi burrowed underground, eliciting a growl from Zabuza as he had found a way to escape Zabuza's silent killing fighting style.

'What the hell am I going to do now?' Zabuza thought to himself as Kitsuchi burrowed around, 'There's no source of water around here so I can't use any ninjutsu. Oh who cares! I'm Zabuza fucking Momochi, the Demon of the Mist, one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist! I've got Kubikiribouchou, I'll just cut the son of a bitch to shreds! Just come out so I can put you down!'

Kitsuchi emerged from the ground with a kunai drawn and at the ready as he thought he had found Zabuza only to find nothing but air and mist. This was almost his final mistake as he nearly lost his head to a single swing from Kubikiribouchou that he ducked.

Following through with his mighty swing, Zabuza spun around in a full 360 as he faced Kitsuchi again and stabbed at the crouching man, missing him as his sword impaled itself through the rock in the ground. Zabuza used it as leverage to kick him hard, knocking him far away with pure brute force, showing the strength that he used to haul his massive sword around through a physical attack.

Getting back to his feet quickly, not nearly being done fighting yet, Kitsuchi made a snake seal and smashed his palm into the ground. As Zabuza charged in with his sword drawn to rend a body part or two away from the Iwa jounin, dust, rocks and all kinds of particles kicked up, obscuring him from the swordsman's sight. Thus when he took his swing he hit nothing, "Damn it… he's underground again."

Kitsuchi was able to track Zabuza underground better than he could above ground and emerged from nearby, swinging a kunai at Zabuza's Achilles tendons, prompting the man to jump to keep his mobility and overall ability to walk, 'So it's a game of cat and mouse. Above ground he can't see me, below the ground I can't come at him the way I need to. Fine, eventually one of us is going to slip up and then it will be game over. *laughs* I'm game for it.'

XxX

(With Naruto and Hiruzen)

After coming up with nothing at the ANBU HQ, the next plan was to head to the Tsuchikage Tower in order to find Akiza. The trip through the village to find the place was very uneventful… well uneventful if you didn't count the sounds of panic and explosions every fifteen seconds as uneventful, but for the attacking force it was all according to plan.

The diversion of the village's destruction worked just fine as far as allowing the two would-be rescuers to get close to the new target building, as they pretty much slipped in without having to kill anyone this time… until they got inside of course and then the place was basically loaded down with Iwa ninja.

Naruto and Hiruzen had more or less cut a bloody swatch through the Tsuchikage Tower as they almost turned the place upside down to find Akiza, however it was all for naught, "I'm so sick of this!" Naruto shouted as he and the grizzled old veteran stood at the top of the tower overlooking the destruction that Jushiro had made and was still creating, "Jiji I need to look harder. We aren't moving fast enough. I can cover more ground another way but I can't take you with me. You can't stand on clouds."

Hiruzen nodded, "I understand Naruto. Do not worry about me though, I will be fine. Go and retrieve Akiza-chan and I will meet you at the extraction point with the others later."

Naruto nodded, "Thank you Sarutobi-jiji… and be safe. We're all getting out of this together. Remember that." Sarutobi gave Naruto a reassuring smile, one that Naruto returned before clicking his heels together and jumping off of the top of the building, forming a cloud in mid-air and speeding away on it.

"That's an interesting technique Sarutobi." An old voice said as in a cloud of dust, the diminutive figure of Onoki appeared, "It seems the boy's growth as a ninja is something I was right on the money for when I deemed him an S-rank threat. I would have figured that the Akatsuki would have been up to the task of getting rid of him though. They've never let me down before."

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes at his earthen counterpart, "Hiring that group to attack Naruto… do you know of what they are? Nevermind it doesn't matter. The information would do no good since one of us clearly won't be walking away today."

Onoki chuckled, "You always were my sworn blood enemy back during the wars Sarutobi. Just like my predecessor and the Nidaime Mizukage. They wound up killing each other in the end though. Maybe this won't end the same way."

"You don't seem too concerned that your village is being systematically decimated." Hiruzen said, keeping a wary eye on his soon to be opponent as another of Jushiro's periodic explosions ripped into the helpless village.

"Concern?" Onoki said jokingly, "Oh no. I'm more furious right now than concerned. My shinobi will annihilate yours and that will be that, and once that's over we'll strike deep at the heart of Konohagakure for orchestrating this. And there won't be a single village that would dispute us for it… they might even join in, and unlike last time there's no Minato Namikaze to save your miserable hides"

"Konoha has nothing to do with this." Hiruzen said resolutely, "This is all us. Everyone that is involved with this attack is already here. We've left all ties to the village behind and the youngsters here are risking their lives and status for the girl that you've taken." He glared harshly at him, "As far as I'm concerned this is an eye for an eye. Akiza Tamagawa is an official Konoha ninja after you cast her out of your ranks. It was not our fault that you failed to take into account the valuable tool you allowed her to leave with. You taking her and the weapon in her possession were acts of war. So if you were to really put things in perspective and if you truly want to push blame on Konoha for this you were the aggressor, and everything I've left Tsunade in instruction to our actions will explain it as such." The wily old multi-generational politician smirked victoriously, "You have nothing…"

Onoki bared his teeth at Hiruzen in anger, "I will kill every single person involved in this attack publicly, after I kill the Tamagawa girl in front of whatever survivors there are to let you know the extent of your failure… and your death I will savor the most Sarutobi."

Hiruzen laughed, "Have you forgotten who I am Onoki? I'm the God of Shinobi! And I've had time to hone my skills since I've left office! You can't defeat me here, but feel free to try if you believe we have a score to settle and I'll show you exactly who I am! I couldn't bring myself to kill Orochimaru because he was my student, but you aren't Orochimaru are you?"

Onoki and Hiruzen threw killing intent back and forth at each other, "Good!" Onoki yelled at him, "I'll crush you and then that blonde rat Uzumaki! And then your village will be next!" He shouted before being forced to block a punch from Hiruzen, who picked him up with his free hand and headbutted the old man with his plated helmet before throwing him across the roof of the Tsuchikage Tower like a ragdoll.

Hiruzen set himself in a taijutsu stance, "It seems you're still as physically frail and dreadful at taijutsu as you ever were Onoki." He taunted, gesturing for the old man to get up, "Come on now. Don't tell me sitting behind that desk for so many years dulled you even further than before. Don't you have any bite left in you?

Onoki stood back up with a strange cube that had a sphere in its center in his hands, "Jinton: Genkai Hakuri no Jutsu (Dust Release: Detachment of the Primitive World Jutsu)!" He hurled it at Hiruzen who moved aside and let the attack hit the roof, the justu immediately turning the roof into dust, as the two powerful ninja dropped to the underlying floor, "It seems that for the first time in a long time I'll have to work."

Hiruzen's smirk stayed on his face, "So I'm historically your superior, I'm superior in technique, and now I can say that unlike you I'm actually not rusty." He tried to throw Onoki off with his taunting mind games as he bit his thumb and tried to make the hand-seals for summoning, "Tell me again how I'm _not_ going to win this battle. Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!"

In a puff of smoke, at Hiruzen's side was his familiar battle companion, Enma, "**It's been a while Hiruzen.**" He said earnestly before looking at Onoki and smirking, "**Oh, so I get to kick around the old gnome again do I?**"

Onoki didn't rise to the insult, "You two old monkeys will see this place as your grave. I've sent all of the young ones away for this one. They don't need to be getting in the way of two kage-level ninja in the midst of a conflict."

"Agreed." Hiruzen said, "But if Naruto sees them and they attack him your consideration for their lives will mean next to nothing." He said as Enma transformed into a large staff that he kept a firm grip on, "Henge: Kongounyoi (Transformation: Adamantine Nyoi)! Now let us settle this longstanding score of ours once and for all!"

XxX

Naruto flew low through the village, dodging the explosions that he could swear Jushiro had set up to aim at him at this point for shits and giggles. After a moment, Naruto looked behind him to see some of the faster Iwa ninja in pursuit, planning a collaborative effort to pull him down, "If you aren't here to tell me where Akiza-chan is…" Naruto said mostly to himself as he pulled a white glove onto his left hand, "Then get the fuck out of my way!" He snapped his fingers and instantly incinerated the unsuspecting pursuing force. A group that had mobilized to cut him off in front of him quickly formed a large wall to attempt to encircle and box Naruto in.

Naruto scoffed and flew directly up and out of the cylinder-shaped trap and snapped his fingers one time, starting a fire inside of the cylinder and turning it into a stone over as the attempted trappers wound up dying as a direct result of their own trap, "I'll do this all night until I find out where she is!" He saw numerous shinobi standing on the rooftops of the village with their weapons drawn in an attempt to get him down and kill him, "My name is Naruto Uzumaki! The Fullmetal Alchemist, and your worst fucking nightmare!" He put his right hand behind his back to increase the speed of his flight as he flew past the defenders and killed them where they stood with his Flame Alchemy using his gloved left hand.

From a distance, in the middle of the trails of destructive explosions making paths through Iwagakure one would also see large fireballs sparking up randomly as an airborne figure hurtled around the village at high speeds.

XxX

In a large cave situated deep inside of one of the mountain ridges surrounding Iwagakure, away from any knowledge of the attack going on outside, Kurotsuchi watched in silence as Akiza, who was chained to the floor with her arms and legs outstretched, screamed and howled in both pain and insanity. Her eyes were now fully pitch black and her canines had turned to fangs, signifying her in her berserk mode. However instead of her wielding Sekki Kiritateru and using it to access her cursed form, the weapon was currently emerging slowly from her chest, seemingly from some sort of pocket dimension, but from the sounds of anguish coming from Akiza it was still her body.

Kurotsuchi shook her head at the sight of what Akiza had become. She was chained in the middle of a specialized seal, meant to assist in the extraction of her symbiotic connection to the weapon, as five shinobi with relatively high levels of chakra sat outside of the seal and provided the power needed to break the previously mentioned connection, "This sounds ungodly."

The weapon was almost sticking all the way out of her chest, only the end of the pole still needed to emerge. A dark pulse, almost reminiscent of killing intent radiated from the weapon like a steady heartbeat, this feeling along with the entire experience of Akiza's extraction had left Kurotsuchi quite unnerved, "What kind of treasure of the shinobi world is this? This weapon seems like something malevolent… not like any of the Treasured Tools of the Rikudou Sennin that the old man told me about."

Akiza let out one final scream that everyone there could have sworn echoed loud enough to seemingly sound out over all of the panic going on around the village. Kurotsuchi and the others in the cave covered their ears lest they go deaf from the pained shriek that preceded Akiza's body going limp on the floor of the cave.

The weapon that had been the point of all of the trouble came to a rest right beside her, standing straight up, blade pointing to the ceiling, pole on the ground. The group of ninja that had been the ones providing the power for the extraction stood up, tired from using so much chakra for the duration of the ritual, and walked towards Sekki Kiritateru to get a better look, with one even trying to reach out and touch it.

"Don't lay a finger on it!" Kurotsuchi shouted in warning, "Right now the weapon doesn't have a master. If you try to touch it, it will try to bond with you… and if you don't have the will and power to bend it to your will it will drive you insane. It's been documented. Akiza here has been the only one in the history of our little village's time with the weapon to be able to use it and keep her wits about her." She then remembered how Akiza's sanity had been fully lost the moment the extraction process started, "Of course not anymore."

"What do we do now Kurotsuchi?" One of the men asked.

She scratched her head, "Well I guess I'll go and tell the old man that we've finished ripping that stupid weapon out of Akiza." She looked down at her old comrade, too weak to try fighting anymore, but with her eyes still showing the signs of her berserk personality, "It's about time for her execution for her betrayal to our village." She then began walking out of the cave, "You guys stay here until I get back with grandpa. He'll have some thanks to hand out to all of you guys for a job well done."

The men all cheered quietly amongst themselves for finishing the important mission bestowed upon them. After a round of high-fives and complaints about how tired they were and how long that took a few of them looked at the seemingly half-past dead Akiza. One of the men kneeled down by her and tried to touch her face as she growled threateningly at him.

"I wouldn't do that man." One of the other ninja said in amusement at the scene before him, "Look at her. You might lose a finger or two trying to touch her."

The man about to touch her smirked and let out a laugh, "Yeah right. Whatever, just look at her. She doesn't have the energy to even blink right now, let alone do anything to hurt me or any of us." He stroked her face and pulled his hand away when she made an almost lifeless move to remove one of his digits and render it to a nub, "Ha, you see?"

Another ninja shook his head, "This is really pathetic. Look at her. Killing her would be merciful at this point."

The ninja closest to her chuckled, "No… I can still think of a few good uses for her if you know what I'm saying. I mean she might as well help Iwa somehow right? Being glorified breeding stock would help, or maybe we could throw her to Han? That might make the psychopath calm down a bit, eh?"

SNAP

The man was instantly incinerated, not even given enough time to scream his last before he fell back away from Akiza and in moments was rendered to ashes. The other men turned towards the entrance in alarm and complete shock at the sudden spontaneous combustion of their comrade.

"I've got a better idea." A series of footsteps echoed through the cave before Naruto came into full view, a cold pair of blue eyes seemingly boring holes through their very souls as he walked closer, "How about I simply take her home and we all call this a day? I'm really sick of killing you idiots."

"What do you mean killing us?" One man asked before he put two and two together, "You attacked our village to get here didn't you?" He asked angrily, "How many of us did you kill to get this far you bastard!"

"I lost count." Naruto said, lifting his left hand to begin the snapping motion with his fingers, "And I don't have any problems adding four more of you to the bodycount. It's your choice, live for something, or fight and die for nothing." He gestured with his head to Akiza, "You all didn't want her anyway."

One of the Iwa ninja sneered as they all pulled out their kunai to face him down, "She's a traitor that must be made an example of. Of course I guess they always say that one man's trash is another man's treasure."

SNAP

Before any of them could even smirk or laugh at the bad taste joke, Naruto quickly disposed of all four of them in one burst of his alchemic attack. He sighed to himself before looking down at the entire reason he had traipsed halfway around the world and nearly destroyed an entire hidden village. The dark-skinned girl laying chained to the floor looking up at him with pitch-black, but still completely loving eyes, "Hello Akiza-chan. You have a set of lungs on you." He said to her quietly.

"**F-Fullmetal…**" She said, in a voice so weak Naruto clinched his fists in anger.

He noticed her tattered clothing and the bruises and poorly healed cuts that seemed fresh on her person, "What in Kami's name did they do to you?" He said as he kneeled down by her and destroyed the chains holding her down by her wrists, ankles, and torso, "You would never deserve anything like this… never in a million years." He held her close to himself and allowed himself to bask in her mere presence once more for the first time in weeks, "I'm so sorry. I left you alone… I'm sorry."

"**N-Not your f-fault.**" She argued weakly, "**Fullmetal never did wrong. Akiza loves Fullmetal… Fullmetal came for Akiza…**" Akiza tried lifting her arm to stroke his whisker-marks, but her body was far too weak to get it off of the ground.

Naruto smiled softly and helped her by grabbing her hand himself and placing it on his cheek, "It's time for us to bug out… Let's go home." He looked to the side and saw Sekki Kiritateru, getting him to narrow his eyes, "Hold on, one thing first. Do you want Sekki Kiritateru back?"

Akiza answered quickly, "**Yes. Akiza wants to bond with Sekki Kiritateru.**" She smiled at Naruto, "**With Fullmetal and Sekki Kiritateru Akiza feels complete, no more nightmares like before. Please.**"

Naruto nodded and grabbed her far hand, "Whatever you want Akiza-chan." He then placed it right on the weapon and helped her grasp it tight. She gasped loudly as it glowed black, as if surrounded by a void, and seemingly vanished into itself. After the weapon disappeared, Akiza's eyes slowly turned back to their original forest green color and she immediately passed out. Naruto picked her up bridal style and slowly carried her out of the cave, ready to end the most important mission he had ever undertaken with his objective firmly in his grasp.

Everyone that had helped him so far had been invaluable. He could never repay them for what they all did for him and what they all risked just for one life… one life that was more important to him than arguably any other, but still one life regardless. He could only hope that the others would be able to meet up with him at the crossroads and they could all go home, together.

XxX

(With Jushiro)

Jushiro had taken a pause from tearing the village asunder with his Red Lotus Alchemy to overlook what he had done so far from his clear vantage point, "What have I done…" Contrary to the probable beliefs of everyone that had been the recipient of his terrorizing attacks, he had not enjoyed it, he had not relished in the power of his technique. Without the red stone that amplified his power his Red Lotus Alchemy wouldn't have been that strong. It would have taken out a building at a mere touch, but this was absurd. He had never even thought of using the stone before this.

The village of Iwa looked five times as worse off as Konoha did after the Oto-Suna invasion. Hopefully Naruto had found where Akiza was, because he couldn't take doing this for too much longer. Though he hadn't seen anyone he knew he had killed far too many people for his hands to be clean. There was a special place in hell for people like him and quite honestly for his little brother to never suffer the loss he did he would gladly go there when his number was up. All he could hope for in this point was that equivalent exchange was prevalent in hell because if not he was never going to fight off the evils that awaited him when he died.

But he would do it again. He would do it again because Naruto would do it for him. Because that's what brothers did.

"Get your girl out of there runt… and enjoy her. Because you and me are going to be getting good and toasty in hell for this when we kick the bucket." He said to himself as he looked at the tattoos on his palms once more, "I've already done this much… What's a little more at this point?" He was about to activate another explosion when he saw a figure on a cloud fly away from the mountain range at the far end of the village.

The airborne figure flickered a flaming trail through the sky every few moments. And that was the signal. The objective had been accomplished. Now everyone could leave and head towards the rendezvous point as soon as they could, "Fine… I need to go get Zabuza and tell him to pull out."

Just as he was to leave, shadows appeared over top of him, forcing him to look up and go wide eyed at what he saw. Massive globs of lava falling from the sky directly at him.

Jushiro cursed both in his head and audibly and moved as fast as he could to dodge them, successfully keeping himself out of harm's way. He turned to look at his attacker and frowned as he once more cursed the streak of terrible luck that seemed to follow anything attached to Naruto, "Of course I would actually have to fight someone. And of course that someone would have to be you…"

An older looking man with solid red hair and a solid red beard stood staring at him. He wore a large crown-like headpiece bearing the Iwagakure metal plate on it, a long-sleeve purple shirt and pants, and brown armor. He also had a plate of armor across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He had a very displeased look on his face as he could clearly see the damage that had been wrought on Iwagakure seemingly by this one man.

"I come back to give a progress report on how control of the Yonbi is coming along… and here I find some babyfaced punk a third of my age tearing my home apart." The man said with not a trace of humor or understanding in his voice, "I hope you're ready to die brat. You aren't walking away from this."

Jushiro sighed, "Roshi… the jinchuuriki of the Yonbi no Saru." He chuckled humorlessly, "Maybe you should be fighting old man Sarutobi?" His mild humor dropped as he looked at the pure gold ring on his left hand, surrounded by the two metal pieces on both sides of it with alchemic circles placed on them. He kissed the golden ring and flicked it as a large gauntlet that engulfed his entire right arm. It engulfed every part of the arm like a suit of armor piece and clawed fingers with spikes on the side of the wrist and had a large transmutation circle on the back of the elbow in the subtle design of a yin-yang pattern.

Roshi glared at Jushiro and his new armament, "It's going to take more than that to beat me brat. Some pretty little accessory won't even come close to being enough." He said before taking a deep breath and spitting a ball of lava at Jushiro.

In response Jushiro just held up his right arm and braced it with his left, digging his feet into the ground firmly. As the ball of lava forcefully hit his outstretched arm and pushed him back. It hissed loudly as steam flew off of what was then becoming a rapidly cooling rock before actually frosting over and eventually icing over. Jushiro let it drop from his hand and hit the ground, "I'm called the Armory Alchemist because I keep coming up with ways to fight and exploit alchemy for my benefit. This is inspired by the most beautiful girl in the world that I am _going home to_ after this is over. My Freezing Alchemy… This one's for you Haku-chan."

XxX

(With Naruto and Akiza)

A short distance outside of Iwagakure on a desolate rocky plain, Naruto found he had to land as the numerous wounds and injuries that Akiza had suffered during her time as a prisoner were coming back to bite her. Naruto set her down gently, as not long after she regained consciousness she cried out in pain, "What's the matter Akiza-chan? What hurts?"

Akiza let out another cry of pain, "There's a parasite in my body that they use for torture… I feel like chewing my limbs off Fullmetal." She whimpered in pain.

"It's going to be okay…" He said to her, stroking her cheek, "Can you hold out until we meet up with the others? Eiko-neechan is with us, she can help you dull the pain and extract it."

"Yes." She said determinedly, "I've put up with it for this long. A little while longer won't be much worse." Her eyes started fluttering, "I'm so tired. I feel so weak. I'm sorry I'm so useless."

Naruto shook his head vehemently at her self-deprecating words, "You're not useless. You were a prisoner, you were tortured, and you had the bond between you and your weapon forcibly removed. Don't you worry about it. Let me handle this."

She tried speaking to him again, "What about Iwa? When they realize I'm gone they're going to come for you."

"They can't catch me." Naruto said, "Blank and Eiko will be fine as long as he can get to a source of electricity. He can jump from outlet to outlet and travel that way with her. Sarutobi-jiji is the man, enough said. And Big Boss is Big Boss. He'll get out of this, it was all his plan to escape this way anyway. Just sleep… the next time you wake up we'll be in Hi no Kuni."

Akiza nodded slightly and allowed her eyes to close, hoping that this time sleep would come more peacefully than any time before in weeks.

Naruto sighed and stood up before walking a ways away from her. As he came to a stop he spoke to seemingly no one, "Well before we do this I just want to say thank you. Thank you for not outright attacking us."

The area became humid as steam covered the open plains and the sound of armored footsteps echoed out, "I owe you all a debt myself. You took those bastards of my village down a peg. I truly wish that I could have been able to join you in your attack." Through the steam and into Naruto's sight walked a large armored man, "My name is Han… and I am the one responsible for taking your woman to Iwa. It was not personal, it was my mission and I had to complete it, just like this one."

Naruto crossed his arms and looked at the man that stood far more than a head over him, "Why fight me then? Why not just let us go. You know this is stupid, and you don't have any personal reason to do it."

Han shook his head, "They'll know I could have stopped you. If I do not fight they will simply kill me and stick the Gobi into another. I am designated as Iwagakure's guardian."

Naruto nodded in understanding, "I have the Kyuubi. And I wasn't really trusted in my village either… as a matter of fact after this stunt I just pulled I don't think I'll ever have their trust again, and I can forget about being Hokage. I understand… and it sucks that we have to fight. Maybe we could have wound up friends at some point like Suna's jinchuuriki Gaara. He's the Kazekage now. My name is Uzumaki Naruto"

Han's eyes shined momentarily with the prospect of this battle, "I know. I was dispatched in case you were around the target when we went to retrieve her. I have wanted to fight you for quite some time 'Jinchuuriki Slayer'. I guess the Kyuubi explains why you are so skilled at it. Then let us battle to the death. It is our destiny as jinchuuriki to meet one another in battle. Only one of us are guaranteed to be able to destroy the other. And destruction is the only thing that we are good for."

"I don't understand." Naruto said honestly to the seemingly depraved man standing across from him. However not understanding why he was about to fight didn't stop him from creating his arm-blade, "But not understanding isn't going to stop you from trying to kill me and drag Akiza-chan back is it?" Han shook his head in the negative, "Well in that case I know all I need to understand to get the point that you and I are going to have to fight."

Han's armor let out a torrent of steam as the killing intent between the two flew back and forth. Naruto still had no contact with Kyuubi, but he would have no option in this case except to win this one without her. Because losing was not an option; not for him, not for Akiza, not for anyone else on his team.

* * *

**Bang. Done with this chapter. Next one will be the start of all of the battles of the arc. Until the next time mi amigos… I have to go enjoy the afternoon, and you have to do… whatever it is that you all do on weekend afternoons yourselves.**

**Until the next time you hear from me, which shouldn't be too long in comparison to many others, Kenchi out.**

**P.S.: It's been one entire year since I've started writing this story and writing in general. Here's to another year of stories with good reception and even more fans next time! Later my loyal peepulation.**


	62. Yard By Yard

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I would have put this out sooner, but the servers decided to crap out on everyone while I was on a damn roll and I decided to take a break until some people shot the solution my way. So go picket and protest at someone else's house. Don't make me go get my gun. My .44 make sure all yo' kids don't grow!

**Chapter 62: Yard By Yard**

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(Jushiro vs. Roshi)

'The things I do for my runt of a little brother.' Jushiro thought to himself as he faced off against Roshi on the cliffside, holding up his new gauntlet as his primary form of defense against Roshi's apparent ability to utilize lava. This had the potential to get nasty in a hurry and he absolutely knew it. Lava wasn't the kind of thing you were finesse about, you used lava to kill someone, as simple as that. That's all that it was good for, destroying, which worked out for Roshi since he didn't really seem to be the taking prisoners type anyway.

The exact opposite of that in this instance was the aspect of his alchemy that Jushiro was hoping would be more than enough to negate the powerful ninjutsu that Roshi would be utilizing. The old, grizzled jinchuuriki looked at the frozen chunk of the lava that had been flash frozen by Jushiro, "I hope you have more in you than that boy. You're going to have to come with a better style of ninjutsu to beat me."

Jushiro shook his head and flexed his fingers and hand in the clawed metal freezing gauntlet, "Sorry. I'm not much for ninjutsu. I only know how to do a certain few that I thought would be useful to me. I'd rather fight like an alchemist than fight like a ninja."

Roshi let out a laugh, "An alchemist? You can't possibly be that good then, there are only two alchemists in the world, and there's about to be one less after I'm through with you." He was aware of the hearsay going around the world about the abilities of alchemy, but none of Naruto or Jushiro's more powerful things had ever slipped. Anyone that they fought usually died or were unable to tell other people what exactly they had seen alchemy to be capable of due to them being nuke-nin or whatever.

A smirk came to the white-haired man's face, 'Still the best kept secret technique in the Elemental Nations.' He made a gesture with his hands telling Roshi to bring it on, "Then come on and try it old man. Let the next generation of awesome tap-dance all over your face and teach you a lesson."

"Smart mouth punk." Roshi growled out to him. Who the hell did this little upstart think he was? He thought he could just walk into Iwagakure, tear the village asunder, and just walk away? He also had the balls to insult him to his face, knowing who he was and that he was a jinchuuriki, "It's time for me to take your green-as-grass snot-nose back to school before I kill you off." He kneeled and put his hands directly on the ground, "Youton: Yougan Kanketsusen (Lava Release: Lava Geyser)!"

The temperature of the ground rapidly rose to the point where the soles of Jushiro's sandals were growing hot. Jushiro narrowed his eyes and kneeled down, smashing the palm of his gauntlet-clad hand against the ground to immediately cool the heating of the ground beneath him. Looking up from where the ground was starting to frost over he wound up taking a hard punch to the face for his trouble that skipped him backwards across the ground near the edge of the cliff they were fighting near.

Getting to his feet after keeping himself from falling over the edge, Jushiro stood back up, eyes locked firmly on Roshi, 'Rookie mistake. This guy's got at least five times the experience I've got, what was I doing taking my eyes off of him to look at an attack that I stopped?' In response to taking such a hit from Roshi, Jushiro used his freezing gauntlet and flicked the ring on his other hand, forming his metal cestus glove with an alchemic circle on the back of it, a circle of triangles and a trio of runes, "You want to try that again old man?"

"Gladly brat." Roshi said before inhaling deeply, "Youton: Kazangan Heki (Lava Release: Lava Burst)!" From his mouth he fired off a rather sizeable ball of lava at Jushiro that was too large and moved too fast for him to catch like he had caught the attack from out of the sky.

Jushiro grit his teeth and with his cestus hand punched the ground, raising up a large, jagged series of rocks that formed a protective wall twenty feet up and twenty feet across, 'Wow. The stone really magnifies my powers. The wall should have been my size, and the freezing of that first ball of lava should have taken longer than it did, I basically flash froze it.' He smirked at realizing that his alchemy in all facets had been powered up by the small red stone in his necklace, 'You jinchuuriki have your own powered up states, well I have a little something to answer that with.' A hole burned through the wall and out walked Roshi with a red and black aura flying around his body wildly, 'I'm seriously going to need it too.'

Roshi roared at Jushiro as if he could hear his thought and smashed the ground with his fists. Jushiro yelled right back at him mockingly and ran directly at him. He quickly realized that this was a bad idea when Roshi's speed overwhelmed him, 'Damn, and I already have a Kage Bunshin watching the transmutation circle at the hideout. Why does Naruto always have to make using that jutsu seem so easy?'

The clang of the man's fist bouncing off of his freezing gauntlet sounded out as Jushiro found himself physically overpowered by the man, sliding back across the ground a small distance. But the thing about that was, he had an ace, no matter how stronger than him an opponent was physically.

Roshi launched another punch at him and in return, Jushiro did the same with his cestus. The two punches met, but Roshi went flying back into the wall that had been created earlier. Jushiro smirked at actually getting the advantage, though it would only work out if he landed a hit with his right arm alone, "You're strong, but this little bit of alchemy allows me to transfer my kinetic energy into a rather destructive amount of force. You've seen a bit of it in action already. I can manipulate the earth with a punch, and I'd dare say that when I hit even a super-charged jinchuuriki like you coming at me full blast I'm still head and shoulders better."

Just as he said that, Roshi freed himself from the wall, glaring at him hatefully. His arm was limp until he slung it out towards the side, and with an audible snap it was fully useable again. After doing that, the red and black aura around Roshi grew more solid and took the form of a monkey. "**There's a reason I left the village to learn to use my powers boy. They're too destructive to use in any training field that Iwa has to offer. You're going to find this out firsthand.**"

XxX

(Hiruzen vs. Onoki)

Hiruzen looked like he was trying to swat a fly at the moment as he continued to battle with his fellow kage inside of the ruined Tsuchikage Tower. Currently he was using every bit of his skill with the adamantine staff in his hands to swing at the troublesome Tsuchikage who was somehow able to fly, and not like Naruto with his ability to stand on a cloud. He could legitimately fly without anything at all, no medium like the way Naruto needed the seals he had painstakingly inscribed on the bottom of his sandals.

Eventually the veteran of countless battles past stopped swinging his weapon and began to play the waiting game. Onoki wasn't going to get close to him if he didn't have to. Even when both men were in their prime, Onoki wouldn't have gotten close to his Konoha counterpart if he could have helped it.

"Is that all you've got Sarutobi?" Onoki taunted, "I guess I should have gone after that Fullmetal-brat instead of you. At least he would have been fast enough to keep up with me. Are your brittle old bones really that weary that you can't move that fast anymore?"

'I'll show you who's brittle when I get a hold of you, you dwarfish little bastard.' Hiruzen thought to himself as he tried to track some sort of pattern in the Tsuchikage's movements. Everyone when they moved in a monotonous manner like flying circles around someone used some sort of pattern, it was human nature. If Hiruzen could point it out he could cut the airborne man off and maybe lay into him with an attack.

As he waited for Onoki to screw up, the Tsuchikage wasn't going to give him the luxury of being able to wait him out. At first he just threw shuriken that only served to be a minor nuisance as Hiruzen was able to easily bat them all away without much effort at all. Not deterred in the least by something that he easily expected, Onoki made a few hand-signs and inhaled deeply, "Doton: Dorohate Dangan (Earth Release: Mud Spatter Bullet)!" He shot several fist-sized hardened balls of mud at Hiruzen at rapid speeds.

Holding up his adamantine staff, Hiruzen blocked the attacks, but wound up being driven through one of the walls nearby by the force and velocity of the earth-based attack.

"Ugh…" Hiruzen said as he pulled himself out of the wall, "I was too old for this three years ago."

"**Get up Sarutobi.**" Enma said to him, still in staff form, "**You're not really going to let this fossil take you down that easily are you? I'll be damned.**"

"Oh you know me by now Enma." Hiruzen said with a chuckle as he dusted himself off, "I need at least one good hit to let myself know that I'm in a true battle. I'm nowhere near ready to throw in the towel yet."

"**The Uzumaki kid's signal to fall back went up quite some time ago.**" Enma commented matter-of-factly, "**This is one battle that you don't have to see all the way through. Hiruzen we're in the thick of it, I'd leave when I got the first opportunity if I were you.**"

"You think it will be that easy monkey?" Onoki asked, smirking at the two as he hovered in front of them, "You think that you'll really be getting away from me Sarutobi? The only place you'll escape me this time is in death!"

"I remember the assassins you sent oh so many years ago saying something like that, that it was a message from you." Hiruzen said before smirking, "Don't you think it was so nice of me to send the bodies back to you? I think it was one of my most magnanimous acts as Hokage." He noticed Onoki visibly bristle at that reminder from years past during the tumultuous wars. A squad of half a dozen of his best that were sent to take down the Hokage inside of his own walls and Hiruzen put them down all by himself before sending their corpses back with a mocking note.

Out of anger, Onoki sneered and formed another cube of chakra with a sphere at the center, "I'm sure they'll be eager to reunite with you and take another shot, I'll send you right to them! Jinton: Genkai Hakuri no Jutsu (Dust Release: Detachment of the Primitive World Jutsu)!" He threw the cube at Hiruzen again, hoping that the lack of mobility indoors would further hinder the old man's ability to dodge appropriately the way he was able to do on what once was the roof.

Hiruzen swiftly began running up the nearest wall to him and just as Onoki's jutsu hit the wall and turned it to dust, he was able to jump outside and land on the ground in front of the Tsuchikage Tower.

"One of the intruders!"

Enma turned back into his monkey form and immediately engaged the Iwa shinobi that were trying to intervene against Hiruzen, taking them out with a wild flurry of fists and bare feet, "**I'll keep them away. You don't need me to handle that old crone do you? You haven't slipped that much.**"

Hiruzen chuckled humorlessly before getting serious, "If you begin to be overwhelmed do not linger around Enma. I want you to return to your home the moment things begin looking too bleak."

"**Please…**" The monkey summon said in an offended manner, "**Just who do you think I am? I can run circles around these fools. I'll remain for as long as you do Hiruzen.**" He said with the utmost seriousness in his voice.

"Then I guess I'll make this quick and meet back up with Naruto-kun and the others." The former Hokage said to his faithful summon, "If you can, clear a path. If fighting Onoki takes too long I'll have to break away." Enma nodded and went off to keep the battlefield clear of anyone looking to intrude. Hiruzen looked up and saw the short, but powerful Tsuchikage emerge from the top of the tower and look down on him angrily, "In the meantime..." He began making hand-seals, "Katon: Karyuu Endan (Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Bullet)!" He launched a stream of fire that took the form of a dragon and branched into three attacks directed at Onoki to hit him from three sides.

In order to dodge the attack Onoki flew lower towards the ground, but that was what Hiruzen had desired of him, as when he did so Hiruzen had been running to the directed area, already making new hand-seals for another jutsu, "Katon: Neppa (Fire Release: Heatwave)!" He clapped his hands and released a scalding hot shockwave from the impact at Onoki who felt himself begin to heat up as burns started forming on his body.

Gritting his teeth to bite back a pained exclamation at the burns that were now on his person, Onoki flew low along the ground away from the heated air in the hopes that the air from him flying would somehow comfort his wounds. His ninja forces were spread out. This plan had hit them all at one time all over the place. There were too many of the Iwa shinobi that were either chasing down other discovered intruders, helping with the effort to protect and rescue civilians, or were killed in the opening attacks that had swept through the village mercilessly.

With Enma keeping the few troops near the center of town around the tower away, it was a strictly one-on-one conflict between the two, and like it or not for the last forty-five years it was no secret whatsoever that Hiruzen had his number in all facets of being a kage, even in the rare instances where they actually met in combat.

He would have to make his oldest enemy pay for the transgressions of his treachery all on his own, and he was quite alright with that he had to admit to himself.

Breaking off from flying and landing on the ground with a short slide, Onoki turned back towards Hiruzen, "Your little pet weapon is gone now! It's only a matter of time now that your ace-in-the-hole is no longer here!"

Hiruzen laughed as he ran towards Onoki, having had been chasing him on foot while he had been flying away, "You think that Enma is my trump card? He is my favorite summon and favorite weapon, but obviously you've forgotten who I am. When one path to beat you is closed off, another opens up!" He threw a shuriken and made a few hand-seals, "Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shuriken Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

The one shuriken became an uncountable number, all flying at Onoki in a wide spread that he couldn't dodge, thus the Tsuchikage went with his stalwart defensive tactic, "Doton: Doryuuheki (Earth Release: Earth Style Wall)!" He spat out an ever-growing glob of mud that quickly rose up and formed a massive wall covering him from the shuriken that were beaded in right on him.

Apparently Hiruzen decided to take advantage of the cover that the wall Onoki erected gave him when it came to moving and rushed the wall, getting around its side to find a rather surprised Onoki that he wasted no time whatsoever on in beginning to beat his face in. He noticed something wrong when Onoki's face gave way from the barrage of fists that the former Hokage had been dropping on him and had turned to mud.

He pulled his hand only to find it stuck inside of the mud clone's face with a strong sucking noise for his trouble.

"You've got to be kidding me Sarutobi!" Onoki said, making three hand-seals ending with him placing his hands on the ground, "Thinking that I would really just sit back and wait for you to come for me like that! Doton: Wasuremono Funbo (Earth Release: Forgotten Tomb)!" A massive hole opened up underneath Hiruzen and the mud clone he was stuck to, forcing both to fall in, with no sight to the bottom whatsoever. Removing his hands from the ground closed the hole back up, however this only led to him getting smashed hard from behind.

The short old Tsuchikage was sent flying by the attack and wound up bouncing off of the wall of the Tsuchikage Tower before he caught himself in mid-air with his flight technique. Blood trickled down his forehead and face from the impact of hitting the wall of the tower so hard and he sneered at Hiruzen, the one he had managed to do away with had been a Kage Bunshin, "You just don't know how to die do you?"

"It's a trait that Konoha shinobi wind up cultivating over long periods of time." Hiruzen replied wryly. He was glad he had stolen a page from Naruto's book and made a Kage Bunshin to test the waters so to speak instead of flat-out attacking himself. He didn't want to know how deep that hole Onoki formed was.

"Well I guess I'll just have to teach you how to meet your maker when you should." Onoki said, forming a cylinder-looking figure of chakra in his hands with a sphere in the center, "Jinton: Ni Modoru Rei (Dust Release: Return to Nothing)!" The cylinder expanded in hand to the size of a twenty foot circumference and suddenly protruded out at Hiruzen at breakneck speed.

The attack cut a large trench through the ground as it travelled towards Hiruzen. Everything caught in its path was pulverized to nothing. The target of the attack grit his teeth as he realized that no jutsu he had could directly go head-to-head with any of Onoki's special ninjutsu attacks. His Dust Release was a fearsome combination of chakra natures, nothing Hiruzen had could directly match it.

The only thing he could do was dodge and hope he wasn't caught in it. Hiruzen had never jumped away from anything as recklessly in his life. He didn't care about landing on his feet, he didn't care about his next course of action, he wasn't working out a plan of action in case he wound up being hit with the jutsu, because if he had been hit the fight would have been over. All that mattered was that he got away from the attack, nothing else.

And escape he did, by the tips of his sandals. Landing hard on the ground, the attack barreled past him and tore through what was left of the buildings in Iwagakure, 'What momentum and frightening power.' Hiruzen thought to himself as he stood up off of the ground. As he looked around for Onoki his senses told him to dodge in some way, but it was too little too late as something barreled directly into his back and drove forward with great force.

"Aww…" Onoki taunted from his place in the small of Hiruzen's back. Like a tiny projectile he plowed himself headfirst directly into the man's spine with his flight technique and carried him forward with his flight abilities, "Did 'The Professor' get caught up marveling in the might of my Dust Release? I'd love to see you reverse-engineer that one. But you're going to die here so forget that last statement." He said as he averted his direction to flying upwards into the air, "Okay then 'God of Shinobi', if you're such a 'god' then let's see you fly!"

Hiruzen was stuck on Onoki as the man continued to gain altitude, 'Come on, think. There has to be a way out of this. There has to be, just think you old fool!'

XxX

(With Blank)

Blank, his body still coursing with the ungodly amount of electricity he had absorbed from the entire village, faced off with the fifty Iwagakure ninja that had come to assist the large Iwa ninja Akatsuchi, 'Okay I have around twenty minutes left to squander off a shit-ton of electric energy or I'll die, and I've been graciously supplied with a group of ninja to take my surplus power out on. Alright then, game on.' He thought to himself, narrowing his featureless blue-white eyes that clearly had some sort of electric charge behind them.

"Let's light this candle." Blank said before jumping into the air and pointing his hands down by his sides, "Yuudou Kaishi (Induction Launch)!" From his hands produced a small burst that rocketed him higher into the air over them all, "Now let's begin for real. Shougeki Tekidan (Shock Grenades)!" Both of Blank's hands filled with flickering orbs of electricity that he threw down at the men on the ground like artillery.

The screaming blue balls of electricity exploded on contact once they hit the ground, or anyone unlucky enough to be caught in the path of the jutsu. Men on the ground had no defense against his technique. His element was their direct weakness. Even when they put up walls to block, the explosions still blew right through the earthen ninjutsu formations and took down the victims.

Meanwhile, slowly finishing his ascent into the air and beginning his descent, Blank kept pounding away with his electric missiles, 'Come on. I've got to waste this excess chakra…' He didn't even care that much about taking anyone out, they would scatter once they got a taste of how outclassed they were. All he was really worried about was getting rid of his electricity. If he couldn't his chakra coils wouldn't be able to function properly for too much longer and they would overload and blow him to bits. The pressure that his entire body was under was palpable.

Each salvo of electric grenades he threw felt like a small relief to him. At this rate he would empty himself out and all would be well.

On the ground, the Iwa ninja that were the recipients of Blank's undiscriminating assault didn't know what to do, "Nothing we have can reach him up there! He can just pulverize us down here!"

Blank was Iwagakure's kryptonite. His specialty was their weakness. His electric attacks could pierce through or pulverize any of their earth techniques. He had no need to fight to destroy Iwa, he was perfect for guerilla tactics like the ones that he and Eiko had undertaken, and he had more than enough power to thrive in this situation. If it weren't for the fact that Jushiro had the power and tactics to run the team himself he would have been the squad leader.

"Seiteki Surasuta (Static Thrusters)." Blank drifted towards the ground with his hands in the same motion he used to hike himself up into the air, only now he used static electricity to slow his fall.

One of the older shinobi that had managed to survive Blank's last attack glared out at him until he got a good look at his eyes and recoiled in shock, "No! Y-You're all supposed to be dead!"

Blank smirked at being recognized, "Sorry, there are three of us left. Your little extermination mission didn't exactly pan out the way you thought it would did it?"

"What's he talking about?" Akatsuchi asked the man that looked as if he had seen a ghost in Blank, "Yeah, the guy is strong, but you look terrified."

"There was a clan… from Kumogakure. Over the course of the history of that village they sat between territories dominated by Mizu no Kuni and Tsuchi no Kuni. In order to combat the might held by both villages that had them surrounded one clan took their nature transformation skill with lightning ninjutsu to its highest level. The strongest of this clan could pierce the densest Doton technique and could electrocute a ship full of invaders from a distance before they ever reached shore in Kaminari no Kuni." The man explained as eyes focused on Blank, "The Nogami Clan, however they were systematically hunted down and destroyed. In the Bingo Book there was a standing request for the heads of any member of this clan. Anyone could cash in on it, missing-ninja, even Konoha shinobi could if they chose to at one point. You should be extinct!"

Blank held up two fingers, "You missed two." He said with absolutely no humor or inflection of emotion in his voice as he raised a third finger, "Those two had a child, and that child is the greatest practitioner of Raiton ninjutsu in the world." His eyes started generating a massive amount of electricity, "I thought I introduced myself already. I don't like repeating myself. Me o no Raijin (Eyes of the Lightning God)." Blinking his eyes fired off a blast of the electricity they had gathered in two separate directions.

The explosion caused cleared a path that Blank walked through the center of. Ignoring the lives that he had possibly just taken, Blank started weaving his hands in a circular pattern, forming visible webs of electricity to flow between his hands and fingers. The amount of power he started generating formed a humming noise that grew louder and louder as the air around him started crackling.

'Akatsuchi and the remaining men with him all backed up and prepared their respective ninjutsu to combat Blank all at once, not planning on giving him the chance to attack again, "Everyone put everything you've got in one move! He can't beat all of us at once!" He ordered as they all began making the same hand-seals, "Doton: Ibaina Dochuubaku (Earth Release: Grand Landslide)!"

The ground around the twenty men that collaborated on the single jutsu started jumbling itself up and speeding towards Blank in a massive tidal wave of earth.

The movement of the electricity manipulating shinobi's hands simply started weaving faster and faster as the humming noise around him grew louder and the air crackling and bursting in sharp pops around him got more intense, "You don't get it. In this form, I _am_ lightning. Raiton: Ion Kadou (Lightning Release: Ionic Vortex)." Blank's hands had a fully tangible amount of electricity that he stanched out by clapping his hands together as hard as he could.

Around Blank's body, a tornado of solid blue and white electricity began to form and grow. It grew to be ten stories off of the ground and seventy feet wide, "**This should get rid of the rest of my pent-up electricity.**" Blank said in a distorted voice from the center of the tornado as he began walking forward slowly towards the massive landslide. The two attacks hit head-on and strained against one another.

"How in the hell is he actually pushing back against all of us at once?" One man yelled as they all continued to focus the attack against Blank.

XxX

Eiko had taken Blank's warning and had vacated the area of his battle as quickly as she could. A rather loud clap of thunder got her to turn around where she saw a huge tornado over the plains made of electricity, "I swear, you'd better get out of this you idiot. If you die on me I'll never forgive you." She said to no one in particular.

"He'll be fine." She turned abruptly to find Zabuza walking towards her holding Kubikiribouchou. His body had multiple bruises and marks of battle on it, but he seemed to be in well enough condition to travel, "Don't even think of going back either girl. From the looks of things he can't fight if someone he cared about was there. It's better to leave."

Eiko nodded wordlessly before turning back and continuing on towards the agreed upon rendezvous point for everyone to meet at, "Did you win your fight?"

Zabuza laughed slightly, "Not really. I kind of left the guy there fighting a Mizu Bunshin while I left." He sighed, "I'm not dying for something like this, even if it is for the Uzumaki brat and his dumbass older brother. When his signal went up I made myself scarce."

Eiko couldn't help but start doing the math, "So you and I are getting away. That leaves Blank-kun, Sandaime-sama, Jushiro-kun, and Naruto-kun." She frowned deeply and looked back at Blank's massive ninjutsu, "Do you think all of the others will be okay?"

"Huh? I don't know." Zabuza said absently, "You've got white-haired brat and your boyfriend back there, you know how good they are, they're your teammates. You've got the last residing Hokage back there with a license to cut loose, do you really think that old man is weak? And then you've got Uzumaki, the Fullmetal brat… and he's pissed off and hell-bent on getting his girl out of there. So _you_ tell _me_ if you think they'll be okay."

XxX

(Jushiro vs. Roshi)

'This is just great.' Jushiro thought to himself as he punched the ground and raised another jagged wall, 'He can melt through my Freezing Alchemy and my Strong-Arm Alchemy.' Jushiro then punched the wall itself and shot of several large spiked projectiles at Roshi with the force of his fist.

The man simply used his heightened skills with his biju's chakra to dodge away from Jushiro's attempted attack. He quickly closed the distance and lifted both arms above his head for a double-fisted smash. Jushiro raised his arm that had his freezing gauntlet and used it to block Roshi's attack, though the power of the man behind the attack brought him to his knees. Jushiro let out a grunt of effort as he strained with his other arm bracing the one that was up to block, 'Damn it, I think he broke my arm through the gauntlet!'

Roshi smirked and grabbed a hold of Jushiro's injured arm, forcing him to yell out in pain, and turned to harshly throw him into the wall that his alchemy had created. Jushiro exhaled sharply as he saw the man bounding towards him to finish him off. Roshi's body was engulfed in the deep red and black chakra of the Yonbi in the form of a great monkey as he charged forward, 'Come on. How was I supposed to win this? What did the runt tell me about jinchuuriki?'

_(Flashback – A Few Days after Naruto's Return)_

_Jushiro had Naruto in a headlock in the middle of their apartment with a huge grin on his face, "You little bastard. Out there beating jinchuuriki left and right and getting famous. Who said you could be more famous than me huh?"_

_Akiza sat on the couch in the living room watching on with amusement, "Please don't break him Jushiro. I'm going to need him for later."_

_Jushiro scoffed, "Please… I'm not even trying to damage that part of his body that you'll need." With that being said he found himself picked up off of the ground at a high angle, "Um… mercy?"_

"_Sorry. Fresh out of that." Naruto said before dropping his own body backwards to the ground like dead weight, slamming Jushiro on the back of his head… and himself as well, "Ow."_

"_Ow…" Jushiro said in identical pain as he watched Naruto get up off of the ground first and fall onto the couch on top of Akiza, feigning unconsciousness and causing her to laugh and try to force him off. Pushing himself to his feet, Jushiro rubbed the bump on the back of his head, "So what's it like? Fighting a jinchuuriki?"_

_Naruto stopped playing with Akiza to think about the question, "Well let's say, using a biju could make a terrible ninja dangerous. It's a lot of raw power that a regular person can't match Big Boss. A Kyuubi-chan charged Rasengan is super-strong."_

_Jushiro nodded, "So, weaknesses?"_

_Naruto got off of Akiza, taking a good-natured punch to the stomach for laying on her for so long, "You've got to concentrate hard to be able to keep control, so if you can break that concentration the power will fade. And then there's the fact that the more demonic chakra they use, the more they tap into base instincts. Eventually they don't even try fighting like shinobi anymore, but that makes them ultra-dangerous, a berserk jinchuuriki."_

"_So what about you?" Akiza asked him curiously. She had never wanted to know too much about Naruto being a jinchuuriki. He was Naruto and that was all that really mattered all things considered._

_Naruto smiled at her, "Well you're never going to fight me and force me to use Kyuubi-chan's chakra so you don't ever have to worry about me going berserk or anything like that."_

_(End Flashback)_

Jushiro honed in on the charging Roshi and retook his feet, cradling his injured arm to his chest, 'Okay, he's got more brute force than me, but I've got the Philosopher's Stone. My alchemy can be way stronger than this. All he seems to be worried about is putting me down hard, and he's sure he can just force his way through my every attack. I know how to win this battle, so I just need to do it!' He thought to himself as he willed his injured arm to faintly move.

XxX

(Naruto vs. Han)

The steam flying from Han's armor engulfed the plains that he and Naruto were preparing to do battle on. Hopefully that didn't have a legitimate use and was just for intimidation purposes, because even as a mind-game alone it was damn effective. Naruto might have been shaken by that display if he had been alone and only fighting for himself. Unfortunately for Han he had someone he needed to protect, someone he needed to rescue from this country, and no giant in armor was going to keep him from getting her out. He'd crack him like a walnut if it came down to it.

With or without Kyuubi to help him.

"**Please be careful Naruto-kun.**" Kyuubi pleaded with him. Damn Jiraiya and his Gogyou Fuuin, she couldn't help him in any way at all, **"You can't draw on my chakra, I can't even heal your wounds as I am. Just don't die out here.**"

'I won't die Kyuubi-chan.' Naruto said to his inner demon as he stared Han down, 'I made you a promise that I'd get you out, and I know how to do that now. I finally have Akiza-chan, and if this guy thinks that he can stop me he obviously has no idea who he's dealing with.'

He told her that, but he knew just as well as she did that without her chakra he was missing a huge knockout punch so to speak. He'd have to be smart about this fight because If Han decided to take things to the next level Naruto couldn't flat-out match him power-wise.

Deciding that he had waited to act for long enough, Naruto quickly utilized his oldest ninjutsu that he had learned, "Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!" Naruto produced a powerful wind that blew the steam away from the area, however Han himself simply stood in place, not budging from the intense gust that Naruto's jutsu had created.

"It is of no consequence." Han said calmly after his steam had completely vanished, "With the furnace on my back I can always simply create more. I hope you did not expect such an easy solution to the battle Naruto Uzumaki. I've told you already, One of us will die here today, it is our destiny as jinchuuriki, as weapons, to fight one another to the death."

"That's a stupid thing to say." Naruto growled out irritably, "I'll kick your teeth in and make you see what a stupid thing to say that was." He formed a trio of Kage Bunshin, he had to watch the numbers he used at one time for this fight, he couldn't make an army, and he couldn't use Bunshin Daibakuha, he didn't have the chakra to do so and keep going.

"You can't fight what we are." Han said as the furnace on his back hissed and generated more steam. The man made hand-seals, "Like it or not we were created for nothing more than conflict. Jouton: Shibo Shinobiyoru (Steam Release: Creeping Strangulation)."

The steam from Han's furnace billowed out towards Naruto and his clones who threw their creator into the air to keep him out of harm's way. To keep himself from falling back into the cloud of steam, Naruto created his flight cloud underneath his feet, "Tenhouoki Fuuin (Skywalker Seal)!" He looked down at Han's cloud of steam that had surrounded his clones. They tried forcing their way out, but for some reason the cloud was impenetrable. The clones began choking before they finally expired. The memories of the horrible way his clones died filled his head. Death by asphyxiation wasn't exactly how he ever wanted to go out.

Han looked up at the aerial Naruto and motioned his hands towards him, "You think that you are safe in the skies? You would be wrong on that account if you did." The steam once again flew from his furnace and joined with the steam he had used with his last attack, both clouds combined and rushed up towards Naruto in an effort to catch him the way his clones had been caught.

Naruto narrowed his eyes and immediately flew away from the cloud, however the surprisingly speedy steam cloud broke up and separated, trying to cut off the area in the sky in front of him in a pincer motion. Meanwhile the trail that the steam had broken off from attempted to form a dome above him, 'Damn, this jutsu is versatile.' Naruto thought to himself as he diverted his flight pattern to head down towards the ground.

The billowing clouds tried to move and take him out, but he dodged the thick steam creations and flew right towards Han as fast as he could, "Eat this!" Naruto yelled before deactivating the cloud he rode on, forcing himself to be propelled forward with his right fist cocked back. Han's eyes widened as Naruto came right at him and hit him right on the chin with his metal arm as hard as he could.

The force of the punch drove the towering jinchuuriki backwards, sliding through the top layer of ground on the plans before coming to a stop. He looked at Naruto with a bloodshot gleam in his eyes and a massive crumpling dent in the metal facemask of his steam armor, "Yes, that's exactly what I want out of you." He said in an increasingly manic manner, "Show me the power of my fellow weapon! This is why I exist! To match power with my brethren to the death!" The steam started to surround his entire body as a tail seemingly trailed off of the back of it, "Come Uzumaki! Use your biju! Let our battle tear the plains asunder! Our combined power will alter the structure of the environment forever at the conclusion of our bout!"

Naruto flexed out his auto-mail arm and glared at the insane jinchururiki, "Akiza-chan was right. This place really fucked you up, didn't they Han?" He clapped his hands, "Sorry to say, no Kyuubi-time for you. I'm going to beat you without her."

"You'll disappoint me if I don't get your best Uzumaki." Han said in a threatening manner, "You're going to fight me with the Kyuubi's chakra, even if I have to force you to use it!" He took off his hat and threw it directly at Naruto with his incredible strength.

Naruto then removed his hands from the other and placed them on the ground, lifting himself off of the base level with a pillar. However Han's hat managed to cut right through the pillar Naruto had formed as if it hadn't been made of solid earth, 'Man he's strong! Even for a hat made of metal that shouldn't have been that easy!' He thought as he flipped off of his ruined structure and back to the ground.

Han's hat came back around to the man and he caught its razor-sharp edge in his armored hand, "I'll force the Kyuubi's chakra out of you. There's no joy in squashing you as you are. Without the demonic chakra lying dormant in our bodies we're just like the putrid, two-faced, cowardly normal people that created us and made us what we are. I want a battle with my equal. I want the blood of the closest thing to perfection that can be seen in this world, either yours or my own, to stain this ground. After today people will know that we fought here on this day, and they will understand…" He slowly placed his hat back onto his head, "They will understand that every day that they have in existence around them is because _we_ allow it, because _we_ choose not to crush them under our heel. That _they_ created something that they could not possibly control due to their own greed and fear." He pointed at Naruto, "You _will_ utilize the Kyuubi no matter what I have to do to push it out of you."

Naruto laughed humorlessly, "Well then you're going to have to kill me Han." He said, clapping his hands and forming his arm-blade on his right hand, "Because I said I wasn't using it, and I won't. But I am still a weapon, I'm just not the same kind as you. I'm an alchemist. And I'm going to show you just what kind of weapon that makes me."

* * *

**Alright peeps. Next chapter will be the finish of the conflicts in Iwa. The reason this took so long to get out is because I broke my goddamn hand as readers of my other works already know, and I had to come up with a fighting style for Han from scratch since no one knows anything about him other than the steam armor aspect (I even stole the throwing his hat part from Kung Lao of Mortal Kombat fame… because he is awesome). The finished product of my research and brainstorming will be on display very soon next chapter so be on the lookout.**

**In the meantime I'll be healing. Maybe tomorrow I can start actively sparring again, wouldn't that be nice?**

**Kenchi out.**


	63. An Act of Vengeance and Love

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. You've all been reading these for over a year, do you not get the point yet? Geez, you guys must have the memory span of goldfish…

**Chapter 63: An Act of Vengeance and Love**

* * *

(Jushiro vs. Roshi)

Jushiro had a plan. Against Roshi's overwhelming power that he had managed to cultivate through decades of training it would take pretty much everything that Jushiro's Philosopher's Stone had to offer to match it directly. Good thing using too much of that power gave Roshi more or less battle tunnel vision because that gave him the chance to finish the fight himself.

His gauntlet-clad forearm was broken, but he didn't really need it for his plan. As the elderly jinchuuriki launched at him again, Jushiro whipped his necklace and pendant off and turned it into his large chained cutting weapon that he slung out at Roshi just for the old man to dodge. Jushiro stayed crouched low with his bad hand on the ground to brace himself as he swung the chain around, keeping the powered up enemy at bay.

Roshi roared in anger at how Jushiro was trying to keep him from tearing him apart and spat more globs of lava at him. Jushiro didn't bother trying to use his injured arm to form an ice transmutation, he simply dodged. He moved to another location and lashed out with his ranged weapon again, watching it cut through the ground effortlessly like a buzzsaw through weak wood on its way to Roshi.

"**You stupid brat, you'll never touch me with that!**" Roshi snapped at Jushiro as he dodged the attack. Jushiro's chain was super-fast with the Philosopher's Stone directly powering it. Any lesser shinobi with weak reflexes or lower levels of speed would have been cut in half by now, but Roshi had a demon powering him, and he was a spectacular shinobi regardless. As far as he could see, Jushiro was insulting him thinking he could be touched by such a weapon.

Jushiro once again moved when it looked like Roshi would rush at him. The red-haired man actually got past the white-haired Konoha alchemist's weaponry and barreled into him with his shoulder, knocking him away hard.

Jushiro rolled and got back to his feet, stumbling and coughing up blood from the blunt force he had just taken to his sternum, 'For fuck's sake I almost got my chest caved in with that you fucking gorilla!' He would have yelled that out loud if his lungs hadn't been screaming at him for being a fucking idiot for taking that hit. He could have dodged, but taking the hit was necessary. And when he looked and saw that the average sized transmutation circle on the ground was still there he knew his efforts weren't in vain, 'Fine then you brute. Two more circles. Two more and your ass is dead. You'd better pray to whatever god your elderly ass worships.

Jushiro made four hand-seals, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" Jushiro pulled out one of the few ninjutsu he had managed to learn since becoming a shinobi for tactical purposes, courtesy of Naruto beating his signature technique into his head shortly after he himself had learned it. One clone appeared at his side and rushed at Roshi, prepared to give the man hell as the original Jushiro stayed back and launched his chained weapon at Roshi again.

Roshi cackled until he saw the clone punch the ground with the arm intended for Strong-Arm Alchemy and freeze the resulting earthen spikes with the arm meant for Freezing Alchemy. Jushiro-clone explained itself, "You don't think I'm a threat because I have half of my creator's chakra. The thing about that is; we don't use any fucking chakra! I can do this all day you son of a bitch!"

"**Sneaky brat!**" Roshi yelled as he launched more lava from his mouth at the projectiles, melting them out of the air, "**You'll have to do better than that or you might as well start filling out the headstone of your grave right now! Of course, I could cremate you if you'd like!**"

From the smoke generated by the impact of the two directly opposite temperatures, Jushiro's clone rocketed through with its fist drawn back as it slammed its Strong-Arm fist directly into Roshi's face, dispelling it from the intense heat generated by Roshi's chakra cloak, "Cremate _that_ you fucking fossil!" The give that he felt behind his fist in his clone's memory as he sent the jinchuuriki flying with that one single punch put the original in a good state of mind. When someone was hit with that hard right hand and the Strong-Arm cestus around his fist to boot they didn't really tend to get back up.

But then again, when in doubt he would always ask the most important question he could, 'Would Naruto get up from that?' And after thinking on it he came to a conclusion, 'Oh who am I kidding? Not only would the runt pop right back up he'd spit his teeth at me, grin, and ask me if that was all I had while he called me a pussy.'

And in direct response, Roshi roared and stood back up as his chakra cloak blazed intensely. Jushiro narrowed his eyes at Roshi as he held up his freezing gauntlet, "It's over. Nothing you do is going to beat this move as long as you have no knowledge of alchemy. You're in the middle of my array." Jushiro placed his hand directly on the ground as a transmutation circle at his feet lit up. All around Roshi a multitude of separate circles also lit up and began generating large amounts of ice seemingly instantly that surrounded the old man and quickly moved in towards him.

"**Ice? I'll just melt it all boy! You can't kill me like this!**" He generated lava and hit one of the walls, getting it to hiss and melt before more took its place immediately, "**What?**"

"My ice is already frozen to its absolute coldest levels by the Philosopher's Stone enhancing my power." Jushiro explained as he turned his Freezing Alchemy gauntlet and his Strong-Arm Alchemy cestus back into his two rings, "And my array of circles won't quit producing ice until they all meet at the living conduit at the center, and that would be you old man." Roshi desperately tried to melt all of the ice around him but it kept creeping forward and even formed a ceiling above him, "Now I'm going home. Enjoy being flash-frozen dickhead. And blame your village… and yourself."

Roshi desperately tried to hold the ice off and found the sheer cold surrounding him was enough to break his concentration over his chakra as it faded, and that was his last defense against the ice that eventually encased his body, freezing him solid inside of a thick solid ice structure. Jushiro walked towards the ice structure and reformed his Strong-Arm gauntlet, "Hoso Kouri (Diamond Dust)." He then delivered a crushing haymaker to the structure that caused a thick resounding crack that shattered into countless chunks with Roshi inside. Small flurries of ice flew into the air and blew away.

Letting out a sigh, Jushiro held his torso with one hand and began to limp off towards the rendezvous point, "It's all up to you and the old man Hokage now runt. Get out alive damn it."

XxX

(With Blank)

Blank stood up in the middle of a ripped up landscape only to find the bodies of the Iwa ninja he had been fighting littering the ground. A few of the bodies and even some of the land itself let of random jolts of electricity due to the intensity of the last pair of attacks clashing. Blank tried to gather some electricity only to find it difficult as opposed to the effortless way he had been flinging his attacks around just moments prior, "Well I guess that means I got rid of the rest of my juice… I'm not exploding in a massive overload of my own power today and that means I'm going home."

He started walking in the direction that the rendezvous point would inevitably lie in as he steadily picked up more speed and eventually began to run, not willing to get bogged down and surrounded after all defeating all of the Iwa shinobi he had just managed to fight off, "How the fuck am I going to ask Eiko to marry me without a fucking ring?" He pondered to himself as he continued to leave the country as fast as his body would allow him to.

He had made that promise to himself before he had even gone on this suicide mission, and now it looked as if he was going to make it out alive. He was a man of his word and he was going to ask his beloved sword-toting medic girlfriend of three years to marry him once he saw her again, "Everyone else better get out of this safe… I don't feel like having to find new people to invite to the wedding."

XxX

(Hiruzen vs. Onoki)

"Die Sarutobi!" Onoki shouted at the former Hokage he had firmly in his grasp as he and his enemy hurtled towards the ground at top speed, "It ends tonight! You're not going to see the next sunrise you old fool!"

"If I won't then neither will you." Hiruzen said as he strained against Onoki's grip on him. He was still stronger than his opponent, and the Tsuchikage just wasn't able to keep a grip on him. Hiruzen positioned his body so that Onoki fell slightly faster than he did, and as he found himself slightly above his opponent, Hiruzen grabbed a hold of Onoki from behind, "Now either you right our descent or you're going to be my crash cushion when we hit the ground. Your choice."

There was no way he was going to die like that just because Hiruzen dictated it, but their relationship had always seemed to go that way. For as long as he could remember hearing of the man, Hiruzen Sarutobi dictated everything around him nearly flawlessly. Under him Konoha emerged victorious from two separate wars and had taken its place as the most dominant village in the Elemental Nations, at the expense of Iwa's reputation and countless brave ninja that had been under Onoki's command.

Onoki pulled up just before it would be too late to even out and save them both, and instead of crashing nosedive-style into the ground they slid along the surface until they slammed hard into a prone building, turning the wall they smashed into to rubble.

The battlefield seemed settled as the sounds of the smoldering conflict of the entire night seemed to be the only sound available for listening. Eventually stones from the destroyed wall were flipped over and two figures began to move from the spot.

Hiruzen and Onoki both dashed out from their places and darted over the battlefield as blurs before smashing directly into each other and sending the other flying away, skipping across the ground like a stone on the surface of a lake where they both lay still for another moment.

"I'm too old for this…" Hiruzen wheezed out as he crawled away from the site of his landing spot. He turned to his side and saw Onoki doing the same as him, both moving at a reserved pace along the ground. Despite their best efforts to play it off with the intensity of their battle, both men weren't going to be able to take much more of this. Hiruzen would not have survived the encounter with Orochimaru all of those years ago had Gai and Kakashi not found a way to intervene and assist him by diverting some of the offense away from him.

But he did survive that battle. He went in fully expecting to die. He had only done that one true time prior to Konoha's invasion; the day he was anointed the Nidaime Hokage's predecessor. And he realized that everything he did was to protect the future… Konoha's future, and the future of the boy that never had a true choice as to what he was meant to be; Naruto's future.

He had that feeling again all the way towards Iwa before the operation even began and now he was here. He was stuck directly in the center of the village, the only thing truly keeping the forces from swarming him was the fact that the Tsuchikage had notoriously destructive techniques and the two were fighting too close together for anyone to try any opportune attacks from a distance if they even could in the first place.

Even if he managed to defeat Onoki there was no way he was getting out of the village alive. This was his moment just like his sensei Tobirama Senju before him. Attempting to hold off a force of shinobi he had no chance against all alone so that his 'underlings' could escape.

Onoki got up to his feet and glared over at Hiruzen who did the same, "You will not leave this village today Sarutobi. This was your final mistake."

"Final? Yes." Hiruzen said, wiping some blood from his mouth, "Mistake? No. I would do the same thing if I had another chance to. When it's time it's time, my-. No, _our_ time has passed."

Onoki narrowed his eyes at Hiruzen as he saw his most prolific enemy forming hand-seals, but with a smile of serenity on his face, "You know that you cannot win this battle don't you?" He asked derisively.

Hiruzen stopped his hand-seals with a clap of his hands, holding them together, his smile never leaving his face, "It was never about winning or losing… not this battle. I could never have seen myself just growing old and passing on. I always wanted to go out this way I suppose, I was prepared to three years ago." He said as he could feel an ethereal presence standing behind him.

"Then I'll be happy to end your life for you!" Onoki said as he rushed forward at Sarutobi with his flight technique, set on ending things once and for all with his next move, "Doton: Kajuugan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Aggravated Rock Jutsu)!" He made and held the snake seal as for some reason Hiruzen did not move, 'That fool should know what this jutsu does even if he's never seen it… though it isn't one that anyone in Konoha knows.'

Hiruzen's expression never changed as Onoki grabbed a hold of him firmly and his body began to petrify from the feet upwards, slowly. Even as his body began turning to stone he spoke calmly, "Shiki Fuujin (Dead Demon Consuming Seal)."

"What?" Onoki said as he continued turning Hiruzen to stone, the only thing the man did in response was grab a hold of him as well. Before he could question what he just said or why he was allowing himself to be turned to stone he felt a cold hand reach through his chest. He looked down and saw a ghostly hand inside of his body, "What did you do?"

"Look behind me." Hiruzen said in a calm voice, "Look behind me and you can tell what I've done without me telling you."

Onoki did as instructed and looked up behind his enemy to see the embodiment of the Shinigami hovering behind Hiruzen with his arm reaching through both of them, "What have you done you fool!"

Hiruzen chuckled as he could feel that the lower half of his body was now turned to stone, "If you truly believe me to be your mortal enemy then we now have an eternity to settle our differences inside of the Shinigami's belly. Today it ends with us Onoki…"

"Nothing is over!" Onoki yelled back at him, "This doesn't end with just you or I! You're just being an idealistic fool!"

"Too late to worry about that now." Hiruzen said, allowing his eyes to close, "I'll see you on the other side." With that, the ghostly hand of the Shinigami pulled both of their souls from their bodies as Onoki's mouth flew wide open in a painless, breathless gasp.

Hiruzen's body stopped petrifying by the time the jutsu reached his upper chest. Even if he hadn't managed to finish Onoki off he would have died in this village tonight. The panic created from this and all of the other things that had transpired would allow the others more than enough time to leave and reach the point where they were all meant to meet back up, 'I hope you all live longer lives than even this old man and live by your own ideals the way I've all hoped you would. Each person that came here for Naruto-kun definitely had the Will of Fire in them…' He thought to himself as his eyes shut and the tell-tale sign of the Shiki Fuujin appeared on his petrified stomach.

Onoki slowly fell backwards to the ground with his eyes closed and Hiruzen's head simply drooped forward, most of his body stuck in place by being turned to stone. The eerie quiet of the still battlefield would have felt almost painful to the ears of any bystander that had borne witness to the conflict that had just taken place. Seeing the lifeless body of the Sandaime Tsuchikage laying on the ground would have shocked any of the current ninja of Iwagakure into a stupor, but seeing the partially petrified body of the Sandaime Hokage not too far from him with a serene smile on his face would have seemed completely surreal to any of them.

XxX

(Naruto vs. Han)

Han clapped his hands together and started gathering chakra, "I'll show you right now that without our demonic chakra we're no better than the foolish people that created us! I will not be satisfied until our powers tear these plains apart and force humans to shake in fear at our strength for an eternity!"

There was one problem with that, and Naruto just couldn't touch on it nearly enough for his tastes; he didn't have access to Kyuubi's chakra. All she could do was attempt to advise him when applicable, like now, "**Naruto-kun he's gathering more power than he would need for any ninjutsu! He's going to start calling on his biju's power, get away from him!**"

Naruto didn't have to be told twice as he formed his cloud under his feet and flew back into the air just as Han's furnace exuded massive amounts of steam that encompassed his entire body in what appeared to be solid clouds that began taking a shape, 'Oh… I really don't like this Kyuubi-chan…'

The clouds took the form of a creature three times Naruto's size. A white colored thing with an odd-shaped head, what appeared to be fur on its body that seemed to be horse-like in appearance, and legs that solidified that estimation of its form. Behind it whipped five long white tails as long as the rest of the creature's body.

'Yeah, I really don't like that. Not one bit.' That was Han's transformed state, much like Gaara's partial transformation during the chunin exams. It was like he was fighting Yugito in Kumo all over again, only this time it was for keeps. Wait, it _was_ like fighting Yugito! He didn't use a hint of Kyuubi's chakra during that battle either, but then again Yugito hadn't been aiming to kill him the way Han was here.

"Well that seemed to be a waste at least…" Naruto mused as he tried to think of a battle strategy. He doubted his arm-blade would get enough penetration to cut through to Han himself even if getting close enough to try it was a good idea, "He can't get up here to get me, all he can do is send more steam, right?"

"**Um, actually Naruto-kun you might want to get moving because I remember-.**"

Kyuubi's advice was cut off when Han in his dolphin-horse form started running and jumped into the air, a few of his five tails whipping beneath him just so that they could form a trail of solid steam clouds to come at Naruto directly.

"Really?" Naruto snapped indignantly as he started fleeing through the air as the massive beast started closing the distance, "Does every jinchuuriki except for me have kick-ass super-powers that I can't do? I had to figure out how to fly by myself!" He yelled to no one in particular as he turned his body around in the air and snapped his left-hand's fingers to flicker off a torrent of flames directly at Han that hit him directly, him charging right into the wall of flames.

Before he could even begin to speculate over the amount of damage he had managed to deal out with that move, Han flew right through it looking no worse for wear, "**Burns? You can't burn me in this form Uzumaki! Even doing it in my normal form would have been impressive to say the least!**" He shot his remaining tails at Naruto to try and pick him out of the sky as the battle began turning into a rather one-sided dogfight, "**Fight me properly! Only the power of one monster can match another!**"

"Kyuubi-chan's not a monster!" Naruto roared at him, turning around to try and give the persistent bastard what for, "If you want a fight then you've got me!" He formed a blue orb of chakra in his right hand, intent on slamming it right into Han, "Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere)!"

Naruto's attack wound up smashing through the right side of Han's steam-construct body, but when Naruto finished passing through it he could see that his entire right arm had turned red hot due to the heat of Han's steam. If that had been his real arm…

"**Fool!**" Han yelled as one of his tails reached out and grabbed a close Naruto by his leg. He heard Naruto scream in pain at the intense temperature burning into his limb. He slung Naruto around by the leg before throwing him hard at the ground far below them.

Naruto righted himself in mid-air to put his feet back beneath him and form a cloud to slow his fall and save his life, but a tail from Han smashed into him from above and sent him the rest of the way to the ground. Naruto could feel his warm life-blood trickling down his face from a gash on his head due to hitting the rocky plainsgrounds. Shooting pains came through his nervous system stemming from his leg, and he could feel a sharp jabbing sensation in his ribs every time he tried to get back up. He really hadn't realized before just how much he relied on Kyuubi's ability to patch up any injury he had to get him through a battle. It had been invaluable in every single conflict he had where he had ended up taking damage.

His spirit was willing, and with Kyuubi bolstering it his body had been more than willing to follow him through hell and high water towards victory. But now he only had two-thirds of that equation. He wanted nothing more than to get up and break his foot off in Han's ass somehow. His body was trying as hard as it could to keep up with that line of thinking, but without the healing his body was beginning to crap out on him. It had been a damn long night in the first place, he probably hadn't slept since he realized that Akiza had been taken, and he had been driving himself into the ground to prepare what he felt he needed to attempt getting her back.

With Kyuubi all of this would have been no problem… without Kyuubi his body was still well above-average as far as a shinobi would go, but he was not a living energy conduit any longer until he could get Jiraiya's damned seal off of him, something he couldn't do himself due to his control being shot.

And as Han landed on the ground and started stomping towards him he knew that. Due to his shitty chakra control with the Gogyou Fuuin on his body he couldn't use its remedy, the Gogyou Kaiin to take it off, and out of everyone there the only other person he knew that could have done it was Akiza, and she wasn't conscious. Even if she had been she couldn't even move, let alone form any chakra to use a jutsu of any sort.

So it was up to him. Either gut it out one time without Kyuubi there to patch up his boo-boos that he would get in pretty much every battle for fighting stupid, or he could keep laying there like a jabroni and get himself and Akiza killed by this lunatic, without fanfare, miles away from home or anyone that would give a damn that they died there at Han's hands… or in this case tails.

"**Why do you continue to hold back?**" Han questioned as his four legs walked him closer to Naruto who saw him coming and tried to spring away from him, only to get smashed with another tail, sending him rolling across the ground, "**I will maim you until you choose to let the Kyuubi loose. Do you not care for your own health that much?**" He then noticed Naruto trying to push himself up with his auto-mail arm that stood there in place of an actual limb, "**Evidently not… Which begs the question; what actually **_**would**_** make you care that much Uzumaki, huh? What do I actually have to do to make you realize this is serious and that I want a war with a biju like myself?**"

"Why are you even doing this?" Naruto growled out as he pulled himself into a position on one knee, his bare left arm with an angry looking burn-mark on it from the last attack, "What's the point? Even if you kill me and Akiza-chan nothing's going to change! They'll just treat you the exact same as always! Why fight for them?"

"**Because I choose to.**" Han said simply, "**I could just refuse and fight back and have them take the Gobi from me, and that would end my existence, but where is the fun in that? Where is the challenge, the purpose that all creatures crave?**" He said resolutely as if he truly believed himself right, "**Some wish to protect, others wish to dominate all, while some wish to be simply left alone. I simply wish for myself to know that I am the most powerful, period, bar none. And killing the Kyuubi in battle would be legendary! None would match it! And you will give me that victory Uzumaki!**" He shouted as he swung a tail at Naruto, horizontally and low in an attempt to smash Naruto aside again.

Naruto jumped off of the ground from one knee just high enough to avoid the strike, but he could still feel just how hot the tail was when it passed by beneath him, 'Come on! Move faster! You can beat him!' He yelled at himself, 'Just get close one more good time and he won't know what hit him!'

Easier said than done however, as his leg was still blown out from what Han had done to it while they were still in the air. He had to get creative with how he was going to move towards him large enemy since with only one good leg the skywalker seal would be all kinds of useless to him. His knee had been dislocated. All he needed was a moment's reprieve and he could reset it though, he'd been putting his own injuries in place for years.

Naruto clapped his hands to begin a transmutation and placed them on the ground, causing a sudden protrusion from the rocky earth that shot him forward towards Han again, "I'll just blow that stupid steam right off of you!" He inhaled deeply, expanding his chest despite the pain it caused him to do so. Naruto then punched himself hard in the stomach, "Fuuton: Renkuudan (Wind Release: Drilling Air Bullet)!" A shockwave from his mouth preceded him launching a ball of compressed air at him enemy that hit home directly.

With the speed of the attack itself, coupled with the speed that Naruto had been hurtling through the air with, Han never had a prayer of dodging the jutsu in his large body, and wound up taking the hit right on the head, sending his horse body flying away harshly.

"**Good shot Naruto-kun!**" Kyuubi shouted excitedly. She knew that wouldn't finish anything and so did Naruto, but it bought him the time he needed and at best it would cripple Han's efforts later in the battle.

Naruto fell along the ground as he had been thrown by his alchemic tactic to get close to Han quickly. He rolled to a sitting position and seethed in pain as he grabbed both sides of his injured knee. In an instant he twisted and jerked it back into place, letting out a pained shout for his own efforts, "There… That should do for now." He stood back up and stomped the ground a few times to test the durability of his leg as he glared out where he saw Han land.

"**That can't be all that you have…**" Han said as he rose from the ground, the steam reforming in the area of his head where Naruto's last jutsu nailed him. Naruto could see the clouds reforming over the red armor of Han, putting a gleam in his eye. Now he knew where Han's actual body was. He wasn't even close to being out of this fight yet, "**It seems as if you need some motivation to fight harder.**" Han then turned his head to the side where in the distance the speck that was Akiza's prone body lay.

"Don't you fucking dare." Naruto grounded out threateningly, knowing exactly what the jinchuuriki was implying, "This isn't about her. You said you didn't come here for her, this was just so you could fight me."

"**Yes. I came to fight you.**" Han said with his tails whipping behind his body, "**But clearly you aren't prepared to give me the same courtesy. You aren't fighting me. You belive you can end this without the Kyuubi, either by me losing interest or with you escaping. There is no escape, and now if you don't fight me the right way I'll kill her… and I'll make you watch!**" He shouted as his tails stabbed into the ground cracking the rock with the force, "**Jouton: Kanketsusen Jigoku Kara (Steam Release: Geyser From Hell)**!"

Naruto didn't even need to wonder what the jutsu Han just tried was meant to do. All he needed to know was that it was never meant for him, it was meant for Akiza. If the Gogyou Fuuin was off of him then the fact that she was being targeted would probably have made him instantly tap into Kyuubi's chakra, but it was on him, and he couldn't let any demonic chakra out even if he really wanted to.

Without a second thought, Naruto formed his clouds under his feet and rocketed towards Akiza, scooping her up just in time for the ground beneath her to begin cracking. Right as he grabbed her and flew away, the ground broke and a massive torrent of boiling hot water jettisoned up from under the ground. Naruto looked back at it and then at the girl in his arms and grit his teeth angrily, 'That son of a bitch! She never would have had a chance of surviving that if it had hit her! I'll fucking kill him myself! If he wants a monster I'll show him a monster, and no Kyuubi-chan ain't gonna see a hint of action for this party!'

As he expected, Han didn't take long to follow Naruto as they both headed through the skies once more. He opened his demonic figure mouth and fired off another attack from a distance, "**Jouton: Akuma no Haru (Steam Release: Devil's Spring)****!**" From his mouth rocketed a powerful pump of scalding water that flew directly at Naruto and Akiza.

'He won't touch you.' Naruto thought to himself about Akiza as he dodged the attack again and again as Han kept firing at him. The aerial attack shimmered dangerously in the light of the newly rising sun of the next morning, 'He can't stop me now. I won't let them have you damn it…' As he held her close to him he pulled out a prepared seal tag that he skillfully attached to a kunai as he felt Han getting closer and closer as he drew on more of the Gobi's chakra.

"**Stop running from me Uzumaki!**" Han shouted as he continued his chase, only a few feet behind Naruto, his mouth wide open for one attack as he fired off another torrent of his boiling water.

'He's too close.' Naruto thought as he turned momentarily to throw his kunai coated in wind chakra right through Han's attack. He turned back around and used his body to shield Akiza's body from the water. The scalding hot attack forced his clouds to dissipate and burned the entire back of his body forcing both him and Akiza to fall from the sky.

The kunai actually hit the monster form of Han and sunk deep into its head, however it didn't stop his charge, "**It's over Uzumaki! You were such a disappointment!**" He yelled as he flew towards the falling Naruto and Akiza.

Naruto glared at him as he saw the jinchuuriki incoming and held up a slip of paper with a seal on it. A seal-less Kage Bunshin formed and jumped off of his body, taking the seal tag from his hand and slapping it onto Han's demonic body before it dispelled, "Suck on a chakra suppressing seal you cockbite." Naruto grunted out as he made a half-ram seal.

Before Han even knew what had hit him the thick steam clouds forming his dolphin-horse body fell apart and he lost his concentration over the Gobi's chakra, leaving only his original body remaining, "W-What have you done?"

"It's not what I did." Naruto said as he freed his left gloved hand and held it up towards him, "It's what I'm going to do. *snap*"

Han felt a light stinging sensation in his chest and saw that the kunai Naruto threw had penetrated through his protective demonic form and hit him, piercing his armor and actually hitting him in his actual body. His eyes widened when he realized that Naruto used his Flame Alchemy to ignite the explosive tag he had placed on the kunai discreetly, "No! I never got to test my-!" His words were cut off in a fiery explosion that Naruto had managed to enhance with his alchemy.

Naruto didn't spare the aerial fireball a second glance, choosing instead to cradle Akiza tightly against his body as he righted himself in the air and sparked up his cloud under his feet. As he found it difficult to slow their descent he saw buildings once they passed through the clouds in the sky and he kicked himself, "No… I'm so sorry Akiza-chan…" He continued to try and divert their high momentum from their sheer fall, but all he could do was manage to lessen their impact with the ground, keeping them both alive… for all the good it did them.

As he lay with Akiza close to him he could feel the footsteps of enemy ninja pattering towards them then. He pulled himself against a wall and sat against it, holding her close and shielding her with his blade-arm. Before he knew it he found himself cornered by every enemy shinobi that had been there through the night raid on their village. Vengeful eyes all glared at him as they all had deadly weapons drawn at the ready. He was certain that the reason they hadn't mobbed them and tried to kill them right then and there was because they wanted them alive so that they could suffer beforehand. Fools.

The crowd dispersed and made a hole as Kitsuchi walked through, followed by his daughter Kurotsuchi, both of them glaring murderously at Naruto and the unconscious Akiza, "You're going to pay for this you know. You're going to suffer."

"I know." Naruto said with his head down as he returned his auto-mail arm to normal, choosing instead to embrace Akiza tightly than fight. He didn't say anything else as his eyes were shadowed with his head.

Kitsuchi shook his head at how unafraid he seemed at it all. Didn't he get it? He was going to be tortured endlessly. To the point where he'd beg for death, and it would only come when they said so. Akiza would die in front of him, and he would be an example to the rest of the world to never cross Iwagakure, "So you know what we're going to do with you?"

Naruto shook his head, "No. I wasn't talking about you all making me suffer. I was going to do it to myself." Saying that out loud got looks of confusion from all of the ninja around them until he felt Akiza stir in his arms, "Akiza-chan?"

Kitsuchi pointed to a random shinobi, "Get us cuffs that will keep his chakra suppressed. I need volunteers to move him and her to secure cells for their punishment." He smirked when, as he expected, there was no shortage of volunteers.

Meanwhile, Akiza eventually opened her green eyes and noticed their predicament rather quickly before speaking weakly, "So it's over?" She asked rhetorically, "Did you beat Han?" Naruto nodded and she smiled faintly, "Oh well… Thank you for trying Fullmetal. I'm sorry you felt you had to do this for me."

"You say that like it was your choice for me to come here. I did this myself." Naruto said to her, smiling softly despite his unhealing injuries, "And it's not over yet." He said, frowning immediately after saying such, "Would you love me even if I was a monster?" He asked earnestly, "It's the only thing I can do now to get us out of here. My failsafe."

Akiza nodded, "I would love you no matter what you did Fullmetal. You know you're the only person that I truly care for… and whatever you would do, you just said you would be doing it for me."

Naruto looked into her eyes for a few moments until he heard the calls on the shinobi surrounding them that were ready to pull them apart and separate them again, something he had fought so hard to remedy, "I want you to hold on to me tight. Don't you let go for one moment until I say it's okay. No matter how much it hurts, do you understand?" Akiza nodded and whimpered in pain as she did just as he instructed of her. Naruto then spoke out loud to everyone surrounding them, "You all only have one chance to let us leave. If you don't then I will kill every last one of you right now, and there won't be anything you can do about it."

Kurotsuchi laughed mockingly, "Look at you, you look like death. What could you possibly do to anyone like that?"

Naruto didn't respond to her question, he simply clapped his hands, putting everyone on edge. Naruto just stared at them with cold, lifeless blue eyes, "Last chance. You won't lay a single hand on her ever again, and I'll destroy all of you. Every single person in Iwagakure."

"You're bluffing!" A random shinobi shouted, getting cheers of agreement from all of the others.

Kitsuchi heard every word and looked down at the harmless looking young man, "Then I guess I'll just kill you now if you still have it in you to make threats like that."

Naruto heard the cheers from the people at the prospect of his death and he looked at Akiza, her eyes shut tightly as she held onto him weakly for all that she was worth. Naruto looked up and began his final explanation, "Let me tell all of you one thing about alchemy before you do what you want. Maybe you'll be able to do something with it once I'm dead." That got everyone's attention, as they were curious and fearful of the power that had ripped through their city all night long.

Seeing them all come to a stop he began to explain, "Circles are the foundation of the art. It keeps the power of the transmutation contained and allows one to manipulate it as to what they want out of it. Without a circle there isn't any alchemy… which is why me and Big Boss created shortcuts to help us use alchemy in fights without having to stop and draw circles all over the place. We also use runes and other figures such as more circles in the original main circle to focus the intent of our transmutations, but I never needed a circle. It's like my body itself is a circle."

"So?" Kurotsuchi asked. She really just wanted to kill him after all the havoc that had befallen her home over the last few hours, but alchemy was too powerful to ignore and she knew it.

"I'm a circle." Naruto repeated cryptically before he began to explain, "My body itself is a point to focus a transmutation to. So I could make an unfinished circle and use it as long as I was somewhere inside of it, anywhere inside of it. And I'm inside of one right now."

Kitsuchi had been looking at him since he started crawling against the wall, there wasn't any circle around him, "What circle you brat?"

Naruto answered immediately, "The circle I drew around your entire village the week before I attacked to get Akiza-chan you fucking idiot."

"Liar." Kurotsuchi accused him.

"Take another step and find out." He said to her in response. Both father and daughter did, and Naruto let his hands drop to the ground, palms first, "Goodbye Iwagakure. You all did this to yourselves." He said as a flash of light ran along the ground in a massive pattern that began to encompass an ornate trail through the entire village.

"What did you do?" Kitsuchi yelled at him as on the ground it took the appearance of one massive purple eye opening wide as he felt his lifeforce draining away. Around him his comrades and everyone else in general were dropping like flies, "What's happening?"

"You're dead. That's what's happening. It's Big Fucking Transmutation…" Naruto said as he focused on holding onto Akiza and shutting his eyes tightly. Whatever happened from here on out, at least he had her with him, "Mission accomplished…"

XxX

Jushiro had hooked up with his teammates and Zabuza as they all headed towards the rendezvous point when his Philosopher's Stone fell from his necklace. He stopped abruptly and looked long the ground for it, "Fuck!" He shouted, alerting his team to his plight.

Eiko was the first to turn and see him looking on the ground for his stone, which she found and picked up, staring at it as she walked it back over to Jushiro, "This is the Philosopher's Stone you made when we attacked that Otogakure base isn't it?"

Jushiro took it from her and nodded, "Yeah. You were just holding the physical manifestation of over fifty souls Eiko… you don't want to touch something like this. The more people that fall prey to Big Fucking Transmutation… well this is what you get out of it."

She blinked as he put the stone back into his vest, its job done, "Fifty souls… and we made that circle around Iwa. What would that have done?"

Jushiro shook his head as he walked past her, "Iwa would have well over 60,000 people in it, not counting all of the animals and other living things there. I don't know what that would do. I don't _want_ to know what that would do." He sighed out loud and rubbed his brow, "Let's keep going. We're still not safe yet. The sun being up will just make it harder for us to stay on the move." With that, the ragtag grout set out once more.

XxX

(Hours Later – Iwagakure no Sato)

The feeling of the hot midday sun beating down on his face finally woke Naruto up with a start. He patted himself down to find that he was as alright as he could figure he'd be after everything that happened. As a matter of fact he felt great… other than a few sore spots it was almost as if he hadn't just been fighting a battle all night not a few hours ago Looking around he saw the lifeless bodies of countless people in the streets around him, all dropped on the ground in a heap where they fell.

"It worked…" He muttered darkly as he continued to look around when he finally turned his attention to the tight grip still latched around him. He looked down and saw Akiza still clutching him for dear life, putting a small smile on his face at seeing that at least he hadn't screwed up. She was still alive. The fact that they were still outside told him that the transmutation he had caused had gone through and had taken the life of everyone in the village, "Were you lying?" He asked softly to Akiza as he stroked her hair, "Were you lying when you said you'd love me even if I became a monster? Because there's no way I'm not one now… I have the blood of an entire hidden village on my hands."

"I meant it…" He heard her mutter in his arms as she began to shift around slightly, cracking one eye open. Somehow she no longer seemed to be suffering from the physical effects of the torment of her captors. She seemed as good as new from the way she was smiling so sweetly at him. His angel that he turned himself into a devil for… and he would do it again. "So is it over _now_?" She asked him.

"Yeah." Naruto said, kissing her on the forehead, "It's over." And as far as he was concerned it was. He could deal with whatever fallout he would have to live with due to what he had just done later. Right now he honestly couldn't have cared any less about it. They were clear of anyone trying to stop them from leaving, and she would be just fine.

"**Naruto-kun…**"

Naruto heard Kyuubi speak rather hesitantly in his head directly to him. He couldn't put his finger on it, but she sounded uneasy, 'What's the matter Kyuubi-chan? Are you alright?' He asked her worriedly.

"**Yes… Don't worry I'm fine I was just sleeping after what you did knocked us all out. Nothing's happened to me but…**"

XxX

(Naruto's Mindscape)

In a wide open field, Kyuubi stood looking around herself. It was the same easily manipulatable mindscape that Naruto had given her free reign to change at her own whim, but there was one specific difference.

That difference was the multitude of souls flittering about without physical bodies. Most of them didn't seem to know what had happened yet, but it was only a matter of time before they realized where they were all trapped. And what did this all mean?

"…**But I think you're going to want to get Akiza in gear as fast as you can so she can take the Gogyou Fuuin off of you. Because you really need to come back in here and see this.**" Kyuubi told him, still in abject awe at the sheer amount of souls inside of him.

* * *

**There… finally. For those of you in the know you'd better have realized what just happened. For those of you that are not, you're all going to have to wait until next time to get the idea. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Anyway, until next time folks… hope you enjoyed, hope you continue to enjoy. I'm not sure how many more chapters this will all take to finish, but be assured the end will be here sooner or later... more than likely sooner. And I've still got more up my sleeve.**

**Now, I'm off!**

***Flies away, sitting on the top of a double rainbow with voice trailing in the distance* "Double rainbow! It's so incredible!"**


	64. There Isn't Room In My Head For Us All

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I have a plan however… and it involves a tube of super glue, the world's largest rubber band, and a tall stack of waffles, tasty waffles… because who doesn't love waffles?

Seriously, waffles of the homemade variety are awesome. Who doesn't love waffles?

**Chapter 64: There Isn't Room in My Head For Us All  
**

* * *

"Where the hell are the runt, his girl, and old man Sarutobi?" Jushiro said irritably as he sat inside of the living room of their rendezvous point. He, Blank, Eiko, and Zabuza had made their way from the plains of Tsuchi no Kuni all the way back to the edge of Hi no Kuni, in particular to a small little town that no one living far away would know of if you had asked them the name of the place, "We've been in Resembool for almost a week and a half. How has he not caught up yet? Did he get himself killed?"

Winry walked into the room with a sour look on her face directed at the de facto leader of the whole motley crew that sat in her house, "Wow, way to believe in your little brother Jushiro. How inspirational." She said in a dry tone.

Jushiro grumbled as he slumped impatiently in his seat, "I'm just saying, he's been gone for too long, he should have been the first one of us out of to get here. I mean he can fly." He then blinked and decided to change talking points, "Thanks for putting up with us for a bit until we could all meet up by the way… I'm pretty sure this is putting the squeeze on you and Pinako."

"It's no trouble." Winry insisted before pointing upstairs, "All your teammates do is really sleep, and the guy with the giant sword isn't bad once you get past the scary looking part."

"Zabuza's a teddy bear." Jushiro said, getting a threatening growl from the former Kiri ninja, "And Blank and Eiko… I really don't think that sleeping is what they're doing up there." He saw red tinge Winry's cheeks as she got the gist of what he was saying, "Yeah, why do you think neither of us have tried going up there yet. I don't need to walk in on that."

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato – Hokage Tower)

Naruto had been gone for over a week. He had given the slip to everyone sent after him, as did the group that had gone with him. Of course with Hiruzen Sarutobi being one of them it was not a stretch at all to believe that they completely covered their tracks. Today however, the rest of Team 7 had been called to Tsunade's office for something.

Sasuke didn't know how to feel. Naruto left the village the same way he had years earlier. Granted, Naruto had a better reason for leaving than he did, but he still left without permission. Hell he was explicitly told not to leave and he still went. He never even spoke to any of them, didn't come to him or Sakura once about it. And Sakura had been a wreck since she had found out that he had gotten away. They both entered the office along with a serious Kakashi, all hoping for positive news of some sort.

What they got was a grave looking Jiraiya and a pale Tsunade as she seemed to have something that made her lose the color in her face, "Thank you all for coming here so quickly. News has just come in and I think you of all people would need to hear this before it breaks worldwide and everyone else hears about it."

Kakashi took this moment to speak up, "Obviously this is about Naruto." He got a nod from Tsunade, "Is he still alive?" Going into Iwagakure with only a handful of ninja was a suicide mission, and there was no way he was leaving without the reason that he came in the first place. He either got Akiza out or died trying.

"We… don't know." Tsunade replied honestly.

Sasuke chimed in at this point, "Wait, you don't know? Well what happened, did they capture him?" With his bounty he expected Iwagakure to throw a parade over catching Naruto. If that was the case then he was definitely alive, but not for much longer.

Tsunade shook her head, not knowing how to explain what she knew, "They definitely didn't capture him." The remnants of Team 7 looked at her expectantly waiting on her to explain what happened if he hadn't been captured, "Iwagakure didn't capture Naruto because there is no Iwagakure any longer. There isn't a single living soul in all of Iwa whatsoever."

Jiraiya noted the confused looks on their faces and decided to add his own touch to the explanation, "If you were to head to that village right now you wouldn't find a single living person whatsoever. Whatever happened, Naruto is no longer there, neither is Akiza, and every living person in Iwagakure from the civilians to the Tsuchikage himself is dead. One of the Five Great Shinobi Villages has been eradicated and no one knows how it was done."

Sakura gasped and Sasuke crossed his arms as he tried to take all of this in, "And you're saying that Naruto got away?"

Jiraiya ran a hand through his hair, "I couldn't tell you to be honest. There were signs of battle and everything, but the bodies there just seemed to be sleeping. There weren't any wounds on most of them. In a matter of hours every hidden village in the world will know about this. There's a huge vacuum of power in our society and this is definitely the most important event that has occurred that I can ever think of." His face was seemingly stuck in a perma-frown, "The fact that Naruto seems to be at the center of this isn't too much of a relieving thought."

"Anything could have done it." Tsunade said, directing attention back to herself, "It could have been the Akatsuki, or it could have been Naruto himself…"

Sakura abruptly spoke up, "Naruto can't destroy an entire hidden village!" There was no way that her friend, her teammate could do something like that. An entire village of lives, ended just like that.

Tsunade shook her head to dispute Sakura's argument, "You don't know what I know about the alchemy that Naruto and his brother use. Naruto's brother Jushiro destroyed an entire base of Orochimaru's with his alchemy. Who's to say that there couldn't be more done with it? It's an unexplored art except for the two of them."

"But to have that much power…" Kakashi mused, thinking of just what could have occurred in the fallen hidden village, "What do you think will happen now? There was a balance, and Iwa was important to that balance."

Tsunade had a deep frown on her face, "I can only imagine Kakashi. And what I'm thinking of is very scary."

"We need to find him!" Sasuke suddenly snapped. He was sick of everyone in the room dancing around it, he was sick of everyone avoiding it. Naruto was somewhere out there, if they wanted answers as to just what happened there then he needed to be located, "Send me, send us! I'll head out right now!" He more or less pleaded with the Hokage.

Sakura put a hand on the upset Uchiha's shoulder to try and calm him down, "Sasuke-kun… settle down. Getting upset isn't going to do anything for anyone."

Tsunade thought about it and turned towards Jiraiya, "Do you want to go look for him too?"

Jiraiya shook his head, "I really doubt that Naruto wants to look anywhere near me right now. Remember what I did before he left. If anyone should look it should just be his team."

Tsunade nodded and looked back towards Kakashi, "So do you think you can find him Kakashi?"

Kakashi took a moment to think. Naruto wouldn't stay in Tsuchi no Kuni after what he had done, nor would he come home. Who knew where they boy would go? Add onto the fact that with his flight capabilities Naruto could switch from conserved moving to all-around globetrotting in a heartbeat and it would be the rundown from hell for even the very best tracker-ninja.

But it was still his student.

"Absolutely Hokage-sama." Kakashi said with the utmost confidence. Now that Tsuchi no Kuni was destroyed that land was more or less wide open. Shinobi from all over the world would be all over the countryside before the end of the week. There would be no reason for them to not be there themselves if that were the case, "Iwagakure itself is the best place to start from."

Tsunade nodded, "This will be an S-rank mission. Find Naruto Uzumaki and return him to Konoha."

XxX

"What?" A shadowy figure said as a multitude of astral projections appeared around him. His ripple pattern eyes were locked in a glare due to the news he had just been told, "Repeat yourself if you wouldn't mind Zetsu."

A man with a body surrounded by a venus flytrap opened his mouth to speak before he was cut off by a projection of Deidara, "I flew over the place myself Leader-sama. It's no joke un… Iwagakure is gone and their two jinchuuriki have been killed in battle. Han and Roshi."

This was terrible news to their plans. The Gobi and the Yonbi jinchuuriki were killed. This went along with the Sanbi that had been killed two years prior… and it still hadn't resurfaced yet if it ever even would! And now there were two more in the exact same situation! They only had three biju and three more were gone. Three members of Akatsuki had been defeated to go along with the other problems.

"I want to know what happened." The shadowy Akatsuki leader almost growled out. It was that alchemy. Alchemy had done the job that he had needed all of the biju for. His super weapon to terrorize the villagers, "Itachi, Kisame. The Yonbi was to be your target. You two will head to Iwa and try to find any information of worth that we need to know."

"Yes Leader-sama." The two corresponding shinobi said before their projections phased out of existence followed by all of the others as well.

Left alone with his thoughts, the leader of Akatsuki began speaking to himself, "The power to destroy an entire hidden village leaving no survivors… such a power in the hands of a mortal is a slight against God. A slight against _me_." He finished darkly.

XxX

(Hi no Kuni – Resembool – Rockbell House)

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Jushiro jumped up and sprinted to the door upon hearing the forceful knock and swung the door wide open, immediately tearing into the figure that he saw there, "It's about time you showed up! What the hell happened to you?" He then noticed the stern look on Naruto's face, the lack of Akiza anywhere with him, and more importantly the figure behind him on the porch laying down, covered in pure white sheets. Jushiro took notice of all these things and sighed, "You're a clone aren't you?" The white-haired, red-eyed jounin asked.

"Got it in one Big Boss." Naruto-clone said as the man that had helped take care of him as a little boy stepped outside and shut the door behind him, leaving just them outside by themselves, "There's some things you need to know."

Jushiro couldn't tear his eyes away from the figure with its body covered. He already knew who it was, but the tears pricking at his eyes didn't want to accept that as a fact, "That's… That's the old man isn't it? That's Sarutobi."

Naruto-clone nodded grimly and spoke in what sounded like a hollow voice, "Uh huh… I saw the Shiki Fuujin seal on his belly and the Tsuchikage right there by his body. He used it and took him out."

"Tough old man was better than all of us…" Jushiro muttered, fondly remembering the Sandaime Hokage before switching back to business mode. This was a clone, not the real Naruto. Where the hell was the real Naruto and why wasn't he there? The fear was creeping in his mind, "Where's the runt himself? Don't tell me Akiza-."

"No." The clone immediately said, cutting him off, "Boss got Akiza-chan out of that hell-hole in one piece. That's not why he didn't come here himself Big Boss… it's because he's not coming home. Ever."

Jushiro's eyes snapped wide open at hearing the clone of his little brother say what he had just told him. Naruto wasn't coming back to Konoha? What the hell did that mean? Jushiro took a step forward almost desperately, "He's not coming back? What do you mean he's not coming back? Why isn't he coming back? He got the girl, he kept his head on his shoulders… W-Where else is he supposed to go?"

Naruto-clone shook its head, "Big Boss we messed up." It said, sounding a little distraught and hiding it badly, as if the walls were about to come down, "We messed up bad. The plan worked, even our backup plan."

The shock at hearing that news almost made Jushiro's knees give out. They used the backup plan… that meant-, "You turned Iwa into a Philosopher's Stone!" He exclaimed loudly. He knew that would be the end result but to hear that he had actually gone through with it in order to ensure Akiza's survival was just staggering, "Wow runt… I don't know what to say…"

"Neither do we…" The clone said before turning around and taking a seat on the stairs, seeming to hesitate on what to say next, "Big Boss when you made your stone did you have any extra… luggage in your mind?" Jushiro sat down next to Naruto-clone on the stairs and shook his head no, putting a frown on the clone's face, "Boss didn't think so either… and you said that the stones are made of souls… so that only means-." The clone took on a look of horror.

Jushiro poked the clone in the head, "What? What's wrong?"

Naruto-clone softly whispered out a reply, "Boss was the center of the transmutation and Akiza-chan was touching him."

Due to being one of the only two people in the world who could possibly comprehend what that meant, Jushiro's heart nearly stopped, "He was the center? That means that he-!"

"I'm the stone…" Naruto-clone revealed grimly, "That's why those souls are in my head… and Akiza-chan…" Oh no. Not that, thinking about what Naruto had just done to Akiza made the clone feel physically ill, "Akiza-chan was holding onto me and lived. She's in the same boat as me Big Boss."

Jushiro ran a hand through his white hair, absently reminding himself to check for any grays later. It just never got any simpler with his runt did it? He could only imagine how complicated it was to be Naruto himself, "When you fuck up you certainly don't half-ass it do you runt?" He said in a mock impressed manner, setting a hand on the clone's shoulder, "Congratulations, you and your girlfriend are now the living embodiments of a Philosopher's Stone made of more than 50000 people."

"You don't even know…" Naruto-clone said, "There are some things I need to tell you right now."

_(Flashback – With Naruto – Cave Hideout in Kawa no Kuni)_

_He hadn't stopped moving until he reached the borders of Kawa no Kuni. He wanted to at least put an entire country between himself and the havoc he caused in Iwa. Having to bury an entire village's worth of people that he himself killed would probably never leave him. And now he had finally taken the time to learn just what he had managed to do to himself. This is what Kyuubi wanted him to come into his mind to see._

_The second they stopped moving, Naruto had a swiftly recovered Akiza use the little amount of fuuinjutsu knowledge he had managed to get her out of base necessity to unseal what Jiraiya had done to him, and the second she did he didn't even need to go into his mind to discover what Kyuubi wanted him to know of._

_Souls. Thousands of souls raging inside of his body at how their new fate had transpired and Naruto couldn't make out Kyuubi's voice in the noise._

_Naruto turned towards Akiza, noting her to be quite normal at the moment and chose to speak to her about this, "Akiza-chan do you have any voices in your head right now?"_

_Akiza nodded and tapped her temple, "Always Fullmetal. Sekki Kiritateru has taken hundreds of lives and a lot of the time those lives try to drive me insane during my battles. I told you that." Her face then twisted into a frown, "But right now they're so loud. It must be because I just rebonded with the weapon…"_

"_That's not it." Naruto said, flinching when Akiza's head snapped towards him suddenly, wondering how he knew if he even knew at all, "When I said I'd become a monster in Iwa that was because I'd killed so many people… but there's a new reason now." He hesitantly put a hand on his chest and clutched it tightly, "Now I have the souls of half of Iwa's people inside of me." He ignored Akiza's owlish gaze to finish his statement, "The other half of them are in you."_

_Being told that over 25000 souls were taking up residence inside of your body was to say the least the verbal equivalent of a punch to the stomach. Akiza began hyperventilating until she was able to bite down on her fist to calm herself down. Naruto just solemnly waited for her to do so, eventually occurring several minutes later, "What does this all mean?"_

_Naruto just turned towards her, his blue eyes seeming more hollow than she had ever remembered seeing them in the past, "I need to explain just what a Philosopher's Stone is and does… because both you and I are pretty much Philosopher's Stones now, but I need to go into my mind and find Kyuubi-chan now too."_

"_I'm going too." Akiza insisted, confusing Naruto and forcing her to explain, "I'm so used to having to settle my own mind with my berserk weapon that I can actually do the same for someone else if they let me. We have to be very close though." In more ways than one in this case._

_Naruto just stared at her before finally nodding, letting Akiza do as she wished when she climbed over his lap and sat in between his legs, allowing him to wrap his arms tightly around her, "Whatever this all means Fullmetal we're in this together… because you're all I have." She said, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths with Naruto doing the same, "Now Fullmetal… bare your heart to me." And with that, the waking world was no longer relevant for the moment._

_XxX_

_(Naruto's Mindscape)_

_Naruto stood in an open field with rolling hills all about, impressing the girl with the state his mind was in, "Wow Fullmetal, I've heard of having a beautiful mind but this is amazing. My own doesn't even look like this." She freely admitted, taking time to enjoy the nature. The nature was one of the main reasons she enjoyed living in Konoha so much more than Iwa in the first place._

_Naruto looked around, not seeing any souls like what he had been hearing yet, "I made it this way a long time ago to make my relationship with Kyuubi-chan more cordial. It broke down the wall of sorts that was between us. Now how would I find her here, she's usually right in front of me."_

_Akiza put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, "You have to isolate one soul in particular that you want to find. You never had to do that before because all you've ever had in you was one. I have dozens inside of me. Just think of the Kyuubi and she will appear. It's that simple."_

_Naruto nodded and shut his eyes, focusing on the familiar feeling he had become accustomed to when he was in his mind or using Kyuubi's chakra._

"_Wow… I guess you really do have thousands of souls in you now."_

_He heard Akiza mutter, prompting him to open his eyes, finding himself standing in front of Kyuubi who was smiling at him sadly, "Good to see you up close and personal again Naruto-kun… Unfortunately…" She trailed off and pointed behind him, getting Naruto to turn around and see a massive wave of people, citizens of Iwa, glaring at him from the distance of 100 yards away, "All I had to do was transform into my true form and terrorize them a bit to get them to back off from me. They don't have any weapons or ninjutsu in here to fight with. They're basically powerless."_

_Akiza let out a sigh of relief. That meant that Naruto couldn't be possessed the way she could by the souls in her. The Sekki Kiritateru was their medium with which to do so. Without it when she was awake there was nothing that she couldn't block out. But that meant that if Naruto thought the voices were cumbersome there was no way to make them subside the way she could. That could drive a weaker man insane, "So can you explain what the Philosopher's Stone is all about Fullmetal?" She asked._

_Naruto never took his eyes off of his souls newest inhabitants as he did just that, "The Philosopher's Stone is created by transmuting the souls of living humans, meant to bypass the limits of equivalent exchange set in the basic rules of alchemy. It makes it so that I can do things that would normally be impossible, and turn my more difficult transmutations into something easy since I've already more than paid the price for any transmutation I would or could attempt."_

"_How?" Akiza asked. Kyuubi stayed silent as she already knew. She and Naruto had been over the merits of his ability again and again for years by this point, this was more or less something of a review for her._

_Naruto simply pointed at all of the souls that were still staring in the distance, "I've already paid the price thousands of times over. A human soul is more precious than any earthly thing I could possibly try to use to make any transmutation work. That was the reason that human transmutation was-." Naruto quickly shut his mouth and snapped his eyes over towards Kyuubi._

"_What?" Kyuubi asked him, wondering why her jinchuuriki was more or less staring a hole right through her, "What's the matter Naruto-kun, you were explaining everything to your mate. Why'd you stop?"_

"_Mate?" Akiza said, thrown off by the blunt labelization of her relationship with Naruto._

_Naruto walked up to Kyuubi and grabbed her cheeks, "I can get you out now." He whispered, shocking her into gasping. She gaped like a fish, forcing him to step in and explain, "I can make you an actual body, I can stick your soul into the body itself, and I have all of your chakra. I can just put that into a body too… or I could just let you out."_

_Akiza slapped Naruto on the back of the head, "Stupid! What do you mean you're going to give her all of your chakra? Didn't you say that if you had Kyuubi extracted from you that you would die like Gaara did?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head with a dry look on his face and pointed at the amassed souls that inhabited his body now, "And what exactly does that mean?"_

"_It means that we're immortal." Naruto said bluntly, getting Akiza to step back. Naruto lifted his arms and let them drop limply, "There it is. I was trying to find a way to tell you that we were, but that's the story of it. We're immortal."_

"_How?" Akiza couldn't possibly comprehend this. Everything else she was barely onboard for, but this? One day she was sentenced to death and was waiting to be executed and the next she would now never be able to die? What kind of person could just accept that? It was insane._

_Naruto frowned, "This entire art is a process that was initially undertaken by a man that was backed by Orochimaru; the guy that switches bodies for his 'immortality'. This is obviously why Big Boss's dad kept the information of alchemy from him. That slimy fuck would have sacrificed the first major village he came across in a heartbeat if he had known about this."_

_Kyuubi had been placed in the background of the conversation for long enough, "Hey! You said you could get me out! How in the hell could you ever do that!" She asked him frantically._

_Naruto grinned, "Well I could just rip the damn seal off and that would be that."_

"_Won't that destroy your body too?" Akiza asked before paling, "And mine… since chances are when you do it I'll be right there with you?"_

_Naruto shrugged, "I don't think you're wrapping your head around this whole 'we-can't-die' thing. If my body gets torn apart then it'll just reform out of necessity. If you stab me in the chest I'll live, if you cut my head off I'll just form another one in five seconds… and it'll keep doing that until we run out of souls to use." He put his hand on his chin, "The thing is though that I'd run out of souls way before you would though, if you ever even would."_

_Akiza narrowed her eyes at him, "Then teach me alchemy. And I don't want to hear your shitty 'it would take too much time because it's not your formulative discipline' speech. I don't think time really matters at this point anymore. You already taught me the basic concepts of it, just give me the practical training."_

"_She's right you know." Kyuubi chimed in. If the girl wanted to learn alchemy just so that she didn't have to outlive Naruto for eternity then that was a plus for Akiza in her book._

_Naruto pointed at Kyuubi with a shaky finger, "You be quiet! I can just keep you trapped her you know!" Kyuubi gave him a deadpan look, eventually getting Naruto to drop his finger, "Yeah you're right, I wouldn't do that after all of the stuff we've been through." He let out a chuckle, "Besides, with me being a walking, talking Philosopher's Stone I don't really need all the power that you provide. I couldn't control most of it anyway. I don't need you for the healing either since that's handled too."_

"_I'd like an actual body though…" Kyuubi muttered miserably. Naruto and Akiza looked at her in confusion upon hearing that. Why would the Kyuubi want a body? She was probably the strongest thing walking the planet when she was out and about, "I want to be able to blend and hide. As long as I exist there will be a chance of someone else enslaving me and using me for their own purposes again. It would be impossible to stay out of trouble in my true form."_

_The look on Naruto's face told her that it wouldn't be a problem, "You say that like I don't know what comprises a human body. I'll just pull some things together, the stone that is my body will take care of the rest and you'll have an actual body."_

"_When were you planning to do all of this?" Akiza asked with her hands on her hips. Things were moving pretty fast._

_Naruto smiled over at her, "I've been thinking of how to get Kyuubi-chan out for a while. This is the singularly best way I've ever come up with. I could do this right now if I wanted to, but I have a better idea…" Naruto's face turned rather dark at that, "We're going to Amegakure no Sato as soon as possible."_

"_Why?" Akiza asked. Jiraiya told them both that there were rumors of that place being the true birthplace of the Akatsuki. That meant that if nothing else there were specks of that organization in the area._

"_Because we can't go home and I want to finish this once and for all." Naruto said with nothing but a serious tone in his voice, "And when I take Kyuubi-chan out of my body everyone within 500 miles is going to feel it. We're going to have to fight no matter what. I'm putting an end to this once everything is all ready to go. One way or another it's going to finish."_

(End Flashback)

"-And that's that." Naruto-clone said, turning towards Jushiro with a dead serious look on his face, "Boss isn't coming back, he isn't going to sit and wait for something else to happen. He's going to make his own moves and bring this whole Akatsuki bullshit to a close."

A nod came from the white haired alchemist at the clone's side, "Hey, if you're a Philosopher's Stone then why do you still have auto-mail? Wouldn't your wound have healed by now?"

"Boss doesn't want it to heal." The clone elaborated, rubbing its metal shoulder, "He says he still needs it. He doesn't want to heal it until all of this is over. So he's keeping it attached, making it so that there's no space for any of the souls to automatically heal him."

That made sense. Naruto had been fighting with his auto-mail for too long now to just cast it aside at a time like this. Luxuries like his real flesh and blood arm could wait for a time when the world wasn't in the balance.

Jushiro looked out over the peaceful countryside of Resembool. It made him wonder sometimes why he left the peaceful place all those years ago and decided to help out a kid with a fake right arm.

Oh yeah, because there was just something about the brat that pulled him in and wouldn't let go. Just like with now. He simply didn't feel like letting go. He was his brother; his immortal, super-charged alchemically powered brother.

And that was that.

"So does he have a timetable of when he's going to put all of this stuff to bed?" Jushiro asked the clone, "Because from the sound of things he's sick and tired of everyone in the world's wait and see approach to handling these Akatsuki guys."

Naruto-clone nodded and stared at the metal that comprised its right arm, "Six months." It said with an air of complete and utter finality, "Six months after the day of our attack Boss is going straight to Amegakure and he's going to finish this once and for all."

"By himself?" Jushiro asked incredulously.

The clone shook his head, "No. He left a message once he realized what he was going to do."

Jushiro blinked, "A message? He left a message? Where? To who?"

"To everyone." The clone said, "It's a message to anyone that it matters to. And he left it in the one place that he knew everyone was going to look." He turned towards Jushiro, "He wants Akatsuki to know what he's going to do. He wants them to try and stop him… because they can't touch him now."

XxX

(Two Days Later – Iwagakure no Sato)

The remnants of Team 7 stood on the cliffs overlooking the once great hidden village, staring down at something they couldn't believe. Sasuke couldn't help but put a small smile on his face once he got a good look at it, "Well that certainly explains whether or not he's still alive. It's an obvious yes."

Sakura felt apprehensive as such a brazen statement like the one that Naruto made, "He dead serious about this isn't he? This isn't any kind of joke, he means what he says doesn't he?" She asked, turning towards the jounin of the team, "Kakashi-sensei tell me he isn't serious about this!"

"I can't do that Sakura." Kakashi said, staring down with an unreadable look on his masked face, "There's only one thing for us to do at this point. We can't find him because Pakkun doesn't have his scent, and I don't think Naruto will be making any moves until _that day_."

Sasuke nodded, his usual indifferent look on his face, "Well all that leaves is for us to make sure we're all ready… because there's no way I'm letting that idiot run off and fight a damn war on his own again." He said as he turned around to leave, heading back towards Konoha, "Sakura, we've got to get to work and make sure we're ready for this. Team 7 doesn't fight alone." He said without turning around.

Sakura nodded and began to walk off as well, leaving Kakashi as the last man staring down at the Iwa ruins, "We'll definitely be there Naruto." He said to no one in particular, "I swear it… you can count on us." He let out a laugh, "And the entire world is probably going to be watching. You certainly don't do anything halfway do you?"

"Kakashi-sensei let's go before we run into any trouble!"

The sound of Sakura's voice broke him from his reverie, "I guess we'll see you soon enough Naruto." He said, turning to vacate the area as well.

XxX

Elsewhere a pair of cloaked figures stood on another cliff overlooking the scene, "So are we going to go after them Itachi-san?" Kisame said, grinning in his shark-like manner.

"No we're not Kisame." Itachi said, looking across the great divide at someone that could not see him, nor knew he was even there, "We'll see them in due time…" 'I'll be waiting eagerly to see you one more time little brother.'

XxX

"How interesting Kabuto." Orochimaru said in his slithering fashion as he read the message on the ground below him, "Naruto-kun's got a little more power to him than I thought at first."

Kabuto tilted his glasses up on his face, "Indeed Orochimaru-sama. But what does this mean?"

Orochimaru let out his usual dark laugh as his mind flittered with the possibilities, "It means that very soon most of the thorns in my side will be plucked out dear Kabuto. It makes me want to go and watch the proceedings myself. It's sure to be a grand event."

"Very entertaining indeed Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto agreed with a rather sick grin, "It should be interesting to say the least. I'm intrigued."

XxX

From the air, atop a clay bird, Deidara couldn't help but laugh to himself at what he was flying over, "This is just too much! I mean, this is just outrageous, un!" He stopped laughing long enough to wipe a tear from his eye, "I have to wonder was all of this just to send a message like this though?"

On the ground, taking up a massive scope of what was once the village of Iwagakure no Sato, carved deep into the earth was a simple message that anyone who saw could immediately comprehend.

**6 months: 12. 29**

**Amegakure no Sato**

**Akatsuki**

"I love it!" Deidara exclaimed from his place in the air, "He just called out Leader-sama! I may not be a fan of calligraphy, but even I can appreciate art like this!"

XxX

As Zetsu sank himself back into the ground of the room after delivering the needed information, a shadowy figure walked out onto the cloudy ledge of his massive tower overlooking the entire village of Amegakure.

"So the strongest jinchuuriki is going to stop running and confront me himself is he?" A man with orange hair, an Akatsuki cloak, and piercings all through his face asked rhetorically as five more bodies of varying shape and size, all sharing the same piercings appeared behind him, "I hope you are prepared little jinchuuriki… because on this 'Promised Day' you will have delivered yourself to the hands of God."

* * *

**It was rather short by my standards but I think it conveyed just what was needed to be done here. I wanted to get my point across and not let anything drag on needlessly. At this point what should happen will be clear.  
**

**Alright, we're getting geared up for the end here people. There are still things that need to happen and things I need to explain, but if this lasts more than ten chapters then I'd be surprised. Until the next time folks, Kenchi out. Enjoy your day.**


	65. Paradigm Shift

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. Now stop asking me. Don't make me backhand you with my heavily taped broken right hand. It really hurts, trust me.

**Chapter 65: Paradigm Shift**

* * *

Over the course of six months the world seemed to stand still. It hadn't taken long at all for news of what had occurred in the former Iwagakure to spread like wildfire, and with the identity of the perpetrator of the event already known in all of the other remaining major shinobi nations there were immediately eyes all over the world searching for one Naruto Uzumaki. But after leaving the area of Iwa, or what used to be Iwa, it was impossible to find a trace of him or Akiza anywhere due to his ability to fly not leaving a trail for countless miles of ground covered.

There was just no way to track the wayward pair and it was clear that they were not looking to be found anytime soon by anyone at all, friend or foe alike. Most interested parties, mostly loved ones from Konoha or Suna, gave up in the span of two months and decided to wait. They knew the time and the place where he would inevitably reappear. All that was really left was to be ready.

"I can't believe I'm saying this again…" Jushiro said, sitting in the kitchen of the apartment of his dwelling in Konoha with Haku preparing a meal nearby, "…But I totally miss the runt. I can't believe he really left and said he isn't coming back either."

He was supposed to be the one that wound up leaving Konoha once his tenure as a shinobi was over. He was supposed to take Haku with him once he got roaming rights, head up back towards Resembool far away from Zabuza's insane father-in-law shtick and anyone that would want him to go out doing shinobi stuff and just dodder around blacksmithing for as long as he wanted. Maybe roll back into the village every now and again to check up on Naruto and abuse his younger brother's power as a high-level badass shinobi and make fun of his alchemic research while subtly stealing his ideas.

Now he was in the village and the apartment hadn't seemed so empty even when Naruto had been away on his trip with Jiraiya. At least then he knew that the kid was coming back, well it wasn't like that this time.

Haku frowned at the thought herself. From the very beginning she rather liked Naruto and had taken to him like an older sister since she began her relationship with Jushiro years back, and she absolutely adored the fact that upon his return he had brought someone like Akiza with him. Now they were both gone in a matter of months again, this time for good if what Jushiro was told was to be taken seriously. And how couldn't it be? The events that preceded it were far too grave to not do so and Naruto had no reason to lie to him. If he sent a clone all that way to lie he could have just left Sarutobi's body and dispelled without saying a word.

"It's almost time you know." Haku said, stopping what she was doing to turn towards the white-haired young man at the table, "Just a few more weeks until when Naruto-kun said he was going to Amegakure. Are you going to go?"

Jushiro let out a sigh as he sank his head down onto the table, "If I leave then everyone's going to want to follow me." He then turned his red eyes up to Haku, "…Probably even you too." She did not dispute his claim, only pasting a serene looking smile on her face, "But there's probably going to be tons of people dispatched anyway, and I'll be damned if I'm getting left behind like that. I need to talk to the brat again, and if the only time I'll get a chance is in Ame then I'll definitely go."

Haku frowned and walked over behind Jushiro's chair before reaching down and hugging him from behind, "It's not just that you miss him… you're afraid aren't you?" She could feel him tense up after her question, giving her the answer she needed right there, "It's not a bad thing to admit it you know."

Damn, why was Haku able to make him emote like this? He was supposed to be the one that walked the fine line that separated good-natured from jerk-ass. But then again that was probably why he loved her so much in the first place.

"He's a Philosopher's Stone…" Jushiro said, shaking his head incredulously as Haku continued to hug him, "I know I don't ever really explain just what the big deal about that is except for the people it takes to make one but… each stone has so many souls in it. He made one out of an entire village of people. That means that all of those souls are a part of him. What if he can't keep his sanity or what if he isn't the dominant personality out of all of them?"

There was a chance that Naruto wasn't the one in control of what was supposed to be his own body anymore. He had seemed fine when his clone returned Sarutobi's body, no chance in hell an Iwa soul would have done such a thing, but six months was more than enough time for something terrible to happen. How in the world would Naruto stay dominant with all of the powerful shinobi in Iwagakure stuck in his body raging like a storm? He believed in Naruto's will, but there was a breaking point for everything.

He wasn't even considering the same happening with Akiza. He had enough problems in his head thinking about just Naruto losing control, and he was the one that actually knew what he had gotten himself into and exactly what was happening. Akiza was probably terrified if she herself didn't find herself lost as well. What if they didn't even appear like he said he would? And why would he even put such a thing out there for everyone to see in the first place? Wouldn't a sneak attack be the preferred alternative?

Maybe he was just tired?

Either way it was his job to be there and do what he could, if there was anything he could do at all.

"Do you really believe that your brother is that weak to lose control of his own body?" Haku asked inquisitively, murmuring quietly into the back of Jushiro's hair.

No. He'd fight for control until the very end no matter what. Even if he had to miss his own deadline. Maybe that was why he wanted six months? So that he could try to settle up with the souls in his body. How he was going to quell tens of thousands of angry Iwagakure souls that wanted his head was anyone's guess.

"There's no way the runt is going to lose control of anything." Jushiro said resolutely as he rubbed the arms of the girl currently wrapped around his neck, "I'll go to Ame myself and whatever happens, when it's all over and done with I'll punch him in the stomach and let him run off to wherever or take him back home or whatever he's going to do at that point." He then looked pointedly at Haku, "And you're _not_ going."

Haku let go of him and gazed at him with a sheepish look on her face, something that would have thrown Jushiro off because he expected her to put up a fight over not going. He was fully expecting her to not feed him that night because of him telling her not to go, "Is it because of the baby?" She said in an obvious manner as if she already knew the answer before realizing just what she said with a shocked appearance making its way forward.

This got Jushiro to perk up in interest, forgetting temporarily about his woes with his brother, "Wait, what? What baby?" He turned around in his seat to see Haku no longer standing there as she had taken her place back at the counter to prepare the rest of the meal for that night, "H-Haku-chan, what baby are you talking about?" He said with a slight nervous stutter.

"…The baby I was going to tell you about after you got back from Ame…" She mumbled quietly with a red face that he couldn't see, "…The baby that belongs to you." She expected an explosion of some sort out of sheer shock value but after around a minute of silence with no other sound than Haku cutting up ingredients she started to wonder. Then she heard a chair's legs slide out prior to the sound of a dull thud hitting the floor, "And I can see that you're just stunned speechless."

And indeed he was. Because he was out cold on the floor.

Well at least he was the first besides herself to know. Zabuza would probably kill Jushiro if he found out anytime soon.

XxX

Tsunade sat sternly in her office staring at her old teammate and closest friend with a serious look on her face, "Jiraiya you're not going to Ame on this mission. There's no way I can let you. Naruto would probably kill you the moment he saw you." It definitely wouldn't be a joyous reunion that was for sure.

"You can't stop me Tsunade-hime." Jiraiya said resolutely, confident in that fact but equally as serious as her, "You know as well as I do that I could get out of the village and disappear just like that."

"Then what would make you any different from Naruto in the first place?" Tsunade asked in return, "Why did we try to stop him from leaving the village back when Akiza had been taken if you could just decide to go on your own to try and get him? You haven't been able to pick up hide nor hair of him in six months. He's not your average missing-nin, he's got the power to snuff out a hidden village in one night." Everyone assumed that it had taken one night because of the fact that the only people that knew what had happened were those that went with Naruto to do the deed, and per Hiruzen's last request before leaving to join them the knowledge of that night would never go any further.

Jiraiya still couldn't believe that the kid did that. But in return he probably would have done the same if he had been able to and Tsunade had wound up captured in the past in a similar manner. He still believed that he had done the right thing in stopping him, but it proved moot when Naruto got out anyway and proceeded to not only free Akiza but to destroy all of Iwagakure.

And to think, decades of thousands of people that wanted to do the same and the one that actually pulled it off probably cared the least about the existence of that village one way or the other… at least until they had screwed up and stepped on the wrong side of his line.

"I want to see him…" Jiraiya said lowly, "He was supposed to be my godkid, I was supposed to look out for him and try to guide him, and now he's disappeared off of the face of the planet." He wanted Naruto to end up legendary like Minato and he knew that he had it in him, but for something like this… he was the most famous figure in the shinobi world after what he pulled six months ago.

He pretty much took what Minato did to Iwagakure years ago to a more complete level. Not quite the legacy he wanted Naruto to be able to carry on, but then again Naruto had never seemed to really want to carry on anything for Minato even if he was proud to be the man's son. He didn't really care for finishing the Rasengan, instead choosing to work on his alchemy to make his own name with his own abilities.

Tsunade could see why Jiraiya would want to go so badly, and she was already going to allow Team 7 and Jushiro to go to Amegakure. Maybe one more team captain besides Kakashi would work out, "If you'll be objective then you can head out with Kakashi's group when they go to Ame to observe exactly what's going to happen."

They had been training for a fight, all of them, and it would be insane to say that any of them would be objective and would stay out of the way to keep the mission as just information gathering. It was something she had to say though as the Hokage even though she knew they would fight. Sasuke, Kakashi, and Jushiro were especially chomping at the bit to get to Ame. Once they got there and the fireworks began, because of course something would happen, they would jump headlong into whatever situation awaited them upon discovering Naruto's involvement.

XxX

"Are we almost there yet?" Akiza asked Naruto as they flew through the air on his artificially constructed cloud, "Do you even know where we're going in the first place to take us to Ame?" She asked as she kept herself attached to Naruto's back while they flew since she couldn't stand on the cloud. She had on a grey cloak that had the hood pulled down instead of on her head revealing that she still had her brown hair tied back in a ponytail with her bangs framing her face. She no longer had a hitae-ate on her forehead and neither did Naruto.

"Of course I know where I'm going. I found out where Ame was back before you found me during my training period a few years ago." Naruto replied, wearing his black button-up shirt and pants underneath his red cloak that stood closed at the moment, "Just calm down. I thought I was all fired up for this, or are you that anxious to fight?"

"You've been slave-driving me for six months Fullmetal." Akiza said, getting herself closer to her lover as she rode along with him, "Keeping us hidden up in those stupid islands for so long. I only saw one fisherman and a whale the entire time we were training. That's the only intelligent life I've seen in months."

Naruto blinked his blue eyes that actually seemed tired for once instead of the usual exuberance one would have found normal for him, "Hey, what about me?"

A smirk came to Akiza's face as she responded, "Like I said, that was the only intelligent life I've seen in months."

"I'll drop you just so you know."

"Bullshit."

"You'll live."

"…So?"

"Enjoy your fall."

"Fullmetal!" Akiza shrieked, holding onto Naruto tighter than before so that he didn't try to make good on his threat to drop her. Hearing him chuckle and feeling the vibration through his back got her to nuzzle against the back of his neck. He hadn't actually laughed in a good-natured manner since he had saved her from Iwa.

He still hated what he had done to her, turning her into a living Philosopher's Stone and making her more or less immortal just like him, but she didn't care. Even when it came to all of the souls within her she had to routinely keep settled it didn't matter to her. Dealing with Sekki Kiritateru's spirits plaguing her mind and dreams for almost a decade made her an old hand at handling unruly souls. With the Kyuubi inside of Naruto to direct traffic and his own efforts through meditation to retain control over him will Naruto was doing well himself.

Like she had told herself before; she didn't really care about what happened to them as long as she had him. He was the only one that kept her calm and happy, the only person that truly cared for her. And she was going to make sure that whatever business he had with Akatsuki drew to an end in Amegakure.

"So you're really going to pull this crap once we get there?" Akiza asked him tentatively, burying her face into the back of his hair to muffle herself in case she sounded worried, "And you're sure you can survive it? It won't render your stone inert right?"

It was obvious to Naruto that Akiza was still concerned with his plan, but he had made a promise to someone else that he fully intended to keep. The fact that he would be taking down Akatsuki with the same move was a bonus. It wasn't so much a plan as it was him taking advantage of the side-effect of the promise he was going to keep.

So he had six months to figure out exactly what his limitations on his alchemy happened to be.

And what he had discovered terrified him. His simplest attacks were magnified many times over without him even trying. There was no true equivalent exchange for his techniques any longer. Everything was bigger, badder, and ensured loss of life once he used it.

Perfect for a group of people whose well-being he couldn't care any less for.

Akiza had pretty much finished picking up alchemy enough to use it while fighting. Of course it didn't hurt that she didn't need to come to terms with the equivalent exchange aspect of the art, still he tried to beat it into her head to do it right lest she waste her stone's energy and wind up dying prematurely for no reason. She fought with her alchemy the way he used to as a beginner which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but she was still more partial to her own style of combat because it felt more natural to her.

"I can definitely survive it." Naruto said with full confidence to Akiza to assuage her fears as he rubbed one of her thighs that were wrapped around him from behind, "I have tons of power in the stone to keep me alive once Kyuubi-chan's chakra and soul leaves me. When her chakra releases those bastards will all come running right towards it thinking that she's in her normal biju form. She can control her power intelligently once I give her an actual body to use. She won't be easy to capture this time."

A smile came to Akiza's face as she gave Naruto a kiss on the back of the neck, "Of course she won't. We'll be there, but do you think we can actually pull this off?"

Naruto rolled his eyes at her question, "They don't know what they're dealing with this time Akiza-chan, it's not as simple as trying to capture me. And we're not going to be showing up alone. Do you really think Big Boss isn't going to be showing up to play too?" And with him would come plenty more, he just knew it, "They can throw all of the members they have left at us at once. It won't matter, it'll be fine I promise."

"Just like you promised that you'd find something that would make me happy for as long as I decided to go with you?" Akiza said as she shut her eyes and enjoyed the ride.

Naruto chuckled and tried to look back at her as best he could from where she was on his back, "Oh yeah, I did say that didn't I? Well did I wind up doing that? I'm asking because life for us kind of sucks right now. I made you immortal… we've got tons of people after us… things aren't good."

"No they're not." Akiza admitted freely, "But you said things wouldn't be easy with you when I first started travelling with you, and as long as I've got you I'll be fine with whatever. You aren't planning on ditching me are you?" She asked with some mock suspicion, "Because I'll just find you again. I've got forever to do it."

"There's no way I'd ever ditch you." Naruto said as the continued to fly on his cloud, "Not now, not after this is all over, not ever. You know I love you." Of course she knew. He had proven it by marching straight into Iwagakure to free her and she knew that he'd do it all over again right at that day if he had to.

And the way he fought for her she'd fight for him just as fiercely anytime. He took on an entire village for her at the drop of a hat, all she had to do in return for him was fight six other Akatsuki members with his help and the help of others that would inevitably come to ensure his safety.

Easy right?

"Yeah I know you do Fullmetal." Akiza said with a yawn as the flight was starting to get to her after travelling for so many hours, "Wake me up when we get there… the fun way please." She said with a small grin on her face.

XxX

(Days Later – Konohagakure no Sato)

Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura, Jushiro, and Jiraiya stood ready at the exit of the village with the trail that would lead towards Amegakure, "Is everyone ready to go?" Jiraiya said, ready to get a move on towards their destination.

"I don't know why you're going in the first place." Jushiro said as he shifted his travel pack on his back irritably, "The runt's going to kick your ass the second he gets a good look at you. You really don't think he's not going to try to get you back for holding him back from getting Akiza? I'm pissed off at you and it wasn't even my girlfriend."

"He's my responsibility too kid." Jiraiya said gruffly to the alchemy-wielding jounin, "I need to find him and make sure he's alright."

"Well you did a fucking fantastic job Mr. Responsible." Jushiro said in a sniping manner, "Because now he's immortal with thousands of souls stuck inside of him, and he's the most feared figure in the entire world."

Jiraiya wasn't exactly flattered by what he was hearing and let Jushiro know it when he got right in the red-eyed young man's face as he somewhat towered over him, "And what about you? He's your 'brother' right? Way to have his back in the end when he really needed it!"

"Don't you give me that crap! I had his back the whole way, from the day I met him, and I'll always have his back!" Jushiro yelled at the powerful Konoha legend, not backing down and not caring about the possible consequences, "You were supposed to be his sensei, his godfather, and you hid everything from him! You never let him get a little bit of information even though you had it all! He had to fight his dead mother to even get you to tell him about his family that you knew personally! I'd walk right back into another hidden village for him and raze it to the ground just like Iwa if he needed me to! Maybe if you stepped up and helped him yourself Sarutobi wouldn't have died and the brat and his girl wouldn't be in the mess they're in! Maybe they'd be home! Maybe my future kid would actually have an uncle and aunt!"

Kakashi stepped in and broke them apart before they could come to blows, choosing to hold Jiraiya back while Sasuke attempted to do the same with Jushiro, "Everyone needs to calm down and get their heads together. What good is any of this going to do in the end when we're supposed to be working together?"

Jushiro got Sasuke to stop giving him distance from Jiraiya but didn't let up, pointing at the man and continuing his tirade, "No wait a minute Kakashi because I'm not done yet and I'll be damned if he doesn't hear this! I'm still pissed at you! I'm upset that I had to raise that kid all by himself when I was just a brat myself and you _knew_ he existed and you _knew_ he was your student's kid! That's messed up, I'm not saying to take him off of my hands because I wouldn't have let you but come on! At least let him know you exist!"

"I was working brat!" Jiraiya yelled back at him, "You really think that your fresh out of diapers ass could have handled the group of S-rank missing ninja that were preparing to come for him? I don't even think you can stand against one of them now let alone back when you were a runt yourself!"

But Jushiro wasn't done yet, as he proceeded to continue onward with his angry rant, "And then six years after he actually needed you, you take him on this big world trip to bond and to train him, but you didn't try to get to know him at all or else you would have understood why he went after Akiza and you would have helped! So you can call me bitter and you can say whatever you want, but as far as I'm concerned I'm his real family, I'm closer to the real thing than you'll ever be! Now you drag that with the rest of your guilty conscience to Ame!"

With his bit being spoken, Jushiro started to stomp off in the direction of Amegakure without even turning his head to look at Jiraiya again. He had nothing more to say to the man and he had been less than thrilled to say the least when he had suddenly been interjected into Jushiro and Team 7's mission, last minute without anyone's prior knowledge as usual. Just another thing that rubbed Jushiro the wrong way to pile on top of everything else, the way he just threw himself into an operation that Team 7 and himself had been preparing six long months for just because he was an important figure.

Jiraiya glared at Jushiro's back but it was clear that the younger man couldn't care any less about anything Jiraiya thought. Just so long as the old toad sage didn't botch this mission by doing something stupid. Heavy combat was more than expected and bringing Naruto home was not a mission parameter, the objective was merely to observe and jump in to assist him if it was prudent towards his health to do so but anyone with half a brain would know that they were going to step in regardless.

With the situation momentarily diffused and with Sakura grateful that she wouldn't need to heal anyone before they even got themselves further than a mile from the front gate, Team 7 and Jiraiya set out to follow Jushiro and catch up to him, but the tension was still thick. Jiraiya definitely felt like the odd man out in the equation, but that was to be expected. The others had been preparing for this, probably all together in some capacity, for half a year. He just decided that once he learned of the mission he would be going along. Even without all of the other personal matters that were involved that by itself would throw the entire thing completely out of whack.

"For the love of… ugh. I swear this is going to be the longest trip…" Sakura mumbled to herself as she fell into step with the rest of Team 7 and watched Jiraiya in front of them keep a glare on Jushiro who was still further ahead. She really wished the two of them would get their heads out of their asses and save their little issues for when lives weren't potentially at stake, "I'm actually looking forward to the fighting part if this is what we have to look forward to beforehand."

Sasuke grunted out a noise of agreement before he decided to speak, "Don't worry about it, we'll be there soon enough. Hopefully we'll find the jerk in one piece so I can ask him some questions before all hell breaks loose." Seriously, did Naruto have to let _everyone_ know he was coming to Amegakure or was burning a possibly _encrypted_ message into the face of the earth just too much to ask for in this instance?

Kakashi's normal lazy looking appearance belied just how on edge he really was about the entire mission. He still hadn't come through on his promise to make things up for Naruto over the whole chunin exams episode years back. And aside from that he wanted to see if he was keeping well. Despite what was circulating around the world as news and gossip it was inconceivable to them that Naruto was a danger to the entire world the way things seemed to be shaking out to make him to be. Even the rest of Konoha that had begun to accept him after the invasion of Konoha fell back into old habits of doubting and mistrusting him after news of his destruction of Iwagakure broke.

Never within earshot of Jushiro of course as the notorious hothead had been on pins and needles enough over the last six months due to being seemingly the only person in the village that truly grasped and could explain just what Naruto had done in Iwa despite his refusal to talk about the incident at all, but it was still heard enough to be acknowledged by all of them.

"So are you going to tell us what happened at last on that run to Iwa?" Kakashi asked once they had caught up to Jushiro, "You've been upset over whatever it was for months but you won't talk to anyone about it except for the people that went on the mission and Haku."

Jushiro let out a humorless laugh, "It's not really something that's easy to say you know, mostly because it's my fault. It would never have happened if I hadn't taught him alchemy in the first place. Trust me, that's a real kick in the stones to come to terms with." He had first taught Naruto alchemy to help him become a ninja and also as a way for the two of them to bond. He never thought it would turn to something like it did, but then again he never thought he would wind up making a Philosopher's Stone either.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow after Jushiro's humorless laugh, "We keep asking you about it and you never tell us anything, but that's all you ever say. What does that mean?"

Being blunt was probably the best way to explain the situation, "The runt used human transmutation to take out all of Iwa when they had him and Akiza cornered. It was our last resort in case the plan was a bust to get out. It took all of the souls in Iwa and stuck them inside of his body and her body. Now they're immortal and supercharged beyond belief." Jushiro said abruptly without trying to sugarcoat it, "Does that clear it all up for you?" He asked, looking at all of their shocked faces.

The group stopped moving and just stared at him, frozen and with stunned looks on their faces, "W-What?" Sakura said, finally finding her voice.

"Yeah." Jushiro said, "I didn't find it out for years but apparently when Orochimaru hit my old man up for his knowledge of alchemy he was actually on to something with the immortality. I completed the research after Naruto left and was angry enough to use it once, but not on the scale that my little brother did. I took around fifty or so, he took tens of thousands."

"Why in the hell did you teach him something like that?" Jiraiya demanded to know. That was something more than a powerful ninjutsu, it was just unnatural.

"Because he's my brother and he was my equal as an alchemist!" Jushiro yelled back, not backing down once again no matter who Jiraiya thought he was, "And I didn't teach him anything! We talked about it back and forth all the time in letters while he was gone setting up shop in Resembool where you left him for six months. He helped me with the breakthrough, I shared it with him, it was just like that. But now he's stronger than me, way stronger. He's stronger than you too, stronger than all of you mostly because you can't kill him. I'd say that a kage can't even beat him now because the only way to really beat him is to seal him away somehow, and you taught him enough about that so he'd never fall into any kind of sealing trap."

Sasuke's brow twitched unnoticeably to most, "So you're saying that he's unbeatable?" Friend or not he was still Naruto's rival, but at least if they ever sparred again he wouldn't have to hold back lest one of them die. That was something good he supposed in case they ever fought again.

"Unless you think you can kill him twenty-five thousand times, then in a straight fight yes." Jushiro said cheekily, noticing Sasuke's ire raise slightly at the thought of being surpassed so far. As far as he knew both he and Naruto were even upon his return to Konoha and now Naruto had stumbled upon immortality. Despite how amusing Sasuke's reaction was, Jushiro's mood sobered back up, "But it's not all well and good. It's a curse and we both know it and he did it to Akiza too. He's probably been beating himself up for months."

Hopefully she could keep his head screwed on right. That girl adored him and wouldn't let him drive himself up the wall with guilt since the entire reason for his turning them into walking Philosopher's Stones was all for her.

That aside, Jushiro decided to keep explaining, "Right now they're walking human weapons and Naruto is taking advantage of that to just go ahead and finish off Akatsuki right now if he can. He's at least ten times stronger than he was before, at least and I'm not even talking about the immortality part."

"Itachi will definitely be there…" Sasuke muttered lowly, "That's what I'm most worried about right now." It was time once and for all for him to put an end to his little episode with his brother. At least this was another good thing to come out of everything that had happened, as far as Sasuke was concerned anyway, because Itachi wouldn't need to be hunted down, he'd be well within reaching distance at long last.

"Well let's go then." Kakashi said, taking the lead as it was supposed to be his team to lead in the first place, "We've got a two day trip ahead of us and then we still have to find Naruto before something happens. He was never exactly the type to wait." And with that they were off.

XxX

(Some Time Later – Outside of Amegakure no Sato)

Akiza and Naruto had been flying above the clouds until they located a small building in a wide open area outside of Amegakure. The complete lack of anything around on the waterlogged plains made it useful as a hideaway for the pair of them as they prepared for their eventual move for the final encounter. Clones posted at windows could see anything coming from miles away and it was cover from the rain, the dilapidated state of the building notwithstanding.

Speaking of the building itself, inside of it there seemed to be quite a bit of explosive damage that tore a hole in the wall and a part of the ceiling that let the elements inside. There was quite a bit of overgrowth inside signifying that it had been abandoned for years. It seemed to be a place where people used to live until it was abandoned and blown up, and the trio of little frog planks on a mantleplace seemed kind of childish, but who were they to make remarks on a part of the house when no one even lived there anymore?

Either way it was a port in the coming storm and the perfect place to sit and hide for the time being until the preparations for their attack were complete.

"You done yet?" Akiza asked, the hood of her grey cloak pulled over her head so that none of the rain that oftentimes fell into the hideout got her too soaked. She officially hated Amegakure's climate with a passionate vengeance and would be crossing that country off of places to leisurely visit in the future, just like Kaze no Kuni for crappy climate purposes, "I want to get this show on the road so I can forget about being all cold and wet all the time."

"You don't like it here?" Naruto said with a grin, his hood not even up to try and protect himself from the rain as he was steadily at work drawing a specific transmutation circle on the building's floor in a well thought out and careful manner. This was not the time to screw anything up due to being anxious. He literally had all the time in the world.

Akiza blew a bang out of her face and gave Naruto a dry look from underneath her hood, "No I love being rained on for days at a time. It's so gloomy here Fullmetal. It completely sucks."

Rain poured down Naruto's head, matting his normally spiky locks down as he ignored it and continued to work before turning his blue orbs over to his girlfriend who was sitting off to the side, watching and waiting patiently, "Well how about once all this is over I take you somewhere nice? No more darting around from place to place like we were before. I've got the perfect place where no one'll ever look for us. Nobody that would want a piece of us would ever try to chase us there."

"You have somewhere that good?" Akiza responded, a grin slowly forming on her face as well, "There's nowhere we can go where someone won't find us and know who you are. That's why we moved so much in the first place. Where could you possibly take us after all of this is over with and done? I'd love to hear what you've got for me on that front."

"It's good, I promise." Naruto said, taking a short reprieve from the drawing of his transmutation circle, "You'll definitely like it. It's probably the only place in the world you haven't been yet, and it's the nicest place I've ever been to. I always wanted to go back… it's kind of a special place."

Akiza tilted her head curiously, "Special like the place on the Hokage Monument used to be?" She asked him.

Naruto shook his head in return as he walked over to her and sat down, "No. That place was kind of an escape back when I was a kid. This place I'm talking about now is special for real reasons. It's a good place to be if it weren't so hard to get to, but I can fly so who cares about that?" He put an arm around her shoulder and she got closer to him comfortably, "It'll be great. It's really peaceful."

She set her hooded head against him and tried to ignore the rain the way he seemed to be able to, shutting her eyes to try and rest up a bit, "Peaceful. That sounds good. I mean I don't know how _you'll_ deal with not getting to fight every day you stir-crazy jerk, but for someone as easygoing as me it should be wonderful." She let out a slight laugh at the playful jab she had just given, "I'm kind of sick of fighting anyway. Taking orders and all of that crap…"

"The most dangerous man in the world doesn't take orders." Naruto said in joking reference to himself and what they had discovered he was being called by others in places all over, "And his girlfriend doesn't either. You don't ever have to fight again if you don't want to, all we have to do is just one more thing and we're done."

One of Akiza's eyes cracked open as she looked at Naruto, "Two more things. The fight is just the second part… if you even survive the first part." She felt Naruto pull her hood back and give her a peck on the forehead where her hitae-ate used to sit, "But then again you can't die, or so you say." She finished as she pulled the hood of Naruto's red cloak up over his head to cover his head.

"You scared?" Naruto asked her as he heard the tone she was using. It could have been taken as pessimistic or as a form of realism, but what exactly did logic have to do with what had happened to them thus far.

"Been scared for months." Akiza admitted calmly. There wasn't any point in hiding it from him. He already knew, and if he really pressed her about it she would tell him anyway, "All of this stuff is so new, I still can't believe some of it. It's like some crazy dream. Maybe I died in Iwa and this is just what eternity is supposed to be like after you go, you know?"

Naruto looked at her and decided to relax with her for a bit to enjoy the last dregs of calm that they would get for quite a while after the ruckus began, "Well if it is then do you think it's the good part or the bad part of eternity?"

A smile pulled at Akiza's mouth before she leaned and kissed Naruto on the lips, "I don't know yet. It depends on the outcome of the fight. Just don't go and get yourself killed Fullmetal, I'll try and do the same." She placed a finger to his mouth before he immediately responded in the manner she had been anticipating, "And don't give me that 'we can't die' crap."

There was nothing said between them after that. They just sat in the silence, only listening to the rain as they waited for the right time to begin their engagement against Akatsuki. Once it began it would be coming hard.

XxX

(Outskirts of Amegakure no Sato)

Jushiro's matted down white locks dripped water down into his face making him more irritable than usual with all things considered, "Ame… what a dump." He said as he, Team 7, and Jiraiya stood on a cliff face overlooking the massive lake that separated the highrise village from the rest of the mainland, "Well he's not in there wherever he is."

"Agreed." Kakashi said in complete agreement, "If he was then the fireworks would have started by now. He had to have beaten us here by a considerably decent margin." He looked over at Sasuke and Sakura, both of them wearing grey ponchos to protect themselves from the rain, "Are you all ready to move?"

Both Sasuke and Sakura nodded before the pink-haired medic-nin voiced her thought on something, "Are you sure it was a good idea to let Jiraiya-sama go off on his own once we got here?" Once they had gotten close to their current location Jiraiya had split off from the rest of them with nary a word.

"We were about to split up so it doesn't matter anyway Sakura." Sasuke said as a manner of trying to get thoughts off of Jiraiya. There were more important things to worry about at the moment now that they were in no man's land, "He can take care of himself." As he said this, Sasuke began to subtly rub at the back of his neck. A burning sensation had been bothering him for quite some time since they entered the area around Ame and it was getting increasingly more intense. He hadn't felt that way since he had used the cursed seal stuck on him. As a matter of fact he hadn't felt it burn since Orochimaru first placed it on him…

Oh crap.

Sasuke's hand slowly drifted down towards his chokuto before he felt his body freeze and pain shot through his body. Sakura noticed his shallow breathing and how he seemed to be biting back noises of strain, "Sasuke-kun what's the matter?" She asked as she went over to try and soothe him. If his hood was down and if he could move to pull it down himself one would see the black mark of the seal on his neck glowing and pulsating.

"Sakura…" Sasuke tried to say, "The seal… Orochimaru…"

That name set off bells inside of Jushiro's head but he did his best to keep from losing his temper again, instead peering around for any sight of the man while Kakashi pulled his hitae-ate up to reveal his Sharingan.

"Kukukuku… Sasuke-kun, you're denying the gift I gave you all those years ago? I'm so disappointed. Do you not wish to kill your brother the way you've claimed for all of these years?"

Sasuke still had enough bravado about him to get in one shot at the snake-using ninja, "Like I'd actually get the power to kill Itachi from someone he handled effortlessly in the past. You were too weak to take him so you settled for me right? It's the only reason you'd risk breaking into Konoha just to mark me."

"…That tongue of yours is too sharp for your own good Sasuke-kun."

In a show of his impeccable speed, Orochimaru rushed at Sasuke with his sword sticking out a snake coming from his mouth. Sakura was right by Sasuke prepared to do what she could to keep him from falling prey to whatever Orochimaru wished to do. Before any sort of attack could be launched on Sasuke and Sakura who was trying to protect him, the deadly spinning alchemically enhanced chakram on a chain of Jushiro cut him off from finishing.

Orochimaru jumped away from Sasuke and finished pulling the Kusanagi sword from his mouth as he stared down Sasuke and Sakura, "Just sit tight Sasuke-kun. I'll be with you in a moment to take your body."

"Over my dead body." Jushiro said, stepping in front of them spinning his weapon around in a threatening manner.

"That was the general idea in the first place my boy." Orochimaru said with an amused chuckle, "Your dead body and everyone else's... except Sasuke-kun's of course."

Jushiro simply kept glaring at Orochimaru, "Uh huh…" He quickly turned his eyes to Kakashi who looked like he was ready to fight, "Kakashi you and Sakura get Sasuke out of here. This is my fight."

The experienced Konoha jounin turned to Jushiro in surprise, "What? Jushiro you shouldn't fight him by yourself. You _know_ how dangerous he is. Sakura can take care of Sasuke herself and get him away. We can both take him on together."

"I let you stop me when he tried to kill old man Hokage back in the day." Jushiro said, not taking his eyes off of the smirking Orochimaru again, "I'm not a kid anymore Kakashi. Take Sasuke and Sakura and get the hell away. You don't want to be around me for this fight. This is 14 years in the making here and I'm not letting it pass me by again."

Orochimaru let out another laugh that condescended to Jushiro, "You make it seem as if I would just stand here and fight you boy. I have nothing to gain from ending your wretched life. I killed your family for their failure to deliver the appropriate results with their alchemy and let you live because you were just like your father's knowledge, useless."

Jushiro bared his teeth at the jibe directed at his deceased father and reached into his vest before revealing a red stone, "He didn't fail. He was just too smart to let someone like you know he succeeded." He held up the blood red stone so that Orochimaru could see it clearly, "This is the key to your immortality Orochimaru, the peak of alchemic research. The Philosopher's Stone. Make it apart of yourself and you will be immortal. But only me and my brother know how to make it, and this is the only one that exists to take." He could feel Orochimaru's stare on the small rock.

That was just what he wanted all along.

Jushiro made a show of placing the stone in his mouth underneath his tongue and stared at Orochimaru coldly. The snake sannin looked back at him in the same manner and held his hand out in an expectant manner, "Give me that stone boy and I'll reward you the way I would have done so for your father. Or you can keep it as long as you make another for me."

"Or I can just kill you the way I've been planning to since I was four." Jushiro said in return, "That's always a plan. You can take the stone if you kill me. So give me your best shot. This is what you wanted all along right? A true way to become immortal? You're so close now… all you have to do is step over my corpse to get it."

"You will receive no mercy from me." Orochimaru said, trying to bring Jushiro to his knees with his raw killing intent, his yellow snakish eyes trying to bore into his soul. Most shinobi would claim it was like staring into the eyes of death itself, "I'll kill you and take your stone… and then I'll take your brother too and force him to teach me all of the secrets to my future immortality. This time I will make sure you lose everything. Your life, your brother, even the pretty little thing you have waiting for you in Konoha. I'll take it all!"

Jushiro let out a laugh of his own at that, "Not so fast. You have to kill me first if you want to even start thinking about anything else." His face then twisted into one of pure anger and aggression as the red stone began to radiate the energy that prepared to charge his alchemy, "This is for my family you son of a bitch!"

* * *

**Yo what's up. So yeah, it's been four months since I last updated this, and I'm a bastard. Yes I'm well aware of that and willing to accept this. The thing is, I finally figured out the scene I wanted to close the story out on once and for all after all of this is over with. Something to really bring this thing home and I think what I came up with to do so was decent. **

**Not a good enough excuse ya jerks?**

**Okay how about this? In addition to getting on a tear with a lot of my other stuff, for the last two weeks or so I've been suffering from a concussion dealt to me by way of multiple knee strikes to my head in a sparring match in addition to my re-broken right hand (It was more of a full-scale fight than a spar really, but it happened in the gym so it wasn't an actual sanctioned match). Ain't being me great? So many fun things happen to me. All the physical trauma. You've got to love it.**

**Anyway, I'll catch you all around. Kenchi out.**


	66. Vanity and Violence

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I know it's hard to believe but you honestly don't need to hit the streets and riot in protest of this fact. No. Wait. Please. People calm down, I'm not worth it.

(Is my reverse psychology working?)

Enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter 66: Vanity and Violence**

* * *

The red flash of Jushiro's Philosopher's Stone was Kakashi's cue to get the hell away as fast as he could. His Sharingan eye managed to catch a glimpse of the power radiating off of that thing, and while it wasn't chakra there was _something_ about it that just made him cringe. He wanted no part of it, and if Sasuke's seal from Orochimaru was acting up there was a chance that this could be a bid for the boy's body.

Not on his watch.

It didn't take him long to come across Sakura and Sasuke, with the former taking Sasuke what she thought would be far enough away from Orochimaru and Jushiro on the plains outside of Amegakure to try and assist Sasuke and somehow help assuage his pain that, "Kakashi-sensei is Jushiro really going to stay back there to fight Orochimaru by himself?"

"It looks like it." Kakashi replied, picking Sasuke up off of the ground piggyback style, "The look in his eyes told me all I needed to know. This is his fight and he never wanted anyone else to fight it but him." Three years ago during the invasion of Konoha, Jushiro took a beating from the undead past Hokage to try and get a shot at Orochimaru. Now that he was strong enough, he believed with all of his heart that a fight with Orochimaru was his.

As Kakashi took off with Sasuke on his back followed by the seal-paralyzed Sasuke, Sakura followed and tried to keep up with the infamous Konoha jounin's pace, "Where are we going now? We still don't know where Naruto is, Jiraiya-sama went off on his own, and Jushiro is fighting Orochimaru."

"First thing's first." Kakashi said to answer her question, "We need to get Sasuke as far away from Orochimaru as we can until he can move around on his own again. He's a sitting duck as he is. And hopefully Jushiro can finish the snake off once and for all."

XxX

(Jushiro vs. Orochimaru)

"How beautiful." Orochimaru said, licking his lips as he stared at the Philosopher's Stone sticking out on Jushiro's tongue. His eyes cut to a glare once the beautiful stone disappeared when Jushiro stuck his tongue back into his mouth, "Last warning boy. Give me the information on the stone. I want to know everything, and that is the key!"

With Orochimaru's own scientific knowledge, any information given to him on the Philosopher's Stone or even on alchemy in general could be catastrophic. There was no way in hell he would ever get either as long as Jushiro was alive to say or do anything about it.

In one motion, Jushiro turned the ring on his right hand into his cestus and punched the ground, forming countless earthen spikes to form in a lightning quick rush at Orochimaru. The snake summoning sannin moved around the massive spikes like his animal of association, contorting his body around them as he advanced toward his enemy.

Jushiro then used his chakram to send it flying at both Orochimaru and his own self-raised spikes, cutting them down wheat wantonly as he aimed at Orochimaru. But just like in a mirror of the first time he had attacked Orochimaru years ago, Orochimaru merely contorted himself around the attack close enough to get within striking distance of Jushiro.

Instead of throwing a kick to batter the white-haired alchemist the way he did when he saw him as a non-factor three years ago, Orochimaru's Kusanagi no Tsurugi sword emerged from a snake in his mouth and attempted to cut right through him.

Before he was struck, Jushiro knew that he had telegraphed his own attack from the outset. He was _not_ going to be faster than Orochimaru, he was not going to be more agile than Orochimaru, he knew this after bearing witness to the battle between the man and Hiruzen years ago. So reaction time was everything.

And with that reaction time he quickly used the ring on his left hand to form his gauntlet with the clawed fingers that covered his entire arm. The piece of sturdy armor blocked Orochimaru's sword strike before the transmutation runes inscribed on the gauntlet let off a glow. In the blink of an eye, Orochimaru's body began to freeze over to the extent that his head and upper body were covered.

Taking advantage of what had just occurred, Jushiro used his right hand to punch clean through Orochimaru's head and upper torso, but the entire body merely turned to mud revealing it to be a clone of some sort. Of course it wasn't going to be that easy.

And as a sign of this, the ground began to shake underneath Jushiro alerting him to get the hell out of the way. The ground then burst upwards revealing three massive snakes that were merged together at their tails.

"A summon?" Jushiro grunted out in his own hyperfocus on the battle at hand, "Okay, why not?" Stopping his retreat and standing in place, Jushiro punched the ground hard with his right arm and forced up a considerable number of tightly packed spikes that impaled the three snakes, forcing them to let out a violent hiss. They hissed their last when Jushiro used his alchemy-fueled chakram with its indefinitely extending chain to cut clean through all three of their heads with one attack, not a bit of momentum lost in the buzzsaw that was the chakram.

With the Philosopher's Stone fueling his technique there was nothing he couldn't cut through with that tool.

As the three severed heads of the snakes hit the ground with resounding thuds, Orochimaru appeared from the ground, seemingly having been one with the earth in hiding during the skirmish with his summons.

This time with his Kusanagi sword in hand, prepared to strike Jushiro down once and for all, Orochimaru swung his powerful blade. Jushiro was able to duck the attack, losing a significant portion of his formerly long white locks when they were sliced off, but he managed to keep his head which was infinitely more important.

Utilizing the ducking motion that saved his life, Jushiro punched the ground with his right hand that had the cestus, forming a wall to come between himself and Orochimaru, one that he then punched right through from his side, though he missed Orochimaru by a long shot.

"Sen'ei Tajashu (Many Hidden Shadow Snake Hands)!"

From around and above the wall, and even through the hole that Jushiro had just punched in it, a major amount of snakes flittered at the alchemy-using ninja and had him leaping back as far as he could out of the attack area of the snakes as they all came directly at him.

Jushiro punched the ground again and formed two tall and curved walls on both sides of him, forcing the snakes flying through the air at him into an alley for easy aiming. With that being done, Jushiro sent his chakram flying right at them all and cut through not only them, but the original wall he had punched through where all the snakes had originally come from.

With Orochimaru on the other side of it.

The walls to pigeon-hole the snakes had been created to curve, and on the other side of the original wall it met at its ends. On the tops it curved inwards for more difficult climbing, and with his deadly chakram cutting through everything in its way it had to get something.

And it had.

A smirk grew on Jushiro's face when he saw Orochimaru cut clean in half at the waist. But the smirk dropped into a deep scowl when he saw a huge amount if thick snakes stretch out to connect the two birfucated body parts, bringing him back together as he laughed condescendingly, "Is that the best you have to offer boy?" Orochimaru taunted, "The power to do the things you've done thus far is wasted on someone as weak as you. If _I_ had that power…" He trailed off before licking his lips with that abnormally long tongue of his.

"I'm not done yet." Jushiro said, converting his freezing gauntlet back to his ring and showing his tattoo on the palm of his hand before slamming it down on the ground and forcing a tremendous explosion to fill the walled off area the two men were stuck in.

XxX

(With Naruto and Akiza – Safehouse Outside of Amegakure)

The attention of both Naruto and Akiza was caught by the sound of wet footsteps entering the safehouse. Both of their eyes turned towards the entrance of the building only to narrow at the sight of a white-haired man joining their presence.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing here?" Akiza said with quite a biting tone in her speech. She most definitely didn't want to see this person in front of them, remembering what he had done in the past, "We don't want to have to deal with you and this isn't any of your business so why don't you leave before you get yourself hurt?"

She was about to stand up and do something proactive about the intruder until Naruto grabbed a hold of her arm and pulled back to a position of sitting down, getting her to glare at him with a pout under her hood, "You're pretty ballsy for showing your face in front of me again after what you did." Naruto said, his eyes affixed on the person in front of them, "…Kabuto."

Kabuto walked out of the shadows from the entrance of the building as the rain poured down through the damaged roof with the insufferable smirk on his face that always seemed to be there, "You've been making a lot of noise. Orochimaru-sama is off dealing with your old team and your brother. Once he's done he'll have Sasuke's body at last."

"Sure he will… and it'll start raining ramen broth too." Naruto quipped. There was no way that snake could beat the rest of Team 7 and Jushiro at the same time. Unless he had a way to separate them they would beat him somehow… there was no way they'd lose. But that wasn't the point. None of this involved them either, and if everything went according to plan all that would happen would be the end of Akatsuki, "Go away. There's something more important than getting you back going on right now, and once that's over with I probably still won't care enough about you to chase you."

"I'm here for a reason you know." Kabuto said, ignoring Naruto's warning to simply leave them be as he kept walking into the building further, "So how did you do it?" He asked, sounding completely interested in the answer, "You took down one of the strongest villages in the world in one night and didn't leave a trace behind. What possible ninjutsu could possibly exist to do anything like that?"

"No ninjutsu… alchemy." Naruto said with his eyes clouding over again, "And they're all in me… and her. Every soul of every person in Iwagakure alive when I activated the transmutation wound up inside of my body, and now I'm immortal." He noticed Kabuto's glasses get a shine off of them at hearing that.

"Really?" The amount of intrigue in Kabuto's voice simply couldn't be hidden, "That's a pretty big claim, but then again you aren't one to lie about something so big. Care to share? Or better yet come with me, we can work something out that can benefit each other Naruto-kun." He would have taken another step forward, but Naruto held up one hand with his glove that could create a spark that he could use to attempt to incinerate him, "Easy now." He saw Naruto let his hand fall and put his smirk back on, "That's better."

Instead of rising to Kabuto's patronizing comment, he ignored him for the girl at his side, "I'm sorry I made you run around and collect all of that specific stuff for the transmutation… but I didn't know there'd actually be someone that I didn't mind using for it showing up here."

Kabuto raised an eyebrow in confusion, only to look down when Akiza pointed to do such. Beneath him he had apparently walked directly into a very elaborate transmutation circle. Having never actually seen one in person due to the fact that Naruto had been doing circle-less transmutations from the moment they had met he had no idea what the problem was. He did know one thing however, "So what? You're going to use your alchemy on me? You aren't anywhere near the circle and there's no way you'll move fast enough to get over here to activate it before I move."

Neither Naruto nor Akiza moved an inch, but didn't seem concerned in the least. At first Kabuto figured it was a stand-off of sorts, but as it dragged on he didn't feel any tension from either of them, as if they didn't consider him a threat.

Before he could speak up on the matter, the circle he was standing in began to glow and he found himself unable to move, "What?" Kabuto said in disbelief, "What did you just do? You didn't move at all, how did you activate it?"

Akiza wanted to know too and turned to Naruto to hear him explain, "I was going to split off parts of my own person anyway, so I dropped a few souls at the circle. Just so I can remotely activate the circle without actually being there myself. And Kabuto… we're officially even."

"What are you doing?" The medic/spy yelled as the power of the circle being activated crackled all around him, "What's this?"

"You're a medium for a part of our Philosopher's Stones." Akiza said as both her and Naruto's bodies began to glow, "Fullmetal are you totally sure that this is really going to work?" She could feel a pull on her person, but not much of one as she was able to hang tough and deal with it.

"Absolutely." Naruto said with the utmost confidence as bright red light began to fill the whole building, "And even if it doesn't the only person it'll hurt in the end is Kabuto… and me." His voice then started to sound considerably strained, "…And damn this is really going to hurt!"

XxX

(With Team 7)

"Kakashi…" Sasuke said, his voice seeming to gain more strength as he rode on Kakashi's back, "Let me down. I'm fine, I can move again."

Hearing Sasuke say something after he had been doing nothing but sounding like he was straining internally had Sakura scramble to check him over after Kakashi came to a stop and did as Sasuke had requested, "Sasuke-kun are you sure you're alright?" She asked as she pulled the hood of his cloak back to see the cursed seal back to normal on his neck, "You're not in any pain or anything?"

"No…" Sasuke said, rubbing his neck and looking back where he remembered leaving Jushiro and Orochimaru, "Jushiro must be doing a hell of a job to keep Orochimaru's attention, because he isn't focusing on the seal at all. It's okay." He grabbed a hold of Sakura's hands as she ran them over him trying to make sure he was comfortable and settled, "Should we go back?"

Kakashi shook his head as a massive explosion came up from the area where Jushiro had been fighting Orochimaru, "No. We'd be in the way. Jushiro's power is incredible with the Philosopher's Stone, and his attacks are more potent. Teamwork wouldn't help him there, but a wide open area with no chance of collateral damage would though." The further away they were the harder he could fight.

"So you've come after all… Sasuke."

Hearing that calm voice got Sasuke's blood to run cold as all three of them turned towards a slope to see Itachi simply standing there in the rain looking down at them with Kisame at his side grinning evilly.

Sakura squeezed Sasuke's hand tightly and this was what kept him from running off and trying to gut Itachi with his chokuto immediately upon seeing his voice, "Itachi…" Sasuke said lowly, keeping his composure as best he could given the circumstances. Without even being told otherwise, Kakashi pulled his hitae-ate up and revealed his Sharingan eye in preparation for battle. But then Sasuke turned to Kakashi with his own activated out of instinct, "No Kakashi… I want to fight him myself… I need to make him pay myself or else everything I've worked for is useless."

Turning to his student for a moment before looking up at their dangerous enemies once more, Kakashi had to repudiate the request, "Sasuke that's not a good idea. You could very well be killed in this fight. Do you want that?"

"If it happens it happens."

"Sasuke!" Kakashi snapped, trying to break the young man of that line of thinking, "Think for a second!"

Once again, Sasuke turned towards Kakashi, but this time with a glare that could stop a timid man's heart, "I have! I've thought about it for the last eight years! What would you do if the only thing you've been training for since you were eight years old stood right there in front of you! This is my fight! And if I die… well then I guess that means I'm not good enough to avenge my clan after all."

At Itachi's side, Kisame let out a few chuckles, "So this is the same spineless jellyfish of a brother you messed with last time? He seems to have some stones now." But his statement didn't get a reaction of any sort from Itachi, not a grunt or anything as he had been used to by then, so he turned towards his silent partner, "Itachi-san? Are you alright? Are we going to take these guys and finish this little family business of yours or what?"

"Family business…" Itachi said before turning to Kisame, "As you said, this is family business… and you aren't family. So I'm sorry Kisame, but you and Kakashi will have to remain behind while Sasuke and myself end this." And with that, Itachi's body turned into a flock of crows that scattered from the site.

Shock came over three of the four faces still in the area with the exception of Sasuke, as only a smirk came to his face in anticipation, "Kakashi… I want you to take care of Sakura. And find that idiot Naruto and make sure he doesn't get himself killed. I'll be back." He gave a look to Sakura that kept her from trying to convince him otherwise, "I promise."

Kakashi simply stared at Sasuke with an unreadable expression on his face before nodding stiffly, "You'd better not leave her alone Sasuke, or she'd never forgive you… and you were already gone before you even asked me weren't you?" He said, finishing in a dry voice.

"Gotta love Naruto's Kage Bunshin." 'Sasuke' then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Staring at the smoke that used to form Sasuke's clone, Kakashi's eye involuntarily twitched, "…If he wanted to learn that jutsu he could have just asked me. He didn't need to ask Naruto and keep it from me…"

"Kakashi-sensei." Sakura said, pulling a pair of brown gloves onto her hands as she stared down Kisame, "We still have to deal with this guy."

Kisame let out a laugh at hearing the seriousness in Sakura's voice over fighting him, "_We_? You're going to fight me too? By choice? Hah, I guess even a pink-haired princess like you can have some guts. Too bad I'm going to be seeing those guts all over the ground before we're done here." He said as he brandished his massive sword from his back, pulling off the bandages to reveal its scaly appearance.

There was no hesitation from Kakashi as he channeled chakra to his left eye and decided to go for broke right off the bat. Against someone like Kisame he couldn't afford to hold anything back. The pattern of his Sharingan changed from three tomoe to three curved blades spreading out from the center of the eye.

Kisame picked up on this and narrowed his eyes at Kakashi before smirking, "I don't even want to ask how you got that Mangekyou Sharingan… but I work with Itachi-san. There's no way you're getting me with any of those nasty little techniques that come with the upgrade."

Sakura looked at Kakashi and saw the upgraded Sharingan, a gasp leaving her lips at the sight, "Kakashi-sensei, you-."

"-Sakura pay attention and move!" Kakashi snapped at her before rushing towards her to shove her out of the way before a downward slash from Kisame and Samehada could barbarize her. Though he then had to bend back at an unnatural angle to avoid getting his head cut off before following through with a back handspring that began a pattern of Kakashi being set on the defensive, avoiding Kisame's sword strikes.

"Sensei!" Sakura shouted before leaping at Kisame with a punch loaded up and ready to go.

Seeing her coming, Kisame quickly formed a water clone that broke off to fight Sakura by itself, "There. Play with that for a while princess… your sensei and I are going to have a little fun for a bit."

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)!"

Kisame turned back around and cut clean through the fireball that had been launched at him by Kakashi, with Samehada's ability to absorb pretty much any chakra based attack it was child's play to do so, "Oh yeah… this is going to be a lot of fun."

XxX

(Jushiro vs. Orochimaru)

Burns covered Jushiro's body as he lay on the ground in the middle of his walled off portion of battlefield, smoke rising from the ground and the blown up walls that had been destroyed in the vicious blast of his own creation. His vest had been rendered to tatters and couldn't even stay on his body anymore in the places where it wasn't fused to his skin via burns, "…Not the best idea." Jushiro said quietly as he slowly sat up, holding his arms around his own body and breathing heavily, "Man I'm a dumbass."

"Agreed."

Jushiro stared intensely through the haze of his own creation and eventually enough of it cleared away that he could see Orochimaru, suffering from burns just as intense as his own. Not only that, but the sight of Orochimaru missing his right arm and his entire tunic either burned off or sticking to his own body put a smirk on his face.

"You're not looking too good there." Jushiro quipped as he staggered back to his feet, "I hope it hurts you bastard."

"Oh it most certainly does." Orochimaru said before managing a smirk his face through the pain of his injuries, "But then again when one learns as many ninjutsu as I have, you learn a few tricks that allow you to overcome said injuries." And with that, he seemed to shed his entire body through his mouth like a snake, revealing a new body, complete with full original clothing that he had at the outset of the battle, "You like?"

It couldn't be. He had dealt significant damage to Orochimaru and seemed to have put the man more worse for wear than himself. And here he just shrugged off every bit of damage that he had painstakingly given him at the cost of his own body, as if it had been nothing.

As strange as it was for him to say after all of the things _he_ had done with alchemy, people didn't do that. It wasn't natural. Jushiro was well aware and had long since accepted that alchemy was unnatural, it screwed with the natural order of things by its very nature and changed them into whatever he desired them to become.

But there was just something about Orochimaru that seemed more twisted than almost anything he could come up with using alchemy, short of the creation of the Philosopher's Stone.

Yeah, Orochimaru had to die today. No matter what Jushiro had to give to put him down once and for all he'd give it. Even if it wound up being his own life.

Hell, his life to get rid of a snake like Orochimaru seemed like a fair enough trade if it came down to it. Equivalent exchange at its finest in his opinion.

Orochimaru simply gestured with his hands for Jushiro to come forth once more and engage him once again. Something Jushiro was more than happy to oblige as he rushed towards the man with a shout of effort as he prepared to launch his chakram at Orochimaru again.

"Mandara no Jin (Formation of Ten Thousand Snakes Silk)!" Orochimaru chuckled as he leaned forward onto the ground and opened his mouth, with countless snakes numbering in the thousands spilling out and rushing towards Jushiro in an unavoidable wave, covering the ground so that it couldn't even be seen anymore over the sight of serpents. The myriad of snakes then opened their mouths to reveal blades emerging from their throats.

"You aren't going to beat me with stupid snakes!" Jushiro shouted at the top of his lungs before setting aside his initial weapon of choice and slamming his tattooed palm onto the ground, causing a ripple effect of explosions that annihilated the snakes before any of them could even get close, "You'll never touch me with a single one of them!"

"Such a wonderful power."

Jushiro's eyes went wide before he felt a sword slide its way neatly through his torso from behind, blade sticking out of his front enough for him to easily look down and see where he had been stabbed .

Orochimaru stood behind Jushiro holding the Kusanagi sword in one hand with a look of victory on his face, "You know, this is very familiar. I believe that I ended your father's life in much the same way, right down to him countering my previous move with a similar attempt to yours. However you fight on a far higher level than he did. It didn't take nearly as much time or effort to end his and your mother's lives for his failure."

"Failure…" Jushiro said as blood started leaking from his mouth as well as from his stab wounds.

"Yes…" The enjoyment in Orochimaru's voice was evident as he continued to talk down to Jushiro, "All of that power. The potential for achieving anything… and your father simply didn't have the resolve to use it the way it was intended to be used. But you don't seem to have that problem, after all, you've created the Philosopher's Stone. But with that resolve to do what is needed for greatness you simply don't have the talent. You're a failure in your own way, just like your father and just like your little brother."

'A failure.' Jushiro thought to himself almost as if his brain was on repeat from earlier, 'I never wanted to be great. I didn't want to be a ninja… and I didn't even want to learn alchemy at first. I did those things for others. For my family, for the runt. I don't think I've ever really lived for myself. So what do I want?'

"Why do you know these things?" Orochimaru questioned, sword still driven through his younger adversary, "Why is it that you ran to the walls of Konoha? What is it that you truly want? I'm certain that with alchemy you could do anything you wished."

"I never wanted anything." Jushiro said quietly, "I don't want anything. All I want is to be at ease." His hand slowly reached up and grabbed the blade tightly before slowly moving it out of his own body, "But I've got this problem…" He grunted out with great effort as he continued to struggle, "As much as I want to dream about my Haku-chan, and what my future might hold, the only thing I ever have running through my head is nightmares of what I'm sure you did to my parents… and I can't stop. So I think I might have just lied to you… because I do want one thing, and it's something only you can give me Orochimaru."

By this time the blade had been pushed out of his body, and with a quickness that was more sudden than anything Orochimaru jumped back as Jushiro suddenly reformed his freezing gauntlet and used a surprise attack of freezing spikes of his own blood from his wound, "Something that you want from me?"

"Yeah…" Jushiro's surprise attack froze his own wound shut, something that was a temporary fix at best. He would have to thaw his own wound out soon or else he would suffer horrible internal damage that probably wouldn't be able to be fixed, "I just want you to die!"

Orochimaru saw Jushiro send his chakram flying right towards him and sneered at the desperate ingenuity he used to temporarily repair himself, even with the fact that he should have dropped dead. The blinding speed of the viciously rotating weapon was too fast for Orochimaru to dodge off of his back foot, "Kuchiyose: Sanjuu Rashoumon (Summoning: Triple Rashoumon)!" Orochimaru slammed both of his hands into the ground and three titanic gates the size of boss-level summons rose up one in front of the other, 'I can't believe this fool is still fighting, and that he 's forced me to use so much of my chakra!'

Perhaps picking a fight with someone that did have his own page in the bingo book wasn't such a smashing idea. With the replacement of his body, the summoning of the Rashoumon gates, and all that came with it there was a lot of strain being put on the sannin's deteriorating host body.

But at least he was able to keep Jushiro back for a while longer. It didn't matter how powerful his explosions were, he wasn't going to blow a single one of those gates down, let alone all three.

Or so he thought until he heard a grinding noise followed by the sound of something being ripped through, and a repeat of the same twice more until with the final sound of something being ripped through came the sight of the deadly spinning chakram blade flying right through the gate.

"Impossible!" Orochimaru cried in pure shock before the blade cut his left arm off at the shoulder, "Gah! You ignorant bastard! How did you possibly get past the Rashoumon gates?" It was absurd to simply accept that such a powerful defense was unable to stop his petty little weapon; his glorified bladed yo-yo on a chain.

"Because with the Philosopher's Stone powering my chakram and chain I can stretch it indefinitely!" Orochimaru's eyes widened as he heard Jushiro standing behind him, his fist cocked back with his cestus ready to unleash a horrifically power punch, "And with the Philosopher's Stone the alchemic reaction can cut through _anything_ in the entire world!"

Even with one bleeding arm Orochimaru wasn't out of the fight, his sword being summoned from a snake in his mouth as he turned and used it to slice into Jushiro, but he turned to smoke the moment the blade made contact, "No! You still have the chakra for a Kage Bunshin even with all of those attacks being used in the battle?"

"Alchemy doesn't use chakra dumbass!"

A sharp yelp of pain came from Orochimaru as from behind he felt Jushiro's fist smash him in the spine and send him flying like a boneless rag-doll. There hadn't been anyone to hit Orochimaru nearly that hard since Tsunade had done it years prior. Now this wasn't on that scale, but he was fairly certain that without some of his body modifications he would have been paralyzed from the blow.

Flexing his fist out after landing the most satisfying punch he had ever hit anyone with in his life, Jushiro stared at Orochimaru while breathing rather heavily, still smarting from his wounds, "You're lucky… If the formula inscribed on my weapon had been a human transmutation circle I could have fucked you up with that punch." And himself as well, but the psychological advantage from his bluff was more useful than the truth.

Orochimaru retook his feet before collapsing to his knees, 'No! This body cannot hold up for much longer at this rate!' He had come for Sasuke, and hadn't anticipated this much resistance from anyone else. Kabuto had been meant to secure his trump card in obtaining Sasuke's body without resistance but he never returned with Naruto in tow. And now he was locked in battle with a driven enemy and his host body was beginning to crap out on him, 'How is he able to drive me back! I should have that power! I should be immortal!'

"What's the matter?" Jushiro said between heavy breaths, "Is your bodysnatching catching up to you? Just drop dead already… you're like a virus."

"I am Orochimaru boy!" The man shouted at Jushiro hatefully as his missing arm stopped bleeding due to his physical experiments on his body, "I am the man destined to know and understand everything! This world is mine! And who are you? The son of a worthless, gullible scientist playing with drawings and elements! I will kill you and I will take what is mine!" With that, Orochimaru opened his mouth and from it flew another body, shedding his old one with his new body having a snake's bottom half as he rushed Jushiro with the Kusanagi sticking out of his mouth.

XxX

(Kakashi and Sakura vs. Kisame)

It was an insult was what it was. A flat out insult when Kisame sent nothing more than a water clone to deal with Sakura.

And yet she was grateful that she wasn't fighting the man himself… because his clone by itself was positively barbaric in its fighting style and if a clone with 1/10th of the strength of the real Kisame fought with such ferocity then maybe it was better that she was fighting the clone.

If Tsunade hadn't taught her to evade anything that came her way Sakura would have been diced up by clone-Kisame. She could only imagine what Kakashi was dealing with.

"Hold still girl!" Clone-Kisame ordered as it attacked Sakura with its bare hands, not even attacking with the blade, as there was no copying the traits of Samehada for a water clone, "There's no Itachi-san around to end my fun with you and your sensei today, not as long as he's off dealing with his little brother!"

Sakura was not even trying to retaliate against Kisame's clone as his assault ceased in its pace, 'Kami, he's not slowing down a bit. How much energy does the real Kisame have if this _clone_ has enough energy to keep coming at me like this?' Even with that thought in mind, Sakura had a smirk slowly forming on her face.

The expression seemed to be upsetting the water clone that began to attack her more furiously than before, "Get that look off of your face before I rip it off!"

'Just a little bit further.' Sakura thought as she kept herself moving away from Kisame but staying close enough to make him believe that he could hit her with just a little bit more. When Kisame stopped in the middle of throwing a punch, Sakura's smirk turned to a full grin, 'Because these clones can only go so far from the person that made them.' With the Kisame-clone frozen in place, Sakura destroyed it with one punch to the head before rushing off to get to Kakashi again.

XxX

With the sensei of Team 7, Kisame was showing him no quarter and unlike Sakura, Kakashi had to face the full strength of the powerful former Kiri ninja.

No matter what kind of ranged attack Kakashi threw at Kisame he was always able to merely block with Samehada and absorb the chakra that he placed in the technique. It really was time for _that_ jutsu.

"You don't know what my Mangekyou Sharingan can do, but you're about to find out." Kakashi said to Kisame as he began to focus a major amount of chakra to his implanted eye.

He had said before that he didn't know Tsukuyomi, and Samehada could just absorb Amaterasu since it was chakra based, so Kisame figured he had nothing to fear as long as he had his weapon of choice, "Ooh. With all of that chakra you're building up Samehada's getting excited."

"I'm getting a little excited too." Kakashi said before initiating his attack, "Kamui (Authority of the Gods)!"

Kisame let out a laugh as Samehada felt Kakashi expel his chakra, "So what's the jutsu?" He asked before a barrier materialized down by his right hand where he was holding Samehada. Before he could do anything the blade warped right out of his hand and vanished, "What the hell!"

Satisfied despite the incredible amount of chakra he used to activate the jutsu, Kakashi explained, "You're not going to be getting that back I'm afraid. It's gone. I don't even know where it is myself. Kamui sends things to another dimension. I guess there are only six swords left now."

XxX

(With Naruto and Akiza)

The red light that filled the building they were in had Akiza blinded as she couldn't look through it to see Naruto, but she could still hear him and how much pain he was in. He refused to cry out though, "Fullmetal are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" He yelled back, "The medium is ready… the stone's in place. It's time to do this. Now get outside, because this place isn't going to stand up to what I'm about to do!"

"Are you sure?" The concern in Akiza's voice was evident. It was obvious that this whole thing was hurting him greatly. There had to be some limit to what he could take and survive, "You don't have to go through with this you know! It's your choice!"

"I made a promise a long time ago! Now get out of here already unless you want to get caught up in this!"

And that was all she really needed to hear in the end. He had kept every promise he had made her. Why would she tell him to break any other promise he made anyone else before they had gotten together? Probably before they had even met. She simply didn't have the right.

So Akiza ran outside per her instructions, rubbing her eyes to get her proper sight back once she got back into the dull, cloudy overcast that seemed to perpetually set over Amegakure that was easier on her vision.

As this was happening, a large clay bird was circling overhead with Deidara on it, looking down on the scene at hand, "What the hell is going on down there, un?" He then saw Akiza rubbing her eyes as she hadn't even seen him yet, "Wait. That's the Kyuubi brat's little girlfriend." He smirked as he fished some clay out of his pouch and began kneading it in the mouths on his hand, "Let's make this quick then. I can just kill her as long as I capture the kid himself alive."

XxX

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Once more standing in the field that signified his mind, Naruto stood in front of the flowing red-haired figure of the Kyuubi that had inhabited his mind since the day he was born, "A promise is a promise." He said as he looked at her with a smile, "I even got you a body to use so you can use your powers with some control."

"**I… I don't know what to say."** Kyuubi said, staring at her jinchuuriki with her blood red eyes full of emotion, **"The last six months I thought were unreal."** She looked around and saw the souls that inhabited Naruto's body gawking at the scene, **"Can you handle this without me here playing warden? And what about my chakra? You won't have it anymore."**

"The fact that you've been in my body for all of these years is going to leave an imprint of your chakra on me." Naruto said reassuringly, "I'm always going to have some access to your chakra. Probably just as much as I've been using all along. And I'll get control eventually… I have all the time in the world right?" He then reached his hand out for her to take.

Kyuubi looked down at the hand before slowly reaching out to take a hold of it with a roguish look and a purr to her voice, **"What if I double-cross you once I get your body? I am supposed to be a monster if you remember."**

"I'll burn that bridge when I come to it, if we come to it." Naruto said with a huge grin, "You'll have to kill me a hell of a lot if you really want to take me down though. I can reseal you and live if I have to if _you_ remember." His grin faded into a fond smile as he made a half-ram seal with one hand, "It's been a hell of a ride."

As the kanji tattoo on her chest for 'seal' began to glow red instead of its usual black, Kyuubi shut her eyes, **"The ride's not over yet kit."**

"Fuuin Kai (Seal Release)!"

XxX

(Meanwhile – Real World)

"Goodnight sweetie!" Deidara said as he prepared to let his clay attack bird loose on the seemingly vulnerable and blinded Akiza, "You're a lot stronger than the lot of the fools that used to be from my old village, but when it comes to my art there's nothing like it in the world! It's an explosion, un!"

And an explosion did occur, only it wasn't the kind that Deidara was intending to create with his clay. It came from the building below him as red chakra burst up from the site that forced him to postpone his attack and fly away from the main point of the explosion.

The red chakra continued to billow into the sky like a volcano had erupted and spewed ash. Deidara flew around the scene trying to survey what was inside all of the chakra with the scope on one of his eyes, "What caused that? I didn't do it." From the billowing chakra, Deidara was barely able to make out the features of a fox before blood-red eyes opened and let out a crushing roar that destroyed the bird Deidara was riding on and damaged him greatly with the sheer pressure and force it was able to generate. His eyes widened in shock and horror at what he was obviously facing.

It could only be one of two things. Either Naruto had managed to get full control over the Kyuubi's chakra over the last six months enough to transform into the beast itself… or the Kyuubi had been released from its seal.

Since the last time Naruto had used its chakra hadn't yielded any sign of him getting close to mastering its abilities it was evident that the latter option was the one Deidara had to accept as he fell to his fate, paralyzed by the aura of the most powerful biju and its previous attack.

Somehow, someway, and for some reason, the Kyuubi had been released by Naruto Uzumaki.

* * *

**I've not got a thing to really say, so I'll just leave it at that for now. Yeah, I've got stuff to do today so until the next time I'll make it short and sweet and say that I think there are five chapters max left in this thing if my estimation is correct. I'll save all my insightful things that I've learned for better and for worse from writing this thing for the last chapter's author's note.**

**Later days folks. Until the next time ladies and gentlemen… especially ladies.**

**Kenchi out.**


	67. The Days Elapsed

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. I request bailout money so that I can give my business a much needed jump. The 99% demands it, and what better victory for the little guy than by letting me buy the Naruto franchise? I'll be sure to share the wealth with my fellow middle and lower class compatriots… eventually.

**Chapter 67:The Days Elapsed**

* * *

Standing directly on the top of the large body of water that separated the inner portion of Amegakure away from the rest of the world, both Sasuke and Itachi stood, with neither of them making a move despite the water pouring down on top of them.

Neither Itachi nor Sasuke had their Sharingan active, just standing there in silence. To Itachi's surprise Sasuke didn't even look angry, or even particularly malicious, "Hello Sasuke. I see the years have been good to you. Not such a runt anymore are you?"

"That was a long time ago Itachi." Sasuke said with not a hint of familiarity in his tone, "I'm here for a reason."

"To kill me." Itachi said just as calmly and serenely as ever, answering Sasuke's question for him as he shut his charcoal black eyes. That was honestly the answer Itachi expected. How could he have been conditioned to think anything else? But he was truly confused when he heard Sasuke actually chuckle at him. Laugh just like he had a secret that Itachi didn't know.

"It's not always all about you." Sasuke said as he continued to laugh, "I didn't come here for you at all to tell you the truth. This just happened." At that moment an oppressive force settled over both brothers. It felt like pure malice and hatred and everything was screaming at them to stay away from the direction it came from. Sasuke managed to stick an unsure smirk on his face as his sweat from fear mixed seamlessly with the rain, "…That's the reason I came here. But can you feel that? I don't think he's going to need any help."

"So you came to find Naruto-kun." It was still a bit of a surprise, but it was obviously a calmer, more clear-headed Sasuke facing him down, "Then it is fortunate that I am in the group meant to capture him then. What good fortune for you."

"_Itachi is a part of a group of criminals that want to kidnap me, and they travel in twos. What the hell do you think I mean? If you hang around me long enough, you're going to get your shot at Itachi, more or less one-on-one, and you won't ever even need to hunt him down. He'll come right to you, because you're with me."_

Remembering Naruto's words from just nine months prior, Sasuke simply couldn't help himself any longer. He laughed. Sasuke began to laugh right in the face of the man that had killed his clan and he simply couldn't stop. He laughed so hard… he hadn't laughed so hard in almost ten years if ever and Itachi thought he had snapped as he stared his brother down.

Sasuke tilted his head up and let it be hit by the rain before turning his head in the direction where a catastrophic amount of smoke had risen. The same direction where he felt the oppressive feeling from earlier, "Well I'll be damned… he was right. I guess even a blind squirrel can find a nut every once and a while too." He quipped, letting out one last chuckle before smirking at Itachi, "I'm not here for you, just like I said before. I came here to see if I couldn't help someone the way they helped me three years ago. But he obviously doesn't need my help from the feel of things, and you're right here in front of me."

"That I am." Itachi said serenely, "So shall we begin?"

Despite the byplay between them, in reality they had never moved an inch and had not said a word. Their eyes doing all of the talking for them with their genjutsu, and that was how the battle would begin as well.

XxX

(Kakashi vs. Kisame)

Kisame was livid. He had never been so angry in his entire life, not like this. And he had ample reason to be completely raging mad. Kakashi Hatake had sent his Samehada to another dimension with that Mangekyou Sharingan. Damn him. Damn that eye.

And now that Kakashi's ninjutsu could no longer be freely absorbed and circumvented, Kisame found himself thoroughly having to fight by way of not simply cutting through an enemy's ninjutsu for the first time in over ten years.

He was very out of practice when it came to this. Still, he was fast enough to avoid Kakashi's slower moving projectiles and attempt to hit him right back with moves of his own, though he was hesitant to use more of his higher level techniques. He didn't need Kakashi copying his jutsu and hitting him right back with it in return later. The crushing presence from before would have alarmed him, had he not been thoroughly possessed with a need to eviscerate Kakashi due to the loss of his finest weapon.

At the same time with Kakashi himself, his mind was elsewhere completely. He knew what the Kyuubi felt like. He had been in the village when the lot of able-bodied adults went out to delay the creature as best they could. This was it. It was no held back aura from Naruto, it was no single crushing attack, it was definitely not being sealed away by Akatsuki. It was the real deal and the Kyuubi was loose again. Unless Naruto learned that much over six months and learned how to transform into it.

In case of the worst case scenario, he wished to make sure that Naruto was at least alright. Fear sitting in his gullet or not just at the mere feeling setting over the landscape, this was his sensei's son and he had made mistakes of his own in the past to Naruto that he had never truly forgiven himself for.

So Kisame had to go, and in a hurry.

Easier said than done though as Kakashi found himself with a touch of trouble.

Apparently the rain provided enough water from the air for Kisame to easily form some of his more moisture required attacks.

"Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Shark Bullet Technique)!"

"Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Shark Bullet Technique)!"

When Kisame formed his water shark, Kakashi did the same, using much more chakra to form the attack out of the surrounding rain the way his adversary did, but the shark still formed and the two attacks slammed into each other, crashing together in a wave of water.

However, an enraged Kisame had been riding inside of his own shark when they crashed, which propelled him through the wall of water directly at Kakashi at a high speed. It was too sudden for Kakashi to fully dodge, thus he held his arms up to protect his body in a block and jumped aside as best he could, winding up with Kakashi taking a punch that he managed to block but it still sent him flying back, rolling across the ground until he got back up.

"I don't need my sword to gut you." Kisame threatened freely, clinching a fist tightly. He said this, but he was still in the wrong place for a battle without Samehada against a foe that could readily take advantage of that. He still needed a body of water for his strongest jutsu and he was about to make one himself, "I'm going to enjoy this…" He said as he formed the snake seal and prepared his jutsu that would turn the battle back into his favor fully.

Before he could begin the technique a blur of pink came from behind him and Kisame was forced to abandon his attack, lest he wind up pulverized the way the ground was by the attack of a returning Sakura, "Tch. Not as weak as you look are you?"

"You think a water clone is enough to deal with me?" Sakura replied as she and Kakashi now had Kisame in a pincer formation, "I'm really insulted by that. Don't you know? Women have to be strong to survive in this world."

"Well then why don't you show me just that?" Kisame beckoned her forth with one hand, trying to make sure he could keep Kakashi in his line of vision, "You kids are all talk these days. When I was your age I took what I wanted, and anyone that didn't like it didn't stay alive for too much longer."

"You talk too much!" Sakura cocked her fist back and struck the ground as hard as she could, "Oukashou (Cherry Blossom Impact)!" From the shockwave released from Sakura's punch the ground began breaking up on contact, leaving uneven, unstable chunks of pulverized earth all around.

Kisame jumped into the air the moment he saw Sakura's fist go towards the ground with a chuckle until he heard the sound of electricity crackling and saw Kakashi leap into the air after him with lightning in his right hand. Apprehension went through Kisame before he got his confidence back, "You're not touching me with that Hatake! Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Shark Bullet Technique)!"

He called an audible so to speak and formed another deadly shark from the water in the air, sending it at Kakashi's with the explosion of water in the result ending with the air only showing an electric charge instead of any part of Kakashi's body that he fell into and felt the paralyzing effects from.

"Raikiri (Lightning Cutter)!"

From behind, Kisame lurched forward and looked down to see an electricity-covered hand shoved through his chest. Kisame inhaled with one sharp gasp as blood poured from his wound and his mouth, "That was no Kage Bunshin was it?"

"It was my own adjustment to the technique. Raiton Kage Bunshin (Lightning Release Shadow Clone)." Kakashi said, his arm still shoved through Kisame's chest from behind, "I'm not falling to anyone today. There's still some things I need to see through to the end, for better or for worse."

Now that his life was fading and that his tunnel-vision on killing Kakashi was reduced, Kisame could feel the monstrous chakra that overwhelmed even his own potent reserves at its best, "Heh… that's the Kyuubi isn't it? The jinchuuriki's little note is why you came here. That's just hilarious." He said, laughing and coughing bloodily until his life ran out.

With Kisame's body going limp, Kakashi pulled his arm out of Kisame's chest and let him fully fall to the ground as Sakura walked over to him and triggered her chakra to try and begin healing him, "You don't need to do that Sakura, I'm fine." Kakashi said, keeping her from beginning the process as he pulled his hitae-ate back down over his eye, "Save your chakra. Both you and I are going to need all we've got."

Nodding to her commanding officer, Sakura looked over to where a cloud of dust, smoke and debris was rising high into the air, "Kakashi-sensei… that feeling. Is that really Naruto? Is that really the Kyuubi?" She had never felt any kind of breadth of the demonic power before as he had never used it in earnest around her to an intense scope.

Kakashi only nodded as he looked in the same direction, "Stay close." And with that, they moved along for better or worse in the direction they could feel the malevolent chakra coming from.

XxX

(With Akiza – Outlying Amegakure Village)

"Ugh…" Akiza picked herself up off of the ground shakily with her head swimming until a small surge of red energy emitted from her skull, signifying a use of the Philosopher Stone's power to heal her injuries, "Damn it I was training to control that better." She said to herself as she found herself in a half-decimated village with people running away in the opposite direction of the burst of power.

Good. At least people were getting away from Kyuubi.

The mere release of the powerful demon sent Akiza flying and let loose a burst of wind that tore apart the outside of this little buffer point of Ame's actual main village. From her proximity she was wondering how she wasn't torn apart and then realized once again that she wasn't a normal person any longer. At least it had its benefits, like serious durability.

Now she had to get back to see what had become of her boyfriend. He repeatedly assured her that he would be fine, but just feeling the chakra of his former tenant he had been keeping within him made her feel pause and nothing but trepidation in the pit of her stomach.

That would have to wait though as countless sheets of paper flew at her from the air, forcing her to dodge or else she would have taken more injuries. After avoiding the paper, she immediately summoned her pole-arm of choice from the ground, eyes panning across the sky to locate the origin of the attack, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Sekki Kiritateru, Naginata no Eimin (Summoning Jutsu: Earth Slayer, the Eternal Halberd)."

Using her weapon and her foot, Akiza drew a quick transmutation circle before stamping Sekki Kiritateru onto the ground within it to force a wall to rise up around her in order to block paper projectiles from all sides. Mixed in with the regular paper happened to be explosive tags, and they blew the wall apart revealing no Akiza within.

Elsewhere on the battlefield, Sekki Kiritateru flew from the ground like a javelin at a figure flying in the air, missing the winged person as they shifted to dodge the attack.

From the ground, taking advantage of the movement provided by the use of her previous jutsu, Akiza flew out of the ground with several kickball-sized rocks surrounding her body like orbiting debris, "Doton: Iwa no Kougeki (Earth Release: Rock Attack)!" Taking aim, she kicked them right at her target one after another. The attacks missed, but Akiza was not deterred as she held her hand out to recall her signature weapon back to herself, "Kaektekuru (Return)!"

Catching the weapon and still sailing through the air at the winged person, now seen as a woman with blue hair, a few facial piercings, and an Akatsuki cloak, Akiza attacked her in the air with the naginata, only to be met with blades of paper from the sleeves of the woman, "Heh… you're attacking the wrong person. I'm not the jinchuuriki. I'm just with him." He tilted her head towards the original point where the Kyuubi had been released, "Have fun dealing with his biju though."

The woman narrowed her amber eyes at Akiza before pushing her back and watching as Akiza flipped down and landed on a rooftop, still looking up at her, "I am not here to take on the Kyuubi. That is the job of another. No, I'm merely here to ensure the evacuation of the outlying areas so that all of the proper measures can be taken to bring the beast down. Do you have any idea how much you have disrupted our plans? The Kyuubi must be sealed last."

"We didn't know that, but we don't care either." Akiza admitted before pointing the blade of her weapon at the blue-haired woman, "Fullmetal and I didn't come here to throw some suicidal wrench into your plans by screwing up your sealing order or something. We came here to finish this, finish you, and make sure you end up with nothing. This is never going to happen again."

"Agreed." The woman said before sharply descending in a dive bomb at Akiza to attack her directly, sending sheets of paper at her like an automatic weapon being fired. In response, Akiza began spinning her weapon like a fan to bat away most of the paper, though pieces began to clump onto her weapon and her hands holding the weapon, "You can't defeat my Shikigami no Mai (Dance of the Formula Paper) with such brutish means."

More and more paper began to stick to Akiza slowly but surely, causing her to abandon her thought of directly defending herself with her bojutsu skills in exchange for actively retreating again. She didn't know what would happen once too much of that stuff stuck to her, but she had seen the woman mix explosive notes in with the regular paper and she didn't want to roll the dice with that.

Catching sight of her, the female Akatsuki member did not let up with her bombardment of paper, only increasing the frequency of the seemingly infinite sheets of paper to assault the former Iwagakure ninja, "I do not see why we're fighting in the first place. You and your jinchuuriki lover only completed the first portion of our own ambition to end war; a dominant show of force with a power that none can match. We want the same thing. Why don't you simply join us?"

That seemed to strike a bit of a chord with Akiza who stopped retreating only to stare at the woman with an indistinguishable look on her face, "You. What is your name?"

"My name is Konan."

"Konan…" Akiza said with her brown bangs shading over her eyes in the rain, "We don't have anything in common the way you think we do. What Fullmetal did in Iwagakure was just supposed to be a deterrent to get me and himself out if we couldn't get away, but he never thought that what he did would bring peace for a second. It's only going to leave a vacuum. As a matter of fact the only thing probably stopping another war from breaking out is the fact that everyone in the world is probably stopping to look and see what happens here." She looked up with a heated glare at Konan, "He is not a terrorist! He doesn't want anything anymore but to be left alone, and if you guys aren't going to do that like we know you aren't then we'll just have to get you out of the way."

"To be left alone?" Konan repeated as if trying to come to terms with what she was just told, "Your lover is a jinchuuriki; a tool that served a purpose but was twisted to be a human weapon by the important shinobi villages in our world. He will never be left alone." She then raised an eyebrow as she heard a laugh from Akiza, "What's funny about anything that is happening right now?

Akiza's green eyes shone as she looked up at her enemy that needed to be defeated for anything to be left for their future, "Nothing… it's just, it's probably a really good thing then that Fullmetal isn't a jinchuuriki anymore isn't it?"

XxX

(With Naruto)

There was a flash of blinding red light, then it hurt like hell, then he probably yelled like a girl for around thirty seconds straight before everything went dark. His first thought when he woke up was that he messed up and actually died, but then realized that unless he died tens of thousands of times in a row it wouldn't have gone down like that. He felt a bit of emptiness inside of himself and felt around on his person rapidly before pulling up his poncho and his shirt to channel chakra.

No seal in sight on his belly.

He let his shirt fall back down and finally realized that the air was permeated with a chakra that he used to think belonged to him. Naruto started laughing quietly to himself, "There." He said, quite satisfied with himself, "That's a promise fulfilled." He started to stand up and saw the massive creature with nine massive wagging tails not too far from where he was, maybe a mile away walking towards Ame, "Man… I forgot that the biju were actually that big."

Well it was time to see just how the almighty Kyuubi was planning on using her first few moments of freedom as Naruto started running down the gigantic fox, taking large intentional strides getting the most of the outside world for the first time in sixteen going on seventeen years. It took longer than he would have liked, but Naruto finally got close enough to start running by Kyuubi's back leg.

Activating his seals on his sandals, Naruto created a cloud beneath his feet and began flying up by Kyuubi's ear, "So how's the freedom?" The turning of the fox's head towards anyone else would probably have scared them into an early grave, but Naruto just couldn't help but grin instead, "So you're not going to eat me or anything are you? I wouldn't go down easy at all if you did."

"_**How could I possibly eat the one that freed me? Besides… simply letting me out of your body should have killed you, but then again you **_**are **_**a Philosopher's Stone."**_

"What the hell was that?" Naruto asked aloud at the voice in his head before realizing that it was Kyuubi's female voice, "That was you? How are you still talking in my head?"

"_**I **_**am**_** the Kyuubi idiot. I can do anything I want to with my power. Or would you rather hear my unattractive voice that I possess in this form out loud? Now is not the time for me to take my other form, there is still work to be done."**_

"You're going to help me?" A nod from the ancient and massive fox of destruction, "Awesome."

"Naruto!" At that point Naruto looked over to the side just in time for a massive magenta toad to land, holding a weapon that looked vaguely like a fork-esque club, "Naruto what are you doing?" On the top of the toad's head stood Jiraiya, looking ready to engage the Kyuubi.

"What I promised I'd do." Naruto replied, "Don't worry about it. Now if you're not going to help me, go away, I'm finishing this." He said without even looking towards Jiraiya as he continued to fly towards Amegakure.

For some reason the rather indifferent manner that Naruto dismissed him with reminded Jiraiya of how Orochimaru dismissed him when he left Konoha for good years ago, "Listen kid. I know I'm probably not your favorite person in the world, but I was trying to keep you from making a mistake." A mistake that was still made in the end, but that wasn't the point, "Are you really just going to walk out here and fight the leader of Akatsuki? How's that going to work?"

Naruto and Kyuubi both stopped in the air and Naruto looked at Jiraiya, as did Kyuubi. Seeing the great beast actually staring him down got a quake out of Jiraiya that he held extremely well given the circumstances. He knew that Naruto and Kyuubi were on good terms but he figured it was an act from the demon in order to get his guard down. They seemed incredibly amicable even now that Kyuubi was outside of her seal.

'How in the world did he manage to pull these things off?' Jiraiya thought to himself.

Once he was done looking at Jiraiya, Naruto shaded his eyes with a hand as he looked towards the main village of Amegakure in the center of the massive lake, "Do you see that giant tower right there in the distance?" He asked Jiraiya, getting a nod for his troubles, "Good." Naruto put on a white glove and snapped his fingers before the very top of the tower burst into flames in an explosive manner, "Think that'll get him out here?"

However a dome of seemingly nothing pushed through the flames and put them out, revealing the tower to be only smoking lightly in the rain.

And from what used to be the top of the largest tower in Amegakure, a large bird with three legs, a drill-like beak, and strange ripple-pattern eyes flew out towards Naruto. In response, Kyuubi roared and released shockwave from the deafening sound that stopped the bird cold in the air. It disappeared in smoke, recalling itself back to where it was summoned from, but from the same smoke, six figures dropped to the ground all wearing black cloaks with red clouds.

'I thought there were only nine members of Akatsuki.' Naruto and even Jiraiya thought at the same time, 'Did they put in more members after the others were killed?'

"You have no idea what you've done, do you?" One of the bodies asked. One with spiky orange hair and a face full of piercings. There was one large bald man, one large man with orange hair tied in a short ponytail, another was a skinny man with a long ponytail, and the last man was tall and had long orange hair that went down to his calves. All of them had the Akatsuki cloak, piercings, and those strange ripple-pattern eyes as if it were some kind of team uniform, "You've chosen to stand against God."

"Pein I presume." Jiraiya said, still standing atop his large magenta toad, having done his homework on Amegakure due to contacts prior to this little episode, "So you're Akatsuki's leader. I guess having the Kyuubi march straight towards my village would draw me out as well."

"You would be correct on that assumption." The spiky-haired Pein said as the one with the long ponytail went through a few hand-seals, "But your judgment to come here was simply dead wrong Jiraiya-sensei. Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!"

In a large puff of smoke, a towering three-headed dog rushed out of it towards Jiraiya and the toad he was on, "Gamaken!" Jiraiya said as the large toad lifted its club to prepare to defend itself.

"**I'll try my-!"** Gamaken's response was cut off when nine deadly tails stabbed into the dog and lifted it into the air before ripping it apart, **"-Well… nevermind."**

Jiraiya turned towards the Kyuubi to see Naruto standing on the beast's head as the pieces of Pein's summon animal fell to the ground around them, "Kid…"

"I'm mad at you. Really mad at you for not letting me go when I wanted to." Naruto said, sparing Jiraiya a glance before turning back towards the six newcomers, "But I'm not going to just sit by at a time like this. I came here to fight them, to deal with them. After this I want you to leave me alone ero-sennin. This is it."

Jiraiya knew of the eyes that their adversaries had and though it confused him, he recognized them as a former student of his. Picking sides between his two former students, he could obviously see which one he wanted to side with, "Nagato… you were either going to save or destroy the world. I think you've selected what you've chosen to do." And while he didn't know what Naruto's motivation was, from his desire to be left alone it didn't seem to be one or the other. That was more than good enough for Jiraiya at the moment, "Fine kid. We'll discuss this later."

"No we won't." Naruto replied flippantly before fixing the six enemies with a harrowing glare, "So you think you're God huh? Well 'God', meet Kyuubi-chan. She's wanted to meet the head of Akatsuki for the last four years." Kyuubi let out a roar that crumbled rock beneath everyone's feet.

XxX

(Jushiro vs. Orochimaru)

The fight between the two was wrecking the portion of landscape available to them both. A massive tidal wave of snakes with swords sticking out of their mouths flew towards Jushiro who ran directly towards the wave that seemed that if it had been made of water it would have been more appropriate due to its size.

"Dokubutsu Kiba no Kabe (Wall of Poisonous Fangs)!"

At that moment, every snake in the moving wall of snakes fired the swords at Jushiro from their mouths all at once. With his alchemic cestus on his right hand, Jushiro slammed it down on the ground in a hammer-fist and formed a large rolling ball of earth around himself, a ball that kept growing in size and picking up speed as spikes began to form from it. It blocked the swords and crashed directly into the snake wall before exploding catastrophically.

Pieces of rock and snake parts fell from the sky all around the area, hitting against the ground with loud thumps and splats. Jushiro stood up off of the ground, covered in his own blood from the war of attrition with Orochimaru and looked around for a sign of the man, "Come on! Come on snake sannin! Is that all you've got? Kill me! Kill me like you killed my family! You can't do it can you? You can't kill someone that's actually prepared to fight you back!"

"I wished to have Sasuke-kun's body. But the prospect of immortality is too important. Sharingan can come later… true immortality will come now!"

The ground rumbled and broke apart beneath Jushiro's feet, forcing him to dodge as from the hole that had formed came a giant white snake made up of many smaller snakes with a monstrous head that had a pointed chin. It hissed at Jushiro and stared him down like the predator that it was.

He didn't need to be told exactly what that was, "I don't know how you did this to yourself. I don't care how you did this to yourself either." Jushiro said as he switched weapons back to his chakram and chain, "You can be as big and as ugly as you want to be Orochimaru. When I kill you it won't matter what you look like… they don't differentiate in hell!"

"You talk so tough boy." Orochimaru said in his massive snake body, "But you have no idea the depths of which you are trying to toy with. You'll have all the time in the world to understand though once you're a part of me… or should I say once I'm a part of you. All of you."

"Fuck off!" Cursing Orochimaru vehemently, Jushiro slung out his weapon of choice at his utterly unnatural enemy. The only thing that he wanted to make a part of Orochimaru was the blade at the end of his chain, right when it buzzsawed through Orochimaru's neck.

The attack missed and Orochimaru slithered at him faster than any serpent Jushiro had ever seen move before. He dodged a bite of Orochimaru's jaws by a hair and used his free hand to grab a hold of a portion of the snake creature's neck, causing a blast to emanate from the point that was grabbed.

The small explosion took out a large portion of the circumference around the neck and Orochimaru fell to the ground in a heap with blood pouring from the blast wound. Jushiro knew that it wouldn't be that easy and he wanted the bastard pulverized and utterly eradicated from the world regardless.

However his follow-up attempt was cut short when he found his body unable to move. Jushiro froze right in his tracks before he could use the tattoos on the palm of his hands to force another explosion to wipe out the rest of Orochimaru's godforsaken body. He then noticed a vapor moving up from the copious amounts of spilled blood on the ground and even on his hands at the moment. The rain wasn't even removing a single stain from his hands and his head was beginning to swim.

"What the hell is this?" Jushiro thought as he couldn't even move his hands from the position he had them in to check them over, "He didn't touch me with anything… so why can't I move?"

"I'm sorry boy…" Orochimaru drawled slyly as his snake body reformed only to show that he had been playing possum, "My blood while in this form is highly poisonous. Right now you won't be able to move a muscle with my toxin seeping into your body and moving through your system. It was a good effort though. Your body should be the healthiest one I've taken yet."

Jushiro glared at Orochimaru hatefully, though he was frozen solid and unable to budge an inch, "I'm going to kill you just so you know. This isn't over yet." He said as Orochimaru's mouth opened widely, "I'll kill you from the inside out if I have to!"

Orochimaru only laughed and slithered around Jushiro as if to make him truly think about what was about to happen, "I win. I'll devour you and wherever you've hidden the Philosopher's Stone on your person all at once! Don't agonize over your fate boy, both the stone and you will be a part of the perfect being for all eternity!" With that, Orochimaru's maw closed entirely around Jushiro's form and swallowed him whole into his body.

XxX

(Akiza vs. Konan)

Akiza had taken cover within one of the buildings populating the area to avoid Konan's seemingly infinite amount of paper that could take the form of anything she wished it to. It was just her luck that she'd wind up fighting someone that was her exact opposite and had the means to take advantage of such.

Konan was a long-range fighter, and with her ability to attack from the air it was going to be a major chore to reach her the way she was now. Still she couldn't hide forever.

And right when she figured that, her building was rocked with an explosion, telling her that it was more or less time to get out of there until it went up in flames. After exiting the building, she looked up in the skies and saw Konan there with wings of paper looking down at her calmly in the rain.

'You think I can't reach you with anything other than a projectile attack don't you?' Akiza thought to herself, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her cool. She'd need to be able to concentrate if she actually wanted to be able to fight to the best of her ability against a strong enemy like this, "Hirogeru (Extend)!" Sekki Kiritateru's blade grew outward and she took a great swipe at Konan in the air, forcing her to dodge, "You aren't going to avoid this one!"

With that being said, Akiza forced Konan to more or less dance in the air in order to avoid being shredded up out of the sky like an onion. Her midair dexterity was extremely impressive and incredibly graceful, but then again if she was prepared to face the shinobi powerhouses that were jinchuuriki she had to be able to dodge appropriately, even against her precise aiming and speed with her combined stabs and slashes that seemed like blurs.

Eventually though, Akiza stabbed Konan right through the torso and everything seemed to come to a stop before Akiza got a smirk on her face and unleashed a lethal combination of slashes. But instead of cutting up a human's body it turned out to be paper, as she turned Konan into confetti, "What? A clone made of paper?" She probably had never been aiming at the real Konan at all, something she realized too late when she turned around and saw paper airplanes with explosive tag writing on them, burning down to explode.

A gasp left her lips and she quickly drew a transmutation circle on the ground with the bottom of the re-shrunken pole-arm in her grasp, transmuting a small bump to snap up out of the ground and shoot her into the air, out of the range of the explosion beneath her.

Above her though, the real Konan rode on a large paper airplane and unleashed many slips of paper from the bottom of the airplane like a payload that cut into Akiza like shuriken. The blue-haired woman watched her younger adversary fall back down to the ground and crash through the roof of a building below. She circled above like a vulture to make sure that Akiza was good and dead when the blade of Sekki Kiritateru extended up from the building below right at her again.

Konan was able to dodge, but when she did she saw the blade plastered with explosive tags that then detonated in the air. She was able to abort the paper airplane she was on as flaming debris fell around her, but from below she saw Akiza running up the extended pole of her weapon before jumping off of it to deliver a kick that knocked Konan back up into the air.

The kick sent her spiraling into the sky before she was able to stop herself with the creation of more paper wings. Dabbing at her lip, Konan felt blood and simply wiped it on her cloak as Akiza slid back down to the ground on the regressing pole of Sekki Kiritateru. That was a rather inventive way to launch an attack, and that kick had a lot of power behind it. Befitting of her element to say the very least. No wonder she could swing Sekki Kiritateru so easily even when it was that size.

She would not allow the girl to get that close again. As long as she stayed well out of Akiza's range of attack she was not going to be defeated no matter how durable she seemed to be. She could pick her apart all day from afar without ever having to look her in the eye.

The sound of electricity surging directed Konan's attention to a place behind her and below as a blue and white hound of lightning flew through the air tethered by a bolt at the tail end of it, coming right at her. A timely dodge and she was able to see the source of the technique; Kakashi Hatake on the ground below. Her eyes looked around to see if there were any other unwelcome guest but in her search she found that she had lost track of Akiza again. A glance back to Kakashi found him to be nowhere to be found as well. They could have all been anywhere in the settlement below.

This was not a great turn of events for her. She needed to keep her eyes open. The cockroaches just kept coming out of the woodwork. But as long as she kept them from interfering with Pein and his work it didn't really matter. He had to find a way to subdue the Kyuubi without sealing it in the statue at the moment. Compared to that, two rather powerful shinobi could be dealt with.

* * *

**Chapter complete and one step closer to the end ladies and germs. And now that I've gotten this far and have committed to writing this thing out the rest of the way I feel that I can freely admit that I don't like this story. In hindsight I started with a terrible cliché and it only kept snowballing from there. As a matter of fact I don't think I can tolerate reading back my first 30 chapters or so, it is completely unreadable for me. From that point I can see my writing markedly improve bit by bit. It's really a timeline of how much I used to suck back in February 2010 at putting together a story.**

**Ah, whatever. All this insight b.s. nobody cares about is wasting time or space. Either or. Probably both. Why am I still typing?**

**Until the next time folks. It'll be one of the last for this story.**

**Kenchi out.**


	68. Crescendo in the Rain

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did then I would have given Ed a little more height over time. I mean damn, it was a running joke and all, and I've personally never been short, but being that small compared to everyone else around him had to suck.

**Chapter 68: Crescendo in the Rain**

* * *

A battle between himself, Kyuubi, and the head of Akatsuki. For four years Naruto had dreamed of this moment, of him overcoming the odds, beating down the person that was out for his life and his biju, and ending the world's troubles in one move.

Six months changed that quickly. At this point he was out to end this bastard simply because he was tired of all of this. He wanted to be left alone, and as long as Pein wanted the Kyuubi he would never be left alone, even if he took Akiza to his special place to live together.

It had to end in Amegakure. And he was not in the mood to play around any longer. It hadn't been 'ha-ha' time in quite some while for that young man. More like the six closest months to hell that one could perceive. Some solace could be taken from the simple fact of the matter that Pein simply could not defeat him, even if he just so happened to be strong enough to defeat both Naruto and Kyuubi at the same time and still have enough chakra left to take on Jiraiya as well.

"To come here as you are, it reeks of desperation Kyuubi jinchuuriki." The long-ponytailed Pein said as he and his five other cohorts stared down Naruto atop Kyuubi and Jiraiya atop Gamaken, "I don't know what trickery this is, to have the physical embodiment of your biju outside of your body, but I doubt you can hold whatever jutsu it is for very long."

"It's not a jutsu you idiot." Jiraiya said, one part proud and two parts shocked that Naruto managed to somehow pull off what he accomplished while staying alive and in fighting shape, "The Kyuubi is no longer a part of him. They're separate entities if you couldn't tell. There's nothing tethering them together at all."

The eyes of all five of the ripple-pattern eyed Akatsuki members widened at hearing such a thing, reflecting the surprise that came from such a statement, "That's impossible." Pein assured him, "Upon losing their tailed beast a jinchuuriki's body can't compensate for the loss of chakra that had become one with them. So how in the world is he standing there if he's separated the Kyuubi from his body."

"Because I'm immortal jackass." Naruto said with a twitching eye while Kyuubi laughed inside of his head, "That's why you can't win here either. No matter what you can't beat us."

Instead of merely questioning Naruto's statement, all of the enemies with their strange eyes glared at Naruto hatefully, "How arrogant of you to believe that you're truly immortal. I will have to show you that you are a false deity. The only real God here is me."

That struck a personal chord with Naruto. He was no deity, he wasn't anything divine even with immortality to his credit. He felt tainted by way of his obtaining immortality. It wasn't anything to take pride in. It wasn't some sort of pissing contest with this megalomaniacal lunatic. It was just a fact. He was immortal.

Naruto sneered at the ponytail-clad Pein and clapped his hands before thrusting them out directly at him, spraying Philosopher's Stone enhanced, alchemically generated lightning from his body's own atoms with the force of a storm that singed and tore through the ground.

The six bodies on the ground moved to dodge with the exception of one; the bulky ninja with the short ponytail. He merely held out his hands as if he were calling forth a defense of some sort. If he was or not it was never really known as the lightning smashed through him with a ruthless intensity, rending the body nearly indistinguishable from what it once was as it was nearly charred black from the intense strikes of electricity.

"…Why didn't the Fuujutsu Kyuuin (Blocking Technique Absorption Seal) absorb that attack?" The long ponytailed Pein muttered after watching the man get struck down, "It didn't matter how powerful that jutsu was. It shouldn't have injured him."

"I've been saying this for the last four years and nobody seems to get just what it means." Naruto said, utter dislike clear in his eyes as he looked down at his remaining enemies, "It's not a ninjutsu damn it… it's alchemy!"

"Gamaken go!" Jiraiya shouted, deciding to advance now that it was evident that with Naruto's attack, this team could be beaten, "That's one down! Five to go!"

The spiky haired member of the group held out both of his hands at the advancing toad while the others took positions behind him for protection, "Shinra Tensei (Heavenly Subjugation of the Omnipresent God)!" An invisible force moved out from the body that seemed to knock the rain away from its path. But when Jiraiya's large toad hit it, it was thrown back violently.

Even with the battle at hand, Naruto had to marvel at the sheer power from that technique, 'He threw Gamaken like he was nothing. Gamaken was charging him and he just sent him flying like a rock.'

"…Nagato…" Jiraiya said as Gamaken returned to his home due to his injuries. He had been protected by the massive toad who had sacrificed his own body to keep him safe from harm, "You can't live past this day. You've been trying to tear the world apart."

"I've been trying to fix the world." Pein said derisively towards Jiraiya, "Only by realizing the terror and pain of destruction will the world know true pain and the futility of fighting wars."

'How are there six of him?' Jiraiya thought to himself, "This is no clone jutsu Nagato! What did you do?"

The five remaining bodies of Nagato's rejoined in their formation, trying to keep a very long distance from Naruto and Kyuubi as well as Jiraiya, "I believe I've already said this. These are my Six Paths of Pein."

"Five paths." Naruto remarked, converting his auto-mail arm into its long rifle form, "You've got five. And it's about to be less than that."

A chuckle came from the mouth of Pein as the large bald body of his threw its cloak aside to reveal that it had six arms that turned into cannons, "Your alchemy isn't nearly as special as the eyes of a God boy."

Naruto still didn't feel like making any biting remarks and Kyuubi wasn't moving to fight yet. This was as much Naruto's chance to vent his frustrations on the leader of Akatsuki as hers and he was the reason she was even out right then.

With the metal of his arm still crackling with alchemic energy from the Philosopher's Stone, Naruto took aim at seemingly all of the Pein bodies and narrowed his eyes at them all, "Sogekihei Sandan: Jidou (Shot Sniper: Automatic)!"

His arm morphed into a multi-barreled rotating turret that began opening fire with countless metal shells onto the separate bodies, but the strange bald man's body just stood there, letting the shells hit him without fazing him as if he were some kind of juggernaut. A device opened up on the top of the man's head as he prepared to fire a blast of pure chakra at Naruto and Kyuubi's head.

"Kid, move!" Jiraiya shouted right before the blast fired directly at him. He could feel the sheer chakra emitting before it ever even fired. Damn it, was he going to have to call the elders for this one?

XxX

(Akiza vs. Konan)

After her last successful attack on Konan, Akiza fell back into the village below for a retreat only to get a strange surprise when she started ducking from house to house to keep her movements concealed.

"Sakura?"

A familiar head of pink hair was honestly the absolute last thing that she expected to see in the proverbial (and almost literal) foxhole with her in the middle of enemy territory. Yet here she sat, both of them ducking in the kitchen of a small home for the time being as Sakura suddenly appeared, grabbed her hand, and dragged her into this hiding place.

"Long time no see." Sakura said weakly in response to the stunned look on Akiza's face before she gave her a quick hug, "Thank Kami… you really are alright." She couldn't really feel it because at this point she was soaked to the bone by being out in the rain for so long, but Akiza's cloak was being stained with Sakura's relieved tears, "No one knew what happened after Iwagakure… we thought that you and Naruto might have been killed, but we still saw your message and decided to come anyway, no matter what."

Akiza's eyes widened at that revalation. Yes, she considered Sakura a good friend. And if she were to be honest, her best friend as a matter of fact. The few months she spent in Konoha, working with Team 7 and seeing them every day made her see them as more precious than anyone she had been around in Iwa by far.

For some reason, Sakura crying got tears to start rolling down her cheeks as well. Maybe it was just the entire weight of the stress from the last six months finally bearing down on her? Either way they resembled normal girls instead of lethal warriors for a few moments while they gave themselves a bit of time to let it all out.

Eventually, Akiza pulled away first, still set on bringing Konan down from the sky once and for all. She wiped her eyes and sniffled before heading to a window to try and look outside and locate Konan to coordinate another attack, "Right. Well for now, we've got the S-rank paper bitch outside to deal with." She didn't know what Sakura could do to reach Konan though as to Akiza's recollection the pink-haired kunoichi didn't really have many attacks with range other than the fireball she learned from Sasuke.

"Kakashi-sensei is out there trying to scout her out now." Sakura said with a look of determination coming over her own face at remembering that her sensei was outside fighting another Akatsuki member after already taking care of Kisame.

Well that was no good at all as far as Akiza was concerned, "If Kakashi is fighting her he's going to need some help because this woman isn't some lightweight here." The two girls exited through the back of the house and kept their eyes peeled towards the sky to find Konan before she could see them.

It didn't take long, and despite his marked disadvantage, Kakashi seemed to be producing a steady barrage of shuriken into the sky that even with his Sharingan tracking her movements he couldn't pin her down to take advantage of.

Letting out a scoff and a small smile at how reliable Kakashi always seemed to be, Akiza held up Sekki Kiritateru and twisted it upside down to stab the blade into the ground before hopping onto the tip of the pole, "Sakura, we need to get her to the ground somehow. I'll help Kakashi try to get her down. You just keep shadowing the fight from down here. The moment you see an opening you take it, okay mini-Tsunade?"

Sakura nodded and ran off to find a better area to keep herself hidden in closer to Konan, trusting Akiza's plan. She wouldn't miss the moment she got the opportunity, "Don't die up there, okay?"

Akiza let out an airy laugh at what she considered a joke at this point and gave Sakura an ok sign before activating her weapon's special ability, "I can't die Sakura. I'm kind of immortal. Hirogeru (Extend)!" With her command to her notorious ninja tool, the blade of the weapon extended swiftly and elevated her in the air to Konan's level to try and interject herself back into the battle.

Sekki Kiritateru pushed her up past the homes of the village and into the sky. When she knew that she had Konan's attention, that she knew she wouldn't be able to avoid once she exposed herself, she jumped off of pole of her weapon into the air and let it retract to normal size before calling it to her grasp.

She did so because Konan had once again sent a rush of paper flying at her.

Having already experienced not too long ago just what would occur when she tried to slash and swipe through Konan's paper, Akiza switched tactics and chose to throw her weapon directly at her like a javelin.

The speed and power of the deadly sharp legendary weapon punched straight through the amassing paper bits flying Akiza's way and went straight for Konan herself.

The paper angel dodged the devastating attack and simply stared impassively at the kunoichi falling towards her until she noticed that Akiza's hands were stuck on a hand-seal, "Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Dragon Jutsu)!"

Konan looked down in instant alarm at the rumbling sound of a massive dragon made of the minerals of the earth flying up with its maw open right at her.

Still, even though it was evident that Akiza could control its trajectory, Konan was still able to dodge it, letting it fly past her further into the air, "Is that really the best that you can do? Hatake's fireballs and shuriken attacks from cover on the ground were better than that."

What she didn't notice was that the dragon had Akiza's halberd stuck in its head from when she threw it, and the halberd had a few distance alchemy tags attached to it.

The tags let off their glow and the earth dragon was then alchemically manipulated into an orb around Konan that stopped moving through the air and started falling from the sky with Konan stuck inside of it. With an amazing crash, the ball of rock hit the ground, smashing a home into rubble.

"She had to have died from that." Akiza commented as she summoned her halberd back to her mid-fall and forced it to extend to ease her descent to the ground as she slid down the pole of it, "I don't care who you are. That thing was a falling stone deathtrap. She's dead. There's no way she isn't dead."

As she descended, from a spot out of sight, Sakura ran towards the rock orb that Konan was trapped inside of along with Kakashi who placed his hand on the sphere, a serious look on his face, "You know that she isn't dead inside of here don't you?" He said to Akiza right as she reached the ground and ran over to them.

While she had kept repeating to herself that Konan couldn't have survived a fall like that trapped inside of her stone prison, Akiza knew better. She could have cushioned her fall on the inside by surrounding herself with as much paper as possible, putting it between herself and the stone shell.

So she was still alive if only for the moment. Her oxygen in there would run out sooner than later and if she had any explosive tags inside of there with her they would kill her if she detonated them to try and blast her way out (something that would fail regardless from the hardness of the stone orb), but it was stupid to just assume that a full-fledged member of Akatsuki would die that easily. Konan was probably formulating a way out.

The blue-haired woman had underestimated her from the outset. Even if Akiza didn't share her skill, she had more brute power within her than Konan could even imagine, she had backup apparently, and she was close enough skill-wise to defeat her.

Once again, as if it were a theme in the life of Naruto Uzumaki and those touched by him since his days as a ninja began; the sheer versatility and danger of alchemy had been underestimated. And once again another enemy paid the price.

Akiza nodded stiffly and Sakura pulled her gloves tight on her hands as she prepared to pound the orb and reduce it to rubble with her strength-magnifying technique, but Akiza stayed her hand and shook her head, "That'll only let her out. If she survived the fall she'll survive that too. Let me." She started drawing a transmutation circle on the ground around the orb and stood back, "This is for Fullmetal. For you and your comrades hunting him like game. This is what you get. Just like the others."

She slammed the bottom of her weapon down at the edge of the circle and her own body crackled with red energy to signify that she was drawing upon the power of the Philosopher's Stone to increase the strength of her transmutation.

Sakura and Kakashi watched in awe and shock as due to Akiza's transmutation, a hole opened up around the orb that dropped it deep down below into the darkness. All three of them just stared down simply waiting for the sound of the crash below to echo back up to signify the orb that imprisoned Konan hitting the ground, "How deep is that hole supposed to be?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know." Akiza said as the rain poured down on them all, "Deep enough though."

"Deep enough for what?" Kakashi inquired, pulling his hitae-ate down over his eye to conserve as much of his chakra as he could since there seemed to be a down moment.

"Deep enough so that even her spirit can't ever get out."

One transmutation later and the pit was closed off as if it had never been opened in the first place.

All three of them simply stood in the same spot looking at the point where the battle had come to its conclusion. At least this part of the battle anyway.

From there though, Kakashi looked up at Akiza who then locked eyes with him, "So… what happens now?"

"We find Fullmetal. Or Sasuke first if you want." She replied as she started walking in the direction where she could feel the Kyuubi's chakra from, "By the time we get both of them this will probably be over. And then we can take things from there."

XxX

(Jushiro vs. Orochimaru)

Where was he?

It wasn't outside any longer. He couldn't feel the rain falling on his head.

Yes, that was right. Orochimaru's white snake blood was a powerful paralysis agent and the bastard wound up swallowing him whole. He was trying to take his body.

Damn it.

There were no walls and the entire place seemed to be inky darkness. Fitting for being inside of Orochimaru, if that was indeed where he was. It honestly looked like an entirely different plane of existence.

The ground was pink and fleshy like the interior of something's body and all over the place he could see different bodies trapped in the substance that comprised the floor.

"_You lose boy…"_

As Orochimaru's voice echoed all around, Jushiro's legs began to be engulfed by the pink, fleshy floors that began to cover him from the lower body upwards. Despite his attempts to struggle, Jushiro didn't seem to have any of his weapons on his person, "What in the hell is this? I can't cut myself free!"

"_Kukukukuku! You can't defeat my technique. This is the secret to my immortality! I will take your body, and the Philosopher's Stone along with you to obtain true immortality! Thank you for the gift! You and your family wound up being useful to me with your inane alchemy experiments after all."_

"You're absorbing me and the Philosopher's Stone?" Jushiro asked, slightly bewildered by the revelation before he began to start laughing, "That's… that's the best thing I've ever heard. This is the greatest day of my life!" He started cackling wildly, "To think… after all these years… I could kill you. I could take your life by _giving_ you exactly what you wanted! Dad… would be laughing his ass off right now." A tear fell from his eye as the fleshy prison continued to climb up his body.

"_Kill me? How in the world do you plan on doing that? You're a part of me now dear Jushiro. Accept it. You and the Philosopher's Stone are now one with my soul."_

"Your soul…" Jushiro said as the fleshy container climbed up to the top of his chest and reached the amulet where he kept the red stone jammed into during battle, "That's the funniest thing about this whole thing. Because if you want to bond the stone to your body… well Naruto told me something really important about that-."

As he said this, the stone began to glow brightly and cover the entire mental plane that Orochimaru used to possess new hosts in blinding light.

"-If you're one with the stone that makes you one with the souls that comprise the stone."

Orochimaru slowly felt control of the realm slipping from his grasp, as if his ability to dominate the plane was being strained by the sheer presence of others, _"W-What is going on here? What did you do boy?"_

"It's not what I did." The light faded and it revealed that Jushiro was now free, but completely covering the whole realm there were disembodied, deformed, warped, and loudly wailing spirits all radiating the sheer power of the Philosopher's Stone, "It's what you're trying to do; take control of all of these souls at once. You barely have the chakra to finish your jutsu on me. You aren't going to get through enough of them to take full control. So do you know what that means?"

Before he could really answer, Jushiro's body faded from the realm and the entire place shifted to an endless red wall of wailing ghostly faces on all sides that surrounded a snakish embodiment of Orochimaru, drawing ever-closer to engulfing his body, _"No! What is this! I am the one in control! This is my world! I am Orochimaru! I will be immortal!"_ He screamed as there was no way out and his soul was encumbered by the others.

XxX

(The Real World)

Jushiro stood over the corpse of Orochimaru's white snake body, staring at the Philosopher's Stone in his hand as it glowed red, "…It means that instead of making the stone one with you, you're one with the stone. Now you're just another soul that comprises the vital makeup of the devil's tool, because one soul is equivalent to another. No matter how special you think you are… you're really not." He tossed it in the air and caught it in his fist before placing it back in its safe place out of sight and thought of anyone.

No one else would learn of this tool or its power. It would die with him and would end with Naruto and Akiza. Orochimaru's foolish ambition and his blind arrogant belief that he could simply take it for himself with no chance of losing anything in return resulted in his downfall.

Trying to ignore the horrific pain of his injuries incurred with his death duel against Orochimaru, Jushiro started limping towards the battle where he knew his brother was fighting. He still had to make sure that this entire ordeal with the Akatsuki came to an end.

Still, he spared a second and looked up at the sky, letting the rain fall down on his face and cool him. It was calming. Liberating. A bit validating to know that his father's chosen science finally managed to do in his murderer, even ten years later. That he as his parents' son finally procured vengeance against the monster that so greedily claimed their lives for his own megalomania.

"Better late than never, right dad? Mom?"

XxX

(Naruto vs. Pein)

Jiraiya could only stare at the explosion let off by the body of Pein that seemed to be more machine than man. A powerful blast of chakra emitted from a cannon that had formed on the body and collided off of the head of the Kyuubi's head where Naruto was also standing.

'Come on kid… no. No, I thought you dodged the biggest bullet that you'd ever have sent at you after the Iwa incident.' He thought to himself. Jiraiya felt himself getting angry. His first student was trying to destroy his second one. Trying to take everything from him. Trying to destroy the world, "Nagato! I can't let you live any longer past this day!"

"You say that as if you have the ability to stop me sensei." One of the Pein bodies said as the machine-man body with six arms reverted to normal for only a moment before choosing to take aim at Jiraiya, "You trained a God that can fell an 'immortal' and the most powerful of the tailed beasts. You helped to secure the future of this world. Feel proud."

"Well, he did secure the future of this world anyway."

Pein and Jiraiya started paying attention to the head of the Kyuubi again as the smoke from the previous shot of chakra started clearing, revealing a very ticked off looking Kyuubi and Naruto who looked completely unscathed.

Pein narrowed his eyes at Naruto who didn't seem hurt at all, "I know that blast hit you or it wouldn't have exploded. You shouldn't be in one piece right now. What did you do?"

"Nothing." Naruto admitted, kneeling down on Kyuubi's head and rubbing the fur on it in an attempt to try and calm her down from the growling that would have stricken the fear of painful death into the heart of anyone with common sense, "And Ero-sennin did secure the future of this world… because he trained me. And I'm going to stop you. Now it's our turn. Aim well Kyuubi-chan." He finished, getting a rather nasty grin out of the gigantic fox beneath him that began generating a massive amount of chakra in front of her mouth.

Jiraiya's eyes widened at the sight and he immediately began fleeing for the safest place in the area, behind or beside the Kyuubi, 'The Kyuubi is about to fire a Bijudama (Tailed Beast Ball)?'

She _was_ about to fire a Bijudama, until her senses began to tingle and she held back off of firing the attack.

There had been something confusing her since the moment that Pein had shown himself… or themselves.

Kyuubi could sense Pein's energy, but there was something strange about it. It was as if it wasn't being emitted by the bodies themselves. The chakra seemed to be relayed to them and they permeated with it from contact. She was finally able to determine the fact that the chakra was being sent to them from one particular place, _"__**Naruto-kun… your enemy isn't before you. His chakra… it's coming from that tower.**__"_

'Which tower?' Naruto thought back through their telepathic line, 'Ame is full of them.'

"_**The one you attacked when the battle began to send a message to our friend to come out and play.**__"_ It was a wonder how the flames from Naruto's initial attack were put out so quickly and easily. That explained it. They protected that tower so readily and were so quick to keep it safe because it was absolutely vital. Whatever, or whoever was in there was the source of all of this, _"__**Destroy it and this will all end.**__"_

Destroy it and this will all end.

That was the best thing Naruto had heard anyone say to him in a long, long time, "Cover me Kyuubi-chan." Naruto held out his right hand and formed a Rasengan that slowly began to burn orange and bright yellow, "It's time to finish this off."

Instead of waiting for Naruto's attack, the remaining bodies of Pein prepared to attack Naruto directly, one preparing another attempt at a summoning jutsu while the others directed attacks of their own.

Jiraiya held tightly to one of Kyuubi's legs as she chose to swipe her nine tails all about, kicking up a torrential wind that kept the separate enemy bodies from advancing forward.

The former body of Yahiko took refuge behind the mechanical man body that had dug into the ground to keep from being pushed back and lifted one hand with a small black orb in it, "You may be the Kyuubi, but you should know that the powers of the Rikudou Sennin are what caused you to be in the first place. You are mine by right."

Hearing that struck a chord with Naruto and he grit his teeth in anger, the ball of energy in his hand beginning to surge out of control before Naruto reigned its power back in. He couldn't afford to lose his control of the technique yet, "She doesn't belong to anyone…"

"Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere)!"

Like a speeding missile propelled by the wind that Kyuubi had kicked up, Jiraiya hurtled directly into the mechanical Pein body and slammed the spinning blue orb of chakra right into it. The force of the attack sent the large body flying and slamming back into the Yahiko-Pein to disrupt his whatever his next move may have been, "Your abilities made you arrogant and twisted Nagato! The power of the Rinnegan should have inspired you to save and change the world for the better!"

"This isn't even close to being over Jiraiya-sensei." Pein said through Yahiko's body as the others all chose to leap onto Jiraiya and dispose of him swiftly, "The price you pay when you trifle with God is steep."

Meanwhile Naruto had heard more than enough from the peanut gallery when it came to listening to Pein speak, as if his victory would never be in doubt. As if nothing an exceedingly powerful ninja like Jiraiya, plus himself _and the Kyuubi_ could do would stop him because of his eyes and the power that came with them.

Well if he was God he could block this next attack directly on his person couldn't he? That was something that God could do. God would see this coming. God would know exactly what Naruto was about to do, and it wouldn't even phase him.

But he couldn't because while the Rinnegan could see chakra, alchemy didn't use chakra. So as far as Pein could see, the Rasengan in Naruto's had was just colored differently. He was too far away to feel anything otherwise. Jiraiya was as well. He had no idea that Naruto might as well have been holding a miniature sun in the palm of his hand, but the Philosopher's Stone made the impossible possible in regards to the abilities of Naruto's alchemy.

Nagato… or Pein, whatever his name was. He was no God. He was just someone with power that lost himself to it. Just like all of the others.

"Rasenenten (Spiraling Scorching Sun)!"

Naruto's Rasengan was a Rasengan in shape only. He simply needed the power of the perpetual motion the jutsu created to form a base for his nuclear fusion. Naruto pushed the ball away from himself directly at the tallest tower in Amegakure and it shot towards it like a rocket.

There wasn't anything that could be done to stop the attack, and when it reached the highest point in the hidden village, so far above the ground but right where it needed to be, Naruto snapped his fingers and used his flame alchemy as a rudimentary form of detonation on the hazardous technique he had sent out.

The citizens of Amegakure, were they not sent to emergency shelters the moment the Kyuubi was felt, would have borne witness to a white-hot explosion directly above them that melted the metal that comprised the outskirts of many of their towers that they called home. They would have been blinded by the sheer flash of light it created, and they would have all been horribly burned by the intensity of its heat.

For Nagato or Pein, who was at the very epicenter with nowhere to go, no way to defend himself with all of his chakra plugged into his extra bodies fighting the real battle, he was incinerated, too quickly to feel pain or to even realize what had befallen him. But Gods didn't die in battle, did they?

He never even got the chance to come to terms with the fact that he was nothing close to God. His own mortality was just as abundant as anyone else's. His entire body and the Rinnegan, the eyes of a God, vanished into nothing.

Jiraiya had been prepared to accept his own death. He hadn't even drawn upon his ultimate technique due to the overwhelming feeling of watching Naruto deal with Nagato all on his own. It seemed like Naruto didn't need his help for a moment.

Still he felt the need to interject when he saw what couldn't have been a simply jutsu if Nagato had been planning on using it to stop Naruto and the Kyuubi at once. He acted. The bodies all retaliated to take his life. He was willing to accept this as a ninja that had lived as long as him.

But the end never came.

And the bodies all fell to the ground lifeless as it seemed that a sunrise seemed to make itself seen in the skies above Amegakure for the first time that he had ever seen for himself. Only it wasn't a sunrise. It was his latest pupil's attack that he had loosely caught the name of as it was fired, "…Rasenenten (Spiraling Scorching Sun)…" And as he witnessed the sheer magnitude of the technique he had to let out a few laughs, "He finished it. *laughs* He actually finished his own old man's jutsu… with alchemy…"

There was something poetic about something like that. Finishing a ninjutsu with an element that had absolutely nothing to do with ninjutsu or even chakra at all. What a roundabout concept… with a terrible result.

He looked up at the head of the Kyuubi where he could see Naruto staring at his own handiwork. Naruto had seen the entire move unfold. It wasn't like he had to worry about going blind when the Philosopher's Stone could fix his injury if he was even close enough to the flash to suffer such a fate.

"Naruto."

Naruto turned around and towards the ground only to see someone that had been close to him in his time back in Konoha. He dropped to the ground to come face-to-face with this person, "Sasuke."

Sasuke looked extremely battle-weary, but he was still standing and apparently victorious, "…Naruto you were right. If I stayed around you enough I would get my chance at Itachi… and I did."

Naruto nodded stiffly. It was clear that Sasuke had won, and now there seemed to be something missing. He knew the feeling, "I won too… it's over." He spared a glance at Kyuubi who seemed to smirk down on him, getting him to smile right back up at her, "It's all over. I can't even believe it."

"So are you coming back to Konoha?" And that was the question of the hour. Though he had expected it to come from Jiraiya first instead of Sasuke the way that it had. Still it was something that needed to be addressed, "You know that we miss you guys."

A hand set itself on Naruto's shoulder and he turned around to see a very beaten up and gravely injured Jushiro standing there. Hurt, but seemingly happy, "Yeah, come on runt. You've got to be there for me and Haku-chan's wedding. And you're going to be an uncle. Besides, when you and Akiza have brats I want to be their cool uncle to spoil them rotten."

It seemed like everyone had shown up there now. Sasuke, Kakashi, Sakura, Jiraiya was standing in the background, and then there was Akiza trying to keep herself in the background. Still, Kakashi pointed up at the proverbial elephant in the room in the Kyuubi who was standing patiently, "Uh, Naruto. What about that?"

"Oh." Naruto said, blinking before turning towards the gigantic fox, "Kyuubi-chan can you turn into that other form of yours for me so no one tries anything stupid because they're scared?"

A nod of the massive head came before a large puff of red smoke emitted from the fox. The oppressive and murderous aura that they had all grown somewhat used to was gone and as the smoke cleared, in place stood the Kyuubi in her human form, wearing a large cloak akin to everyone else's that they had originally come out there with, "Absolutely. I need to practice staying like this anyway to conceal my chakra. Maybe I'll get less people trying to capture me now if I spend more time like this?"

Walking around the Elemental Nations as a large red fox wasn't exactly the most conspicuous way for one to travel. Fear of power only kept so many people away. It seemed to attract others despite how liberating it felt.

"You're still going to let the Kyuubi walk aren't you?" Jiraiya finally remembered that Naruto had made the Kyuubi a promise to do just that. He thought that the man had never heard him speak of it, but he had, and before Jiraiya had never thought anything of it because doing so would have killed Naruto. He really must have been immortal, "You're crazy kid."

But for some reason the prospect didn't give him much fear in his heart. Maybe because of the fact that even then the Kyuubi was conversing casually with them… though it was probably likely because the Kyuubi's disguised form was so absurdly beautiful.

Kyuubi put her hands on her hips and smirked at Jiraiya, "I'm not some weapon for you humans to use and I won't let it happen again. I've been kept locked inside of your brood for the better part of a century. I won't do anything to risk my freedom. Not to Naruto-kun who did as he had always sworn to do and set me free."

Besides… after the display against Pein, and from being inside of Naruto for all of those months of preparation for this attack on Akatsuki, she knew full and well that Naruto could put her right back if he so wished to do so. Back inside of himself to boot. With the exact same seal.

Even though she had never given her word to be good, she felt that she owed Naruto at least that much. Besides. With Akatsuki gone there was no need for her massive amounts of power to be thrown around… and if there just so happened to be such an incident…

…Well she could always find her blonde hero to handle it for her. For she would always be able to find her last jinchuuriki, just as he would always be able to find her and check up on her in return. Because they were connected, even a little bit. He would always have a part of her and she would always have a part of him.

"I'm going on a trip to see what I've missed about this world since I was first imprisoned all those years ago." Kyuubi said with a sly look on her face as she turned and started to walk away from the group, "And don't get all bent out of shape if you see this beautiful body walking within the gates of Konoha one day. It just means I'm visiting, not that I'm there to start a ruckus."

There was a part of Kakashi that wanted to say what made her think that she could simply leave just like that, and then he realized that Naruto was there, and that there wasn't going to be anything he could do even if he happened to be inclined to bring the Kyuubi back, "This changes everything now…"

The only village with a biju in it was now Kumogakure. That could lead to a power shift.

"No it won't." Naruto said as Akiza began walking up to his side where the two shared a hug, "Ero-sennin, I remember your dream about peace, but I've got a different thought. I always did. Sorry."

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at his former student, but he wasn't acting out maliciously so his opinion had merit, "Everyone sees things differently, but what was your thought."

"When it comes to something like peace… people are always going to be there to fight against the idea." Naruto started to say, Akiza hanging off one side of him as he spoke to everybody, "Some would fight it to the death, and that would just make those close to them take up the cause even harder… it would just never end. So the way I always saw it since I was little… is that it was never about trying to change the world; but it's about doing your best to keep the world the way it is now."

Kakashi nodded in understanding, "The status quo… I see." The last twenty years had been the most peaceful out of any in the existence of the shinobi system. With a few crackpots like Orochimaru and Akatsuki here and there, but other than that there hadn't been much. As far as Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all went this was peace. They had never experienced war before despite a run-in here and there with another village.

"And besides." Naruto said, running a hand through his wet hair, "When you report back to Tsunade-baachan that I'm not dead, and that I could be anywhere… well that's a scary thought isn't it? The Raikage knows the kind of person I am and how I feel about Konoha even now. Gaara does too. So does Mei-chan." He felt Akiza's glare and corrected himself, "Err… the Mizukage." He then got back to his main point, "Who knows where I am or what I'm doing? I'll be like the ninja boogeyman."

Jiraiya's eyes widened as he saw wind around Naruto's feet shimmer and lift him up before forming a cloud, "Wait! You're leaving just like that? Right now?"

"Yep. You know I can't go back to Konoha." Naruto said as he and Akiza stood on the cloud beneath his feet, slowly climbing up into the air, "But I'll see you guys around somewhere. After all, you never know when I might show up. I'll have my eye on you guys."

Jushiro chuckled to hide the fact that he was crying. At least he got to see him for sure one last time. At least he was assured that Naruto was still alive. It was just a hair under being a better feeling than finishing off Orochimaru, "You'd better show your face for the wedding you jackass! And you'd better bring a good gift with you too cheapskate!"

"Whatever." Naruto remarked in return with a smile on his face even though he was crying too.

"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled up to him, "I still never got to fight you again! Don't think that all of this means that you're stronger than me for life!" He then smirked and a new eye pattern took over, changing his Sharingan, "If I don't have a clan anymore… well I'll just have to rebuild my clan." He said, pulling Sakura towards him in a hug, "And in the meantime I'll protect the village like it's my clan. I'll be Hokage. So when you come back you'll be having a fight against the first Uchiha Clan kage."

Naruto let out a few large laughs and held out his fist towards Sasuke, "Your clan pinkeye can't copy my alchemy, just remember that. Even if you can memorize a thousand jutsu… I'll just have to have a thousand ways to beat you with alchemy!"

"Men…" Both Sakura and Akiza muttered before smiling at each other silently mouthing 'goodbye'.

With nothing left to say, Naruto and Akiza bid everyone with one last wave before they rocketed off into the sky on Naruto's cloud transportation as everyone else watched them.

Once they got out of sight, Kakashi turned towards Sasuke, "Were you serious about becoming Hokage? That isn't something that one should say without intention to follow through."

"Yeah." Sasuke said with the utmost seriousness, "When I fought Itachi… I couldn't even kill him. He died before I could. I didn't feel angry. I didn't feel victorious. I felt empty Kakashi. My own brother died fighting me. I need a goal. I need something to dedicate my skills to, or this strength I've worked to get… I gained it for nothing. So why not try to protect the village that my clan had a hand in building?"

There were still threats out in the world against Konoha even though Akatsuki was gone. And like a real village of ninja there would always have to be those within ready to defend against it.

XxX

(The Skies Above the Elemental Nations)

"You ready?" Akiza asked Naruto, holding tightly to his waist from behind to stay on, "Can you really just leave it behind like that?" If he wanted to try and return to Konoha she wouldn't stop him, "Won't you miss it?"

"I'll miss Big Boss." Naruto admitted before looking back at Akiza with a grin, "But I can absolutely leave it behind. You're more important. Now what do you say I take you to that place I told you about where nobody would find us? Just you and me."

Akiza just shut her eyes and let Naruto take them wherever he wished to go, "Alright then hero. Take me home."

XxX

(Fifteen Years Later – Konohagakure no Sato – Hokage Monument)

The sun looked to be rising over the horizon, beginning to bathe the dark of the village in light once more. It seemed to be something of a metaphor if one were to think about it.

A man wearing the ceremonial robes and hat of the Hokage stood at the edge of one of the heads of the six kage that had been immortalized in stone there, the newest and last head on the end, right next to Tsunade's.

"Hokage-sama." A man wearing an ANBU mask and armor appeared in a swirl of wind and leaves, kneeling on the ground directly behind the man on the ledge, "It is time for you to begin with your daily tasks."

"I'm aware of that." The Hokage returned, not tearing his dark-eyed gaze away from the ever-rising sun, "Head to the office and sweep it for me. I'll be there in five minutes." The ANBU nodded and disappeared from sight, leaving the man alone once more.

It had been five years since he had gained enough support to eventually be awarded the seat of Rokudaime Hokage. Of course it didn't hurt to be known as the man that was the husband of the Godaime Hokage's apprentice, the man that defeated S-rank criminal Itachi Uchiha, one of the ninja that had taken part in the heralded final battle against Akatsuki, and the former teammate of the person widely perceived as the single most powerful man in the world.

A ghost of a person named Naruto Uzumaki. More legend than anything else really amongst the mounting generation.

"Sasuke-teme. Standing on your own head? Still as arrogant as you were when I last saw you."

A smirk came to the Hokage's lips as he pulled his hat from his head to reveal black hair that resembled the backside of a fowl. Though only his closest and oldest comrades would say that to him now with his station in the village. Sasuke's face still looked mostly the same though his face had developed tear troughs like his brother Itachi and his father Fugaku over time. He turned around to face his visitor and saw a man with spiky blonde hair, blue eyes, three whisker-marks on each cheek, and black robes underneath an open red coat that reached his ankles.

He still looked the same way that he did when he was twenty years old despite the fact that he was over thirty. Immortality apparently.

"Naruto." Sasuke said with a smile on his face, "It's been five years. What brings the strongest man in the world to our corner of the world? Is Akiza with you? Sakura wanted to see her again. It's been a long time."

"Nah." Naruto replied, walking forward to shake hands with the man, "She's back at home with the kids. She wanted to come though and she says hi." Sasuke nodded and the two walked back towards the edge of the cliff to stare out over the village, "So what's it like?"

"Being Hokage?" Sasuke asked, getting a nod out of Naruto, "It's amazing. That's all I can really say. It's the only way I can describe it Naruto. Thanks for the help with that by the way."

Before Sasuke became Hokage he and Naruto had their little promised battle with Sakura there to bear witness and retrieve Sasuke in case it was required. It was a measure of Sasuke's combat prowess as well as a way for Naruto to show the world that he was still around and still watching. Sasuke was carried unconscious into Konoha on Sakura's back sporting copious amounts of injuries and the words 'nice try' written on his body, but he returned with a trophy.

Apparently it was Naruto's metal auto-mail right arm that had been torn right off of his body from over the shoulder during the fight.

Too bad Naruto just regenerated a real arm right back in its place and thanked Sasuke for finally making him get rid of that thing… because he had been meaning to himself for the longest time.

"Thanking me for kicking your ass?" Naruto said disbelievingly with a chuckle, "I think hell just froze over." The two started laughing like old men reminiscing until they both stopped and watched the sun rise quietly, "By the way. I've been looking for that guy that you told me Itachi told you about before he died. The man with the swirl mask. He's a hard one to find you know."

Sasuke nodded again. He had been searching for this nameless threat to Konoha ever since the end of the Akatsuki episode, "Oh trust me, I know."

"Well anyway, I left you a present that I used to sneak into the village. He should be in interrogation right now." Naruto said, throwing his hands up behind his head as he squinted at the sun, "A freaky Venus flytrap looking present. Kind of colorful. He was a tough rundown. But he knows your masked buddy. So you're welcome."

Managing to keep the surprised and energized look off of his face at what had just been dropped in his lap, Sasuke just nodded chiefly, "Thanks. And here I didn't get you anything."

"Ah you didn't know I was coming so I forgive you Sasuke-teme." Naruto joked before stepping forward right towards the edge of the cliff, "I should be getting home. The brats should be driving Akiza-chan up the walls by now and I think Kyuubi-chan was supposed to be stopping in there for a visit." He spared a wave over his shoulder before slowly falling forward, "See you around Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded as Naruto fell forward and he activated his Sharingan as Naruto formed his cloud of flight and took off into the air high above the village. Now he'd be able to memorize the direction that Naruto took off in to find the location of where he lived so that he could search for his friend's home.

And then Naruto formed five clones that split off from him, with each going in a different direction at the same speed so that Sasuke couldn't determine which one was real, masking his real direction, "…Damn you Naruto."

XxX

(Uzu no Kuni)

"Mama, where's daddy?" A little girl asked, sitting in Akiza's lap as the two of them looked out over the ocean from the porch of their rather large and spacious seaside home. The little girl couldn't have been any older than three years old and had darker than normal skin, still lighter than Akiza's though, with neck-length brown hair. She had brilliant blue eyes though and they looked up at her calm mother, "He's been gone a long, long time."

"A week and a half _is_ a long time isn't it Kushina?" Akiza said calmly to the little girl. Both mother and daughter wore white kimonos with an Uzumaki Clan symbol on the back. Akiza's brown hair still sat in a ponytail down her back and she held a serene look on her face, "Well daddy had better come back soon or Kyuubi-obasan will be very upset."

The little girl named Kushina shivered a bit in her mother's lap, "Kyuubi-obasan is kind of scary when she's mad." She then hopped down from her mother's lap and grabbed her hand, "Come on mama, you said you were going to teach Shio-chan and Taifuu-kun how to use chakra today. I wanna watch!"

Akiza smiled down at the little girl and stood up to follow her to the field a ways away from the house where Kyuubi was watching over her and Naruto's other daughter and son, the girl Shio being six years old and the son Taifuu being eight, "Taifuu already knows how to use chakra sweetie. It's Shio that's finally old enough to learn." She noticed the little girl pouting and picked her up in her arms, "And one day you will too. And what do we do with the knowledge of how to use chakra and the ninja arts?"

"Protect our loved ones!" The little girl chirped happily, "I'll get stronger than you mommy, so I can protect you and daddy, and even Kyuubi-obasan, Shio-chan, and Taifuu-kun… and so I can swim in the ocean!"

"You don't need chakra to swim Kushina." Akiza laughed at her youngest daughter's expense as she turned and pointed out towards the ocean, "It's just that the big whirlpools around the island are dangerous and we don't want you to swim in the ocean. Stick to the lake that your brother and sister take you to, okay?" A large smile then pulled its way onto her face as she saw something streaking across the sky rapidly from that direction, "Oh look, your daddy's home."

"Daddy!" Akiza let Kushina down from her arms so she could run further out from the house into an open field where Naruto could easily see her from where he was in the sky, "Daddy, where you been? Why didn't you let me come with you?"

Naruto dropped from the sky and landed on the ground with his arms crossed over his chest trying to look cool when he had to intercept the missile flying at his body that was Kushina, "Haha… daddy had to go visit a friend from his old home and give him a present. You would have been bored baby." He said while hugging his youngest daughter close to him

Yeah, Kushina would have been bored… except for the part where he fought against the plant-man in a highly destructive battle and captured him to drop him right on Konoha's doorstep. She might have enjoyed that part.

"Would I have been bored?" Akiza asked, hands on her hips as she sauntered up to Naruto matter-of-factly, trying to look stern but failing to with the smile on her face, "You know I wanted to see Sakura, Haku, and your brother again."

A scoff came from Naruto as Kushina tried to mimic the raised eyebrow look on her father's face, "Yeah, I could have taken you and left Kyuubi-chan here by herself to watch over our children. That's a great idea." He said sarcastically, "If they didn't drive her to the point of murder by the end of day one I'd be surprised."

He honestly still dearly loved the biju that had been with him for his entire life as if she were family, but to leave her as a sole guardian for his children while he and Akiza were both out…

Yeah, until all of their kids were old enough to travel along with them when the need arose either Naruto or Akiza would always be staying home on Uzu no Kuni when something needed to be done out in the world. It was just safer all around that way.

Besides, Kyuubi loved roaming far too much to stay in one place to watch over their kids, even for just a week.

"Fine, but I get to go on the errand next time." Akiza stated, planting a kiss on Naruto's lips before making a fist visible for him to see, "I haven't fought anyone powerful in ages. Present company notwithstanding of course."

An impatient Kushina started stomping her feet, but in the grass her bare feet didn't make the slightest sound. Thus she grabbed one of both of her parent's hands and started trying to pull them in the direction of her siblings and where Kyuubi was, "Come on! Mama, I want to see Shio-chan learn how to use chakra! Daddy, Kyuubi-obasan came to see you too! Let's go already!"

The two retired shinobi let the little girl pull them both along, making her struggle with them a bit for kicks at how stubborn and determined she was to drag her family all together.

As they made it over a hill towards a beautiful lake where they could see Kyuubi lounging about on the grass nearby while a little girl with blonde hair older than Kushina was throwing shuriken at a target along with her brother who looked just like Naruto with brown hair and darker skin, Naruto had to victoriously think of one thing.

For someone who by all rights should never have been given a lot in life with even the slightest bit of comfort and peace he could only come to one conclusion.

'Not bad for an orphan kid with a demon stuck in him huh?'

**The End**

* * *

**And that's that I guess.**

**If nothing else I can say that I finally finished a story yeah? Whether I like the body of work I put down for the past two years when it came to this story or not I can honestly say that I've learned a whole lot about putting something like this up and about how to stitch a coherent tale together.**

**I've got nothing to add on to this point as you've already read the barely coherent ramblings of a madman since February of 2010. I thank you for that. I thank everyone that has ever helped me with productive comments and advice on what I needed to improve on when it came to story structure, character portrayal, and all sorts of things that have helped me grow from the infancy of my writing. **

**I hope that in the future I can put together something even better as I believe one can only improve from what I've lain down story wise for Fullmetal Shinobi. I hope a lot of you are along for the ride.**

**Okay, now that I'm done being all humble and meek about this story and the dedicated folks that chose to spend some of their free time following it for as long as they have, I believe that it is time for something else…**

…

…

…

**Yeah! I finished a damn story that went 68 chapters! And even if there were parts of it that I can't stand, that's not the point! This is the most splendiferous, spectagious, monumental event in the history of the world. And yes I know that spectagious isn't a real word, but damn it, it needs to be!**

**Because I finished a story! And that means something!**

**I don't know what it means, but it definitely means **_**something**_**!**

**So for the last time in the Fullmetal Shinobi story I feel the need to leave this the way that we have time and time again.**

**Ladies and gentlemen… Kenchi out.**


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